The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett

Hallmark Chaos, Harvard Melissa, Jerk Court & Giving Back

• Chris Bennett • Episode 162

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Today’s episode of The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett & Best Friends delivers everything from holiday hilarity to heartfelt community spirit.

We kick things off with Andrea’s Hallmark Christmas Movie Review of The Christmas Cup, a film so charmingly awkward it becomes comedy gold. Right on cue, Jan the Weather Man calls in with perfect timing — adding extra laughs and a little meteorological mischief.

Then the mystery ends: Producer Ryan finally proves his girlfriend “Harvard Melissa” is real! She joins us on-air with a story full of grit, humor, and the kind of college-life chaos that makes their relationship instantly iconic.

Next up, it’s “Am I the Jerk?” Court with Judge Jineane Ford from Majik 101.7 and ITalk 106.7. Today’s case dives into girl code, dating exes, and whether honesty is hurtful or simply overdue. The verdict? You’ll want to hear this one.

We then shift to something that truly matters. Mike Nilson from the Holbrook Emergency Food Bank joins us to share the real needs families are facing this season — and how you can help through the Light the World Giving Machine coming to Snowflake. From water and citrus to meals for kids and holiday food boxes, 100% of your donation goes straight to the people who need it most.

Finally, Paul from Beaumont sneaks in with classic redneck wisdom before taking on Chris in another round of Are You Smarter Than a Redneck? — complete with Christmas trivia, workplace chaos, and tape-related stress.

If this episode made you laugh, think, or feel inspired to give back, share it with a friend and leave a quick review. Let’s spread some holiday joy — and real help — across the White Mountains.

SPEAKER_08:

From the Horn Auto Center Studios, Chris Bennett and the Morning Brew. And now it's time for Chris's wife to give us her Christmas Hallmark movie reviews.

SPEAKER_05:

We are reviewing the Christmas Cup.

SPEAKER_08:

The Christmas Cup? Yes. Alright, uh, here's what I think it's about. I think it's about an old rancher who hasn't found love and he he uses chewing tobacco and he has a spit cup. And a new lady ranch hand comes on uh uh to help him out and she accidentally drinks from his spit cup. And uh they end up falling in love. I know, isn't it? Is that what the Christmas cup is about?

SPEAKER_05:

Nope, not at all.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, gosh, dang it. I was close. What's this really about?

SPEAKER_05:

So this is about an injured, I think she's like a staff sergeant, uh, a veteran, and so they've they've put her on medical leave, and so she is um encouraged to get involved with this annual Christmas cup. Snowflake, Shalom Pinehop, kind of they're real close together, but they are rival communities, but they're resources, and so she teams up with the fire chief who has to be neutral because he represents both towns. And you know, you know what they say far fly.

SPEAKER_08:

Nice.

SPEAKER_05:

He's trying to help her be a good coach because she feels you know, she is is doubting herself. Um, and so he's just trying to help her be a good coach to like elevate the competition, is what he's telling himself, but he's really just she's just real pretty.

SPEAKER_08:

Well, how many uh cups of cocoa do you give the Christmas cup?

SPEAKER_05:

You know, I did not it there were a couple things that bothered me. I think the writing, it wasn't the actor's fault, it was just the writing was um it was terrible. Like it there was just nothing to work with. And and then the actor, the hero I I'm terrible for saying this, but it was really and I don't think it was his fault because he's in other things and it never bothered me, so I think it was the camera angles, but he has the biggest nostrils ever, and it was very distracted.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh man, when you were describing it, it sounded good, but big nostrils will always rem uh ruin a good movie.

SPEAKER_04:

They were so big though, like like really abnormally large, and it may just be like the angles were not good for him. I don't know, but yeah, it I gave this one one and a half cups of cocoa.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh my gosh, you did not like this one. My wife says, skip the Christmas cup unless you have a thing for big nostrils, then check it out. My love, you're the best. I hope you have a great day. You do. Bye. Oh, we got a phone call from Jan the Weatherman, aka Jan from Heber. What's up?

SPEAKER_07:

Your wife cracked me up.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, you like her Hallmark Christmas movie reviews?

