WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.439 Thank you for listening to the Kelowna Christian Center podcast. 00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:08.080 Our desire is that today's message will be fresh and encouraging to you. 00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:13.679 For more information on KT and how to connect, visit us at KC.net. 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:14.960 Hey there. 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:16.719 Good morning, everyone. 00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:18.079 Good morning. 00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:21.679 Hey, doesn't it feel good to express yourself? 00:00:21.920 --> 00:00:26.559 Just to express like just in in just a even just clapping. 00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:30.000 How many of you are clappers in the in the church today? 00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:30.800 You're clap. 00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:33.200 Yeah, let's hear it for the clappers. 00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:37.439 We won't do it for the dancers here, all you dancers that are. 00:00:38.399 --> 00:00:48.240 But there are those, I love it when you're express when I see around the church and I hear around the church different different uh expressions. 00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:51.359 Because it's what really makes us who we are. 00:00:51.439 --> 00:01:02.880 I love being able to see people who are shouting, people who like have that loud voice, the people who uh are whistling, those people who just get out from into the aisle, that's okay. 00:01:02.960 --> 00:01:05.519 You know, you just get out and make room. 00:01:05.680 --> 00:01:08.879 It saves uh an eye for the people beside you. 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:19.280 Um, those of you who are just the huggers that just like to just in the middle of worship, you just walking down the aisle, hugging everybody, and just saying, hey, good to see you this week. 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:22.719 Um, it's good to see an expressive church. 00:01:22.959 --> 00:01:23.599 Amen. 00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:27.920 It's good to be in a church with people who are expressive. 00:01:28.159 --> 00:01:33.359 Uh, we're continuing on our series uh in February on emotions. 00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:34.959 Uh, part two. 00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:45.120 Uh, this week, we are continuing to follow up on this series because of the cultural um space that we're in right now. 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:49.120 This February is uh a very difficult month for a lot of people. 00:01:49.760 --> 00:01:56.159 Uh statistically, it's it's a time where people just get find themselves in a real dark place. 00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:03.599 And the church needs to be on the front side of that because I believe that the Lord has given us a joy in our heart. 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:04.400 Amen? 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:07.680 Joy in our heart, a spring in our step. 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:17.759 He's given us a peace that passes understanding, and all this is expressed in the way we we move and the way we function. 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:24.400 And so we're continuing to talk about not just our emotions, but how to deal with how we feel. 00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:27.360 And uh we're gonna do continue on that today. 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:33.840 We're gonna be talking about our feelings, how to manage our feelings, and then how to man how to deal with unwanted feelings. 00:02:33.919 --> 00:02:35.919 How many of you have had unwanted feelings? 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:36.719 Yes. 00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:42.960 Some of them placed on you from other people, some of you just carrying them yourself. 00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:45.039 We want to be able to deal with that. 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:53.360 Uh, this week, before I begin, was uh a difficult week for some in the church, uh, emotional and uh complicated. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:03:04.159 Uh this week we said goodbye to one of our long-term members of KCC and and uh Terry Lebo passed away, and his his wife is here with us, Karen. 00:03:04.479 --> 00:03:14.159 Our sympathies are and our it's complicated because he's free from pain, but we celebrate because he's with the Lord. 00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:17.919 And so the challenge in our emotions is twofold. 00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:24.560 We're we're in that tension that he's not here with us now, but we'll be with him again in heaven. 00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:29.919 And so we want you to know that uh we're here with you, caring, carrying him. 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:33.360 I was thinking of him this morning, I'm sure you were as well. 00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:37.919 Uh, Terry was an expressive worshiper, wasn't he, caring? 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:44.319 He was an expressive worshiper, and I told him before he he passed away, I said he modeled worship. 00:03:44.479 --> 00:03:48.719 Um worship, a lot of women are very expressive. 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:56.719 I know that may come as a surprise to some of you, but are expressive in their response to God. 00:03:57.199 --> 00:04:03.360 But uh you don't often see men expressive in their worship. 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:07.120 And I Terry was the normal for me. 00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:22.879 He sat over here on my right, on my right, your left, my right, and he was an expressive worshiper, danced, sung, he gave everything to his worship, uh, to God, and uh he was an example for me of what it meant for a man to worship. 