Growing Up With Autism: A Sister’s Perspective

What does autism look like through the eyes of a sibling?

In this special episode of The Neurotrition Podcast, the host interviews his 9-year-old daughter, Dylan, about what it is like growing up with her brother, Jacob, who has autism.

Dylan shares the everyday realities of their relationship, including helping Jacob through his morning routine, navigating stressful meltdowns, dealing with strangers staring in public, and explaining autism to classmates who wonder why her brother sometimes behaves differently.

She also talks about the progress she has seen in Jacob’s communication and behavior and some of the things they love doing together, including swimming, exercising with their mom, playing in the pool, and visiting theme parks.

Along the way, Dylan offers advice to other children with autistic siblings: stay calm, be kind, and remember that reacting negatively during a difficult moment usually does not make the situation better.

It is an honest and touching conversation about autism, family, patience, embarrassment, laughter, responsibility, and the complicated but powerful bond between a brother and sister.

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Podcast produced byJuming Delmas Studios
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome to another episode of the Neurotrition Podcast, where we give you the tools to balance the brain and optimize the body and redefine how to unlock human potential. And visit us at Neurotritician Podcast.com so you can listen to us on your preferred podcast platform. Okay, today we have a really, really special guest. Um I had my wife on a couple weeks ago, but today we have my wonderful daughter, Dylan Zademan, here with us today. And we're gonna be talking about kind of what it's like to have uh a brother, yes, a sibling with um special needs, in this, in this case, autism. And we're gonna get her perspective and she's gonna give some advice on uh for other siblings out there who might be dealing with this too. And I hope this is gonna be uh I think this is gonna be a really good episode for a lot of people to kind of understand uh behind the curtain on what uh kind of happens uh for these kids. So Dylan, thank you for coming on.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

All right, well, Dylan, tell us, you know, tell everyone a little bit about yourself. How old are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:38

I am nine years old.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

And what grade are you in?

SPEAKER_02 1:41

I'm in um fourth grade.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

You're in fourth grade now? Yes. You were in third grade grade.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

I was just about to say third, but I was like, no, I'm in fourth grade.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Okay, all right. So tell us a little bit what what you like to do, your hobbies, sports you play. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

Yeah, my top three like hobbies slash sports would probably be like playing soccer, baking, um swimming, hanging out with my friends.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

What do you like to bake?

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Muffins. Muffins, that's a bit uh muffins, um, maybe like brownies or something.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

And you said you play soccer?

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

What is your uh position in soccer?

SPEAKER_02 2:26

I play winger, I'll I'm always wide. Or sometimes I'll play defense, but I'm mainly winger. I'm always out wide.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

What else have you done sports-wise? Like Taekwondo? You used Taekwondo?

SPEAKER_02 2:39

I did Taekwondo and then What belt are you? I'm black.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Black belt. Don't mess around with her.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

And then we stopped for a little bit because I had other things I wanted to kind of try out.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

When I was little, I had I played T ball.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Like when I was three.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Four. Um. And I also played basketball.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Briefly, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Sorta.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

All right. What do you want to do? Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? Or is that still are you still kind of thinking about that?

SPEAKER_02 3:13

I've always wanted to be like a baker or help people with I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

You don't know.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

It's it's not sure yet.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Well, you're really young. You don't have to know that. Okay. Alright. Well, let's let's talk about a little bit about like what a day looks like. So, you know, tell us everybody about kind of like a typical day, what it looks like living with Jacob. Jacob's our, you know, Jacob's your brother, right? For those people who maybe don't know. Tell us a little bit about Jacob, number one.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Well, he's he's getting older every second, and he just sleeps in so much that I'm usually the one who wakes up early, and then I get ready, and then like I take a shower, get ready, and then usually I'll wake Jacob up because if he's just in his bed, he won't get up, like ever. And then so I have to wake him up and then get him dressed first thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

And then you just tell him to get dressed?

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Yeah, I just tell him to get dressed, like Jacob, go get dressed.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

So you just make sure he's doing what he's supposed to be doing. Yeah. So with when that with all that going on, do you feel like the mornings are kind of stressful?

SPEAKER_02 4:27

They sometimes can be, depending. Like sometimes we like he wants some type of matching clothing piece to go with something else.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

So it's just sometimes a little stressful trying to like figure everything out. Like and um, it's hard, it's just there's so many things going on all around.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

There's something over there, there, there, and everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Does he have chores he has to do in the morning?

