The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett

Motivational Monday, Comedy Laughs w/Tony B & World Stats Smarts: The Morning Brew

• Chris Bennett • Episode 137

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It’s a feel-good, laugh-out-loud start to the week on The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett and Best Friends!

We kick things off with Motivational Monday quotes and some encouragement with our good friend Jineane Ford, who reminds us that progress is personal and persistence pays off.

Then it’s all laughs as we welcome comedian Tony B, one of the stars of Chris Bennett Comedy Presents: The Best of Phoenix Stand-Up Showcase coming November 1st at 6:30 p.m. at the Show Low Elks Lodge. We even give away two free tickets, courtesy of our friends at ComfortFit Dentures—where you will feel comfortable always.

And of course, we wrap things up with everyone’s favorite redneck, Paul from Beaumont, as he joins Chris for a World Statistics Day edition of “Are You Smarter Than a Redneck?” Spoiler: it ends in a tie—but the laughs definitely win.

🎧 Listen now for your Monday dose of motivation, humor, and small-town fun—because coffee’s better with friends, laughter, and a few questionable statistics.

SPEAKER_02:

From the Horn Auto Center Studios, Chris Bennett and the morning brew. Janine, are you over there?

SPEAKER_00:

I am, I am.

SPEAKER_02:

How are you, Chris? Oh, I'm doing great on this Monday morning. Uh, you weren't in Friday, you were getting uh your wound uh taking care of more scraping.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I hate talking about that. I know. My you know, did I tell you that my husband nicknamed uh my leg? It's Randall, you know, the um from Monsters Inc., the little shape-shifting monster that's like a little nasty, yeah. It's it it's Randall. So Randall has really been a pain in our, you know what? Yeah. Randall's such a jerk. It continues, yeah. So but it's going okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Nice. We I uh I was in Cottonwood this weekend. I headlined a comedy show there at the uh public tap room.

SPEAKER_00:

I love Cottonwood.

SPEAKER_02:

I didn't realize it was so close to Sedona.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it is, it's beautiful there.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and most of the people in the audience were from Sedona, and man, that was uh a lot of fun. And then I'm getting a little stressed out, Janine, because uh we're one week away from me doing those uh three shows down in Phoenix where it's a dead comedian show where I'm gonna be doing uh a 10 minutes of Robin Williams stand-up.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, but you're gonna do so good. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm nervous. I I I'm focusing on like his stuff from 1977, and so uh I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. And then I'm trying to decide because then November 1st, I'm doing uh producing a comedy show with the best of Phoenix stand-up comedy on November 1st at Sholo Elk's Lodge. And since I'll have shaved my beard uh already, I'm wondering if I should do the Robin Williams stuff at the November 1st show.

SPEAKER_00:

There you go. Maybe that works. I think it'd be great. I might think it would be wonderful. Yes. And just tell people off the top what you just did and do yeah, I would love that. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

Awesome, sweet. So uh for more info on my upcoming shows, check out Chris Bennett Comedy.com.comedy.com. And November 1st, show Low Elk Slodge 21 and over. Get those tickets today. It is Monday, so you know what that means. What? It is time to get motivated with it on this motivational Monday, Janine. You ready?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, uh, since Halloween's right around the corner, I did a face your fears edition uh motivational motivational quotes about facing your fears. Here we go. Here's Eleanor Roosevelt. She said, Do one thing every day that scares you. Is that good advice? I like it. Okay. Uh challenge yourself. Challenge yourself. Uh Nelson Mandela said, courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. Oh that's nice. That's nice. Don't let your fears stop you, basically. Yeah. Uh Joseph Campbell said the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. Uh-huh. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Are you feeling brave, Chris? Dude, I am feeling so motivated and so.

SPEAKER_02:

Get in that cave. Uh Mandy Hale said, it's okay to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really brave.

SPEAKER_00:

Very nice. I like these are all good. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02:

And last one, Winston Churchill says fear is a reaction, courage is a decision.

