Singles Partners Marrieds Long Time Marrieds Podcast
Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options; to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual.
Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two morals, two values. And that is a formula for destruction” - Dr Myles Munro
“[It] is [also] the place of our healing. So don’t leave it too quickly” - Dr Creflo Dollar
You are destined to repeat the issues with a new partner. So, work it through with this partner, to better understand self; then you are in a better place to make an informed decision whether to stay or leave.
So, let’s begin our work together to detoxify the issues and get you closer to your abundant life living - bringing colour back to life - without Shame.
Here are some of the topics covered in the programme: “An Eclectic mix” of counselling and psychotherapy models. Those models include psychodynamic, Systemic, CBT, EMDR, EFT, Gottman, how the past has its tentacles in our present and is affecting our future; moving as much issues from the unseen (the unconscious); better understanding of Shame, Anger, Attachment, Addictions, Trauma, Grief/loss, Narcissism, Depression. (Trauma is the internal wound).
Not quickly, but by small incremental steps, not big leaps; neural pathways; Childhood development; The brain does not like pain; Childhood development can throw up a lot of clues if you go looking; Connecting with the unfinished business of childhood - which holds the keys to the adult behaviours - means finding and re-nurturing the child in you; recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction; equipped to become the author of your new destiny. Your future; Get knowledge. Get understanding.
Then reclaim your life; bring about change – over time, on the way to your recovery.
Gary McFarlane of The Kairos Centre launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together his experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 23 years and a few books written on the subjects. (Visit www.kairos-centre.com).
Key words: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice, Marriage Tips, Couples Therapy, Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution in Marriage, Conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Marriage Communication, Building Trust in Relationships, intimacy in Marriage, Marriage Recovery, Sex in Relationships, Sex in Marriage, Sex not working, Sex dysfunction, Sex problems, Attachment issues in relationship, Childhood issues in relationship, Marriage Counsellor, Marriage Counselling, Couples counselling, Singles and issues
Singles Partners Marrieds Long Time Marrieds Podcast
What's love got to do with it
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Love me in five ways: (See my Book - The Art of Loving)
Most of us operate out of emotional love. Our love is conditional. Loving self comes first. If you do not love yourself, it is not possible to love someone with the high level of love you think you have for them. It is deception to think that we do love our partner, whilst not really able to say that we love our self. Learn to love yourself first. Individual counselling may be necessary to help you on the journey.
Learn to love and then learn the art of practising love. Learn it well and then spend a lifetime discipline, maintaining and perfecting it as your love affair.
We know that the English word love is much over used. We use it for loving a meal as we do for loving our partner, the pet or ice cream. Using one word in that manner is a recipe for misunderstanding and certainly lacks precision in what we are trying to express.
We can compare that to the way the word love is broken down and used in the Greek language. Historically the Greek language used at least five words precisely and quite distinctly to describe the various facets of love.
By looking at each of those different word descriptions we can build up the identifying features of all the components that the word love should contain and demonstrate in all healthy, progressive and fulfilling relationships. Those five words for love are Epithumia, Eros, Phileo, Storge and Agape.
Every couple’s love life should have all five facets of these aspects of love. Each is distinct, but inter- related and overlap. Each reinforces the other.
EPITHUMIA: (The sexual love): Epithumia is a strong desire - of any kind. It is a longing for something or someone. It is to set one’s heart or desire upon. It has components of coveting and to lust after. It can be strong lustful and physical sexual desire.
EROS: (Romance): Eros has been corrupted by the English word “erotic”. Eros is the driver for the romance in the relationship. Sometimes sensual, it is the desire and feeling of wanting to be together and yearning to unite.
Eros is romantic, passionate and sentimental. It is the driver which causes lovers to write love poetry, love notes and give pet names to each other. It only keeps working as long as there is reciprocation and we can see benefits.
STORGE: (Security): Storge is a most valuable and expensive gift. It is a relationship which will always be there for you, despite being rejected by others; a safe place/haven. It is the need (which we all have) to belong or to be a part of a close knit system with people who care, are loyal and sincere. It is a relationship which provides emotional refuge from a world which can be cold, harsh and hard.
PHILEO: (Fellowship/Friendship): Phileo is the love one feels for a cherished friend of either sex. This love is conditional and is reactive to what it sees in the other. It is a love which cherishes and has tender affection for the beloved, but always expects a response.
AGAPE: (Unconditional): Agape is the fifth of our five loves. At some point in a relationship, we may be tested harshly indeed by a crisis. Perhaps for a longer period than we could have imagined or expected we have tried to love the unlovable. We are starkly face to face with a situation of “for better or for worse”. Unlovable traits show up in the partner. The toll on you has already been great.
Agape is the totally unselfish love that has the capacity to give and keep on giving without a reciprocal return. That is just too tall an order.
Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.
Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.
Episod