Prison Gigs, Wedding Vows, and Marriage or Maximum Security?

Chris Bennett is preparing for a week packed with emotion, laughs, and life milestones — from performing stand-up at a prison in Yuma to officiating his daughter’s wedding in Salt Lake City. His wife Andrea joins the show to reflect on marriage, drop some unexpected wisdom, and play the hilarious game: Marriage or Maximum Security?

Also in this episode:

• 🦍 A zookeeper becomes a father figure to baby gorillas
• 🏔️ Janine shares a wild story about hikers who found 600 gold coins and gave them all away
• 🥃 It’s World Cocktail Day, so Paul from Beaumont plays “Fake Cocktail or Real Drink?”
• 🥩 Paul recaps his anniversary dinner at Saltgrass Steakhouse
• ⚾ A lucky listener wins DBacks tickets by knowing the team’s mascot isn't actually a snake

This episode’s full of laughs, heart, and some unexpected tears.

Chapters

• 0:00 Talk About Something Good Tuesday
• 3:38 Hikers Find Historic Gold Treasure
• 5:24 Zookeeper Raises Baby Gorillas
• 9:03 Prison Comedy Show Preparations
• 11:56 Marriage Advice and Wedding Officiant
• 14:24 Marriage or Maximum Security Game

Transcript

Talk About Something Good Tuesday

Speaker 1 0:00

From the Horn Auto Center Studios Chris Bennett and the Morning Brew. Janine, are you over there? Yes, I am of course Heck yeah, happy, talk About Something Good Tuesday.

Speaker 2 0:13

Yeah, I love that. I love Talk About Something Good Tuesday.

Speaker 1 0:16

Yeah, you know what's good. I have a lot of comedy shows this week. Ooh, yeah, I'm gonna be. I have my prison show coming up just in a few days, on Friday.

Speaker 2 0:27

I wish I could be a fly on the wall. Are you going to be?

Speaker 1 0:29

recording that one, absolutely absolutely, and hopefully I'll be releasing it as a short comedy special called Chris Goes to Prison A clean comedy special, and yeah. And then I have a fun show Saturday in Cottonwood and then I'm heading to Salt Lake City for my daughter's wedding.

Speaker 2 0:50

Oh, I got to tell you that's going to be so cool. I'm going to be following you on social media for all the sweet pictures.

Speaker 1 0:56

Yeah, follow me online at ChrisBennettComedy. Janine for Taco Tuesday. I was wondering if you wanted to swap some good news stories. Yes, you want me to go, some good news stories. Yes, you want me to go first. I'll go first. All right, go ahead.

Speaker 2 1:07

All righty, this is about treasure hunters. I love stumbling across something cool right, mine is usually in a thrift store or something like that but this is a pair of hikers. They stumbled across a fortune in valuable gold coins in the Czech Republic, so they were just hiking and they're strolling along the foothills Now this is kind of on the border between the Czech Republic and Poland and they look and they see in a crevice what looks like a can, and they pull it out. It contained nearly 600 gold coins wrapped in fabric, and just feet away there was another glint of a box containing cigarette cases, a comb, bracelets, a chain all made of gold and all historic. So you know what, instead of keeping it for themselves, you know what they did? What? Gave it to a museum? Oh, my gosh, I love it. I know, so sweet. That's the best part of the story. Yeah, right there. Yeah, very cool.

Speaker 1 1:58

All right, Janine, it's time for some more good news. All right, All right. In my good news today, I want everyone to meet a guy named Alan Toyne, who might be crazy but he sounds like a nice guy. He's a zookeeper turned foster dad to two baby gorillas. When one of the baby gorillas at the Bristol Zoo developed complications and then rejected her newborns, Alan stepped in to help and for seven months he shared his home, meals and even his wardrobe, wearing string vests to mimic gorilla fur, to teach baby Afia how to behave like a proper gorilla. And Alan and his team became the first in the UK to hand-rear gorillas, using a surrogacy method that let the babies live and learn alongside other adult gorillas instead of isolating them. And then this hands-on care helped Althea and later Hassani, another rejected gorilla, grow up socially healthy and ready to rejoin their troop. And Toyn even wrote a memoir called Gorillas in Our Mids, capturing all the bizarre and beautiful moments, like being woken up by a gorilla slap or eating dinner with one at the table.

