There Better Be 11 Chickens When I Get Back

Today on The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett and Best Friends:

Paul from Beaumont has been left in charge of Rhonda's chickens while she takes the grandkids to the beach—and she's made it very clear there had better still be 11 chickens when she gets back.

It's Am I the Jerk Court Wednesday, and Jineane Ford from Majik 101.7 and iTalk 106.7 joins us to help decide whether a wife is wrong for refusing to split the last cookies evenly with her husband. Plus, a lucky comedy ticket winner helps judge a case involving a husband who wants to spend 10 straight hours playing Dungeons & Dragons with his friends.

We also celebrate National Herbs and Spices Day with a round of Are You Smarter Than a Redneck?

Grab your coffee and join the fun with Chris Bennett and Best Friends.

Transcript

Chicken Countdown Cold Open

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Yeah, before she left, she's like, How many chickens do I have? She said, 11. And there better be 11 when I get back.

SPEAKER_04 0:09

That's just a little snippet from our call with Paul from Beaumont, who somehow ended up in charge of his wife's chickens while she's away with the grandkids. Hello, best friends, and welcome to another episode of The Morning Brew with Chris Bennett and Best Friends. We got a fun one for you today. It is Am I the Jerk Court Wednesday? And we're debating whether a wife is wrong for refusing to split the last cookies evenly with her husband. We also give away VIP tickets to our comedy show June 27th at the Solo Elks Lodge. And our winner helped us judge a case involving a husband who wanted to spend 10 straight hours playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. Plus, we'll catch up with Paul from Beaumont, Talk Chickens, and find out if we are smarter than a redneck with some herbs and spices day trivia. Grab your coffee, settle in. Let's get the show started. Chris Bennett and the morning brew.

Cookie Court And Food Boundaries

SPEAKER_04 1:05

All right, it's time for Am I the Jerk Court, the Honorable Janine Ford presides, joined by her granddaughter, Bailiff Addy. Are you two ready for this great case? Yes, we are. All right, here we go. Uh, this person wants to know if they're the jerk for not wanting to split food evenly with their spouse. Here's the story. My husband and I have a tradition of baking cookies together almost every night. Usually I eat one more than he does because I have a bigger sweet tooth and he snacks throughout the day a lot more than I do. The other night there were only three cookies left. Mmm. I planned to eat two and let him have one. As soon as I started baking them, he asked how many were left and then immediately asked if we could split them evenly. The problem is, this isn't really about the cookies. Ever since we've been together, he's constantly asked for bites of my food, finished snacks I bought for myself, and even recently ate an entire family-sized box of cereal that I barely got to enjoy. When the cookies were done, I told him I was sticking with my original plan and taking two. He got upset, uh upset and said it wasn't fair. Now he's acting like I'm selfish over half a cookie. Am I the jerk?

SPEAKER_05 2:35

Uh, Addie, you start.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

So I think yes, but I also think the husband is the jerk too because he eats all the cereals.

SPEAKER_05 2:45

He ate all that cereal. He ate all the cereal at once. But I think she has I think the girlfriend has some food aggression issues. I mean, it's such a big deal to cut a cookie in half and each have one and a half. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? I just think she's a little bit of the jerk myself. And then he shouldn't be eating all the cereal. I think they have food problems. And Addie, what do you think? I'd wonder I wonder what size they are, how fat they might be. I'm just saying, sorry. With the cookies every night.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

Yeah, but maybe they're bodybuilders and uh you know they need to bulk up. Bodybuilders don't usually eat a bunch of sugar and garbage like that. I don't know. I can't believe Yeah, they get cookies every night. That sounds I've been eating ice cream every night.

SPEAKER_05 3:27

Yeah, and see, that's the whole thing, is they're just not living healthy and they're they've got this food aggression maybe because it's a sugar problem. I don't know. Just I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Okay, so what do you think, Catty? I think that they're both jerks. Okay. There you go.

SPEAKER_05 3:39

They're both jerks, and you And they're putting too much emphasis on food and sweets.

