#53| The Male Physician Spouse Experience: Identity, Support, and Balance

We talk with Sean McIntyre about the male physician spouse experience and the real tension between supporting a partner in medical training while protecting your own identity. 

Sean shares what helped his family get through medical school, two kids, a cross-country move, and the early grind of family medicine residency without losing the parts of himself that keep him grounded.

• Meeting in college and walking through the full medical journey from pre-med to residency
• Raising two kids during medical school without nearby family support
• Using running as stress relief and a way to show up better at home and at work
• Finding balance in seasons and learning when to push the envelope on personal goals
• Practicing gratitude as a sanity strategy during demanding years
• Workplace misconceptions for male med spouses and advocating for equitable paternity leave
• Building community through spouse networks and hobby-based groups to prevent burnout

If you’d like to connect with Sean or learn more about his coaching, you can find him on Team RunRun website or follow him on Instagram. 

Please make sure you share this episode with somebody that you feel like may need to hear this, whether it's another spouse, a physician, but just somebody who needs some encouragement today. 

If you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe and leave a review. Your support helps more of us to connect. Keep in mind this podcast is for you. So, let's keep this conversation going. 

Connect with me on Instagram or email me at amanda@abtnhomes.com with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions.

Transcript

Welcome And Why Sean’s Here

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Behind the White Coat. I am your host, Amanda, and I am really excited for today's guest because we are talking about something that does not get enough attention, I feel like, in the physician spouse world, and that is the male med spouse perspective. And so my guest today, Sean McIntyre, is going to be joining us and discussing all types of things. Sean works full-time leading a finance team for a software company. He supported his wife through medical school training, now supporting her through residency while raising two young kids and somehow still trains and competes as a marathon and ultra-marathon runner and even coaches runners. But what really drew me to Sean's story is this he is incredibly honest about the tension between supporting your partner's dream and still protecting your own dreams and your own identity. Sean, welcome to today's show.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Thanks so much for having me on, Amanda. It's really an honor. And I've, you know, listened to a lot of your podcasts, and it's it's awesome to be able to relate to it. So thanks so much for having me on.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Yeah, no, I am honored first that you are listening. So thank you for supporting. Thank you for agreeing to be part of the show and to share your story. That's what this is all about. For all of us to have a platform to connect with one another, to relate to each other, and somehow through the process, still be able to help somebody else that may be listening, going through the same stories, same challenges, and family dynamics. So I really appreciate you taking the time to join us today.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Yeah, absolutely. I am very excited to get started.

Their Long Road Into Medicine

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah. So before I jump straight into our questions, tell us a little bit about your family, what that looks like. I feel like everybody likes to hear a little bit about the dynamics of family life plus the training or specialty of our spouses. So go ahead and share that with us.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Yeah, absolutely. So I've been on the medical journey for almost the whole time. And so I'll go back pretty far. My wife and I met on the first day of college at Northeastern University, which is in Boston. And we didn't start dating right away, but probably a little over a year later, we began dating right as she was transitioning to pre-med. So she came in as a business major. And then after our freshman year decided, hey, I'm gonna, you know, pursue this medicine thing that I've always been very passionate about. Now it was right around when I really tried to start push her to, you know, start a relationship, which was tough because she was very focused on the, you know, transitioning, you know, in into pre-med and all that stuff. So she was very busy. We eventually, about midway through our sophomore year, started dating. And so I've been through the MCAT, the application of medical school. She ended up getting her master's in public health at Dartmouth after undergrad. And then we went out to suburban Chicago for her medical school, Midwestern University out there. And yeah, while we were out there, we had two children. So right at the end of her her second year, and then about 15 months later, we had our daughter. So we have a boy and a girl. And Danielle, uh, my wife is super incredible. So I want to you know make sure I put that out there as well.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Give her a shout out for sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Because you know, having two two children during medical school, she didn't have to delay her graduation at all. Took board exams right after having our first son, and then had to take her second board exam early, right before she had our daughter. And so um, she's super incredible. And then so did that whole journey out in Illinois, no family nearby. Um, when we moved there, we knew like one person in the city at the time we moved out there. So that was, you know, navigating a lot of those things, you know, without family help, without a lot of, you know, necessarily friend support or friends that we knew beforehand. That was definitely a challenging experience. But then that brought us to Danielle matched in Rhode Island for her residency. So she's a family medicine resident, she's an intern here. And yeah, so it's been uh quite a blur in 2025 where we had to sell the house in Illinois, buy a new house here in Rhode Island. But yeah, that's a little bit about our family.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Yeah, no, thanks for sharing that. And you have definitely been through all of the challenges with her through this process and all of the ups and downs and not knowing people, needing community, starting all over, having young kiddos. So congrats to both of you because it's not easy and and you're doing it. So thanks for sharing that. Yeah, and I always love to get the inside scoop on okay, so you guys met in college, first day of of classes. So did you have a class together?