Speaker 1 3:13

It's scary enough to be a parent to kids and teenagers. I can't imagine being a surrogate parent to a gorilla.

Speaker 2 3:20

Yeah, I'm getting ready to foster some little donkeys for the rescue. But gorillas, oh wow, yeah, that's a big kudos to him.

Speaker 1 3:29

That's very scary. Well, that was some good news on this. Talk about something good Tuesday. We love you, Janine. Hope you have a great day.

Speaker 2 3:36

You too have a good one, Chris. Bye-bye.

Hikers Find Historic Gold Treasure

Speaker 1 3:37

Bye-bye. Welcome back to the Morning Brew coming to you from the Horn Auto Center Studios On the phone. We have a very special guest. It is my better half, my wife Andrea. Good morning, my love.

Speaker 3 3:54

Good morning.

Speaker 1 3:55

I have a pretty crazy week this week, probably one of the craziest shows I've ever done, and you've been with me throughout all the crazy shows I'm performing at Yuma Prison this week. Do you remember when I well, I asked your permission, right? I was like what do you think?

Speaker 3 4:14

Should I do it? Yes, I remember.

Speaker 1 4:15

Yeah, and what are your thoughts on me performing in a prison? Are you worried they're going to keep me there? Am I going to cry more in prison or am I going to cry more at our daughter's wedding?

Speaker 3 4:25

Oh, I think you'll be fine in prison. You're just a visitor.

Speaker 1 4:31

I'm just a visitor, that's right.

Speaker 3 4:32

You're just a visitor trying to spread some joy in a pretty dark place, so I think you'll be okay.

Speaker 1 4:40

Kirk Nermy, my friend, gave me a good prank idea. He said I should call my parents when I'm in prison. You have it. I think that he doesn't know your parents well enough no, no, my parents would lose it, you would think, because I'm completely opposite of my parents, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 3 5:02

Yes, in every possible way.

Speaker 1 5:08

I'm super serious or no, I'm not. I'm not serious at all. And they are super serious. And for they don't even like me to goof around on Halloween, do you?

Speaker 3 5:15

remember yeah, they wouldn't let you, they wouldn't let you dress up as a redneck no way.

Zookeeper Raises Baby Gorillas

Speaker 1 5:19

They said no, no, of course you have an image to uphold. I'm like well, what should I dress? As for Halloween, they're a successful businessman. I'm like that is not exciting at all. We are on the phone with my love of my life, andrea Bennett, who puts up with all my craziness. What's the hardest part about being married to Chris Bennett?

Speaker 3 5:41

I mean it's not too hard, but I think just the crazy schedules, I never really know where you're at.

Speaker 1 5:51

Yeah.

Speaker 3 5:52

Or what you're doing, and sometimes I'm like, oh yeah, he's in New Mexico, you know. So I mean that's we're used to it, so it doesn't really feel that hard.

Speaker 1 6:01

Right, right. Well, we are going to Salt Lake City, and you know where I'll be next week in.

Speaker 2 6:06

Salt.

Speaker 1 6:06

Lake City for our oldest daughter, Madison. She's 25. She's getting married to Beckett and I'm officiating the wedding. I haven't really been practicing much. I'm kind of nervous. How much do you think I'm going to cry?

Speaker 3 6:21

A lot.

Speaker 1 6:22

Yeah, a lot. I want to make it—we should talk to her because I want to make sure that it's the most enjoyable experience for her. But she said she wanted it to be fun, lighthearted, but sweet.

Speaker 3 6:33

Yes, so she picked the right guy. She picked the right guy.

Speaker 1 6:35

She said she wanted it to be fun, lighthearted, but sweet yes. So she picked the right guy. She picked the right guy.

Speaker 3 6:39

I mean the right minister.

Speaker 1 6:41

The right minister. I know how awesome is the internet, that you could become a minister and like, literally, I just went online, I clicked to sign up to become a minister and you know the funniest thing?

Speaker 3 7:01

I found out I had become a minister five years ago, I think drunk Chris signed up to be a minister.

Speaker 1 7:04

I don't know who you were going to marry five years ago. I don't know. Somebody must've told me they wanted me to marry him. But yeah, so I can't wait for the wedding. It's going to be a lot of fun. What advice would you give to our daughter, madison, getting married?