SPEAKER_07:

I like them this morning. The way she set it up. I mean, she's like, well, this guy, you know, he had big and she paused for a second and then said nostrils. Instead of instead of uh big nose and nostrils. I'm sitting here to roar and laugh, and I mean you got some competition at home now. She was she would have cracked me up.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, she's uh she's pretty awesome. Yeah. All right. Well, awesome. I'll talk to you tomorrow then, best friend. Uh okay. All right, bye. Good morning. It's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this? Hey, it's producer Ryan. Producer Ryan, Emmy Award-winning producer Ryan, and headliner Ryan McKee, that's gonna be appearing at Rocky's Cocktail Lounge Saturday, December 20th at 6 30 p.m. To what do we owe the honor of your phone call this morning, Ryan?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I wanted to prove to the listeners that yes, I have a girlfriend. That's right. Beaches at Harvard is a former Hooters waitress. Doesn't sound real. Doesn't sound real. Because I sound like a kid who says I have a girlfriend in Canada. Since I live in North Carolina. Right. But she is real. She's here. Do you want me to put her on the phone? Yeah, what's her name? Her name is Harvard Melissa.

SPEAKER_08:

Harvard Melissa. Melissa from Harvard will be her name on the morning brew. Alright, let me talk to is this Melissa from Harvard?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh, this is she. Hi.

SPEAKER_08:

Hi, now how much did Ryan pay you to say that you're his girlfriend?

SPEAKER_03:

He didn't have to pay me anything, believe it or not.

SPEAKER_08:

Really? This is all real. And you you teach at Harvard. I do, yes.

SPEAKER_03:

And you were a hooter waitress? Many, many years ago, but yes, that is also true.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, you see why this kind of sounds like uh Ryan might be uh making things up. But I I can't I can't believe uh that uh uh he didn't have to pay you anything.

SPEAKER_03:

No, nothing. Nothing at all. Oh, that's many, many years of uh, you know, just kind of uh being apart from each other.

SPEAKER_08:

So and you knew him when he was in college.

SPEAKER_03:

I did. I did know him when he was in college. Yeah, do you know him for a long time?

SPEAKER_08:

Do you have any embarrassing uh uh fact you would like to share with uh my audience about uh Ryan dating back to maybe his college days?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, this isn't embarrassing, but his apartment in Tempe, Arizona was always very, very hot, and we were talking about this last night because he was like, you never slept over. And I was like, Well, that's because it was so stifling and it felt like dangerous to sleep in there because it would get up into the hundreds. Um but you know, in his defense, and everyone's defense, like we were just poor college kids, so uh turning on the air conditioner was very expensive.

SPEAKER_08:

So well, uh Melissa from Harvard, it is an honor to get to meet you. And uh uh there you go, uh Brew Crew. Eat crow. She's real and she exists.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_08:

Thank you. Can I say goodbye to Ryan? Yes. Ha ha. See? Ha ha, dude. She even sounds hot. Oh, she is. She's super hot. Well, thank you so much, best friend. We had fun. So great to meet your totally real girlfriend. And uh, and everyone, make sure you go and buy your tickets to stand-up comedy at Rocky's Cocktail Lounge with headliner Ryan McKee for Saturday, December 20th at 6 30 p.m. It's a 21-over show, and tickets are$25 at Chris Bennett Comedy.com. Get them today. All right, so it is now time for Am I the Jerk Court? The Honorable Janine Ford presides. All right. All right, Janine, we have a juicy one for you today. This girl wants to know if she's the jerk uh if she's the jerk for telling a friend to deal with the consequences of disrespecting girl code. Here's the deal. I'm a 23-year-old living in a dorm with three other girls, and we've been close friends with the suite next door for over three years. One of the roommates, Elle, and one of the girls next door, Liz, both had long-term boyfriends, until both relationships ended about six months ago. Not long after Elle started secretly dating Liz's ex-boyfriend. When she told me, she asked for my honest opinion, and I told her, if Liz and the girls find out, they're gonna be furious because this breaks major girl code. If you're okay with them being mad, then do what makes you happy. Just be ready for the consequences. And Elle said the relationship was worth it. Well, fast forward over the past few weeks, Liz will host events that uh for everyone, but Elle isn't invited to, and Elle cries that she feels isolated and doesn't know how to regain Liz's trust. And I tell her that I told you there'd be consequences to your action, and there's nothing I can do to fix it. She gets mad at me for not supporting her relationship, her happiness, and I must not care about her because I still hang out with the gang. So, am I the jerk?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, you know, I don't know. This one's you some of them are difficult that you throw on me. This one doesn't seem difficult. I don't think she's the jerk. She's just telling her the truth, and and the girl know she must have known there are consequences to all of a sudden, you know, you know, dating the girlfriend's boyfriend right away and all that kind of stuff. So I this one seems simple. I don't think she's the jerk for speaking her peace, and that girl just needs to figure it out. I mean, she kind of, you know, she went down that road and she must have known that there were gonna be consequences of dating her friend's ex right away, you know?