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:25.439 So thinking of him this week. 00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:37.120 Um, during this week, it's uh possible to experience a variety in a wide range of emotions, uh making it complicated to know how to sort through your feelings. 00:04:37.279 --> 00:04:42.079 I have on the screen here a list of core emotions. 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:51.439 I want to just take a moment, I'm gonna read through a few of them, and uh you tell me if you've felt a combination or any of these this week. 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:52.079 Anger. 00:04:52.240 --> 00:04:52.800 Anyone? 00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:54.639 I'm not gonna go through it one by one. 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:55.839 Raise your hand. 00:04:56.160 --> 00:05:00.000 How many angry people do we have in the church today? 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:04.319 We've got people who are anxious, anxiety, happy. 00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:07.439 I woke up this morning, the sun was shining. 00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:11.040 Some of you are like, I was angry and happy at the same time. 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:12.000 I don't know what to do. 00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:14.240 I'm just like in that position. 00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:47.920 Uh, belonging, humiliation, hurt, jealous, blamed, curious, joyful, disappointed, judged, lonely, disgusted, embarrassed, loved, empathetic, empathetic, um, overwhelmed, excited, regretful, fearful or scared, sad, frustrated, shamed, gratitude, feeling gratitude, surprised, vulnerable, worried, grief laden, or guilty. 00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:51.600 These are all feelings that we have throughout the week. 00:05:51.759 --> 00:06:00.319 It could be simple, could be the fact that you chose to go out when your kids are at home and you feel guilty that you left them at home while you went out. 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:05.279 It could be the feeling of, that could be true, hey Natalie, this week. 00:06:05.439 --> 00:06:07.439 That's really fresh with us. 00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:13.040 Um embarrassed, as I'm a little embarrassed right now, telling you that story. 00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:16.319 But these are feelings that we have. 00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:20.879 Man, we this more this week we had a a range of emotion. 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:37.279 Uh, I was driving home on Monday, and I had the kids in the car with me, and and my son Kaden, he he's never asked a question like this before, but he said, he said, Dad, I really want to go to a Rockets game this week, uh, this year. 00:06:37.439 --> 00:06:40.160 We haven't gone to a Rockets game in three years. 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:42.240 I want to go to a Rockets game. 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:43.759 And he was pretty persistent. 00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:46.240 He was like, Dad, this is what I want to do. 00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:48.800 And my daughter pipes in, meet me too. 00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:50.639 She likes to add herself to everything. 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:51.600 Me too. 00:06:51.839 --> 00:06:53.839 And my my other son, me too. 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:56.240 And I said, All right, let's make that happen. 00:06:56.480 --> 00:06:57.519 Let's make that happen. 00:06:57.680 --> 00:07:05.360 So the next morning, I get a phone call from uh one of the partners at the church here. 00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:09.839 He says, Listen, I've got boxed seats, I've got boxed seats at the Rockets game. 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:11.439 You can bring one guest. 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:17.120 I knew it was coming. 00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:22.879 I was at the office and I threw my wife a text and I said, Tell Caden I got a ticket for him. 00:07:23.120 --> 00:07:25.519 And he he and I can go to a rockets game. 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:36.480 I said, it's gonna be like we were treated so well, there was like food and drinks, and you want a coffee, you want a hot chocolate, Caden, you want some extra food, you want another cookie? 00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:38.240 We won't tell your mom. 00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:40.480 You you you can have whatever you want. 00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:48.240 And we went and when I sent him that message home, uh, my son was saying, my son was just elated. 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:51.360 Well, the other two were like not elated. 00:07:52.399 --> 00:08:02.639 I got video that came back from my wife saying, they are not happy with you, they're upset, they said they're coming no matter what, they're just gonna make their way there. 00:08:02.879 --> 00:08:13.680 It was like a mass of different emotion in one moment, and lucky for me, I was at work, I just turned the phone over and just was back to work. 00:08:14.079 --> 00:08:19.279 My wife had to pro it's my wife had to process that, right? 00:08:19.839 --> 00:08:22.879 But there was a lot of emotion going on. 00:08:23.040 --> 00:08:35.440 One kid across the table is doing his homeschool work, he's happy, the other one is upset and throwing his pencil, and it's like I just said, just get a hold of your family. 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:37.200 This is ridiculous. 00:08:38.399 --> 00:08:40.320 I can't come home to this. 