#7 Self-Care Strategies for Women Over 50 w Krista Wegner & Becky Langton

In this episode of Empowered Over 50, host Miriam Bulcher discusses the unique health challenges faced by women over 50 with guests Becky and Krista from Tandem Wellness. They explore the importance of self-care, nutrition, exercise, and community support in navigating these changes. The conversation emphasizes the need for women to give themselves permission to prioritize their health and well-being, and to set realistic goals that focus on process rather than just outcomes. In this conversation, Krista Wegner and Becky discuss the importance of functional fitness, gratitude, and the empowerment of women through wellness retreats. They emphasize the need for self-compassion, accountability, and community support as women navigate the challenges of aging and personal growth. The discussion highlights the significance of investing in oneself and recognizing the power women hold in their lives and the impact they can have on others.
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Transcript

Miriam Bulcher (00:00.686)
Welcome to today's episode of Empowered Over 50. So I really wanted to bring into the conversation the health aspect of being over 50 because it is a big pain point. And honestly, it's a pain point for anybody at any age, but there are definitely certain changes that come along with being over 50 that is like kind of tricky to address. And from what I've heard from a lot of my clients,

is that it's very hard to get the relevant information, especially if you don't have a lot of women in your circle that are in the same age group as you. So I brought on here today amazing clients of mine, Becky and Krista, and they run Tandem Wellness. And I would love for you guys to introduce yourselves and your business.

Becky (00:42.806)
I do you wanna take that one?

Krista Wegner (00:44.741)
Sure. So Becky and I have known each other forever, it seems. And we run a business called Tandem, which we dreamt up years ago when we were in college at UW-Stevens Point. And so we basically work together on helping women with self-care through retreats that they can come and just take time, reset.

hit the pause button and get back to who they are. And I think that personally is one of the things with menopause and being over 50, that you start to kind of see a light where you can start to think about yourself just a tad bit more, but then at the same time all these things are happening to you that it's confusing. So it's a space where we think it's a perfect spot for people to kind of...

really just reset and rethink about who they want to be in these next chapters of their lives. Becky, you want to add?

Miriam Bulcher (01:46.494)
I love that so much because that is exactly a perfect summary of what we wanted to talk about here today. So let's talk about the confusion and the frustration because I think every single woman that I know, whether they're coming in for a photo shoot or just, you know, we're talking, it's like, well, I don't like this about me. And since, you know, I've turned or since I've been experiencing menopause, I have this bloated belly or I have this puffiness or I have, know, and the list is, you know, and

between from what I've heard from all these women, you the list is rather extravagant. And that's totally okay. But how does a woman when she's gone through these changes, how do you navigate like that level of frustration? Because it kind of leaves you like in this, what feels like a, like a no man's land, like, who do I talk to you? First of all, am I going to get the right information? If I go to my doc, is this even worth the conversation to have with my doctor? Right? Like where do I even start? Whether it's food, exercise.

drinking water? I don't know. feel like, you know, there's just so much information out there. How does a woman just know what to do with this level of frustration?

Becky (02:55.048)
take this one for a second, but I can say this that talking about it is really important and let's bring it up because we're all going through different things at different times. So if we could back it up for just a moment, we know that from a cellular perspective, there are two distinct periods of time in our lives where we experience cellular aging. And the first is about 45.

And then the second one in our lives and our lifespan is about 65. So the things that happen to our DNA at 45 may show up as meeting the readers. It may show up as feeling like my body is changing. I'm not sure why it's changing. Why is my waistline expanding? I'm not changing anything else, but suddenly

I am up a size or two. It could be brain fog. It could be a lot of things. And some of these things resonate with perimenopause into menopause. But at the same time, it's not a one size fits all for every single person. So I think Christa and I both agree that finding a medical, someone under the medical umbrella that is

understanding those concerns and that could potentially help with hormone optimization, moving you through a phase in your life that you'll never experience again. That is so important. That is outside Krista and my scope. And so we always say, you know, refer out whenever necessary and find qualified qualified folks, whether that is your GP.

whether that is another avenue, there's lots out there right now. And yes, it's super confusing. So I feel like our position here is not necessarily to tackle that conversation, but to tackle the practical magic. And when we think about practical magic, we think about food. We make more decisions every day about food than anything else that we do. And so finding

Miriam Bulcher (05:04.494)
you

Becky (05:17.014)
a way of looking at and using food for our advantage. And we can go a little deeper into that Miriam if you want to. Movement. We know that at this time in our lives, all the cardio junkies out there, as much as you're loving your running and your biking, we've got to hit the weights. And the research tells us that wherever we are, we're going to start where we are. And then we want to build.

