F1 & Sparkles: How Racing Cars Connected Us

The summer holidays bring a unique rhythm to neurodivergent families with a "sweet spot" emerging between the transition from school and the anxiety of returning. This episode explores finding connection through our children's special interests during these periods.

• Taking time for one-on-one connections with each child through their special interests
• Experiencing the joy of witnessing someone talk about their "glimmers" or passionate interests
• How a trip to Silverstone created meaningful connection with my Formula 1-loving son
• Remembering to use your child's DLA status for carer discounts at attractions
• Navigating summer holidays with multiple children through "divide and survive" strategies
• Finding "micro moments" of connection during challenging periods
• Celebrating small wins and finding joy in everyday experiences
• Considering a new podcast series theme around "rest" for parents
• Debating whether to release a difficult episode about tribunal experiences

If you're enjoying the podcast, please text me using the link in the show notes to share your thoughts on future episodes or topics you'd like covered. I'd especially love to know if you'd prefer to keep our "Are you the perfect parent?" series or try something new.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to the Untypical Parent Podcast
• 0:52 Summer Check-in and Text Messages
• 4:40 Finding the Summer Sweet Spot
• 8:37 Silverstone Adventure and Special Interests
• 13:02 Carer Discounts and Museum Tips
• 15:21 Podcast Episodes and Future Plans
• 24:50 Tribunal Trauma Episode Dilemma
• 29:16 Closing Thoughts and Requests

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Welcome to the Untypical Parent Podcast, where doing things differently is more than okay. I'm Liz Evans and I am the Untypical OT and I am your host. I'm here to open up conversations that go beyond the stereotypical child, parent and family. This is your go-to space to find your backup team, the people who truly get it, because we were never meant to do this alone. Each week, through a mix of guest interviews and solo episodes, we'll explore a wide range of topics, because every family is unique and there's no one size fits all when it comes to parenting. But before we dive in, if you're enjoying what I share and want to support the podcast, you can buy me a cuppa. You'll find all the links in the show notes. Are you ready? Come join me. Hi, and thanks for joining me today on the Untypical Parent Podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:59

This is the one, the little ones that I do in between the guest episodes that I have, where I'm just basically chatting to myself. It sounds like, but it it's things that kind of come up for me, things that maybe I'm thinking about things, things that I think might be important for us as parents in neurodivergent or additional needs families. So this is one of those episodes. So, first of all, I want to say thanks and thanks for being here. The other thing wanted to mention and I don't know whether everyone knows this actually you can text me so you can text the show. So you can either do that from the show notes. If you look at the show notes on Spotify, on Apple, or if you go in through the website for the podcast, there is a text me tab at the top and if you click on that it will take you to text messages and you can send me a text message and I would love to hear from you guys about anything. Really, it might be that you're a parent and you're just having a listen and you've been enjoying an episode and you just want to let me know. It might be that you've got an idea for another episode or you'd love to have a particular guest on the podcast. Again, I'd love to hear.

Speaker 1: 2:09

It's really it's really difficult sometimes because when I'm doing these podcasts and I'm talking, like I say, the untypical parent talks to herself. It often feels like I am talking to myself. But I know you're out there, I know you're listening because I can see it in the downloads, I know you're there and what's been amazing as well is that the amount of people that are coming in and listening from all over the world is slightly blowing my brains and if I think about it too much it overwhelms me. So I'll try not to think about it too much. But we're getting people from all over the world, so not just from the UK and from America or Australia or places like that, but all sorts of places that I just would never have imagined, and I'm welcome. Thanks for being here and thanks for listening. It means an awful lot.

Speaker 1: 2:59

What I wanted to do is just do a little summer check-in. So usually when you get my podcast, I batch record usually, so stuff is is put out, episodes are put out that have been recorded maybe six to eight weeks prior to their release date, but actually I'm recording this, it is the 8th of August and it will go out next week on Tuesday, so we're Friday today. I'll go out on Tuesday, which is unusual for me for podcasts, because I need the timing and the planning and the prep and you'll know if you're listening and you're a parent. We're trying to do things in the real time in the moment is really really hard and takes a lot of organization, so I was going to have a little pause over the summer. I thought actually I might just do some little check-ins. I might just see how you guys all are out there, because I know the one reason I was going to do a pause over the summer was that I know that the summer can be good times and it can be more tricky times.