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:45.679 Tell me when it's all better, then I'll come home. 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:53.759 We had a really great time, and I actually snuck them a few cookies back, so that was it it we worked it all out. 00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:58.240 But you have to learn how to manage your emotions. 00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:04.080 Managing emotions is really important to learn how to deal with how you feel. 00:09:04.399 --> 00:09:18.879 Dealing with your feelings is a big deal because things don't always go your way, and some of the emotions that you feel aren't always uh positive, beneficial to people around you. 00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:25.039 It's not really uh really gonna be building or um helpful. 00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:32.080 And so the first thing we do when we're looking at how to how to manage your feelings is you have to realize some things about your feelings. 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:35.600 Feelings aren't aren't always reliable. 00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:38.879 They're in fact, they're often unreliable. 00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:42.240 This is something you have to know about your feelings. 00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:47.360 Our feelings are often unreliable, they can lead you down the wrong direction. 00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:51.519 How many times have you thought, man, I got a good feeling about this? 00:09:54.639 --> 00:10:01.120 And then you realize it was in my gut, it was a good feeling, but it just never really worked out. 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:14.799 And the fact is, a whole generation of people are being raised today with this idea and this this uh coaching that hey, if it feels good, you should do it. 00:10:14.960 --> 00:10:18.159 I don't know what's in your gut, how are you feeling about this? 00:10:18.320 --> 00:10:21.120 You should go ahead and chase after your feelings. 00:10:21.279 --> 00:10:23.440 It is some of the worst advice. 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:25.759 I don't feel like brushing my teeth. 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:28.080 You should still brush your teeth. 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:30.639 I don't feel like going to bed on time. 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:34.320 I don't feel like going to bed, I don't feel like getting up. 00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:37.360 I don't feel like get looking for a job. 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:42.000 I don't feel like oh, the just feelings that direct. 00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:44.159 I don't feel like forgiving. 00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:48.240 Well, you're gonna be in trouble if that's the is if that's the fact. 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:54.159 I don't feel like it is a terrible way to actually trust feelings. 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:55.759 Leonard Cohen said this. 00:10:55.840 --> 00:10:58.399 He says, I don't trust my inner feelings. 00:10:58.639 --> 00:11:01.600 Inner feelings, they come and they go. 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:07.600 And you can't always be impulsive in the way you feel. 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:14.879 Um there's this, there is actually a whole group of people who are taking advantage of feelings. 00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:18.639 It's called the, they take advantage of, it's called FOMO. 00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:21.200 It's a a fear of missing out. 00:11:21.279 --> 00:11:23.440 They use that against the culture today. 00:11:23.840 --> 00:11:31.200 Hey, listen, you're gonna miss out unless you jump right now, unless you buy in right now. 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:33.759 And it's like, oh, should I, should I not? 00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:35.519 Should I do it, do it, do it. 00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:42.159 It's a fee they press a feeling upon you that that creates an impulsive reaction. 00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:46.240 And not always are your feelings reliable. 00:11:48.080 --> 00:12:05.200 I've I've I've been with students who have literally like decided to pack up their vehicle and drive into the states and look for that person that they were gonna have a relationship with without even first having a conversation with that individual. 00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:14.639 Literally, their feelings overwhelmed them and started to start to control their activity. 00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:16.879 I said, Where are you going? 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:19.600 Well, I'm gonna chase love. 00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:22.559 I laugh, but I shouldn't laugh. 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:25.440 Chasing love is a good thing, I I assume. 00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:30.559 But do it with people like like do you know where you're going? 00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:32.240 Do you know how you're gonna get there? 00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:34.320 Do you know what you're gonna do when you get there? 00:12:34.559 --> 00:12:40.320 Like, there was a lot of logic that got left out of the side off the side because this feeling was so overwhelming. 00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:44.399 I want to be with this person, I want to have this relationship. 00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:48.879 And they chased after a feeling, a feeling. 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:55.279 We've been given people, uh, we've given people motives for doing things that weren't true. 00:12:55.440 --> 00:13:00.159 We have had feelings that someone may be a good friend. 