Relationship Advice That Should Be Illegal

Ever noticed how the relationship advice we're bombarded with often feels suspiciously shallow? From the well-meaning but misguided "happy wife, happy life" to the downright toxic "if they're jealous, they must really love you," we're swimming in a sea of relationship clichés that deserve a serious reality check.

As a marriage and family therapist, I've witnessed firsthand the damage these seemingly innocent phrases can cause. In this no-holds-barred episode, I'm dismantling ten pieces of relationship advice so bad they should come with warning labels. We'll explore why "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" creates unnecessary barriers to understanding, how "just have a baby" might be the worst possible fix for relationship problems, and why the classic "love means never having to say you're sorry" couldn't be more wrong.

Beyond just identifying these toxic myths, I dig into the psychology behind why they persist and offer healthier alternatives. We'll discuss how authentic relationships require accountability instead of ego, trust instead of jealousy, and realistic expectations instead of holding out for mythical perfection. Whether you've been advised to "never go to bed angry" or told that "once a cheater, always a cheater," this episode challenges the one-size-fits-all approach that ignores human complexity.

The truth is, real relationships aren't built on catchy phrases or oversimplified rules – they thrive on mutual respect, open communication, and the courage to embrace imperfection. Subscribe now and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that their relationships deserve more than recycled rom-com wisdom. Together, let's replace these tired clichés with something more honest, nuanced, and genuinely supportive.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Bad Relationship Advice
• 1:42 Men from Mars & Ignoring Games
• 3:52 Happy Wife & Baby Bandaids
• 6:27 Love's Apologies & Jealousy Red Flags
• 9:04 Perfect 10s & Fighting All Night
• 11:55 Kids, Cheaters and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

What do rom-coms, reddit threads and your aunt's Facebook advice have in common? They've all dished out bad relationship advice. Welcome back to Licensed and Unfiltered, the podcast where therapy meets brutal honesty, and sometimes we ask questions like who keeps letting these people publish relationship books? Who keeps letting these people publish relationship books? I'm Lina marriage and family therapist, and today we're diving into relationship advice so bad it should come with a warning leap. Let's be real. Not all bad advice sounds bad at first. Some of it's packaged with rhymes, best-selling book covers or emotionally manipulative TikToks. Just because something's been repeated for decades doesn't make it true or healthy.

Speaker 1: 0:53

Today we're unpacking some of the most popular and questionable relationship advice floating around and on the internet in pop culture and maybe even your group chat. We'll look at classics like love means never having to say you're sorry, spoiler, it does. We'll talk about why waiting for a 10 out of 10 might leave you single and emotionally unavailable, and why stay together for the kids can sometimes cause more harm than good. We're also tackling the whole once a cheater, always a cheater mindset and whether it leaves room for actual growth. So grab your favorite beverage coffee, wine, oat milk, latte, whatever vibe you're in and let's separate the gems from the garbage.

Speaker 1: 1:42

Bad advice number one Men are from Mars. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Translation You'll never understand each other, so don't even try. It feels like a permission slip to stay ignorant about your partner's needs. Men and women aren't so fundamentally different that we need a book to pretend we're from different planets. That idea basically says why bother trying to connect at all? A Purdue professor once critiqued the book and others like it, saying they tell men that being masculine means dismissing feelings and downplaying problems, which isn't just unhelpful, it's not even true for most men. Bottom line if a relationship book makes you feel more misunderstood than seen, it's not the guide, it's the red flag. And hey, if you want a deeper dive on gender stereotypes in relationships, let me know. In the comments I read everything, especially in these early episodes. Bad advice number two ignore them and they'll want you more Translation.

Speaker 1: 2:56

Emotional unavailability is hot. Why it's trash? Ghosting isn't foreplay. Trust me, this doesn't work, not even when you look and feel your best. Ignoring someone on purpose isn't mysterious, it's just disrespectful. It creates communication breakdowns, insecurity, anxiety and, let's be honest, it's manipulative. Even if it seems to work short term, it doesn't build anything real or sustainable. Healthy relationships are built on mutual support, open communication and actually liking each other, not playing emotional hide and seek. If I'm being ignored, I assume you don't want anything to do with me.

