My brain has a soundtrack - anyone else?

This week I share a comment from a listener. Sharon Thompson wrote what it’s like parenting in a neurodivergent family, the realities people don’t always see, and the strength it takes to keep showing up.

And in amongst that I’m bringing a little lightness too… because I’ve realised something about myself, I regulate with singing.
But I also think in songs.
Words and phrases trigger lyrics, and yes, sometimes I even treat everyone to a “perfect” song line… until my son reminds me it absolutely wasn’t perfect.

If you’re navigating neurodivergent family life, you’ll feel seen in this one.

Chapters

• 0:59 Mini-Series Setup And Sharon’s Note
• 1:35 Navigating Sensitive Nervous Systems
• 3:22 Small Wins And Realistic Victories
• 4:09 Advocacy And Breaking Old Patterns
• 5:04 Why Singing Helps Me Regulate
• 8:49 The “Perfect” Song And A Son’s Review
• 10:59 Everyday Regulators: Music, Movement, And More

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:30

Hello and welcome back to the Untypical Parent Podcast. This is the continuation of the mini-series hearing the words of other parents and getting those into the podcast for you to hear them. So I'm just going to read this one out because this is a bit of a longer one. So today's one is from Sharon Thompson. And Sharon was happy for me to give her a shout out on the podcast. So, Sharon, thank you ever so much for sharing your thoughts. The question, as always, as you'll know for this small mini-series, is parenting in a neurodivergent family is. And Sharon writes, like trying to navigate and manage multiple sensitive nervous systems, like observing the downward spiral that affects everyone when someone in the family is dysregulated and trying to work out how you all climb back up, starting with yourself. Like small wins meaning such a lot and big wins meaning a victory, but also understanding that it might be a one-off. Like learning how to grow in assertiveness and confidence to speak up and advocate for your children when you didn't often manage to do it for yourself. Like having the courage to look back on unhealthy patterns in your own family and childhood and being determined to break those cycles whilst already having your hands full. That comment from Sharon sums up so much. I know there are going to be a lot of us out there that will hear that and be able to, and that will resonate with us really heavily. Sharon talks in there a lot about you know things like nervous systems, um, but also what I'm hearing and seeing in there is the importance of being able to navigate. Kind of keen on the navigate word, but that's what we are doing is navigating the ups and downs. And I think often in neurodivergent families, those ups and downs are so much bigger. They go up and they go back down with huge, great big swings. And like Sharon writes in there, you know, small wins meaning such a lot, and a big win means a victory, but also us understanding that that might not always be around, that it might be a one-off or it might be temporary. But being able to celebrate those wins in the moment when we do get them is so important. So I want to thank Sharon for that and thank her for her comment around what parenting in a neurodivergent family is like for her. I was just thinking today generally about parenting in neurodivergent families, and I think what came to mind today was um I sing quite a lot. Now I like to sing because for me it's a regulation thing. So it helps calm me, it uses my breath, it uses vibration. I'll get into you know, get my sensory hat on and all my OT stuff now when I start talking about singing. But the the benefits of singing is is huge, and I really enjoy it, and I sing a lot. And sometimes I sing songs that I know well, and sometimes I sing songs as part of a conversation. Don't know whether anyone else does that, that when I am talking, there'll be a phrase and a sentence that will remember remind me of a song, and I'll just burst into a song. And why this reminds me of that today is I've been downstairs with my son a little after three o'clock, made myself a cup of tea, and I was in the middle of a conversation with him, and a song burst into my head, and I started to sing this song, and I think I can't remember why was it I was singing about being perfect? I shouldn't be singing about being perfect, really, on the Untypical Parent podcast. He was singing, he was talking to you about something, and I think I said something like, Well, I am perfect, and being sarcastic, of course. And I then burst into the song, and I think it's by fairground attraction. So if you know and you can confirm that, then let me know. But I think it's fairground attraction. They used to sing, it's got to be perfect, and I went off on a a bit of a so that's what happens. I hear a word and off I go. And my son fell completely silent. I'm singing away to him, and he fell falls completely silent and looks at me, and I just said to him, What's wrong? And he just went, That was anything but perfect. And I quite enjoy it. But sometimes it can hit quite hard. I didn't think it was that bad. Anyway, that was our kind of little thing that popped up today was my singing. I don't know whether anyone else does that. I it it it happens a lot, and sometimes it pops out of my mouth and sometimes it stays in my head. But it's often there are a lot of songs jumbling around in my head as people are talking, as I'm talking. Um, and if I burst into song every time one of those