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Yeah, yeah. We had some classes together in our freshman year. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

And I always want to know who was the better student, who did better with grades, and were y'all competitive on your grades?

SPEAKER_01 5:19

She was definitely a better student than me and obviously still is. I just have, you know, the bachelor's degree. And like I mentioned, she's got the master's and now a doctorate. Yeah. She's always been better that way and definitely inspired me to have, you know, an even better work ethic. So I've always admired her for that because it it helps push me. And then on the flip side, you talked about, you know, I'm a competitive runner as well. I blame her for me getting into the competitive running scene because when we met, I did run a little bit of track, but she actually walked on to the division one team. So on top of everything else she was doing, she was a D1 runner as well.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

And so we were competitive in that too. And I was like, oh man, she's faster than I am. I need to really start training and getting better. And so during college and then after college, I started running a lot more, taking it a bit more seriously. So I like to joke that that's her fault that now I run these long distances because it began as me trying to get a little bit faster than her and then, you know, snowballed from there.

Running As Identity And Sanity

SPEAKER_00 6:17

I love that. And it sounds like there's really not much she can't do. She seems to be uh good at everything.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

She is, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

So I know you're juggling this demanding career, raising two young kids, supporting your wife through medical school and now residency, all while pursuing competitive running, like you just said. And so, how have you managed to maintain your personal passions while staying fully present, you know, for your family and working? I am by no means on the level that you are, but I have done marathons, I have done half marathons, and it is a huge commitment. And I feel like everything else goes to the wayside while I am training for that one particular run. But I know this is an ongoing thing for you. So, how do you kind of manage to maintain all of that?

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah, there's definitely, I think, a few different ways. And the first one is that it helps keep me sane and makes me a better person as well. It makes me a better father, partner, employee. So I think that it's a bit of a catch-22, right? Especially when you have young kids, because it it's a tiring thing to train for a marathon or or try and do long runs, hard workouts, things like that. But I feel like if I don't do that, I'm gonna be less productive, I'm gonna be less happy. And so it's like, then I'll have more time, right? Because I'm not training or trying to fit those runs in, but it's gonna have negative ramifications if I don't do it. And Danielle's kind of the same way where you know, if we don't get exercise, we're not as good a person as we normally are. So it's very important to kind of both our personalities. And then for me, it works as a kind of parenting or in the workplace. But for example, if I'm able to get a run-in before work, I sometimes kind of take that competitive mindset into life or into the workplace where it's like, hey, I'm starting this day having already run, you know, seven, eight miles, and you know, yeah, maybe not having slept that much, you know, the night before. And so sometimes that kind of helps me tackle the day. And again, that's not always possible, especially lately. I've I've not been running as much and not, you know, especially in the in the morning and things like that. But when when you maybe have the opportunity, it can really kind of help you tackle the day a bit better, whether that's parenting, your your job, whatever it might be.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

