Milk & Honeys
Milk & Honeys" is the perfect blend of raw industry insights and unfiltered realness. Like the ingredients that sweeten and smooth out a cup of tea, hosts Kayla Becker (TV host of 10 years) and Vanessa Curry (model and actress of 10 years) bring their own flavors to the conversation— Together, they spill the tea on what it really takes to live and thrive in LA’s entertainment scene.
So, grab a mug and sip on some Milk & Honeys—because we’re serving the tea with all the right ingredients.
Milk & Honeys
Episode 21: David Hernandez on American Idol Fame, Sobriety & Feeling It All
What happens when the headlines arrive before the human?
We sit down with singer-actor David Hernandez to trace his jagged path from a chaotic Arizona childhood to American Idol’s bright lights, the pain of being outed in 2008, and the slow, stubborn work of building a sober life worth remembering..
David shares the bottom that looked more like a flatline than a fire—DUIs, rehab, lonely nights with the bottle—and the daily mental work that recovery requires: therapy, 12-step programs, and the radical act of sitting with discomfort instead of running. That honesty powers his new single Feel It All, featuring real people in recovery, and even his mom—to prove the opposite of addiction is community.
It’s a story about resilience without the varnish, creativity without the mask, and why feeling it all might just be the bravest act of all.
If you’re beginning your own sobriety journey—or want to support someone who is—check out these resources:
West Hollywood Recovery Center
You’re not alone.
All right, everybody. Welcome back to Milk and Honeys. We're your hosts, Kayla Becker and Vanessa Curry. And today we have a very special guest, our first guest in quite some time. So we had to make sure we brought back guests that had to be the perfect person. You see him here. This is David Hernandez. You may remember him from season seven, American Idol. Launch his brand new single, Fill It All, which he released this past month for National Sobriety Month. David, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Welcome to Milk's Milk and Honey. I like both milk and honey.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Do you like them together?
SPEAKER_00:I do like them together. Yeah, I do. I like things that are sweet. Like you two, you know.
SPEAKER_04:Like I said, thank you. But today we're gonna go, we're getting break, we're getting tea. Okay. We're gonna talk about sobriety, music, identity, but also fun, idle memories, and what it's like to be a sober gay performer in West Hollywood. So buckle up, audience, because it's gonna be a wild ride. This is a good time.
SPEAKER_02:It's crazy.
SPEAKER_00:We're unhinged. Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I love I've known you for quite some time. David was actually one of the first friends that I met in Los Angeles through one of our mutual friends, uh Josh, which is crazy. That's been almost three years ago. Is it really since we met? Yeah. Crazy.
SPEAKER_00:Time is wild to me. It's wild. I don't get it.
SPEAKER_02:You've been here for how long now?
SPEAKER_00:Ooh, in LA? Yeah. 17 and since 2008. So do the math. Yeah. It's been a minute. I feel like I'm more of a California Californian than an Arizonian.
SPEAKER_02:And yeah, so that's when Fun Glendale. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So I don't know. I know we've like had you know opportunities to sit and chat and talk about our lives a little bit, but obviously these wonderful viewers have not. So I'm gonna go all the way back to the beginning. Young David Hernandez, Arizona. What was what was life like growing up? Was music always in the picture for you?
SPEAKER_00:Music was always in the picture. My mom played vinyl records of like the Temptations and Whitney and Mariah and Aretha. And you know, she would she also played like Pearl Jam and the Cranberries. So she had the really eclectic taste. But my mom loves good vocalists. So I I grew up on those vinyl records trying to run around the house, like emulating these singers. I was like five or six years old, and I knew immediately I wanted to be a singer. I just didn't like didn't know you could make a living off of it. So I always, yeah, and but but growing up, I think music was always like the solace, but growing up was really tumultuous. Like I had, you know, my parents had me when they were 17. They divorced when I was two. Um, they were really, really young. So it was like kids raising kids sort of thing, you know? And so I always was going back and forth between like dad and mom, and I had like, you know, siblings and like stepbrother and a stepmom. And it was just always all if there's one word I could describe my childhood as being, I would just say chaotic.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It was very chaotic.
SPEAKER_04:During that chaos, though, did somebody in particular, was it your mom that kind of saw your talent for music and pushed you to do that? Or did anybody push you do that? Or were you just like, no, this is this is me. I want to do this.
SPEAKER_00:It was start, it's well, it started if it's very that. It started off very me. And then my mom, she's she's the most supportive person in the world. Um, she was like, Yeah, go, like, if that's what you want to do. And then my grandmother and my grandfather, they both were really the catalyst. Like, my grandfather took me to my first musical theater audition. He was a janitor in a strip mall, and there was this theater company that's still around called Valley Youth Theater, and they were holding auditions, and they were probably like, we got to shut this kid up. Like, just you know what I mean? So he took me to my first audition and I got the role. That was my first paid gig. Really? Yeah, I don't know how much it paid, but yeah. It was the Canterville Ghost, which most people have never heard of, but it was so cool because the set had like secret doors and there was a fog machine, and I could do my makeup. Like, I was living, you know, fog machine on stage.
SPEAKER_04:Fog machine on it was everything. It was everything, it's still everything now. Yes, when I I grew up dancing in the nutcracker, and so snow scene has fog everywhere, has fake snow coming in. It's it's till this day, it's my favorite scene to just watch, but like being in it was something totally different. But still, to this day I've got a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00:When you say like I got goosebumps, just because like it it like satisfies all that fantasy you had as a kid, you know. You just wanted to be all those things you saw on TV. So, like fog machine, fake snow, yeah, whatever it was, trapdoor. Like that it was so cool. So, so yeah, it was like a it was like the trifecta. It was my mom, my grandma, my grandpa, and they were just like, let's give this kid one.
SPEAKER_02:You're so fortunate to have had that because a lot of us, you know, who are in this business and entertainment, our parents could potentially shoot those rooms down in your kid. Like, go be an accountant, get a job, it's gonna, you know, that's how my parents kind of were in the beginning until yeah, but then as a kid, and like finding and realizing your passion, and I'm assume after that it was like, okay, you're locked in. This is what you're gonna do for the rest of your life.
SPEAKER_00:And I get that side of it too, because now being in the game for so long, like fuck, what was it? No, for real. Like, especially like the lulls of it all. We get the lulls of it. I'm like, man, I wish I had that, you know, that 401k that that I could cash out.
SPEAKER_04:And the and the hustle gets harder as you get older. You know, it's like even like Kayla, sometimes she'll be like, I don't know how you do it right now. I'm like, well, yeah, last two and a half years, I didn't have to really hustle, but like now it's it's it goes through, like you said, those lulls where it's like, okay, we know how to do it. Yeah, but it is exhausting when you get to a certain age, it's not necessarily our brain that's tired, but it's our bodies that get tired. Yeah, like I'm ready to go.
SPEAKER_00:Totally. And you and I think one of the main things for me is like remembering that excitement that I had when I was a kid and constantly bringing it back. It's kind of wild. I talk to my little self a lot lately, like, because I I think through this journey of being sober in the last like almost a year and five months, I have like started to love the things that I used to love in the ways that I used to love them, like the most simplistic things. So, like, even when I see like old photos of myself, I'm like, oh yeah, you know, instead of like, ugh.
SPEAKER_02:Have you seen that you have that a uh day where you could have your adult self holding? Hug yourself. We did it. You did it self-show using the challenge. And I sat there and looked at it, almost like got emotional. Did you start crying? Yeah, this is why I'm gonna do it.
SPEAKER_00:Do they create the old the little version of the phone?
