The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett

Are We Smarter Than a Redneck? Jokes, Toilet Paper & Total Boos

• Chris Bennett • Episode 179

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Today’s Morning Brew with Chris Bennett & Best Friends is packed from start to finish with laughs, friends, and just enough chaos to keep things interesting.

We kick things off by checking in with Paul from Beaumont, putting our brains to the test to see if we’re actually smarter than a redneck. Then we catch up with our best friend Jineane Ford, sharing some genuinely good news before things take a sharp turn into comedy.

Next up, it’s the Boo or Cool Joke Challenge, where Chris takes real news headlines and tries to turn them into jokes on the spot. Show Low’s own Dave Ramsey serves as judge—and let’s just say… every single joke gets a hard BOO.

Things get personal when Chris calls his wife Andrea to find out how she’s saving money in the new year, which somehow leads to a full discussion about buying cheaper toilet paper. From there, Producer Ryan calls in with some big career news, and we wrap with a podcast-only segment featuring Ryan’s 21-year-old roommate Joe from Wilmington, talking new jobs, adult lessons, and the kind of wisdom you only get from real life.

It’s friends being friends, jokes that don’t land, and stories you didn’t know you needed—exactly what The Morning Brew does best.

SPEAKER_02:

From the Horn Auto Center Studios, Chris Bennett and the Morning Brew. Woo! That's Bob Vlog! Beaumont says so! Good morning, it's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this? Yay, yay! Yay! Everyone's favorite redneck from Beaumont, Texas. It's Paul from Beaumont Buddy. We didn't talk to you yesterday. What was going on? Oh man, my trunk was in the shop and I was stuck in the office. Ah, dang it. And now you're kind of a big boss, so you're in the office more and on the phone with us less less.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh only the only the something's in the shop, and I can't be on the road.

SPEAKER_02:

Um well, Paul, today is technology day. Uh I'm gonna list some interesting uh tech technological advances, and you tell me if they're real or fake. You ready? Yeah, okay. All right. How about a smart fridge that tells you when you're out of milk? Real or fake? Right. No, that's real. That's real. They use it a lot in hospitals for medicine, but you could use it in your uh uh fancy refrigerage. Uh what about a smart water bottle that reminds you to drink water? Right? No, that's real. That's real. What about a pillow that snores back at you to stop snoring? Oh, that's that's gonna be fine. That is big. Oh, this sounds good with these cold winter mornings. A phone case that heats up your hands in the winter. I'll say that's real. That's real. And what about uh long john thongs? Uh underwear that keeps you sexy and warm in the winter. Only if you can show low and Chris Pitty. That's right. Patent pending, do not steal my idea. It is now time for Are You Smarter Than a Redneck and Paul from Beaumont on this National Technology Day? I thought we would do some technological trivia. If you know the answer, say your name. That's your buzzer. You ready? I guess, man. All right, first question. What does Wi-Fi actually stand for? Is it A wireless fidelity? B, wide frequency, C, wireless internet, or D, it doesn't officially stand for anything. Chris, I'm gonna say wireless fidelity. A? No, it is not. Paul, it is not. You have a chance to steal. A B? Wait what? B as in boy or D as in dog? Yeah, B as in boy. B as in boy, no, it's D as in dog. It says it doesn't officially stand for anything. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. All right, next one. What was the first item ever sold on the internet? Was it a book, a pizza, a C D or a computer? Riss. I'm gonna say a computer. Nope, not a computer. What's your guess, Paul? Uh no, the correct answer? C D. This last question will determine who the winner is. If we don't get it right, it goes to sudden death. Here we go. What year was the first iPhone released? Was it 2001, 2005, 2007, or 2010? Chris, I'm gonna say 2007. It is 2007. I am smarter than a redneck on this technology day. Sorry, bud. No, that's fine, man. I'm not I'm I'm technologically challenged. Awesome. We'll drive safe. We're glad we got to talk to you, and uh, we'll talk to you tomorrow, I hope.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, buddy. Y'all have a great one.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, see you, buddy, bye. Janine, you there?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah, happy taco about something good Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, happy Tuesday.