Speaker 1: 3:53

Some people really value the downtime where they're able to take some time off work, the stresses of school and all the pressures of education, all that kind of stuff, that they drift away and we get this really lovely sweet spot that you probably heard me talk about before. We get this lovely sweet spot in the middle and we are in our sweet spot at the minute. So we've had that difficult kind of transition out of education into the summer holidays and we've now hit a bit of a sweet spot where everybody's kind of settled into a little bit of a routine. We've got some regular things that are coming up on a daily basis and we're hitting that sweet spot. I'm very well aware that we will soon exit our sweet spot and we'll head towards the return to school, which can be quite stressful for all of us and if you know me well when, you know what I talk about.

Speaker 1: 4:36

It's it it's looking at us as parents as well, because we struggle with the transitions in and out of the summer holidays often as well. There's often a lot more pressure on us during the summer, so the summers can be really, really tricky for us as a whole family. So I wanted to do a little check in, check in how everyone was. How are you doing? Maybe send me a text message, let me know you know what's been tricky over the summer, what hasn't been quite so tricky? Maybe there's been some really lovely moments over the summer and I are tricky. Maybe there's been some really lovely moments over the summer and I was having to think about our summer and our summer has been a little bit different this year. So usually I try and take the kids away over the summer and for one reason or another, that hasn't happened this summer. Um, and we had to kind of I've had to think differently what, what were we going to do? And I talk about in my neurodivergent family holiday guide. I talk about some of the strategies that I use when we go on holiday to help us cope and manage, but also I'm finding I'm using some of those strategies at home during the holiday periods as well. So one of them in particular that kind of came to mind was I've just got back from a night away with my youngest where we went to Silverstone.

Speaker 1: 5:55

So for those of you that aren't kind of F1, formula fans F1 Formula, can you tell I'm not a fan, f1 fans. For those of you that aren't Formula 1 fans, you might not know or you kind of think where's Antero Pertusil? I don't even know what it is. It's a big, massive racetrack in the UK and my son has a special interest in Formula 1. He knows a lot about it, a lot of information about Formula One. It's definitely, definitely one of his glimmers. And I was thinking about glimmers because actually I actually really enjoy listening to people talk about their glimmers. And again, for those of you who don't know and haven't heard of the word glimmers, it's things that give you joy, bring joy to you when you think about them or engaged in them, a part of them and it was actually a term coined by Deb Darner, and you might hear quite a lot of the autistic community talk about their glimmers so kind of what brings them happiness and regulation, and it can be anything a glimmer, and this is definitely one of my son's glimmers is talking about f1.

Speaker 1: 7:12

So we created this holiday and now I've got an older one who's kind of into f1 a little bit, but not that, not that fast. Now, usually I would have taken them both because I just think it's just too difficult and I'd have just taken them both and it would have been really really hard work, really hard work. Now I know I am talking probably from a very privileged perspective that I was able to get people to support and look after my eldest son, so he was able to go to his grandparents and I was able then to go with my youngest and it was that divide and survive. It definitely was, and what was so lovely about our trip away was it was those moments of connection that I managed to get that when we're in the everyday run of things with school and commitments and I've got to be here and I've got to be there and I've got to be the next thing, he often is trying to engage me in his glimmers, I'd say, but I don't often have the time to be part of them.

Speaker 1: 8:12

Um, and going away to Silverstone with him was one of those moments that I'll remember for a long time, a really, really long time. He went back to almost how I remember him when he was little, just in awe of stuff, in awe of these things and these cars, and talking about these racing car drivers and all these amazing things that you could just see. I used to call it sparkles and I know that's not what people kind of tend to call it. Now they call it, they call them glimmers, but for me I call them sparkles because people's eyes sparkle when they talk about their glimmers and his sparkle. So when I hear him talk about F1, he's just in awe of it and you can tell the joy it brings him. And he basically had two days immersed in F1. And usually I'd have taken him away for a kind of longer holiday and you know we might have gone, for you know, if you've listened to any of my talks and stuff we tend to, our holidays are five days is our sweet spot and then we're out of there because life is, yeah, that's definitely a limit to our being away from home. Um, so we thought we'd do something different. I thought I'd do something different and we just we just had the best time.