SPEAKER_02:So you put two line photos of the baby, and then that's like me now. And I was like, that looked like a couple of things.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, that's gonna that would make me cry. If I want to cry looking at yours, I probably would ball crying at mine.
SPEAKER_04:And then mine's down there somewhere, I think. Yeah, a little bit of a couple. It was in a group chat, so all of us were like doing it. Like, isn't that crazy?
SPEAKER_00:Wow, but it is, it wasn't a good life.
SPEAKER_02:You said, like, wow, like this is why we do it when days get hard. We're doing it for that that little kid.
SPEAKER_00:That little kid inside, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And it's and it's important, right? It's important to not um judge our past versions of ourselves, but show them a little bit more love and kindness because I think we those past versions of ourselves needed that. So now we're in that spay head space where we can look at those photos and say, you know what? I know what you were going through. I know what you were dealing with.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know about for you, but like that little kid got me out of the situations that I knew I always wanted to get out of when I was a kid, like that chaotic life that I mentioned.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:That little kid had these crazy, delusional dreams that as the industry sort of beats you down and becomes more linear in terms of business, it kind of like sucks it out of you. Right. And so it's important to like go back and be like, shit, like that little kid was fucking nuts. But like, I love him. You know, because like none of this would be even happening if I didn't have like some sort of like got pushed. Yeah, like so. I always have to just pay homage to that little like kid with the Mickey Mouse shirt.
SPEAKER_02:You just send you some photos of you.
SPEAKER_00:I will send you, yeah, I will send you some.
SPEAKER_02:Um, you mentioned your mom Spring, who I had the opportunity to meet on the set of your new video. Yeah, yeah. We kind of got to talk for a second, and she she kind of alluded to a couple things about you growing up with her, and she was like, I always feel like I owe this to him because I feel like I I she blame myself for you know some of the things that you know he's gone through. But what was like y'all's personal obviously great now, but has it always been? There's a you know, it's hard.
SPEAKER_00:I have a different perspective than my mom. I don't know, she beats herself up beyond measure, but like I I think we've always been best friends, and best friends have moments where they're not, you know, always agreeing on things or like the timeline of events that happen.
SPEAKER_01:But like, yeah, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:No, no, no, girl, that that did happen. Like, you know, my mom and I had a conversation a couple months ago, um, actually it was a few weeks ago, where we were trying to get the timeline down of like uh, you know, when I when I moved out and moved with my dad, because there was like a whole thing with that. Um and she her like the trajectory of sort of like how she was and like partying back then and like sort of her drug abuse and when she got out of that, like it was just a little skewed, right? Because like I think as you go through life and trauma, like you just naturally like block those things out. And so it was really cool having that conversation because I was actually on the I had her on speaker and I was writing down in my notes, like, okay, so so this is when you did this, and this is when I left, and this is when and she was like, Oh my god, I forgot that oh my god, like and it so in her in her mind things happened a little slightly different than how I think that they actually happened, you know. So I I don't when she when she says like I caused a lot of these things, I don't know. I don't blame my mom for any of the things, and or my dad, really. I mean, I've learned to meet my parents where they're at and they're also human. Um do I wish that like I would have had parents that were like parents?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I mean, I grew up with kids who had both parents and like who had parents that were considerably older than them, you know, that had them in their like 30s or you know. But um, but now I I have parents that are like barely approaching 60 and they're like, you know, they're like my best friend. So I don't know. I I don't really blame my mom for things. I just think it turned out the way it was supposed to. I mean, how was she supposed to change that? You know, right?
SPEAKER_02:And at the same time, oh sorry, good. Well, the fact she's like taking responsibility. I love the fact that you're sitting down and recounting your individual memories and comparing them. That's something I'm trying to do with my biological mom because for so many years we didn't talk about anything because she'd kind of go into like a victim mentality and it was just more work than it was worth and combative. And I still don't have haven't had those kind of conversations with her.
SPEAKER_00:So you're in your story is really, really interesting.
SPEAKER_02:You shared pieces of it with me, and it's just like more reasons for us to be proud of ourselves, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:We're thrown some of the worst things we could have used the way we were grow the way we grew up as like a uh a reason to be assholes when we got older, but you know, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:When when I when I talk with my mom about stuff, like she doesn't know this yet, but I actually have some things that I want to apologize to her about that are just taking time as I evolve through this journey and stuff. But there's some moments where, like, you know, I scared the shit out of her, you know? And like I know that that weighs on her, but she, you know, she's such a sweetheart that she's just like, I take accountability for everything. And I'm like, no, no, my love. Yep, I am a grown ass man, I have made some choices. Yes, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:Like oh yeah, a lot of my parents' gray hairs were from me in high school, and I have had I've apologized. I mean, my dad's no longer with us, but I've apologized to him still. Yeah, but even my mom, I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like, I just and and and you think about it, and you're like, if I would have just been open to certain things that were going on in my life, yeah, maybe it would have been different, you know. So it's not necessarily your fault, you didn't even know. Yeah. Um, so it's it's like working through those those past events letting it be.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, like reconciling them. And sometimes there isn't like a resolution per se, but just the conversation itself, I find is really, really healing. Yeah, absolutely. It's really healing.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:All right. Well, we were talking about hustling and how we're all in that hustle mode right now, but uh, you've always been a hustler. Before American Idol, you were in cover bands doing some cruise ship stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I was a stripper.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. Thinking about all these gigs that you had, is there one that's still?
SPEAKER_00:Did you say any place that would have me? That is great.
SPEAKER_02:That's a my boy now.
SPEAKER_00:Hungry guy, hungry guy. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:You need a host for bingo nutty. I got you guys, I got you. Those uh, you know, those hustles back then still kind of like it make you like laugh, but like fondly.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I do. I mean, I to be honest, 100%. I don't think I've ever shared this, but I really loved my stripping job. Yeah. I really did. Because you know, at that point in time, I was feeling myself. I had I went from this super skinny kid to like I started working out and like I had a growth spurt and I just got buff. I had like abs, and like I don't know, everybody was saying I was cute. And I was like, I was like newly gay, you know what I mean? Like, I don't I still have milk on my tongue, no pun intended. You know, slow down, little one. But I I felt like um I had control. Like I could show up to this, it was just a job for me. I didn't really make friends. That's one thing they did say. They were like, my name was Caden, by the way. Caden. Caden, yeah. They were like, Caden's mean. He doesn't I was like, no, like the one thing like I always kept in mind was like, this is a means to an end. I don't want to get stuck in like alcohol and drugs. Right. Ironic. But like I don't want to be here for longer than I need to. I just want to stack the paper, put myself through the rest of my college, and then get on and up out of Arizona, which I had wanted to do since I was like six, you know? Right. So this was always just like, all right, let me go swindle these men for some cash. Yep. Get my bag, kill yourself, and I'm out. And that's exactly what I did. So I don't know. I it was it was probably one of the easier times of my life, to be honest, because it was just like just money grab. It was like it was always like, and then I was just so excited because I knew this wasn't it. Yeah. You know, so it was it was a great time. People misconstrue it with like, oh, it must have been hard men touching you, and blah, no, actually, yeah. That's all that thing.
SPEAKER_04:Was were you were you newly out at that point? Kind of.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, I was 20, I was 22, so I had just really come out to my mom and my dad, and I had my first boyfriend at the time. Okay. Who was really cool with me being a stripper too? So I was just like, and I had a brand new like Honda Accord that I had lease.
SPEAKER_04:Like, and in my mind, that was like that was yeah, oh yeah, I remember those all with like all the things, all the bells and whistles.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah. The love of seats, the seat warmers, you know.
