Jane Carter on Embracing Your Weird in Business

Join Laura as she sits down with Jane Carter, a therapist-turned-business coach who helps Asheville's "soulful solopreneurs" build authentic businesses by embracing what makes them different. 

Jane shares her journey from therapy to coaching, why she calls her work "stealth therapy," and how running a business brings up all your stuff—in the best possible way. Discover why being weird is an asset in Asheville's creative business community, plus Jane's favorite early morning parkway spots and her special offer for listeners. 

Find Jane at https://www.janecartercoaching.com/

Find your host, Laura Jurgens, PhD, Relationship & Intimacy Coach at https://laurajurgens.com Laura specializes in helping people overcome the disconnection from Desire Gaps with their partners.

Find her other podcast, Sex Help for Smart People, here: https://laurajurgens.com/podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

 Hey, welcome to Asheville area favorites. I am your host, Laura Jurgens, and we are here to meet the people and hear the stories behind Asheville, amazing small business and Creator Community. This show is brought to you by my own business. Laura Jurgens, intimacy and relationship coaching and links to everything mentioned here are in the show notes so you can find places and people easily to connect. Welcome to today's show.

All right, everyone. Welcome. I'm so happy to be here today with Jane Carter of Jane Carter coaching my friend, someone who has eased my business transition in Asheville, here to find out all about you and your path and your business. Do you want to start with just introducing yourself? Sure, I am a well, I was going to say I'm a therapist turned business coach, but I'm still a therapist.

It's just one day a week. I call it my very private practice.

Been a therapist for 25 years, and about 10 years ago I started, I added business coaching, but I still I call it stealth therapy, because I find that helping people with their business, it brings up all their stuff. Oh my gosh, yes, yeah, running a business brings up all your stuff, but then you have this opportunity to work through that stuff, through your business, yeah? And you have, like, the greatest incentive ever, which is to try to make your business success. Yeah, like, and as you're working through your stuff, your business is rewarding you, not only with more money, yay, but with fun and and clients that you enjoy working with. Yeah, fulfilling all our words, right, like you got into it in the first place. Yes, exactly, exactly, satisfaction, enjoyment, yeah. And, I mean, I not to say everybody loves being in business, or everybody should be an entrepreneur, but if you do want to do that, right? What you want it to be fulfilling, right? Exactly. And I feel like kind of along the lines of the theme of just celebrating Asheville. I mean, I work with people all over the country, but the kinds of people who are in Asheville are wanting to live very full lives, yeah, right? Like meaning. For people who want meaning and they contribute, they don't want to be a cog, they aren't just just give me the money

they want. I'm sure we got a few of those around here. But I do think in general, you are correct that we have a lot of people looking for a broader significance. We have a lot of soulful solopreneurs or soulful business people, a lot of creators, writers, and even the people doing the kind of businessy businesses, how, you know, they're also musicians on the side, or, you know, I mean, they're, they're playing soccer on a team sport, or they're, you know, they're, they're engaged in the rock climbers, or they're engaged in the community, like they're well rounded, soulful, interesting, weird in the best way. People yes, they like weird here, yes. And the kinds of business coaching clients I attract, they tend to be deep feelers. A lot of what I do is help them embrace their weird, like embrace what makes them different again. So marketing is showing what's different about you and embracing it and amplifying it. And that's also a therapeutic thing. Yeah, totally, to own your weird or own your Yeah, at least that's the be more you get rewarded for it, yeah, yeah, the most fun version of marketing, yeah. So just be yourself. Oh my gosh. It's so exhausting, even watching people that you know they're having to be someone else or they're trying to be someone else, isn't that just it is exhausting. Yeah, exhausting. Contorting themselves on Tiktok too. Back when

people used to like point at the text and they looked like they've been taken hostage,

a lot of people who are really successful with that, I know, but you don't, you don't have to be. You don't have to, if you don't want to, yeah, if you want to go to town, have so much fun with it. If you don't want to, you don't have to. So glad we don't have to be that person. I'm successful because I'm not. I'm not that person. Yeah, either.

