Love, Lunchables, and the "Oh Geez" Lady: A Dating Comedy

Ever witnessed a train wreck you couldn't look away from? That's exactly what you'll get with Producer Ryan's bachelor auction story—a hilariously cringeworthy dating disaster that makes for podcast gold. When Ryan's friend (who previously friend-zoned him) convinces him to participate in a charity bachelor auction, things quickly spiral into comedy territory. From his ill-advised spin move prompting an audible "Oh geez" from the crowd to ultimately selling for just $30—the lowest bid of the night—Ryan's self-deprecating retelling had us in stitches.

But wait, there's more! The plot thickens when Ryan discovers his $30 bidder actually purchased multiple bachelors that night, explaining she was trying to drive up prices for charity. "It worked for everybody except you," she told him. The dating saga continues as Ryan later connects with a woman carrying a mysterious backpack on their first date—a "rosé flag" as he cleverly terms it, admitting his weakness for "a little bit of the crazy." 

The episode shifts into a series of entertaining segments including "Would You Rather" dating edition (would you rather have a first date at Chuck E. Cheese or during a family reunion?), "Boo or Cool" fashion trends with Dave Ramsey, and "Red Flag or Go" dating advice from Paul from Beaumont. We wrap things up with an "Am I the Jerk" court case about a roommate dispute involving donated belongings. From start to finish, this episode delivers relatable dating horror stories, friendship banter, and genuine laughs that'll have you feeling better about your own romantic misadventures. Ready to feel better about your dating life? Hit play and subscribe now!

Transcript

Producer Ryan's Bachelor Auction Disaster

Speaker 1 0:00

From the Horn Auto Center Studios Chris Bennett and the Morning Brew. Good morning, it's the Morning Brew with Chris. Who's this? Oh, it's Producer Ryan. Heck, yeah, Emmy Award winning Producer Ryan, my best friend Payson, graduate class of what? 97? 97, yep 97, now living in Wilmington, North Carolina. He's single, looking to mingle, looking for love in all types of different places.

Speaker 2 0:30

Go ahead and give us some All the wrong places.

Speaker 1 0:33

Yeah, what is your latest adventure in dating Ryan? Something funny happened, so.

Speaker 2 0:40

I told everybody about the bachelor auction I was in. I believe we talked about it on this show already, but I hadn't gotten on the date yet, right.

Speaker 1 0:50

No, you haven't. You have not told us about the bachelor auction yet.

Speaker 2 0:54

Oh, okay. So a friend asked me if I would do a bachelor auction for charity, where they're auctioning off dates with bachelors, right, you know?

Speaker 1 1:04

and that friend you also went on a date with. She friend zoned you and now she's signing you up for all these single things.

Speaker 2 1:11

Now she's desperately trying to get rid of me.

Speaker 1 1:14

So she signed you up for this charity auction, where they're auctioning off eligible bachelors.

Speaker 2 1:21

Eligible bachelors and they, you know, paraded us up there in front of everyone like a bunch of meat. I mean, some of us were more like Lunchables and when it came my turn to walk across the stage, I wanted to show my personality you know, a little charisma, right. So I did one of those spin moves you know that I'm so famous for. So I did one of those spin moves you know that I'm so famous for, and all I heard in the crowd was some woman go oh geez, oh no, how many other men were getting auctioned Ten men total and were you the first one to get an OGs, To get a?

Speaker 1 2:06

what Get a OGs?

Speaker 2 2:08

that lady I was the only one to get an OGs and there were little kids in the audience at a bachelor auction and I just couldn't help but thinking their mom was like come on, kids, let's go find your next stepdad. How'd the bidding go? Well, the bidding started at $10. And right away, a woman in the back goes $10. And I was like, oh yeah, we're going right to the top, baby Right. Because a couple guys had already gone for a couple hundred dollars. I'm like, oh, I'm at least going to get that right, right. And then the auctioneer goes $40. Do I hear $40? And a heavy silence fell over the crowd. Yes, and there you go, $35. He said that a little too quickly and still nothing. I went for $30, which was the lowest price of everyone.