We want to build muscle. That is liquid gold in our bodies, especially as we're aging from bone density to the lean tissue to our brain matter. It makes a huge difference to build muscle. And there's a way of doing that quite effectively. And that is through a very, very specific exercise prescription. But like when we think about hydration and we think about sleep, these are like the fundamentals of that.

If that could be like the base of the conversation, we must find a way to get recovery. Because what we're doing in the gym and the foods that we're eating and how we're hydrating can manifest into health only if we are resting. Because that is when we grow, that's when we're cleaning, that's when we're defragmenting our brain. And so really finding a healthy relationship with sleep as well as hydration.

Miriam Bulcher (06:21.848)
you

Becky (06:43.112)
And so we feel that those fundamental aspects can really help the physical side of things. You can get grounded and aligned and many people feel much better when they're consistently meeting those sort of checking those boxes, if you will. Yeah.

Miriam Bulcher (07:02.316)
Yeah. Let's.

Krista Wegner (07:03.62)
And I would add it as well, all of those things, but also intuition. I mean, we've got an intuitive quality that allows us, sometimes there's so much noise outside of us that we don't listen to ourselves. We don't listen to what our body needs. We get confused by...

We can, this is do this, don't do that anymore, do this, that's out now. And so a lot of times we're just shifting gears constantly instead of just pausing, listening to our body and then saying, what do I need at this stage? Do I need hormones? Do I not? Do I think I do? And then going from there, because a lot of times, and talking to your friends, the people that you trust and that you know have been where you are, I mean, in a lot of ways we're in the trenches,

Like we're just trying to figure out what it is that we need. And so I think having a sisterhood with people that you trust, you can talk about transparently, and then also just tapping into your own intuition as well.

Miriam Bulcher (08:07.178)
So let's talk about what I feel like, especially if I think about, you know, clients that have been in this position as well as like even for me, I mean, how do you number one, give yourself permission to even go down this path? Because, you know, we're busy, especially for anyone that's had children or they're busy with their careers or they're even making career shifts. I mean, it is incredibly difficult to kind of like, you know, it's like a train that's running full speed.

you know, and it's extremely difficult. You know, you have these passive frustrations. They're not even passive, but they're frustrations that are like playing in the background. And it's like, how do you give yourself permission? Because it's very difficult as a woman, regardless of children or not to say, I'm just going to give myself the time to pause. I'm going to give myself permission to change up my regimen in a way that actually serves me. Because I feel like society has kind of programmed us to be like,

give, give, give, give, give, whether it's to work, children, your community, whatever it might be. So how do you handle that aspect or what suggestions will you give to a woman who's like, I don't know, it doesn't feel safe for me to give myself that permission.

Krista Wegner (09:23.236)
I think it's very much like, you know, when you're in an airplane and they say, your mask on first. But it's easy to deprogram that very quickly and say, I can't do that though. Everybody else needs me. This needs to happen. This needs to happen. To busy ourselves in many ways and been guilty. mean, so I'm not, I'm...

But I think at the end of the day, when we really pour into ourselves, we're much more able to pour into others, obviously. I mean, it sounds so obvious when we say it, right? But it's not easy. And especially for some people, self-care is second nature. For some people, it's not at all. So again, I think it's knowing who you are too and knowing if you need help with that. And that's why I think we're so passionate about our retreats because

A lot of times you don't even know you need it until you get it and then you're like, Why have I not been doing this? Well, because nobody's gonna say here's three hours. Please go do whatever you want to do Nobody is ever gonna say that to you It's gonna be you saying I'm going to take this time Becky

Becky (10:36.788)
to add to that, I'm going to add to that Krista, because that's such a really good point. One of the things, so Miriam, you asked like how with somebody who has the mindset of I shouldn't, I couldn't, I won't, how do we invite those folks to think about change? And first of all, it's asking questions. Instead of saying, okay, so and so, you need to be...

adding massage and getting this and getting that, it's more along the lines of what are you doing in a day? Back up a little bit. Let's look at your daily rituals. Where, where, how are you spending your time in a 24 hour period of time? What's working really well? What resonates with you? What is not working as well? What is an opportunity? And then carrying that down.

to such a small change, to such a small thing that it invites the person who feels like that is selfish or that they don't value that as much. It helps to bring the barrier down for some of those folks and starts starting very, very small. It might be something along the lines of

pairing it with something they're already doing that is a habit and being able to very easily add or subtract something and to help them nourish themselves one decision and one choice at a time. And so it's not an all or nothing mindset. I think one of the things that we're really clear about here is that behavior change is a lifetime experience.

