Bad Marriage Advice + A Huge Red Flag? 😳 | With Relationship Expert Monica Tanner

We’re stepping our game up on this episode of The Morning Brew… 😳

We brought in a REAL relationship expert — Monica Tanner — bestselling author of Bad Marriage Advice and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast 

And yeah… she might actually know what she’s talking about (unlike us 😆)

We break down some of the WORST relationship advice people always hear — including why “happy wife, happy life” might actually be hurting your relationship 👀

Plus, we react to a situation where a guy’s girlfriend gave her number to another guy at a bar… 🚩

Is that a red flag… or is he overreacting?

We also mix in some fun with Fact or Fool and highlight a great local Easter event for the community.

🎧 It’s The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett & Best Friends — and as always… it’s a good time.

Transcript

Welcome And What’s Ahead

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello, it is me, Chris Bennett, and coming up on today's episode of The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett and best friends, we actually brought in a real relationship advice expert. We're talking bad marriage advice, helping a guy deal with his girlfriend, giving out her number at a bar. Mm-mm. Plus, we find out if turtles breathe out of their butts or not. So you're gonna learn something today, too. Let's get the show started. From the Horn Auto Center Studios, uh Chris Bennett and the morning brew. Today is Relationship Advice Thursday, and I have something juicy for you today. Apparently, normally I have Janine as my relationship advice expert, and apparently Janine and I sound like we know what we're talking about when it comes to relationships. So much so that a real relationship advice expert reached out to me. She listened to the show, loved our advice. She's a relationship coach, best-selling author, and helps couples for a living. Please welcome Monica Tanner to the show. Hi Monica. Yay, thanks so much for having me, Chris. Absolutely. You're joining us from Idaho. You heard our podcast, and did you really think our relationship advice was that great?

SPEAKER_00 1:16

I think you guys are hilarious. And I think I love pe people who make the world a funnier place to live. So I just immediately was like, I should reach out to these people.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Well, we loved it. I'm glad to have an actual relationship expert. How did you get into uh relationship coaching?

Debunking Common Marriage Advice

SPEAKER_00 1:34

You know, my parents divorced when I was 12, and I thought that I was a princess in a Disney movie, and I couldn't figure out which movie divorce was in. So I at a very young age I started kind of studying relationships because I knew they mattered, and I was like, this I don't want other people to, you know, end the story prematurely. So yeah, I I started studying people around me. I was a little bit um disillusioned because I felt like most of the married people that at least that I had access to didn't seem very happy. And I thought that if you're gonna marry somebody, it should be your best friend and you should have fun together. And so I made that my mission in life is to lower the divorce rate and raise marital satisfaction because people should love their marriage.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

And you have a best-selling book, Monica, called Bad Marriage Advice. Uh, tell us a little bit how did this book come to be and uh what's in it?

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Yeah. Well, my oldest son came to me last year and said that he'd met the girl he was gonna marry and he was proposing next month. And I kind of had a mommy freak out moment, like, oh my gosh, have I taught him everything he needs to know about marriage? So I sat down to write him a love note from his mom, and it just turned into all of the me debunking all of the well-meaning, well-intentioned advice that I knew he was about to get.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

And what's some of the worst advice that people always hear? Like, what are like two or three of those?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

There's so many. Happy wife, happy life is an easy one. That one's so silly. Uh, don't sweat the small stuff is one I love talking about because where do you think the big stuff comes from? And never go to bed angry because it's much better to stay up all night fighting about stuff.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Really? And what's something people think that's normal but actually hurts relationships?

SPEAKER_00 3:30

I think a lot of people think that if they met the right person, that they'll never be hurt in relationships. And I think that hurt in relationships is part of growth. So don't look for someone who's never gonna hurt you. Look for somebody who's gonna give you the opportunity to heal.