Speaker 1 3:05

Oh no, you went for the least amount, and I understand. So did you end up going on the date with the girl that got you for $30?

Speaker 2 3:17

Yeah, I went on the date and it turns out not only did she buy me, but she bought three other guys. So let's just say mama thirsty.

Speaker 1 3:29

She likes to go to Costco for her dating. She likes to shop in bulk.

Speaker 2 3:35

Yeah, she got the good deal guys.

Speaker 1 3:38

And so something interesting you found out Only one person bid on you, but she bid on every single person.

Speaker 2 3:46

She bid on every single person and she said it was to help drive the price up for charity, right, and she was like it worked for everybody except for you.

Speaker 1 3:56

Oh man, I'm sorry, ryan, are you ever going to do another one of these charity actions? No, why would I ever do that? Oh gosh, hilarious story. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. It definitely makes us laugh well well, that's exciting. And then I understand that. Then you had a comedy show in that same town like a week later and, yeah, in the audience you were talking telling the story and there was actually a lady there that was like oh, I was there, I should have been on you.

Would-You-Rather Dating Edition

Speaker 2 4:30

Yeah, she did. And we went out on a date and, uh, let's just say I like a little bit of the crazy women. And boy, did she not disappoint I, you know, I see red Chris like rosé flags, and who doesn't like a nice glass of rosé Boy, she brought a full backpack to the date. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 4:57

And I was like I was thinking, oh, maybe she will leave that in the car when we go into the restaurant. Nope, brought the big old backpack in the restaurant. I told her, hey, you should leave that in the car. She goes. No, it has my stuff in it. I'm like okay.

Speaker 1 5:10

And that's when you knew you were in love.

Speaker 2 5:13

I am in love. I can't wait to take her out again Awesome.

Speaker 1 5:16

Ryan, I'm going to ask you some would-you-rather questions. Answer to the best of your ability. You ready? Absolutely, let's go. Would you rather be the lowest bid bachelor at a bachelor auction or have your mom win you by accident?

Speaker 2 5:31

Oh, my mom, Because at least I know I can take my mom out on a nice date.

Speaker 1 5:38

Yeah, and she would bid way more than $30.

Speaker 2 5:42

Oh, absolutely, she'd bid $500.

Speaker 1 5:46

Would you rather go on a first date at a Chuck E Cheese or during a family reunion? Chuck E Cheese, absolutely Heck. Yeah, you get some prizes afterwards. I love Chuck E Cheese. Are you kidding me? Yeah, how long should you wait until you introduce him to your family?

Speaker 2 6:02

Oh, like the second date what I like to get it serious, real fast.

Speaker 1 6:12

Would you rather date someone who only speaks in movie quotes or only communicates via emoji? Ooh movie quotes Heck, yeah, you had me at hello. Would you rather have your next date picked by your friends or by one of our random listeners calling into the show?

Speaker 2 6:34

Oh, random listeners. Your listeners are the best.

Speaker 1 6:37

They are the best and they probably have some good ideas.

Speaker 2 6:39

And my friends are nightmares.

Speaker 1 6:43

And last one would you rather be stuck on a six hour road trip with a bad date or be the only person who doesn't get bit on again next year?

Speaker 2 6:52

That's a tough one. I'm going to go with only person that doesn't get bit on, because at least then I wouldn't have to go on a date.

Speaker 1 7:03

And think about how much material you got from it.

Speaker 2 7:06

That's true. That's true. I've been on a six-hour road trip with somebody I did not like, and boy, that was awkward.

Speaker 1 7:12

I'm sorry about that. I'll be better next time.

Speaker 2 7:15

Yeah, thank you.

Boo or Cool: Fashion Trends

Speaker 1 7:16

That was. Would you Rather Wednesday with producer Ryan? We are on the phone with Show Lo's own Dave Ramsey, star of Boo or Cool. How are you doing today, Dave? Doing good? Did you hear producer Ryan and his dating dilemmas and his bachelor auction? Oh yeah, what's your advice to him?

