Beyond Youth Homelessness - Shaun

In this episode of Beyond Homelessness: Conversations That Matter, we meet Shaun, who shares his lived experience of youth homelessness and the journey that followed. Through his story, we explore what happens when young people are misunderstood by the systems and people around them at the very time they need support the most.

Shaun reflects on becoming homeless at 16, navigating complex family dynamics, and living with ADHD and ASD in environments that didn’t fully understand or respond to his needs. He speaks about feeling unseen and judged, and how this shaped his early experiences of homelessness.

His story also highlights the turning points that came through connection, support, and community. Shaun shares how finding safety, belonging, and purpose helped him begin to move forward and rebuild his life.

Shaun’s experience reminds us that youth homelessness is not a choice, and challenges us to consider how we can better listen, respond, and support young people facing adversity.

Thank you for listening and for joining us as we continue working toward a future where youth homelessness does not exist.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

This episode contains discussions about homelessness, hardship, and personal struggles, which may be sensitive or triggering for some listeners. Our goal is to share real stories with honesty and respect. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know need support, please reach out to local resources. See in our bio for links. Welcome to the Beyond Homelessness Podcast, a series that shares the stories of young people who have experienced homelessness and those who work within the system designed to support them. Beyond Homelessness is a platform for young people to be heard, to tell stories that inspire, to have a voice at the table and see themselves represented. We believe that stories are a form of magic, that they can create new worlds, convey emotions, and inspire ideas. The stories you will hear in this series not only demonstrate the strength and resilience of the people sharing them, but will also get you thinking about viewpoints beyond your own and challenge you to consider the change that needs to take place in order to build a future where youth homelessness does not exist. Well, hello and welcome everyone to another episode of the Beyond Youth Homelessness Podcast. It is great to have you here today. I'm your host, Matt, and joining us for today's episode is Sean. Welcome, Sean.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Hello.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

It's great to have you, mate. I really appreciate you sharing your time and your story with us today.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

It's good to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yeah, great. Um now, Sean, you and I got introduced through Kaz, uh, our amazing fundraiser and partnership um manager here at Project Youth, who you've um worked with over the years. Um, she was super keen for me to meet you, and we got the opportunity to sit down and um you shared with me your experience of homelessness, how it started at the age of 16, um, and that after being supported by other housing programs, you got connected in with Project Youth over a decade ago. Um, so it's been a hot minute. Um, and during that time, you you talked to me um and shared your story about some of the challenges and the wins that you faced as you navigated your experience of homelessness, things like family dynamics, um, your having ADHD and ASD, um, building social connections, some of those constructive, some of those maybe not so. Um, and also trying to find a sense of purpose to kind of keep you moving in the right direction. And the thing that really stood out to me in that time when you and I got to sit down and chat was I really appreciated the perspective that you provided as someone whose experience of homelessness was kind of some years ago, and you're able to kind of speak with this very special hindsight. Um, so really excited for everyone to hear from you today and the different aspects of your journey, the challenges you face, the people you met, and the lessons you learned. But I guess one of the things that I'm I'm interested in, just to kind of get us started, is as someone who has been away from Project Youth from a number of years now, um, what is it that kind of keeps having you come back and keep that connection with this organization?

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Um, I guess it's a community what you guys have. You've got such a wide network of support. You've got men right here where we are, and you've got, you know, down at Miranda? Yep. There's stuff the staff here are lovely. I've always gotten on, they've always had a different sort of perspective. You know, I've been through quite a different quite a different few organizations and Project Youth quite stand out for me.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Yeah. Beautiful. What what do you think it is? Like if you can you put your finger on it? Is it I mean sometimes?

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Yeah, nice. The care factor and yeah, it's just you know, the the networks there.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Yeah, beautiful. Listen, I've got to admit, like, I'm pretty proud to work for an organization where I feel like everyone has kind of skin in the game. Um, so yeah, I've I definitely I'll second that. Like I definitely love the people who work here and I definitely think that they care. Um, well, listen, there is so much that I'm keen to hear um from you, your experiences and insights as someone who has navigated the system. Um so if you're ready, let's let's get into it. So, Sean, as I said earlier, um, your experience of homelessness kind of started around the age of 16. And when you and I had the opportunity to sit down and you shared your story, there was a I guess a sense of people not really seeing you or knowing what was going on for you at that time. And so to kick us off with question one, I guess what I want to ask is how did people's misunderstandings or misperceptions of you or your circumstances impact or or play a part in in your experience of homelessness?

