The Higher Paradigm with Laura Potozniak

Is Social Media Serving You? Boundaries, Energetics, and Stepping Back as a Heart-Led Entrepreneur

Laura Potozniak Season 3 Episode 2

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Laura discusses social media’s positive and negative influence and invites listeners to reflect on whether it truly serves them, how it feels energetically in the body, and whether it fuels addiction, comparison, and inauthenticity. She shares her journey from fearing social media pre-2020 to using it through an MLM and entrepreneurship, then noticing anxiety, anger, and “energetic funk” within minutes of logging on, especially as a highly sensitive person. She explains how social media can cloud intention for heart-led entrepreneurs, amplify pressure from influencers and business coaches, and encourage oversharing—particularly involving children—leading her to delete past posts and step back since last August. Since reducing use, she reports improved clarity and substantial business growth via word-of-mouth and email, and encourages boundaries, energy hygiene, and exploring alternative platforms.

 

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00:00 Welcome and Intentions

02:16 Her Social Media Origin Story

04:17 Energetics and Boundaries

07:08 Entrepreneur Comparison Trap

11:41 Motherhood Versus Influencers

17:16 Oversharing and Kids Privacy

19:31 Alternatives to Social Growth

24:07 Highlight Reels and Distraction

29:59 Deleting Old Posts

32:56 Quitting Social and Business Growth

39:35 Grassroots Marketing That Works

41:08 Boundaries Hygiene and Wrap Up

 

Much Love and Many Blessings to you. 