The Alarm Habit Relationship Problem

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Holy moly, we got it. That might have been a little deep. No, that's great. Wait, I'm just not used to a real relationship advice expert. I'm used to just Janine and I talk out of our necks. Uh, but yeah, that's amazing. And uh it is now time for relationship advice, and we have a special guest, a new best friend, Monica Tanner out of Idaho, a real relationship advice expert, author of the best-selling book, Bad Marriage Advice, and host of the top-rated podcast, Secrets of Happily Ever After. I'll go ahead and read the story, and when we come back, Monica, we'll get your advice. You ready? Ready. And then also rate my reading. Let me know how good I do. All right, here we go. I love my wife, I really do, but she has this habit that is slowly driving me insane. She sets alarms for everything, not just one alarm, like five. One to wake up, one to actually get up, one to start getting ready, one to leave, and one somehow, just in case. And here's the thing: she doesn't turn them off. She lets them go over and over and just ignores them. Meanwhile, I'm wide awake at 6 a.m. listening to alarm number three, thinking the house is under attack. I've tried to bring it up and she says I'm being dramatic, but now I'm losing sleep and my sanity. Am I overreacting or is this grounds for an intervention?

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Definitely grounds for an intervention. I think anything that bothers you enough to write into a radio show is grounds for an intervention. So definitely he needs to express his distaste for the way in which she uses her alarms, but he needs to do it in a curious and vulnerable way. So instead of attacking her for doing something wrong, he should just get curious. Why do you need these alarms? Why do they go off so often? And why do you let them go for so long? And maybe if he understands some of that, he can make choices accordingly, right? So, like if it's going off at 6 a.m. and it's not the alarm's not turning off, and he's awake and her intention is to wake up, maybe he could help the process somehow. But it helps to understand why she does what she does, and it's helpful for her to understand how it affects him.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Ah, I like the key word come in vulnerable. Don't come in attacking her, don't make her defensive. Exactly. Awesome. All right. Uh luckily I don't think my wife hates it, but I have to set five because I have ADHD, and I'm also just I I get lost in my thought, and if I don't have a lot of alarms, I end up like just getting lost in space.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

I'm the same way. If I don't set alarms, my children will not get picked up from school and I will be late for everything. So I get it.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

Thank you so much, Monica, for being our guest today and being uh a relationship advice expert. Everyone, go ahead and give Monica Tanner a follow. Do you have uh socials where we can follow you at, Monica?

SPEAKER_00 7:07

You can find me on Instagram at Monty Talks Marriage.

Call-In: Girlfriend Gave Her Number

Easter Egg Hunt And Bike Donations

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Mony Talks Marriage. Also check out her best-selling book, Bad Marriage Advice, and download and listen to her top-rated podcast, Secrets of Happily Ever After. And Monica, I hope to have you back again. And maybe next time we could have Janine join us and uh you could set us both straight. I'd love that. You are caller seven. Who's this? Kevin. Kevin! Heck yeah, Kevin from Sholo, right? Yeah, heck yeah. All right, Kevin. You just won four tickets to the Diamondbacks game, but first, you have to be my relationship advice expert. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. Uh, I've been dating my girlfriend. I'm 25, she's 25. I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year, and something happened that has me all messed up. She went out with her friends the other night. No big deal. Said they were just dancing, having fun. Cool. But then later, I found out that before she left, some guy asked for her number. Hmm. That's right. And she gave it to him. Oh, no way. She says it was just easier than saying no. Now, fast forward a few days, I'm using her phone and I see two missed calls from a random name I don't recognize. Uh-oh. So I ask her about it. At first she says she doesn't remember. Then she says she uh didn't think he was even into girls. So I text the number, and the guy responds, I'm the dude that was vibing with you this weekend. Now she's crying. I'm furious, and I walked out. Am I overreacting or is this a red flag? Oh, that's a red flag. Totally right. Totally. I don't even know why he's asking. He should know. Yeah, yeah. So he should just kick her to the curb, right? And I mean, okay, if giving uh if giving your number is easier than uh saying no, then give a fake number. But uh I don't know if you're able to give fake numbers these days in this day and age. I haven't asked for a girl's number in you know 20 some odd years, but uh definite red flag, and uh so you would just immediately break it off. Oh, yeah, I probably wouldn't tell. I'd probably delete. All right, there you go. Kevin from Sholo with some great relationship advice. He says, put on those running shoes and go on and get. Congratulations, Kevin. You won four tickets to tomorrow night's baseball game, D Bax vs the Atlanta Braves. What radio station hooked you up? 925, of course. You know it. Good morning. It's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this? This is David Whitmore from the Solo Elks Lodge and the Elks Riders. Heck yeah, David Whitmore. How are you doing today? I know at the Elks Lodge uh you have a big event planned for the kids on the mountain uh this Saturday, right? Yes, sir, we sure do. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