SPEAKER_04:Was was that the most non-glamorous job that you ever did glamorously? Or what was the most like non-glamorous job that you did?
SPEAKER_00:Probably I hated serving tables, man. Uh and I'm and I'm not I'm just not good at it. Like I'm just not good at it. I think I have a selective memory.
SPEAKER_02:Yep. You know, like you see these like servers who come up and like don't write anything down. Like, how the f I'm gonna do it? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know what that looks like for people or what?
SPEAKER_04:Even when I wrote it, I only served one time and it was like a cocktail server. I was a matre D at a restaurant. They're like, dude, you should just try cocktail serving. Like it's you know, you can make more money and blah blah blah. I did it for one night and I was like, I'm never doing this ever again. The anxiety, I can't. The people like I think there was a there was a a group of people from uh Australia where they don't tip, right? In Australia, but you're in America, and so they like left and didn't tip on like almost a$200 check. And I'm over here freaking out because like I'm not used to that, you know? Yeah, and I was just like, yeah, no, f the fuck this. I'm never doing this ever again.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there's definitely a tipping, a difference in tipping in Europe and versus the United States, and like if you don't know that conversion or if there's not a conversion, like it just And you're doing they probably knew they just used that as an excuse.
SPEAKER_02:Like, all right, if we don't tip where we're from, right?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe, but I I also would write down things and I wouldn't uh I couldn't read my writing. Like that's you're going so fast. Because I like to be honest, like I would sing down like the hallways. I got my manager would complain when I worked at TGI Fridays, I worked at a place called Oregano's, which is a pizza tourist. I love a regos. I worked at Cheesecake Factory. I got fired from all three of those.
SPEAKER_01:Why?
SPEAKER_00:Tardiness attendance. And then um for Cheesecake Factory, um, my manager pulled me into the office and she's like, Look, I don't mean to be a bitch. And I was like, Well, you are. And so that immediately got me fired. So she said I called her a bitch, but like I really disagreed with her statement. Um anyway, it would bother.
SPEAKER_02:It would not surprise me in the slightest.
SPEAKER_00:I just don't think I'm meant for the service industry, and it's not because I think I'm better then, because I really respect waiters and waiters. There's ones, especially at Mel's Diner. Like, there's some ones in there that have there's some forever. Yeah, like 30, 40 years, and they're so good at their jobs. I'm just not I'm just not it's not that's not our gift.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's not my gift. It's not my gift. We're all in that same boat, I think.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you feel me.
SPEAKER_02:Well, when you talked about, you know, being was that uh um at a gay strip club?
SPEAKER_00:It was a gay, it was an all men's nude strip club, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Which leads to this next where we're about to get into because that definitely did kind of uh you know throw you know your life in a little bit of a loop during this next American Adolf life, right? So again, season seven.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I can't imagine. I used to watch a show every week. Love just like watching all the people just wrapped around the building, ready to like have their moment. What was like your first, like your first thoughts, your first memories of and what year was this?
SPEAKER_00:2008.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, 2008.
SPEAKER_00:But I auditioned in 2007.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So it takes a minute to get on the show. We drove to Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego. I had just gotten dropped from my record label at the time I was signed to Universal Bungalow, which is like a real like ghetto label at the time. That, you know, whatever. Um, it was a record deal. It was great. And I and I was getting like a per D, I was getting like a monthly stipend and stuff. So I was like, yeah, I had to quit stripping. Yep. So I was like, all right, well, y'all gonna pay me if I'm gonna quit this lucrative. But anyway, uh, yeah, just they dropped me, they were crazy. And my manager at the time was like, you should all just for American Idol. And I was like, nah, I don't really, that's like gimmicky, whatever. The only person that won that I think is incredible is Kelly Clarkson.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:Um, I was incorrect. There was other people that won that were incredible, but I just had this thing. And so anyway, I smoked weed the whole time with my best friend. We drove like 35 miles an hour, took us like eight hours to get to San Diego. We got there, I auditioned, I made it, and I was like, yeah, whatever, not gonna make the next round. I just kept making it. And I was like, fuck, uh, I might have to put down this joint because shit's getting real.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So I just kept making it and making and making it. And then finally, you know, what you see now is the history of it. Um, it was really cool. It was another one of those traumatizing things mixed with exciting, vigorating, life-changing experiences, you know, all could exist in that one period of time. Um, but it was really damaging when the news of me being gay and being a stripper came out without my and who released these photos?
SPEAKER_02:Like, was it someone just tried to do that?
SPEAKER_00:It was like Perez Hilton, Access Hollywood, and then all the other news outlets just caught on to it. There was no photos. Oh, was it photos? No, there was like, well, there was like one photo of me serving when I served cocktails for a while. But that there was no photos of the strip club because the photos weren't allowed in the strip club. Right. So there was no proof of me being a stripper other than the fact that I was like, yeah, I was a stripper. Oh, and then the the the owner of the strip club went on Access Hollywood and did a whole interview to make more money and sold me out. I think it was like 250 bucks they got paid. Which like I get the hustle. Y'all want a money for your business, which I think really did help their business. Um I think people went to Dick's cabaret intentionally. This is where David Hernandez, and and I think that that, you know, but you know, I can't say that if I was the owner, I wouldn't have did the same shit. Like, you know, but it but at 24, I was like, you know, there was a lot of it was really tough at that particular time because I went home the following week after that story broke.
SPEAKER_02:And you feel like it had anything to do with it at all?
SPEAKER_00:Fuck yeah, it had everything to do with it. Yeah. It it was 2008. I don't think Middle America was ready for a gay former stripper to be their American idol. Yeah, you know, and like back then the culture was so different. Absolutely, you know, this is almost 20 years ago. Yeah, so like to be out and openly gay like that as somebody who wasn't well established, probably not the best thing out the gate, you know. Now it's a lot different, you know, the landscape is a lot different. Um, which I'd like to think that, you know, I've had a little bit to do with that culture shift. Yep. Um, I've always been somebody who is like before my time, you know, in terms of uh that kind of shit, especially.
SPEAKER_02:Uh how close were you to like maybe did it make you want to like walk away like did it wanting to do it? Like when you found out when they when they released this information about you, were you given a heads up or did you like find out? No, no, no, it just dropped. It just dropped.
SPEAKER_00:We had no, not even Fox PR had any idea to the best of my knowledge. It just I woke up that morning because we were taping the show that morning, that afternoon. And I woke up and I had like like a few hundred missed calls, a few, I don't know, at that time, like I think it was like five or six hundred text messages from my a lot from my mom, just like repeatedly calling me. And so it was just kind of blind, I was really, really blindsided by it all. Um, did I want to quit it all? No, not at all. Like I just wanted to keep going even more so. That's one thing about I think about myself is like you tell me no and I'll find like an angle, you know. Well, why? Why is the no? Well, what about this way? What about that way, you know? Unfortunately, when it comes to like popular opinion and council council culture, which we didn't have the language for at that time, right? There's really no way to shift the public opinion other than to keep going and proving yourself over and over again, which I've learned in my career that you're always gonna have to prove yourself, which is exhausting. But I uh it wasn't up to me to go home. And unfortunately, that was pretty, you know. I felt like my dreams were like crushed in that moment.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, for you just being yourself, unapologetically.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, for me just being my weaponized against you. Yeah, but it was a lesson too, and and you can probably attest to it, both of you can probably attest to this. Like, it wasn't about my talent. Right. It was everything to do with the headlines and who people thought that I was. It didn't matter how big a note I hit or what song I sang. Um, so that was a little disconcerting and and and harmful to come to that realization.