And then I think another way is I involve the kids all the time, bring them on stroller runs. We have a nice double stroller. There are weeks where that's 100% of my weekly mileage. And so that's you know, bringing them along, they get to be part of it. Um, we get to spend some more time together, or maybe it's even during a nap or something like that. But it it allows me to still get the exercise in that helps me be better, like I said. So that's a huge thing to kind of get comfortable with. And it's sometimes hard at the beginning, but if you you push through and get used to that, you get in the rhythm of getting them in the stroller or getting the stroller in the car or whatever it is, then it it helps make your life a little bit better. And kind of with that, trying not to hesitate. You know, if you have a 20-minute window to work out, you can't procrastinate, you can't kind of dawdle. It's like, all right, get out the door really quick, or we have a treadmill in the basement, you know, run down there and and hop on the treadmill fast because you definitely have less procrastination time when you've got one or two kiddos. So that's been another big one where there's no more of like, oh, do I want to run? Or, you know, that that that's the other big thing. And I think the last thing about trying to find the balance is you do have to push the envelope a little bit. And I'm still trying to find the balance of like your personal passions and then supporting your partner. I think I definitely have not always struck this balance perfectly, and it comes in seasons of sometimes it might feel a little uncomfortable where you're like, hey, I am gonna prioritize myself a little bit because this is important to me, and maybe I don't always have these opportunities. And I think that helps you keep your identity throughout this medical training process. Um, but then there's times where like I've probably gone a bit too far, not to the point where I'm, you know, I'm still doing a lot of parenting and those sorts of things, but like maybe I could have been a better partner for my wife during some of those times where it's like, hey, I spent a couple months gearing up for a big race. And so I think it it's important to push that envelope a bit so that you find what is the right balance, so that you're not always putting yourself beyond the white coat to use, you know, the the name of the podcast. I think that's one thing where I'm still trying to find that balance a bit, but but it's important to not always put yourself, you know, last.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah. And I would agree with all of the things that you had said. I think it's it's so important to find whatever that is for you as a de-stressor, for you, like you said, to show up as a better parent, a better spouse, a better employee, whatever that looks like. And I love that you nonchalantly said, you know, I'll get up and do seven, nine miles in the morning, which is far more than most people get in in a week. So I love that you just kind of threw that in. Or, you know, when I do go for a run, I'm definitely more of a run walker. I'll never forget I did a race and it was one that allowed people to actually push strollers in. I know sometimes they limit that, but this one did. And there was a man pushing a double stroller uphill, and he just sped right by me, like I was just standing still and definitely made me kind of reevaluate the shape I was in, and that I needed to probably focus, focus a little bit better. But I also love that you're like, even if it's 10 minutes, even if it's 20 minutes, that it's not about perfection, but it's about being intentional, intentional with the time you have, intentional with those goals that you have. I know you mentioned the same for your wife, getting that in for herself too, and how important that is. And I think having that communication between the two of you too. So that way when you were saying, you know, maybe I was focusing too much on this and wasn't present over here. But if if you guys have that open communication of I've got this race, here's what I'm focusing on, or she's like, hey, here's my schedule right now and it's crazy. I need you to help with that. I think that probably helps with that balance as well.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Yeah, absolutely. And yeah, I think it's been, you know, great to try and find that balance along the way. Running is great too, because it's it's it's so relative. So I know you talked about comparing yourself to, you know, the person in the race, but that's what I love about it too, is that it it's not always about competing. There's people so much faster than me, and and there are people that I'm faster than, but it's always really about trying to better your own times or just feel better about yourself. That's one thing that I love about it, because like most of the time I'm not going into a race necessarily to like compete against specific people, you know, not a professional runner. I still view it differently than than they would view a race.

Having Kids During Medical School

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Sure, sure. And you know, I did get into running earlier on, but part of it, not only for like you were saying, kind of like a stress reliever, but it was free. I didn't have money to join a gym. I didn't have, you know, to do these classes. So I was like, all right, you know, at least at least I can move. And it was free. So it it was kind of killing two birds with one stone. So so having children during medical school is something that many would consider almost impossible. I have a ton of people who ask these types of questions. When is the right time? And obviously it's going to be different for everyone. But can you share what that experience was like for you and your wife and what strategies helped you stay sane during these early years? I know your kiddos are still young, but during medical school and how you guys kind of came about making this decision for you personally and and the strategies that got you through it.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