Speaker 1: 3:46

Bad advice number three Happy wife, happy life. Translation avoid conflict. Lie if needed. Why it's trash? That's not peace, that's quiet resentment. Let's be real. This phrase sounds cute, but it actually promotes imbalance. It suggests that one partner's happiness is the only priority and the others should just keep the peace at any cost. What happens? You get neglected, needs, superficial fixes, bottled up tension and a one-way emotional street. It also reinforces tired gender stereotypes like women are the emotional ones and men are just there to placate them. Healthy relationships don't run on appeasement. They thrive on mutual support, open communication and the freedom for both people to express what they need, because no one should have to shrink themselves to keep the other person smiling.

Speaker 1: 4:54

Bad advice number four Just have a baby, it'll bring you closer. How many of you have heard this one Translation Fix your leaky boat with a cannonball. Why it's trash? Spoiler alert Babies are stress grenades. Yes, we love our kids dearly, but let's not pretend they don't test every ounce of our patience at times. Here's the truth. Bringing a child into an already shaky relationship doesn't fix the cracks. It often just hides them under diapers, midnight feedings and sleep deprivation. This kind of advice ignores a ton of reality the increased stress, the emotional and physical toll, the differences in parenting styles that will surface, the personal needs that get sidelined if they're not already being met. Having a baby is a huge, beautiful decision, but it's not a band-aid for dysfunction. If anything, it magnifies the parts of your relationship that aren't working. Kids test your relationship. So if the goal is closeness, start with open conversations. Start with open conversations, not conception.

Speaker 1: 6:18

Bad advice number five Love means never having to say you're sorry. Translation Accountability is optional. Why it's trash? Say sorry, say it often, say it. This line comes from the movie Love Story, and sure it's got its emotional moments If you ignore the soul-crushing ending. But as a relationship mantra it's a hard no. The idea that real love doesn't require apologies that's how we end up with hurt feelings swept under the rug, unresolved conflict and emotional distance. Refusing to apologize doesn't make you strong. It makes you hard to connect with Love without accountability turns into resentment. Respect without repair that's just silence in a fancy outfit. Apologizing isn't just about admitting you were wrong. It's about showing your partner they matter more than your ego. If you mess up, say it. If you hurt them, own it Because I'm sorry. May be two words, but they carry the weight of everything you're willing to make right.

Speaker 1: 7:36

Bad advice number six If they're jealous, it means they love you. Translation Possessiveness equals passion. Why it's trash? So does a tracking device, apparently. If you're being followed, guilt, tripped or feel like your every move needs permission, that's not love, that's control.

Speaker 1: 8:02

Jealousy isn't romantic. It's not proof of how deeply someone cares. More often than not, it's rooted in insecurity, fear of abandonment and a need for control, not genuine affection. When we treat jealousy like it's cute or passionate, we normalize red flags, and that's how emotional manipulation creeps in, with one partner testing boundaries or even provoking jealousy just to feel validated. That kind of dynamic erodes trust, ramps up conflict and keeps both people in a cycle of anxiety and control. A strong relationship is built on trust, communication and mutual respect, not constant surveillance and paranoia. So let's stop mistaking clinginess for commitment. If someone truly loves you, they'll want to protect your freedom, not take it away. Bad advice number seven not take it away. Bad advice number seven Don't settle, wait for a 10 out of 10.

Speaker 1: 9:13

Translation perfection or bust why it's trash. Your dream partner might just be a human with flaws. If you keep holding out for a mythical 10, you might end up the 40-year-old who's emotionally unavailable, endlessly swiping and still wondering why no one's good enough. This mindset leads to unrealistic expectations, fear of commitment and missed opportunities. When we obsess over perfection, we forget what actually makes a relationship work Shared values, emotional connection and compatibility, not a six-pack, a Pinterest aesthetic or flawless banter. Real relationships involve compromise, growth and the ability to appreciate someone because of their uniqueness, not despite it. And hey, if you've ever seen Love on the Spectrum on Netflix, that show is beautiful. It follows people with autism navigating love and, honestly, some of them handle dating with more maturity, vulnerability and respect than most neurotypical folks out there today. They're not playing games, they're being and, most of all, kind, which is way more 10 out of 10 than pretending you're too good for anyone who doesn't check every single box.