SPEAKER_02:Um, back then the judges were was it Simon, Paula, Randy Jackson. What were they like? Like, did you have you know get they were the OG, they were the OG. That's when we would sit and watch those. We'd love to see Simon be an absolute asshole. He was so was he mean to you ever? Like, did he say anything or any of them say anything?
SPEAKER_00:No, he was so cool backstage to me. Just the handful of times that we interacted, he was always like, David, you got great vocals. You know, I like when you sang that song. Uh Paula, same thing. She was probably out of all three of them, my biggest cheerleader. And then Randy was just like the yo dog and just didn't really say a lot besides yo dog. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think till this day.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I remember years later, we were we were talking about like a production deal with him, and he just kind of like ghosted that conversation with my manager at the time. Yeah, it was really interesting. But I think he was signing like everybody. Yeah. So he was just like, whatever, whatever sticks. Um, and then Paula became like a really close like friend of mine. I I saw her a few years ago at Pride, and I have a lot of friends that work with her directly, whether it's like hair makeup or you know, like Josh worked with her. Yeah. So it's interesting. Every time I see her, she's just so sweet all the time.
SPEAKER_04:Are there any uh like behind the stories, yeah, you know, from American Idol that like maybe no one knows that would be fun to share?
SPEAKER_01:Give us the tea, give us the tea.
SPEAKER_00:I think the best part were like the perks, but interesting enough, like um, like all the contestants didn't really get along, like not everybody got along. There was like clicks and stuff like that that I never really felt a part of. It's interesting looking back on it now. Like, I've never been the popular kid in high school, definitely not grade school. I've never been somebody who like is in the cool crowd. Right. So when that started happening during American Idol, like I started, I kind of retreated. I kind of became like really I don't know. Reserved. I get yeah, really reserved like that. And I think people mistake that for being arrogant or I just protecting yourself, yeah. Protection and also like real talk. Like, I'm I'm not an extrovert most of the time. I love being alone, other than being on camera, which I do for a living. Like, yeah, I I love not just like I don't I hate small talk. I fucking hate like I I'll I'll meet I like meeting new people to an extent, but like it's a big ask, you know? Because I am I don't know, I gotta get better about that.
SPEAKER_04:No, you don't. Yeah, I know I don't think you do. I think I think when people do come into your life and you feel a connection with that, then you explore. Well you deserve your energy unless somebody deserves, you know, yeah, deserves to have any of it. Because maybe, yeah, it's it's a lot of energy. It's a lot of energy. When you get older, like we said, it's like my my brain is still like ready to go, but sometimes my body and like paying attention to other people, it's like if I don't care, it's like a book, right? I can't finish a book if I start reading it and I'm like, I don't care.
SPEAKER_02:I can't comprehend a walkout of a conversation and I just don't care.
SPEAKER_04:I can't, I can't comprehend.
SPEAKER_00:I love audiobooks. Audiobooks are my gems.
SPEAKER_04:But I do love like holding a book in my hand. Like I genuinely do love feeling pages in my hand.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but you like smelling them too. Yeah, yeah. I love the way a first book is.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my gosh. I would always go to a library and just like like uh fan the book out and be like, smell it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:No, I'm serious. I love that dude.
SPEAKER_04:Uh at least he's weirdly weird. We're gonna go do that. We'll do a honey's in the wild and we're gonna take her to the library so she can sniff some books. What the hell is wrong with these books?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, while you're at it, it's not like uh sharpie markers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That people are gonna be like that.
SPEAKER_04:We need to help you guys, like what's going on?
SPEAKER_00:They're high.
SPEAKER_02:They're clearly very oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, especially with what you went through with being outed, like it's definitely going to affect how you trust people and who you choose to trust and how much time it takes for you to let people get close to you. Yeah. Um, and you being a gay performer, what is like one thing you really wish like straight audiences understood? Because I know like a lot of people like, oh, he's only for for gay people to listen to. Like, you know, has that been like uh does that no?
SPEAKER_00:I get the opposite.
SPEAKER_02:I get the opposite.
SPEAKER_00:I get the opposite. I get a lot of like I get a lot of you don't really fit into the gay music scene. You fit more into um I think it's I I I mean I've heard from people that it's because my music isn't doesn't cater to the gay community as much as like some other of my peers. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's I think it has a lot to do with also just the way that I perform and just who I am innately, I guess. Yeah. I mean, I'm very gay. But um, but I think I can, but like, I don't know. I think I can also I'm just me. I don't know how uh performer who happens to be gay.
SPEAKER_02:Who happens to be gay?
SPEAKER_00:And I think when I try to break it down and get into like the semantics with like the language of it, I feel like I risk the I risk like offending people who are, you know, who I who identify as as like more feminine or masculine. Like I I have like both capabilities. Like I'm you know, I'm like the full spectrum of things. Sometimes I'm like, Yas queen, you better fucking slave bitch. Other times I'm like, yo, what the fuck's your problem? You know? I think part of that is the way that I grew up in like a in biracial communities as well. Like I'm half white, half Mexican. And so I either went to predominantly white schools or like super like, you know, people of color, like Latinos, blacks, like, and so like I never ever fit in and whatever I did. So I'd have to sort of like walk this line of like I can, you know, be super articulate and like talk you under the table. But I could also be like, yo, let's go, lean with it, rock would it, roll with it? Like, you know. And so I think some of that is also in my music. And so people were kind of like don't know where to place me sometimes, but uh people when they hear me, they they don't know that I'm gay until they like see my Instagram. Wow, he got some sugar in his tank. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, one of my favorite songs of yours is Beautiful. And that song was about your journey, correct?
SPEAKER_00:That song came at a particular time in my journey. I didn't write that song though.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, you did write that song.
SPEAKER_00:I did not write that song. That's that song was written by um Stevie Werner and um Mark Grillio, uh, and it was presented to me through my booking agent. And I actually was reluctant to record it because I didn't write it. Okay. I was like snobby at the time. I'm like, yo, like I write my own stuff. I'm a brooding artist. And then I don't know, like one day my booking agent was like, yo, you shout out to Stephen Ford for suggesting it. But he was like, David, you really need to you know record the song. And I'm like, all right, whatever. So I got in the studio and it was like a fucking full-on therapy session. And I and it's been my biggest song to date. Speaking of which, we drop a reimagined version of it next year for the 10-year anniversary, okay, which is kind of wild. Crazy. Yeah, yeah. This kid Nico the kids producing it. Um, and we're gonna have a special feature on it. So I'm excited about it. But beautiful came beautiful is so interesting because it was it I recorded it from for me, but like it became this sort of anthem in 2016 for other people. I think because of the video. Yeah, the video was like all shapes and sizes.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah, and it's catchy. It's a catchy song. Well, with West Hollywood being, you know, your your home, do you think that it's more of a healing hub for you, especially like the queer community? Or do you do do you find it a little bit more like competitive that you're in this this hub of yours?
SPEAKER_00:I don't find it competitive anymore. I feel like it's like my little bubble that I love to be a part of.