What's going on? Well, yesterday we had a bunch of volunteers come and stuff over 7,000 eggs for the kids to come find. So we're gonna have a big Easter egg hunt.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Heck yeah. And uh what time is it and uh how can people participate? Does it cost anything to participate? No, sir, it is completely free.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Uh the Easter egg hunt starts at 11, so come a little early. We're gonna have hot dogs for everyone, uh, gift bags for the kiddos, and right now we're sitting at about 38 bikes, and I think we're gonna hit that 50 though. So there will be bikes for for the kids um to put in for on a raffle, free hot dogs, lots of eggs, and lots of good times.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

That's cool. So the kids can uh show up, participate in the Easter egg hunt, and then they'll be able to enter themselves into a raffle to win some of those bikes. But we need more donations for the bikes, right? Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

We're trying to hit 50. We're at about 38 right now. Like I said, I think we're gonna get some more in tonight um and tomorrow night. But yeah, any any donations we'll take, the more bikes that we can give the kids, the better. All right, and they gotta be new bikes, right? Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

New bikes, skateboards, scooters, anything they can ride. And if anybody has a bike, a scooter or a skateboard uh that they bought that they'd like to donate, they just drop it off at the Elks Lodge at 805 East Whipple from 2 to 7, right? Yes, sir. All right, they could do that today or tomorrow. Let's go ahead and uh get some more bikes donated and make this such a memorable Easter for the kids on the White Mountain. 7,000 eggs. It's free uh for all kids. What are the ages? Uh 12 and under. 12 and under. How many kids do you think we're gonna have for 7,000 eggs?

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Oh, you know, last year I think we were 350, 400 kids almost there. So, and and they made 5,000 eggs last year disappear in about 45 seconds.

Fact Checker Game And Sign-Off

SPEAKER_02 12:14

So cool. Uh, if you want to go, make sure you bring your kids to the Show Elks Lodge. The event starts at 11 for the Easter egg hunt. And if you have bikes to donate, go ahead and drop them off at the Solo Elks Lodge today or tomorrow from 2 to 7. Today is uh National Fact Checker Day, which is great after April Fool's Day. There were so many weird things on Facebook. So we're gonna play a game with you, David, uh called Real Fact or Fake Fact. You ready? Let's go for it. Alright, real fact or fake fact. There are more trees on earth than stars in the Milky Way. Fake. No, no, that is fact. Really? Yeah, that's crazy. Uh uh bats are blind. Fact or fake. Fake. Uh yeah, that is uh that is fake. Back, I guess they're not completely blind. How about this? Turtles can breathe through their butts. Yes, sir. How did you know that?

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Because I uh I I've had turtles, I've had snakes, I've had lizards. Um yeah, I I've I've known that one's true for sure.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

I uh talk out my butt, but I don't breathe out my butt. All right. And uh last one. Penguins propose with a pebble.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Yes, they do.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Yes, gosh, you are good. How'd you know that one? I I've seen that movie Happy Feet. That was fact or fake on this national fact checker day. All right, and that will do it for today's episode of The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett and Best Friends. I appreciate you hanging out with us. If you enjoyed it, make sure to follow, share it with a friend, and uh come join us on the Facebook Live show Monday through Friday. Uh, we're uh always looking for new best friends to come and hang out with us. We'll be back tomorrow with more fun, more callers. And uh also, tomorrow is our country climb star of the week. Until then, have a great day and don't forget it's always a good time on the morning brew. Love you, best friends. Bye.