Okay, so how did this happen for you? You got it, you got into therapy for a reason, and then you have allowed it to become a very private practice. Yes, I imagine people like crawling through a hedge to get

where there's like a little sign, like, very private go this way. There's, like, maybe some bread crumbs or something. It's kind of like that.

That's great. That sounds fun. So how did this happen? And like, so you said kind of who you work with,

but like, what was the path?

What was the story? Okay, so with both things, it, like many people in the helping professions, I was helped by therapy and I was helped by business coaching, and wanted to just stay in that world.

I found it fascinating. I mean, it was, it was a life changer for me to have therapy, and it changed my whole family, really. So I just when I was in grad school, I was like, I hope I'm not doing this just because I want more therapy. I hope I actually enjoyed doing the work. And of course, I did love it. I loved it. It lit me up, and it still does. So I found my thing. And then when I was going into private practice, I was terrified, and all my stuff was coming up, and I probably went into private practice about three years later than I should have, but I was so scared, and I came across a business coach who she Christine Caine, she's a Local and she's no longer in the coaching world,

but she was a musician here. This is so Asheville. She was such an Asheville musician, and then she became a business coach, and I learned so much from her, and I noticed I was starting to just do the work of coaching with friends and colleagues who were going into private practice. And then I thought, you know, I'd like to get paid for this, that would be fun.

And then during the pandemic, I kind of flipped from that being my side hustle to that being my main thing. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, I just, I love learning. I still read all the time, I listen to podcasts all the time. I love to learn. And both professions allow me to learn and at the same time, oh, my goodness, I get to take the things I learn and teach them to other people and see things happen in their lives. And it's just a blast. It's so fun. Yeah, is really some a kind of special rewarding when you get to kind of transform your own challenges into strengths and empathy that help other people through their challenges. I think that's, I mean, that's very similar to my story, except for I had, like, all kinds of I've had a windy path,

science professorship and all kinds of other stuff, but it's all been in service of the same thing that you're talking about. Like, trans sounds like, transforming the things that were really challenging for you, yeah, into a space that helps other people. Yeah? And I know I keep using the term fun, but I mean it, yeah, totally, I believe in following the fun. And you know, it's still work, and sometimes it's heartbreaking, but I've been to some of your events, and we always have a good time. Yeah, thanks.

Back when I was in therapy and I went in high school, and I remember around the same time coming across uh, Joseph Campbell's quote, follow your bliss. And also, oh, it was right around when Dead Poets Society came out too, where I was like, oh, life is short. We we've got to find the things that light us up. And yes, there is still work. It is not just a oh, this is fun. And then now all the clients will come and all the money,

but I it's, it's one of my biggest accomplishments is I love my work. I love it. I get off the phone with coaching clients and I'm just like, yes, or like, the client, the counseling client, leaves the office, and I'm just like, oh, this rules. It's so awesome. That was my whole day yesterday. Oh, yeah,

big deal. I sometimes forget that not everybody in the world is just loving their work, but I love it. I don't forget it because I didn't used to love it. But I am so glad for you that you have that joy. Thank you. Thank you. Really happy for you about that. And sometimes that requires us to have, you know, a few irons in the fire. So right that it creates some balance, it creates some perspective. And I imagine, especially since you work with so many therapists either going to transition into private practice, or transitioning their private practice into some sort of other kind of niche, or something that keeping your toe in too, and actually working with therapy clients is important perspective. It is too, yeah, yeah. I don't ever want to completely let go of being a therapist. It makes me a better coach, and coaching makes me a better therapist. They kind of feed each other.

And just being able to, I mean, you have to be so present. I mean, really in both, but yeah, but as a, as a counselor, it requires such presence, and it keeps me, keeps me real.

But, yeah, it's a good reminder to when I'm when I'm helping a therapist either build their private practice or specialize, or leave their job to go into private practice, actually, frankly, it reminds me how important the work is that they're doing. And I can tell them, like, hey, remember, this is a big deal. Yeah, you know, to be able to be, be with someone and lend them your nervous system for an hour and, like, deeply, listen and be, be with them fully, is.