SPEAKER_04:And did you find a moment when that changed? Like because you said anymore.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I found a moment when it changed. Um I think it probably changed a couple of years ago for me when I started not comparing myself to other queer artists and other artists in general. Um that was a really tough time for me because I would get easily offended. I would take everything personal, like if someone didn't come to my shows or if somebody was like pushing this artist and like not me, when clearly I worked so hard, and in my opinion, the song was amazing. Um, but I started to like when you stop taking things personal, which is is a daily practice for me, honestly. I think for everyone. I forget it. Yeah, you get it totally. When I when you stop doing that, then you start to just like live your life and and like and do the things for you or for that little kid, you know? And so I don't know, like West Hollywood feels safe to me. It feels like a home for me. Um I it It's cool to see like the 20 year old, like 20 younger versions of myself or people doing the same thing that I did. You know what I mean? Like playing the same venues around here and stuff that I played. And I think it's cool to watch like the it's like you're you're like reliving your career through like other like younger up and coming people. And I think there's like a like instead of being competitive with those people, I want to be like, yo, ask me any questions.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I was gonna be kind of like not everybody is like that. Right. You've been around for 20 years, you're like, well, you gotta go do the work too. I'm not helping you figure it out yourself. Dog deal with my industry. We're not gatekeeping here.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, we want to help, we want to give advice. We want to that's why we're gonna go to the right. One day when they're on that stage accepting their award and they're like, I'd like to thank David Hernandez for giving me my life.
SPEAKER_00:I told you, I told you what to do.
SPEAKER_04:Do you think if Idol was airing today with social media and all the things, do you think that being gay would be uh an advantage or do you think it'd still be a risk?
SPEAKER_00:Well, Idol is on air today.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, I mean, if you were on Idol today, cancel American Idol is canceled American Idol. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_02:If you were here for you were on American Idol today with social media, do you think that if you were like out in the same way like now versus then, it would be a lot different because it's first of all, if I was on American Idol today, I would fucking win that. Yeah, you wouldn't.
SPEAKER_04:That is what I'm talking about about.
SPEAKER_00:Um, no, I'm just playing.
SPEAKER_04:Could you imagine I just canceled American Idol?
SPEAKER_00:If uh you just ABC's like, well, it is Disney and they kind of went through a thing. But anyway, we'll go get into that.
SPEAKER_03:We won't talk about that, okay?
SPEAKER_00:Um if I if if if I was on American Idol today and the same shit came out that came out then, 100% would probably actually win the show. I don't think it would, I think it would just further my chances because everyone everyone loves a salacious headline. Yeah, you know, we've seen it. We've seen the, you know, what Cardi B used to be a stripper, Channing Tatum, you got people with sex tapes, Kim K.
SPEAKER_02:The whole new world right now.
SPEAKER_00:Paris Hill, you know what I mean? I think it helps. I think it would, and I think that we've, you know, as much as people want to knock how humanity has declined. I I also think that in terms of like the press, like we've come, we've come a little bit of a way. Right.
SPEAKER_02:Now there's more of an opening for that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, totally. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um, well, one of the primary reasons we wanted to bring you on today was to discuss your sobriety journey. And it's been National Sorriety Month and you're gonna feel it all, which I got to be a part of, which is so much. Which is so uh is so good. We were playing it over and over again on the car here. It's such a just like a yeah, it's just a beautiful message that weather, like I think even told us that day, like it doesn't mean it's not necessarily about just your sobriety, it's about whatever you're going through in your life, you know, that's the struggles. Um, but you know, before your sobriety journey, what what was like the defining moment for you that you're like, okay, I'm done with this. Like this, this life, there needs to be a change.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there's so many.
SPEAKER_02:Then they made those many, like there's so many.
SPEAKER_00:And my rock bottom didn't look like what you hear, like out there where you know, where people like burn their lives down or like lose their families or whatever, although my rock bottom was relative and it hurt my rock bottoms. Um, mine was sort of like a flat line. I felt like I wasn't going up or down. It was sort of just this like mediocrity. Um, and then there was obviously like the standout moments like rehab uh rehab in 2018, but I never thought alcohol was a problem. I thought it was pills, Xanax. And then there was like I went into a program and then I got out of it because I was like, I can drink like a gentleman. And it just became I mean, they always say like drinking is fun, then it's fun with problems, and then it's just problems. Yeah, and that's like for me, when they say it's a progressive disease, it was very that for me. Okay, it was very progressive. Like I don't remember it just ever being out the gate awful. Like, I had a lot of fun drinking and drugging. Like I had, I mean, especially in Hollywood being young and famous and like flying around town and meeting boys and going to red carpets and gifting suites and stuff like that. You know, there was a lot of like alcohol involved in that. And it was fun. And then you just get older and things start to sort of derail, you know. I got a DUI, I went to rehab, I fell down a flight of stairs, I broke my toe in Mexico, I got lost in what's like there's just like things where you're like, you look back, and maybe one of those things doesn't seem like a defining moment. Of course. But as you start to really take inventory, which I highly recommend, you start to see a pattern and you start to see that things are progressively getting worse and worse. And if I keep doing this, it's probably not gonna end well. Yeah. Right. And I think a big thing for me at the time was if I wasn't gonna save myself, at least do it for your family and like your loved ones, you know, because people are really concerned about you.
SPEAKER_03:Of course.
SPEAKER_00:And also, like I I was I was like an isolated drinker. Like I would come home and I would drink a lot alone. I I would go out and have shots and stuff. Like we've done that, you know, have martini here, martini there. But what you didn't know is that on my way home, I'd stop at the liquor store and I'd grab a bottle of wine or a bottle of whatever, and I'd go home and I would just drink alone. And as I've got become, you know, through my sober journey, I've realized that like I was just burying a lot of stuff that I hadn't processed. There's a lot in my past about like shame and trauma and amends and resentments that I haven't quite, you know, that I hadn't really flushed out. Yeah. And so once you start doing those things, you start to realize like, oh shit, like I wasn't drinking just to have a good time. Right. I was drinking to bury a lot of stuff. And for me, I just wanted to create a reality that I didn't have to escape. And I think I'm finally in that place, you know, where instead of going and like having a shot of tequila when I'm feeling shitty, I just take a fucking nap.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00:You know, and I know that sounds like oh, soft and like, but honestly, like it's not.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I was gonna say, no, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_00:There's a lot, there's a lot that you just can do on your own if you just try and just do the work. And it's hard. If if it was easy, everybody would be doing it. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and also I just want to, again, being here, being a performer, a lot of your friends are still still drink and go out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:For you, I mean, I've gone out with you, I'm three shots in, and you're sober. I think for me, sober out sounds terrible for me, but you have to figure out a way to like make it work for you. So, how has that been for you? Your your uh partner, he's not sober.
SPEAKER_00:He's not, but yeah. Yeah, he barely does it. But like you make it work, right? Yeah, we make it work, yeah. He's he's like one drink kind of guy. Like he'll go out to dinner and have like spicy margarita, and then he'll have like a glass of red and be like, oh my head, my head's hurting. I'm good on that. Where I'm like, what are you talking about?
SPEAKER_01:Like, go to shot house, you know.
SPEAKER_00:But you're the same way too. I mean, I've been out with you and you, you know, you like, especially when you were working for um the WWE and you had to fly out and stuff, like you would be out with us on like a Thursday and you had to fly out on a Friday, and you're like, hey guys, bye, have fun. And it's like the sun's setting and everybody else is just getting started in here, you know. That would be considered, I think, in my mind, like a normie. Like you're like, yeah, I want to go out and have a good time, but I also have responsibilities, you know. People like myself and like other alcoholics, like, while I've never lost a job or not shown up for a job, like I would show up in pain and suffering, you know. So um, but my my big thing too when I go out sober with people is like, I want to go out with people that are entertaining.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00:You're entertaining, right? You Josh is entertaining. Josh is so funny. People that the if I'm gonna go out to a bar and hang out with you guys and be sober, like at least like tell me a fucking story. Yes. Or make me laugh, or like, let's make each other laugh. Like there's gotta be an energy.
SPEAKER_02:Like, you won't catch me just going to a bar with like some randos to meet up and be like sitting at the bar they're gonna be like, hey, watching the game.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but you give me a camera and some a red carpet and an event. Girl, I'm there. Like, let's go. What's up?