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Yes. Um, we have a big um chore list um that we have. Um, he's really good at making his bed. So usually when he gets up um and he gets dressed, some if he has if he's just sitting on the couch or something, like watching TV, I'll be like, um, Jacob, go make your bed or something. Um, some and sometimes um well he used to kind of like bother us um when we get up.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 5:29

Like he would get up, run around. He still kind of does that, but now he just watches TV in his room.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Makes a lot of noise sometimes when he gets up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

But that's true.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Now he kind of gets up and just watches TV.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

He just he's very calm now.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

Oh tiny bit.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

So that's gotten a little bit better, huh? Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Definitely better as we go on.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

Yeah. He talks a lot more too, doesn't he?

SPEAKER_02 5:49

A lot, a lot more. It's more clear. Like the other day when it was Father's Day. Um, I told Jacob, here, here's this balloon. Go tell Daddy Happy Father's Day. And he went, Happy Father's Day, like the most clearest voice in the world.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Yeah. That was a lot different before, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Yeah. I was like, how did you say that?

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Yeah. So what would you say? Why don't you talk a little bit? Tell people about like what is the hardest part about Jacob? Like, what what's what makes you feel like either I don't know if the right word, stressed or scared sometimes? Frustrated's probably a good word. Like what what what's what's make well tell you know, you can sit say a few things.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Like, sometimes I want waffled, and then like, and then he like changes his mind or something. Yeah. And you're like, no, I want toast, and then it it kind of stresses me out because I'm like, what do you really want?

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Like, or what do you want in the first place? Um I don't really know any other reasons though. It's kind of hard.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Well, I'm not just talking about the morning, like, so like when oh, like just day to day, like what are things that like you know, I know sometimes if you we drive by a certain store or something like that, I know what store, you know. So tell me. So talk about that. Talk about the things that are challenging that happen.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

So a few uh speaking of stores, like Walm Walmart, Target, basically any stores that have toys, he's gonna wanna go. And whenever we pass it, I'm like, don't look over here. I try to like block the window, like distract him, or else he'll be like, I wanna go there, I wanna go there. And it's just and then complete meltdown, which stresses me up so much. Yeah. Because he just he starts like getting all mad, then he starts like it's kind of freaking out, and then kind of just scares us.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

And sometimes it's surprising, like sometimes he has those moments where and you don't really think it's coming, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Yeah, you don't think he like sometimes it'll just be the simplest things.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

A lot of kids have those things, like that's just the simplest things they get over.

unknown 8:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Okay. Well, what about like do you have like whenever you're like at school or we're out in public or you know, we're at something like that, and there's other kids that like you know or age, do they ever say anything about Jacob? But like how how do you when people well, what do they say? What do people say?

SPEAKER_02 8:23

I remember in I think it was kindergarten.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Wow, good memory.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

First grade. Yeah, I think it was first grade. Yeah, I think it was first grade because it was when I did my science fair. Yeah, and my mom was there. Um, you were still working at um the office.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Um shocking. Yeah. Jacob was there because um, Jacob, I don't think Jacob did school at that. I think he was still homeschooled.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

He was definitely homeschooled. And then um, so he came with my mom to see the science fair. Um, and there was just one person that was like, Why is your brother like like why is he acting like that? Like, why is he so weird? I'm like, well, it's hard to explain. It's very hard to explain. He has something called autism, and when you say autism, it doesn't help at all because they're like, What is autism?

SPEAKER_00 9:17

How do you explain to them what autism is?

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Sometimes we'll be like, I don't completely remember or some I just don't really know how to do it.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

So if I if I asked you what aut if if I if you had explained to me what autism is, what would you explain?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

So I'd probably say like his just like his brain works differently than others. Like he doesn't always understand someone's like or doesn't understand how to act.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

Yeah, like he thinks it's fine if he can just like you know, like like start freaking out of nowhere and like freaking out or like just like is it more like just making like we call it stimming.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

Oh yeah, stimming. Like when he goes, Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, like he just tells it out of nowhere. It it's not really a bad thing necessarily.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Yeah. Do you ever feel embarrassed?

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Yes, whenever he has meltdown, meltdowns in public, especially pub if it's at home, I'm like, I just hide in my room and hope for the best. Hopefully I just let him calm down in his room. Um sometimes um, but if it's in public, I have to be with my mom. Yeah. Um and the thing is I have to also help her, but I just feel so embarrassed sometimes because like everyone's looking at what's happening, everyone's like, is he okay? What's happened? I just feel so embarrassed. And it's just some people don't when someone stares at you, they don't really care. Right. Me on the other hand, I do kind of care.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Yeah. Because I'm like, What are they thinking about you?

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Yeah, like what's going on, like that's normal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

So okay. So what uh what are the fun things about Jacob?

