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Singles Partners Marrieds Long Time Marrieds Podcast
Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options; to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual.
Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two morals, two values. And that is a formula for destruction” - Dr Myles Munro
“[It] is [also] the place of our healing. So don’t leave it too quickly” - Dr Creflo Dollar
You are destined to repeat the issues with a new partner. So, work it through with this partner, to better understand self; then you are in a better place to make an informed decision whether to stay or leave.
So, let’s begin our work together to detoxify the issues and get you closer to your abundant life living - bringing colour back to life - without Shame.
Here are some of the topics covered in the programme: “An Eclectic mix” of counselling and psychotherapy models. Those models include psychodynamic, Systemic, CBT, EMDR, EFT, Gottman, how the past has its tentacles in our present and is affecting our future; moving as much issues from the unseen (the unconscious); better understanding of Shame, Anger, Attachment, Addictions, Trauma, Grief/loss, Narcissism, Depression. (Trauma is the internal wound).
Not quickly, but by small incremental steps, not big leaps; neural pathways; Childhood development; The brain does not like pain; Childhood development can throw up a lot of clues if you go looking; Connecting with the unfinished business of childhood - which holds the keys to the adult behaviours - means finding and re-nurturing the child in you; recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction; equipped to become the author of your new destiny. Your future; Get knowledge. Get understanding.
Then reclaim your life; bring about change – over time, on the way to your recovery.
Gary McFarlane of The Kairos Centre launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together his experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 23 years and a few books written on the subjects. (Visit www.kairos-centre.com).
Key words: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice, Marriage Tips, Couples Therapy, Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution in Marriage, Conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Marriage Communication, Building Trust in Relationships, intimacy in Marriage, Marriage Recovery, Sex in Relationships, Sex in Marriage, Sex not working, Sex dysfunction, Sex problems, Attachment issues in relationship, Childhood issues in relationship, Marriage Counsellor, Marriage Counselling, Couples counselling, Singles and issues
Singles Partners Marrieds Long Time Marrieds Podcast
The world's finest Apple - who me?
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The Law of Sustainment refers to the principle that your ability to maintain progress towards your goals is closely tied to your self-image and identity. If your inner beliefs do not align with your aspirations, it can lead to inconsistency and failure to achieve lasting change.
Put slightly differently: It says 'If you see yourself in a certain way, you'll find it hard to sustain lasting change'.
Can you identify with anything in this poem?
The world’s finest Apple A poem by Julian R. Smith
"You must learn that you cannot be loved by all people
You can be the finest apple in the world - ripe, juicy, sweet,
succulent - and offer yourself to all.
But you must remember that there will be people who do not like apples.
You must understand that if you are the world's finest apple, and
someone you love does not like apples, you have the choice of becoming a banana.
But you must be warned that if you choose to become a banana
you will be a second-rate banana.
But you can always be the finest apple.
You must also realise that if you choose to be a second-rate banana.
There will be people who do not like bananas.
Furthermore,
You can spend your life trying to become the best banana -
which is impossible if you are an apple
- or you can seek again to be the finest apple".
What is clear is that somewhere in the past, something happened - usually in the childhood development period. You now find yourself trying to please people - to fit in and be accepted. You try to present a version of you to the people in the 'system' you are currently interacting in, in order to be accepted.
If that means changing from being an Apple, to a Banana, then so be it. Being accepted in that grouping is the most important factor. Therefore you constantly metamorphorise in order to please and be accepted.
The problem: You never identified and evolved into being the real authentic you or you lost the real authentic you.
So - 'standup the real authentic you' - becomes futile because the real authentic you is not known.
'Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all' - will get the response - 'Well it's all those others, isn't it!'
The Russian doll image best illustrates the protected Inner child deep inside the layers - being protected from the hostile world.
Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.
Bringing colour back to life - without Shame.
Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.
Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building, Marriage counselling,Marriage help,Marriage therapy,Couples counselling,Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,