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Yes, that's a good question. It starts with my family being at home with you know how my father is being alcoholic, my mum being as strict as she is, was hard enough as that was on its own. And then you bring in you've got behavior issues, ADHD. I don't didn't understand it myself, let alone my my mother trying to understand that.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

And so, you know, through those struggles, mum couldn't handle it, and then so she's made the choice to kick me out of home. And you know, amongst all of that, there's there's friends and family, there's the school that's got involved. I was staying in a tent just down the road from a friend's house, and you know, he was kind enough to offer a shower and you know, just a breakfast before we went off to school. And I did that for a little while, and it was all right, you know, get into movement of things, going to school, just sort of trying to escape from that reality. Yeah, and then yeah, the school sort of got wind of things, and you know, they tried to help. They were talking about, you know, it was a big meeting in the office with you know the principal, the higher-ups, and it's a bit much, you know, for a young bloke going through stuff. Feels intimidating, yeah. Have I done something wrong? What's going on here? Yeah, yeah, man. And they were saying, you know, where we can offer you a shower because they were talking about hygiene, and that kind of hit a bone with me. And I made the choice, and though it was either, you know, you've got to try and find a home or or a stable accommodation and get your hygiene. And it was, you know, to me, it didn't feel like they were helping. They were just it felt like they were pushing me out in a way. And so God bless my nan. She contacted my mother after hearing about it, and I'd made the choice not to go to school, and she'd reached out and said, You're welcome to come up here. There's a boys' school up the road, and you know, I'll look after you. And for the year nine in that school, it was quite normal. I had a home, I had a loving home actually for the first time. And then bouncing through classes and just loving life. Yeah. Um, yeah, then you know, Nan couldn't sort of do stuff anymore. She had the pressure of our family on on her, and they didn't want me there, they didn't trust me. It was, you know, a whole thing. Which correlates with being homelessness, and you know, you can't trust someone that's homeless because of what they look like. Yeah. Or, you know, the stereotype. Yeah. So that didn't last too long. And so I've migrated towards uh North Sydney. Um yeah, so going from my ends and then down towards North Sydney to Talamundi, that was another tipping point for me because it was like a new location, a different world, and there was so much. Well, for me, it felt like there was so much opportunities to sort of progress.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Yeah, I mean, I there are so many things that I'm hearing in that that are absolutely like misconceptions and people not really understanding what is needed in in a moment. Um obviously, like can appreciate that. Um, you know, I mean, being a teenager is hard at the best of times, right? Like we're all just trying to figure out who we are, like trying to find our place in the world. Trying to find our place in the world, you know, what is what's good, what's not, what's working for me, what's not. Um, and like find me a teenager who does that seamlessly, and like I'd be surprised. I I definitely didn't. I can fully understand that for yourself, you know, you add another element of, you know, some challenges at home that I can only imagine would come with having a dad struggling with alcohol use, um, having ADHD and and and having that in in an environment where maybe your parents weren't understanding what was going on and and how to help you navigate what was going on, you know, there's a lot of misunderstanding there. And that's really hard. And then for the school to kind of be like, oh yeah, well, we notice that something's going on, but actually the thing that we want to care about the most is hygiene and are you showering? Which sure, like, hey, that's that's good, but like it's probably not what you needed in that moment.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

I feel like they could have approached that situation a bit better coming from an education, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Absolutely. What do you need to be able to show up as the best version of yourself in class today? Because it may not be a shower, it might be, you know, just a little bit of leeway around whether or not homework's done, or, you know, a little bit of, you know, if if my uniform isn't fully tucked in or perfect, like that's okay. So it seems like maybe people weren't asking questions, they were more kind of making decisions for you.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Yeah, which is really hard. And how do you, I don't know, as a young person in that moment, was it was that obvious to you that people weren't understanding you? Like, was there a part of you that wanted to kind of go, hey, you guys actually aren't getting that? Or is that something that, you know, years down the road you're able to look back on and go, oh, like I now see that that was happening?

SPEAKER_00 11:21

Ignorance is bliss, man. Yeah. I feel no, I don't think I look back on it at all, but just trying to navigate that in that moment, I just felt so misunderstood. Like no one even seen me for who I was. They were just more worried about me stinking up with the next person. Like it just made no sense to me, man.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Yeah. And I can imagine that it that would feel quite powerless in that moment. Um and you know, how are you meant to how are you meant to navigate the experience of homelessness when I guess when the people who were who are meant to support you in that are kind of creating more challenges, would you say? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Yeah. It puts up barriers and you know, you you think you're doing all right, and then that happens and it's just like it adds another layer.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Yeah. Yeah. And did you feel like you were able to say that in that moment?