Is, is huge. It's a big deal. It's really valuable. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. So what is one part that has been most fun lately?

That's such a great question you can take your time answering

lately. What has been fun?

I so so with the business coaching, I do that mostly over the phone, but recently, actually it was kind of a post to lean thing where I was offering in person, kind of drop in coaching. You came to some of those,

and I started a little group. I call them the brain trust, the Asheville brain trust, and so I started a little local mastermind, and actually only two of them are therapists. It's amazing. I've got a realtor, I've got a money trainer, I've got what else, a social media person,

anyway, but meeting in person has really revived, not revived the work, but it just, it just juices me up, like to actually be in the room with people doing the business coaching and seeing them interact with each other, and start to refer to each other, and it's so Asheville II, they're all just great, down to earth. People I've always met like, that was why I came to your event, right? Yeah, it's fun. People like a jewelry designer, somebody who's opening a restaurant, yeah, a therapist who specializes in something, I really needed somebody to refer Yeah, client to, yeah. That was so great. It you know, I used so I used to do those very rarely. And then Helene hit. And I was like, Okay, I need to find my way to give back to my community. We're coming up on one year. I can feel myself tear up a little bit.

I just was like, What's my thing? And so I was like, All right, well, I want local businesses to thrive. So so for so I did those weekly for quite a while, and then I started to spread them out. And then life was getting a little too lifey. So okay, I'm I need to stop doing the mighty Fridays for this, what I called them for a while. I still want to offer some occasionally, but, but, but, yeah, the power of getting people together. You've got this little mastermind in person gathering. I mean, that's why I started this, yeah, of this, Helene, like feeling like we have such an amazing business community. We do. It was such a sometimes it feels like during, you know, we're not as connected as we could be, or as like we don't have as many ways to support each other. Well, yeah, and just we don't have to open the whole can of worms about AI and just being on our screens all the time, but it's a thing, and we need in person gathering. I love gathering. That's my favorite thing. That's my other favorite

gatherings, and gathering people, and, yeah, so, so being able to meet with some Asheville solopreneurs in particular, and just again, like the variety, the creativity, the sensitivity, the weirdness, the down to earthness. I mean, all the reasons that I'm in this community, and have been for 25 years, it was like, Oh, this is I get to celebrate this and and, you know, people like, Oh, thank you so much. I'm like, This is my joy like this. I had so much I always have fun with those. It's yeah, just getting to be with people. Why this is special, yeah? All right, I'm gonna ask you a weird question. Okay, if you had to describe what you do as a business coach using only single syllable words with no plurals, as if you were a caveman.

How would you do it? Take your times? This is a this is a serious question here requires some pondering that is really hard, I know, but it's going to be so good,

like the more you do what you want.

Be more you do what you want. Yeah, yeah. So it's like me help be more. You do what you me, help you. Oh, yeah,

what's, what's a one soul Lord for invite,

yeah, yeah, just me, help you bring be more you. Be more you. I like it, and I think that would describe my therapy practice to me. Help me, help you bring more you, yeah, yeah. That's a great prompt.

It's your new business card.

Update the website. Jane Carter coaching me help you, and you can

have a little

club.

Okay, so, Asheville, you've been here for 25 years. Yes, we'll see it's 2025 I've moved here. Oh, 20.

Four years, 24 years? Yes, we won't nitpick 24 years, yeah, but, I mean, we like accuracy, of course. Um, some so, so you have a perspective on this community that I think you know is long enough to have seen quite a few changes. Yes, for you, how is it? I mean, I know, okay, so yes, Hurricane really, like, we could, we could do the caveman game, and it would be really sad. I'm gonna invite everybody just to do that at home to yourself, yeah, um, but, so that was a big impact. But in general, the general trend of trajectory for you, of like, how you feel, like the things you've been into here, why you like doing business here? Why'd you stay? Oh, because I never want to leave or live anywhere else.