And it happens one tiny little decision at a time. And then what we see is that when people begin that journey, it's a lot easier for that next thing. And then the next thing, and then it feels like a domino effect because what they realize over time is that when they do put their oxygen mask on first, they are so much more present and available and well.

Becky (13:02.134)
for the rest of their lives and they show up differently to the rest of their lives.

Miriam Bulcher (13:06.562)
That is really, really, really powerful. And I hope that, you know, especially to the women that are listening to this podcast really helps give them, you know, and that's why I wanted to have you on here, you know, to really give them that little push. And I think to see the different perspective, because I think that's really tricky, right? When you're in the trenches to be like, how on earth do I even get a different perspective? You know, when all you see in front of you is like, two inches and it's like, gosh, you know, how do I, how do I pivot? And so let's

deepen that conversation a little bit more into what are some frustrations or things that tend to happen that you've seen or maybe you've experienced yourself that when you start to make the change, make it, and it doesn't matter if it makes it harder, but some things that just might, I don't know, they're like not kind of standard conversation or a woman might be able to know what to expect in terms of like, if there are any downsides or upsides, that's just.

I know, kind of help gain, again, even more perspective into the, yes, you know, the first hard step is going to be opening the door, but then once you open that door, here are some things that you might want to be aware of.

Krista Wegner (14:12.866)
we do an activity called the circle of life at the beginning of our retreat. We do connection calls before our retreat. And so we do an activity called the circle of life. it's a activity with a, think there's, I can't even remember how many are on there, but it just goes from social connections, faith life, career, relationships, all of the things, home cooking.

movement, all of the things that are on a wellness wheel that, again, people can... So you fill it out and you put a dot on the circle. And so your ideal circle would obviously be all the points are out and your circle's round.

Perfection, I mean you would have to be just doing that probably, you like that's all you're doing. And so when we fill them out, they look a little wonky sometimes. But I think again, the idea is that it's awareness. Because sometimes we just don't even know, we know something's off. Thank you, Becky, thanks. We know something is off and we know something is, we know our wheel feels wonky, but we don't know.

why it's not rolling so well, right? So if we can look at that tool and say, I didn't realize I was eating out six days a week or whatever it might be. So now that makes sense why I don't feel so great. Maybe I need to take my home cooking. So the idea isn't taking all of those things and going, I'm going to change them all today. As Becky was saying, that is unrealistic and you will not be able to continue it. You know, it's just, you're going to burn out.

So taking one or two of those things and then saying, I'm gonna take these one or two things and I'm gonna focus on those. And then it's kind of crowding out the other things. That's another term we use is the crowding out of things. So instead of saying I'm gonna make my diet or my food choices perfect, they're gonna be flawless. But again, you go to a party and all of a sudden, oops, I've fallen off the wagon. Well, how about you just say, today I'm gonna focus on drinking my water.

Krista Wegner (16:25.412)
Today I'm gonna focus on, so not feeling bad about the things we're not doing incredible because life is happening to us every single day. It's just how can I take these things that I know are making me feel a little unbalanced and try and balance it a little more.

Becky (16:44.566)
piggyback on that, we also address their why. One of the big reasons why New Year's resolutions, for example, are not always successful, and many times create big setbacks, is because you think of something that starts on a date, but we haven't really done any process work to begin. And so we work with the Chasca's

trans theoretical model of change where we first see somebody at pre-contemplation, contemplation, then we have a preparation phase, then we have an action phase, and then you have a maintenance phase. And so to get somebody processing their, whatever that, that small change or that one goal is, it is a step-by-step process, a lot of interpersonal work, probably a little bit of priority.

reorganization and management. Sometimes it takes some time and not everybody's on the same timeline to get to a place where you're truly in action mode. And then when you are in action mode, there are going to be weeks that you fly off the rails. And the secret sauce is reminding ourselves daily why we're choosing that. So why that makes you cry.

