SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, welcome to the Is It Legit podcast. Um, before we start, uh, we really just ask you guys if you guys like our content, please hit the like and subscribe button uh so you can get more of our content. And it'll really just help our algorithm. So uh thank you so much in advance and uh let's get started with the show.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Okay, guys, welcome back to the pod. Today we'll be covering a pretty important topic: mental health and the age of social media. Uh, we're gonna talk about the evolution of social media and how it's changing the way we see ourselves and mental health. Uh, what are the biggest positives and negatives that us and other people have experienced? And finally, we're gonna talk about how to create different strategies to manage the negative effects of social media and also the positive how to how to uh accentuate the positives of social media. So, Peter, uh, let's just get right into it. Um, what has been the evolution of social media and how has it changed the way we see ourselves and our mental health?

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Yeah, you know, we grew up in a very unique time where the digital age came about and computers were not really a thing. Uh when I was really when we were really, really young, right? Uh, I mean, we had those Mac computers with the IMAX with the one click button, you know, that had organ trail, right? And that was floppy disks, yeah. The floppy disks, and and that was pretty much it. And then there was the advent of the internet that changed the whole game. And of course, social media was one of the biggest game changers in uh the world wide web that uh really changed how we see our world, and so it's very unique in in that sense that we we we saw you know what is life without social media, where a lot of kids they grew up in social media, they grew up with Facebook, you know, and then MySpace, Facebook, and then now the biggest platforms TikTok and whatnot. So it's very interesting, and and I think we see uh the positive effects of social media, and then but a lot of negative effects that follow with it, right? I think one of the statistics that we read was the the mental health crisis with social media, how just the the the feature of the like button has skyrocketed self-harm and suicide among teen girls uh up to 189%. So it's it's a real thing. There's the and with that, there's like cyberbullying, there's unrealistic expectations. These girls are seeing these, you know, girls on social media with you know all this stuff. But I mean it's it's it's all production at the end of the day, and so it's a lot of depression and anxiety going on, and and we're seeing a lot of negative effects. Uh, what about you? Like, how has social media affected uh you in many ways? Like, how what do you see as what social media has become in your life and how it's affected you?

SPEAKER_00 3:17

I I've I've definitely seen the positive and negative effects of social media. Uh, as a parent, I think a lot about how my kids are going to interface with this new world uh that's constantly changing with AI and algorithms that affect how we essentially, which we're gonna cover later, how we become the product of these mega corporations and how a lot of consumer economy is driven through these social media, like the TikTok shops, right? I feel like I'm so behind because I just found out that there's a shop because I'm not on TikTok. Oh wow, because I tried to just disconnect myself because I did I do get affected, right? Because the algorithms are so are so powerful. Um, I do think that there are many habits, good and bad, and I think the bad ones are the ones that you just fall into, but the positive or the good ones are the ones that you can make. Um, I'd like to jump into that uh because the statistic that you shared is such a shocking statistic that I really think that parents again, because I'm a parent, um, and people around us really should pay attention. So what are the biggest positives and negatives from social media? Um where do you how do you think about this?

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Yeah, you know, there are some positives to social media. I mean, I'll be honest, I'm a consumer. I am on TikTok. Uh you are on TikTok. And and you know, I I think one of the biggest positives, I mean, the obvious ones are that you know, you have these like online communities, uh support groups, and um, I think for me with media, one of my biggest takeaways, what really helps me is it actually gives me a lot of ideas. Um that, you know, I used to read a lot of personal development books, huge on personal development books. Uh, and I still do read them, yet what is more engaging now is that even though a lot of these books have, you know, they're like this thick and you got to read a lot, you actually get the summarized version uh based off just interviews online, like podcasts, and you you you get the best of it. And I I do sharpen myself by watching these podcasts and watching people who have gone before me, like these very successful people. How often do we have access to some of these very successful people in our lives? Um before, you would never have that kind of opportunity, right? You'd be able to hear them speak every once in a while in these big auditoriums and pay a thousand dollars to get in, right? Um, that's changed now, and I I believe it has really helped me. Um, I also, you know, have changed my health a lot just by listening to a lot of these um alternative, you know, medical doctors uh or researchers like Huberman, um, Peter Otia, etc., etc. Um, so there are some positive positives. You you can't both you and I can't deny that. I think where the negatives uh come in, I mean, my goodness, the cyberbowling, the trolling, the um there's you know, we are distracted from actually having real community. And that's one of the biggest problems. I I think what I've realized, and I was just telling Rebecca this yesterday, is I just don't have as much incentive to hang out with people anymore. Have you ever felt that? Like, like you're just not uh we are such social creatures, but because there's so much entertainment at home where it's like I can be on Facebook and know what my friends are already doing, right? I can uh watch podcasts, which makes me feel like there are people around me. I can watch Netflix, you know, that really has the entertainment factor. I don't even need to go to the movies and spend what is it like $15 for a movie or whatnot. Yeah, popcorn and drinks, you're in for $50. So I mean, who does that anymore, right? So um, so there's that. That's that's yeah, um, one of my issues.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