Have you lived? Where else have you lived? I've lived I grew up in Atlanta. I've lived in Colorado. I went to college out in Colorado, and then I lived in Nashville, Tennessee while I was in graduate school at Vanderbilt, which was not my place, and I got to North Carolina. I spent all my summers in western North Carolina. So when I as a kid, yeah, my family, I have some deep roots here

and but something about sort of, I was like, Okay, I was in Nashville. I was like, I have got to get out of here. It feels too much like Atlanta, which, you know, bless Atlanta's heart, but that wasn't where I needed to end up, either.

And I remember thinking, I need to find a place that feels like Colorado, but is back in the south. So I'm close to my family. And I was visiting family in North Carolina near Asheville, and I went, Oh, that's right. Oh, I love it here. I'm home. I'm home. And someone, I was visiting Asheville, and someone kind of offhandedly, said, Oh, Asheville, so weird. And

I was like, yes, that's where I want to be. I need to be somewhere that can be weird and keep people real and down to earth. And this, you know, outdoorsy people, I need down to earth, people unpretentious and in the south. And so this was, this was home, and it still is him. And even though Asheville has changed a lot, and, you know, especially pre Helene, I was like, gosh, it's getting really posh. But then I go visit other places, or I'll go back to Atlanta again, kind of every place. I was about to say, no shade Atlanta. But I'm like, No, it's okay, some shade.

I, you know, I'll go back and visit. I'm like, oh, no, we still have a real community feel here. We still have, we've still got some, yeah, we got some high end stuff that caters especially to tourists, or if you want to crazy night out or something, sure. I mean, you can still show up. There's such a variety, and there's still a community feeling. And I and it's probably a small business, yeah, and yeah, you know. And even, like, someone was visiting and, and I was, we were going to all these kind of restaurants and cafes and the chocolate lounge, and everywhere I went, I was like, oh, you know, I know the owner.

Oh, the owner here is so sweet. And like, Oh, I love this place. You know, I'm friends with the owner. And, and I didn't know this person very well. They were kind of like, wow, you know, all the owners, they thought I was name dropping or trying to be self important. And I was like, Oh no, no, I'm not trying to be full of myself that I know the owner. I was like, Asheville is just like that. Everybody knows each other like I just I know the owners because I've lived here a long time, and we all have the same friends, and we've crossed paths, and because people talk to each other, or at least where I hang out, people talk to each other. And you walk down the street and you run into people that you actually know, yeah, and I've only been here two years, and that happens to me, oh, it's the best.

I see people I know at the grocery store or Yeah, and you're like, Oh, you work at such and such, like, you know. And, and I've had this conversations where we'll be like, Wait, where do I know you from? We know, and we're both like, Yes, I know you from somewhere. Oh, trivia, jack of the wood, you know, like you're my rival. Ah, you know. So it just feels a lot of stuff to do, but we also have a small community feel, for sure, yes, and I will say, like, post Helene. I mean, that was, again, I'm that was just talking with some friends about this where we're, you know, coming up on the anniversary, and feel it, still feeling the grief and having all the feels about it, and, um, but one of the Silver Linings was a renewed sense of just the tightness of the community, a renewed sense of, ah, we really have pride in this place. We really care about this place, and it felt in those first few months, especially after the storm, it kind of felt similar to when I first moved here, and there weren't quite as many people and there were, yeah, just a little more of that kind of I know you and, oh, and we're all kind of struggling to make money and get by. And.

We're all just kind of like scrapping and but also celebrating, and we're all just really happy to be here and we stay. And it was like, yeah, and we're the ones who stayed because of our roots. Are here. This is this is home. So, yeah, awesome. What's something you always recommend people do when they're here?

Oh, man. So

usually when people say, Oh, I'm coming to Asheville, I'm like, let me give you a list. Here are all the places I would recommend, or even for locals too. Yeah, well, something I did the other day, and I realized how long it had been since I did this, and I I want to do more regularly, just going up on the parkway either early in the morning and everything's foggy and, oh yeah, where's your favorite early morning spot?

