Executive Presence: Why Authenticity Beats Performance | Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide Ep 18

🎯 Stop performing your way through your career! If you're a trauma survivor who's mastered the art of "executive presence" but feel completely disconnected from your authentic self, this episode will change everything.

What You'll Learn:
✅ Why traditional executive presence advice is retraumatizing for trauma survivors
✅ The 3 trauma-informed shifts that create authentic leadership presence
✅ How to leverage emotional intelligence as your professional superpower
✅ Strategic authenticity: being real without oversharing
✅ Why vulnerability creates stronger leadership than performance

The 3 Game-Changing Shifts:

Shift #1: From performing confidence → embodying radical honesty
Shift #2: From suppressing emotions → leveraging emotional intelligence
Shift #3: From dominating conversations → creating psychological safety

The Truth Bomb: The most magnetic leaders aren't the ones who have all the answers - they're the ones who can say "I don't know" with confidence and commit to finding solutions.

Your trauma recovery has given you incredible emotional intelligence, problem-solving skills, and the ability to create safety for others. These aren't weaknesses to hide - they're leadership superpowers to leverage strategically.

🔗 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

8-Week Trauma-Informed Leadership Intensive waitlist: https://resilientcareeracademy.myflodesk.com/tileadershipintensivewaitlist
Resilient Career Academy: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com/rcalearningcommunity

📝 CONNECT WITH CYNDI:

Website: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndi-bennett-mba-m-ed-ctrc-bab95817/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/resilient_career_academy/


🎧 SUBSCRIBE & FOLLOW:
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New episodes every Tuesday 🎙️

When you're ready, here are 3 ways I can help you grow your career journey:

1. Free trauma-informed career development resources from my website! Visit https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com for always up-to-date tips.
2. Ready to build a fulfilling career with trauma-informed support? Join The Resilient Career Academy Learning Community, where trauma survivors support each other, share resources, and develop career resilience in a safe, understanding environment
3. Ready for personalized trauma-informed career coaching? Explore my range of virtual coaching packages designed for different stages of your career journey. Visit my website to find the right support for where you are now. [Visit my website: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com/1-on-1-coaching]

DISCLOSURE: Some links I share might contain resources that you might find helpful. Whenever possible I use referral links, which means if you click any of the links in this video or description and make a purchase we may receive a small commission or other compensation at no cost to you.

Transcript

The Executive Presence Paradox: Why Authenticity Beats Performance | Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide Ep 18

Cyndi Bennett: [00:00:00] What if I told you that everything you've been taught about executive presence is not only wrong for trauma survivors, but it's actually keeping you stuck in cycles of exhaustion and inauthenticity. If you're a trauma survivor who's been told you need to fake it till you make it or command the room to advance your career.

This episode is going to challenge everything you think you know about professional presence. I'm talking to those of you who've mastered the art of masking at work, who show up perfectly polished on the outside while feeling completely disconnected from who you really are. Maybe you've been promoted based on your ability to perform confidence, but you're burning out from the constant energy it takes to maintain that facade.

Here's what you'll discover in the next 20 minutes: why traditional executive presence advice doesn't work for trauma survivors, [00:01:00] how authenticity creates more sustainable and magnetic leadership than performance ever could, and the three trauma-informed shifts that will transform how you show up professionally.

I am Cyndi Bennett, a trauma survivor who spent years performing my way up the corporate ladder until I crashed and burned. Now as a trauma informed career coach and founder of the Resilient Career Academy, I help trauma survivors like you build careers that honor both your ambition, and your healing journey.

Without these insights, you'll keep exhausting yourself trying to be someone you're not wondering why success feels so empty and missing out on the kind of leadership presence that actually changes cultures and creates lasting impact. 

Did you know that trauma impacts how we navigate our careers? But most career advice ignores this reality. Imagine feeling confident and safe at work while [00:02:00] honoring your healing journey. Welcome to Your Trauma Wise Career Guide, the podcast that reimagines, career development for trauma survivors. I'm your host, Cyndi Bennett, a trauma survivor, turned trauma-informed career coach and founder of the Resilient Career Academy.

If you're navigating your career. While honoring your healing journey, you are in the right place.

Let's start with a story that might sound familiar. I was talking to a friend of mine who happens to be a trauma survivor. Let's call her Sarah. She's a director at a tech company who had perfected what she called her "work persona."

She spoke with authority in meetings, never showed vulnerability, and had trained herself to appear confident even when her nervous system was activated. Everyone saw Sarah as having incredible executive presence. She got promoted. She got raises. She got recognition.

But Sarah [00:03:00] was dying inside. She told me, I feel like I'm performing my life instead of living it. I'm successful on paper, but I don't even know who I am anymore.

This is the executive presence paradox that trauma survivors face. We become so good at performing confidence and authority that we lose touch with our authentic selves. And here's the kicker, that performance is exhausting and ultimately unsustainable.