Welcome back to the Higher Paradigm YouTube channel and podcast. I am your host, Laura, and in today's episode I wanna talk about social media and it's influence on us individually, on the collective, how there's both positives and negatives to it, but. It's really this episode, just like every other episode is an invitation for you to ask yourself particular questions, get curious about whether something is working for you or not. Whether something you know that I share resonates with you and why. If it doesn't, why, you know, things like that. So in this particular episode, this is an invitation to ask yourself whether or not. You're utilizing social media for the good, if it's actually serving you, if it's good for you, are you addicted to it? Are you doing it because that's what you think you should do? Does it feel like an authentic space for you? What's the energy like? And are you paying attention to how you feel energetically when you go into, when you click on that icon and you enter into Instagram or Facebook or wherever you are on social media, how does it feel in your body when you enter into that space? Within, I would say. I don't know, the first 15 minutes. So I wanna share my experience and I wanna share why. I think we need to really reflect on whether or not it's time to take a step back from social media and what my experience has been like after taking a significant step back since last August so quickly I'll share a little bit of my background with it. Um, back in 2020, I really started to jump in just like most of us, right? But from my experience before 2020, I was kind of afraid of social media. I didn't want. Certain aspects of my life to be exposed. I didn't, I I, I was living in fear at that time, uh, prior to 2020 and, you know, getting sober and having my spiritual awakening and starting to do my own healing work and everything. So there was a different reality I was living in, of course, but you know. I definitely was afraid of the wrong people finding me or stalkers or whatever. And obviously when you're afraid of that kind of thing, it's because of your own trauma. But anyway, I digress. After I quit my nursing career and entered into 2020, right before the pandemic started, I actually joined an MLM. And of course now that makes me cringe a little bit, but. At the same time, It also was a blessing because it wasn't just about the MLM, it wasn't at all very much about the MLM, actually, it was more about the doors that opened up to welcome people that I needed in my life, different spiritual teachers, different healers, friends that I might not have discovered otherwise, of course. So there was that aspect of social media that was a benefit and that really helped to guide my journey forward. But at the same time, I also experienced inauthenticity, and getting caught in the comparison trap and. Not only those two things, but as I started to learn more about energetics and having discernment for what's mine and what is not, and just really being attuned and aware of shifts within me. I started to notice that it's social media that's giving me this feeling of anxiety and anger and hostility and just not pleasant emotions. And yeah, every single time I go on there, within, not even a minute or two. I feel an energetic shift within me and. I recognize that it is because there is a lot of energy in these spaces. If there's millions, billions of people on social media all at once, doesn't it make sense that we would be feeling the energetics of the E of those in that space? And we don't know who's in there. We don't know who's watching, and we don't know who's in control and we don't know. Anything like actually we, we just know what we feel. So for me, I had to start to put parameters or put boundaries up with social media once I really started to recognize, which didn't. I would say it didn't really start happening for me until probably three years in to being on social media, and for those of us who are highly sensitive I feel like it's even more crucial for those of us to really have strong boundaries and be aware of what is coming up for you when you're in that space. Because, yeah, as I was, trying to build my own business and also doing my own healing work, there was a lot of. Things initiated within my own healing work because of social media and the impact that it made on the way I thought and felt about myself. And so in one hand, again, it's a blessing because it offered me an opportunity to go deeper and to see within myself what needed to be worked through. But at the same time, once you do that work you and you go back into these spaces and you feel just as energetically funked as I like to call it. You realize it's not me, it's this place. And so maybe this is not the place for me. And there were other ways that I was beginning to recognize that this isn't the place for me as a spiritual entrepreneur or you know, a heart led entrepreneur as we call it. Also. We are easily persuaded to work with business coaches who also call themselves niched in the arts of spiritual healing or spiritual work or spiritual coaching, however you wanna say that. And we're easily persuaded because we wanna make a difference in the world. Yes. And most of us are driven by being of service, but when we get on social media as spiritual or heart led entrepreneurs, we also then are influenced by money. And of course we all wanna make money. Of course. We wanna make money doing what we love and what we know God put us on this planet to do. But when we go on social media, it has this influence and it creates this confusion, at least for me and for many of my friends that I talk to about this. It, it creates a confusion around what. Our intention is, and when you see business coaches who also say that they need, they're niched in working with lightworkers healers, heart led entrepreneurs, you begin to think, oh, well maybe this is what I'm doing wrong. So alongside also feeling as though you're in an echo chamber because it does take significant time to grow on social media. Right. But does it. At the same time, then you see all these other influencers, or you see other heart led entrepreneurs that you know personally, and it seems as though they're growing and their following is growing, and things are shifting and changing for them, but maybe not for you. And you start to wonder what's wrong with me? And then you find this business