The JOY of Marriage: Celebrating 10 Years Together!

In this episode of The Fresh Thing Podcast, Fedrick and Jaclyn celebrate & talk about their last 10 years of marriage. Choosing the right one truly matters & finding joy in the everyday will keep you in the long game. 

*apologies for the mic sounds* ;) 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:14

What's up, guys?

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome back to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

That was not practice.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

But guys, you're in sync.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

I am so glad we can be back together with you guys after a couple of months. But who's counting?

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Nobody's counting.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Maybe you were counting, and maybe you have been anticipating this day of this return for a very long time.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Hey, we just glad we're here.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

We are glad. I've got my coffee this morning. We're actually doing a morning podcast, which we usually do in afternoon ones, so we are hyped.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Hyped.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Are you hyped though?

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Hyped. I'm ready to go.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Yeah. Weather's good. We feel good.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Hey, can't beat that with a stick.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

I hope you guys have just been having an incredible month. It is May.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

Which, as the moms refer to May.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

There we go. I digress you.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

I digest your mic posture. Uh May Ember?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Well, it basically is okay. If you have kids out there, May is stuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

I mean you got you got Mother's Day. Oh, well, I'm glad you remembered. That's next week. You know, we can never forget that in this house. You know, we can never forget it. You know. We got constant reminders walking around.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Oh my gosh. Are you disturbed by that?

SPEAKER_00 1:46

No, I'm not disturbed. I'm just saying we got constant reminders. How many times have you reminded me? Don't forget about Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Well, I mean, we do have to remind you.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Have I forgotten before? Uh I think at one year I did. I think one year I never remember. I think one year is like close.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

No, you haven't. No, I don't think you have.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Nah.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

I let W husband. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

W husband.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

I definitely let you know, though, my intentions for the day. I think as moms, we need to be very clear if you want to spend that day. That's what I'm saying. Don't beat around the books. Here's the deal.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Let it be known.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

I have left like up for assumption in our marriage, like out the door a long time ago. Don't do it. Like, you know, sometimes, like, as women, we're like, oh my gosh, like, oh, yeah, y'all want to be too like. Oh my goodness, if he wanted to, he would. Sometimes you gotta be aggressive with it. Don't even like be aggressive with it. That's what I'm saying. You actually give a little target.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Because guys don't know what's going on in your head, and y'all assume we know, and we know nothing. We don't know. We can't read no clue. Don't give no. Don't leave no breadcrumbs. We know nothing. So state it. But everybody be clear and just put it down.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

It's like the TikTok videos where the girl starts and she's like, I'm just telling you, we want no flowers on and all that stuff is confusing. And it's like, I actually really like flowers.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

That's all I'm saying. It's confusing. You want flowers, you want chocolate, you don't want chocolate. You want stuffies, you don't want stuffed animals. What do you want? You want to go on the beach, you want to walk on the beach, you want to go to the restaurant, what you want to do? Let us know.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Oh, I let you know, I let you know. And you know what that does.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Sometimes you gotta let it be known. So there's no confusion, there's no letdown, there's no, there's no like, you know, feeling disappointment. Once you let it be known as you.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

I think when you've been disappointed a few times in your life, you say Let it be known. I think that's just like also that's being married. Like if you can't say, hey, I actually like this or I don't like this, or like this is how I would like to spend this day. Like for me on Mother's Day, I and we actually both do this. You just for Father's Day for Mother's Day is a day of not mothering and not doing household things.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Drop the responsibilities, drop the responsibilities.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

So after church, I literally come home.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

We lock you in a room. I lock in the sounds so like this horrific. But we lock you in a room, you throw away the key.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

All afternoon.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Nobody checks on you, nobody like I'm guarding that door like uh like a bodyguard at the club. I'm like, you don't have no idea. You don't get in.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Still hear the chaos of down there? Absolutely. No, but I don't care because I'm not moving.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

