When the World Celebrates and You Clock In | Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide Ep 37

If you're heading into work while everyone else is opening presents or sitting down to holiday meals, this episode is for you. We're talking about the invisible weight shift workers carry during the holidays—and why it's completely valid whether you're missing celebrations you wish you could attend OR feeling relieved to have a legitimate reason to skip triggering family dynamics.

I'm breaking down what makes holiday shift work particularly challenging for trauma survivors, how to create meaningful moments on your own terms, and the professional strengths you're building (even if it doesn't feel like it right now). This isn't toxic positivity—it's real talk about navigating work when the rest of the world is celebrating.

Timestamps:
00:00 - Hook: You're not alone in working while others rest
00:07 - Introduction: What we're covering today
02:00 - The invisible weight shift workers carry
05:30 - The double-edged reality (grief AND relief)
09:00 - What you're building (whether you realize it or not)
12:30 - Creating your own meaningful moments
16:00 - Building sustainable patterns for your well-being
18:30 - Closing & call to action

What You'll Explore:

* Why shift work during holidays hits differently for trauma survivors
* The double-edged reality of missing celebrations (grief AND relief)
* Developing personalized regulation strategies for holiday shifts
* Creating alternative rituals that honor your reality
* Translating shift work resilience into career advancement

Whether you're in healthcare, hospitality, emergency services, retail, or any role that keeps you working when others rest—you're not alone, and your experience matters.

Resources mentioned:

Discovery call booking: https://calendly.com/cyndibennettconsulting/30min

When you're ready, here are 3 ways I can help you grow your career journey:

1. Free trauma-informed career development resources from my website! Visit https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com for always up-to-date tips.
2. Ready to build a fulfilling career with trauma-informed support? Join The Resilient Career Academy Learning Community, where trauma survivors support each other, share resources, and develop career resilience in a safe, understanding environment
3. Ready for personalized trauma-informed career coaching? Explore my range of virtual coaching packages designed for different stages of your career journey. Visit my website to find the right support for where you are now. [Visit my website: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com/1-on-1-coaching]

DISCLOSURE: Some links I share might contain resources that you might find helpful. Whenever possible I use referral links, which means if you click any of the links in this video or description and make a purchase we may receive a small commission or other compensation at no cost to you.

Transcript

When the World Celebrates and You Clock In | Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide Ep 37

Cyndi: [00:00:00] If you're listening to this between shifts, during a break, or right before heading into work, while everyone else is opening presents-- I see you. And whatever you're feeling about working through the holidays, whether it's sadness about missing celebrations or relief about having a reason to skip them is completely valid.

Did you know that trauma impacts how we navigate our careers, but most career advice ignores this reality? Imagine feeling confident and safe at work while honoring your healing journey. Welcome to Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide, the podcast that reimagines career development for trauma survivors. I'm your host, Cyndi Bennett, a trauma survivor turned trauma-informed career coach and founder of the Resilient Career Academy. If you're navigating your career while honoring your healing journey, you are in the right place.

Welcome [00:01:00] to Your Trauma-Wise Career Guide. I'm Cyndi Bennett, and today's episode is a little different. We're in the thick of the holiday season, and I know many of you are working while the rest of the world seems to be celebrating. I wanted to create something specifically for you-- whether you're listening on your commute, during a break, or in those quiet moments before your shift starts.

Here's what we're going to cover: We're going to talk about the invisible weight shift workers carry, especially during the holidays. We're going to explore why this might feel particularly hard if you're also healing from trauma. And I'm going to offer you some reframing-- not toxic positivity, but a different way of understanding what you're navigating-- along with some practical strategies for creating meaningful moments on your own terms.

But first, I want to acknowledge something we don't talk about enough: for many [00:02:00] people, especially trauma survivors, the holidays aren't this magical time everyone pretends they are. So we're going to hold space for both experiences-- missing celebrations you wish you could attend, and feeling relieved to have a legitimate reason to skip ones that don't serve your well-being.