SPEAKER_04 3:43

Yeah, and uh our jury on the Facebook Live, our friend Kirk, says, just make more cookies and shut up about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:52

Or cut the one in half. You're gonna die over half a cookie. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

You know, if he wants half a cookie, share it. Okay. Yeah, yeah. All right, so in the case of Am I the Jerk for not wanting to split food evenly with my spouse, Janine says.

SPEAKER_05 4:05

You're the jerk, and then the husband's a little jerk too. For eating all the cereals, by Addy, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:09

All right, and your punishment: no cookies for a week.

SPEAKER_05 4:13

Yeah, maybe get a little detox from sugar. Yeah. Maybe some carrots. There you go. Yeah, and wreck carrots and you know, a little dip. There you go.

unknown 4:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

Awesome.

VIP Winner Judges Game Night

SPEAKER_04 4:23

Well, thank you so much, best friends. Good morning. It's the morning brew with Chris. Who's this?

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Good morning, Chris. It's Patrick Kennedy. How are you doing, boss?

SPEAKER_04 4:32

Good, good, good, Patrick. You entered to win two VIP tickets to Chris Bennett Comedy in Alberto Summer Comedy Series at the Show Low Elks Lodge Saturday, June 27th at 6:30 p.m. We spun the wheel of names, and guess whose name came up? Yours? No, yours. Yours came up. Congratulations! You just won two VIP tickets. All you need to do is help me with a little am I the jerk court case this morning, and those tickets are yours. Sound good? Sounds perfect, Chris. Thank you so much. Absolutely. All right, here we go. Uh, this lady wants to know am I the jerk for telling my husband he can't hang out with his friends for 10 straight hours. Here we go. My husband and I have been married for seven years. Every other Saturday he hangs out with his friends playing Dungeons and Dragons or Magic the Gathering. Usually it's from 6 p.m. to 1 a.m. And I don't complain because I think it's important for him to have time with his friends. The problem is we currently share one car, and I help take care of my younger brother. On weekends, I like to take him out and do something fun. This week my husband asked if he could hang out with his friends, and I said sure. Then he told me he'd be taking the car from noon until 10 p.m. That caught me off guard. I asked if he could carpool or maybe shorten the trip, but he said they were going to a game store and then playing Dungeons and Dragons. So he needed the full 10 hours. I told him it wasn't fair to take our vehicle all day while I'm stuck at home. He got upset and said he deserves time with his friends. Now I feel like I'm parenting a teenager instead of talking to my husband. Am I the jerk? What say you? She is not a jerk. Oh, she is not a jerk. Interesting. What makes you say that, Judge?

SPEAKER_03 6:39

Well, she's gotta have time with her with her brother, and it's a every every weekend thing for her husband. He can take a weekend off and hang out.

SPEAKER_04 6:49

Yeah, and she's not saying that he can't hang out, she just she just wants the car, or she's saying carpool, and then he can go for 10 straight hours. She's just looking for compromise, and he doesn't want anything to do with the compromise. Right. No. Do you play Dungeons and Dragons or Magic the Gathering? I do not. No. What uh do you have uh do you have any uh any hobby that uh has bugged uh uh your loved ones in the past? Maybe my DJ. DJ, yeah. What's your DJ name? You have a cool DJ name. DJ Desat. DJ what? If I had a DJ name, what would my DJ name be?

SPEAKER_03 7:33

DJ CB.

SPEAKER_04 7:35

DJ C B. I someone said DJ tight pants. I kind of like that too. I love my tight pants. Well, uh, the judge has ruled in the case of Am I the Jerk for not letting my friend uh my husband hang out with his friends for 10 straight hours? You are not the jerk. Congratulations, Patrick. You just won two VIP tickets to our comedy show Saturday, June 27th at 6:30 p.m. Doors bar, Alberto's food truck open up at 5 p.m. We have headliner Nancy Norton that's been on Dry Bar Comedy, featured on Annie's evening at the improv, winner of the Boston Comedy Festival, winner of the Seattle International Comedy Competition, and she's joined by featured comedian Bob Kubota, who's been on a ton of USO tours, been on NBC's Last Comic Standing, and hosted by myself. It's 18 and over. And if you weren't as lucky as Patrick, you could get your tickets at Chris Bennett Comedy.com. And we have early bird pricing going on right now. Through Friday, you could save $5. So get your tickets at Chris BennettCalm. What station hooked you up?