One of the things that I think about is this quote of like the the six degrees of separation, right? It's like it's the idea that for m much of history, you had to kind of go like if you knew if if I was alive during uh when Abraham Lincoln was president, you know, I would maybe know somebody who would then know somebody who would then be a friend or a family or a Congress member, and then through those degrees of separation, I can get to this person. But right now, I would say it's like one degree, you know, like President Trump, you know, uh much of the reason why he got elected was he used social media to his advantage, like it or not, right? Right. Where you could actually listen to him on Joe Rogan talk for three hours. I've never been able to do that for any president. Uh so I think that because everything is also a two-way street, you then have less degrees of separation also for the people that you may not want to be in contact with child predators on the extreme or criminals, or it could just be people who don't have to deal with the discomfort of have of having a human being right next to you. So that when I interact with you and say, hey, you're ugly, I wouldn't say that as easily if I was in person with you, right? Because there's reciprocity, there's all these human things. Um, so I do think that that can be a great thing on on the one end to have the support groups, the online communities. Like I benefit hugely from uh like I'm I race cars, right? So us being able to mastermind about a problem virtually, yeah, it saved me so like tens of thousands of dollars of having to learn it on my own and to find talent or to find drivers who can drive with us. Yeah. Uh but there is the other side as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

That's it's really interesting, you know. I I've noticed myself wanting to be less social. And I think there's um there's a situation right now where I have some friends have you know some some issues with each other, right? And it's so easy to cut off that relationship. It's so easy to just, oh, you make me uncomfortable, let's separate. And we don't ever have to see each other again because honestly, I don't meet as many people anymore. Uh I'm not as social anymore. And when I do, the world is large, large enough where I could avoid you. I think in a smaller town, which you know, one would may say we know that right now mental health is a huge issue. We have higher anxiety, higher depression, higher loneliness, etc. etc. But then in a smaller town, it's like everyone knows each other, like you are known. Even if you have an issue with someone, you gotta work it out because right, well, you're gonna see them at the grocery store tomorrow, right? And so it's funny how you mentioned that because I'm I I am realizing even for myself, who uh I was just telling Rebecca yesterday while we were on a walk that I am becoming less social. I actually um be becoming more of an introvert where I used to meet people, I used to have people over my house, like like seriously, every every other day, it almost seemed like, or I would go out and hang out with people, like it just used to be a thing. It's becoming less and less. I have a family now, and and I'm just less incentivized to meet or try to socialize or make new friends, and I feel like social media is one of the variables, one of the causes of that.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

You know what's funny is that I mean, most people that know you would know that you are a very social person to begin with. Yeah, I don't know how you classify yourself as an extrovert or introvert or in the in the middle, but it is funny that our brains are being rewired to get that social satisfaction through online interaction, right? I mean, yeah, when I was I I love to throw parties because I didn't want to interact with people on a one-on-one basis. So when I used to live by myself with my roommates, we would have people literally every day. Like I couldn't do my homework, people are always partying or doing something, but that made me feel that I was in a community of like-minded people, right? And you get that same thing now, or similar things or feelings, or whatever chemical things are happening in your brain online, yeah. And I think for me, um when kids are exposed to social media, I think that's really it's gonna set them up for failure in in later stages of life. And uh one quote that I heard actually more than one uh more than from one person, I've heard this quote, and it's from like 14 to 16-year-old teens that get interviewed and say, Hey, do you think that it was good that your parents didn't give you a phone until you were like 14, 15, 16? And they actually say yes. Wow. They say, Yeah, I had a flip phone and I thought I was missing out on all this stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So even in this generation, kids are realizing that, hey, this is not the most healthy thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Any any other thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Uh I I think I I think we understand social media is destroying us in many ways. And especially when it's unhealthily used, like we're on social media, like we're not saying I don't think we're gonna be able to avoid it. The thing is, it's only gonna get more integrated into our lives. Right. So let's just be honest here. We're not saying that okay, we have to cut social media because we can't live in a bubble. We can't live under a rock. And and that's the reality.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Have you seen uh what is it? Is is it the uh it's either the the meta something, the the the AR glasses, yeah, where I saw a demo, I think it's the Apple, you know, the the latest headset they came out with, the ridiculously yeah, yeah, the the one that looks like a goggle. Yeah, they were having like a meeting, but they were able to spatially see and hear people as if they like FaceTime on steroids. Yes, and I thought that was so crazy because like you, me, our partner from Texas or Georgia, because we have out-of-state properties, we could literally have a face-to-face meeting, and I could turn this way, and the audio would come here, and then I could turn this way, and I feel like that's what our kids are growing up with. So I think we need to talk about maybe some strategies on how to deal with this uh kind of thing. Um, have you have you seen those demos? And what are you what are your thoughts about that? Where do you think this is all going to?