Speaker 2 7:38

Find one and hang with her. Just don't be caught up in all this hoopla.

Speaker 1 7:43

Yeah, so you don't like the fact that he's doing these single events and the bachelor auction. You would not recommend that.

Speaker 2 7:53

No no.

Speaker 1 7:55

But it's hard to find someone and he's looking for love. What do you suggest? Where should he go?

Speaker 2 8:01

If it comes around, it'll come around yeah, you're, uh, uh.

Speaker 1 8:06

You met your wife by calling to pay a bill. Yeah, yeah, and you fell in love with her over the phone, so maybe he just needs to start. Uh, stop getting off automatic automatic pay and a call and talk to an operator exactly well, today is fashion day, dave, and so I thought we would do a little boo or cool with some fashion trends. Are you ready? I'm ready, all right. Socks with sandals boo, oh really, you're not a fan of that. But uh, do you like sandals at all? You, you just wear tennis shoes.

Speaker 2 8:42

I don't like anything between my toes. I don't own sandals. I haven't worn sandals in like 15 years.

Speaker 1 8:50

What about overalls on adults?

Speaker 2 8:52

That's gross Boo.

Speaker 1 8:54

Oh man, really I was hoping you'd say cool, because I want to get a pair of overalls. What about fanny packs?

Speaker 2 9:02

That's totally boo.

Speaker 1 9:03

Dave. They're convenient, they're fun. You could even get some to look like a belly. Yeah, become an instant pregnant woman. What about ripped jeans with too many rips? Nah, boo, boo, oh gosh. What about bucket hats? A what Bucket hats Like? You know a hat that you use for the sun and it kind of looks like a bucket.

Speaker 2 9:29

Nah boo.

Speaker 1 9:30

No, oh my gosh Dave, what about animal print everything.

Speaker 2 9:36

Depends on the animal.

Speaker 1 9:39

I think that would be all right, cool, okay, cool, and I know what you like to wear a collared shirt with a pocket in front.

Speaker 2 9:47

That's very cool. You got to have a pocket.

Paul from Beaumont's Dating Advice

Speaker 1 9:50

That was Boo, or Cool Fashion Trends on this fashion day. We love you, dave Ramsey. Hope you have a great day, best friend you too, Bye, yay, yay, yay, yay. Everyone's favorite redneck from Beaumont, texas, it's Paul from Beaumont. What's new with you?

Speaker 3 10:07

Man, look, I got this morning. You know, when you get up your eyes really ain't open. Well, I did something that opened them wide. I opened them eyeballs wide open. I stubbed my toe.

Speaker 1 10:18

Yeah, it's like a tree of wood, you stubbed your toe. What's the redneck word of the day for the pain you experienced from stubbing your toe? Radio appropriate.

Speaker 3 10:28

I don't know. Well, I can't say. Then there was some toys worse that came out my mouth.

Speaker 1 10:36

You heard Ryan talk about his dating life. What advice do you have for him?

Speaker 3 10:42

Oh geez, Dude, I'm really baffled, though man, 30 bucks and he's got an Emmy and that didn't fool them. I mean that didn't.

Speaker 1 10:55

Yeah, they mentioned. He didn't bring the Emmy with him on stage, but they did mention it in his intro.

Speaker 3 11:03

Maybe he should get a backpack like crazy and just pack it with him and say look what I got.

Speaker 1 11:10

Oh yeah, just carry his Emmy around with him in a backpack all the time.

Speaker 3 11:15

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 11:18

I don't know if that's a good idea. Have you ever been auctioned off for a bachelor? Charity auction? No, what? Do you think you'd go for? A six-pack.

Speaker 3 11:30

Yeah, you'd be crying. That's up, man. I'm like why are you here, man? It'd be top dollar son.

Speaker 1 11:41

Hey, you want to be our? Am I the Jerk court this morning? Okay, sure, all rise, am I? The jerk Court is in session. The Honorable Paul from Beaumont presides. You got your robe and wig on.