We give you noise cancellation headphones. Oh, yeah. You're supposed to have your headphones on. You're not supposed to hear nothing. Just watch your movies, do whatever you want to do, take a long shower, whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Considering this year, though, going to the movies, because I want to watch Devil Wears Prada too. Okay. So I don't know. I don't, I don't know, I don't know. But the point is gonna watch the devil.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Oh my god wearing Prada. Okay could you un such a holy girl like me? Here's the deal though. I did see the first one. Uh and uh I do like that. I did like that movie. Yeah. It was fun. It was fun. I think this one would be good. I hope it's not overhyped for you. That's true. I won't watch it until it hits the hits the cinematic apps.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

And then you probably still won't.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

I probably still won't.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Watch it, but I've heard mixed reviews, but then again, it's a nostalgia.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Federic has been out in this uh main streets traveling. So if you're wondering why in the world, where have they been? And a lot of places. A lot of places. We have both been traveling, actually. Yeah, yeah. And it's just like trying to get our schedules lined up. And there's no excuses because when the Lord has called you to do something, there are no excuses. You just gotta. And here we are on the floor.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

But we're back. We're here. We're here now.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

We are here. So you went to Scottsdale, Phoenix.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Uh I can't even remember. Memphis. I was in Memphis a little bit. Um where did you go?

SPEAKER_02 6:02

You went somewhere else.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

I did. I went to um Charlotte.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Charlotte, North Carolina. So if you're in any of those places, you were so close.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Big ups to all those places.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Yeah, but you probably liked Scottsdale the best.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

I didn't like Scotts. Scottsdale was nice. It's a different vibe.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

I mean, I I've never been there, so it was very cheeky.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

I like it. Cheeky. Cheeky bougie. Cheeky. Cheeky with it. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Getting cheeky with it.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

That's how you do it, Scottsy. Get cheeky with it.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Nah, Scottsdale.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

That's a Scottsdale place where you could pop out a little bit. Pop out. Pop out. Show out. Absolutely. Good weather.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Did you do anything good there?

SPEAKER_00 6:43

No. Actually, yes, I did. I did add a great brunt spot. There was a good hey Scottsdale got a really good brunt spot. I don't know the name of it. I'm gonna put it in the disclaimer. I'm gonna put it in the little caption later.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

You're putting that nowhere. It was a good brunch spot, and he ain't great, guys. So next time we're in Scottsdale, we'll hit up the people's team.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Smoothies, pancakes, French tubs. Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Anyways, guys, so May is popping. We're here. We're back. The kids are about to be in school in two weeks, so we may disappear, guys.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

The kids about to be out of school. Out of school. School's about to live out. It's the last, it's the last little couple weeks at school, and they try to they cram every event that they can possibly do. Field trips, all that stuff in these last two to three weeks. So it's like non-stop for these people. Field trips. It's like y'all can spread it. I'm like, they could spread that out a little a little bit better than that. Don't wait till the last minute to do it all. They're just like, like they like they get there's like a lull from mid-school years going on, then at the end they get this like, oh my gosh, it's about to end. Let's just do everything. I'm gonna miss you kids, I'm gonna miss everybody. They start getting in their feelings and doing all this stuff.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

We're all in our feelings.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Nah, I ain't no feelings.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

I'm in my feelings. Frederick's never in his feelings if you're born with that.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Nah.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

But speaking of feelings, guys, the big news is we have celebrated 10 years of marriage.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

That was another reason. We're in our anniversary. We're in our anniversary era. 10 years. But there's a deal though. 10 years, I think 10 years is worthy of a celebration. Because nowadays, I mean, it's hard to get past one for people. I see people don't make past one or two. I mean, to make it 10, that's like almost almost halfway to the silver. Plus silver is 15, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:30

I mean, so much we have no business talking about marriage after 10 years.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

I mean, I say if you made it one year in marriage, you can talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

We can talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

You learn, you learn, you got something to say, and people could always learn.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

I'm not writing a book on marriage.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