SPEAKER_00:

There you go. I love it. But I like all of these. You know what? Um, and we've gone with a lot of nails on Mandela. Mandela, he's so good. But I think today, Eleanor Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that was awesome. Do one thing every day that scares you. Janine, you are the best.

SPEAKER_00:

Baby steps.

SPEAKER_02:

Baby steps, that's right.

SPEAKER_00:

So eat the sardines today, Chris. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't want to do that. Uh, Janine, you are the best. I hope you have a great day, and we'll talk to you tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00:

You too. Have a good one. Bye bye.

SPEAKER_02:

I am so excited to have one of my best friends on the phone that is going to be appearing on our Best of Phoenix stand-up comedy showcase at the Elks Lodge in Sholow, November 1st at 6 30 p.m. VIP tickets are$30, general mission tickets are$20. And get those at Chris Bennettcomedy.com. The show is 21 and over, indoors, Allaberto's food truck, and the bar. That's right, the bar. Open up at 5. Get there early, and uh, we're gonna have a great time because Tony B is gonna be on the show. So excited to have you back in SHOLO, best friend. Hey, not as excited as I am, Chris Bennett. Heck yeah. You asked me uh before uh uh we went on air, you asked me if this is gonna be a start of a new segment. What would that new segment be?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I think it should be entitled In Bed with Tony B.

SPEAKER_02:

Is that basically what we're doing right now?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, it's what, 5.30 in the morning right now? It's 7.50 in the morning. Oh no. I'm gonna be late for so many appointments. But yeah, I I am in still in bed, but I did wake up earlier to take care of my dog.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah, you you'd like to uh you don't get puppies, dude, do you?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh no, I do the exact opposite. I go to uh rescues and I say, what's the oldest dog you have here that nobody wants? And then that's the dog I take.

SPEAKER_02:

Aww, and what are your two dogs' names now?

SPEAKER_01:

Right now I have Jane and Bobo.

SPEAKER_02:

Jane and Bobo. Are you bringing them up uh with you to Sholo or are they staying uh uh down in uh the the valley?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, Bobo is basically a ghost right now, so he's pretty much with me wherever I go. But Jane is actually suited for long car rides, so I think I might bring up Jane.

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah, sweet! Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Awesome. Well, uh, Tony, I was wondering uh if we could uh play a game or two before I let you go.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02:

It is now time for rapid fire questions with Tony B. You ready?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm ready, let's do it.

SPEAKER_02:

Tony, uh, when did you first touch a mic and realize, hey, I'm funny?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh, that was in 2009, when I did improv for the first time.

SPEAKER_02:

Nice, in Chicago. That's where you got your start, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah, and then so you're doing improv, and then w uh when do you decide to make the switch to stand-up or do both?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh well, I made the switch to stand-up when they started having open mics there, and I did my first stand-up show, and like every friend I've ever had came out. So it was like this hundred-seater club, and everyone was there to see me, and I had a great first ever uh open mic stand-up show. First time I ever did stand-up, and then the second one, none of my friends came and I bombed. Right?

SPEAKER_02:

It's such a common story. Everyone's first time is usually the best. Mine was the worst, actually. Uh you uh get to perform with a lot of famous comedians. Who's the most famous uh comic you've ever worked with, or or funnest, or your favorite?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I'm gonna tell you my favorite. That was Rain Pryor, uh, Richard Pryor's daughter, you know? Uh-huh. She was even on head of the class, but Richard Pryor was my idol growing up, and uh to perform with her and talk to her, like about her dad, and she was so cool, and she was telling me stories about Richard Pryor, and that was my personal favorite, uh, because it just meant it meant a lot to me.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh you moved to Arizona what about 10 years ago?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh yeah, just about, well, let's see. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, a little longer than that. It's been about 12, 13 years. So from I can't keep track of time anymore, Chris.