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Fun things.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

What do you like doing with Jacob? And I mean, you guys play and have a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Yeah, we play. Um I kind of like when we're at home and we like work out all together. It's like mommy and Jacob because my mom has to do her workout, and then I have to do my workout, and then we just let Jake kind of hop in with us because it's basically good for him. He like starts he gets calmer when he like lifts the weights, the like three pound weights.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

It's just nice for him to actually hold something.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

You know, he also gets us those fast passes or whatever at Disney World, too.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Oh yeah, that's the fun thing. I didn't yeah, it's definitely the fun thing. It like any type of like theme park, or maybe not any type, but to let like since he has autism, he'll let us get like a pass that like we can just scan something and then it like lets us like just walk around and we still get our place in line.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Yeah, that's nice, huh?

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

And it like lets us know on like um I think you guys have the most fun in the pool. Yeah, just like swimming together.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

I remember we always well, we always play this game. We always try to steal each other's floats. And it's really fun. We play like you can knock each other off the boat. Uh it's really fun.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

So, you know, Jacob has a lot of challenges and it can be really tricky sometimes. But do you what do you do? I mean, I know you you love your brother, right? Yes. Yes. And do you overall really enjoy being around him?

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Yeah. Yeah. And he's getting better all the time, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Yeah. It always depends on the moment.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

Yeah. It can depend on it.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

It depends on the moment when you're like It can depend on the moment. Why are you being like this, and then other times you're like, you're just so speedy. Like some it's just depends on.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Do you uh I think mom told you about this. Did you tell you about what he did when he was having his movie day at his school?

SPEAKER_02 13:11

I don't remember. I might have.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

He was having uh at his little school, they were doing like a movie day.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Mm-hmm. Was he watching Lyland Stitch?

SPEAKER_00 13:20

I don't there goes your mouth. That's like his favorite movie right now. Yeah. Yes. But, you know, he was doing um, yeah, they were watching a movie and they were doing popcorn. You didn't know this?

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Oh, I might have no. Like, he got me popcorn. He got your popcorn. Yeah, he went in there and then he came out with two bags of popcorn. Like, why are you gonna need two bags of popcorn? And he just kind of hands it over and I'm like, what? And my mom goes, like, he got popcorn for you, and I was like, Oh, thank you. I I was not expecting it.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Make sure he got some popcorn.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Yeah, he likes when someone gets something he likes, someone else just sometimes have.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Yeah, that's really nice.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Honestly, it depends though. Like his choice, he doesn't like sharing those things.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

So, what would be your advice for other brothers and sisters who might have a brother or sister with autism? Yeah. What's your advice? What would you your advice to them be?

SPEAKER_02 14:15

I'd probably say if they're just being really annoying and they're having a meltdown or something, just like try to be nice. Don't try to say anything like mean or anything, and don't like push back or like kind of like if they do something to you, don't do it back, because it's not gonna help them. They're just gonna know, well, now I gotta do it more. Yeah, and it just keeps going. It's never fun. So I'll just try to be nice, be like, hey, don't do that. Don't try to like, you know, freak out or right.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Try to be calm. Well, you do a really good job of that, and yeah, we're really it's hard. We're really happy that you know you do so well with them because you help him a lot, too. Yeah. So all right. Well, anything else you think the audience should know about autism or kind of what you think about living with Jacob?

SPEAKER_02 15:12

All I know is it's also hard and fun at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Hard and fun at the same time. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

It depends though.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

I love that. Well, I think this I'm um I thank you for coming on and being honest. I think that was really awesome, and I think it's really important because you know, sometimes I feel like because Jacob needs so much attention, sometimes it takes away from you, you know?

SPEAKER_02 15:33

Mm-hmm. Sometimes you're going to the beach and um you got like sick or something. Yeah. I remember like we can't and then we had to we weren't because he had a seizure. Yeah, we had a seizure and then um so we had to drive back. Good thing we were only on the interstate and we weren't too far. Um, so um it wasn't too bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yeah. It's lots of ups and lots of downs, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Well, I think this is really important um conversation. I think it's important to, you know, have these um neurotypical siblings who who live this too. It's just not the parents. There's stress that comes to the the brothers and sisters in the house too. And um, I think it's important for them to have a voice too. So, Dylan, I really thank you for coming on. Did you have fun?

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Yes, a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

All right, all right, everybody. Don't forget to like and subscribe and follow us at on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok at Neurotrition Podcast. And visit us at Neurotrition Podcast.com uh to follow us on your favorite uh podcast platform. Dylan, thanks again for coming on. And maybe we'll have you on again sometime. Do you like that?

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Yeah, that'd be a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

All right, tell everyone, see you next time.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Oh, see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

See you guys on the next episode.