SPEAKER_01 14:30

So I got really big into VR. Uh, I wanted to invest into VR, and so I got the Valve Index, I got a supercomputer to be able to support the Valve Index. And it really opened, you know, I I opened up this game. It's like poker stars or something, VR. And I remember I was sitting there in this virtual world, and I was I had people um next to me, and I was taught like I could hear them. The guy to my right, I can hear them in my right ear. And we're and we're seriously having like a decent conversation. I forget what we were talking about, but we were having like a conversation about something life, like, oh yeah, did you hear about this? And we were just talking while playing poker with each other while we had like virtual swords that we were like stabbing each other and whatnot, you know, just because it's a virtual world. And the reality is human beings are evolving. We are evolving as a species, and we're going into integration with technology and AI. Um, and the fact of the matter is that this, these worlds, whether it's uh our augmented reality, which is what the Apple Vision Pro is, uh, and VR, it's going to be way more stimulating and way more attractive than the real world. And so I don't think we're going to stop it. Same thing with AI. I think we understand all of the dangers that can come with AI. There could be, you know, um AI can turn on us, they could take away all of our jobs, but we're not going to be able to stop it. We really won't. And so, how do we then work with artificial intelligence and VR and AR and these social media platforms uh to live a more healthier life as long as we can help it? I mean, there may be a certain point where we're going to need a serious revolution, but otherwise, it is just where we are. Um before we go into some of the things that that we can do, I just want to talk about some of the um some of the serious dark sides uh that I found very interesting about social media. One of them is you are the product and not the consumer. And I think a lot of people think that they are they are consumers, but really social media they're they're targeting you in a very engineered way. And I don't think people understand how engineered we are. Like social media is made to be extremely addicting for you to click, you know, scroll, scroll, scroll. Then you get this pop-up about uh an ad that's like, oh, it seems like a real ad. And then you click it, every click, every movement, everything is artificial, you know, AI plus like you have I don't even hundreds of thousands of engineers perfectly curating that your experience to make you click on that buy button so you could spend money. And I think one aspect about social media that that that is extremely destructive that people don't realize is that we uh social media is making us go broke. I'm a consumer, I've spent stuff. So I I'm not one who um is I mean, I have like three things coming to me right now from TikTok, I'll be honest, right? So I'm not one who um is saying that I I'm not guilty of this, but what is happening is there's a lot of people who don't have the money where social media makes you feel like you have to buy these products, like you have to buy them. Let's talk about supplements, right? It's like sure supplements are great. I'm a huge consumer of supplements, but it's like the way they the way they manipulate the advertisements. Like if you there's a reason why you have brain fog, you have this and that. Well, the reason why you have brain fog is because you're not eating well, but they they make it like, oh, you're sick and you gotta have this product so you can, you know, be normal again, or or if you don't do this, you're going to die. You know, they they they get you to click on these advertisements to hit to hit that buy button, and then you're wondering why your credit card bill is like you know, ridiculous, out of hand, and you have no money. And so the devastating effects is the financial effects of social media uh to people's bank accounts. And and of course, we know the statistics around uh people's bank accounts. People don't have 70% of people don't even have a thousand dollars. Um, there's another statistic about retirement. Like there's the majority of Americans don't even have any money, any money in their retirement savings. That means what's gonna happen in in 30, 40 years, right? It's like your kids are gonna have to take care of you, and hopefully you have kids to do that, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Yeah, it's a big problem. So that is one thing that I I wanted to mention. Um the the I want to add huge issue. I want to add to that because you know, I've um I've looked into the history of marketing, right? And the whole idea, so we talk about algorithms now, which are basically computer code that recognizes our behavior and tries to manipulate it. Like you mentioned, it's how long do you scroll? How long does like how long do you hover on one picture or link? Yeah. Uh, like how many click-through rates, or or there's all the stuff out there that you can just Google. But the right kind of marketing and algorithm will literally create markets for people to consume off of, like you said. Like you have. Do you mind sharing what your would what you bought on TikTok shop?

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Yeah, I just bought um a cement thing, like like a cement thing to cover my cracks. I bought a weed eater, but not a normal weed eater, but there's like a spinning like disc thing that cuts the weeds. You need that. Um well, it's because my my my grass guy did a bad job. Uh huh. And so I need to like cut them myself, and it's like, ah, it's 40 bucks. And they're like, oh, you got it, there's a huge discount. I also bought the um I bought the boom boom. You're you've seen those advertisements of the boom boom thing. It's like you you like sniff it and then like it like clears your nostrils. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That thing is everywhere. Oh, is that is that I was looking at it.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

You saw it up on the shelf. Yeah, I mean, so those are all through watching TikToks about them.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

All TikTok.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Okay. So is it that you watch a clip and then there's a link to it right? Because I'm not on TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