00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:05.840 We've had feelings that we're gonna win our game, our team last last week. 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:08.159 Feelings that they were gonna win. 00:13:08.399 --> 00:13:16.799 Our feelings are often wrong, our intuition doesn't always work, and in fact, your emotions can lead you down a blind alley. 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:20.559 You can't depend on everything you feel. 00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:25.519 And I'm telling you, you don't have to accept everything you feel. 00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:42.559 Start to learn how to step back from your feelings, recognize them, identify them, and step back and look at them, not realizing that they are going to be, they are always, or presume that they're always right. 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:45.440 Not everything you feel is reality. 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:57.679 Some people actually think that what people think about them is the fact that you have this feeling that someone's looking at you a certain way, and it's flat out wrong. 00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:10.080 I have I talk to people, um, we go out for dinner, or my wife and I sit for lunch with some families, and they're like, I said, why why aren't you at church? 00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:13.200 Why don't you just be a part of our community? 00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:17.519 And they're like, Well, we can't go because I go there and everyone's looking at me. 00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:19.120 I said, really? 00:14:19.519 --> 00:14:21.039 Everyone's looking at you. 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:26.399 And the fact is, people are more interested in what people are thinking about them, they're not even interested in you. 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:28.639 That's the reality of it. 00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:33.679 Is that they're more concerned about how they're feeling, they're not concerned about your feelings. 00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:47.360 And the fact is, people aren't always targeting you, but the feeling is there that I'm not gonna go to church because of this feelings, these feelings I have, and I have to break those feelings down. 00:14:47.519 --> 00:14:49.519 Listen, you don't you come. 00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:59.360 Come and and and let's step back from this and let's see how reliable your feelings are so that we can actually overcome this boundary. 00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:03.200 Some of the things you feel about other people are dead wrong. 00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:06.559 You have to gauge your feelings. 00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:16.960 Proverbs 14, 12 says this there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. 00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:26.480 The fact that we have to look at our feelings, and it seems like it'd be right, but in the end it's not gonna lead us in a right direction. 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:29.279 Reassess and assess those feelings. 00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:34.000 Your emotions are not infallible, only the word of the Lord is. 00:15:35.120 --> 00:15:37.360 What is the Lord saying through this? 00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:40.720 Just because you feel it doesn't make it true. 00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:45.039 Uh our feelings are often wrong and they can't be used as our guide. 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:47.279 Uh, my wife says this really well. 00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:51.919 She says, um, it's feelings are not your guide, they're just a gauge. 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:57.200 They're a gauge as to what you're feeling, but they shouldn't be your guide. 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:01.279 They should be your gauge, just to check your heart. 00:16:01.759 --> 00:16:05.600 Whenever I'm approaching people in different situations, just trying to dress. 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:07.039 Let's just step back. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:09.600 Let's not ask the question, how are you feeling? 00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:12.000 It's it's we'll get to that. 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:19.600 But first, let's step back and let's let's look at our feelings from uh a 30,000-foot approach. 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:20.639 Next. 00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:32.000 Second reason why you can't be controlled by your emotion, you need to manage your emotions, is that because you don't want to be manipulated. 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:36.559 If you don't control your emotions, they'll control you. 00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:41.440 And you will be manipulated by your moods or the effects on your moods. 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:46.399 If you're always guided by your feelings, you'll reject the the word of God. 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:53.600 Um marketers are really good at being able to exploit feelings. 00:16:55.440 --> 00:17:11.200 Um when you see, when you smell, when you taste, when you when you walk into a room, there's some some places when where you go, like how many of you, when you walk into a coffee shop and you smell that fresh coffee, it brings like a comfortable feeling to you. 00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:16.400 You're like, oh man, I just want a cup of coffee, I want to sit down, I want to just relax. 00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:22.640 You've got that feeling associated with that smell, you've got a feeling associated with that environment. 