Behind The White Coat - Real Talk For Physician Spouses
Being married to medicine comes with challenges—long hours, relocations, and feeling like you’re navigating it all alone. That’s where this podcast comes in.
I’m sharing the things I wish someone had told me—how to survive medical training, juggle parenting, manage finances, and actually build a life you love. We’ll cover everything from making friends in a new city to understanding insurance, finding childcare, and staying connected as a couple.
Some episodes will be just me, sharing real stories and lessons learned. Other times, I’ll bring on expert guests—financial advisors, physician spouses, and those who’ve been through it all—to offer practical advice.
Most of all, this is a place for community. A space where you can feel understood, supported, and even laugh along the way. Because being married to medicine doesn’t mean doing it alone.
So grab a coffee (or wine!), and let’s talk about the real side of life Behind The White Coat.
Behind The White Coat - Real Talk For Physician Spouses
#25| Residency Interview Season, Together
We break down residency interview season from the spouse’s seat and share how to help without taking over. Expect practical checklists, a simple spreadsheet system, and clear ways to balance support, budgets, and boundaries.
• the spouse’s role as logistics lead and emotional anchor
• weekly check-ins to set involvement and boundaries
• travel tactics for flights, hotels, and budgets
• packing redundancies and printed documents
• city scouting for costs, commute, schools, and vibe
• a shared spreadsheet for programs, notes, scores, and color-coding
• key dates tracking for rank lists and Match Day
• simple rituals to manage stress and savor wins
If you want the free residency interview spreadsheet, like I mentioned above, I will link it in the show notes.
If you have additional questions, please send them to me and I would love to hear what the questions are.
I am happy to either do an episode about it to answer the questions or if I don't know the answers, I'm happy to share with my network of other fellow physicians and physician spouses so we can get your answer to your question right away.
And if you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another physician spouse.
DM me on Instagram or email me at amanda@abtnhomes.com with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions.
Hello, my friend, and welcome back to another episode. Today we're going to be diving into something that is equal parts exciting, exhausting, and honestly a little bit chaotic. It is the residency interview season. Now, if your partner's going through this right now, you already know it's not just their season, but it's a season for you too. And even if you're not the one in the suit sweating through multiple interviews, you're living it right alongside them. And so today, a couple things that I'm going to share. The first is what this season really looks like from the spouse's perspective. The second is how can you be a part of this process? Third is a checklist of things that you might actually need. And then the fourth is a spreadsheet system to kind of keep all of the interviews, institutions, dates, details straight. So think of this episode as part pep talk, part strategy session, and part reality check. So here's the thing interview season is a weird blend of excitement, anxiety, and logistics. Your partner is focused on preparing answers, selling their skills, remembering which program director is which. You as a spouse are quietly playing travel agent, your their emotional support system, and just their kind of reality checker. So you can be part of this process without making it feel like you're trying to control things too, because I know that it's anxiety on both sides and what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, and just keeping everything straight. Think travel logistics, helping with flights, hotel, transportation, the city itself, researching neighborhoods, cost of living, schools, commute times, things to do, and then moral support, being a sounding board for their concerns, their excitement, and just a second set of eyes, right? Catching conflicts in the calendar, double-booked flights, overlapping interview dates, just keeping it all straight. And so your role is less about them as far as where to go and more about just keeping the whole machine running smoothly. So how are you going to be involved without like stepping on toes, right? And so some spouses want a lot of input, others not so much. And it's kind of tricky finding that balance where you feel involved, but you aren't necessarily making all the decisions. So here are a few ways. If the institution does not tackle the hotel stay, and it may be a virtual interview, I know some institutions are still doing that, and then some are actually doing in person. So that that will depend on where the interviews are. But sometimes they'll take care of the hotel for you, and then other times you're on your own. And I think if I remember right, we were kind of on our own. So I kind of did a little bit of research, one for proximity and then two, of course, for budget, because we were on a budget. So I basically was like, I found two hotels. One is cheaper. This one has better reviews and it's within walking distance of the hospital. Which one do you prefer? Do you want me to go ahead and book these? So I was just trying to help take that pressure off of him. Another was we would just have little like weekly check-ins to review our schedule together, make sure that we were on the same page. Was I gonna go to any of these interviews with him, make it like a fun little trip together where I could explore the city while he was in the middle of the interviews? Again, it really depends on whether it's in person or virtual. And then obviously know when to step back. So I didn't go on every interview with