SPEAKER_00 12:29

No.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

No, no, it wasn't like a conversation.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Um it felt like an authority, and I was like I was in trouble almost, like you said.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Which is like I mean, you'd hope that things have changed um over the years, but yeah, how do you how do you how does one like speak about what they need when when the power in the room is kind of saying this is what we need from you? Kind of seems like a wrong.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

Because you just feel so little, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Yeah, absolutely. I feel that. But I know that that wasn't, you know, it didn't end there. You kind of spoke about, you know, you jumped around some refuges, and then you did find yourself kind of engaging with Project Youth. And I guess this is going to lead us into our second question. So I might jump into that. So, Sean, as we were talking, you spoke about then your time kind of coming to one of the refuges with Project Youth. It's how you kind of entered into um this organization, and that that was a real kind of turning point. And this is not a free plug, but like this is your story. This is not me planting it there. But it really spoke, um, you know, I think it started a stage in your journey around where you found purpose and what motivated you to kind of move forward, which is ultimately what my second question is. Where did you draw motivation and purpose um from as you kind of navigated homelessness? And how did that impact change in your life?

SPEAKER_00 14:33

So before I went to Pennies, I just want to backtrack leading up to that. Um, so I was down in Mount Druid. I'd had a girlfriend at the time, and we were living sort of, I think it was at a parent's house, like living together for the last probably a year at that point. And so we we had a child on the way, and it was, you know, a big thing for me. Like it's 17, I think it was. Like, I'm not ready to be a dad. Yeah, that was massive. So, you know, I'd I she wasn't a fit mother, she was really mentally ill, and you know, a lot of issues there that she needed to work on, and I'd exited that relationship and was doing my best to do everything I can to be the best father, you know, sort of just getting my own place and a and a room for him, you know, and a steady job. I was working in Wethrill Park powder coating, and this is gonna get a bit dark. It's up to you, mate. Afterwards, about eight eight months into the pregnancy where she would have been sort of ready to go, I get a call from a friend. Not really a friend, but I recognise the name and I'm like, okay, this is weird. I answer it. And it's one of her friends saying that she's just taking like as many drugs as she could, like MD, whatever, just to try and kill this baby. And like, you know, that shocked me. I didn't know. And she was successful. So yeah, that was not good. That was a dark time in my life. I can imagine shock. Yeah, sorry. That's okay, but the reason I mention all that is that was when I reached out towards Project Youth and they'd actually offered me a place to live. And you know, through all that dark time and that space, it it gave me a bit of hope. Moving there, just going and and having a reason to pack my bags and to just go somewhere was enough for me to just feel a bit more happy with my life, that there was a bit of a purpose, you know. And the moment I turned up at Project Youth down at there in Pennies, just opening that door, seeing that room, it was like this this wave came over me of relief, and just I felt safe, you know. The staff member that was there just, you know, sort of gave me the rundown of the rules and whatever, and it just let me be. And not many other refugees had done it that way. And for me, just having that just let them sort of have their space was massive.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Yeah. It's that moment of kind of and we've spoken about this before on the podcast with other people's stories, where you know, uh being in a refuge, it's a short-term program. And so you kind of have to in some ways hit the ground running. Like you move in, and it's like, okay, let's set up your goals, let's let's work towards them, let's achieve this.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

And there is that push as well, but some people can see it as a bad way, but I've I always seen it as it's a push for you. You sometimes you need that push.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Absolutely, but I think what you're speaking about, which is equally as important, is that moment of pause and rest. Um, you know, particularly for yourself coming from such a hard experience and a challenging one, to just it sounds like it was really significant to kind of just be given some space where you were safe. It was your space, your room, um, and you knew that you you had somewhere to be, to be to be still and to just kind of take a moment for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Yeah, man, it was one of the best sort of you know feelings I've had in a while, especially after going through all that. Um yeah, just sitting on sitting on that bed, man. I just sat there looking at my phone and just had a moment and realized that yeah, I was safe and that was that was that for a moment.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

I remember you also sharing that um it was during this time that you kind of started to feel a part of a community and that that was also a really significant kind of uh change for you. Can you talk more about that?