SPEAKER_04:Uh okay. People talk about like the the pink cloud and then the crash.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:What surprised you most about um about life on the other side of substances?
SPEAKER_00:What surprised me the most?
SPEAKER_04:I'm sure there's a lot of surprises. I mean, maybe what's like the one thing that sticks with you where you can look back and say, like, oh, I'm surprised that now I have this and I didn't from that.
SPEAKER_00:That's a really great question. I love that. And the pink cloud, you did your research. Okay. I think the the most surprising thing for me is that I am able to deal with tough feelings and feel it. And feel it. Literally, no pun intended.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's been really eye-opening for me to kind of have to sit through really uncomfortable moments. Sometimes they last for like an hour. Yeah. Sometimes they're as quick as five, 10 minutes. But it's just such a it's a learning curve. It's a learning curve. And when I was like 30, 60, 90 days into it, it was it was hard. Like I, you know, it was kind of crunchy. Like I was like, oh my god, like somebody get me out of myself, you know. And now it's like, all right, we know this is gonna pass. That's probably been the most surprising thing for me. Also, the other surprising thing for me is being in a 12-step program. Um, I when I first showed up to the meetings, I would sit in the back and I just wouldn't talk to anybody with like my hoodie on, you know, and I would just like soak in the information, and people would be like, my life has gotten so big and it's so beautiful, and I just I wouldn't trade this program for the world. And I'd be like, This bitch is fucking crazy. I know she took a pill, she's on something.
SPEAKER_04:Like, there's no way she's sober. There is no way.
SPEAKER_00:I swear to God, you guys, I I would I always thought that. You know? And then now I'm one of those people. It's crazy. Now I'm like, no, I because I, you know, I talk to people all the time, like a couple of younger kids that have called me in the past like few months, and they're just like, hey, you know, they're newly sober, and I'm not their sponsor or anything, but I just give advice. Um and it's interesting because like the one thing that I always say is like, okay, how are you feeling? And they're like, Well, I don't know, my friend texts me and like he's using, and like, I don't know, I feel kind of like, yeah, maybe should I go back to that? And I'm like, well, this feeling's gonna pass. Like, you just you need to just stay on the phone with me. Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's talk, let's talk through it. So if you do decide to go back out, you were, you know, for example, if you were homeless, like, so you're gonna be homeless again. Right now, you're in you're in a sober living, right? So if you do decide to go back out for that quick fuck or that quick drink or that quick use, whatever, then you're gonna be back in the same position. So it's just like, and I do the same thing with myself, like when I'm thinking, like, God, I was just in Vegas, like for longer than I should have been in Vegas as a sober individual who doesn't drink or gamble. Right. And I was like, man, this gala would be so much more fun with a bottle of voof, you know? Yeah. And I'm watching everybody get tipsy around me, and then I'm just like, well, let's play the tape forward, right? So your version of that looks like falling down a flight of stairs, or your version of that looks like getting in a car wreck on the way home from the airport in a hit and run, or your version of that looks like breaking your foot in Mexico or getting lost for six hours in West Hollywood.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Your version of that doesn't look like everybody else's. So stop comparing, get it together, and sit through these tough feelings. It's hard. And at the end of the day, the feeling that I was feeling at this gala in Vegas was am I fun? Am I engaging? Um, do I do I look cute? Do I look uncomfortable? It's all shit that's not real.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That I'm, you know. Yeah. So the thing that I've also realized is that like alcoholism isn't just about putting the drink or the drug down. It's a disease of the mind. It's this overthinking, this, you know, these arguments that I create with people that are are not real, you know, this obsession. Um, I'm super control freak, OCD as fuck. So like getting a hold of that through like therapy and my 12-step program has been really like just it's been really great, you know, for me. But I, you know, I don't know, like sitting through feelings is tough, man.
SPEAKER_01:Well, y'all know how that goes.
SPEAKER_00:Everybody knows how that goes.
SPEAKER_02:It is tough.
SPEAKER_00:How do you reconcile that? Like, you know?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you write, which is what you which is what you do going back to the feel at all, it can be so vulnerable. Um, I'm so I'm so fascinated by musicians and artists and writers because I can't do any of that stuff at all. I'll write a poem here and there and then I'd throw it away. It's terrible. But um, what were like the first lines of melodies that like kind of like popped off? Like what was that process like putting the song together?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Literally the first line was uh, oh am I without the substances? Who am I without the sex? No, David, don't say that. That's too no, like you're saying the things that like people don't talk about. Like that's ooh, that's vulnerable. Yes, very.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, I can relate to that 100%. I mean, anyone can. Yeah, I mean, think about that. When you know I'm like, okay, I'm gonna take a couple weeks off of you know, drinking or take a month off drinking. And I think one of the first concerns of mine is then who am I? What were my friends think? You know, like what's my personality there? Am I gonna do that?
SPEAKER_00:You feel that way because you're not an alcoholic. I think everyone I think I rely on it like so.
SPEAKER_02:I feel like I need it to be social, to be that person that people expect from me. I think that's kind of where I the hell I am.
SPEAKER_00:See, I love hearing that too, because it also, you know, I still feel othered a lot, you know. So when you say that, it makes me feel not that as much. Because like you're we're we're not the same, but like we are, right? That's interesting. Because it's I don't know. I just feel like sometimes when you are that vulnerable, people can weaponize it. Oh, absolutely. So like I just didn't when I wrote that, I was like, let's think of something else more palatable. You know, so I did there's so many different iterations of that song. Yeah. Um, I said, Who am I without the messiness? Who am I without the and there was like another line instead? And then I was like, but like it sounds so watered down, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, I like you're trying to kind of like center fit into a that was not the intention of the song.
SPEAKER_04:You wanted people to be like, oh, you know, but I also think people these days want raw, right? It's like we talk about like TikTok and and maybe not Instagram, but like even TikTok at least, like people want the real you. They want you to talk to the phone like you're talking to us on FaceTime. And and you know, they they just they we fiend for realness because I think a lot of times in this world right now, people are starting to realize the cracks in certain realms of our world where like people don't tell the truth. Yeah. And so, like, what do you believe? What can you believe? Right. But like you being so vulnerable and raw in that moment, it's like, oh yeah, that's real shit. Yeah, you know what I mean? And like in the video, the video shows your mom and like real people in recovery. Your sponsor love him, so funny. Was that your idea? Like, what was the video concept? Was that you, all you, where you're like, I want these real people in here because I want them to feel what I'm feeling?
SPEAKER_00:It was collaborative for sure. I had the concept initially to have like black and white, like quick, like um like frames of people, you know, like Kayla, yeah, like John and my mom. And then just to kind of have that. But then as I talked to like John and I talked to like my publicists, they were like, they had other ideas for creating like a recovery circle. Because for me, like I didn't want to, you know, it the program's about anonymity, but also like um, it's up to you to decide like if you want to be a part of the video and share that experience. And the truth is is that like there are programs out there for people, and so I wanted to show that like there's a community, yeah. Um, and my mom initially didn't want to be a part of it because she was just like, I don't know, I don't I don't I don't look great on camera right now.
SPEAKER_02:My mom's always like the first project where she's been involved in, like as far as being honest.
SPEAKER_00:It's the first one that she's yeah, it's the first music video uh after all the videos I've done. And I was like, it's really important to me. Can I just book your ticket? And then if you decide when you get here to not be a part of it, you can just say no.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and knowing that she would find her up to you around everybody, your community, and your friends probably made it like, oh wow, like even more of a realization, how special and important this was for her to be a part of that.