SPEAKER_08:

That's a sticky situation. Is that girl a jerk for going in and dating one of her friends' exes?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh you know what? I think it's pretty tacky myself. I don't know all the situation. You never know. Um, but you if you give something some space and time and and weight, you know what I mean? But it sounds like it was, of course, quick, and everybody else is kind of like, whoa, that was that was tacky. Right. So I don't think she's the jerk for pointing it out, uh, you know, and she can hang with the group and see her old friend a little bit and still be friends with her, you know what I mean? Right. But it's but it's just yeah. And I don't like all the girl code and all that kind of stuff, that kind of drama. I'm like, whatever.

SPEAKER_08:

Right. Ha have you ever dated a friend's ex?

SPEAKER_00:

No.

SPEAKER_08:

No, would never do it.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I just I just, yeah, it didn't come up. No, yeah. I don't like, yeah, I don't like that kind of messy stuff. No.

SPEAKER_08:

Right. Well, in the case of Am I the Jerk for telling my friend to deal with the consequences of disrespecting girl code, Janine says you are not the jerk.

unknown:

No.

SPEAKER_08:

Thank you so much, best friend. Have a great day. You too, Chris. Love ya. Love you. Okay, bye-bye. I am so excited to have a guest in studio. It is Mike Nielsen with the Holbrook Emergency Food Bank, and they are one of the local nonprofits that you could donate to in the Light the World giving machine that's gonna be in Snowflake starting December 18th through January 1st. For those of you that don't know what the giving machine is, it's like a vending machine, but instead of getting yourself sugary treats and snacks, you're able to buy items for people in need. You could buy from national charities, you could buy uh uh chicken, you could buy water for people, and there's also local charities in the giving machine as well. And one of those uh uh nonprofits that are going to be in the giving machine in Snowflake is the Holbrook Emergency Food Bank. Uh Mike, thanks so much for joining us today.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, thank you for having me, Chris.

SPEAKER_08:

And uh Mike, tell us what is the Holebrook Emergency Food Bank? Who do you guys help? What do you guys do?

SPEAKER_01:

So we help people around the Holbrook area. If you're hungry, come and see us. We're we used to help about 160 people a month. We're now helping about 300 people a month. Uh every time you come and you're hungry, we'll we'll help you. We help in the Joseph City, Holbrook, Woodruff, Sun Valley, Adamana, Indian Wells area.

SPEAKER_08:

And where are you located in uh Holbrook?

SPEAKER_01:

So 216 Joy Nevin Avenue. So we're just north of the railroad tracks. So if you're coming from the south, you pass the tracks, you turn right, we're a block and a half on the left.

SPEAKER_08:

All right. We are talking to Mike Nielsen. He's with Holbrook Emergency Food Bank. They are one of the local nonprofits that you could donate to at the giving machine in Snowflake starting December 18th. And the great thing about the giving machine is a hundred percent of the money you donate goes towards that item and towards that uh nonprofit. Now, Mike, what are some things uh that will be in the giving machine that people can buy to help the Holebrook Emergency Food Bank?