It's got to be deeper than the superficial. It's got to go deep to an emotional body because when we're attached to something emotionally, we are much more likely to adhere to something and whatever we do consistently, we create. So the creation is what we're looking for. And along that journey, Miriam folks are going to find a number of barriers and obstacles. So one of the big conversations we have with our clientele

are on how do we address those challenges? How can we overcome that obstacle or that barrier? was just working with a woman last week on meal prepping for her family. She's got a family of four and she finds that she does really well for a week or so. And then they're ordering pizza in Chinese. And this is so common because if it takes too much energy and it's not part of your game plan in your week,

Becky (19:10.442)
then it's really difficult to be consistent. And so it's finding where on calendar she is deciding on the meals with her family. She's delegated some of this now to her other family members. Great idea, by the way, delegation. And then having a plan as to who's making the grocery list, getting the grocery shopping done. She's now doing it online because she just doesn't have the time to go to the grocery store. Whereas for some people,

That visceral experience of walking through the grocery store is just something that's lovely. That's not for everybody. And now because we've got what have you, people shopping for you, you can cut that piece out so that that can be realistic and achievable. Everybody's obstacles and barriers are going to be different. Everyone's self-talk and language that they're using with themselves is very different. So it's a lot of awareness and a lot of willingness.

to solve the problem at its root, not just chopping it off at the surface.

Miriam Bulcher (20:17.004)
Mm-hmm. And I mean, everything you said there, like I'm obsessed with both of your answers because it really is about, you know, the baby steps in the building blocks and essentially creating a foundation that does serve you ultimately, even though it might seem a little daunting. I mean, and just the organization of how you present it to women is so beautiful because it really does eliminate that frustration and it really gives them a very clear.

path, but also it gives them permission and realism that like, hey, this isn't going to be like, you know, going on, you know, Whole30 at the beginning of the year and then you have to maintain it for like the rest of eternity, right? Like it's so realistic. And I'm really hoping that that in and of itself, you know, really inspires the women that are listening to be like, my gosh, it doesn't have to be this, you know, my gosh, I want to look for my health. Therefore the rest of my life is going to be dreadful and that I can't eat out or change how I see eating out or, you know, like I can find ways.

in which the health can serve me that doesn't feel so overloaded and overbearing. I want you to both talk about, well you don't have to both talk about it, but you know what I'm saying. The aspect of goals in terms of like more so the perspective of what life is going to look like because I feel that a lot of women

almost like avoid thinking about like, okay, I don't really know what the rest of my life is going to look like. And maybe I don't want to think about it because, you know, we've seen all the ads where it's like, it kind of causes a sense of dread, like, well, I'm going to have to keep an eye out for this and this and this and this and this. And then it's like, so, you know, you just are like, well, maybe, you know, ignorance is bliss. But in essence, it's really not that. So how does a woman, you know, kind of

get the confidence to be like, I do have control over what I want the rest of my life to look like. And how does she get a sense of empowerment as to, it doesn't, you know, this is something that can serve me and I can actually look to the future and kind of get excited and feel like I have a sense of power versus like, I just cannot deal with the anxiety of what that will look like because there's what feels like so many negatives surrounding that, you know, future is stick aspect of things once you reach.

Miriam Bulcher (22:30.574)
50.

Krista Wegner (22:32.312)
Go ahead.

Becky (22:32.416)
Can I start with that? I feel really strongly about that one and love that question. one of the, I also teach at a community college. I teach in the health fitness recreation division with my students. And we talk a lot about this because goal setting in itself just sounds like such power in the sky. Like, yeah, I'm gonna set this goal and.

about three people achieve it out of a million, you know, that type of thing. One of the things that we really, we really emphasize is this conversation of, okay, what would we like that to look like out there? Okay, that's, that's like that long-term six month, whatever it is, goal. But then it's carrying it back, Miriam, to make it so manageable and so realistic.

and looking at them as opposed to an outcome goal, these really like daily process goals, things that I only need to look five minutes out in front of me in order to manage. And being confident in that these small daily changes will in fact add up over time. So as opposed to thinking about where I have to be, it's where am I right?

now. So mindfulness gives such clarity and calmness to the work of change. And you manifest your goals moment to moment, as opposed to thinking the pressure of all of that out there. Especially in our age demographic, because the bar is constantly moving.

in terms of our bodies and our minds and our energy. Things are changing all the time. And so being in the moment is really powerful. Having a good firm belief that you'll achieve an outcome down the road of being in the moment.