SPEAKER_02:

You want to share some good news? Let's do it. I'll go first. All right. This one's a uh uh juicy one. This comes out of a hospital in Iowa that reminded us that healthcare is a whole lot more than medicine. Uh sometimes it's item recovery. That's right. At the uh Grundy County, at the Grundy County Memorial Hospital, a woman uh named Susan came in for routine uh procedure and she took off her heirloom earrings and uh their special rings that were passed down from her grandfather. She wrapped them in a napkin and then Janine accidentally threw them away. Yeah. By the time she realized what happened, the trash had already been uh compacted. And uh instead of the hospital just saying, sorry, there's nothing we can do about it, they stepped up in a big way. And then the imaging manager, a guy named Craig, teamed up with the hospital's waste management crew and they emptied the compactor, about 60 garbage bags, ran metal detectors over them, and any bag that beeped was set aside, and then they used the mobile X-ray machine and spent 45 minutes scanning trash bags until they finally spotted the rings. They found them, Janine.

SPEAKER_01:

And uh And this all happened in the hospital. She lost him in the hospital. Yeah, she lost him.

SPEAKER_02:

But really, if you're gonna take off like heirloom earrings, shouldn't you just leave them at home?

SPEAKER_01:

Like, yeah, yeah, people forget they'll go in for a surgery or it's an emergency or something. Oh, yeah. And they forget. And sometimes I know one nurse, uh, when I got AirVac down recently, they had like a pill, big pill bottle thing, and she says, Oh, take these off. Let's put this in here, put it in your purse. She was so crazy careful with it.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, nice. Yeah, this this lady obviously was overwhelmed with gratitude and said she couldn't believe how many people joined in to help and help her find these.

SPEAKER_01:

So, electrical.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so it's something good to talk about. All right, Janine, I'm ready for your good news on this talk about something good Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I have a special guest to deliver our good news, and it's so important. This is super important. We're talking about the pit count. It's gonna run January 28th through February 1st. I have Alexis Hernandez here. And Alexis, tell us the group you're part of.

SPEAKER_00:

It's the SitGreaves Community Development Corporation.

SPEAKER_01:

Sitgreaves Community Development Corporation, so important. Why is this pit count so important, Alexis?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's going to give our community the help that we need to help our homelessness, um, especially in the winter up here. We have a lot of individuals living in cars, living in RVs, living without heat. They need some help during these times.

SPEAKER_01:

And it's so important because this is the count, Chris, where everybody we get an actual count. We have to have the numbers. So, um, Alexis, how can we help with this?

SPEAKER_00:

So, to get these numbers, I need volunteers. We have two very large spread-out counties. I need volunteers, I need donations. We have a number of drop-off sites all over the White Mountains. Um, if you want to call me for either a drop-off site or if you want to volunteer, my phone number is 928-245-4144. You can call or text.

SPEAKER_01:

And give us that number again.

SPEAKER_00:

It is 928-245-4144.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, everybody, get involved with the pit count because this is how in Navajo and Apache County, right? Yes. Talking to gigantic counties, they need to count all of these people in need. So that's how important this is to be.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's counting all the people experiencing homelessness or or or great need.

SPEAKER_01:

Great, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yeah. Homelessness to underhoused. That's anybody not hooked up to utilities, whether you're living in a shed, a car, an RV, you're living in a tent, or any other stereotype of not being housed.

SPEAKER_01:

Um no heat, yeah, all those things, all the above. And last year they did this, Chris, and it was so successful. We got huge numbers, and that's what it's all about is giving the state accurate numbers.

SPEAKER_02:

So they know how much to give us so that we can help those in need, right? Oh, perfect. Okay. So it's a pick count, and then again, what is the number uh people want to help volunteer and uh help out?