Speaker 1: 9:37

Now, even though silverstone is an, f1 is not my special interest. I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed being with him and immersing myself in his, in his glimmer, in his sparkles, and, as I say, I love hearing about it and when I can see what joy that brings somebody, it's really special to be part of it. Now I don't know if that sounds a little bit weird, but I've and I don't just this doesn't just happen for me with my kids. My partner will often laugh that if we go to go out somewhere I'll often end up somewhere that I somehow end up talking to somebody. I never start the conversations and we were laughing because it was even something not that long ago. I was standing in a queue with my back to somebody and they still started a conversation with me. But actually I am really happy to sit and listen and chat to somebody about their special interests, about their glimmers, about sparkles, what brings them sparkles in their eyes, because actually I get a sense of joy from that as well. It doesn't even have to actually be my kids.

Speaker 1: 10:52

So we really enjoyed a couple of days away and I just wanted to pop in and say you know, we've had some tricky times over the holidays and some of that has been my own health and you might have noticed, at times I've been quieter than others on social media. I'm trying as I can to make sure the podcasts come out and I really enjoy the podcast and the podcast gives me a lot of joy. So I try as much as I can to get the podcast episodes out on a regular basis for all of you, but partly as well because I enjoy doing them. The social media side of stuff I have found more tricky, and I say, as my health hasn't been quite so great over the last couple of months is, you might have seen that kind of here and there, bits and pieces, but not a consistency. So it was really nice to go away and yeah, I paid for it health-wise afterwards, but actually it was worth every second of it. It was such a nice couple of days away.

Speaker 1: 11:47

And then what I've got planned is that my 15 year old, who's slightly more difficult because everything I kind of go well, should we do this? Don't mind, don't know, he's very typically 15 at the moment. We are trying to plan a time away as well. So I'll go away with him and his brother will stay with my parents again, and so I know I'm privileged in that fact that I can split the kids um to be able to do that. And I know some of us can't do that and there have been times when we I haven't been able to do that. I've been and I'm on my own um, so that that can make things more tricky, but we are going to plan one just he and I, uh with my eldest one. So I'm looking forward to that.

Speaker 1: 12:32

The other thing I kind of just wanted to pop in there is I kind of did you know as well, and I often forget this and I forgot this when we went to the Silverstone Museum. So if you've got any kind of F1 fans in your family and you fancy a trip out to Silverstone, which I would thoroughly recommend don't forget to go to the megastore as well, but make sure you've saved up a lot of money before you enter that megastore, um, is that the thing I always forget when we go out is that if you have got your child, or your child has DLA's disability living allowance that you often so lots of these places you will get in as a carer. I totally forgot, totally forgot, but the two tickets. But actually when I went to the museum they were absolutely lovely and they refunded my at my my adult ticket and put me through as a carer and there was not even an issue with it. They were so nice and actually, from a perspective of visiting, it was quiet when we went, it was quite it's quite spacious and we moved around at our kind of own speed. I sound like I'm doing like a Silverstone Museum ad now, but actually we had a really fabulous time. Uh, we had saved up so we did stay at the the hotel so we could have a look at the track, um, and thoroughly enjoyed that. But I know there is kind of cheaper options around. You don't have to stay at the hotel that's on on the actual track. But if you were interested in those kind of things, it's definitely definitely worth a look. But I meant to say to people just don't, don't forget, don't forget. When you're out over the summer and you're booking things, just double check whether you can get in as a carer. It just it makes a huge difference. A lot of us I know are you know if we've got our kids, maybe they've been out of school or we, you know you're going through tribunals or all sorts of stuff, then I know the impact um, holidays can have the money, the financial impact and even little things like that, being able to save. You know, I think I said 25 quid or something, 24 quid, something like that, which people might think, oh, that's not a massive amount of money, but it is and it makes a difference, um, and it just means I can go out and do something with the other one. So, yeah, don't forget. Don't forget, if you've got your DLA, just check out. If you're going to any of these places, can I get a carer's ticket for me as the adult going in? I think that was all I wanted to kind of do. I just wanted to check up on you all and say hi, I say that you know how's the summer going, tell you about the text messages, and that you can send me a text message. The other thing is if, over the summer, you're maybe going away or you're on a plane or you're on a journey somewhere and you're looking for something else to listen to, don't forget the podcast.