Speaker 3 7:15

Oh, um, I think the best advice is to just keep showing up for your person, for your guy, yeah, and you know, like if you get to a point where you're not trying anymore, then I think you're in trouble. But if you show up every day and you give it your best, like you're going to have downs and you're going to have ups, but you got to show up for all of it, my gosh.

Speaker 1 7:43

That made me cry. And we're not even at the wedding. That is beautiful advice Just keep showing up and always respect and love that person. You're with right, awesome. Well, that's enough crying for one day, all right. With my daughter getting married next week and me performing comedy at an actual prison in Yuma this Friday, I figured what better time to play a game called Marriage or Maximum Security. I'm going to go ahead and read a statement or description and you tell me if it's describing prison or marriage. You ready? Okay, I'm ready. You can't leave without asking permission. Prison or marriage.

Speaker 3 8:24

Do I get to say both?

Speaker 1 8:25

You can say both.

Speaker 3 8:27

Not our marriage, but I've known of marriages, but definitely prison.

Speaker 1 8:31

Yeah, it could be either, but this one is definitely prison. You eat the same meal over and over again. Is that marriage or prison?

Speaker 3 8:41

I'm going to say prison.

Speaker 1 8:42

Prison. Yeah, you do a good job of it's always mixing up, right.

Speaker 3 8:46

I try, I try.

Speaker 1 8:48

All right. Your clothes are chosen for you. Prison or marriage.

Speaker 3 8:53

Now I know some marriages that are like that, but no, I'm going to say that's prison.

Speaker 1 8:59

And you know, do you like dressing me up?

Speaker 3 9:03

No, I like. I like the clothes you pick out for yourself. I think it's fun.

Speaker 1 9:07

But our, our daughter who's getting married? She loves to pick out clothes for her future husband, right? Yes, yeah. So some, some women just love to treat their husbands like big dolls.

Speaker 3 9:20

Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 9:22

Every time you try to leave someone cries Marriage or prison.

Speaker 3 9:27

I can go with marriage.

Speaker 1 9:29

Yeah, definitely marriage.

Speaker 3 9:31

And last one, I don't think you want to be that popular in prison.

Speaker 1 9:34

No, that's a good point. And last one I don't think you want to be that popular in prison. No, that's a good point. And last one You're in for 25 to life and you said, yes, marriage or prison, prison, prison and not marriage. You could be married for 20.

Speaker 3 9:47

You're not in it. In it 25 to life. Like you, have no choice oh that's a good point, you can get out.

Speaker 1 9:54

Oh, okay, that was Prison or Marriage with my wonderful wife, andrea. I love you, best friend, and I'll see you later.

Speaker 3 10:03

All right, bye-bye, bye.

Speaker 1 10:04

Yee-yee, yee-yee. There he is, paul from Beaumont. I was just sweating it. I didn't know if you were going to call in. What are you doing on this? Talk about something good. Tuesday, man, I was stuck in a pipe yard. Oh man, and last night was your anniversary, right, yeah, so what did you and Rhonda do? Did you do anything special?

Speaker 3 10:24

Oh, we went and ate dinner at Saltgrass Steakhouse.

Speaker 1 10:28

Oh nice, oh fancy. And Kirk Nermy was asking me on the Facebook Live how your fat shot has been going and I think he missed the fact that you decided to skip out on getting the fat shot.

Speaker 3 10:42

Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe old Perry ought to listen to the shows more often.

Speaker 1 10:47

So since you didn't have your fat shot, you were able to eat whatever you wanted. Yesterday, did you have a dessert? Yeah, I didn't eat a dessert.

Speaker 3 10:54

It's at the house waiting for me today.

Speaker 1 10:56

What would you do if you came home and Rhonda ate that piece of cake or that dessert? She ain't gonna eat it. Why she?

Speaker 3 11:03

ain't gonna eat it.

Speaker 1 11:06

Has that ever happened to you? Or have you ever eaten something Rhonda put in the fridge for herself and you accidentally ate it? I have. I do it so often. My daughter had these cookies in the fridge and they looked so good. Paul and I was ready to scarf them all down and I looked on the top and my daughter knows me so well she goes these are weird protein cookies for Lizzie, not for Dad. Thank you so much. That was her polite way of telling me that those cookies were going to send me to the bathroom.

