#48| Self-Care Is A Necessity, Not A Luxury

We slow down together with a breath and get honest about self-care for the messy, tired days when we still have to show up. We redefine self-care as a necessity and share simple, low-cost ways to feel more like ourselves again, especially as physician spouses and partners. 

• why self-care gets skipped: no time, no energy, no money and the belief it is selfish 
• what running on empty looks like: exhaustion, irritability, disconnection and short patience 
• a clear definition of real self-care beyond bubble baths and shopping 
• questions to find your version of self-care: what restores you, grounds you and brings joy 
• five-minute reset with breathing and stillness for consistent relief 
• free movement ideas that shift mood: walking, stretching, yoga and YouTube workouts 
• small morning or night rituals: silence, journaling, brain dumps, reading and gratitude 
• connection check-ins: calls, voice memos and simple time with a friend 
• protecting your energy with boundaries: saying no, leaving early and not over-explaining 

Send me a message, tell me what that one small act is that you are going to implement today. 

Share this episode with somebody that you feel like maybe does need to stop for a minute, slow down, and implement self-care themselves. 

If you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe and leave a review.

Connect with me on Instagram or email me at amanda@abtnhomes.com with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions.

Transcript

Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Cheap Self-Care That Works

Rituals That Bring You Back

Boundaries And Energy Protection

One Small Act And Community

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey, friend, and welcome back to another episode. And before we start, I want you guys to take one breath with me. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I am constantly in this hustle and bustle and racing from point A to point B. And this goes along with my topic for today's episode. So if you're listening, I want you to take a deep breath, kind of slow down for a minute. I completely understand if you're folding laundry, you're driving in the carpool, you're sitting in a parking lot, maybe you're hiding in your bathroom or your pantry just to get a moment of quiet. I have been there and I understand. And so just take a second, pause, take your deep breath because today we are talking about something that gets thrown around a lot, but is often not done. It is often misunderstood, and that is self-care. And I think many times it is considered bougie. And I don't mean like a$300 spa weekend, spa day, but the real life, messy, tired. I still show up even when I'm empty version of yourself. And especially how do you do it without spending a lot of money? Because self-care is not a luxury, you guys. It is a necessity. So let's be real. Most of us don't skip self-care because we don't want it, but we skip it because there's no time, there's no energy, there's no money. And somewhere along the way, we were taught that taking care of ourselves is selfish. And this has been a hard one for me. And it's taken me a really long time to learn and implement self-care because I was always rushing and I thought I didn't have the money for self-care. And so it is something that I've tried really hard to implement. It's been a slow process, but at the end of the day, you cannot pour from an empty cup. And we were never meant to. So when you run on empty for too long, it shows up as constant exhaustion, irritability, feeling disconnected from yourself, losing patience with the people you love, and feeling like you are surviving instead of living. So self-care is not about escaping your life, but it's about having enough inside to live it well. So let's clear this up as far as what self-care is and isn't. Self-care is not just bubble baths and shopping. It's not a vacation that you can't afford or something you earn only when everything else is done. You've got to really stop to think, what is it for you? Because it's going to be different from person to person. But what restores you? What brings you joy? What grounds you? What helps you feel like yourself again? And I think a lot of times as the spouse, as the partner, as the primary parent, we just go, go, go, go, go, because that's all we know. And then when we really stop to think, okay, what is self-care for me? And what is going to restore me and what is going to bring me joy? And so sometimes that self-care is rest, it's movement, it's boundaries. It's saying no. It could be crying. And it's choosing yourself just for five minutes. And self-care is anything, anything that helps you feel more like you. So I want you to pause for a second and think, when is the last time that you actually did give yourself self-care? And what does that look like for you? What do you need to feel restored? What do you need to bring joy back into your life? And so here are some ways to take care of yourself that don't cost much or don't cost anything at all. So the first one is a five-minute reset. Literally set a timer and close your eyes, take a deep breath, no phones, no distraction, no noise, just stillness. And you don't need an hour, but you do need to be consistent. I started doing this with that app calm. And it's like mindfulness, it's meditation. You even have options to sleep better. But you guys, when I first started, five minutes felt like an eternity because I never take the time to just stop and sit and be quiet and really just kind of listen. And once I started doing that, it felt like so rejuvenating for me. And it was amazing what five minutes can do for you. So I highly, highly recommend you do the five-minute reset. The next is some sort of movement. When