Speaker 1: 15:12

We've got loads and loads of episodes now that we've got out with the podcast, guest ones, solo ones, we've got all sorts of guests coming from right from the beginning, from the very first one, where you will probably notice, I'm going to have a look here through my episodes so I can remember them all. But right at the beginning when I first put this out, when I was doing it on a rubbishy old camera on my laptop, I had no mic so I turned off the mic on the laptop. It probably wasn't the best quality recording you'll ever hear, but it's a fab chat with the lovely Charlotte Mountford from Badger Education and she was my first ever guest. She was so brave she trusted me enough to come on. She had no idea what this podcast would do or where it would go and she was the bravest one to say yeah, do you know what? I'll go first and I'll come do an episode with you and I will be forever grateful. It's a fab episode and it's called All About Perfection and perfection. I hope not. It's called it's All About Progress, not Perfection.

Speaker 1: 16:18

So if you want to go right back to the beginning and hear's some of the early ones, pop in there and have a look. There's some other great ones in there. There's ones about motorbiking. If you know me well, you'll know I love a motorbike, so there's ones about motorbiking and mental health in there. There's one in there from the PDA space. They're talking about PDA. There's Danny Wallace, the Queen Bee, talking about perfection and parenting.

Speaker 1: 16:42

Who else have we got in there? We've got Heidi Maver. We've got a great one with Heidi Maver, um, we have got oh, there's just so many, there's so many. I could go back and just list them all for you, but that would be really boring. Those are kind of some of the earlier ones that happened in the early times which you might not even realize are there, um, and then we've had some more recent ones. You know I've been talking about dyslexia and how dyslexia impacts me as a parent. There's a double, like a two-part one on that one trying to think. There's one from nicole bateman, who came on just recently, was talking about epilepsy and the impact um living with epilepsy has on her as a parent. So there's loads to go back in there. There's loads to go back and have a look. Oh, the other one as well that gets listened to a lot, I know is the one that I did with Claire Baker from Restless Minds UK is Beyond Attendance when we were talking about EBSA. So emotionally based school avoidance and being neurodivergent. That's a really great one as well. That gets a lot of listens, that one. So if you are looking for something, a couple of downloads before you go away you can have a listen to a couple of episodes. There's longer ones, there's shorter ones, it's kind of whatever takes your fancy.

Speaker 1: 17:58

Really the whole purpose of the podcast and I kind of thought, you know it'd be a nice time to think about. Why do we do the podcast? What's it for? You know who am I doing it for? Well, it's for you. It's for you as parents, it's for you as parents in neurodivergent and additional needs families, but also, I think, any parents in any kind of families will take stuff away from this.

Speaker 1: 18:20

The conversations that I have with guests are about certain topics. It might be something that they specialise in or an area that they specialise in, but always it comes back to what it's like to being a parent. It's low demand, there is no shame, and it's meeting parents where they are. This podcast is not about you're doing it wrong and this is what you need to do, because nobody knows that. Nobody knows what it's like to be the parent that you are in, the family that you are in, with the needs and the strengths and the glimmers and the sparkles that you have in your family, alongside the needs that you have as a parent, alongside the needs that you have as a parent. So I would never, ever, set myself up to be the kind of person to say this is what you need to do, this is just what you need to do. But what I do hope is that the podcast will give people little ideas, strategies, things they hadn't maybe thought of, that they thought think that might work quite well for us as a family, that you take what you need and you leave what you don't, and that the biggest thing is that I want for the podcast is that it becomes about you as a parent and it's meeting you where you are, and that we feel less alone.

Speaker 1: 19:36

Because I think the more and more I have experienced being a parent myself and I'm now my oldest is 15 that the more and more I experience being a parent, I realize how isolating it can be, and that's not just when you've got kids with additional needs, whether that's then your diversion or whatever that additional need is. It's not always about that, but parenting can be really isolating that we. There's a sense of shame when things don't go right, and I think there's a lot of blame on parents as well when things don't go right, and we aren't very good that when things go wrong going, do you know what I did? Blooming brilliant with that? That was down to me.