SPEAKER_01:

A lot of people don't know that there's areas around Holebrook where the water's not drinkable, it's too salty, and so one of the main things will be you can buy a hundred bottles of water, which will be distributed to those people that live in the Attamana Sun Valley area where they don't have good potable water. You can also buy citrus, which will be distributed to families, uh dinner for two. We have dinner for we have dinner every Thursday, and you can buy a dinner for two people, peanut butter, and jelly for five dollars. You can buy peanut butter and jelly to help a child. Also, you can get baking essentials, uh, like that includes oil, flour, and sugar, so people can bake in their homes.

SPEAKER_08:

And what are the uh the ranges and uh cost for some of these items?

SPEAKER_01:

So I think we go from five dollars to like fifty dollars.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, so every little bit uh helps. You could go to the giving machine, and it feels so good to uh give back and help people. And the Holbrook Emergency Food Bank does so many great things for our community and helping those in need. And so if you're able to head to the giving machine this year starting December 18th, uh go ahead and uh donate to the Holebrook Emergency Food Bank. You could get bottles of water to help uh people that don't have uh water that's uh you're able to drink, citrus dinner for two, peanut butter and jelly, uh just uh a lot of great items that are gonna make a huge difference. Benefiting the Holebrook Emergency Food Bank. Make sure you check out the Giving Machine, the Light the World Giving Machine, starting in Snowflake at the Heritage House, happening December 18th through January 1st. We talked about the uh great items you can donate to the Holbrook Emergency Food Bank through the Light the World Giving Machine. 100% of your uh donations go to benefit the charities that you donate to. And I know you guys have an event coming up December 20th that you can use some uh volunteers for. Uh what do you need?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so we we make up about 140 boxes of Christmas food for for families. It's about enough for four people for four days, and it's holiday food. And on December 20th, from 7 a.m. till 9 a.m., we put these boxes together, and then from 9 a.m. until noon, we distribute these boxes. And we are always in need of some volunteers if you can drive or if you can if you can help us just load these boxes. We make a big assembly line in the senior center with tables and we just push the box along. You might put oil or flour or sugar or pancakes or up, and we make these boxes up.

SPEAKER_08:

Awesome. And if people uh want to help out on December 20th to help you pack these boxes and deliver these food boxes, uh, who do they contact? How do they get involved?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, they can text me directly. My uh my cell phone is 928-587-0884. And if they wanted to text me, that's probably the best way to get a hold of me.

SPEAKER_08:

All right, and then you could also go on Facebook, check out Holbrook Emergency Food Bank if they want to send you a message there.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. And also our our phone number is uh 928-524-6044. And we are open every day from noon until 2 to help people.

SPEAKER_08:

Noon until 2. It's the Holbrook Emergency Food Bank. If you need help or if you want to help, go ahead and give them a call. And they are going to be at the Giving Machine in Snowflake, the Light the World Giving Machine, starting December 18th. And uh you can go and donate to them and help them out. Thank you so much, uh, Mike, for all uh the great works you do in the White Mountains and for helping those in need. We appreciate you and appreciate you being on the show today.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you, Chris.

SPEAKER_08:

Woo!

SPEAKER_06:

That's Bob Lord!

SPEAKER_08:

Oh my goodness gracious. We I feel like you've dropped from the uh face of the earth. It is so good to hear from Paul from Beaumont, everyone's favorite redneck out of uh Beaumont, Texas. Um, what we wh why haven't you been calling?

SPEAKER_06:

Hey, I've man, Wreck It Ralph, better known as RD, you've been breaking everything, you know, you've been giving me a headache. I've been having to deal with stuff. Stuck in the office. I've been having to yeah, I don't like being a boss.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, they made you a boss about two months ago, and I don't like it at all.

SPEAKER_06:

I don't like it with Wreck It Ralph.

SPEAKER_08:

What's the worst part about being a boss?

SPEAKER_06:

Wreck it Ralph.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh anything new and uh juicy with Paul? I feel like we haven't talked to you in weeks. Uh last I checked, you were still taking the fat shot. Uh you were down, I think, below 240. What are you doing now?

SPEAKER_06:

Well, I haven't took it. I haven't taken it probably going on four weeks. I'm staying right there between 240 and 245. I ain't gaining weight, so uh Mr. Know It All Lawyer was wrong. Yeah, yeah. Okay, it's not just not coming back. I'm staying fit and trim. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, so that shot basically make it makes it where you don't want to eat a whole lot. Now that you're not taking the shot, have you started to see you're getting into some of your old habits, or are you still sticking pretty good to the diet?