Krista Wegner (24:48.46)
And I would say also to that point, I agree with all of that, that it really, if we can look at it as such a privilege, we get more wisdom. I if I knew what I know now back in my 20s, I mean, I think, wow, I would have lived so differently. would have, I mean, no regrets, of course, but there is a wisdom to aging that's beautiful. so, Becky and I always say, active aging, we're active

aging. That's our kind of our big thing. Like, let's be the active agers, you know? And so I think just being, like she was saying, intentional, mindful about, again, is it going to be perfect every day? No. And should there be shame attached to that? No.

We've had enough shame over the years, right? Like we don't need that. We don't need that piece of it. Beauty and health look different to every single person, but we seem to make it look one size. And so I think that's kind of a mind stop that we have to get over as well as a culture. But I do believe that, you know, it really is about how you,

you actively age and how you feel about your movement in this day, your breath in this day, and then just realizing that it is a privilege. It is a privilege that we're aging and it should be celebrated versus dreaded.

Becky (26:25.758)
And one of the goals that we often hear when we're speaking with our clients is a weight loss go Miriam. And we really try to discourage primary goals being weight loss related because what we're doing is we're equating our value as a human being to the gravitational pull to the earth. And we know that weight is made up of a lot of things. We've got water.

We've got lean mass, which is bones, organs, muscle, and then there's fat mass. And so when we're thinking about goal setting, when someone comes to me and says, I want to lose 20 pounds, I'll say, what can't you do now that you'll be able to do 20 pounds lighter? Can we address that? Can we get into that conversation? Because then we can get some really tangible information in addition to

what probably is important to them, which is weighing less on the scale, because culturally, we have an obsession with that. And what Krista and I are trying to do is help to say, okay, but can we pair that with something else so that we can celebrate other things outside of what the scale says? And I don't know that that was part of your question, but I really felt like we should address that.

Krista Wegner (27:49.221)
and.

And to that point as well, know, when I, I would get grand babies and when I carry them around, it's like, that is the reason it's functional fitness now. That is the reason I want to be strong. Back in the day, I wanted to be strong so I could maybe look better in a swimsuit or, whatever it might have been. Still, let's be honest, that's nice too. mean, but mostly so that I can carry them and play with them and get on the floor and all those things that as we're aging, we're being grandchildren.

and it's a new stage of life that is so exciting and I want to be able to be on the floor, to be holding the kids as we go through the zoo and not be like, have to hand you off because my back is sore or whatever it may be. so, I mean, that's another way to look at it is the functional part of it.

Miriam Bulcher (28:41.548)
Yeah, and I love that we've talked about, you know, the privilege, right? Because it is very much, it's like you're shifting from go, go, go, go, go to wait, I get this opportunity. And I really should lean more into gratitude because, you know, it, mean, that word again, it's just so powerful because there are so many people who unfortunately do not get the privilege of getting to a certain age and, you know, agree again with

you know, the perspective of, well, we shouldn't be paying attention to what society is keep pushing us into, right? In terms of the weight and how we look and things like that, because at the end of the day, the experience that you have on a day to day basis, whether it's going for a bicycle ride and being able to enjoy nature. I mean, I had a client that, you know, she's obsessed with walking and she started having, you know, joint problems and it was like, okay, I need to address this because I do not want to lose my connection.

with nature because that literally gives me my sanity. And you know, it's like, how does that pertain to the conversation of how we look? And I mean, they're both equally important because it's very hard to go through physical changes and see your body change visually and, you know, experience all these different things as you age. But like you said, it's like, okay, well, they're not all getting replaced. They're all equally important. And how do we maintain that perspective and not just feel like, you know, Becky, you were saying like, okay,

Yes, you might want to lose 20 pounds, but you know, it doesn't have to be that you don't, you know, we're going to just forget the losing 20 pounds, but what, does that play into your functionality? And at the end of the day, what, you know, is going to change your day to day experience and your living, you know, what's going to affect that and what can we do to take a preventative approach to make sure that you're not experiencing these aches and pains and that affects your day to day living experience, whether it's going to a concert.

and having to walk a really long period of time or, you who knows? So when I want you to talk a little bit more about your retreats, because I know you mentioned it briefly in the beginning, but I really feel like, you know, it sounds so powerful, especially for the busy woman and especially for women who are like, you know what, maybe I'm newly retired, but I still don't know what to do with my time. And I'm feeling like lazy because I, know, or maybe they're

Miriam Bulcher (31:02.67)
they've moved right into retirement and it's the opposite. And they're going like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And wait, hold on. Am I really should, is this what I'm supposed to be doing? So explain to the listeners, you know, what you do in these retreats and how you can really help women to like really take charge and feel empowered in that sense.