SPEAKER_02:

From Chicago. Yeah. Yeah. So what's the most Arizona thing you've seen in your 13 years since uh moving here from Chicago?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I saw a uh well the other day, can I tell you the most Scotts because I live in Scottsdale, can I tell you the most Scottsdale thing I ever saw? Absolutely. I saw a beautiful blonde lady in a giant uh Cadillac Escalade viciously honk at an elderly person because when the light turned green, it didn't she didn't move right away. That's the most Scottsdale thing I ever saw.

SPEAKER_02:

You're from Chicago, now living in Scottsdale, Tony, so I thought we'd play a game called Chicago Man or Arizona Man. You ready?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_02:

Alright, I'll read a headline and you tell me if it's about an Arizona man or Chicago man. Man tries to rob a gas station with a burrito.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that sounds like Arizona Man to me.

SPEAKER_02:

I know. I started it off easy, but uh yeah, he he pretended it was a gun, but it was actually a burrito.

SPEAKER_01:

If it was if it was a piece of deep dish pizza, it would have been Chicago, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh a guy steals 600 pounds of brisket from a barbecue restaurant.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh man, that's very Chicago to me.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, you are right, dude. You are in touch with your Chicago and Arizona man. Uh Coyote walks into a bar, literally, and sits in a booth.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I gotta go Arizona man on that one.

SPEAKER_02:

You are right, that's right. And uh let's see. Thief steals snowblower in July. Oh man. Uh Chicago. Yeah, it's got we don't have uh well, maybe here in uh uh Sholow we have snowblowers, but I've seen I've seen some snow in Sholo before. Definitely, definitely. And last one, uh Mansoos City after slipping on deep dish pizza grease.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, there's there are Lou Mel Nottis out here and some Chicago deep dish staples, but I'm gonna have to go Chicago, man, on that one.

SPEAKER_02:

That is correct. What is your favorite uh Chicago style pizza in the valley?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I love Lou Mel Nottis. Uh they have my favorite deep dish. And so yeah, I'm gonna have to go with that.

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah. This is Tony B. He is one of our featured comedians on the Best of Phoenix stand-up comedy showcase. He's been on Laugh After Dark, tours the country, a very funny headliner, and so excited to have him be a part of this great showcase with other comedians, Cricket Gill, Zach Allen, and sorry Beliac. VIP tickets are almost gone. Get them today,$30, and general mission tickets$20 at Chris Bennett Comedy.com. Show is 21 and over. Tony, thanks for having fun with us, and I can't wait to see you November 1st. I had a great time.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm looking forward to it, best friend.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, bye, best friend.

SPEAKER_01:

Bye.

SPEAKER_02:

Good morning. It's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this?

SPEAKER_01:

This is Chris from Round Valley.

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah, Chris from Round Valley. You're calling to win two tickets to our show at the Sholo Elks Lodge November 1st at 6 30 p.m. Yes, sir. Are you over 21? I am. Heck yeah. Uh, all you have to do is play a fun little game with me. Today is World Statistics Day. So we're gonna play a game called Stat or Nat. And you gotta get three out of five correct to win these tickets. Sound good? Sounds good. All right, here we go. You swallow eight spiders a year in your sleep. Is that a stat or nah? That's a stat. Like, is that a true statistic that you swallow eight spiders?

SPEAKER_03:

I think it is true.

SPEAKER_02:

You think it's actually an urban legend, not uh uh according to the internet, but you're still alive. You're still alive. Uh next, uh, is this a stat or not? Only 10% of people can wiggle their ears.

SPEAKER_03:

I would say that's not true. A gnat.

SPEAKER_02:

Anat. Oh my god. That is an actual stat. That is, you know what? Oh, dang it. I'm gonna change it, Chris. If you get one right, you win, okay? All right, here we go. Next one.

SPEAKER_03:

More thanks for taking it easy on this.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. More uh, is this a stat or a gnat? More people are killed by vending machines each year than sharks.

SPEAKER_03:

I would say that's a gnat.