SPEAKER_00:

You can call or text me at 928-245-4144.

SPEAKER_01:

There we go, everybody. Help out. Thanks so much.

SPEAKER_02:

On this talk about something good Tuesday. Bye, best friend. Bye-bye. On the phone, we have one of my best friends, Solo Zone, Dave Ramsey, star of Boo or Cool. How are you doing on this Talk About Something Good Tuesday? Okay. You got anything good to talk about on uh Talk About Something Good Tuesday? Nah. No, nothing. Uh I thought we'd bring back a segment I haven't done in a while. It's called Joke Challenge Tuesday. I find headlines, Dave, and then I try and come up with the joke pretty much on the spot. And uh we'll have you rank 'em boo or cool. Does that sound like fun? Sounds fun. All right, here we go. Here's the first headline, and then I'll give you the joke. Headline. Man who stole mandolins from music store returns them with note saying he was drunk. Alright, that's the headline. Here's the joke. A man who stole mandolins from music store returns them with note saying he was drunk, and he thought that they were pregnant guitars. The mandolins, because they, you know, they look like pregnant guitars. Is that boo or cool?

SPEAKER_04:

And a boo.

SPEAKER_02:

Alright, what about this one? A woman set Walmart baby cribs ablaze with camping fuel as the store was full of customers on New Year's Eve, causing five million in damages, authorities say. The woman was quoted as saying, Oh, bait, bait, bait, bait. How was I supposed to know the cribs would catch on fire? Boo. Boo or cool. Do you even know what I was referencing? That was like a Britney Spears reference to her song Baby. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04:

That was a boo.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, gosh dang it. Okay. Alright, here's the last headline. I'm not doing good today. Hopefully, next time I fare better. Alright. Uh, here's the headline: Robot Dogs with Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg's face. Poop AI generated art at the Art Basil, Miami. The robot dog's faces still have more emotion in them than Elon and Mark Zuckerberg.

SPEAKER_04:

I thought you were gonna say one good turd deserves another.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh gosh, you beat me in the joke challenge there, Dave. You're the best. Well, I went 0 for 3 today, but uh you totally saved it, buddy. Thanks for having fun with us and uh being our boo or cool judge for Joke Challenge Tuesday.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, thank you. See ya, bye.

SPEAKER_02:

Bye, have a good day. You too. On the phone, I'm so honored to have my beautiful wife, Andrea. And uh, it is the new year, and so a lot of people have some resolutions that they're making. One of the big ones is to save money. And my wife is always trying to save money. She's super good at finding the good deals. And uh, do you want to tell everyone on the mountain what is one item you're trying to save some money on in uh 2026?

SPEAKER_03:

Toilet paper. Toilet paper.

SPEAKER_02:

So my wife does all the shopping, my head's buried in the sand. So toilet paper has gotten pricey, you say. And uh you found a way to save some money? Is this like a Netflix for toilet paper or or what what what did you find?

SPEAKER_03:

It's called Who Gives a Crap.

SPEAKER_02:

And then how much is the toilet paper so much cheaper than the stuff at the store?

SPEAKER_03:

I know for sure. It we haven't tried it out. It just arrived yesterday. So, um, but I think uh nice white sometimes toilet paper, like if it's like three pie, then it like it lasts longer, but it's more expensive, you know. So I just need to try it and see.

SPEAKER_02:

But yeah, this is uh tissue paper made from bamboo fibers.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, they also have like a recycled tissue paper product, but I went with the bamboo.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that. I don't want to do recycled toilet paper. The worst thing about this, I love the idea of saving money, but the worst thing is how they deliver this uh to you. Uh what? Wait, it's just a big box, and what does it say on the box?

SPEAKER_03:

It says, who gives a crap in like huge letters. It's a little embarrassing.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on, a little more discreet uh shipping would be amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

And it was set on our porch, like just like with that facing out. I don't know if they did that on purpose, but I didn't notice it until like later in the day, and like, oh, okay, that's nice.