coach who's on social media, who lives in your area or maybe doesn't, and is niched in the work that you do and can help you, quote, unquote, make more money in your business or, attract that ideal client. I've been through this so many times, and. I, have worked with three different business coaches over the course of six years. Each for an extended period of time, and each one of them say, you're not speaking clearly enough. Your ideal client isn't gonna find you because you're confusing them and, and yada, yada yada. And in one hand, in some phases of my journey, yes, that's absolutely true. I was jumping around from one niche to another, to another. But then I was also on social media trying to speak to a specific person that just, it wasn't, but it wasn't in alignment for me as the teacher, as the guide, as the woman of service, I was losing sight of how I actually wanted to speak and how I actually wanted to show up. I started to ask myself do I even like actually want to show up on social media at all? Like is this something that I actually want to be doing? And there has been several. Evolutions for me in the social media space, even over just the course of six years, because as I said, I was afraid of social media before 2020, and then the MLM opened the door and then I started becoming an entrepreneur and I saw that. What you have to do is show up on social, and then you're influenced by the influencers who are also spiritual teachers, healers, lightworkers, heart led entrepreneurs who are out there living their best lives, making a buttload of money, shaking their booties, walking on the beach constantly, and you're wondering, well, how can I become that? But is that even what I actually want? So this like, brings me to another point, and I know I'm jumping around a little bit, so I hope there is cohesion to it, of course, but, um. Yeah, me in particular, in the early, you know, 20 20, 20 21, 20 22. I had a toddler in tow, and yet I was watching. These influencers slash healers heart led entrepreneurs who were, you know, traveling the world and living their best life talking about how they're making a buttload of money and, you know, they're speaking so eloquently and they have a sense of self and they're confident in their messaging and, you know, you want all of that. And yet I was. A mom of a toddler at home and I started to feel like my toddler was a hindrance to who I wanted to become. And there was guilt obviously with that because. My daughter is not a hindrance. What I had to realize and really take a look at is that I am comparing my life to a life that just is not in the cards for me. And do I even want that? I mean. I wouldn't trade motherhood. I wouldn't trade my relationship with my husband. I wouldn't trade our home, our property. I wouldn't trade any of it but social media has a way of making us believe we are less than and operating from a place of scarcity and thinking we are not good enough and focusing on things that are, you know, there is necessity, there is importance to, but it is not to obsess. About, and it is not the sole focus. The sole focus for those of us who are heart led is not money. It is a reward for doing good work and being of service in the way that your soul came here to be. But it is not the reason we become an entrepreneur but when we're on social media, it's very easy to get clouded and to lose sight and lose focus of what we're truly here to do. Being on social media, takes a lot of discernment, energetically especially as a highly sensitive because for me in particular, within two minutes of being on social media, I feel energetically funked as I, I think I've already mentioned. It is gotta be because there's so many people on this platform or on these platforms at the same time, right? There's like millions, billions of people on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, whatever it is, all at the same time. So doesn't it make sense that those of us that are highly sensitive would. Feel the energy that is in the space. And if it's so overwhelming and it's like a hurricane or a big dust cloud of energy, that's like how I see it in my mind. Of course, we're gonna feel overwhelmed by it, and for me, like I said, one to two minutes, I'm on there energetically. Funked for me looks like I start to f like my whole energy shifts. I, I could go into that space feeling confident. Like, I wanna do it like, because I feel good and there's something I, I wanna share or wanna look at. And then as soon as I get in there, my energy shifts and I feel like crap. I feel agitated, I feel aggravated. And yeah, there's anger and hostility and. Yeah, it, it's wild how it happens. So I have put practices in place when I do go on, I've set boundaries, but usually when I get off, I go outside and ground or I. Um, do a shaking, a shaking meditation, uh, with a little bit of breath work. And I, like I said, I have very strong boundaries. I have, I have the strongest boundary I've had in a very long time, which is I haven't been on. Since August. I mean, I shouldn't say I haven't been on at all. I've been on very sporadically and I haven't posted, or, you know, spent more than just a couple minutes, um, since August and. It has felt really good. Now, going back to the point of being an entrepreneur, you know, we are conditioned, we have been conditioned to believe that as entrepreneurs in this spiritual space. You're selling yourself as a heart led entrepreneur. And that in and of itself feels really confusing because yeah, you're always, you're always trying to be as authentic as you can, but. You're exposing yourself, you're, you're showing yourself vulnerably or you're not, and people can feel that. And it is just, it is very, it is just such a funky space to be in because those of us who are heart lit entrepreneurs, I'm not quite sure that we actually. The majority of us enjoy being on social media, but we've convinced ourselves that this is where we need to be. So we've convinced ourselves that this is what we wanna do, and there's this element of we need to be known, liked, and trusted in order to make money or to build a following. And that can take a significant amount of time and. That takes a significant amount of sharing and openness, and there's nothing wrong with being open. But there's a difference between, between being an open person and needing to share every. Aspect of your life and