Speaker 1: 20:24

You know, sometimes when you're when someone might say to you know, your kid was so well behaved, or your kid was this, or your kid's lovely, or I love talking to your kid about whatever it is that sometimes we we're not very good at sitting back and going. You know what I did that. I made that and I've done a really good job, because a lot of the time we don't we're not very good at sitting back and going. You know what I did that. I made that and I've done a really good job, because a lot of the time we don't, we just concentrate on the stuff that we're probably not or feel that we're not doing so well that we could do better at. And there's nothing wrong with thinking about what we could do better all the time. But sometimes we do need to give ourselves a bit of grace and go. Do you know what? I've done a good job and I'm doing okay, and I might get things wrong and that's okay. So that's the whole purpose of the podcast.

Speaker 1: 21:04

I suppose I just wanted to touch base on that. I'm having a little think. We've been in series one for a long time with the Untypical Parent podcast, talking each episode with the guests around are you the perfect parent? Got a bit of an idea that I might have a bit of a change. So I am thinking I'll have to let you know when it would be, because I've already got some recorded for our guest episodes that are due still to come out and they are still are you the perfect parent? But I think we're going to have a bit of a move, even if it's just for a short time.

Speaker 1: 21:37

We might return over that. In fact, I'd be interested to know. I'd be interested to know whether you think do I keep going with are you the perfect parent as our kind of series, or return to it? Are you ready for something different? I know that my brain likes a bit of novelty so it likes to kind of think, oh, what next? But I have to be, I have to listen to you guys.

Speaker 1: 22:02

So if there are some of you out there thinking, oh, no, don't change it, I quite like the just sticking with the um, are you the perfect parent as a kind of rough series kind of title thing, and but I've just kind of got this idea. I've got this idea about I quite like to change it and I'd quite like to look at rest, yeah, rest, parent. Exactly that's why I want that one and I kind of have this idea. Um, so let me know. I'd really like to know. You can either email me, so the email is she says I should know, off the top of my head is contact at untypicalparentpodcastcom or, like I spoke about, if you look in the show notes, at the top there's some highlighted text and on that you can click on it and you can text me direct.

Speaker 1: 22:58

So I really love to know whether there's a series that you think, oh, I quite like that we kind of talk talks about, and it might even be a short series, like four episodes or six episodes, or it could be a bigger one, like this one's been. This one's been a huge one. I can't even remember how many episodes we've had now, because our last one that we had was with the chronically resilient OT when she was talking about chronic illness and I can't see on my stuff here what episode that was. That's a bit annoying. Okay, 16. So we've had 16 episodes. Maybe it's time for a change. That might freak some of you out and you might be like, please don't do that, liz. Anyway, this was only meant to be a short one.

Speaker 1: 23:47

I don't mean to be jumping on, popping on to have a quick chat and, um, it's gone on. So I would really love to hear from you. Basically is what I'm saying and the text messages might be the quickest way to do it, especially if you're looking like me and you're in the middle of the holidays and you think, yeah, I'll do that, but I'll get back to it at some point. But if you've got like a really burning desire that you think actually don't, don't change it, we want to keep it as are you the perfect parent as the series and we just keep rolling with that series or whether you're ready for a bit of a change up. I just feel like I'm ready for a bit of a change up, having a few more different conversations. So I'd be really interested if you've got a topic or an area that you think, yeah, that'd be really nice to have a think about and talk about. Or this is really important to me at the moment. There's that. The other thing is, I've got bear with me, if you're still with me is I have done an episode on tribunal trauma.

Speaker 1: 24:46

Now, it's taken me a long time to record this episode because I get very emotional about it and the impact that it has on me, hence the title. I think I've given it a slightly different title for the podcast, but it's basically about tribunal trauma and I keep going to put it out and then I take it off and move it because I'm not sure and I've gone backwards and forwards about it and trying to work out why I'm hesitant to put it out. And I think what stuck with me the most is one of it has been that I think, as I haven't been so great with my health over the last couple of months that I've thought I don't know whether I can have it out there yet, because if it invites conversation and storytelling and asking questions, I'm not sure whether I'm in a place to be able to do that at the moment. So that's been part of my pause. But the other pause was that I don't know whether it's something you want to hear about, because I do talk about how difficult it was. Hence it's called tribunal trauma and the the episode that I put out.