Yeah. So in terms of like the lead up to how we, you know, decided and certainly had many of those conversations throughout a relationship and then entering medical school, I think one thing that helped is that Danielle and I, for a long time, were pretty much on the same page about very excited to have children. That was an important part of, you know, both our identities, and we definitely always envisioned that as we got older and with the partner we envisioned having. And then I think we were both also on the same page of wanting to do that earlier rather than later. It was helpful to be aligned there. But then obviously the discussion once she got into medical school was okay, doesn't seem like there's a great time, right? Or like, how do we how do we start thinking about that? Because maybe we would have done it even earlier without that. But we started having those conversations, like, all right, this doesn't seem like a good time. So we kind of put it off a little bit. But then, you know, once she was further along her first year of med school, we talked seriously about it and we're like, well, thinking about it, second year, third year, fourth year residency, there's not the right time. And so that was when we kind of decided we feel ready. Um, we're both excited about it. We could wait until maybe we're closer to family in residency, but we decided you never know what's gonna happen. Doctors do only get more stressed as well. In our case, where it's a little bit different than some others, right? She was the one having the children, so that's another consideration to have. But we just said, you know, we don't want to wait. It's never gonna be the perfect time, and we're very excited about this. And so I think the other gratifying part of that decision was as soon as our son was born, I definitely felt like, you know, my life completely changed for the better, where I was working remotely for all four years of Danielle's medical school. She's studying for long hours, she's at at school quite a bit, and so I'm sitting at home most days, didn't make quite as many friends when we moved out there. So I didn't necessarily have that that big community or even necessarily quite as much going on. Because of that, right, some days are going to be a little more mundane than others. You know, you just have a Monday where maybe you work a lot, and it's not that it's a terrible day, but maybe there's not too much going on. But then once we had our son every day was kind of so much more fulfilling, and it was it was just awesome to be able to spend so much time with him and have another you know friend in the house. So I think that was instantly, you know, life-changing and and and really affirming that we made the right decision. And in terms of you know, how did we stay sane and and those sort of strategies? One thing that helped me was the the gratitude. So I think that that definitely keeps you you pushing along and stay present in what what's happening. And and one way that I thought about that gratitude a lot was because I did work full-time and I work remotely, I was very grateful for that because I know that a lot of people that have come before me did not have that opportunity. If they were working full-time, that meant that they didn't see their their newborn as much or their infant and toddlers because they were going to the office five days a week for 40 hours a week or more. And I was able to spend so much time with them. You know, in the first year of his life, after I took medical leave or parental leave, we could only afford about 20 hours a week of child care. And so I covered pretty much the rest of that or a lot of it. Um, and then, you know, Danielle when she when she could. But that was just a lot of time that I got to spend, you know, with with our son. And that was, you know, really amazing. So I tried to always be grateful for that because I knew that, you know, people before and in weren't able to do that. And, you know, so he came along to Zoom meetings with me, or you know, I worked when he was napping, you know, that sort of thing where you know, you just make it work and just being able to spend so much of that first year of his life together was was was incredible.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Yeah. What a blessing. And, you know, for him to be your little sidekick. I my younger son was my sidekick for work. And so I do feel like that's such a blessing. However, I do think sometimes physician spouses struggle with that victim mentality or mindset as well, feeling like their own life or passions are secondary, whether it be because it is you are the primary parent now, or even if you don't have kids, you are still the one taking care of a lot of the other things. And so having that mindset shift, I think is so empowering. And I'm a huge gratitude person as well. And so I think hearing that and your thoughts through those situations, definitely not easy, but it's doable. And I think a lot of times that encourages others to kind of just take that leap of faith because, like you said, we can't predict anything, right? And so what is the right time is is always different for everyone. But my husband and I could have what if until the cows came home on finances or timing or being close to family. And so I love that. And I love that he came with you and was like your little sidekick.

Male Med Spouse Misconceptions

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it was it was just so nice to every day, even if I was working right, I could come downstairs, you get some water, a snack, and you know, you get to see him for those 20 hours. We had a nanny come to the house. And so again, super blessed to kind of have him always in the house for that first couple of years.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Yeah, yeah, I love that. So, as a male physician spouse, what are some unique challenges or misconceptions that you've encountered?

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Yeah, sure. So I think one is in the workplace where I think you do have to battle some of those perceptions of what is maybe more traditional or expected when a couple has a baby. So sometimes it that expectation could be like, again, like you said, I am the default parent for you know almost every scenario. Sometimes there's pushback around, like, oh well, why does Sean always have to do this, or you have to have this parenting obligation or whatever it is. And then when it comes to leave, you know, it's like, oh, well, you're not the one having the baby. There's those pushbacks as well. But in medical school, you don't, I mean, at least most schools, the one that that she attended, you don't get parental leave.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