Speaker 3 11:40

Do not eat them.

Marriage Advice and Wedding Officiant

Speaker 1 11:42

We're going to be right back and have some more fun, with Paul from Beaumont coming up next. All right, paul, today is World Cocktail Day. Yee, yee, yee, one of your favorite days, yeah, yeah. So I thought we would play a game where you have to tell me which is the fake cocktail. I'm going to give you a name of five cocktails and you tell me which one is a fake name. You ready, let's drink. All right, let's drink. Here we go. Monkey gland, corpse, reviver, cement mixer, flamingo fizz or a slippery nipple Monkey gland. Monkey gland, I guess, is a real drink. The fake drink was flamingo fizz.

Speaker 3 12:30

Really, that sounds like it'd be real.

Speaker 1 12:33

Next one Sex on the Beach, blue Lagoon. Screaming Viking or Velvet Hammer or Alabama Slammer. Which one is the fake? The Viking, the Screaming Viking? What do you think would be in a Screaming Viking?

Speaker 2 12:49

Man, I wouldn't even get to know. Jägermeister Tequila yeah, I wouldn't even get to know, jagermeister, tequila.

Speaker 1 12:53

Yeah, I don't know what Vikings drink. I'd say vodka, maybe, alright, and last one, a Fuzzy Navel, a Dirty Shirley, a Purple Haze or an Electric Banana.

Speaker 2 13:04

Okay, I'm going to say Electric Bananas that is the fake.

Speaker 1 13:07

That's right. Purple Haze, dirty Shirley and a Fuzzy Navel are all real drinks. Paul, you know your cocktails.

Speaker 3 13:15

Know my booze.

Speaker 1 13:17

It is now time for. Are you Smarter Than a Redneck with Paul from Beaumont? It is cocktail day, so we are going to do some cocktail trivia. If you know the answer, say your name. That's your buzzer. You ready? Let's do this.

Marriage or Maximum Security Game

Speaker 1 13:29

What is the third ingredient besides cream and vodka in a white Russian? Is it Godiva liquor, frangelico, kahlua or Myers Dark Rum, chris, kahlua. I said my buzzer, kahlua. It is Kahlua. I'm up 1-0. Next question which of these liquors is not in a Long Island? Is it vodka, rum, tequila or whiskey, chris? I'm going to say whiskey. Oh my gosh, I'm up to zero. Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky. Last one, paul, if you get this right, you can win, because it's worth a million points. What are the ingredients in a Cosmo? Vodka, cranberry juice, triple sec, lime or rum? Cranberry juice, lime or triple sec? Tequila, orange juice, cranberry juice or D vodka, cranberry juice, lime, paul, paul A, is it A vodka, cranberry juice and triple sec? Holy moly, this redneck likes his cosmopolitans. You are. Get out my bar. Get out my bar, buddy. You're out of here. You are smarter than a very handsome radio DJ. We love you, paul. Thanks for calling in and having fun with us.

Speaker 1 14:39

All right, buddy Now down the steps with you Out of here. See you Bye. Good morning, it's the Morning Brew with Chris. Who's this? Sheena Wilson, sheena Wilson, sheena Wilson, you are caller number five, but you don't win those D-back tickets this easy. You got to play a game called Two Truths or a Lie, diamondbacks edition. If you spot the lie, the tickets are yours.

Speaker 3 15:03

Are you ready? I'm ready.

Speaker 1 15:04

All right. First one the Diamondbacks won the World Series in 2001. Two, their mascot is a giant snake named Scaly. Or three Randy Johnson once hit a bird with a pitch during a game. What is the lie?

Speaker 3 15:20

The lie is their mascot is a big snake.

Speaker 1 15:24

Yeah, no, their mascot is Baxter the Bobcat Heck. Yes, congratulations, sheena. You just won two tickets to check out the Diamondbacks game this weekend. Who's your favorite Diamondback player of all time?

Speaker 3 15:36

Oh my gosh Right now. I love Eugenio Suarez.

Speaker 1 15:42

Ooh Whack smack. I love my Diamondbacks.

Speaker 3 15:45

My.

Speaker 1 15:45

Diamondbacks? Heck, yeah. Well, congratulations, sheena. What station hooked you up? 92.5. You know it.

Speaker 2 15:53

Thank you best friend.