SPEAKER_02:

That's nice. Well, uh, I can't wait to give everyone reviews on this uh new toilet paper, see if we could help save them out and uh some money on toilet paper. I love you, my love.

SPEAKER_03:

Good, love you.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, bye-bye.

SPEAKER_03:

Bye.

SPEAKER_02:

Good morning. It's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this? It's Mr. Ryan McKee. Heck yeah. Producer Ryan, how are you doing on this talk about something good Tuesday? You have anything good to talk about? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

I just got hired for a big job that's gonna take me to wait for it.

SPEAKER_02:

The Super Bowl! Oh no way! Holy do you get to actually go watch the Super Bowl too?

SPEAKER_06:

No, I don't get to go in the Super Bowl. I'm creating content for a company, which maybe you've heard of. It's called Intuit. Oh they own QuickBooks.

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah, dude, that's huge, man. Congratulations!

SPEAKER_06:

Thank you. That's my good news for today.

SPEAKER_02:

That's great news. I love it. Uh, I uh did a little joke challenge today, and uh Dave Ramsey was the uh the judge, boo or cool. And uh you and I played that game with him before, and he's uh he's a harsh judge. He's a harsh judge.

SPEAKER_06:

You never know what's gonna tickle him, you know?

SPEAKER_02:

You never know. Uh none of my jokes got a laugh. Can I give them to you and you tell me if he was right? Okay. Alright, here's the headline. A man who stole mandolins from music store returns them with notes saying he was drunk. Okay? That's the uh the headline, the setup. Here's the punchline. Uh he was drunk and he thought that the guitars were pregnant. So that's why he stole the mandolins.

SPEAKER_04:

Boo.

SPEAKER_02:

All right. What about this headline?

SPEAKER_06:

Dave was right on that one.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it's funny for a guy to be so drunk that he thinks mandolins are drunk guitars, so he takes them because he thinks, you know, they're gonna give birth to cute little baby guitars. I think that's funny. All right.

SPEAKER_06:

Here's the next one. You have to explain it so it's not funny.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, good point. All right, here's the next headline. Woman set Walmart baby cribs ablaze with camping fuel as store was full of customers on New Year's Eve, causing five million in damages, authorities say. The lady was quoted as saying, oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know? The cribs would catch on fire.

SPEAKER_06:

Cool. Oh, there we go. The performance, the performance uh got me.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, that's most of my jokes. It's mostly performance. Writing is a very small portion. All right. I also had another one for that. Uh uh managers just thought it was a regular day at Walmart.

SPEAKER_06:

Yep, good, good.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, cool. And uh last uh headline robot dogs with Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg's faces poop AI generated art at Art Basil, Miami. My punchline was the robot uh dog faces still had more emotion than Elon and Mark. Cool. Oh, oh heck yes! Dude, so Dave said I was oh for three, you say I was two for three.

SPEAKER_06:

Absolutely. Dave is too harsh to critic. He must have been in a bad mood.

SPEAKER_02:

Awesome. Well, sweet. Well, our radio show is done this week. Can I give you can I give you one of my new jokes? Oh, absolutely. We'd love it, you know.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. Um I'm a divorced bipolar alcoholic. So you know, I'm a triple threat.

SPEAKER_02:

Triple threat to myself. But you're so do you still uh identify as an alcoholic even though you're like recovering and like you haven't drank in what? Hasn't it almost been a year?

SPEAKER_06:

I it'll be a year on January 20th. And as AA has taught me, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you're in recovery.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, dude, I'm so proud of you, man. Pretty exciting. One year, and just to see what you've done in a year in your recovery, it's very inspirational. I love it.

SPEAKER_06:

Thank you. Yes. I am an inspiration to all.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, but Dave Ramsey says totally boo.