But I mean, if you if you're not willing to always learn about something, that means you're gonna stay stagnant. You're not gonna grow.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

100%.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

And marriage, you have to continue growing to keep your marriage going. Ooh, that but you gotta keep growing to keep your marriage going. Let's go. But that's what it is. I mean, like, the reasons I feel like a lot of times marriages fail because one person or one side or either both sides decide they don't want to learn about each other anymore. They don't want to keep growing together. They don't want to take on the challenge of learning each other, or when life hits them with something, they don't lock arms and say, Let's get through this together.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

It's like I'm gonna do this on my own, I'm out.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Well, it's a commitment from two people like to be in it. Every day every season. Every day. Every season.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

You have to do that commitment every day because there's days some days are better, some days are not better. You know, some days are great, some days are not so great. And you have to just know that you're staying committed to the end goal. The end goal is to just stay together, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Well, you're two people on a journey together and individually. So it's actually like a miracle. When you have God as your foundation, it really is such a beautiful thing. I mean, marriages being married is such a representation, excuse me. Of the kingdom. And um it's commitment, it's beauty. It's like commitment is beauty. People don't understand, they just want like, oh, this isn't making me happy, so I gotta move on. Like when we're called to serve each other. And I mean, we can say after 10 years of marriage, it has been enjoyment. Yeah, absolutely. And I think enjoyment also comes with like you're growing up, exactly. Like growth.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

And we're not and we're not saying that, you know, there's obviously there's other circumstances that you don't need to be staying in if you know that type of relationship. Like, obviously, we're not saying stay in toxic relationships and abusive and all that stuff. Don't stay in that. I we get that. But I'm saying if if none of that's happening and you guys committed to each other, it's like it's so much beauty in just growing together. Why not? And like it's like you're choosing to be with someone for the rest of your life and grow along with them, alongside them, and and walk with them through the hard times and walk with them through the good times and the bad times and the ugly times, and just stay there. Guess what? And the thing is, you walk in with them to the end of the row. I'm excited to do. You gotta walk them to the end of the room. Girl. Jacqueline ain't gonna pass down an opportunity to sing, y'all. She ain't gonna pass down an opportunity for a sing song.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

What's that my real voice? No.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

But still, though, you can you can do a sing song.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

But Frederick, what have you enjoyed? Like, what have you enjoyed about these 10 years?

SPEAKER_00 11:28

I mean, I enjoyed the journey because no day is the same. There's no two days the same. I like variety, I like spice, I like just unpredictable. That's that's I feel like that's what our day is.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

So you're calling me unpredictable.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

You're unpredictable. Because it's not boring. It's not boring. It's like, yes, we have our hard days and moments. Yes, we've gone through stuff. Yes, we have to work through things. Yes, we're still working through things. But the beauty of it is that with our relationship, I've always enjoyed that we've had each other's backs. Like, we're gonna, you know, ain't nothing getting between this. Ain't nobody gonna get trying to put a wedge in between us. Like, you see how close we're sitting right now? Like, ain't nobody gonna slide through there and try to get, you know, try to push us apart. We're not letting that happen. Nothing's gonna come in and wedge to try to wedge us away from each other. And that's that's what I like. And you know, if you have that and you and you have that confidence to know that your person got your back, regardless of whatever it is, they're gonna ride or die with you. Ride or die, chick. You know? That that means the world.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

It actually reminds me. I literally saw an image of me riding a motorcycle. Not that, but uh the move, like those movies, kind of like the Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Yes. When they're like back to back. Yeah, they're like firing.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

And they're firing off the guns there, but that's I'm talking to shoot 'em up.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Like you've got each other back. You may be even in like different seasons on different like doing different things, and even 10 years. I mean, we've had the season where we're just married and like you're getting to know each other and the newlywed and all that. You're buying your first house, you're and then you're having kids, and then with every kid, you're you know, one maybe over here, and you're over here, and it's just navigating, I think, changes. Like, I think if you can navigate change and navigate moving forward together um with Jesus, like you you're on the long road. 100%. And that's how I feel.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

