Am I The Jerk Court: The Mayo Lunch Trial

The morning starts with a small-world moment when Paul from Beaumont, Texas calls with an update—and tells us he spotted a car with a Show Low, Arizona license plate frame all the way in Texas. Proof the world is smaller than we think.

Then it’s Am I The Jerk Court Wednesday, and today’s case might be one of the most divisive yet: a husband who puts mayo on absolutely everything brings his wife lunch at work… completely covered in mayonnaise. He thought he was surprising her with a special sauce. She says after 10 years together he should know better. The courtroom weighs in and the verdict is delivered.

Lou joins as today’s courtroom assistant judge and wins two tickets to our upcoming comedy show at the Show Low Elks Lodge on March 14th, presented by Chris Bennett Comedy and Alibertos.

Later we check in with Jan from Heber (aka Jan the Weather Man) who gives us a local weather update and tells us about the surprising thing he can watch for hours—his kittens playing with their toys.

Then Debbie from Springerville calls in on her birthday, gets an on-air Happy Birthday serenade, and requests a song from former Country Climb Star of the Week Cole Bradford – “Girl Dad.”

It’s a morning full of small-town moments, laughs, and one very questionable condiment choice.

🎟 Stand-Up Comedy Night – March 14
Show Low Elks Lodge – Doors open at 5pm
Alibertos Food Truck & Bar on site
Show starts at 6:30pm

GA Tickets: $25
 VIP Reserved (almost sold out): $35

Get tickets at
 chrisbennettcomedy.com

Follow @colebradfordmusic and check out his song Girl Dad.

Transcript

Beaumont Catch-Up And Hiring Woes

SPEAKER_00 0:00

From the Horn Auto Center Studios, Chris Bennett and the Morning Brew. Woo!

SPEAKER_01 0:06

That's Bob Log!

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Kap Beaumont says so! Holy moly, yay, yay! Paul from Beaumont! We have not had you on a live show in a while. What the heck's been going on?

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Well, we kind of had to demote somebody in Beaumont, so I've been I've been uh stuck in town. Now I'm in Houston today for today. Then I'll probably be back in Beaumont Thursday and Friday. So you've just been having to buy somebody else. Gotta find somebody else, man. Fire somebody hard, man.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Yeah, firing or hiring them is hard. Hiring. Hiring? Yeah. Why? Why is that so hard?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

You can't find, I mean, because the age and then you gotta find somebody. I mean, it's just hard, bro. It's hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Do you have an easy time firing people or demoting them? I uh could never do it. I'm awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

I didn't had to, I I didn't Well, when you make it easy to get fired, I I don't have a problem firing you.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Yeah, you fire yourself. I didn't fire you.

A Show Low Sighting In Texas

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Heck yeah. And dude, guess what? Yesterday I was going through Lumberton, Texas, and I saw I saw this Toyota, right? And guess what it had on the license plate frame? What? Sholo, Arizona. No way. Holy moly. Yeah, for real, for real. So I I was like, hey, are y'all are y'all in uh are y'all from Sholo? They were like, no, I just bought the truck there.

Am I The Jerk Court: The Mayo Case

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Did you tell them you're a pretty big deal in Solo? Yeah, I sure did. Awesome. All right, it's now time for Am I the Jerk Court. Today's judge is caller number one and the honorable Lou from Snowflake. Are you ready for uh to solve the case of Am I the Jerk?

unknown 2:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

All right, here we go, Lou. Here's the story. My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years, and during that time, I've discovered something horrifying. He puts mayo on everything pizza, pasta, mashed potatoes, rice, meat, and not just a little bit either. He smothers it in mayonnaise. I've told him for years how much it grosses me out. The other day I was having a rough shift at work and forgot to bring lunch. My husband kindly offered to bring me something. He showed up with rice, broccoli, and sausage. I was excited until I opened the container and saw mayo everywhere. It was mixed in the rice on the sausage all over it. I asked him, in 10 years have you ever seen me put mayo on my rice? He said he was trying to surprise me with a special sauce made from mayo and my favorite hot sauce. He says I'm ungrateful. I say he should know better. Am I the jerk? What say you?

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Oh no, I mean, after 10 years he should know that she doesn't like it.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Ah, good point. But he was trying to force his mayo, his love of mayo on her by trying to create a special sauce for her. Do you buy that or?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

I mean, if she doesn't like mayonnaise, he should know now.