sharing your children and your family. I mean, I've gotten to a point now where I'm like, I cannot believe how much I exposed my children on. So social media. And I literally went back like two months ago through every single one of my posts on Instagram and Facebook, and I deleted every post I shared of my children because. It's wrong. In my opinion, this is just my opinion, but I believe that it's wrong. They don't give consent to exposing them, first of all. Second of all, we're exposing them. We're exposing our kids, our family, our the, and like, your experiences with your family are sacred. Why do they need to be shared with the world? Asking yourself that question. What am I trying to get out of sharing my personal experiences with my family? Our daily adventures when we go traveling, when we're eating dinner, when my child is bathing, what am I trying to get out of this? Because it's kind of messed up that we share so much of ourselves and I had to step away to see that clearly as Harlan entrepreneurs trying to be as authentic and genuine as possible so that we can call in our people, but we have to be really discerning, like what kind of people are our people? What are we trying to call in? Who do we actually wanna work with? What would they want to see? Do they even care about this? Do we want them to envy us? Do we want them to feel like I want what she has? I really had to check in with that. And, um, I had to be honest with myself again about how do I want to make money and how do I want to grow my business? And for me, the best way that I have come to accept and, and love actually is word of mouth and referral. I. I don't think that I, I am built or that I was created to find what I'm looking for on social media. And here's why I think that, and this is for you if you. Oh my gosh. You have been on social media trying to build your following, trying to build your business, trying to show up authentically, all these things for years. Years. And you still feel like you're speaking into an echo chamber. You've spent thousands of dollars on business coaches who tell you you need to niche, you need to, you know, show them the problem and that you're the vehicle to their solution and all this crazy mumbo jumbo. If that's you, and yet you're still speaking into an echo chamber, your business has not significantly grown since being on social media and it's leaving you feel like there's something wrong with you. I believe a hundred percent. That is part of the reason social media exists and you are falling victim to a machine that is intended to make you feel like you're not good enough. But it does not mean you are not good enough. Maybe what it means is that social media is not where you're meant to be building. Maybe it means that you need to take some responsibility for who you are and the ways that you wanna show up in the world, and the ways that you wanna call in your people, your following, your circle, your community, your, your clients, your customers, whatever it is. Maybe there's another way that, and maybe it is going back to grassroots and doing things the old fashioned way, or maybe it's not. Maybe it's just simply working on SEOs for your website and focusing on your website. Maybe it's getting on. Substack, maybe it's creating a podcast or maybe it's creating a blog. But there are other ways to grow your business as a heartland entrepreneur that might not be so involved with social media that might feel really good for you and work for you. Maybe there are ways that you've already. Discovered or somebody is brought to your awareness and you shut it down, ask yourself if that's actually your ego, who's telling you not to do this? Because it could actually potentially work for me. My experience, I pushed and I pushed and I pushed through social media again. I spent thousands of dollars on coaches who all told me the same thing. It was a different. Way of guiding me to the same thing, three different coaches and. It all was the same and it just did not work for me. And when you start to feel like you're frustrated beyond belief because what these business coaches are telling you to do, or what social media is telling you to do in order to grow isn't working for you. Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's the thing you're doing that isn't working your magic, your soul, your gifts are all definitely 100% meant to be shared with the world. You are meant to be shared with your community, whatever that looks like, whatever that means for you. It could be a community of 10 people. There is a way you just have to open yourself to accept that maybe this isn't it, and open up to and welcome in whatever it is, the way that might work for you. And yeah, recognizing, social media in part, has been created to make us feel less than, and we see this in not just other heart led entrepreneurs who are influencers making tons of money living a life that you be realistic. Maybe our is just actually not the life that you want or is created for you or that you're creating for yourself. But when we get on social media, that influencer is influencing to us. It's a distraction from our actual. Goals when you start to feel that clouded confusion and that distraction from what you're witnessing on social media, I wanna encourage you to get off and take a couple days to a couple weeks or however long it takes to sit with yourself and get back to clarity on who you are, what you want your life to look like. Be real with yourself about about what. It is that it can look like, because if you're looking at influencers who don't have children and don't have, you know, responsibilities that you have, and yet you're envying them, I mean, that is demonic an influencer that you want to get insight from or maybe feel inspired by is someone who mirrors what you, you know, you're experiencing in your own life. And demons. Satan wants to try to eliminate the family system, wants to try to eliminate, a loving environment it loves separation. So if we start to look at influencers and wanna separate ourselves from our responsibilities and our family unit. And it's not actually the family unit that's the problem. It's, it's this influence. I encourage you to get off of social media and, and take a look at, at your life and be in your life, be in it, be present in your own life. Stop looking at what other people are doing. And this isn't just influencers. This