SPEAKER_00:I think so. It was really important to have her there and have her in it and just meet everybody and stuff because she's just like as much as she thinks she's a source of the pain, she's a source of the love of everything in my life, you know, and those things can also exist at the same time. Parents aren't perfect. Um, so it was cool to have that. And then I asked Kayla to be a part of it because I know a little bit about your history. Um, and I thought it was like, even though your the substance abuse isn't a part of it, you still have other things that you've overcome that are so powerful, like your story. I don't know if you've ever shared it on your podcast.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, we did we didn't have to be a good idea. We did, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I need to watch that. I just I remember sitting down with you at Oura Bar and having martinis and talking about your mom and talking about you being adopted and just like having that conversation. And I was just so like, I I wanted the conversation to continue. And what a better way to continue it than to have you be a part of a video that was about surviving like the trauma and still surviving it, you know? And like absolutely, I don't know. I guess it was it's really it was cool to have everybody in that video was somebody who was a survivor of something.
SPEAKER_04:Of something, of something, yeah. What's on the part of it? What's one myth about sobriety that you would love to like destroy that people think that relapse isn't a part of your story?
SPEAKER_00:Just so many people out there that never come back to the program or that die or that go back into their addiction full on because they're afraid to admit that they messed up used again. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That's great though, because I think, yeah, especially if you're someone who's hard on yourself, there's already such a difficult journey to be on. Yeah, well, I guess it's not for me. So, you know, yeah, I failed. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And I mean, you have a great relationship with your partner, but like what's what's some advice that you would give to somebody who is going through sobriety, but maybe their partner isn't.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Well, um, thankfully, my partner grew up with alcoholism in his family and he got to witness it firsthand. Um, I do recommend Al-Anon for people that are dealing with like a partner or a loved one who's going through active abuse because you get to understand the language around the recovery programs and you get to understand a deeper, you get a deeper understanding of like the behaviors of somebody going through an addiction. It's not like this malicious choice to burn their lives down and in turn tur tear yours down. Right. It really is a disease. And if you treat it like it's cancer, then you'll understand that it also needs love and support and affection and community and a good, you know, just a good system around you to help facilitate that like growth.
SPEAKER_04:And even cancer sometimes relapses, right? It's like you you go through chemo. Yeah, so that's a perfect way to put it. Yeah, thank you for that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:I know, we really are. I know you gotta try something down, but I'm well, you know, looking back at your you know, entire journey, kid from Arizona, American Idol, being out at sobriety. Um, for those who don't know you, want to get to know you, what do you think the single like most misunderstood thing is about about you?
SPEAKER_00:Most misunderstood thing about me.
SPEAKER_02:Or that might you know could be misunderstood if someone just like doing a quick Wikipedia search about who's David Hernandez. Yeah, you know?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:You're just like all of us. Okay, he's been on the big TV. He's just like he's one of us.
SPEAKER_01:No, just I am just one of you. If I if I could get me, I bleed.
SPEAKER_04:Not literal, no, just kidding. Right.
SPEAKER_00:I'm trying to think now. Okay, well, here, I'll just be raw with it. Um I'm a supervisor for a telemedicine company right now. I work from home nine to five. I manage a team of like 22, 23 people. That's my side hustle. I started during the pandemic. Um, and then I also do my acting gigs. I do my music on the side. I great actor, by the way.
SPEAKER_02:I love when you send me clips of like all the different stuff you're doing.
SPEAKER_00:We'll talk about the horror film coming out next month, too. Oh my god, and we're doing a watch party, right? Um I think people probably don't understand that like I don't right now make a living off of just my art and that I am an extremely like disciplined, focused person on trying to sustain myself, put food on the table, pay my rent. Yeah. And so I do all these things. And I think people looking on the from the outside, looking in, probably think like, oh, he had this stint on American Idol, he's been working and touring ever since, and like there are no problems, and that's couldn't be any further from the truth. Yeah, you know, I wake up every day at 6 30 in the morning, I clock into this job, I manage these people, they're great people, but it wasn't what I was born to do, right? But I'm doing it because like that's what I have to do, you know, and it funds my art. This video costs a lot of money. This video costs a lot of fucking money. Yeah, and it wasn't the people that were in it because they were they were donating their time. Yeah. Hi. But uh who do you think paid for that?
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_00:You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Me. And I didn't really get any help. My partner helped, my friend Tommy Jurassi helped. I have a few people that threw in some extra cash here and there that helped pay for craft services. But for the most part, I funded this entire thing and it took, you know, nine months of saving that money. You know, things aren't I'm not just like out here on the big screen, like out here on these sold-out fucking tours. You know, sometimes I show up to a show and there's five people there. Yeah, yeah, you know, and I'm like, fuck, like I should have done more promo. Well, that's not the problem. It's just that some people don't know who the fuck I am. Yeah. That's humbling. I'm humbled on a daily, you know what I mean? Every time I sign into that job, I'm like, humble.com.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think that is such an important, you know, aspect of your life to share to people because yeah, it's smoke and mirrors. You know, be let people see what you want them to see on social media. And people think, no, my life is so glamorous from what you know, red carpets or whatever. Like, no, bro, I I'm broke. Like, I feel like it's hard out here. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, by now, at my age, I would love to be driving around a Range Rover that I paid for.
SPEAKER_01:Of course.
SPEAKER_00:I would love to live in a house in the hills. That's that's what I had in mind for sure. That's where I thought I would be by now.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:But I'm not there. Absolutely. But instead, I get to be sober, I get to create art, I get to remember everything. I get people around me that love me, a partner who is the most supportive motherfucker in the entire life. I've never met. I have a cute ass dog. I have friends like you. Like, there's just so much gratitude. So when there's so much gratitude, I don't have time to sit here and be like, woe is me. I don't have a thing. Because honestly, there's still time.
SPEAKER_03:Of course.
SPEAKER_04:There's still here. You're still breathing. Yeah, we're still, yeah, we're still young. And we're still young.
SPEAKER_00:Some people and the goalpost is changing sometimes too. Like, there's things that I'm discovering that I want to do that I didn't really think I wanted to do when I was six years old, you know. Exactly. I mean, you know, like you might have started off as a model, but look what you're doing now.
SPEAKER_03:Right. Right.
SPEAKER_00:There, you're doing so many other things. You know what I mean? And same for you.
SPEAKER_04:Like, it's there's so many hats that everyone is able to put on and be successful in. So like you've shown that. So that's amazing. If someone right now was, you know, going through their rock bottom, what is one advice, piece of advice of action that you would tell them to do?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I would say hold on and pick up the phone and tell somebody. You have to share it with somebody, first and foremost. You have to, because the only thing this disease wants you to disease wants you to do is to isolate and die.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_00:That is the main goal of any sort of addiction, uh, drug or alcohol, is it just wants you to be alone, not tell a soul and just die. So the only way to get out of that, the opposite of addiction is community. So pick up the phone, call somebody. If they don't have an answer, they know someone who knows someone who knows someone who has the answer. And just for me, if you're in the Los Angeles area, the West Hollywood Recovery Center is fantastic. You can also slide into my DMs. I will push you in the right direction. I'll hop on the phone with you myself, like at d Hernandez Music's my Instagram, or you can, yeah. I mean, it's it's there's so many um resources as you saw with the music video. We had different nonprofits that uh endorse the video that are available for that sort of thing as well, like the 988 Hotline, the Trevor Project, Translatina Coalition.