00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:31.839 They know how to approach your feelings, and oftentimes they want to use your feelings in order to exploit your pocketbook. 00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:55.440 So when you look at advertising, or you look at the world, or you look at where you're going in life, and and even the the Instagram or the Facebook or or any kind of advertising that's in front of you, they're trying to tell you something to get past your mental state and get to the place of your feeling state. 00:17:55.759 --> 00:18:10.960 Because if they can reach your feeling, if they can make you afraid that you actually need this product, whatever it is, then uh then they'll get your pocketbook and they'll get you to make that purchase. 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:18.400 So we need to work on how we look at our emotions, that our emotions realize that they can be manipulated. 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:21.359 Proverbs 25, 28 says this. 00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:30.559 It says, like an open city with no defenses is the person with no check on their feelings. 00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:42.480 And remember where the scripture is being written, it's written in an environment where uh people were protected by walls. 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:50.960 Cities had walls around those cities as guards to keep them safe, as boundaries to keep them safe. 00:18:51.279 --> 00:18:55.839 And what happened is those walls became their defense mechanism. 00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:07.759 Well, if you don't have your guard up, if you don't have a wall up in terms of just looking at your feelings, checking on your feelings, it's like you're living without walls. 00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:11.200 I I know what that's like. 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:19.039 I there have been times where, and I think about this quite often, you know, my wife is really good for me this way. 00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:23.759 She helps me check myself because I am a sucker for some things. 00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:25.680 I I just am. 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:39.359 I walk into Superstore the day after Halloween, and that mountain of candy bars is like 70% off. 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:45.039 And I'm like, man, that's a good deal. 00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:51.440 There's like you can get a box of 500 candy bars at 70% off. 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:57.839 And then I'm thinking, someone else goes and grabs one, and I'm like, oh man, there's like 200 there, someone grabs one. 00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:00.400 I'm like, I better get mine quick, right? 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:07.680 So you you wheel in your little buggy, you take one, and you walk away, and someone grabs another one. 00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:09.279 You're like, man, I've only got one. 00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:11.039 I better grab these quick. 00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:12.799 You grab another. 00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:16.000 Next thing you know, I've got some for Hershey's. 00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:30.319 I'm like, well, I could really use the like the Jolly Rancher types too, because, and maybe one for the kids and one for, and next thing you know, my whole buggy is loaded up with literally 30 pounds of sugar. 00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:35.680 And I walk in and I'm like, Natalie, you wouldn't believe the deal I got. 00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:39.680 I think I'm feeling good about this. 00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:44.480 And literally, it's like a Tupperware bin full of candy. 00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:46.319 I'm like, we're gonna use this forever. 00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:49.599 And she looks at me and she's like, You don't need that. 00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:53.599 And I was like, get the buy. 00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:58.079 Like, no, you don't need it. 00:20:58.319 --> 00:21:00.160 And I said, Well, I do need it. 00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:01.599 No, you don't need it. 00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:04.000 But my feelings were being manipulated. 00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:05.839 It's 70% off. 00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:08.400 I have to buy it. 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:09.839 This is the best deal. 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:12.319 I will never get a deal like this again. 00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:18.720 And so I'm buying this, all these chocolate bars, and and I find out I'm not the only one who eats them. 00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:31.119 But uh, but the the fact is that I was being manipulated by my feelings, and I had to check my feelings and go, like, do you really need what you're you're purchasing? 00:21:31.359 --> 00:21:42.319 Um, there was a a point in scripture where Jesus met with uh it was in a situation there where a woman who had been was caught in adultery. 00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:50.799 And when Jesus was invited into that situation, he was like, Well, Jesus, what should we do? 00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:52.559 And they were getting ready to stone her. 00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:59.759 They were getting ready to to kill her because she had violated the law, and everyone. 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:02.559 Everyone thought that what they were doing was right. 