Becky (31:22.56)
for it Krista. know you've got the best elevator pitch in the world so let's go.

Krista Wegner (31:23.684)
I've been fielding him first, you go. Go ahead, you can go. Yeah, good.

Becky (31:34.374)
now you're passing it to me. Okay. Okay. The, the idea of the retreat, came down to Krista and I, went to University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. We were health promotion majors. And in the health promotion degree program, we learned about what, what Krista alluded to with the circle of life, the seven dimensions of wellness. And we were really brought up as work from babies to young adults.

really learning in our program about the importance of that holistic aspect of wellness. And then the side bars, by the way, we should exercise at least 150 minutes a week and make sure we cut back on sugar, oil and salt and eat whole foods and less processed and get to sleep, blah, blah, blah. But really having a moment where you are asked to slow down.

So when someone registers for retreat, they arrive and they get to decompress and they get to have permission because we are asking them to do different things. So they are taking the time because we plan it in, in order for them to evaluate what's working well. Evaluate one small thing that they think, you know what?

Miriam Bulcher (32:57.838)
Hmm.

Becky (33:02.654)
I'm kind of done with this. I'm ready to let this go. And then we get to be grateful and be perfectly imperfect and do it in a small, safe community where everyone's going through the exact same thing.

And it is a two night journey. have three days, two nights. And there are other things that we do. There's planned time and then unplanned time. There's opportunity to be physically active. There's opportunity to rest. And we nourish them. We do all in-house plant-based cooking. And we don't include processed food in our retreats.

In a space of 48, a little over 48 hours, the cells of their body are not being bombarded by alcohol. They're not being bombarded by toxic technology. We ask them if it's okay with them to leave their phones and computers in their rooms or to not have it with them so they can be fully present.

We then nourish them so that it can be the beginning of the journey of decreasing inflammation because we both were taught and we believe very strongly that all disease, mental, physical and spiritual starts with some form of inflammation. And boy, to be able to give that gift to folks, we feel is our mission.

Miriam Bulcher (34:41.378)
Mm-hmm.

Becky (34:49.588)
And it's both of our passion. so that's, that's in a nutshell, what a retreat, every retreat's different. Every, every season is a different focus, but that's essentially, they're going to unwind and sort of nourish, rewire and rise. Yeah.

Miriam Bulcher (35:11.246)
That is so beautiful. I, know, when you were just like mentioning all those different aspects, I'm like, so it's like Sandara Spa, but like more directional kind of, know what I mean? Like instead of kind of being like, okay, I can choose from all these services. It's like you're given a, you're given like a, okay, we're going to start with like A through E and then I'm going to lead you down A through E, especially if you are wanting to like not just

just get the weekend, like more than the weekend. Like you're given like almost like a little instructional booklet in terms of like, okay, well, you know, like you were mentioning some of the exercises that you do, it's like, you're getting more is what it sounds like to me, which is so powerful.

Krista Wegner (35:54.885)
Yeah, we try to be very intentional about it. We have journal prompts, we do some time in journaling. We're doing an activity, this coming retreat that involves letting go of things that don't serve us. And then also we're gonna be doing some other things that involve getting our hands dirty. And then getting out in nature because that is really spring. So we do, like Becky said, we do everything intentional with our seasons.

So in the winter we kind of go into that high-key mode where you're in comfort, know, you're in, you're kind of just candles lit, those kind of things, warm, comfy foods, where spring is a little bit more about rising up, you know, the blooming, and then summer is more playful.

So all of the programming that we do is also intentional so that we are addressing these different seasons that are outside of us and also inside of us. And so that's been part of it.

Miriam Bulcher (36:57.134)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam Bulcher (37:01.41)
Well, and I love that you explain that Krista, because I think, you know, at least for somebody like me, I like to know all the details before I go to something and I'm like, okay, well, tell me, you know, what, what I can expect, like that sort of thing. And so knowing, I think the different seasons, you know, I think some women might, you know, relate to one more than the other. And maybe you have that experience with clients as well.

Krista Wegner (37:19.161)
Yes.

Miriam Bulcher (37:22.484)
Explain a little bit about what it might look like. Say a woman is like, my gosh, I've assessed with this idea of going on this retreat and taking some time for myself. But what might it look like for them if they want support after and they're really committed and they've gained this conviction about, you know, really getting the ball rolling at a higher speed for their health and their functionality. So what might they, you know, kind of be aware of options in terms of what might exist for them outside of the retreats?

