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Singles Partners Marrieds Long Time Marrieds Podcast
Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options; to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual.
Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two morals, two values. And that is a formula for destruction” - Dr Myles Munro
“[It] is [also] the place of our healing. So don’t leave it too quickly” - Dr Creflo Dollar
You are destined to repeat the issues with a new partner. So, work it through with this partner, to better understand self; then you are in a better place to make an informed decision whether to stay or leave.
So, let’s begin our work together to detoxify the issues and get you closer to your abundant life living - bringing colour back to life - without Shame.
Here are some of the topics covered in the programme: “An Eclectic mix” of counselling and psychotherapy models. Those models include psychodynamic, Systemic, CBT, EMDR, EFT, Gottman, how the past has its tentacles in our present and is affecting our future; moving as much issues from the unseen (the unconscious); better understanding of Shame, Anger, Attachment, Addictions, Trauma, Grief/loss, Narcissism, Depression. (Trauma is the internal wound).
Not quickly, but by small incremental steps, not big leaps; neural pathways; Childhood development; The brain does not like pain; Childhood development can throw up a lot of clues if you go looking; Connecting with the unfinished business of childhood - which holds the keys to the adult behaviours - means finding and re-nurturing the child in you; recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction; equipped to become the author of your new destiny. Your future; Get knowledge. Get understanding.
Then reclaim your life; bring about change – over time, on the way to your recovery.
Gary McFarlane of The Kairos Centre launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together his experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 23 years and a few books written on the subjects. (Visit www.kairos-centre.com).
Key words: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice, Marriage Tips, Couples Therapy, Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution in Marriage, Conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Marriage Communication, Building Trust in Relationships, intimacy in Marriage, Marriage Recovery, Sex in Relationships, Sex in Marriage, Sex not working, Sex dysfunction, Sex problems, Attachment issues in relationship, Childhood issues in relationship, Marriage Counsellor, Marriage Counselling, Couples counselling, Singles and issues
Singles Partners Marrieds Long Time Marrieds Podcast
Are you genuinely at 'ACTION' - on the 'STAGES OF CHANGE'?
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Maybe you really are not yet at the 'ACTION' stage, as you think you are! 'Tools for 'ACTION' won't work if that is not the STAGE you are at.
Let's look at where you might be at, despite turning up at the Therapists office. Presenting for therapy does not mean you are ready for change and or to give up the behaviours. You see the 'need to give it up', but the 'desire to give it up' is lagging behind.
I am multi-talented and do brain surgery on some of my clients. I explain that I am going to cut round your skull; lift off the top; remove your brain and put your brain on the chair next to you. (Don’t forget to take it when you leave!)
Why do I do something so bizzare? Because I want you to know that your brain (we also call them “Parts”), is not your best friend all of the time. It is well intended. It is seeking to look after and protect you; but it does not always make right or best decisions for you in the moment.
There are times when it will work against you. It will sabotage. That is why I encourage all of my clients to build in “Treats & Rewards” into their programme of change. Over time, of the brain experiencing treats & rewards for small incremental good outcomes, I hope (eventually) to entice the parts of the brain to Start to work with you. It likes treats & rewards for good outcomes. Make sense?
There is another reason for doing brain surgery. I want to have a conversation with my clients, but I don’t want their brain to hear. I need to tell them something, but if their brain hears it, the brain may receive it as permission to Relapse. I don’t want to unwittingly give them that message.
But I do want them to hear that all the stats will tell us that most individuals do not achieve change from repeated compulsive behaviours at their first attempt. Usually there are a number of repeated attempts. Learn to get up, dust off and get back in. Remember 'The Potholes Poem'? Request a copy from me, if you need it.
What are those 'STAGES OF CHANGE ' you are talking about Gary? The Stages of Change in behaviour occurs gradually. A person moves from being uninterested, unaware or unwilling to make a change (Pre-contemplation), to considering change (Contemplation), to deciding and Preparing to make a change.
Genuine determined Action then follows. Endeavours to Maintain the new behaviour occur, as well as the potential for Relapse snapping at its heel, to upset the journey towards life-long change.
Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.
Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.
Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/
Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.
Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,