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:06.799 And Jesus had to stop them and say, you know what? 00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:08.319 I know that there's been betrayal. 00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:16.880 I know that there's been you're you're upset because this woman had broken the covenant with her husband and all these things. 00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:18.000 I know it's wrong. 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:20.160 But Jesus said, It's not right. 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:40.079 And people were so so astute in the fact that they thought that what they were going to do was right, that Jesus had to help them step back, and he he wrote in the stand, we don't know what he wrote, but he began to write, and he said, He who has who walks without sin, you can throw the first stone. 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:51.440 And people had to put down the stones because they realized when they stepped back from the situation, they realized that they were just as much a sinner as that individual who was on the ground there. 00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:54.880 That they too carried sin in their own heart. 00:22:55.039 --> 00:23:02.640 They too carried sin in their own life, and they were going to penalize someone else for being a sinner when they themselves were sinners. 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:08.319 And their feeling of craving judgment was may have been an impulse. 00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:10.720 It was a crowd mentality. 00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:12.799 Yes, stoner, stoner, stoner. 00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:14.079 Jesus, what should we do? 00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:16.640 Well, if you're without sin, go ahead. 00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:21.680 Throw the first stone if you're the one who hasn't sinned before. 00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:25.440 And the Bible says everyone dissipated. 00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:31.359 They left, they laid down their stones, they walked away because they realized that they too were with sin. 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:39.839 And Jesus, he looked on her and he says, ma'am, I go, go, you can leave, but sin no more. 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:43.039 In other words, I don't want you to continue doing it. 00:23:43.279 --> 00:23:48.640 Realize what you did too was also a sin, but I'm not here to condemn you. 00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:51.599 There's no one here to condemn you, and I don't condemn you. 00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:53.200 So go walk. 00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:57.839 And Jesus let her go with that commandment. 00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:11.359 If you don't know how to manage your emotions, you're helpless against the enemy because the enemy will use emotions and use negative emotions to wear you down and to keep you in bondage. 00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:18.559 So he'll use bitterness, he'll use envy, he'll use jealousy and anxiety to keep you from growing in God. 00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:22.640 Number three, emotions can please God. 00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:23.599 I love this. 00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:28.079 The Bible says this worship the Lord with gladness. 00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:29.279 That's right. 00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:31.440 Worship the Lord with gladness. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:37.759 Church should be a place where we bring our emotion to God and we say, God, I'm glad I'm here. 00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:41.920 I was glad when they said to me, Let us go to the house of the Lord. 00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:46.079 I was glad when they said to me, We're gonna worship together. 00:24:46.400 --> 00:24:47.759 We're gonna come together. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:49.440 There was love in the house. 00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:58.880 Even the disciples and the Christians were known for their love for one another, towards one another, and it pleased God. 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:02.079 Our emotions, we can use them. 00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:09.440 We can manage our emotions when we when we manage the emotions, we can actually use our emotions to please God. 00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:16.720 When we were singing these songs and we were clapping our hands and we were shouting to God, that pleases God. 00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:21.440 The Bible says God inhabits the praise of his people. 00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:26.400 Praise doesn't just come from here, praise comes from here also. 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:31.519 It's a combination, it's spirit and truth, it's worship to God. 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:35.759 I'm gonna praise God with all that's inside of me. 00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:40.799 That's how we can manage our emotions to actually bring God praise. 00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:48.960 So when the church comes together, it should be, man, this place should be alive, alive with emotion. 00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:57.039 And I love it when I hear the church singing and praising God together and loud in our expression of worship. 00:25:57.359 --> 00:25:59.200 Emotions are healthy. 00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:08.960 Healthy, it's healthy to be in a emotionally managed, to not be controlled by your mood, controlled by your feelings. 