Krista Wegner (37:49.679)
We do, you we have the retreats that have come, like you said, but outside of that, I also do health coaching. So they can continue on with me if they decide that that's something they want to do or with Becky. If they're close to her, I can do it through Zoom or, whatever works. But, but definitely continuing on that with accountability, because I think that is half the battle of if someone's not holding us accountable, it's so easy to just like, it's a slippery slope, we all know, of course. And so if

not talking to someone weekly or bi-weekly or monthly even and that can be whatever fits that client. If someone knows I just want to talk once a month that's fine if that works for you but other than that then you know just being able to be held accountable.

Miriam Bulcher (38:39.212)
Yeah, that's so, so powerful. And I love that those are options and that you did mention it. Talk a little bit about how a woman is going to find out whether, you know, more information on their retreats, how she can sign up, because I feel like, you know, that might be the next question. They're probably just waiting and being like, can I skip ahead? I want to just sign up for these.

Krista Wegner (38:56.19)
Hahaha

Becky (38:59.626)
is tandemwellnessretreats.com and we also have social media handles that they can jump on and follow us. We are learning how to work with social media. Did you like how he said that?

Krista Wegner (39:14.468)
I like that. We're actively learning.

Becky (39:20.598)
I'm learning more through my 18 year old daughter and this has been great creating all sorts of great inspirational messages and also educational information. But we have an ongoing retreat option. So right now we are registering for our summer retreat. That is an active registration that's open on our website.

Krista Wegner (39:24.484)
you

Miriam Bulcher (39:41.24)
Perfect. my gosh, I love that so much. you?

Krista Wegner (39:43.074)
And that's August through 10th. So it's in August, eight through the 10th and it's in like the Desida area.

Miriam Bulcher (39:47.128)
Perfect.

Okay, great, amazing. Is there anything that you feel like that a woman should be aware of? Say she's kind of either entering this age demographic or she's already in the trenches. Is there anything that you feel like we haven't talked about that you are strongly, okay, we women should be aware of this? Totally okay if not, but I wanted to ask.

Becky (40:12.608)
you hit on something earlier that a woman may try something and then feels like it's too tough and they quit. So one of the things that we really tell is please be perfectly imperfect.

being all or nothing and that does not serve us. Realizing that for most folks, it takes a year to align with new values and to implement even the smallest of changes. So to not feel like you're looking up Mount Impossible.

realizing that it is, we can tear that hill down. can, we can stretch that baby out. So it is not this kind of climb. It's, it's that. And that, that probably is one thing that we just don't talk about enough and, and support ourselves in that journey. so Krista's Turn North coaching business was really created to help bridge the gap between retreat

and then the next day. Because when they're on Sunday on the way home, Monday happens. So the real practical magic of that is that people are held with our program, we will hold you and hold and meaning accountability and aligning for as long as needed because everybody's on a different path, a different speed, a different connection to their why. And so it takes time.

Krista Wegner (41:59.061)
And I would add to that also, just again, being kind to ourselves. We offer so much kindness and grace to our friends, to our children, to our spouses. And sometimes we just, our self-talk to ourself is not that way. sometimes, and it's easy to get for that to happen, right? Because we do expect things of ourselves. And sometimes I'll find myself saying something and Becky will say,

don't talk to my friend like that, you know, and it's true. Don't talk, we should not be, we should be lifting each other. There's enough room for all of us at the top, right? And there's enough room for us to be perfectly imperfect. And just finding the joy, you know, back, I don't know, it so many years ago, but you know, Oprah used to talk about the gratitude journal.

And I think that those are the important things in life. What are we grateful for today in this day? Because none of us are promised tomorrow. And what today can I say for these three things I am so grateful for? And some days it might just be my breath and that I have a warm home and the sun was up today. But other days it might be so much bigger than that. And those are big things too.

awareness, joy, and just finding peace as we go into this part of our lives. Because truthfully, there is so much uncertainty in so many areas of our life. And there is so much, there could be so much angst, but really to look at it through the scope of, again, privilege and just kindness to ourselves, our friends and

offering the same grace that we would to our children and our friends.