Let me be direct about something most people don't understand: shift work isn't just about working different hours. It's about navigating a world that operates on a schedule that doesn't include you. And during the holidays? That misalignment becomes even more pronounced.

You're not just missing parties. You're navigating complex emotional terrain. You might be managing sleep disruption that makes everything harder. You're dealing with social disconnection from friends and family who don't understand why you "can't just take the day off". [00:03:00] There's the physical exhaustion that goes beyond normal tiredness. The emotional toll of being needed when you need rest. And maybe some identity questions about your worth when society celebrates time off as the ultimate goal. And if you've experienced trauma in your past, these challenges can hit even harder. Your nervous system might already be working overtime. The disruption to routine, the pressure to seem "fine", the isolation-- all of it can activate trauma responses that make an already difficult situation feel overwhelming.

Here's what's happening beneath the surface that nobody talks about: the comparison trap intensifies. When everyone else is celebrating, your different schedule can feel like a deficit rather than just difference. This isn't about being ungrateful for your job-- it's about the real psychological impact of operating outside the cultural norm during [00:04:00] heightened social moments.

Boundary setting becomes harder. Well-meaning family members might say things like, "can't you just switch shifts" or "You're missing Christmas again? These comments, even when not intended to hurt, can create internal pressure and guilt that you don't deserve to carry.

Your body is under extra stress. Shift work already disrupts circadian rhythms. Add holiday busyness, potential weather challenges, and the emotional weight of missing celebrations, and you're asking your nervous system to manage a lot.

And validation becomes scarce. The people who are celebrating rarely think to reach out and say, "thank you for working today", or, "I know this is hard for you". That lack of acknowledgement can make you feel invisible.

Now, here's something we really don't talk about enough. For many people, especially trauma survivors [00:05:00] working through the holidays might actually be providing you with something valuable-- a legitimate reason to opt out of situations that don't serve your well-being. 

If your family gatherings are tense, triggering, or downright unsafe, if childhood holiday memories are sources of pain rather than nostalgia, if the pressure to perform happiness and gratitude feels suffocating-- your work schedule might be an unexpected ally.

You might be experiencing a complicated mix of feelings: Relief that you have a good excuse not to attend difficult family gatherings. Guilt about feeling that relief. Grief over not having the family experience others seem to have. Anxiety about the judgment from family members who don't understand. Confusion about whether you're "using" your work schedule as avoidance.

Let me be clear: protecting yourself from harmful or triggering situations isn't [00:06:00] avoidance-- it's wisdom. Your nervous system knows what it needs, and sometimes what it needs is distance from environments that activate trauma responses.

Your work schedule might be giving you physical and emotional safety from harmful environments. Permission to prioritize your well-being without explaining your trauma history. Space to create new, healthier holiday experiences on your own terms. Distance that allows you to maintain relationships at a safer level.

This doesn't mean you're "running away" or "avoiding growth". Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is recognize that not every family gathering serves your healing.

On the other hand, maybe you do have safe, supportive people you genuinely wish you could be with. That sadness is also valid and worth acknowledging. You're allowed to hold both-- appreciation for your job and finding your schedule [00:07:00] difficult. That's not contradiction. That's being human.

I want to shift gears here and talk about something important: the skills you're developing through this experience that most people never have to build.

You're practicing advanced emotional regulation skills. Managing your feelings about missing celebrations while maintaining professionalism at work? That's a sophisticated capability that translates to valuable professional strengths. Many people never have to develop this level of emotional intelligence.

You're demonstrating values driven decision-making. You're showing up for work during the holidays because people need you. Whether you're in healthcare, hospitality, emergency services, retail, or any other essential role-- your presence makes someone else's holiday possible. That alignment between your actions and your values, even [00:08:00] when it's hard, is meaningful.

You're developing crisis management capabilities. Shift workers are often managing unpredictable situations, covering for call outs, handling what comes up in real time. These pattern-recognition and problem-solving skills translate to professional capabilities that go far beyond your current role.