I think one important thing that I would try to say to other male med spouses or just other males in in any part of the world who are in the workplace, is uh in the US, there's not great paternity leave policies. And so I think it's really important to always try and push back or negotiate where you can until some of those policies catch up. I think it's important for employees and and leaders within those companies to push back against those sorts of things so that it's at least equitable, you know, across the board. Because if a company's policy is better for maternity leave than paternity leave, that can actually just be hurting moms, right? Because in in those relationships, that just means that the man might be going back to work earlier on, and that leaves women at home, and that can increase that gap there as well. Or of course, if you have two men who are having a baby, you know, it feels discriminatory to to me in that in that case. And so that was one thing that I tried to do at my company at that time. They had a three-week maternity leave policy, and I was able to get it up to nine weeks.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

And and I'm very grateful they were supportive, but that did have to come from me pushing back and and and having those conversations. Um very grateful that they allowed me to do it. But that, you know, I told them I'm going to be the primary caretaker, even though I'm not the one having the child. For our our son, Danielle had to finish up her second year of med school and take a bunch of exams and then jump right into studying for her first board exam. And so that was the first 10 to 11 weeks of of his life. It was important to try and, you know, get some some leave there. So yeah, I would say always try and push back on on those sorts of things. And then it took me some time to lean into the med spouse community, I think. Like honestly, that during medical school, I didn't lean so much into it. And so I've loved listening to your podcast, but I didn't start listening to that until like I don't know, several months ago, but it was into our our first year of residency here. And so that's been amazing to relate on so many fronts. You know, even though again, I'm not the one that has to be pregnant or or birth children on almost everything else, it is super relatable. And so everything else is very similar. And I would say leaning into those communities is is great. Um and I found it very affirming recently to just maybe all those things that I was struggling to relate to friends with and and things like that, you know, found it very relatable and loved listening to your podcasts.

Community Burnout And Finding Outlets

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Thank you. That means the world to me. And if one of my episodes can connect with one person, I I feel um very fulfilled. So thank you for those kind words. And and I'm glad you shed some light on kind of pushing back. So I was able to stay home with our kids. But I wished, you know, hindsight, of course, being 2020, that my husband had pushed. So with our first son, I drove myself to the hospital to deliver him. And my husband had half a day, half a day. That was it. That was all he got. And then for our second kiddo, our oldest was two. And then we had our second one. And uh it was a high-risk emergency C-section type birth. And we had no family or anything here. And he had three days. Three days is what we got. And I thought three days was so great because it was compared to the half day. But, you know, looking back, we both were like, oh man, we would have done things so differently now. And I am so happy things are changing. But I agree with you. Definitely ask those questions, definitely try to push back and try to get some more. So I think that's a really good point. I also liked that you talked about leaning into a support system, whether it is a physician community, a physician spouse community. I do think leaning into that is huge. And so I would love to get your advice. Um, and I have asked other male spouses. And what I find is it's been really hard to get the involvement and the engagement. So we do have a community here that I have started. It is primarily females, of course. And I do have a handful of male spouses, but I get it. They don't want to be the one man that comes to the get together with all the women. And so trying to figure out how to get more involvement from these physician spouses that are males and try to figure out events that they would want to come to or they would want to organize. And so I'm just trying to figure out how to get better connections for them, get better support networks for them and more involvement for them. I just haven't figured it out yet. I haven't been able to tap into it. And if you don't have suggestions, totally fine. But I would love to just see if you have any thoughts on how I could grow that for them.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Yeah, I'll have to think about it a little bit more, like how you could do it in your area. But I mean, a couple of things. But one that I said before is I've just found it so relatable where it's like, oh, you might feel like, oh, there's not as many, at least vocal, you know, male med spouses, but it all has just felt like exactly what I've been feeling and thinking, um, experiencing. I've just found it very, very validating. So I would say, even if maybe that's a misconception where it's like, oh, well, it's different because I, you know, am not the one, I don't know, birthing the children, or just like you, you feel like it's a little bit different, but I I've found it drastically similar.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