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Yeah, I mean Penny's had a really good I mean for the people you get there, the people there were really social and you know, but we were going out as a youth refuge doing functions, you know, going out to the beach and sort of getting that connection with the the community. You know, I made some good friends and I still speak to a couple today and that that community vibe was a lot to do with bringing bringing out my bringing out myself.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Which is beautiful because I think, you know, part of the story that you were sharing before in in the first question was um people not really understanding you and kind of what was going on for you and um I guess some of the things that you were navigating. And it sounds like this community was one of the first times where it was like, oh, I could just be me. And rather than it be seen as an issue or a problem, I'm seen as someone who is welcomed and safe and secure.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

And accepted, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yeah, that's powerful. And I mean, connection is such a big part of who we are as people. And of course, as we experience homelessness, sometimes those connections can be harder to make because we've got to move around so much.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

I can feel alienated. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

I remember as we were talking as well, you you shared a part of of your journey where you had kind of you'd been you had some housing, but you weren't working, and you kind of just felt a bit dissatisfied with how things were going for yourself and you needed a change. Um and you kind of you made a change that I think many people would see as a big one, um, particularly city people would see as a big change. Um, but it made a huge impact on your life. Can you talk to me about that?

SPEAKER_00 20:55

That would have been when I was in uh the long-term housing down in Hurst.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

So you'd moved through crisis accommodation into transitional housing. Yeah. Yeah. And then I guess you were looking for the next the next step, and this is what you found.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

I mean, at that point, Project Youth has sort of done as much as they can for me, and I was at that stage where I was ready to face the world, I guess you could say, have my own rental and stuff. And yeah, I was, I was, you know, you know, right, just at home living life and just getting bored of doing the same thing, not really working, and didn't have a sense of purpose, you know. Yeah. And Karen at Project Youth, she'd um got in contact with uh another organization fair way out of Sydney. I think it's about seven hours away. And um just a small drive, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so she'd reached out and said, Look, there's this opportunity here. They're after a trainee, and I think this would be really good for you. And you know, Karen and I have been still in contact all these years. If she hadn't made that push, I don't think I would have made that decision. Which turned out to be probably one of the best decisions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

So what was the program?

SPEAKER_00 22:12

It was a backtrack youth organization in Armadale. Yeah. They orient around youth crime, trying to prevent youth crime. They have their own sort of program based around dogs. And they have a work side of things where they they um have employers go out with the kids and teach them life skills, and that's where I came in to just help teach the kids sort of thing. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Really wholesome work. But man, the move up there was massive. I'll bet. Like my whole life in Sydney, just you know, all my friends, my network, family even contacted everything in Sydney to just sort of drop that, jump in the car and drive 70 hours away. Yeah. To start this new thing. It was, yeah. I mean a lot of what I tell a lot of people is that it was hard and it was, you know, it was rough, but from reality, it was just a lot of head games. Yeah. Mind games trying to figure out why it was an issue and sort of realizing that it wasn't and it was what I needed. The main thing that drove me to get there though was my craving to help people further and sort of do well in a community. And it's what I did at Backtrack. When I went to Backtrack within the first year, we were doing flood recovery work, you know, helping out communities in such a massive way. It may have only been fencing, but the difference we made in the community was what made it worth it. You know, you're you're sitting down at the fire at the end of the day with your crew and the workers, you've got the community coming around just to show appreciation. We never really got that. And it's it's such a nice feeling just to see how happy these people are from what we've done.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Nice. And so you were out there for I think it was nearly three years, maybe which, like for so many people, would have been such a drastic change. But for you, it was it was really like you kind of tapped into something that really kind of spurred you on.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

I mean, country's always been my calling. A half-raised city, half-raised country, I guess you could say.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

So almost it was like going back home in a way.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Yeah, and it always does feel like going back home, the country.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

And I think what's so what I've heard so many times in in hearing um so many stories through the podcast is like when you are experiencing homelessness, it it is hard to kind of consider what comes next. But it sounds like for you, you know, having gone through the refuges and then entered into transitional and kind of being at that space where you were you were given the opportunity through the support that you had received to really consider, okay, well, what do I what do I want to do? What's gonna what am I gonna get the most out of, which kind of allowed this opportunity to step into this program that seemed so fulfilling for you for so many years?

SPEAKER_00 25:27

I mean, I definitely wouldn't have got there without the support, man. Like I remember being at Hurstville with the Hurstville Project Youth when they were first opening up. We were doing a garden out the back, and that day I I was actually really not doing okay, and just generally needed to be somewhere just to sort of get away from it. And just having a little program like that to sort of to go to was really helpful, man. You know, and later on in that week they had a cooking class. I've still follow some of the people there that were there that day. It just gives you a reason to sort of get out of bed and give you a purpose. Yeah. You know, whereas if you're say you're homeless, you're you know, you're not motivated, you're not doing anything, you just sort of stay in that rut.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

And I remember you saying like you kind of, you know, when you're experiencing homelessness, you're in this fight or flight um mentality. Like it's it's very much survival mode. How are you meant to kind of take a moment to to kind of go, well, but what like you know, ask the big questions of life, like what what is going to give me purpose? It's it's hard in that moment. Um but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