Traditional executive presence training teaches us to project confidence even when we don't feel it, control our emotions and never show vulnerability, command attention and dominate conversations, maintain perfect composure under pressure. But for trauma survivors, this approach is not just ineffective, it's retraumatizing.

It asks us to disconnect from our bodies, suppress our emotional awareness, [00:04:00] and essentially gaslight ourselves about our internal experience. Here's what I've learned through my own journey in working with hundreds of trauma survivors. Authentic executive presence isn't about performing confidence, it's about embodying your truth in a way that creates safety and inspiration for others.

Let me share the three trauma-informed shifts that changed everything for Sarah and can transform your professional presence too. Shift number one, from performing confidence to embodying honesty. Instead of projecting false confidence, authentic executive presence means being honest about what you know and what you don't know. It means saying, I need to think about that instead of making something up. It means acknowledging when you're learning or when you've made a mistake.

Sarah started saying things like, that's a great question. Let me research [00:05:00] that and get back to you with a thoughtful response instead of diminishing her authority, this honesty actually increased people's trust in her judgment.

Shift number two, from suppressing emotions to leveraging emotional intelligence. Your trauma recovery has given you a superpower that most executives lack, deep emotional intelligence. Instead of hiding this authentic executive presence means using your emotional awareness strategically.

Sarah learned to say things like, "I'm sensing some frustration in the room about this decision. Can we pause and address concerns before moving forward?" Her ability to read and respond to emotional dynamics made her meetings more productive and her team more loyal.

Shift number three, from dominating conversations to creating psychological safety. Traditional executive [00:06:00] presence is about commanding attention. Authentic executive presence is about creating space where the best ideas can emerge. Your trauma recovery has taught you about safety, now you can create that for others.

Sarah started asking more questions, creating space for quieter voices, and acknowledging when she was wrong. Her team's innovation increased dramatically because people felt safe to take risks and share ideas.

But here's where it gets tricky, and this is the new problem that emerges when you start showing up authentically. How do you be vulnerable and honest without oversharing or compromising your professional boundaries?

Because there's a difference between authentic executive presence and trauma dumping in a board meeting. There's a difference between emotional intelligence and taking on everyone else's feelings as your [00:07:00] responsibility.

This is where most trauma survivors get stuck. They either swing too far toward performance mode, or they overcorrect and share too much too fast with people who haven't earned that level of trust.

The key is learning what I call strategic authenticity, being real and honest while maintaining appropriate professional boundaries. It's about sharing your humanity without sharing your history. It's about being vulnerable about challenges while demonstrating how you're addressing them.

So we've talked about moving from performed confidence to authentic presence through honesty, emotional intelligence, and creating safety for others. We've also identified the new challenge of learning strategic authenticity, how to be real without oversharing.

But here's what I've learned working with trauma survivors, [00:08:00] knowing these concepts intellectually is very different from actually embodying them in high stakes professional situations. It's one thing to understand that authenticity beats performance, and it's another thing entirely to show up authentically when you're triggered in a meeting with senior leadership, or when you're giving a presentation to potential investors, or when you're having a difficult conversation with someone on your team.

This kind of transformation requires more than just understanding, it requires practice, community, and trauma-informed support as you develop these new neural pathways and professional habits. If you're ready to stop performing your career and start embodying your authentic leadership presence, I want to invite you to explore our eight week trauma-informed leadership intensive.

This program is specifically designed for trauma survivors who are ready [00:09:00] to develop executive presence that honors the healing journey while creating real impact . You'll learn practical tools for managing triggers in high stakes professional environments and situations. Develop your unique, authentic leadership style that leverages your trauma, wisdom, and practice these skills with other trauma survivors who understand your journey.

Plus, you'll get personalized feedback and coaching as you integrate these new approaches into your real world professional challenges. You can learn more and apply at cyndibennettconsulting.com. I will put the link in the show notes. Our next intensive starts soon, and we have payment plans available because I believe every trauma survivor deserves access to leadership development that actually works for them.

Without this kind of targeted support, you'll likely continue the exhausting cycle of performing your way through your career, wondering why success feels [00:10:00] so empty and missing out on the kind of leadership impacts that come from showing up as your whole authentic self.

And before you go, here's something that might surprise you. The most magnetic leaders I know are the ones who have learned to say, "I don't know" with confidence. When someone admits they don't have all the answers, but they're committed to finding them.

Don't you trust them more than someone who pretends to know everything? Your trauma recovery has taught you that healing happens in connection, not perfection. The same is true for leadership. The leaders who change cultures and create lasting impact are the ones brave enough to be human in professional spaces.

Your authenticity isn't a liability in your career. It's your secret weapon. Use it wisely.

You're not walking this path alone. Every [00:11:00] step you take toward a trauma wise career is an act of courage, and I'm here cheering you on. If today's episode resonated with you, share it with another survivor who needs to hear this message. Together we're rewriting the rules of career success. Keep rising, keep healing, keep building.