SPEAKER_06:

To my recovery or to my grading of your joke.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I was joking, like to your recovery, but he didn't really say that. He didn't really say that. I was just being funny. All right. Well, we love you, best friend, and uh hopefully we'll talk to you again. Oh, go ahead.

SPEAKER_06:

Joey just walked in. You wanted him to say hi?

SPEAKER_02:

Heck yeah. Hold this. Is literally uh going on just the podcast uh right now. So yeah, uh bring uh bring Joey on. Joey, you there? I am holy moly, Joey is uh producer Ryan, who's 46 years old, his 21-year-old roommate. We haven't talked to you in a long time. Understand uh you have a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_05:

I do. I have a girlfriend now, shockingly. And uh she's way out of my league.

SPEAKER_02:

So uh yeah, once uh you started uh dating a girl, we never hear from you anymore.

SPEAKER_05:

That's how it usually goes.

SPEAKER_02:

Is there anything uh new and juicy we should know about Joey? Anything exciting that's happened in your life, embarrassing?

SPEAKER_05:

Uh work at a at a gym now and no longer in the uh at the restaurant anymore. And uh you know if you want free material, go work at a gym.

SPEAKER_02:

What do you do at the uh gym? Are you like the person that checks people in and gives them a table?

SPEAKER_05:

Check people in and give them a table.

SPEAKER_02:

What's the grossest thing or the worst part? And try and be as radio friendly as you can.

SPEAKER_05:

And instead of getting it in the toilet, he straightened back walls.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, gross. And then and then they call Jelly.

SPEAKER_05:

They called Jelly, they called the new guy. It was my second day working there. Yeah, I uh I'm no longer gonna be his 21 year old roommate after uh January 30th. I'm gonna be a twenty-two year old roommate.

SPEAKER_02:

Holy moly, our little boy is growing up. What are you going to do for your 22nd birthday?

SPEAKER_05:

Probably hang out with my out-of-league girlfriend. What? And we're gonna throw a party. Me and Ryan. We're gonna throw a little little gift together.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, uh Brian, are you gonna throw it for Joey or are you throwing it in conjunction with Joey?

SPEAKER_06:

Let's be honest. It's in conjunction, but I'll probably be doing most of it.

SPEAKER_02:

So what is one of the most valuable or interesting things you learned about yourself at the age of 21?

SPEAKER_06:

Uh you've learned a lot this year. I I have an adult now. I know.

SPEAKER_05:

Um yeah, probably that just, you know, things aren't easy. That's it. That's it.

SPEAKER_02:

That's it. That's true. I'm glad you learned it at 21. Things aren't easy, but that doesn't mean you don't try. You just have to go a little harder. Absolutely. Sweet. And uh then we have uh well, I I hope to talk to you before Valentine's Day again, Joey, because I want to find out what uh you're gonna get your uh girlfriend for Valentine's Day. But it was so good to check in with you and uh Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_06:

I got a quick Joey story of something he just recently learned. Oh, dude, this is a juicy episode. Okay, what you got? So I was vacuuming and then I was emptying the vacuum dust out of it, you know? Uh-huh. And Joey's lived here probably six months, and he goes, Oh, I didn't know there was that thing. He's never emptied the vacuum because he he didn't know where all the dirt went.

SPEAKER_02:

What did you think? It just like just magically disappeared, Joey? Or yeah, I thought the vacuum like evaporated the dust, like everybody else. That sounds like an awesome invention. Did you know, Joey, that you also need to change the oil in your car? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_06:

You know what? He does know that because he didn't change it for a while and it messed it up.

SPEAKER_02:

He learned his lesson. Well, awesome. Well, dude, so excited for you to turn 22. Thanks so much, uh, guys, for uh checking in with me. We miss you and hopefully we'll talk to y'all soon.

SPEAKER_06:

Definitely.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. All right, best friends, that will do it for today's episode of the morning brew with Chris Bennett and best friends. Like, follow, subscribe, and share, please.

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Chris Bennett

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