No, I see that's how you feel. No, what I what I was gonna say, I was gonna add to that. I was gonna say, you know, life is just a bunch of battles. Life is how you life is just a measurement of how you uh endure your battles. So coming together in marriage, you know, you're gonna have battles. You're gonna have to face things. But regardless, for us, like, we're gonna get out of that battle together. We might get wounded, we might get hurt, we're not gonna get destroyed. You know, we might get, you know, but we're gonna come out of there firing, like you say. We're gonna come out there firing together, we ain't gonna leave no, I'm not gonna leave you behind, you're not gonna leave me behind. We're gonna walk out together and be ready to face the next one.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Back to back, we weren't shooting at each other.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Exactly, we weren't. And that that's that's something that happens in relationships too.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

And if you are in that situation, pointing them fingers.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

There them little them little shoot-em up fingers.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yeah, I have it.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

He doing this, there is she ain't doing that.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Yeah, and that's the beauty of like being commitment. If it is just those little hurdles that you can get over where it's therapy or you know, anyways, the point is not not about y'all and your therapy, it's about me and my ten years.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Ten years. I mean, that's how you get through it though.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Like the Lord has been so good to us because I just have been in reflection mode and just thinking.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

What are you reflecting on?

SPEAKER_02 14:54

I'm reflecting on it all, Frederick. I reflect how getting married to a person is the most important decision you will ever make. It actually, I heard someone say you're choosing a lifestyle by the person you so it's like the weight. I think when you're young, you're just like, yeah, I'm gonna get married, or like, oh yeah, this guy looks great. But like taking into account this is the lifestyle I am choosing. Meaning, this is the direction, this is the way we'll live. What I what I love about Fedrick is he is I'm positive, but he is way more positive than me. When I met him, he was so filled with joy and positivity and just saw like those joy and positivity. Sometimes since you met him, but it keeps the like you know, the joy of the Lord is our strength, and I honestly believe the strength of our marriage comes a lot in finding joy in every day and joy in our own relationships with the Lord because He cannot be everything for me. No, and um when you first get married, it's like maybe you do think that maybe you're like he's gonna fill me with every situation, but you're still on your path with the Lord, and you still have to pursue your calling and your gifts and your talents. So you gotta make sure like that alignment is there, and that he is someone that sees that and treasures that and supports that. And I just think we wanted the same things, and where commitment level was on the same page, and that is like a winning recipe. But all in all, it is by God's grace and mercy that we are here for 10 years because um there's so much different factors, like you know, we're two different people from two different born in two different countries.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

Two different people born in two different countries, raised by you know, two different cultures, you know, and you know, so it's like so much factors that would make you anti or different or you know, different from each other.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

You know, that I mean it is the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Yep. That is the glue of a relationship when people can be like, oh, that's not gonna work, or that's not because people try to tell you people always wanna people always want to match make and match break. People don't, you know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying. It's just coming out. They want to match make and match break. They want to look at you and like, nah, y'all ain't gonna make it. And then spew all their because XYZ and spew all their like lack of knowledge or lack of insight to tell you why this relationship is not gonna work. Because y'all don't look the same, y'all don't act the same, y'all aren't y'all aren't from the same place. Like, you don't know my you don't know my story. I don't know your story, but who's to say it can't work if if you're in it together and God's in it? I mean, if God be for them, who could be against them? I'm like, what we what we doing?

