Why Performance Reviews Trigger Trauma Responses | Your Trauma Wise Career Guide Ep 36

Traditional performance management wasn't designed for the 61% of employees who've experienced trauma. In this episode, we explore why annual reviews, feedback sandwiches, and stretch goals often backfire with trauma survivors - and what trauma-informed performance management looks like instead.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Hook: Why performance reviews trigger trauma responses
01:30 - The hidden trauma-performance connection
03:45 - Why traditional approaches backfire
03:45 - #1: The annual review trap
06:00 - #2: The feedback sandwich fallacy
07:00 - #3: The stretch goal problem
07:30 - #4: One-size-fits-all metrics
08:00 - What trauma-informed performance management looks like
09:00 - Principle 1: Predictable, frequent connection
10:00 - Principle 2: Strength-based development
11:00 - Principle 3: Collaborative goal setting
12:00 - What this looks like in practice
14:00 - The business case (statistics)
16:00 - What you can do today
17:30 - Call to action & resources
You'll learn about:

The hidden trauma-performance connection that managers miss
Why self-evaluations create impossible double-binds for trauma survivors
The business case for trauma-informed approaches (43% reduction in turnover)

Practical alternatives that improve outcomes for everyone

Whether you're managing a team or navigating performance reviews yourself, this episode reveals how to create conditions where everyone can perform at their best.

Download the Trauma-Informed Management Quick Reference Guide: https://resilientcareeracademy.myflodesk.com/timqrg

When you're ready, here are 3 ways I can help you grow your career journey:

1. Free trauma-informed career development resources from my website! Visit https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com for always up-to-date tips.
2. Ready to build a fulfilling career with trauma-informed support? Join The Resilient Career Academy Learning Community, where trauma survivors support each other, share resources, and develop career resilience in a safe, understanding environment
3. Ready for personalized trauma-informed career coaching? Explore my range of virtual coaching packages designed for different stages of your career journey. Visit my website to find the right support for where you are now. [Visit my website: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com/1-on-1-coaching]

DISCLOSURE: Some links I share might contain resources that you might find helpful. Whenever possible I use referral links, which means if you click any of the links in this video or description and make a purchase we may receive a small commission or other compensation at no cost to you.

Transcript

Why Performance Reviews Trigger Trauma Responses | Your Trauma Wise Career Guide Ep 36

Cyndi: [00:00:00] You know that sinking feeling when you get the calendar invite for your annual performance review? For trauma survivors, that's not just nervousness, it's their nervous system detecting danger. Today we're talking about why traditional performance management fails the majority of your workforce, and what actually works instead.

Did you know that trauma impacts how we navigate our careers, but most career advice ignores this reality? Imagine feeling confident and safe at work while honoring your healing journey. Welcome to Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide, the podcast that reimagines career development for trauma survivors. I'm your host, Cyndi Bennett, a trauma survivor turned trauma informed career coach and founder of the Resilient Career Academy. If you're navigating your career while honoring your healing journey, you are in the right [00:01:00] place.

Welcome to Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide. I'm Cyndi Bennett, and I help trauma survivors transform their experiences into professional strengths.

Here's something that might surprise you... 61% of adults have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience. Add in workplace trauma, medical trauma, relationship trauma-- and you're looking at the majority of your workforce having trauma histories.

Yet our performance management systems? They were designed for people without trauma, without life challenges, without the very real ways that our nervous system responds to stress and evaluation.

And here's what's wild-- when performance starts slipping, when someone becomes defensive about feedback, when a reliable employee suddenly can't handle criticism-- we label it as attitude problems, lack of [00:02:00] motivation, or poor work ethic.

But what if it's actually an intelligent response to a system that activates trauma responses? What if the issue isn't the employee-- it's the approach?

Today we're going to unpack why traditional performance management actively harms trauma survivors, how to recognize when your systems are causing problems, and most importantly, what trauma-informed performance management actually looks like in practice.

Let me paint you a picture. You've got Jamie on your team-- talented marketing specialist, been with you for two years. Six months ago? Crushing every deadline, contributing innovative ideas, seem destined for promotion. But lately things have shifted. Missed deadlines. Defensive responses to feedback. Quality slipping. The "obvious" solution feels like progressive discipline [00:03:00] or a performance improvement plan, right?

But here's what most managers don't see: trauma responses show up as everyday workplace behaviors. They get completely mislabeled.

Think about the perfectionist working 60 hour weeks. Who can't delegate? We call them a control freak. But past experiences taught them that others' mistakes reflect on their worth. So delegation feels genuinely dangerous.

Or the quiet contributor who stops speaking up in meetings. We say they're not engaged. But maybe a previous manager publicly criticized their ideas, and their nervous system remembers that speaking up equals humiliation.

What about the inconsistent performer whose work quality fluctuates? We call it unreliable. But their performance directly correlates with their nervous system regulation-- [00:04:00] some days they're firing on all cylinders, other days they're using all their energy just to stay regulated.