is the highlight reel that people love to showcase that is such. Bs. People love to post now for the purpose of social media. You know, they're doing things, they're going on adventures with their kids and their families or, or their girlfriends or whatever it is, not because they wanna experience time and, and like do the thing they want to be able to share about it on social. So just keep that in mind. That is not what we want. Even those people who are doing that, is that what really what they want? Who knows? Who knows? But it's not your problem. It's not my problem. It's not any of our problem. All we can do is recognize what is not in alignment with who we are. What we want out of life with our responsibilities, with our soul's purpose, with our gifts, our magic, how we wanna speak, how we wanna show up. We have to be honest with ourselves. We don't have to be on social media if it feels heavy, if it feels dense, if it, you know, like me, causes energetic funk within minutes. This is an invitation for you to ask yourself, are other boundaries needed? Is this the space for me? Do I actually like being here? Does this make my life better, or is this a distraction? Do people need to know what I'm doing? Like, why do I need to share all of this? There has been so many years, of course, you know, again, going back to 2020, when this all started for me, on that entire journey up until last August, I was. Definitely oversharing. I'm always as a, as authentic as I allow myself to be. I'm always as genuine as I'm able to be given what. Age I am and what healing work I've done and what confidence I've built within myself. And, you know, having that self-awareness and, and knowing who I am that has, you know, contributed to what I show on and what I've shared on social media. And I have definitely overshared. It was like five years where my life completely burned to the ground and I rebuilt again I would share really vulnerable, as one of my friends said, some of your posts people might find them a little off putting because they were so raw and honest and exposing. But I've gotten to a place where I have done so much of the deep work and I've grown in my relationship with God and I've gotten to a place where I no longer feel the need, not only to share. Those deeply vulnerable, raw, off-putting, um, truths with the world on social media because I don't need the acknowledgement anymore. I don't need to be validated. I don't need to be seen. I don't need any of that anymore because of the love that. I get from the people that truly love and support me the love I give to myself and the loving relationship I have with the Divine. The other thing sharing those vulnerable posts. I shared them to inspire others who had gone through maybe something similar or something relatable. I wanted to inspire others to feel safe to speak your truth. But. I'm not sure that a place like Facebook or Instagram or TikTok is the most authentic places so my point is, if you like myself, super vulnerable and shared every aspect of your journey or you're so focused on authenticity and you feel like in order to inspire, you have to share like these deeply. Raw posts. Then I would just check in with yourself and see if this, ask yourself is, is this serving me? Is this actually, do I need to be doing this? Are there parts of. My journey that are just meant for me is all of this just meant for me. And I wanna share this because we can give ourselves permission to delete whatever we want. People you often hear will say, like, once you post something, it's already there. That doesn't mean you can't delete it. So those posts that I did make that were. Like exposing those that had hurt me. Along with the posts of my family I don't want those posts on Facebook anymore. I don't want the me finally expressing my truth and exposing my family for what they are. I don't need that to be out there anymore. And you know, that was a version of me that was in pain, that was operating from pain and was trying to get relief and was, I did get relief. It was a part of my journey and I'm not ashamed of it, It's not the truth. I want to. Have out there anymore. It is a truth of course, but it's not necessary for everybody to know, like these very private things. And so, I wanna en encourage you that if you feel like you do share things that are maybe like. Out of alignment with who you are today, and they are deeply vulnerable and you are doing it from a place of like filling a need within yourself, but also trying to maybe grow your business. Ask yourself if it needs to stay on your feed or in your grid or whatever you wanna call it, because you don't have to do anything and you do not have to keep things up like posts there that no longer reflect or feel like a part of you that you need to expose anymore. Since getting off of social media in August, all of the things that I talked about today are the reasons I got off. It energetically funks me. It just perpetuates this comparison trap looking at other people and feeling like you're not good enough, and feeling like, should I be doing something? Um, you know, this is how I was feeling. Am I doing things right? Like, I don't want to be doing what they're doing, but should I be doing that thing? And, you know, also the influencer influencing. And the other thing is that it wasn't actually serving my business. I was not growing at all. Not at all. Zero. Like my followers weren't increasing and I was consistent on social media. I was showing up at least three times a week. I was in my stories almost every day. I was being as authentic as I could be in that moment. I was also trying to utilize the marketing strategies that business coaches had shared with me and they weren't working, it's like, come on, I am still speaking into an echo chamber. What is wrong with me? Why isn't this happening for me? And reaching out to a former, one of my former business coaches, again, telling me that it was me, and I was like, you know what? What you're saying is bs, but also. This is bs. This whole thing is bs and I hate social media. So why am I on here? Um, and I know hate is a strong word. I very strongly dislike social media. When I go on, just because my husband shares something through Facebook Messenger with me and then I have to go on and then I end up on there and I end up seeing stuff. Like I even just scrolling through is really, I. Ugh. Like, it