Good to know. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

I've loved to kind of be parts of those communities. Um, you had a uh guest on Rachel not too long ago who introduced us, um, but she also has helped organize kind of an online support community as well that I have have been a part of. And so that was like again, me starting to lean into some of that online community and then yeah, listen to you know, podcasts like yours as well to lean into it a little bit more. I'd say the other thing is that being tough will only last so long. Medical training is is very long, no matter what specialty you do, especially if you're along for that whole journey. Like I've been, you know, you've got undergrad, the application process, medical school, residency fellowship, and beyond, you know, I haven't gotten to to those beyond times yet. Um, but it's already, you know, it feels long. You know, we're in that first year of residency. So yeah, I think I've definitely gotten burnt out. And I think if you just try and put up that toughness of, oh, I'm not gonna try and find that community or I can kind of do this alone, I think you will find that that will eventually not be enough. And that's that's what I'd found. I think I kind of grinded through the medical school part a little bit and and found myself at the end of that and and moving back to New England, found myself pretty burnt out. That will only get you so far. One thing I didn't mention or wasn't clear about earlier was it was nice when we came back for residency. We both grew up in Massachusetts. We're finally a bit closer to our family, they're all still in mass, but they're mostly within an hour, a little bit over an hour away, which is great. So, you know, not can't run down the street and see them, but it's much much closer. Much closer than a thousand miles over to Illinois, which is great. And the other thing I would say find that passion or hobby. That is a community that I've tried to lean into a bit more when we moved to Rhode Island. I did join the Rhode Island Track Club here, which has been awesome. So that was something I did much better in residency than in medical school, is I much more quickly joined that. Whereas my running community in Illinois, I found a few friends and met some people there who are awesome. So shout out to them. But I I didn't lean into it nearly as much. So whatever that is, you know, it's not running or exercise for everybody, but whatever that is, fine, find that passion or hobby. That can also be a really good place to build community and find that thing for you that is separate from the medical training.

Coaching Runners With A Full Life

SPEAKER_00 28:02

Yeah, yeah, your outlet. Well, speaking of running, I know with all the free time you don't have, you have also um gotten into coaching other runners. And so tell us a little bit about what that looks like, what coaching maybe has given back to you. And if someone's listening and they're like, oh, you know, I do want to improve my running, or maybe they want to start races or find their running community, what it actually looks like from a coaching perspective and to coach with you.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

The coaching has been awesome. It's really something I've started in earnest in like the past year or less than a year, really. So I coach seven runners and marathoners at the moment, but it it's something I would love to do full time. It doesn't really feel like work. It's a lot of fun to me and it's it's a little bit of extra money, but that's certainly not why I'm doing it because it's flexible. I don't have to like do it at specific times, right? I can do it at night after the kids have gone to sleep. I can do it during the day texting my athletes when I get a spare minute about how their workouts are going. But it's it's so much fun to help people develop and and hopefully bring them along a running journey for them, like I've found, where it it is, you know, allowed me to get through a lot of things and find a ton of enjoyment of you know, of improving and competing and you know, whatever that means for an individual. So yeah, I found it super rewarding. I did one year of coaching, like an assistant coach at my high school when I was in college. So that was a lot of fun as well. I love working with with younger athletes, you know, down the road would love to coach high school track, but for now, with my schedule, the one-on-one coaching is easier to do. And I've been loving it so far. And in terms of what that looks like with me, yeah, I work with very competitive athletes, kind of like Sub-Ellite, down to people literally trying to do their first marathon, they haven't even really run it all before. So I kind of coach a wide range there. So happy to to work with anybody, whether they're they've been running for a long time or or want to start doing it much more. And yeah, if there are any med partners out there that are are interested, would love, you know, happy to give discounts for sure. Because, you know, that I know the the struggle and and happy to to help along along the way.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Thank you. And so do they have to be local? Can they be anywhere for them to coach with you?

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Yeah, I coach it, it's it's mostly virtual. But yeah, my runners are all over the country. So yeah, they can be anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Awesome. And so as far as reaching out to you, would that be via social media? What's the best way for them to get in touch with you and get that discount if they happen to reach out after listening to the podcast?

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Yeah, Instagram is is always great. My coaching link is on there as well, but I can send along that specific link to you. Um you can post that in the show notes and then my my Instagram handle, you can post that there as well. Very quick to respond to messages there. And as long as they mention that their event partner mentioned the podcast, happy to offer discounts for that.

Rapid Fire Runner Habits

SPEAKER_00 31:05

So kind. Thank you for doing that. Maybe I'll be uh getting some running tips from you. I'm I'm a run walker, and as I have aged, I definitely need some assistance in that. So we're getting here towards the end. I do have some rapid fire questions that I'm gonna ask you just really quick, what comes to mind? And then obviously, what I end the podcast with my last two questions, but we're gonna do the rapid fire first. So just really fast, what is your pre-run meal? Do you have something specific you eat before you run?