So easy. And and that's Amazon's best strategy is how to reduce all of the amount of effort to get you to click that buy button without it being illegal. I mean, they they will manipulate it. So it's very easy. You you you watch this video, it seems like a very real video. You click the the the ad, right? But it it's like very, you know, um natural looking. So you just click click the ad, it pops up a link, it shows you where it's like, okay, check out now. Boom. Oh wow. Check out Apple Pay. Apple Pay on your phone. Screw you, Apple Pay, because I love you, but also makes you spend money so much easier. Because before you have to put in your credit card and you're like, ah, this is kind of sus. I don't know if you know they're gonna take my credit card information. But now all you have to do is it's already pre-checked the Apple Pay Box. It's so easy. And all you have to do is click, click on your phone, money's out of your account. They just made a commission off your account. And then the the people who produce it made money off of you. Bam. Right there.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

There's no discomfort. Like zero. You know, sometimes when you're making a purchase and when you have to like put your credit card in, your number in, it takes you time to find your wallet. So you're like you're walking around your house and you're thinking the whole time. And am I doing this? I'm actually doing this. Yeah. You get it out of your wallet, you know, one, two, three, four, five. And you're still thinking and thinking and checking your exit. There's so much time and friction that they're eliminating from all this checkout process. Yeah. Um, the story I was going to share was uh the fact that I think people might be shocked to hear this, that brushing your teeth and diamonds were not in fashion until they made marketing around it. So there's a statistic from some company that said all wedding uh there was there's only like prior to 1940, only 10% of brides would wear diamond rings. Wow. It was not a thing until like a hundred years ago. They started campaigning, they started getting eyeballs to think that a diamond is forever. You've heard that many times. Yeah, right? Every kiss begins with K. Like it's not about the diamond, it's about what it represents, right? So now, guys, I'm sorry, guys, we have to spend what's the rule? Two to four months of our monthly income. Isn't that the rule? Who who made that rule? Some marketer, probably. Seriously. So now you're out of your mind, and so you know, you can't even get married unless you have that's a lot that's a lot of money, right? And then even for two like brushing your teeth, they had to create marketing campaigns prior to I want to say 1930 or 40 to make it more popular to sell toothpaste. Yeah. And that is the lowest level. And now we are here where every click, every advertisement, I mean, you click on something on your on your uh on your phone, we're looking for a popcorn machine, right? Uh that we can rent out to our clients. Well, then if you go on your Amazon on your computer, it follows you. I mean, the algorithm is everywhere. Oh, yeah. Uh, so you are the product, not the customer. I think that's a really, really good point. Um, another one is uh manipulation and spread of misinformation. I think we touched on this in the very beginning, but what is what's your take on this topic?

SPEAKER_01 24:54

You know, one of the gosh, I say finances are one of the most devastating, but one of the craziest parts about social media is that it can change your worldview. It could change your perspective on life, it can manipulate how you think. I mean, I have friends who are just so uh stuck on certain narratives, but it's because the algorithm feeds the same narrative over and over in 20 different ways to make this narrative so rock solid that you wouldn't be able to change this person's mind. The danger in that is that when friends what what who is to say that there's not someone behind you know those those media platforms that is feeding all of these narratives to us to make us believe that we are, you know, we we truly do believe and we're we're smart and we understand um this topic in its entirety, right? And so that that's where it gets a little crazy because the conspiracy around this is that there's a lot of people who are feeding narratives like purposefully to us to make us think a certain way. And I think that's a very dangerous place. I think where, you know, we talked about this before, but where we have to be um open is like we we gotta understand everybody's narratives because someone who is, I'm just gonna talk about politics because it's like the easiest one. Someone who's on the left and someone who's on the right, I think both of them should listen to each other and listen because they're the right is being fed a certain narrative in a 100 different ways. The left is being fed uh certain narratives on a hundred different different uh facets, right? And so for these two, they have to, they're so like stubborn about their narratives that they're not willing to listen to each other. I think that's a huge problem. I think we gotta listen to both narratives and be open to uh another narrative, right? We need to stop talking about what we just know and listen start listening about, you know, okay, maybe there's a different perspective. Maybe there's a farmer in Arkansas that doesn't have any of these social media platforms that can give you a certain narrative about a worldview that may be so much more profound than what we know with all of our city like knowledge, if that makes any sense, right? And so that yeah, I think that's a huge, uh, a scary part of uh of this world. Like we're we're being fed our what we believe, and and that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Yeah, I keep coming back to, you know, as I listen to you talk, um, I keep coming back to the idea of uh discomfort and how we lack discomfort because we live in this echo chamber, you know, you go onto YouTube and you kind of see all the things that you like to see, and then the algorithm reminds you what you saw like a few days ago. So I'm in this endless loop of like basketball, racing. My my wife is about you know cute videos and this and that, and that's literally your world, and you're kind of always fed this nice curated version of your own reality. Yeah. Um, a recent podcast that I really um, if anybody has like a political leaning, I just I know you you've known about this for a while. I just discovered the all-in podcast. It's these very mega rich people, like billionaires, talking about the world affairs, and they're literally arguing in a very respectful, friendly way. Yeah, you know, it's like you and me arguing about about about the tariffs. And as one person speaks, because they're so good and eloquent, I mean, they didn't get there just by being a nobody, right? And I'm like, oh yeah, I think this is true. I think that tariffs are are good or bad. And then the other person will immediately have like the another counter reaction. And I'm like, no, I think that's true too. So now I'm I'm left with this feeling of discomfort, kind of dissonance. And now I have to figure out which is more, you know, relative or uh believable to me. But I think we don't we usually just get the one side to your point, and that just keeps you going down this path of yes, yes, you know, blue is good, red is bad, or you know, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