SPEAKER_02 17:46

My goodness, that right there is well that'll hit you.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

That'll hit your soul.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

It did hit my soul. But imagine, ladies, like getting a man who thinks this way, like he's in it in every season because the Lord is leading him, and I just think that's what I cherish. Like I just cherish it, I just cherish you, and I'm so excited for the next 10 years. Like, I'm so grateful for our life together. And I just marriage, I'm such an advocate for marrying the right person.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Yeah, however long it takes.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

And I like I said, I would have waited a hundred years. Like, I was content in my singleness, and but I also in a purpose partner, and you know, like you want your rom-com moment too.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

That's what I'm saying. You want you want, I mean, that's what I'm saying. You want to be attracted to a person, you want that person to have like-mindedness, you want to be able to move forward with that person. You all want to have like shared goals, exactly, you know, or someone that supports you and your goals if it's not a shared goal, someone that still supports you like it's their goal, even though it's maybe not something they can do or they have the talent for, but someone that's gonna lift you up. That's that's really what your your uh spouse should be. Someone that's gonna lift you up like Aaron lifted up Moses' arm when they're fighting that battle. See, another battle. Gosh. That's what I'm saying. Like you someone that's gonna support you. Life is battles. Battles. Battles, a compilation of battles.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

There's fun in there as well.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Yes, there's fun. There's lots of fun. But you know, we like to, we I think that's part of it too. I think people like to we like to focus on just the fun. If we're not having fun all the time, then it's like something's wrong. You know, sometimes you don't necessarily have fun, but you it's a it's a hard time and you don't have the fun, but but at the same time, you still could have fun in the hard times, too. And we do that. A lot of non-fun things.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Not a non-fun that wasn't each other. No, yeah. It was external um situations.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

We call those storms of life.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

Job loss. Storms. Um, the storms of life. Storms. But man, when you're in it with the right person who sees what the Lord's doing in a situation, ride that storm out getting ride out the storm. Somebody out there who is unsure and they're in a relationship and you're just not sure. Like, don't marry potential. Do not marry potential. Don't marry someone you're already seeing their character. There may not be, there may be some things you're like, I don't know. Like I I finances are not character, but yes, you want to be someone who is a hard worker and motivated and moving forward and things.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

That's true. I like that. Don't marry potential. You know, I'm gonna go science-y on this one. You know, potential energy is the point at which you've reached the pinnacle of all the energy you have, but you're not moving. The second you move, that potential energy turns to kinetic energy. So potential can only go so far. There's a limit to potential.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

That was beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Without the kinetic energy and moving forward, moving in the direction where you need to go, that's where the real energy happens after that point. So there's your science. Science with Fed.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Marry smart men. Wow, I've really been hyping you up. I'm trying to see if what has been said.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Hyping you up? Well, I mean, you you the glue that holds us together. I mean, seriously, Jaclyn, Jacqueline literally makes Jaclyn would be the steering wheel, the rudder, the caboose, the whole ship, the whole boat. She's the whole boat. We're just riding on the boat.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

It's too far too far, too.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

She's literally holding us together. Right. She holds it all together, she plans all our stuff. She she her attention to detail, next level. I'm telling you, we would miss so much details if it was up to me.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

That is true.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

I'll probably be like the typical guy there. We're gonna miss all the details.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

My point for the ladies, like with the intentionality, if you're a planner, yeah, be it, be the planner. I'm not gonna try to plan the things, just don't even like stay in your lady sit there and cry about it. Just go plan it, and then everybody will show up, and you are still situation and have a time, have a time, and have a time have a time that you plan. And that's the thing about Patrick, he'll show up anywhere. Like, this is the plan, this is what we're doing. We're doing it, let's do it. But Patrick's also logistical about other things, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

We we so that's the beauty, is like over these 10 years, we've got to learn each other's t giftings and talents and skill set. And I don't try to do something that I know Jacqueline's way better at me at, and I'm not gonna try to do she's not gonna try to do something that I may excel better at because it's like in the end, we're on the same team, we have the same goal, we're just trying to get to the touchdown, whatever that thing is. We're trying to get to the touchdown together, and she can get us there better. Go ahead. You you run with it. I can get us better, then I'll run with it.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

So a great leader. When a leader can still delegate, uh we don't micromanage you. You just don't really know, and you're like trying to kind of still prove yourself, and everybody's trying to do everything.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Everybody wanted to be a W husband and W wife, you know, live that W life.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