Listener Verdict And Comedy Ticket Giveaway

Jan’s Take, Weather, And Kittens

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Yeah. So she's so she's not she's not the jerk. No, she should have just solved DoorDash. Heck yeah. Lou from Snowflake Rules, you are not the jerk. Go ahead and order yourself some DoorDash because your husband is idiot. Lou, congratulations. You just won two tickets to our comedy show. Chris Bennett Comedy and Alabertos presents stand-up comedy at the Sholo Elks Lodge Saturday, March 14th. Compliments of Comfort Fit Dentures, you'll feel comfortable always. What station hooked you up? That's right. And if you weren't as lucky as Lou from Snowflake, you could get your tickets at Chris Bennett Comedy.com. General Mission tickets are$25 and VIP in the front. Reserve seating is almost sold out. Those are$35. Get your tickets today at Chris Bennett Comedy.com. Good morning. It's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this? Jan. Jan the weather man, aka Jan from Heber. Holy moly, Jan, it has been a while. Uh first off, Jan, did you hear the uh Am I the Jerk court case about the lady being mad at her husband giving uh her food that has mayonnaise in it and she hates mayonnaise?

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Yeah, I heard it.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

And what do you think?

SPEAKER_02 5:13

He doctored it up with some hot, hot you know, sauce. So I mean I'd probably do the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Oh, okay. Oh, you you would force your love of Mayo onto your uh wife?

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Well, uh, I don't know how long she'd be my wife, but but you would do the same.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

So uh so uh you think she is the jerk.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Well, what's up, Jan? What can I do you for today?

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Oh, not a whole lot. I was wanted to hear some Chris Stableton. Ooh, heck yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Well, uh, it's been a while since we've heard from us. One, first, give us a uh unofficial weather update.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Uh gonna clue off. Uh last n I mean, this last night it got nippy. So uh probably a couple of days in nights anyway, we're gonna be lower uh in uh like low 60s.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

All right. Do you are we going to get any more snow this season, Jan? What's your prediction?

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I would say we're gonna have a cold spell come in, and we're gonna get some more snow.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Alright, I hope so. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. And uh any updates on Jan and your kittens?

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Uh well, I just found the ball. It's a ball that the girl plays with, and she hides it, you know, when she's done playing.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

So the other kitty can't get it. And then she forgets where she hit it, and she runs all over the place looking for it, and she just found it, and she's been looking for like four days now. You don't have to Oh, go ahead. Well, she she brings the ball to me or pass it to me on the floor and wants me to pick it up and throw it down the hallway. I my back gets loosened up pretty good bending over and picking up the ball.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Oh, there you go. Good exercise. And you don't have a TV, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:32

I have one, but I don't have it hooked up.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

Yeah, so I mean, there's no better entertainment when you don't have a TV than cats playing with their toys, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:43

Oh yeah. Yeah, they're they're they put on a pretty good show.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Awesome. Good morning, it's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this?

SPEAKER_03 7:54

Hi, good morning, Chris. This is Debbie from Springerville.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Debbie from Springerville! Holy moly, how are you doing on this hump day morning?

SPEAKER_03 8:04

Oh, I'm doing great. Figuring out what to do for my birthday today.

Debbie’s Birthday And Song Request

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Today is your birthday. Holy moly! Happy birthday, dear Debbie from Springerville. Happy birthday to you. Thank you. Do you have goosebumps, Debbie? Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too. That was beautiful. Uh, so you're trying to figure out what to do for your birthday. Do you have to work on your birthday or do you get your birthday off?

SPEAKER_03 8:51

No, I have to work.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Oh, gosh, dang it. Uh, do you think anyone will do anything special for you for your birthday?

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Yeah, you did. I'm going down to the Renaissance Festival.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Oh, heck yeah, that's sweet. You won some tickets uh a couple weeks ago, and you're gonna head this week for your birthday? Oh, dude, that's amazing. Well, uh, Debbie, I wish you the greatest of birthdays. Is there a song you'd like to hear on this special day? Um Cole Bradford. Cole Brad. Oh, yes, one of our country climb stars of the week. You just want me to pick one of his songs?

SPEAKER_03 9:30

No, um Girl Dad.

Sign-Off And Where To Listen

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Girl Dad, yeah, he is a girl dad. I'm a girl dad. And uh, if you haven't heard uh Cole Bradford's Girl Dad, you gotta check that song out. Make sure you follow him on all socials, Cole Bradford Music, and uh stream his music wherever you stream your music. Cole Bradford, he's amazing. Uh, it's time for me to head out. Thanks so much to everyone that tuned in on this hump day morning. Have some fun with us. Congratulations to Lou from Snowflake on winning those two tickets, compliments the comfort fit dentures to our comedy show, March 14th at the Show Low Elks Lodge. Get those tickets at Chris Bennettcomedy.com. And if you missed any of the fun today, you could catch it all in podcast form. Wherever you listen to find podcasts, the morning brew with Chris Bennett. For the morning brew, I'm Chris Bennett, reminding you to be nice to yourself, be nice to others, and don't be jerk. And for the morning brew, I say bye.