So and I think that's I that I really do think that that's dangerous. I mean, if these mega successful people are people are willing to listen to each other, and and they really do, and someone's I mean, not all the time, to be honest, because I I watch them often and sometimes they like kind of speak over each other, but for the most part, they really do listen to each other because that's wisdom, you know. Be slow to speak, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:56

You gotta listen to people, so yeah, they learn from each other, they change their minds on the spot. Um but yeah, to uh to head into the next topic. Um maybe we can end this on uh privacy is an illusion. When you think that you are, you know, like what does privacy in the digital age mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Yeah, you know, uh at I'll be honest, at first I'm like, uh, if someone takes my private, if someone's like watching what I'm doing, it's like, is that really the end of the world? I I I I honestly am one of those guys, right? I think where this becomes a huge problem is that you know, I think the reason why these social media platforms are mega rich, why they're getting incredible offers, like TikTok got an incredible offer to be able to be bought out. That's still pending, by the way. And social media like Facebook is I mean, what is meta stock now, right? It's like it's valued at a ridiculous amount. It's because of the information that they have on people. We have these profiles. What's happening behind the scenes is that these companies are buying information. You, John Kim, John DJ, whatever Kim, um you have a profile, and they are if a company can get their hands on your profile and they have a lot of information on you, right? If they can get your the hands on your profile, they can sell you things cater to your personality, to what you like and what you are likely to buy, right? And that's how they're profiting off of you. That's where this becomes a problem because uh they they they just have so much knowledge on you, and it it's it's only going to get like these digital profiles you see in the the social dilemma, like we have these digital profiles that um that is going to be used against you, that will make you spend money, that will, you know, change your narrative on you know the way you look at things and and et cetera, et cetera. So there are dangers to it that um we don't fully recognize or fully realize how much uh this is actually affecting our lives personally.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Um I'd love to share one story that came up. Uh I was reading this book called Pre-Suasion by Robert Cialdini. He's like the psychologist guy that studies how people get persuaded without even them knowing. Um and a story was this dad storms into a target, a local target, calls a manager on duty and says, I need to speak to you right now. They're wondering what is going on, why is he so upset? And apparently his daughter, who was very young, I think she was in her teens or very early 20s, just very young, you know, woman, was getting sent magazines from Target about uh pregnancy things. Oh okay, I think you know where this is going. And he's like, How ridiculous is it that you're marketing to my young daughter? And they're like, I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on. I just work here. And then a few weeks later, he comes back into the store. This is in the book, right? He comes back into the store and says, I am so sorry. I apologize because I realize my daughter is pregnant. So the activity that she somehow, maybe it was a credit card purchase or like a pregnancy test. Whatever. Yeah. The millions of things that our wives would have bought or thought about when our, you know, she when they were pregnant with our children, ended up flowing into the algorithm, then selling that data to Target and all these companies, and then directly uh going before the need. Like it's already there before then. That's how powerful things are. And I think we have to be respectful to that. Then we can talk about. So, what do we do? We talked about you know, the landscape of things, the history, the pitfalls and dangers of social media use, also some of the positives. Um, what is or what are some habits or strategy that you use to keep your social media use healthy and on the level?

SPEAKER_01 34:36

Yeah, I I think uh okay, so as long as we are on the topic of finances and how social media is devastating our finances, we I will 100% recommend people to budget. They have to budget their money, they have to understand that they have a certain amount of spending money on certain things for their own personal self or their enjoyment, and they have to stick to those budgets. And so learn that discipline because, you know, uh until I did that, I was spending money like crazy too. Oh, it's only a $15 product. Oh, you know, $30 with shipping, but then that stuff accrues, and then all of a sudden you open up your Chase credit card bill and you're like, WTF, who stole my money? Chase made a mistake, right? But of course they didn't, and you just bought a bunch of products that accumulated to now several thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_00 35:31

Yeah, we think uh we're like that guy from 300, you know. Chase, you are wrong. I did not spend you're wrong, Leonidas. Oh, wait, hold on. Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