And that defensive team member who perceives neutral feedback as personal attacks? They're not difficult-- they're responding to authority figures based on past experiences where authority meant harm.

Traditional performance management treats these as character flaws. Trauma-informed performance management recognizes them as intelligent adaptations to difficult experiences-- and works with them, not against them.

Let me walk you through four major ways traditional performance management actively harms trauma survivors.

First, the annual review trap. I still remember the physical sensation when that email notification appeared: "Complete Your Self-Evaluation for [00:05:00] Year-End Performance Review."

My stomach dropped. My chest tightened.

Not only did I have to face evaluation from my manager, but first I had to rate myself. Assign numbers to my own worth. Justify my existence at the company. Walk the impossible line between seeming arrogant and appearing incompetent.

I spent hours agonizing over each rating box. Should I rate myself lower so I seem humble? Higher so I don't undervalue myself? What if my manager disagrees?

This wasn't laziness or a lack of professionalism-- this was my trauma-informed brain interpreting "rate your own performance" as an impossible trap where every answer felt dangerous.

Here's why this fails: surprise feedback activates fight or flight responses. Numerical ratings feel dehumanizing. [00:06:00] Self-evaluations create double binds for people struggling with imposter syndrome. Annual timelines don't account for trauma recovery's non-linear nature.

And the real impact? Instead of motivation, you get defensive walls, increased anxiety, and sometimes a complete shutdown.

Your trauma surviving team members may start job hunting the moment they receive that calendar invitation.

Second, the feedback sandwich fallacy. You know this one-- compliment, criticism, compliment. We think we're softening the blow of negative feedback.

But trauma survivors become hypervigilant to the "real message." They dismiss the positive feedback as manipulation and hear only the criticism. They spend energy trying to decode what you "really mean." The result? Trust erodes because it feels inauthentic. The positive feedback loses [00:07:00] all meaning, and the criticism becomes magnified in their minds.

Third, the stretch goal problem. We love stretch goals in traditional management. Push people outside their comfort zones to drive high performance.

But for someone whose nervous system is already managing stress responses? "Stretch goals" feel like impossible demands. Their trauma-informed brain interprets high expectations as potential threats to safety and belonging.

Instead of inspiring peak performance, you trigger overwhelm, perfectionism, or complete avoidance. You lose good people who assume they can't cut it. 

Fourth, the one size fits all metrics mistake. Standard productivity metrics applied uniformly across all team members sounds fair, right? Except trauma affects cognitive functioning, energy levels, and emotional regulation differently for [00:08:00] different people. Expecting identical output patterns ignores how trauma responses impact work capacity.

High performing trauma survivors burn out trying to meet neurotypical productivity standards. Others disengage entirely, believing they're fundamentally inadequate.

So if traditional approaches are causing all this harm, what's the alternative?

I want to be clear about something: trauma-informed performance management isn't about lowering standards or making excuses. It's about creating conditions where everyone can perform at their absolute best.

And here's the surprise-- these approaches don't just help trauma survivors. They improve performance across your entire team.

Let me walk you through what this actually looks like.

Principle one: predictable, frequent connection over surprise [00:09:00] evaluation. Instead of annual reviews with months of silence between feedback, try regular brief check-ins. I'm talking weekly 15-minute conversations focused on support and course correction.

Why does this work? Predictability helps regulate nervous systems. Frequent, low-stakes conversations prevent issues from building up and make feedback feel collaborative rather than punitive.

Here's what this sounds like: "let's meet for 15 minutes every Tuesday. I'll ask how things are going, what support you need, and share any observations I have. No surprises, no formal ratings-- just ongoing partnership."

Notice that language? "Partnership." That's key. We're moving from evaluation to collaboration.

Principle two: strength-based development over deficit [00:10:00] fixing. Traditional approaches focus primarily on weaknesses and improvement areas. We are taught to identify gaps and fix them. But trauma survivors often have exceptional skills developed THROUGH their experiences. Emotional intelligence. Crisis management. Attention to detail. Pattern recognition.

Building on strengths creates confidence to tackle challenges. So instead of saying, "you need to improve your deadline management," try: " your ability to anticipate potential problems has saved our team multiple times. How can we use that strategic thinking in your project planning to address the deadline challenges we've been facing?"

See the difference? You're acknowledging their existing strength and connecting it to the growth area. You're not saying they're broken-- you're saying they already have the tools that can help them succeed.

Principle number three: collaborative goal [00:11:00] setting over top down targets. This is huge. Choice and control are essential for trauma survivors. When they participate in setting their own goals, they're more likely to achieve them because the goals feel safe and achievable.

Instead of imposing objectives and key results, try: "what do you think is realistic for you to accomplish this quarter, given everything you're managing? Let's build a plan that sets you up for success, not stress."

This naturally incorporates flexible accommodations and growth focused language into the process. And here's what's powerful-- you're treating your team member as the expert on their own capacity. Because they are.