Miriam Bulcher (43:56.46)
Yep. that is, mean, I think everything that you mentioned in just the last little bit, both of you, Becky and Krista is like, you have the opportunity to take control. And we're just here to like, make it easier for you to take control. And that's something that I feel like is applicable, you know, it's not just applicable to, you know, this age demographic, but like to every single woman, you know what I mean? Like, it's like,

This is an important aspect of our life. Let's not ignore our bodies and the amazing vessel that has carried us through to this stage, but like, let's lean into that power even more. And again, like have this clear path, have this, you know, ability to the flexibility and the support to be able to take more control and really get a sense of gratification in that, because there is just so much peace, joy, contentment that comes with doing all this work that is just so incredible. And that's

why I wanted to have you on this podcast because I was like, oh my gosh, they're just, you know, focusing on such an important area that I, you know, I know a lot of women who, you know, it's like, oh, I had to initiate this on my own. I had to kind of like really do a lot of the self and mental work and like figure out my, my schedule and things on their own. And, you know, a few of them have been able to make really impressive changes, but there are a large amount of women who are like, you know, I would like that, but also no clue.

Krista Wegner (45:15.492)
Thank

Miriam Bulcher (45:18.06)
I have no clue and it seems daunting and all these things. I'm just, yeah, I really feel like this is such a powerful episode and is gonna be really helpful to all women. So I'm so grateful for you for sharing this information. And again, Krista, if there was anything that Becky hadn't mentioned in terms of like things that you think that a woman who's in this stage should be aware about, feel free to share, but otherwise I'm, yeah, I'm obsessed.

Krista Wegner (45:18.978)
Bye.

Krista Wegner (45:44.317)
I I think Becky nailed it on the head, honestly. But I just think, just again, being able to retreat is so special, we think, just because of the, if you don't reach out, it's an investment in yourself. We understand that not everybody can do it as well. We understand there's different thresholds that, but.

We've talked about doing day one so that it is more accessible to all versus just some.

And we would love to exercise that option as well. But I think when we don't invest in ourselves, again, no one is going to do it for us. I mean, that is the truth. Everybody is busy. And we also hold ourselves to a standard that when we look online, as we do scroll, we see the perfect woman. We see the perfect person. We see the perfect life.

That is what I love about retreat is we get down, know, we get into if you want to, you don't have to, nobody has to, but it's been our, I guess, experience that we've seen that people are not, they wanna talk about how it's not perfect.

And how do we get it to be more manageable? And that's the idea is because we do have so much wisdom in our bodies as women. And the things that we can do as women, it's amazing. We are so powerful in our own, just in our own being. And so to be able to share that with...

Krista Wegner (47:33.217)
with each other because we all bring different experiences, we bring different backgrounds, we bring different traumas, we bring different joys. And so to be able to have all of that there and to be able to share that. And it's so lovely how people just, it's like pieces of a puzzle. find each other.

And it's like relationships that are built and whether they choose to extend those past retreats is obviously up to them. But just that you have that moment of you see me, you understand me.

I'm tired or I'm hungry or whatever it is or I'm, I want, I have all this joy, want to spread it too. doesn't, it can be so many different things. So that's what we're so grateful of and we're excited about that piece.

Miriam Bulcher (48:27.948)
Yeah, really giving women a safe place. You know, and that's another reason why I started this podcast, because I'm like, okay, well, there's more to it, right than the visual aspect. There is a whole aspect that I've heard from so many clients of like, well, I didn't have anyone to talk to. So I navigated menopause on my own and that was rough, right? Like it was so rough. And so to be able to, you know, offer women that truly, truly transparency and that safe

Becky (48:48.438)
you

Miriam Bulcher (48:55.63)
place, whether they realize they need it or not, is again, like I probably overuse this word, but it's so powerful. And I think that as women exactly like what you said, Krista, like we can't do enough of leaning into our own power and being able to see that power and have it just shown to you and presented to you. Because I truly believe that if women recognize their own power and leaned into it, the world would be a drastically different place. And it absolutely has an impact on those around us. And that's also why, again, this conversation.

Krista Wegner (49:19.524)
Thanks.

Miriam Bulcher (49:25.59)
This whole conversation and everything we talked about is so, so important because it really, the impact and the domino effect that it has is insane. So yes, I am so grateful for you both for sharing this incredible wealth of information because I feel like it's a gold mine and it's just been so impactful for me to hear and hopefully to the woman listening as well.

Krista Wegner (49:46.532)
Thank you for having us. We so appreciate it. Yeah.

Becky (49:46.55)
Thank you for having us Miriam.

Miriam Bulcher (49:49.6)
Amazing. We can still chat. I'm just going to stop the recording.