Behind The White Coat - Real Talk For Physician Spouses
Being married to medicine comes with challenges—long hours, relocations, and feeling like you’re navigating it all alone. That’s where this podcast comes in.
I’m sharing the things I wish someone had told me—how to survive medical training, juggle parenting, manage finances, and actually build a life you love. We’ll cover everything from making friends in a new city to understanding insurance, finding childcare, and staying connected as a couple.
Some episodes will be just me, sharing real stories and lessons learned. Other times, I’ll bring on expert guests—financial advisors, physician spouses, and those who’ve been through it all—to offer practical advice.
Most of all, this is a place for community. A space where you can feel understood, supported, and even laugh along the way. Because being married to medicine doesn’t mean doing it alone.
So grab a coffee (or wine!), and let’s talk about the real side of life Behind The White Coat.
Behind The White Coat - Real Talk For Physician Spouses
#32| You Can’t Wait To Be Invited—Start Inviting And Watch Your Circle Grow
We get honest about how weird adult friendship can feel and why waiting to be invited no longer works. Practical ideas, simple scripts, and a one-week challenge make building your circle feel doable and less awkward.
• why friendship feels harder with adult responsibilities
• designing community on purpose, not by chance
• where to meet people in medical circles and beyond
• kids’ activities as low-friction connection points
• church and values-based small groups for depth
• interest groups that create easy repetition
• using social media DMs to spark real-life coffee
• simple invites and scripts that reduce awkwardness
• embracing seasonal friendships without guilt
• one-week challenge to make a first move
Please feel free to text me, send me a DM, and I would love to meet up with you in person.
If you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another physician spouse.
DM me on Instagram or email me at amanda@abtnhomes.com with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions.
Hello, my friend, and welcome back to today's episode of Behind the White Coat. I am your host and fellow physician spouse. Today we are going to be talking about something that we all feel, but rarely say out loud, especially as an adult. And that is finding friends. Like, why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Whether you've just moved for residency, started a new job, or simply realized that your social circle looks a little quieter than it used to be, then this episode is for you. So let's just talk about it a little bit and be honest. Let's call it what it is. That I feel like adult friendship is weird. And if you have a partner, I feel like it's even weirder because you're kind of like couples dating, where maybe you like one of the partners, but not the other. And so I feel like when we were younger, it just happened. I don't know if we cared less, if we had easier commonalities, but you had built-in community, whether it was school, sports, you had a roommate in a dorm. But now I feel like we are juggling a lot more. And so maybe that's part of what makes it so difficult. It could be your juggling work, call schedules, your house chores. I know I have a mountain of laundry, or you know, your kids' schedules. And then if you add in a move or a move for medicine, just in general, naturally life can just kind of drift and you drift apart. And suddenly finding friends feels hard. It's awkward, it's vulnerable, and sometimes can be discouraging and very lonely. And I have been there. I have sat at church, I have sat at sporting events or at a school function, and you kind of purposely act like you've got something to do on your phone or that you're reading something because everyone else seems to already have their people. And even saying this as an adult, it feels kind of silly to even care about this. But here's what I've learned that friendship in adulthood, it a lot of times doesn't just happen anymore, that there's something that you have to actually build on purpose. It takes effort. And so, you know, as an adult, where do we find these friends? And obviously it's different for everyone in seasons of life, situations that people are in, but I want to get practical. So here are some places where friendships tend to start naturally if you are open to them. And I think that's the big thing is saying yes, getting out of our comfort zone, actually putting things into motion. So here are some places that as an adult or in a new city or in a new job. Obviously, the first one I'll throw out is your kids. And sometimes that makes it a little bit easier because you are forced to go to school events or birthday parties or sporting events. And they are golden opportunities. Even a quick, hey, do you want to grab coffee after practice can turn into something great. The second, obviously, through your work or your partner's work. And being completely honest, I quit my job when we moved here to Nashville from Texas. And so I didn't have that avenue. And it made things a little bit harder. If you're part of the medical world, I say definitely lean into those circles because everyone's feeling the same in those circles, a lot of