I'm in a real funk, it is amazing how just a walk can kind of just light me back up. So walk around the neighborhood, get on the treadmill. I know it's winter and kind of gloomy, but maybe getting out, if it is still a little bit sunny in your area, you could stretch, do some stretching or yoga. And movement really does change your mood and it's free. You guys, it doesn't have to cost you anything. And it's amazing how you can find so much now free on YouTube as far as workouts, yoga, stretching, Pilates. So your movement that would be the second thing. Third, a morning or night ritual. And I know for a fact most of us are wired to be thriving better on some sort of routine, some sort of schedule. So have this, but part of your morning or your night routine. Coffee and silence. A lot of times we're sitting scrolling mindlessly on our phone, or we've got the TV on or the radio on. But again, having that little bit of silence and reflection, I feel like is huge. Maybe you journal, maybe you sit down and you kind of talk about your feelings. Maybe it's a brain dump to kind of alleviate all of the stuff that you're thinking about in your mind. But journaling, I have a journal on my side table and I do like to write in it when I first wake up, but I especially like to write in it before I go to bed. So that way I can kind of get that stuff off my mind so I can hopefully sleep better. And it's been really, really helpful. Reading. Maybe read for a couple of pages in the morning in silence or in the evening or both. And sometimes it could be a morning reflection, it could be a gratitude. I know some people do like a little morning scripture or passage. And then I definitely do this. I light a candle and I light that candle while I am having coffee or if I am reading. And it just kind of sets my morning, kind of sets my mood. And so those tiny rituals, I think, bring you back to yourself and they help you feel a little bit calmer, grounded, and maybe giving you a little bit of clarity that you're not just hitting the ground, running, starting your to-dos, picking up your phone, and reading your email, that I think it makes a really big difference. And then for me, I love to do a connection check. And for that, it could be calling a friend. I talk to my mom every morning. So that definitely helps. You can send a voice memo if somebody is on a different schedule than you are. I know a lot of my friends use the Marco Polo app, which is kind of fun. But connection really is a big part of who we are. And I think sometimes when we get so busy that we kind of are to ourselves and we don't have those connections. And I feel like it's huge. Again, even if it's a 30-minute coffee to hear how somebody is doing or they can hear how you're doing, I think those little connection check-ins are really big. All right, here's another big one. So protecting your energy. And this is something that I have recently started to implement. It is still hard, it still takes effort. I still have to constantly remind myself. But the first one for protecting my energy is saying no. I am a huge, huge people pleaser and overcommit because I feel guilty. And so saying no, or even if I don't feel comfortable saying no right at that moment, I will say, you know what, let me check my schedule and I will get back to you. And that just gives you a little bit more time to one, actually check your schedule, two, figure out if it's something that you really want to commit to. And then three, getting the courage up to actually say no. But protecting your energy by maybe leaving early. You don't have to stay until an event is at the very end. I know that I go to bed early. So I'm usually the first one to leave from stuff. Not over-explaining. You do not have to rationalize your decisions, your reasons, why you're saying no, why you're leaving early. Let go of that. Let go of the guilt. A lot of times I was saying yes to things and committing to things because I felt bad. Again, I'm a recovering people pleaser. And so let go of that guilt and protect that energy. That is huge. And boundaries are free, yet they are very, very powerful as far as what they do for you and what they do for your mind, you know, as far as what you're able to give, your energy. So today, I just want you to choose one small act that you're gonna do as far as for caring for yourself, self-care. Do it today, not tomorrow, not next week, but today. Decide what that is, what it is that you need, and commit to it and then continue to do it after today because you don't have to disappear to be supportive, and you don't have to be empty to be strong, and you don't have to wait for permission to take care of yourself. So send me a message, tell me what that one small act is that you are going to implement today. I would love to hear, and I'm always here cheering you on. So please take a moment, give yourself self-care because we are holding up a lot as a physician partner, a physician spouse. And so please, please, please implement that self-care and know that I'm here rooting for you. Share this episode with somebody that you feel like maybe does need to stop for a minute, slow down, and implement self-care themselves. Until next time. That's a wrap on this episode of Behind the White Coat. I hope today's conversation left you feeling more understood and supported. If you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another physician spouse. Your support helps more of us to connect. Keep in mind this podcast is for you. So let's keep this conversation going. DM me on Instagram at Amanda Barron Realtor with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions. I would really love to hear from you. Thanks for spending part of your day with me, and remember, you are never in this alone. See you next time.