him, but sometimes they just need to decompress without talking about the interviews. And then sometimes I could tell when he was just really excited about a city, about a hospital, about a program. And then he would sit and chat all about it and compare the programs with me. And so I kind of just would gauge my involvement with kind of his energy level. And then I would just kind of mirror that. So a checklist may be helpful, especially a checklist for you if you're going, and then a checklist for the one involved in the interview. So interview outfits and maybe even backups. So depending on if you are traveling and checking a bag and your bag gets lost, you want to have backups and a carry-on. So that would be something that I would make sure to have. I would also have printed copies of maybe your CV or personal statement. Even if you think they won't need them, you have them just in case. All of your travel information, whether it's in a folder, an app, confirmation numbers, flight, hotel, your itinerary for the actual interview or what the weekend's gonna look like, a map of the city. And even if you don't have much time to drive around the city, just knowing what's what's around. And a lot of times the visitor center has great maps of like downtown itself, but then it also will have maps of areas, neighborhoods in relation to hospitals. So sometimes that's really helpful too. I am one of those I have to travel with snacks and water because you never know when you will be able to have a snack or some food. And I start to feel not so great and get a little bit grumpy. So I like to have that. Definitely a portable phone charger, depending on if you're using your phone for GPS or you're using it to prepare for your interview. You don't want your phone to die. So definitely want that. And then some sort of notepad and pen for jotting down your questions, jotting down anything that they may be sharing for you. On the spouse side of things, a great checklist for you is a spreadsheet with all the different interviews, locations, dates, contact information, maybe notes on each city, what housing costs look like, size of the city, what commutes look like there, if there's public transportation, um, if it's more walkable, what the commute times look like, if you have kids, what schools look like, that community vibe. And then if you are going in person and as a spouse, you're actually able to go with them, a list of must see spots while you're there. It's kind of like an adventure trip for you while it's an interview trip for them. And so it really just depends on the program. And then calendars blocked for key decision dates. So like when the rank list deadlines are, match day, when the interviews are, just so that nothing, nothing is missed. I encourage you together to create a spreadsheet. This just organizes everything, especially if you have multiple interviews. It's a great way for you to kind of keep track of things. So I will put this in the show notes, but ideas for the spreadsheet would be like the program name, the city and state it's in, obviously the interview date, travel details, who the contact person is, and then like your impressions, scale of one to 10. What's your impression? What's your partner's impression, a place for notes? So like hospital size, call schedule, benefits, and then maybe even put like your gut feeling in there. I think a lot of times trust your first impression on things, whether it's of the hospital, maybe you got to meet some of the administrative staff, uh, other residents or their spouses gave you a little inside, sneak peek of things, put all that in there. And then you could always color code things depending on your level of spreadsheets. I love color coding, but you know, you could do it on interest level. Green, top choice, yellow is kind of a maybe, and red you're less interested in. So I think something like that would be really helpful just to keep things organized and look back on, especially if time has passed, or again, like I said, you've got multiple places that you're interviewing. So whether you're booking flights, scouting out neighborhoods, or just making sure that you are all packed and ready to go, you are still, as a spouse, a really important part of this process. And the interview season is intense, but it's also the beginning chapters of your next big adventure. So when match day rolls around, you know you had a hand in getting to this point and getting to a decision or preparation. So if you want the free residency interview spreadsheet, like I mentioned above, I will link it in the show notes. I felt like it's it's just a time saver, a sanity saver. So you're not keeping everything in your head. So that is it for today's episode. I hope that you got a couple little nuggets of something in there that you might be able to take with you during this interview process. If you have additional questions, please send them to me. I would love to hear what the questions are. Cause if you have them, that means somebody else has them as well. So I am happy to either do an episode about it to answer the question. Or if I don't know the answer, I'm happy to share with my network of other fellow physicians and physician spouses so we can get your answer to your question right away. So thanks again for your time. And until next time, that's a wrap on this episode of Behind the White Coat. I hope today's conversation left you feeling more understood and supported. And if you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another physician spouse. Your support helps more of us to connect. Keep in mind this podcast is for you. So let's keep this conversation going. DM me on Instagram at Amanda Barron Realtor with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions. I would really love to hear from you. Thanks for spending part of your day with me, and remember, you are never in this alone. See you next time.