Behind The White Coat - Real Talk For Physician Spouses
Being married to medicine comes with challenges—long hours, relocations, and feeling like you’re navigating it all alone. That’s where this podcast comes in.
I’m sharing the things I wish someone had told me—how to survive medical training, juggle parenting, manage finances, and actually build a life you love. We’ll cover everything from making friends in a new city to understanding insurance, finding childcare, and staying connected as a couple.
Some episodes will be just me, sharing real stories and lessons learned. Other times, I’ll bring on expert guests—financial advisors, physician spouses, and those who’ve been through it all—to offer practical advice.
Most of all, this is a place for community. A space where you can feel understood, supported, and even laugh along the way. Because being married to medicine doesn’t mean doing it alone.
So grab a coffee (or wine!), and let’s talk about the real side of life Behind The White Coat.
Behind The White Coat - Real Talk For Physician Spouses
#5| Those Five Minutes Matter More Than You Think
Time scarcity creates unique challenges for physician marriages, forcing couples to navigate the perpetual waiting game that comes with medical careers. Amanda Barron shares strategies for maximizing connection in limited time, emphasizing quality over quantity and the power of intentional micro-moments.
• Physician careers create a constant waiting game for partners—waiting for calls back, waiting for them to get home, waiting for schedules to align
• Shifting mindset from focusing on time you don't have to maximizing time you do have
• Creating meaningful "micro moments" of connection—even just 5 minutes can make a difference
• Making weekly date "nights" work (even when they happen at breakfast or lunch)
• Simple connection strategies: quick FaceTime calls, leaving sticky notes, sharing coffee between patients
• Being intentionally present during limited time together creates deeper connection than hours of distracted time
• Giving yourself grace when you're solo parenting or managing with a partner working 80+ hours
• Validating that your frustrations are normal and you're not doing anything wrong
Share this episode with someone who could benefit from these strategies, and connect with me on Instagram @AmandaBarronRealtor or join our private Facebook group for physician spouses. Thanks for listening, and remember—you're never in this alone.
Hey there and welcome to Behind the White Coat. I'm Amanda Barron, your host physician spouse and your go-to friend for real talk about this medical life. If you're juggling long hours, solo parenting or finances and feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. This podcast is your space for honest conversations, real advice and the support that I wished I'd had years ago. So some episodes will be just me sharing what I've learned along the way, and then other times I'll bring on guests to help navigate the challenges of being married to medicine. So grab a cup of coffee or wine, get comfy and let's dive in. Hey guys, and welcome to today's episode of Behind the White Coat Real Talk for Physician Spouses, and I am so happy you're here.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is actually about time scarcity, and I know all of you know what I'm talking about. So it doesn't matter what stage in life you are in, as far as in this medical training, being married to medicine journey you are on, you could be in the trenches of residency juggling toddlers and call schedules, call schedules. You can be an empty nester going towards retirement. I still feel like we all know exactly what I'm talking about and a lot of times, time is like our rarest resource, and then, when we actually have time together, it can feel a little rushed, it can feel a little emotional and then very, very exhausting. So that is what we're going to be unpacking in today's episode all about time scarcity. So let's dive right in.
Speaker 1:The demand of time on a medical career is brutal. You can have long hours, call schedules, night shifts, work an entire weekend, charting patient after patient and for your partner or your spouse, you can feel very alone and I feel like it ends up being a waiting game. You are waiting for them to call you back, and it was hours ago that you called them. You are waiting for them to get home. You are waiting for them to call you back, and it was hours ago that you called them. You are waiting for them to get home. You are waiting for them to potentially have dinner with the family, waiting for them to get off call, waiting for them to know their schedule so that you can make plans. It's always a constant wait, but I feel like it's also a mind shift. So, instead of thinking of all of the time you don't have together, I think you need to really consider the time you do have together and making it super intentional and what I like to do is think of it in little chunks, because that's usually all we have are these small little chunks of time or micro moments. So my husband and I, long ago, when we got married, we decided you know what? We're going to have date night once a week. Now I have to tell you, over the years that's looked a little different. This year we'll be married 21 years. But date night could be during the day, it could be in the morning, midday night. So when I say date night the morning, midday night. So when I say date night, take that loosely first of all.
Speaker 1:And then sometimes it was literally me bringing up a cup of coffee in between him seeing his patients or in between his cases, and we would have that cup of coffee together for five minutes and he was on his way. But I loved still those five minutes because it allowed us to have some time to connect. It allowed me to ask how his day was going. Being able to feel listened and heard goes a long way even in a short period of time. So I was able to ask him about a sick patient. I know it was weighing heavily on him and so just to sit down and ask how is the patient doing? Are they doing better? Did what you do as far as in your procedure help that patient? And not only that, but then he can kind of reflect on how it's now affecting the family and I think sometimes in turn how it was affecting him, but he didn't really know until we had these conversations.
Speaker 1:So those micro moments matter and again, it's not just about time but it's about that connection that you make during that time. So some other ideas would be quick FaceTime, even if it's in between lunch break or walking from the parking garage into the hospital, you can still hear their voice, you can still see their face and you can still make that connection. A sticky note in the bathroom on the mirror or in their car, I think would be a great little something telling them hey, I'm thinking of you Again, focus on not the time you don't have, but the time you have. So another way to rephrase that or mind shift would be oh my gosh, we have no time together this weekend to. Hey, we've got two hours of uninterrupted time. How are we going to spend that together? So I do think on both sides it helps to kind of shift that in the way that you view your time and then how you make it uninterrupted, make it important, make those times that you're together connection time.
Speaker 1:So I know for some of you listening, your partner is working 80 plus hours, maybe nights, maybe you are solo parenting and it feels like trying to shift your mindset or maximize your time isn't real. It doesn't seem like you can realistically do that. I've been there and I am here to say that you're not doing it wrong. You're not wrong to feel this way and just continue to keep showing up, continue to keep giving grace, continue to keep giving support and do those micro moments because they actually make a difference. And I think over time you'll be able to see that those little snippets here and there really allow you to have some of that intentional time to connect.
Speaker 1:So, like we talked about, time is scarce and real, especially in medicine. But your connection is what the goal is, not the actual amount of time that you get to spend together. You could have five minutes of great connection time. That is so much more important and deeper than hours of unintentional connection time. So take the pressure off yourself, be present in the times that you do have together and be flexible, be kind to yourself, be kind to each other and just keep in mind that we get it. You're not in this alone. I hear you, I am cheering for you. Or send me a DM on Instagram at Amanda Barron Realtor, or in the show notes I'll put a link for like our private Facebook group, our guides, if you need any connections for those. But just try this week to be a little bit more intentional, to connect and maybe space out a couple little micro moments and just see if your partner notices or see how it makes you feel and if you feel more connected and potentially feel a little bit more heard.
Speaker 1:So thanks again for listening and I encourage you to share this with somebody that you feel like could benefit. And if you've got any questions concerns comments, please let me know and I look forward to the next episode. Bye, that's a wrap on this episode of Behind the White Coat. I hope today's conversation left you feeling more understood and supported and if you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe, leave a review or share it with another physician spouse. Your support helps more of us to connect. Keep in mind this podcast is for you, so let's keep this conversation going. Dm me on Instagram at Amanda Barron Realtor, with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions or even guest suggestions. I would really love to hear from you. Thanks for spending part of your day with me and remember you are never in this alone. See you next time.