I'm sorry, Leonidas. Every month, every month. It's it's it so that's number one. You have to protect your money like sharks are out there every single day, everywhere you look, they're out there trying to take your money. They really are, and so protect it like you got to be the Leonidas to your you know, your bank account because they they will uh put your hands uh their hands on it. I think another thing is um setting time limits. I think taking breaks, focusing on positive content. So uh, well, let's talk about time limits. So one thing that I used for a very long time is um uh screen time, right? And so, like if you go over a certain time, you're gonna get a notification. Hey, you're you're and you're 30 minutes in, please stop. That's an easy thing. Go to your phone right now, go to your settings, go to screen time, go change that right now. At least get that notification. There's also uh an ability for you to cut it, uh cut it off. Like you can't you can't open up the app again unless you uh you manipulate it, which you shouldn't be able to because what I do is I give the password either to my wife or to somebody else. Um and then the other thing that I'm actually really careful of is getting any negative content on my feed. So let me give you an example. Um, I mean, just really anybody negative. I I just don't like I I unfollow those accounts. You might, you know, like Logan Paul. I mean, personally for me, it's like I don't see that guy as a really uh a positive influence. I don't want to become like Logan Paul. Like, okay, you have this, you know, this deal, this brand deal, and you're making these drinks now, but like I don't want to become more like you. I want to start following the people I want to be like family man, someone who cares about the community, someone who is successful, who has done things, but also has a good uh head on their shoulders, not Logan Paul or KSI or some of these people, right? Um, so I would personally just unfollow some of these, uh, some of these uh people. I think the other thing, and I'm very careful about this, is because as I am going through my social media, let me tell you right now, one of the biggest appeals on the social media content is sexual content. And so as soon as the sexual content comes on my feed, I immediately swipe up. Because if I don't swipe that up quickly, the the social media is gonna show me more of that content. And of course, like there's probably porn companies behind these social media, like these people who are trying to make you just get a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more, and then all of a sudden you're you're you're watching full-on porn, and then from there they're manipulating you to obviously spend money, right? They do the free content to go to OnlyFans to spend money, and just there's this whole cycle to it, and it's it's it's it's harping on your addictive behavior. And so we all know that porn. I mean, there's people trying to fight porn right now, but I I think that's one thing that you have to be really careful of. It doesn't matter. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, doesn't really matter. They're going to try to push that content to you, and you really have to train the algorithm to not allow that content to come. Uh like what I what I use, I I there's like a restricted use for TikTok. I just use that, that helps, but it's not perfect. Things still do pop up, and you really, really have to like white knuckle and just swipe up so it doesn't train that.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

Um yeah, another one is uh uh just piggybacking off of that. If you see something, if you see something that is a positive influence to you, um, or that you can learn from, or you know, anything that's good, you should think about liking it and commenting on it because then that also trains the algorithm to produce more of that content.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

So just pause real quick. So, guys, please like and comment on our content if you like this content. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Great, great segue. Should we pause for 30 seconds? We're gonna pause for uh three minutes. Um, yeah, we'll wait until everybody uh comments, 10 comments. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, I mean, if it's a learning thing, you know, I'm really into psychology, like we we talk about this all the time. Instead of just watching it, you know, train the algorithm, ask a question or you know, say something positive, or maybe share an experience, or like, or what you know, subscribe if you're really into that person. Yeah, uh, but yeah, you can definitely train the algorithm to do your bidding as long as you recognize how dangerous it could be if you don't do anything because it will just train you.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

So let's talk about the recognizing part. So we all know social media is really hurting our mental health right now. All of us. I would say all of us, it's hurting our mental health. So, how do we then how does someone recognize when social media is starting to harm them their mental health? Well, what are some of the points that that people can just immediately right now audit their mental health?

SPEAKER_00 41:01

I think what I've noticed, uh to just to be personal, uh is when I'm tired, when I'm stressed out and I'm not doing the things that I'm supposed to do to de-stress myself, um, as I get older, I recognize the uh necessity for movement, some sort of movement. We're not telling people to do backflips, just walk, move, do something. If I'm not on my best behavior for diets or whatever it might be, I find myself more susceptible to these behaviors. Yeah, whether it's eating a candy or scrolling or doing cocaine, it's all the same in your brain, right? Uh when I recognize that I when I stop scrolling, I have this very increased anxiety, because kind of uneasy feeling. And then I notice myself, it's like a pacifier for adults, right? Or for anybody. Keep scrolling, and I'm not even really even paying attention to what it is, and I'm just addicted to the scroll. That's when I realize okay, it's time to shut off and go do something. I am stressed out, I recognize the buildup of that in my system, and I am not doing something positive to make that better. Um, I think a really big thing is tying social media use to your sleep patterns. So I've been guilty of it. I mean, we all have probably falling asleep to screen time, yeah, to kind of like turn off your brain, but not really, and then also waking up to social media. Yeah. Uh unless you have something positive affirmations or some sort of thing that and and let's face it, that's not gonna turn out well because it'll lead you into something else. Because you have no, you need to, you when you when you are awake, you're in that alpha uh brainwave state where every you're super susceptible, right? And if you let your algorithm control the beginning of the day, I mean it's already a downward spiral from there. Um what about you? What have you what kind of signs do you see?