Speaker 1: 10:34

Bad advice number eight never go to bed. Angry Translation stay up all night fighting like caffeinated raccoons. Why it's trash Sleep process. Fight better tomorrow. Sure, open communication is important, but staying up till 2 am arguing in circles isn't exactly a relationship flex. This advice sets up unrealistic expectations. Not every conflict needs to be resolved before it lights out. Some people need space, others need time to reflect and, let's be honest, no one's at their emotional best when they're running on fumes. Forcing resolution in the moment can actually make things worse. You get emotional exhaustion, half-hearted apologies and a brewing pot of resentment that'll simmer under the surface. Instead of aiming to never go to bed angry, try this Respect each other's processing styles. Agree to pause the fight and revisit it when you're both rested and clear-headed. Conflict resolution isn't a race, it's a skill, and sometimes the most mature thing you can do is get some sleep and finish the fight over coffee.

Speaker 1: 11:55

Bad advice number nine stay together for the kids. Translation. Teach your kids that misery is love. Why it's trash? Kids deserve peace, not silent tension and side-eye over dinner. Here's the truth. Growing up in a high-conflict home can be just as damaging, if not worse, than growing up with separated parents In kids. In healthy co-parenting setups they can actually thrive. Healthy co-parenting setups they can actually thrive. Staying together just for the kids can lead to a lot of unintended fallout, like modeling unhealthy relationships, creating emotional confusion, stifling personal growth and make parenting even harder when you're emotionally drained. Yes, stability is important, but peace and authenticity matter more. What kids really need is emotional safety, not two parents who are miserable under the same roof pretending everything's fine. Sometimes the healthiest choice isn't staying, it's restructuring. Whether that's through counseling, better communication or respectful co-parenting. There are ways to give your kids a loving home that doesn't rely on staying stuck, because the real goal isn't a perfect nuclear family, it's a peaceful one.

Speaker 1: 13:17

Bad advice number 10. Once a cheater, always a cheater. This one I bet all of you listening have heard this one Translation. People never grow or change why it's trash. Some do and some don't. Blanket statements are itchy. Cheating is serious, no doubt about it, and I'm not justifying cheating as an act either. But writing someone off entirely because of one mistake doesn't have a lot of room for growth, healing or context. Sometimes cheating is a symptom of deeper issues in the relationship or within the person themselves and, believe it or not, some couples actually grow stronger after facing it headon with honesty, accountability and therapy.

Speaker 1: 14:09

This always-a-cheater mindset oversimplifies complex situations. It assumes people are static, incapable of change and unworthy of second chances. That's not just unfair, it can be damaging. Plenty of people who've cheated take real steps to understand their behavior, take responsibility and do better, and yet this phrase keeps them boxed in, stuck with a label that discourages honesty and makes it harder to heal. Relationships thrive when there's room for both accountability and growth. So, yes, keep your boundaries, but don't confuse patterns with permanence. People can surprise you for better or worse.

Speaker 1: 14:56

As we wrap up today's dive into the worst relationship advice out there, just remember not all wisdom is created equal. Real love requires more than clever quotes and catchy cliches. It takes trust, communication and the courage to embrace imperfection in both your partner and yourself, whether it's saying I'm sorry when it counts, recognizing that jealousy isn't romantic or realizing that people can change. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, emotional maturity and a little humor to get through the hard stuff. So, as you go about your day, challenge the cliches and, most of all, give yourself permission to learn and grow too. Thanks for hanging out with me today to learn and grow too. Thanks for hanging out with me today. If you found yourself nodding along, cringing or laughing even a little, do me a favor, subscribe and share this episode with someone who's definitely heard at least one of these before. Until next time. Remember relationships aren't a destination. They're a messy, beautiful, evolving ride.