SPEAKER_02:And send me those too, because I'm gonna put I'll put something in the video just so people can reference it and like you know, oh yeah, for sure. So yeah. Um all right, well, let's fast forward 20 years besides your souped up like Land Rover, Range Rover, the internet. House in the hell. What else do you hope your your legacy is musically, professionally? Um big big tour. Okay, the horror movie. Yeah, the horror movie.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, the well, the horror, yeah. The horror movie drops uh yeah at the end of October.
SPEAKER_02:On Tubi, right?
SPEAKER_00:On Tubi. It's gonna be for part of the terror on Tubi week.
SPEAKER_02:Can we say what you're doing? Like, I don't know how much you're allowed to get.
SPEAKER_00:No, I can't tell you what I have, but it you'll be like shocked.
SPEAKER_02:It's great, it's a way she hates horror movies, but she'll definitely watch this one. She's so scared. I'm getting better in horror. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe this will change your mind.
SPEAKER_04:I'm watching during the day so far. Like right now, I'm watching horror films during the day. It's it's it's beginning there.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_02:Maybe it's like I watched the substance, but with the with the blinds and the light phone. But I said that wasn't a scary movie. No, it wasn't. It actually wasn't. But it wasn't sure. Psychological. Yeah, but yeah, so what's what do you hope? Weapons is great. And we're gonna go see the new black phone. I made her watch Black Phone because we have the premiere coming out for the second one.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, God, it looks yellow.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but yeah, 20 years from now, you're sitting back here with us. What do you hope you're saying to us?
SPEAKER_00:20 years from now, uh my wish is to have already been or currently on a uh to be a series regular in a in a hit show on whatever streaming platform it is at that time or or network, um, to have also been in a movie or two. Yeah, and to have done like one consistent tour, like for a period, like you know, like I want to do like 20, 30 cities in a row during a summer of just my original music with my band. That'd be really cool.
SPEAKER_02:I love that.
SPEAKER_00:That's kind of where I see it right now.
SPEAKER_02:I think it's gonna happen. I think it's gonna happen. All right, so we're gonna do a quick little lightning round with you before we sign off. We'll do this real quickly. Okay first favorite non-year songs, the song that's not yours that you like to sing live or perform.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, okay. Probably, oh my god. Right now it's been like Tennessee whiskey or Tennessee whiskey.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, hey, we're gonna backup singing. I can't do that.
SPEAKER_00:Or like feeling good. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I love that you're out of. I've heard you sing that, but you've heard me sing that before. I have. Yeah, so your voice. You have such a soulful voice. I'm like, he's got some black and this week.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, most ridiculous wardrobe moment on stage. Most ridiculous ridiculous wardrobe moment on stage. Probably the zipper down.
SPEAKER_00:The zipper down happens to me more often than I like to admit. Always.
SPEAKER_04:And she's just staring at the audience.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and like I don't wear underwear a lot. Like, because I find it really confining around my waistline.
SPEAKER_04:So I just staring at them something.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they're like, yo, you gotta like if you poke them out and what's going on. I would hope it would be I would hope that if it was out, it would be more of a spectacle. Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:If we see them yellow, we're at a show, we'll just be like, Zimmer Dick! Yo, dick, it's out. Third eye's out, third eye. Okay, what a song that always makes you cry when you hear it.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god, there's so many.
SPEAKER_02:I know. It's like thinking like mine. I think one of my yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I love Gratitude by Brandon Lake. That's a great Christian like song that I'm not even religious, but there's just certain Christian songs where I'm just like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you feel it.
SPEAKER_00:Um, yeah. The acoustic version of Porcelain by Jojo. Okay. That's really beautiful. And there's so many like James Blake songs that are so beautiful. Like the song called Retrograde. Oh, so beautiful, yeah. We're gonna laugh. I'm also like a B side list listener of like growing up, I used to always flip over the album and I listened to like the last song. Right. Because I want I knew that that's where like the heart of the album would be. So all the song I reference, the the rep the songs that I reference typically are like obscure, like ones that although people know James Blake his stuff really well.
SPEAKER_04:I love that. Um, celebration ritual now that you're sober.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. What is that? Anything sweet.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I'll do a brownie and ice cream. You can get cheesecake's my favorite kind of cake. Yeah. Well, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Like, oil, she no, no.
SPEAKER_00:Anything, anything sweet. I also like, I came home last night from a gig I had in Santa Monica. We didn't finish until like midnight, and I got home and me and Derek ordered. Don't judge.
SPEAKER_02:I'm not. I'm probably gonna Taco Bell.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that's you know, that's my I got a bean burrito and two hard tacos.
SPEAKER_02:Jimmy, Josh. I think that's like our favorite.
SPEAKER_00:Like that is, I remember the cake you got, him.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but Taco Bell or McDonald's. That's it. Last but not least, um, I imagine you get some weird DMs. Are there like some weird ones?
SPEAKER_00:Well, let me let's let's talk about it.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Which ones? Oh, you need to talk about it?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like what's your weird?
SPEAKER_00:I look like the someone said the other day I look like a gay MM, the gay MM.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I love that. I mean great face.
SPEAKER_00:I honestly I think Eminem's hot. I believe and his talent makes him even that much hollow.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_00:So but I do get a lot of people asking for feet for like feet pictures.
SPEAKER_04:Wanna join in? We might I think we're gonna start. We're gonna start an only for the feet. Listen, just because like why not?
SPEAKER_00:I'm not gonna lie. During the pandemic, I there was some things that I did. Yeah. Um, and and I don't I don't think the feet are like a and just the way the society's seeming like this.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, it's my feet. Like, there's so there's a wiki wiki feet. Yeah, yeah. There's hundreds of our photos of our feet that we didn't even know were on there. I didn't even know that it existed.
SPEAKER_00:Isn't there like a foot app too? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:There is a foot app that we're gonna get on. I think we just do it. We just do it. Maybe our rent's paid now.
SPEAKER_00:You can make some money. I know.
SPEAKER_02:We keep talking about it. We just need to do it. Like maybe says do it. But we do a photo shoot where like pouring honey and milk a little food.
SPEAKER_00:That would no, for real, though.
SPEAKER_02:Just sell it, just like just like doing clothes and rage videos. Like, let's see what happens.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like there is some man out there in the mid in middle America that will 100% pay top dollar for that. Because I bet it it's gonna look really pretty, too. I bet you have pretty much it.
SPEAKER_04:We're gonna make it like toe milk beautiful.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Well, David, um, I love you. I really appreciate you coming on the show. I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much for being so open. Uh, where can people stream? Feel it all, follow you, support your work. And I already said your handle a minute ago, but just to remind people.
SPEAKER_00:All digital streaming platforms, uh, feel it all is available. It's also the music videos on YouTube. Let's rack up those views. Um my Instagram's at d Hernandez Music. So is my Twitter and my threads and my websites, officialdavithernandez.com. Love it. But just, I mean, I think Instagram is mostly like where I kind of live. So just hit me up, sign into my DMs, follow me. Follow you back.
SPEAKER_04:Send some weird DMs we can talk about it. Yes, exactly. Um, and and if you're listening and struggling with addiction, we'll put some resources uh in the show notes so that everybody And just like you said, don't feel ashamed to tell somebody or ask for help if you actually need it.
SPEAKER_00:Totally, yeah. The opposite of addiction is community, like I said. So just reach out.
SPEAKER_02:Reach out. Well, thanks everyone for tuning in. Uh, make sure you guys subscribe, rate, uh, and send this episode to someone that you think may need to hear it. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:And remember, you guys, like we are the best ingredients that go into your D button sometimes. We bring in another ingredient, you know, to make it that extra a little spice. A little spice. You know, we will see you guys next meet. See you next time. Bye guys. Bye.