times lonely. Maybe they have no family, their partner is gone all the time. So lean into those, the residency groups, hospital events. We talked about social media or even connecting with other spouses who are living this medical relationship life and shared experiences, you guys, creates an instant connection. I will tell you, I find somebody who is also a spouse of somebody, you know, being married to medicine. And it's like, say no more. I get it. And so you do have those instant connections. And so I definitely feel like that's a huge win for you to find those connections and make them. Another one would be through your church. A lot of times they'll have a small group and you can meet people through the church community. There's something about gathering around your shared values that I think sometimes can make friendships feel meaningful. And not to say your other friendships don't, but a lot of times if you've got that common ground, it does help. Um, sometimes break down some barriers or walls and then allows for you to have some things to talk about. Obviously through interest groups, which I know we've talked about in previous episodes. So I found some of my very close friends through a running group, book clubs, dog park meetups, yoga, volunteering. You already know you have something in common. So it's it's just a matter of doing it and showing up. And then we've talked about social media, and I can't tell you how many genuine friends I have formed from a simple Instagram DM. I will give a shout out to probably one of my closest friends, both professionally and personally, Heather Fuller. We met through Instagram. I sent her a DM. I had a question about something that she was definitely more experienced about than I was. And I just said, hey, I would love to learn about this. Do you have just an hour out of your time to meet for coffee? And she was so kind and said yes. And unfortunately, she's been stuck with me for like six years. And we talk multiple times a day. And I just adore her. And I'm so grateful. I'm grateful that I did message her on Instagram and she was totally up for meetings. So you guys just got to get out of that comfort zone. Another thing I think for adult friendships is a mindset shift. That as adults, we have to stop waiting to be invited and start doing the inviting. Don't worry so much about, oh my gosh, what are people gonna think? That should I ask this? Should I say this? Am I gonna be weird? And when you're one of the ones who's like, hey, let's get coffee. Do you want to go for a walk? You are opening up a door, probably to somebody else that feels the same way, or they're hoping that somebody just asks them to do something. And yes, it takes courage. It might even feel a little bit awkward at first, but genuine friendships always start with one brave moment of vulnerability, or if someone is doing the inviting, you have to say yes, even when it is uncomfortable. And it's okay if not every connection turns into a lifelong friendship. But sometimes people in your are in your life for a season and it is what you need in that moment, and that is okay too. So here is my challenge for you guys is do one thing this week to build connection. So whether that means introduce yourself to another spouse or partner or another parent at school, somebody at church, text somebody that you maybe kind of know or send a DM. Hey, let's grab some coffee. And if you're somebody local in the national or surrounding area and you are looking for connection, I always love an excuse to get together with people. So please feel free to text me, send me a DM, and I would love to meet up with you in person. So hopefully, you guys got a little encouragement from this episode, feeling like, you know, I get it. I have felt this way as well. And so hopefully you found some sort of creative way in this episode to build a friendship as an adult. Or if you've got a creative way, I want to hear from you. Please send me an email or DM me at Amanda Barron Realtor. I would love to chat with you or get some good nuggets from you that I can share with everyone else. So hopefully this episode resonated with you. And if so, I would love for you to share it with a friend who's also looking to build their circle to find connections or take a screenshot, tag me, tell me that you found meaningful connection as an adult and how you did it. And just remember that friendship takes effort, but it's definitely worth it. And the right people are out there and they might just be waiting for you to make the first move or for you to say hello. So keep that in mind and step out of your comfort zone and reach out to somebody new. Thanks so much for listening. And until next time, that's a wrap on this episode of Behind the White Coat. I hope today's conversation left you feeling more understood and supported. And if you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another physician spouse. Your support helps more of us to connect. Keep in mind this podcast is for you. So let's keep this conversation going. DM me on Instagram at Amanda Barron Realtor with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions. I would really love to hear from you. Thanks for spending part of your day with me, and remember, you are never in this alone. See you next time.