just does not feel good. Even when I'm not even on there for my own purposes, you know, I'm just in there being a witness. It, it, it feels gross. I just can't stand it. I, so by August of last year, I'm like, I have to accept that maybe this is not. Space for me, and of course this was being divinely guided. I was sitting in my sacred space talking with God over and over again, like, why? What do I do? And it was very clear that I was ignoring. What I was being guided for for a while, which is maybe just don't go on anymore and see what happens, and maybe that's not the space for you. Since August when I decided. I'm done. My business has grown substantially. I mean, I went from crickets, zero one-on-one clients for months, months at a time. And since I got off social media, I've had at least two to four clients a month. And for me that's perfect. Like that's enough. My work is very. Sacred and it's a lot energetically, and I also am a mom and that comes first, and I'm also now establishing this other business. So there's many reasons why two to four clients for me is absolutely perfect and invested clients. It's not just one-on-one sessions, it's invested. And I was on social media for years, offering mentorship program. So working with me for four months at a time. With crickets. Not to say like I haven't gotten any business through social media in the earlier days of offering these services, I did get one-on-one clients through social media. But that was in the prime of social media. So in the beginnings it was, but now so many people see so many coaches and healers and lightworkers and all this stuff all over, so it's so saturated. So in the last three years, it's been an echo chamber for the most part. It's so refreshing that I'm actually growing in my sacred healing business since finally accepting that this is not the space for me, and that showing up in these ways is not working for me I always felt I am literally working my ass off making all these posts and I went through phases where I was scheduling posts and batching content and. I was like, I am literally working so many hours a week doing this and not getting paid for it. And yeah, I'm just so grateful I've taken that energy suck outta the equation because it was just that, and it was not serving me at all in my sacred healing work. Now, I do believe that. A lot of the work that I was putting in with the content and like getting to understand like how to. Work on social media was prepping me for this new business venture that I'm on because it is product based and it has more of a focus I don't have to figure out how to speak to people about it. Like, you know, with my business coaches, as I said, they basically said, I speak in riddles trying to build my sacred healing business. I was just speaking from my heart and I was being told people don't understand you. Whereas this business moving forward with Happy Harvest Kitchen and doing postpartum, grab and go snacks, like it's pretty straightforward what, what we're niched in and what we're speaking to. So I do feel like in another, like that's another way for me personally that doing all of that work. Working with no pay by creating all these posts and blahdi blahdi blue, uh, was actually preparing me for how I was gonna Be able to market Happy Harvest Kitchen. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. But yeah, that's, that's my story and that's how I feel about social. Again, I invite you to take a look. And reflect upon how you actually feel about it. Is it serving you? I mean, more of us in this. Parts centered entrepreneur space are going back to grassroots, inviting people to our classes and our services and our circles and our events through other means, which is, for me and some of my friends and clients, it's email and it's your email list. And it's word of mouth. Word of mouth now is how I am building sacred healing, my sacred healing business. Word of mouth referral. And that feels really freaking good because as a healer. You do want your clients to refer other people to you because they know firsthand what it is that you do. They understand it. They've been through it. They can actually speak to it. And they can speak that to somebody expressing that they need a service you provide. So for me, that feels really good. And then some of the other events and stuff we are just doing it via email and inviting people that way because we wanna keep it as in alignment as possible. And when you share things all over social media. there's so many different energies that can show up in your spaces that might not be in alignment with what you're here to do and how you're here to serve. So this is an invitation to take a look at. Be honest with yourself. Are you overexposing? Are you oversharing? Are you still looking for acknowledgement? If you are, then. This again is an invitation for you to ask yourself, why do I go on social media to look for acknowledgement? What do I need validation or comments or likes for? What am I missing inside? Like, what's going on in here? Turn the mirror around to you. Look at yourself, and if you get energetically funked. Yeah, you, you need to set some boundaries and ask yourself, what are the boundaries I need to set? Do I need to set a timer so I'm only on there for a brief period of time? Do I need to take breaks throughout the week? Like I don't go on four days of the week, I, or I take weekends off? Something like that. Do you have an energy hygiene practice? Of course, of course, of course. As a highly sensitive you absolutely 100% every single day should be doing a energy hygiene practice twice a day if possible, at the beginning and at the end. And yeah, if you want any guidance or support or tools or tips and you wanna reach out to me, you wanna respond in the comments of this episode,, feel free to respond in the comments. Feel free to leave me a question. Feel free to email me. It's SH studios32323@gmail.com. You can email me if you wanna contact me in response to this episode and of course, please feel free to. Subscribe to this YouTube channel. Share it with those that you believe would resonate with this content and like follow me so that you can. Stay connected when a new episode drops. I will leave it there. I've said more than enough, more than I expected to, of course. I look forward to speaking to you in the next episode. Much love and many blessings to you.