Speaker 1: 25:55

I worried that I would frighten parents or worry parents, because I know there was a lot of you out there that are still going through that process or heading towards that process or having to go back through the process, and I didn't want to put it out because the podcast is meant to be helpful. That is is the point of the podcast. It's helpful, it's realistic and we talk about what's difficult and upsetting and, you know, sometimes the most darkest points in our lives can be through our parenting, whilst we're parenting, whilst we're parenting. So I, our podcast, this podcast is real and I want it to keep it real, but I also want it to be helpful and I don't want it to be well. This is now just maybe thoroughly depressed and now I'm terrified. So, again, I thought I'd put that out as a as a question, whether it is something you want to hear about, whether it is you want to hear about that experience.

Speaker 1: 26:46

And I think the biggest takeaway from that episode is me saying that the actual tribunal itself isn't what caused me the trauma. It was all the crap that went before it, all the lead up, all the fighting to get this and trying to get that, and the impact that had on us as a family, and I suppose the other reason for me wanting to put it out was not necessarily for it to go out to parents, because we know how difficult it is. But I do have a plea in that episode around professionals working alongside us as families that are going through tribunal, but also, much higher than that, thinking about. You know, there are lots of talk at the moment about SEND and what they're going to do with that and what the government are going to do, and there's even been talk about, you know, did we get rid of tribunal, which terrifies me? So it was also that conversation was trying to get this conversation to those people that need to hear it, but I wasn't sure that they were necessarily listeners of the podcast.

Speaker 1: 27:55

So, as listeners of the podcast, I need your guidance on this one. I think if it's something you think you would like to, you'd like to hear about, I will put that episode out when I feel ready for it as well, if that makes sense and say it was a difficult episode to record and there is a little bit in the middle where I get a bit upset but I get it back together again. Um, and you know it might just be interesting to hear from someone that's been through it, but not just as a parent. But you know, I was. I've been a professional and I've worked providing reports for tribunal. I've worked alongside families that have been through tribunal and until you've been through it, it's nothing you can quite understand. Until you've been through it, I don't think so. Let me know there was loads of stuff in there to remember. I'm really sorry. I'll sum it all up now, hopefully really succinctly.

Speaker 1: 28:50

There is a text me button where you can send me a text message. You can text me about anything to do with the show there. That would be nice to hear whether you love it, whether there's, you know, some suggestions you've got and whether there's a particular episode that you really love. Tell me why, um, whether there's any particular guests you would like on, and I will do my best. I'm sending out messages to a couple of people that I think would be amazing to be on the podcast, but if you've got some suggestions, let me know.

Speaker 1: 29:15

So there was that one, um, there was. What do you think about having a little bit of a change for a different series? Do we change it up? And I'd like to do one around, rest. And then, finally, do you want me to release the podcast about the tribunals? I'm not offended if people go. No, I'd rather you just didn't, because I'm right in the middle of it and I don't want to hear about it, in which case I can always warn people. If I get enough that, say yes, let me know.

Speaker 1: 29:47

So there's those three things. Three things sending you stay strong, vibes for the summer if you're having a wobbly time. Sending you enjoy those moments if you're having a great time. Find the little moments, the micro moments where you think do you know what? I really enjoyed that little bit, and it might be something really tiny, it might be something like you sat and watched a movie together and actually that was really nice, even though the sun was shining beautifully outside, never got outside, doesn't matter. Find those little micro moments, celebrate those. Celebrate the little, small, little wins.

Speaker 1: 30:22

All that leaves me to say is thank you so much for joining me. I always appreciate you joining me. I know in your busy schedules and what you're doing and in your lives it could be tricky to do that. So thank you for joining me, take care and I will see you soon. Thank you for listening and choosing to spend your time with me today. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with a friend, who might just feel reassured to know that they aren't on their own. And if you've got a moment, a quick rating or review helps others to find the podcast too. If you want to stay in the loop with the podcast updates and all things Untypical OT, just drop me an email and I'd be really happy to add you to the list. Take care and I'll see you soon.