That's really tough. I want it sleepy. Gap is one of the gap. But even, and I'm, oh my gosh, I'm totally blanking on it's it. There's this one pull off after you go through the first tunnel, you there's a really which when you're sorry when you're heading towards Brevard on the Okay, on the parkway. But anyway, it even though it's not looking at sunset, the clouds are always really beautiful at sunset. And so just, I'll go up there, either with friends and a glass of wine or, you know, whatever. Or just take my dog and a blanket and we just kind of sit there together and just look at the sunset clouds. Or, again, I get up really early. I'm a super early riser, so sometimes, like on a Saturday morning, you know, five in the morning, I'm like, All right, we're heading up the parkway, and I'll just drive, and you take your dog, and I'll take my dog. What kind of dog do you have? He is a hound, Shepherd, possibly yellow lab mix. He's the blend of wonderfulness, blend of wonderfulness, the sweetest monster.

That's great. Yes, love it. Sweet. Hugo. Hugo goes up on the parkway with you, and you guys watch together. Yeah, he's an old dog, so we can't do hikes, long hikes anymore. But okay, so he still gets to but he's really happy. He loves, just like hanging out outside. And this is a very dog friendly community. Oh my gosh, really nice I was when I first moved here to it is, and again, another reason why I said, Oh, I'm home. If people love dogs this much, I'm in the right place. My first dog, Nat, we were sitting outside of World Cafe. No, no. It was the old, okay, it was old which then became old Europe, which there's old Europe, okay? Locals, long time, locals will know this. There's old Europe, but then there's old old Europe, and then there's old, old old Europe. And this was old old, old old Europe, four olds, yes, okay, so which had been World Cafe. So anyway, I was sitting outside reading my book. My dog is tied to the table, and just like greeting everyone going by, and this guy sits down next to me with his guitar, and he said, Oh, I wrote a dog about, I wrote a song about how I want to be an Asheville dog. So serenaded me and my dog that what, how great it is to be a dog in Asheville, and everybody loves you, and everyone treats you well. I was like, Yep, pretty much, that's it. That's true.

And it was like, random and weird and friendly and community ish, yeah, yep, I'm in the right place. You know, old Europe is a great place to grab some stuff before you go up on the parkway. Yes,

French creamy. I love to go to the to Old Europe and get the French creamy. It is so delicious,

and take it with me, and that's I'm gonna take. I like to eat it there, but I'm gonna get a French creamy and take it up on the parkway sometime that maybe I'll do that tonight. Yeah, yes, that's a great idea. Then you can tell us all about it when your episode comes out. You can post it on that. That's, I'll take a picture. It'll have, like, confectioners sugar all over my face. It's, it's not gonna have sugar.

Great, perfect. And please take a picture. If you go, Oh my gosh, you're so cute. So how if people wanted to find you and find out more about your coaching or your therapy, they wanted to maybe think about maybe they're a solo printer out there and they want some help, yeah, having growing their business in a way that feels authentic.

How would they find you?

Not too complicated. Jane Carter coaching, calm,

great. We'll link it in the show notes. And I have a resource page where I have a bunch of freebies. So and I, if you email me directly, just Jane at Jane Carter coaching.com, I have, I call them business therapy sessions, and they're just little 20 minute coaching calls, and I'll, I'll give you the link for that. That's kind of a special. I don't, I don't just broadcast that. You get a special. Okay, so that's just for special. Asheville area favorites podcast listeners. Put it in the show notes so people can.

Great. Yes, take advantage. Yes. And I have several free resources for solopreneurs as well on my website. Awesome. Yeah, that's so great. Thanks so much for being here. Oh, it's such a pleasure. This was so fun. Thanks, Laura. Thanks for being here. If you liked this show. Check out my other podcast, sex help for smart people, for practical support in intimacy and relationships anywhere you get your podcasts, see you here next week. You.