SPEAKER_01 31:36

I think mornings, I'd say oatmeal a lot of times with like, you know, maybe granola and peanut butter. That's a pretty good go-to before morning runs.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

And then how about post?

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Post run. I mean, I don't do it often, but like if I can do a post-run pancakes, that's uh that's pretty great.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

Oh, that that sounds good. So are you music? Are you silence when you're running? Is it a book? Is it a podcast? What are you listening to?

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Good question. Yeah. Most people are horrified to know that I do not listen to music when running.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

Anything?

SPEAKER_01 32:07

No, I I love the meditative aspect of it. I like that time to myself. Because again, yeah, with you know, two toddlers and working all day, don't get a lot of that time to myself. So if I can get out into the world for a run, I love being outside and and and being present.

Advice To Younger Self

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Yeah. And and I will say, you know, I have done some walks and some runs without headphones or anything. And I it does give me probably some of my best time to think and reflect. The only thing is, I don't ever have something to like write my thoughts down on. It's almost like I don't want to, you know, forget something. So I have to give myself like some voice notes or something because it's like, man, that was such a good idea, but now I forget it. Well, um, Sean, I will make sure to to put all of your information in our show notes for everyone. And we are down here to the last two final questions. The first one, what advice would you offer to your younger self?

SPEAKER_01 33:06

Yeah, I think for me, I talked about it a little bit, but when we were in Illinois for medical school, I would I would try and find more community there because I think that I would have enjoyed myself during medical school a little bit more. I made a few friends when I was there and they were amazing, but I didn't have a large community, I would say. And I think that also led to me kind of being burnt out once we, you know, began residency. So it kind of had that domino effect. So I think I would have enjoyed that time more and it would have made this transition easier.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Yeah, no, I I agree. And I think that's a a really good piece of advice because I think a lot of times we're just in survival mode, you know, head down and we're just trudging through it. But we also need that support and we also need to be living and not just surviving. And I think that support system definitely helps with that. So I think that's great advice. And then the last question for fun is if your life were a reality TV show, what would the title be?

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Do you watch the show Below Deck?

SPEAKER_00 34:06

I have seen it actually, um, about maybe twice. So yes, I I know the exact one you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

I think I would call it below Dio. Um my wife, my wife is a doctor of osteopathy. So those are the initials for those physicians. So yeah, I think that's a good one. It's similar to the name of your podcast, but it's kind of like the outside of it is like, oh, people think, oh, your wife's a doctor. That must be incredible, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, well, behind the scenes, you have the stews doing everything, cleaning everything, attending to the guests, and the the chef working and the deck.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

All the yucky stuff.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Yep. Um, so it's kind of like on the outside, it looks like a yachting experience, but it's, you know, quite the opposite when you go behind the scenes.

Final Takeaways And Listener Requests

SPEAKER_00 34:52

The dingy inside, right? No, I think those are great titles. So thank you. And Sean, thanks just for being here, being honest and generous with your time, sharing your story. And I think your perspective also reminds us that physician families don't survive because one person sacrifices everything. They thrive when both partners are allowed to grow and find what brings them joy. And so for anyone listening who feels exhausted, unseen, or maybe you have lost yourself, maybe you don't have the support system that you need. I hope that this conversation reminds you that you aren't in it alone and that we do see you, we do understand. And so please make sure you share this episode with somebody that you feel like may need to hear this, whether it's another spouse, a physician, but just somebody who needs some encouragement today. And if you feel that this resonated with you, we would love for you to leave a comment or a five-star review. And Sean, thank you again for just spending your time with us today.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Yeah, thank you so much for having me, man.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Absolutely. And for all of our listeners, you know the drill. Until next time. That's a wrap on this episode of Behind the White Coat. I hope today's conversation left you feeling more understood and supported. And if you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another physician spouse. Your support helps more of us to connect. Keep in mind this podcast is for you. So let's keep this conversation going. DM me on Instagram at Amanda Barron Realtor with your thoughts, topic ideas, questions, or even guest suggestions. I would really love to hear from you. Thanks for spending part of your day with me, and remember, you are never in this alone. See you next time.