If that even that thought comes open, you know, like because for a while there, especially with bouncing from refugees, there is that overhead of oh, I can only be here for three moms. Yeah, you know, and that's a big thing. That was you know, a big sort of anxiety thing for me, I remember. Yeah. But you know, the support's there, and most of the time, you know, if you you're doing well, you may not even need the three moms. Yeah, but it just depends on I guess availability. I'm not sure what it's like now.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Listen, it's still tricky, but I think you know, you're tapping into something that I think is so important for you know, maybe people who haven't experienced homelessness or don't know someone who's experienced homelessness, a really important uh perspective for them to hear, which is um it it does take a bit of a village to kind of help a a young person um look beyond their current experience of homelessness. Um they need, you know, I guess for you what I'm hearing is you you received a space, a place to call home that was safe. You received support, you had an organization that gave you, you know, connection, community, um, opportunities to kind of participate, that gave you a sense of purpose. All of this kind of played a part in driving you forward. Um, and I think so many people, you made the comment to me um where you know it's like, hey, homelessness is not a choice. Um, and I think sometimes people think that it's a you know, that people just need to choose to not be homeless. It's like, no, no, like there's a lot going on for someone in that moment, and and it does. It will it takes a village of people willing to kind of step up and step in and and um participate together to to see someone through.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

I mean, a lot of excuse me, my my battle, I guess, speaking on misunderstanding again was you know, just walking out in the normal world, you don't feel a part of it, you know, and you just you notice people looking at you in a certain way and you're walking around, and it's not a good place, especially, you know, thinking back on the social network I had back in the day, you know, a lot of those people they either didn't understand or they just refused to see that side and just seen it as an excuse, you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Yeah, absolutely. Well, how about we get into our third and final question? Right, Sean. Third and final question, and this is something that we ask everyone. Um, and I'm always uh I always love hearing people's kind of different flavour to how they answer this question. Um, but in your mind, what does a future where youth homelessness does not exist look like?

SPEAKER_00 29:59

More resources. You know, a lot my struggles going through trying to find housing was just you know, waiting lists. You know, going to going to housing and sort of signing up with a bit of hope that there might be a house to hear that oh yeah, no, there's a five-year waiting list. Yeah. Resources, I feel like definitely is a big key in that. There's not enough funding.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Yeah. I remember you saying like when it came to that, and and you know, you went and asked for support, and the answer was, oh yeah, you've got a like we've got a one year, two year, five year waiting list. Your response was kind of like, but like I'm homeless now.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Like yeah. What what what does that do for me now? It doesn't do anything.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Absolutely. A big sense of it as well as a community trying to partake in, you know, helping everything. Yeah. Project youth's good at that. They've definitely got a massive community, but you know, to solve it, I guess, yeah, it would be resources.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Yeah. And again, I guess that ties back to what we were talking about just before in question two. Like, it was when you had a village that it really, it seemed like momentum was able to be built for you in moving forward. And so I don't know, maybe as you're talking about like we need community involvement. It's it's we need the village, like we need the village to really pick up and get involved because um that's what people need rather than doing this by themselves.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Yeah, I mean, I see a lot of online hate towards it when it could just be, you know, well, what can we do as a community? Instead of seeing it as such a negative thing, try and turn it around.

SPEAKER_01 31:49

Yeah. Absolutely. Which brings us back to what we were talking about before, those misunderstandings, miss uh conceptions. Um, some people seem to need to be taught about the experience of homelessness, which I guess is what this podcast is is all about.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

Raising that awareness.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Yeah, 100%. Um, which is why, you know, I'm so appreciative of people like yourself, Sean, sharing your story, being vulnerable, um, so that others can can hear and learn and and be inspired to to step up, to step in and and be a part of a future where youth homelessness doesn't exist.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

There is always hope, and there will be moments where it doesn't feel like it. My advice, just hang in there, man.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Yeah, it's good advice. Well, Sean, thank you so much for being a part of the podcast. Really appreciate you coming in today and and sharing your story with us.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

No worries, man. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

The Beyond Homelessness podcast is brought to you by Project Youth, a community-based charity serving the young people of the Sutherland Shire and St. George area in Sydney, Australia. It is a series about young people, told by young people and produced by young people. By listening today, you have supported the training and employment pathways for young people who are involved in the production of the podcast. Project Youth seeks to create a future where youth homelessness does not exist. If you'd like to know more about the work of Project Youth, the stories of the young people we support, or find ways in which you can be involved, head to our website at projectyouth.org.au or follow us on social media. See the bio for links.