SPEAKER_01 43:15

Uh yeah, I I think uh I mean the great thing is when I I have people around me, like I live with people, and so they call me out. Um my wife calls me out when I am on my phone too much. And and it really I I've had my moments. I mean, I'm not talking as a uh a teacher here, I'm talking as a student where I have had many instances where I was I because the thing is like my the my brain is like I need to be stimulated. Like I've I've been like that since I was a kid. Like I I just I that's why I love video games. And I I don't just play like normal video games, I play, you know, Warcraft, which most people won't even know what that is, but it's like Warcraft or StarCraft or things that require like tons of thinking. Tons of you know like stimulation. Um, and so now that I'm older, like I always have to be on my phone, even when I was living alone. I would have a movie on. I'm not even kidding. I would have a movie on. I have my so like on the TV screen. I had my monitor here that like I'm doing something else on, like working on, and I would have my phone watching like social media. I've been there. Like that's how that's how stimulating.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

I've been there, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

So you recognize, like, and now I have someone to call me out and recognize, oh, I am on my phone way too much. So, so um, do I have mental health issues? No, I I I I don't, but I've I've had situations where I would actually have I don't know if you've ever had this, but like mental fatigue. It's the craziest thing, and it's actually wildly uncomfortable. Sometimes I'd be doomed, like not it's it's not doom scrolling because doom scrolling is when you're like depressed and you're just like feeding negative information. I think there's like a part of doom scrolling that I don't necessarily vibe with, but for me, I'm just like scrolling and I'm and the thing about these shorts is that they're so stimulating now. Because remember, it used to be videos like podcasts or like you know these stories, but now it's like these shorts, they they have so many cuts. I I do video editing, so I I understand like they do so many cuts and put a a an hour-long movie into like one minute, and it's just so stimulating that by the end of all of these videos that you're watching, you're like mentally exhausted, fatigued. Oh, and I don't know if you've ever done this where you close your eyes and like my brain is so fatigued, I can't even think. And it's actually it's actually really uncomfortable. I'm like, oh my god, I I can't even like imagine something right now because like my brain's not functioning.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

That's a tough one. I think that's honestly one of the worst things is that it doesn't allow you to listen to your own inner voice, right? Not to get all spiritual or whatever, but it is. Uh and I'm not even talking about religiously, just like what do you want? Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you want today? What do you not like? What do you like? What are you gonna eat? Who are you gonna talk to? And I realize that when I when I have woken up with because I'm I'm so tired sometimes, you know, I can blame it on so many things, but I wake up tired and I'm like, I need to get up. And my coffee is downstairs, my my phone is right here. So look something up, and then my day is filled with somebody else's ideas and somebody else's how to live their life, and it doesn't, and these 60 second shorts, they're not gonna give me what I need to look into myself and figure out okay, my goals for today are this, tomorrow, this week, next month. And uh, I do understand what you're saying about mental fatigue because it's literally depleting your dopamine system, and you need more.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

And and then I think the problem is, is like as you're going out through your day, especially if you're doing social media in the in the morning, is that you're not yourself, you you can't give yourself fully to your day, to your work, to your studies, to your interactions with your friends, to your spouses, to your, you know, you know, like you name it, right? It's like you're not fully giving yourself. It's the same thing with pornography. It's like you're watching porn and it's so stimulating that like it actually like dulls the rest of the world because it's like you're so like it's just so stimulating on on on this thing. And so, um, and there's like studies and sciences around that, but I think that's what social media does to us. And and one of I I remember one of the I forget who it was, I don't know if it was Henry Thoreau or it was one of the philosophers. They said that the greatest teacher in the world is being in silence. Yes, it's that inner voice, which I'll be honest, like at my most successful times is I actually used to spend so much time alone. Uh I used to pray. I'm talking like for like three, four hours. I remember like there was instances where I was invited to a party and it was like my my roommate and best friend was uh uh throwing the party. It's probably gonna be like 200 people over there, right? Tons of people that I know, tons of fun, very stimulating. Um, I suited up, I did my hair, took an hour, like I was like all ready to go. And I decided, you know what, I'm not gonna go out to this party. I'm gonna stay in my my, I literally stayed in my closet for four hours just by myself, just praying. I fell asleep, I'll be honest, for like 30 minutes, but I like got back up and I just prayed and I was just by myself. And it's in those moments that I had the most clarity in my in my life. It's those moments where I just felt more peace and more um joy, more you know, sus just feeling sustained emotionally, mentally, spiritually, um, because I spent those times alone. And and listen, even Jesus spent time alone a lot. If you read the Bible, he spent a lot of alone time. And actually, one of the most successful people, I don't know what it is about the beta state, I don't know what it is, but there's something there where in silence is where you find the most impact in your life. And so one of the things, just to kind of close this out, is that one of the things I do do is airplane mode. I I'm constantly in airplane mode. People talk to me, say all the time, dude, your phone was was off. And my wife hates it because she's like, What if I had an emergency? But it's like for me, I put things on airplane mode, mainly because like I don't want the EMF like just on my phone, like in my pocket. But also, it's like when I'm doing something, when I'm hanging out with you, or when I'm hanging out with friends, or when I'm doing something, when I'm with a client or when I'm with when I'm with my kid, I want to be truly present and available doing the thing that I'm doing right there, rather than having half my attention here and half my attention in real life.