00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:19.680 It is that difference, like I said last week, between your IQ and your EQ, your emotional quotient where you where you actually are stable in your emotions. 00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:26.480 Your emotions aren't going to lead you uh to a place where you become unhealthy. 00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:31.359 Um stress is a difficult thing. 00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:33.599 How many of you have ever experienced stress? 00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:47.920 Like stress where you've got like you feel like you've got someone sitting on your chest, or where you put your head on the pillow and you hear your heart pounding through your how many of you have heard that, you're like, why is my heart pounding so hard? 00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:53.599 It's the stress that's in your life that is keeping you up. 00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:59.359 That doctors and physicians have said that stress is a killer. 00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:08.880 Your body was not meant to carry that kind of stress, the kind of stress load that we often consider normal. 00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:18.240 We have to look at ways of actually realizing our recognizing our body, realizing what's healthy for us and unhealthy for us. 00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:24.400 Certain things we're capable of taking on, certain things we're incapable of taking on. 00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:33.599 My grandfather was a very, very sense, both of my grandfathers were, but on my mom's side, my grandpa Carl was a very sensitive man. 00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:34.960 He was very soft. 00:27:35.039 --> 00:27:38.960 He was like, boy, he had a budgie, a little budgie bird. 00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:42.400 His dog was like this big, not even a real dog, really. 00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:46.160 It's like he loved these animals. 00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:58.480 He he you know, he almost cried when, you know, at the end of a baseball game where they do a dog pile, he when the guy at the bottom and then all the people jump on top, you know, it's uh what do you call it? 00:27:58.640 --> 00:27:59.279 A dog pile? 00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:00.000 That's what it is. 00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:01.839 Why do they call it a dog pile? 00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:03.680 This it's just a weird word. 00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:10.079 And uh, but they started, they he was so he's like, we can't, we gotta stop watching this. 00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:10.799 This is ridiculous. 00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:12.160 What about the guy on the bottom? 00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:14.319 He was really emotional about it. 00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:22.000 And he just, in the army, he couldn't, he became a cook, he made pancakes because he couldn't. 00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:32.640 They gave him a bayonet on the end of his barrel, and they went to to try and like stab these sacks of uh burlap, and he just got sick. 00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:34.799 He'd do it and he'd just get sick. 00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:37.680 And they're like, Well, you you're good for the kitchen. 00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:40.400 It's a good strategy, you know. 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:42.480 I'll just make food. 00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:44.720 But he was sensitive. 00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:52.720 He understood his senses, he understood what made so he knew what to do with his emotions. 00:28:52.799 --> 00:28:55.119 He knew what was healthy and unhealthy. 00:28:55.359 --> 00:29:01.440 He didn't watch certain things, he guarded his thoughts, he guarded what he saw, he guarded what he listened to. 00:29:01.599 --> 00:29:05.839 He didn't, he turned off the TV when he needed to turn off the TV. 00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:10.400 He shut down social media when you need to shut it down. 00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:14.319 He stopped talking about certain things if it felt like it was becoming heavy on him. 00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:19.279 He went back to the Word of God every morning to reset his emotion. 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:21.839 Emotional health is very important. 00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:24.640 Do you know how to manage your mood? 00:29:24.799 --> 00:29:27.279 Do you know how to control your emotions? 00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:29.119 It's very important. 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:33.920 Um, so how do we deal with emotions when they come? 00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:37.200 How do you deal with the ones that you don't want? 00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:39.599 The emotions that you don't want. 00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:43.279 The first thing you need to do is you need to name it. 00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:47.279 If you're taking notes today, name it. 00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:49.359 Name your emotion. 00:29:49.599 --> 00:29:52.960 What is it that you are actually feeling? 00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:55.839 Actually feeling. 00:29:56.000 --> 00:29:59.519 If you don't know what the problem is, then you can't work on it. 00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:02.160 You need to identify your feelings. 