SPEAKER_02:

That is a stat. All right, you get two more questions. You just gotta get one of these right. All right, it's a stat or gnat. Bananas share about 60% of their DNA with humans.

SPEAKER_01:

I'd say that's a stat.

SPEAKER_02:

That is a stat. That doesn't even seem real, but holy moly, congratulations, Chris, from Round Valley. You just won two tickets. Compliments to comfort fit dentures. You'll feel comfortable always. To our best of Phoenix stand-up comedy showcase at the Solo Elk's Lodge, presented by Chris Bennett Comedy Productions. Get your tickets at Chris Bennett Comedy.com. Tickets are$30, General Mission 20. But Chris, you don't have to worry about that. You just won two tickets right now. What station hooked you up?

SPEAKER_03:

Two country.

SPEAKER_02:

Woo! You know it. Yee yeah, Paul from Beaumont, everyone's favorite redneck from Beaumont, Texas. Uh have you uh give us a little weight loss update? Are you still uh on stall or did you lose more weight from the fat shot?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh man, it's weird because I weighed the other morning and I was 246. I was like, heck yeah, can't really eat, can't really drink. And when I went away that evening, it was like 253. I was like, what in the heck is going on here?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, at night you always weigh more than you do in the morning. That's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that makes absolutely no sense. So ha have you gotten another shot? No, but I did go yeah, yeah, I got one last night. Oh, nice. I had to go buy some new jeans. Oh, new jeans?

SPEAKER_02:

Because you're losing so much weight. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, I had to put another hole in the belt. Yeah, so yeah, feeling pretty good.

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah. Are you confident enough to uh throw out the uh old jeans? Are you gonna keep them uh on standby just in case you gain the weight back?

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, I still fed them. I just had to cinch it up real good, but yeah, I was gonna keep them up in there. Not for the pair of gaining weight back, but you never know. Are you feeling smart this morning? Yeah, feeling pretty pretty feeling pretty smart, man. It's cool here. Feeling pretty frisky.

SPEAKER_02:

It is now time for Are You Smarter Than a Redneck with Paul from Beaumont. Today is World Statistics Day. Paul, so we're gonna do some World Statistics Day trivia. If you know the answer, say your name. That's your buzzer. You ready? All right. What percentage of the world's population lives in Asia? Is it A 50%? B 60%, C, 70%, or D 80%. Chris. I'm gonna say 50%. Nope, it is not 50%. It's either 60, 70, or 80, Paul. 60. It is 60. He's up 1-0. 60% of the world's population lives in Asia. Next question. What is the most common birthday in the United States? Is it October 5th? September 9th, July 7th or December 25th. Paul Paul. It is not July 7th, correct answer. September 9th. Isn't that about nine months from uh Valentine's Day? I don't know. I'm just saying. Oh, is it? Yeah. We're uh well, probably not, but I don't know. That's what I think. All right, we are tied at one apiece. This last question is gonna determine who the winner is. Here we go. Which country has the highest life expectancy as of 2025? Is it A Japan, B, Switzerland, C, Hong Kong, or D Australia? Chris, I'm gonna say Switzerland. It is not Switzerland.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay, good.

SPEAKER_02:

It's either Japan, Hong Kong, or Australia. What's your guess? Japan? It is not Japan. It is Hong Kong. 85 years, yeah. All right, we'll do one more. On average, how many cups of coffee are concerned consumed worldwide every day? A one billion, B, two billion, C three billion, or D five billion. Chris, B two billion. Gosh dang it. It's either one, three, or five. For the win. Oh you think it's five? Yeah. You and I tied. Correct answer, three billion. You are not smarter than a radio DJ, and I am not smarter than a redneck. Paul, we love you, buddy. I hope you have a great day and drive safe. So we're both dumb. We're both dumb. At least we didn't lose. A tie's better than a loss, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, all right. Well, y'all have a great day, man. We'll talk to y'all soon. All right, see you buddy. Bye.

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Chris Bennett

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