Speaker 3 11:56

Yeah, I don't wear wigs, but we're good to go.

Am I The Jerk: Roommate Drama

Speaker 1 12:00

All right, here's the deal. My roommate 24 female and I, 22 female used to be friends, but she was awful at adulting. She never cleaned, she barely paid utilities and I constantly had to chase her for rent After our lease ended. We went month to month but she basically moved in with her boyfriend and ghosted me. No rent, no communication. I paid May's rent alone and told her repeatedly she would need to get her stuff or I donate it by July. She ignored every message and her mom said she'd take care of it. But nothing, just crickets. So I packed up her room, donated most of it and changed the locks. When she finally showed up in July, she freaked out, claimed she never moved out and wanted to come back. Then she screamed that I donated her grandma's wedding dress to the goodwill. Now she's threatening to call the cops. I honestly feel bad. Am I the jerk, paul? What do you say?

Speaker 3 13:03

Well, I think whose name was on release? Number one, Well, yeah, Number two if somebody's got their stuff in your house over, like what? 30 days Right, you can't just throw them out without going to court and getting them a fix.

Speaker 1 13:19

Yeah, but she didn't pay rent in May, she didn't pay rent in June.

Speaker 3 13:23

Yeah, I get all that. I mean I want to say personally she's a jerk.

Speaker 2 13:29

Maybe, legally.

Speaker 3 13:30

Yeah, she's a jerk. Yeah, but not jerk. Yeah, but not personally.

Speaker 1 13:34

No.

Speaker 3 13:35

Yeah, like I don't know, I think she's in trouble with the law.

Speaker 1 13:40

I don't think it was nice for her to like just. You know she could have put everything in boxes.

Speaker 3 13:45

Oh no, she would have answered Okay, her mama knew, her mama knew.

Speaker 1 13:49

Right.

Speaker 3 13:50

Okay, what happened to? Did her boyfriend break up? Did she need a place to stay all of a sudden?

Red Flag or Go Dating Guide

Speaker 1 13:55

Hmm, interesting. Yeah, all right, in the case of, am I the jerk for donating my roommate's family heirloom to Goodwill, paul says, probably, legally, yeah, yeah, personally, no, okay, there we go. That was. Am I the jerk court? Uh, today we heard that my friend, ryan mckee, who's looking for love, uh, loves red flags, and so I was hoping, paul, maybe uh, you could help our friend ryan out by, uh, you telling me whether something's a red flag or a go, so Ryan, kind of, can figure out what a red flag is. You ready? Okay, let's go. All right, red flag or go. She has 14 cats and they all sleep in the bed. Oh, that's a go, that's a go. Oh, so that's not a red flag.

Speaker 3 14:46

No, my cats. No, that's not a red flag 14 of them. Dude kitties need love too, hey kitties can get love. Look, look, man. If the kitties can get love, Ryan can get love.

Speaker 1 14:58

She says my ex is still my best friend. We even vacation together. Yeah, I'll forget it. As far as you need to go with that dude Red flag, red flag. Okay, she won't go anywhere. That doesn't serve ranch dressing, that's a go.

Speaker 3 15:13

Yeah, that's a go, ranch dressing is bomb.

Speaker 1 15:17

Yeah, yeah, she asks what your credit score is before asking your name. Bye honey, bye Bye. Red flag. She has a tattoo of her ex. Bye Bye, she owns a snake and lets the snake sleep on the couch. Bye Bye, she loves beer. Yeah, that's a keeper, that's a keeper. That was Red Flag, or Go with Paul. We love you, best friend. Thanks for having fun with us and drive safe out there. We'll talk to you tomorrow.

Speaker 1 15:52

Alright my friend. We'll talk to y'all later. Bye, bye, and that will do it for Wednesday, july 9th episode of the Morning Brew with Chris Bennett and Best Friends. Thank you so much for listening and make sure you click, subscribe and share with your friends. We love you, best friends. We'll be back tomorrow.