SPEAKER_00 50:20

No, those are great strategies. I mean, you talked about you know apps that can uh track and restrict your use, giving away your passwords, kind of take, you know, using the lock, taking the key away from yourself, right? You've talked about um airplane mode, or I use do not disturb mode sometimes, just so that you can get those calls from you know your mom, or you know, as our parents are getting older, I worry about my mom all the time. Um but for the people just to you know, because we are talking about you know finding balance, right? And and how to how to have these tools in your tool belt so that you can use this for good and not for evil. Um, maybe I want to ask you about imagine yourself back then when you were you had the multiple screens going, you couldn't concentrate, right? And to obviously fast forward now to now, you are able to build those systems and practices around you to to combat that, to fight that. What would what kind of advice would you have for people who are just stuck? Like I cannot get off my phone, I'm depressed, I you know, I wake up with my phone, I go to sleep with my phone. Every chance I get, I'm doing this and my life sucks. How what would you say to those people as words of advice?

SPEAKER_01 51:53

How do you break a bad habit? That's another podcast that we could do. And I'm I'm reading a book about uh anatomic habits uh about how to break bad habits. One of the things that one of the things that really pointed out to me that was really powerful is you have to shock your system, you have to change your environment. Um, because right now the habits like there's cues around your house where you live, there's cues that make you open up your phone. Right. And then from the phone, it goes into like there's cues that make you uh pull up Instagram, right? There's cues that go from Instagram to hitting that sponsor button, opening up that page and paying for that thing, right? So there's a bunch of these cues. So you really have to shock your system. Are you gonna make a decision now or are you gonna listen to this right now? And then tomorrow, and there's gonna be no change, no difference. So, what I would do is I would right now go into your phone. If you have an iPhone, I can't speak on uh Android users, uh, but if you have an iPhone, go into your system and just hit the screen time button, give the code to somebody else and give yourself a limit. Make it three hours, for goodness sake. Like if you're babystep it, if you're on social media for five hours a day, and now I'm kind of going extreme, but just make it three hours, sure, limit it and you know, and and and give the password to someone else. Do that right now, right? Change your environment, right? Um, you know, whatever it is, like move things around, go move apartments. Seriously, like you need to make it that shocking to your system. So all these cues don't make you, you know, back into the same habit. Um, and then I would I I don't believe in just like white knuckling, like trying to stop something. You have to fill it with something else. So go find a hobby, right? Go go play tennis or go go um work out, do something that's really fun. Soccer, uh ping pong, it doesn't whatever, whatever it is. Um, I would say video games, but it's like I I know that's just one poison to another. Uh, but do something else to fill that time that will help you kind of change your your dynamic because you can't just have this empty void, you got to fill it with something, or else it's just gonna refill with that that negative habit again, which thus unfortunately you know, the way the neural pathways work is you're just gonna keep reinforcing that bad habit. And so I would definitely shock your system right now, create preventative measures, and then I'll also you know put put in some new habits, some new fun, good, uh healthy habits inside there.

SPEAKER_00 54:31

Yeah, it's a great message. Um, I know people are struggling as we both have uh and sometimes still do, to be honest. And uh the environment is such a powerful trigger. I love atomic habits. I've learned a lot from that book as well. And uh maybe we can cover some of those things next time.

SPEAKER_01 54:49

That sounds good. Uh everyone, thank you so much for watching. Um, we uh we we really would uh uh ask you guys to hit the like button, uh subscribe to our channel. We're starting small, but uh, you know, we uh it really does help the algorithm as we're talking about algorithm. Um if you if you do some of those things and and mind you, we're trying to put good content out there, we're trying to be a good influences out there, and so if you want to hear more of like the good influence kind of content, even though we might not be as you know engaging as K, you know, uh Logan Paul or or you know some of these you know Twitch streamers and whatnot, they do all these crazy things. Um, you know, we want to put good content out there that could really help you guys. So thank you guys for watching, and um, we'll see you guys on the next video.