SPEAKER_03 8:39

92.5. You know it.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

Woo! Woo! That's Bob Vlog! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Paul From Beaumont Talks Chickens

SPEAKER_04 8:50

Holy moly, everyone's favorite redneck from Beaumont, Texas. Paul from Beaumont. We've been having Paul from Beaumont withdrawals. Haven't heard from you in a while. What's new?

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Hey, Rhonda brought the grandkids to the beach. And chickens wearing me out, man. I'm gonna have to take care of them.

SPEAKER_04 9:09

Rhonda left you home alone. She got these chickens to save money on eggs, but then basically you're the one that's been having to do everything building the chicken coop, taking care of these chickens.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Pretty much, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:24

And then what does it look like being home alone with just these chickens? What do you have to do? Oh, they're probably having Rhonda withdrawals because they ain't getting no bougie treatment. Oh, really? Rhonda gives uh the chickens bougie treatment? Like what?

SPEAKER_02 9:40

She stays out there for hours with them.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

Well, if I was married to you, I would spend all my time with the chickens too.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Oh, I'll go out there, uh I I corral them up, put them in the coop, shut the door, get the water, try, you know, make sure they got food and water, and that's it. And then she's like, yeah, four Celeste, she's like, how many chickens do I have? She said, 11. And there better be 11 when I get back.

SPEAKER_04 10:13

Have you had any mishaps with the chickens so far? No, no, uh-uh. No, no. Oh, good. All right, all right. All right, yeah. And so there's still 11 chickens.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Last time I counted.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

There we go. Awesome. Well, uh, Paul, uh, are you feeling pretty smart this morning?

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Uh I'm hoping so, dude. I'm hoping so. I already messed up the chicken, so it must be pretty smart.

Herbs And Spices Trivia Showdown

SPEAKER_04 10:37

It is now time for Are You Smarter Than a Redneck? Today, Paul, is Herbs and Spices Day. So we're gonna do some herbs and spices trivia. If you know the answer, say your name. That's your buzzer. Ready?

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_04 10:51

KFC famously advertises its chicken is made with how many herbs and spices? Is it A7, B11, or C13? Chris. Oh, Paul, go ahead. B B11 herbs and spices. There you go. Ding, ding, ding. All right. Which spice is the most expensive in the world by weight? Is it A, vanilla, B, saffron, C, nutmeg? Chris. I'm gonna say B saffron. Heck yes! We are tied at one apiece. This last question will determine who the winner is. Pick a number from four to twenty.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Uh 20. 20. All right. Oh, there we go. See, speaking of herbs and spices, I did make horchata for the first time.

SPEAKER_04 11:37

Ooh, with a little cinnamon. Yes. I love horchata. That is delicious. Yeah. All right, here we go. Which herbs name comes from Greek words meaning joy of the mountain. Joy of the mountain is it A, oregano, B, sage, or C, parsley. Pa. Pa. A. A oregano. Holy moly, he's got some joy of the mountain this morning because he is smarter than a handsome radio DJ. Congratulations, best friend. Yee yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Hey, winner, winner, chicken dinner.

SPEAKER_04 12:17

Chick, yeah, you better not eat any of Rhonda's chickens. If uh, what what spice are you gonna use if you do eat one of Rhonda's chickens? Uh, garlic. Well, that's gonna do it for today's episode of the Morning Brew with Chris Bennett and best friends.

Wrap Up And How To Support

SPEAKER_04 12:35

And today we learned that if you're ever left in charge of somebody else's chickens, uh, they all better be alive when they come back. If you enjoyed today's show, please do me a favor and follow, leave a review and share it with another best friend who could use a little fun and shenanigans in their day. And don't forget, our summer comedy series presented by Chris Bennett Comedy and Alaberto's is coming up June 27th at the Sholo Elks Lodge, featuring headliner Nancy Norton and Bob Kubota. Early bird pricing ends this Friday. So grab your tickets now at the lowest price at Chris Bennett Comedy.com. For the morning brew, I've been Chris Bennett, reminding you to be nice to yourself, be nice to others, and don't be jerk. Until next time. Bye.