Yeah, you're still on kind of a little performance. And now after 10 years, it's like I'm not gonna it is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Hard to build me.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

And I I'm out here in uh North Texas.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

This is us. There's no at 10 years. I mean, you ain't hiding nothing. There's nothing to hide. There's no there's not like you're trying to like, oh, I don't want you to see me cry. Oh, I don't want to see me mad, or I don't want to see you to see me disappointed and feel less.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

10 years is freedom.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Free. You're just free to be. I used to be that way at the year one, but over time, you know, that comes more. You're not as well you're not gonna be able to do that. That's right. There's still some you're still trying to adjust to each other tendencies and to see going off of your vision board.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Yes, and infatuation.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

It's all infatuation.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Your prayers and hope. Like, God, I'm praying this is the right guy. And the thing is sometimes he doesn't end up the right guy, and you you really trusted the Lord, and there is no shame in that if you are in that time now and you are starting over and you're starting afresh, now you're a whole different person. And you've grown up and you've learned from a certain relationship. Um like I never got to that point, but I just think of past relationships after dating and stuff and being in unhealthy relationships, I was like, ah, right. I'll be single for the rest of the time. Because I was loving myself. And I think that's the beauty of going through hardships with people. You learn to love yourself better. Got to. And that's um all it is in a lasting marriage is loving each other, committing to each other, loving yourself in it, loving God, and staying committed to each other.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

And we are excited to see the next 45 years or well, 45, probably by another another 65 years. 65 is probably all I got.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

65 makes you also wait. So you're now back in your 90s because you told me the early day you're only gonna live in 1990.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Oh no, I did bad math, bad math.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

But you need to stop saying that because you need to live as long as the Lord tells me.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

As long as the Lord tells me, but you gotta give me that strength. I still gotta be able to dunk. But I would be able before you I still need to be able to uh run faster than my kids at 95. You know, I've been watching this thing online last time where these 90-year-old men are doing like 100 mile an hour, like not 100 mile an hour. They're doing the 100-meter dash.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

$100, that's AI.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

No, those are real people. Those are real people. It's real competition. No, I'm talking about it's an actual track and field leagues for older people that are sprinting, and they're running like 12 second 100-meter dash. That's impressive. I'm like, I want to be that guy when I grow up.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

You could be that guy.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

I'm gonna be that guy. I have to live that long. I'm gonna be that guy.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Well, you didn't want to live that long, and that's what I'm saying. But now I have now I have reason. He has hope.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Just to run the hundred-meter dash in marriage, just to run 100-meter dash against other old men so I could be. Also, we didn't even talk about our kids. I know. They're a blessing too. Three of them. They're a blessing. This was marriage. This ain't kids, this is marriage, this ain't parenting.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

This is our life.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

It is like this is still get the next talk.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

No, we're not doing any more talks like this.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

No.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

The point is that it like the fullness of our lives after 10 years is just like so beautiful. And we're so grateful to God. We are and that was really why we wanted to get on share a little bit about 10 years together and uh encourage y'all a little bit that marriage is fun and enjoyable, and every day we look forward to continuing and like seeing what's next. Like I like Frederick said, I never grow tired of this marriage.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

Absolutely. And with marriage, last thing I'm gonna say, don't dip your toes in, just jump all in, just cannonball. Cannonball in. Some people like to dip their toes into marriage. If you're gonna do marriage, you gotta cannonball in.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Are you dipping and slipping?

SPEAKER_00 27:13

That's it. Full, full, full blown jump in there, jump in the water. So if you're gonna jump in. The reward is great. Not toes in, all in. The reward is great. But yeah, but this has been The Fresh Thing. The Fresh Thing Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

We are so glad to be back. So glad to be able to subscribe and hope you have a beautiful and blessed.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Share it with your friends. We love you guys.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Leave us a little comment below. Tell us what you're thinking, okay?

SPEAKER_00 27:43

All right. Fresh Thing Podcast. We up.