happens, it would be like one of those musicals on the TV. It would you'd all think I was slightly strange. But I just I'd like to know are there anybody else? Are there any other people out there? It doesn't matter if you're a parent or not, but think in songs. So when people talk, it reminds you of a song. But I was just the reason I was thinking about that and linking it in with kind of Sharon's comment in, was just thinking about um how we manage as parents in neurodivergent families, in SE and D families, in additional needs families, is there are sometimes where you have some little quirks that just help us through the day. And as I say, the singing for me is a really, really big regulator. And you'll often find me singing. I love being in the car on my own, where I can sing along as loud as possible to all sorts of music. You will hear me listening to people like Dave, if you haven't heard of him, and you're thinking, Who the hell is Dave? Go and have a listen. I think he's fabulous. Might not be who you expect me to be listening to, but I like to be untypical. I'm keeping him with the name. Um, through to Stevie Nicks, back out the other side to Oasis, to Kula Shaker, to Guns N' Roses, I don't care what it is. I have such an eclectic music taste, I don't care. As long as I can sing along to it, and I'm quite lucky as well, in a way, in that I can predict melodies quite easily. So even if you play me a new song within kind of a couple of frames, um bars rather, I can pick up what the tune and where the tune will go and can hum along to it. So I'm just wondering in your everyday life, what things do you use that help to regulate you? Is it singing? Is it dancing? I know some people that dance, I'm not really a dancer unless I'm in the car singing, then I'm dancing. I've had a few strange looks every so often. And also in the summer, it's not good. You've got to have the aircon on if you're singing in the car and then make sure your windows are shut because you do get some very odd looks from people when you're singing as loud as you can in the car. But it's something that I really enjoy doing and it really helps. Um I know some people that clean to help regulate, and that wouldn't help me. Hoovering would probably set me off. Um, and actually I find hoovering quite difficult just with all the kind of arthritis and stuff. So, yeah, cleaning doesn't do it for me. I know other people run. I know we've had the a lovely badger education on uh Charlotte Mountford, and she runs, and that's her regulator, and I wish I could run. I really do wish I could run. I was always a netballer. I was a netballer, so I'm short and sharp here and there, you know, long distance, nah, never very good at it. Even at school, I just didn't have the breath. So running doesn't and I get quite jealous when I see people run. I think I'd like to be able to run like that. Um some people might use sport as a regulator. I know some people read, or you'll know me. If you know me by now, dyslexic, yep, you're not gonna find me reading. Audiobooks, I do listen to those. Those have gone down quite well with me recently. Audiobooks are really helping. In the car, I listen to them podcasts. There's a really good podcast out usually. I think it's called the Untypical Podcast. Or the untypical parent podcast. If I didn't get my name right for the podcast, that doesn't help. The podcasts, all that kind of stuff, listening to those kind of things. And then other things I suppose that happen for me and helping me are things like I have quite a lot of blankets around, I like fairy lights, I've got fairy lights often around in the house. So it's adjusting things like my lighting, getting under a blanket, which is much easier in the winter than it is in the summer. I don't do well in the summer when it's really hot. So that was just kind of thinking about I think it Sharon's carnival Sharon's comment that was left um made me think about nervous systems and thinking about regulation, and that's why my brain went off from the complete tangent then, and you ended up getting 10 minutes of me talking about singing, which uh I hope you appreciated. And you even got a little taste of my singing. So if anyone would like to congratulate me or let me know how well this how good the singing was, because my son didn't think so, then I would love to hear from you. Anyway, little short one as always for this week. Uh I hope you're having a week, as Heidi Maver says, and I will catch you all soon on the next podcast. If you would like to have a comment of yours read out, then please do let me know. You can either text the show, you can leave a comment on one of my um social media, but just make sure you tag me in so I see them. Um very happy. You can do it anonymously, you can have a shout-out, whatever you like. If you've got a question, if you've got a guest that you think you'll be really great on the podcast, you should know by now. I will go out to nearly anybody. I'm still waiting for Brene Brown to get back to me. You can you can but hope. One day she might. And then I can fangirl. Um I will ask, what's the worst that could happen? They other don't respond or they say no, and I'm in no worse off position than I was before. So if you've got a guest that you think, oh, that would be amazing, I'd love to hear them talk, let me know. I'll stick them an email or a message, a direct message, and see what I can do. And I'll let you know when Bruno says yes. All right, I will see you all soon. Take care and goodbye.