Now I can hear some of you thinking: "but what about accountability? What if they set goals that are too easy?"

Here's the thing-- in my experience, when people feel safe and supported, they actually [00:12:00] set HIGHER goals for themselves than we would impose. Because they're not using energy to defend against threat-- they're using that energy for growth.

Now, what does this look like in practice? 

Let me show you the pattern I see play out repeatedly. Someone who's been a solid performer starts showing anxiety and making uncharacteristic errors after their company implements a new performance rating system. The traditional response? Performance improvement plan with deficit focused feedback and increased monitoring. Which, by the way, typically makes the anxiety worse and performance declines further.

A trauma-informed approach instead focuses on: first, regular check-ins to understand what's happening. Not interrogation-- genuine curiosity about their experience. Second, collaborative problem-solving. " What would help you feel more confident with this new system?" Third, [00:13:00] strength acknowledgement. "Your attention to detail has always been exceptional. What do you think might be getting in the way of accessing that skill right now?" And fourth, flexible accommodations during high stress periods. Maybe they need to work from home during the transition. Maybe they need to adjust their project load temporarily. And fifth, growth-focused language. Not "you're making too many errors" but "let's figure out how to get you back to the level of work you're capable of."

What I've observed consistently? Performance typically returns to previous levels within a couple of months, and trust in leadership remains intact.

Compare that to the traditional approach where you often lose good people entirely-- either because they quit or because the relationship damage is irreparable.

Now let's talk about numbers because I know some of you are thinking: "this sounds nice, [00:14:00] but is it practical?"

Organizations implementing trauma-informed performance approaches report: 43% reduction in turnover among employees with trauma histories. 38% increase in employee engagement scores across all demographics. 52% improvement in team psychological safety measures. 29% increase in innovation metrics as people feel safer to take creative risks.

Let me read those numbers again. 43% reduction in turnover among employees with trauma histories. 38% increase in employee engagement scores across all demographics. 52% improvement in team psychological safety measures 29% increase in innovation metrics as people feel safer to take creative risks.

These aren't marginal [00:15:00] improvements-- these are transformational outcomes.

And here's what really matters: these approaches don't just help trauma survivors. They improve performance for everyone. Think about it. Does ANYONE actually enjoy surprise annual reviews? Does ANYONE perform better when you only focus on their deficits? Does ANYONE feel motivated by goals they had no say in setting.

Predictable feedback, strength-based development, and collaborative goal setting create better outcomes across the board. We've been doing performance management wrong for everyone. We just notice it most with trauma survivors because their nervous systems are more sensitive to threat cues.

So what can you actually do with this information?

If you're a manager: start with one person. Pick someone on your team you're concerned about and [00:16:00] try weekly 15-minute check-ins for a month. Just ask: "how are things going? What support do you need?" And share observations in real-time. Watch what happens.

If you're an HR professional: look at your performance review process and ask: where are the surprise elements? Where are we imposing rather than collaborating? What would it look like to make this more predictable and partnership based?

If you're someone navigating performance reviews yourself: you can request regular check-ins with your manager. You can ask for collaborative goal setting. You can advocate for the approaches that help you perform at your best.

And here's something important: if you're in a system that won't budge, that's information. Some organizations aren't ready for this shift. And that might mean finding an environment where [00:17:00] you CAN thrive.

The goal isn't to fit yourself into a broken system. It's to find or create systems that work with your whole humanity.

Traditional performance management was designed for a workforce that doesn't exist-- people without trauma histories, life challenges, or individual differences.

Your actual team deserves approaches that work with their whole humanity, not against it.

That's why I created the Trauma-Informed Management Quick Reference Guide. This isn't theory-- it's practical, implementable strategies you can use starting today.

Inside, you'll get the complete weekly check-in framework with actual conversation scripts you can use. A trauma-informed feedback formula that builds trust instead of defensiveness. Collaborative goal setting questions that account for individual capacity. Accommodation strategies [00:18:00] that boost performance across your entire team. Red flag recognition guides so you know when traditional approaches are causing harm. And documentation templates that focus on growth and support.

This isn't about lowering standards-- it's about raising them by creating conditions where everyone can perform at their best. You'll get research back strategies that improve outcomes for trauma survivors and non-trauma survivors alike.

The link is in the show notes.

Your team members didn't choose their trauma histories, but you can choose how you respond to them. Make that choice one that unlocks potential instead of limiting it.

Thanks for listening to Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide. If this resonated with you, share it with a manager or HR professional who needs to hear it. And remember, your trauma informed insights aren't obstacles to overcome. There are advantages waiting to [00:19:00] be leveraged. I'll see you next time.

You're not walking this path alone. Every step you take toward a trauma-wise career is an act of courage, and I'm here cheering you on. If today's episode resonated with you, share it with another survivor who needs to hear this message. Together we're rewriting the rules of career success. Keep rising, keep healing, keep building.