SPEAKER_06:

I'm still sticking pretty good to it, man. I don't really I don't I don't I don't need the the junk food I used to. Like I used to, I still don't drink as many Dr. I mean I might want two Dr. Peppers and then water. That was the big that was the biggest thing was the Dr. Pepper.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, the Dr. Pepper. Got rid of the Dr. Pepper.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, man, I was drinking I was drinking like five or six extra large big bowls a day before I got home.

SPEAKER_08:

Wow. Yeah, that's like a thousand calories just right there.

SPEAKER_06:

If not more, man.

SPEAKER_08:

If not more. It is now time for Are You Smarter Than a Redneck? We are gonna do some Christmas trivia edition. Do you have your Christmas shopping done, Paul? Nope, I thought I did. Oh, you thought you did? Then what happened? Rhindy didn't order her gift. Oh, your wife is supposed to order her own gift?

SPEAKER_06:

Look, man, she does all the Amazon stuff. She gave me about four or five different makes, about three or four different bottles. Uh huh. I was specific. I sent her specifically what I wanted. Right. Okay, she's ordered it the same day. So I figured she ordered it. She just told me today. Uh you ordered my son what you mean to order. I thought you did.

SPEAKER_08:

You better order it, buddy. You're gonna be in big trouble. Well, she better be specific because I don't know which one she wants.

SPEAKER_06:

What does she want? Some kind of laser printer. And she was telling me, oh yeah, they say this one's like a disposable one. Oh, this one. Yeah, this doesn't have good reviews. I don't know. I might have to look into it a little further. And then she's gonna give me some grease because I did order something. Come on, man.

SPEAKER_08:

Alright, Paul, we're gonna do some. Random Christmas trivia. If you know the answer, say your name. That's your buzzer. They're multiple choice. Here we go. What is the most dangerous decoration, according to ER reports? Is it A. Icicle lights? B. Glass ornaments. C cats knocking down the whole tree or D inflatable Santa flying away. Paul. Uh uh, the the glass uh ornaments? Glass ornaments? No. I'm gonna say inflatable Santa flying away. No. Correct answer. Cats knocking down the whole tree.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, we gotta worry about Gilbert. We came home the other day. He had an ornament wrapped around his tail.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh no, you're uh your dog?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, he got up and he tree jacking with the tree. He got an ornament wrapped around his around his tail. Looking like he ain't got into the tree.

SPEAKER_08:

All right, next question. According to legend, what happens if you catch someone kissing your partner under the mistletoe? A, you get to keep the mistletoe. B, you get a kiss Santa. C, you get in a Hallmark movie. Or D, you get a kiss them too. Chris, you get a kiss them too. I'm up 1-0. Woo woo woo! That's creepy, man. That's creepy. That is creepy. Yeah, so Paul, you're not gonna if if you found uh Rhonda kissing someone under the mistletoe, you're not going to uh go ahead and give her a kiss or give them a kiss? No, hey, hell no. All right, Paul, I'm up 1-0. If you get this last one right, uh, we move on uh to sudden death. If you don't, it's over. What's the number one thing people forget to buy before wrapping gifts? Is it tape, scissors, actual presents, or batteries? Chris. Paul. Uh Paul, go ahead. Paul Paul. Oh, go ahead. Batteries. Batteries. It is not batteries. Chris, I'm gonna say tape. It is tape. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, god. I am smarter than a redneck. Did we lose you? Yo, yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we love you, Paul. Thanks for calling in.

SPEAKER_06:

I'll tell you what, if it was if it was on the meat, man, everybody just get gift cards.

SPEAKER_08:

Just gift cards, no presents.

SPEAKER_06:

No, gift cards.

SPEAKER_08:

Awesome. Well, Paul, thanks for calling in, buddy.

SPEAKER_06:

Go do what you want, buy what you want.

SPEAKER_08:

All right, buddy. We love you. I gotta let you go. Oh, okay. Bye, buddy. Bye.

Contributor

Chris Bennett

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