00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:05.200 We're really good at being able to tell people what we do. 00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:09.119 We're not very good at asking people how they feel. 00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:13.279 Hey, how are you feeling today? 00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:14.880 How are you feeling today? 00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:17.359 And people, you know what their response is often? 00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:18.480 Good. 00:30:19.039 --> 00:30:20.640 That's not a feeling. 00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:22.400 That's a state. 00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:27.519 It's a it's a space of where you are at. 00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:30.480 It's not like an actual definitive feeling. 00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:33.119 What feeling are you feeling today? 00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:34.319 Name it. 00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:40.319 It's uh you have to get into that root issue, that root area. 00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:43.519 What is the real problem of what you're feeling? 00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:49.200 Name the name the emotion that you're feeling that's unwanted. 00:30:49.359 --> 00:30:57.200 Uh David said this, he said in Psalms 55, he said, My thoughts are restless and I'm confused. 00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:02.400 Sometimes you can just say, How are you feeling? 00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:04.079 I'm feeling confused. 00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:07.279 That's okay. 00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:09.200 It's okay to feel confused. 00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:15.839 David felt confused, people feel confused, but at least you're identifying that feeling. 00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:19.359 David said, Listen, my thoughts, everything's coming at me. 00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:20.720 I don't know what to do. 00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:22.400 I feel confused. 00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:25.759 Confusion is a state of emotion. 00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:32.240 To become an emotionally strong person, an emotionally strong woman, ask these two questions. 00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:35.039 Start with this what am I feeling? 00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:37.279 What am I really feeling? 00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:46.720 And and that's the first question because what you think you're feeling is often not uh really your real feeling. 00:31:47.599 --> 00:32:02.079 Like I can feel upset and angry, but really the fact is I'm angry because of all the things that are going on in my life, and I feel actually overwhelmed. 00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:06.559 Oh, being overwhelmed is different than feeling angry. 00:32:09.759 --> 00:32:27.359 The response may be an anger, like, oh, I snap at somebody, or I or I shoot a shoot a quick glance at someone that's not healthy, or or uh I don't know how else to say it, not nice and uh mean. 00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:31.440 And the but the thing is I'm just being overwhelmed, and I have to stop back. 00:32:31.519 --> 00:32:33.759 Well, why am I being overwhelmed? 00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:37.279 Well, I've got this and this and this and this going on. 00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:47.519 All right, well, then let's look at that, work on it, or address like, are these really that difficult in terms of issues that you can face and you can deal with and you can address? 00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:49.039 Does it have to be addressed now? 00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:50.559 Can it wait until later? 00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:53.920 Deal naming it is very important. 00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:56.960 It's the first step to actually moving forward. 00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:07.519 If I don't name it and I just continue to snap in it and I bring it home, I begin to transfer it to another part of who I my life. 00:33:08.079 --> 00:33:19.599 I bring it into my home, I bring it into my marriage, I bring it into my relationship with my kids, I bring it into my friendships, I bring it into my office, I bring it with me where I go. 00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:22.400 The first thing we need to do is name it. 00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:24.720 And realize what are you feeling? 00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:28.640 The second question you ask is this what are my triggers? 00:33:29.839 --> 00:33:39.200 If I were to ask you to name, and this is always fun when I go out for Natalie and I have a like a Wednesday morning date time. 00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:41.839 Aw, that's good, hey. 00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:56.400 Oftentimes it gets interrupted, but um, but someone uh from the church came by while we were having coffee this last week, and uh they just came in. 00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:58.559 We were having this real discussion. 00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:02.480 And our discussion, this was the question I asked her. 00:34:03.119 --> 00:34:10.079 If I were to ask you to name the emotion that gives you the most trouble in your life, would you be able to name it? 00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:11.840 And what is it? 00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:17.760 You can write that down, you can use that the next time you go on a date. 00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:20.159