Now, I'm not saying this to put pressure on you to feel grateful or to minimize how hard this is. I'm saying it because it's true and because when you're ready to think about your career development-- not today, not during the holidays, but eventually-- these are strengths you can leverage.

Since traditional holiday celebrations might not work with your schedule, let's talk about building alternative rituals that honor your reality. 

Before your shift, you might create a personal moment of acknowledgement. Maybe it's a special breakfast, lighting a [00:09:00] candle, or taking five minutes to reflect on what matters to you. Send yourself a kind message about the choice you're making to show up today. Or reach out to someone who understands, maybe a fellow shift worker for connection.

During your shift, find small ways to acknowledge the holiday with coworkers who are also working. Even a simple, "we're doing this together" can help. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up without judgment. And use breaks for genuine rest rather than scrolling social media that might trigger comparison.

After your shift plan, your own celebration for when you're off. It doesn't have to be on the calendar date to be meaningful. Allow yourself to rest without guilt. Connect with people who appreciate your sacrifice, even if it's just a text conversation.

Let's talk about what you can and can't control here, because this [00:10:00] distinction matters.

You can't control other people's ability to understand your schedule or your need for distance. You can't control timing of cultural celebrations or the way society centers traditional work schedules and idealized family gatherings. You can't control your body's natural need for rest and routine, or feeling sad, angry, relieved, or conflicted about missing out. You can't control family members who pressure you or don't respect your boundaries, or trauma responses that get activated during the holiday season.

But you can influence how you talk to yourself about your circumstances. The boundaries you set around your time off. The small rituals you create for yourself. Who you share your experience with. And your long-term career path, and whether shift work remains part of it.

Notice I said "influence" rather than control-- because [00:11:00] recognizing your capacity to shape your experience without taking on the pressure to fix everything is an important distinction.

Beyond getting through this particular holiday season, you might benefit from developing sustainable practices for managing shift work long term.

This includes learning to work with your trauma responses in professional settings, developing boundary setting approaches that protect your energy, and exploring whether shift work continues to serve your long-term goals.

These aren't things you need to figure out alone. And they're not things you should pressure yourself to master while you're just trying to get through the holidays.

If you've experienced trauma, you might be especially attuned to feeling overlooked, unappreciated, or like you're operating on the margins. Those feelings make sense given your history. But here's what's also true: you're already demonstrating incredible [00:12:00] resilience just by showing up.

The fact that you're listening to this-- looking for support, seeking validation, wanting to understand your experience-- shows that you're actively working to care for yourself even in challenging circumstances. That matters.

I'm not going to promise you that working holidays will suddenly feel easy or that you'll stop wishing you could join traditional celebrations. What I can tell you is that how you relate to your circumstances can shift, and that shift can make a significant difference in your well-being.

You're not just surviving your shift work-- you're developing personalized regulation strategies, building resilience, and learning to advocate for yourself in ways that serve you throughout your career. That matters, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. This holiday season, I hope you find moments of peace. I hope you feel [00:13:00] seen in your sacrifice. I hope you remember that your current schedule doesn't define your worth or your future possibilities.

If you're tired of generic career advice that assumes you work nine to five, if you're ready to translate your hard-won resilience into professional advancement, or if you're just looking for support that understands the intersection of trauma recovery and non-traditional work schedules-- I'd love to have a conversation with you. I work specifically with shift workers, caregivers, and others whose schedules don't fit the traditional mold. My approach honors your reality: that you're managing work demands, possibly healing from trauma, and trying to build a career that doesn't break you in the process.

There's no pressure, no pitch-- just an honest conversation about where you are, what you're navigating, and whether working together might make sense. You can find the link to schedule a discovery call [00:14:00] in the show notes.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. You've got this.

You're not walking this path alone. Every step you take toward a trauma-wise career is an act of courage, and I'm here cheering you on. If today's episode resonated with you, share it with another survivor who needs to hear this message. Together we're rewriting the rules of career success. Keep rising, keep healing, keep building.