Milk & Honeys
Milk & Honeys" is the perfect blend of raw industry insights and unfiltered realness. Like the ingredients that sweeten and smooth out a cup of tea, hosts Kayla Becker (TV host of 10 years) and Vanessa Curry (model and actress of 10 years) bring their own flavors to the conversation— Together, they spill the tea on what it really takes to live and thrive in LA’s entertainment scene.
So, grab a mug and sip on some Milk & Honeys—because we’re serving the tea with all the right ingredients.
Milk & Honeys
Talk Turkey to Me — A Milk & Honeys Thanksgiving
A Thanksgiving episode that starts with turkey-costume chaos and hangover giggles, then lands in real gratitude thanks to Showering Love, a Fort Lauderdale nonprofit offering showers, laundry, and care to people experiencing homelessness—especially veterans. We swap stories about the messy beauty of the holiday: over-the-top menus, road trips with cats, eating alone without apology, and the comfort of garlic-heavy mashed potatoes and questionable cranberry sauce.
We get honest about the hard stuff too—political grenades at the table, navigating dry households, setting boundaries, and loving people from a healthy distance. It’s about rest, softness, and choosing what actually nourishes you.
If you’re cooking solo, carrying family emotions, grieving, or quietly rebuilding, this one’s for you. Come for the laughs; stay for the grounding tools, tiny blessings, and a reminder to ask someone, “Tell me something good.”
Hello, everybody, and gabble gabble milk and honeys listeners. Welcome back to the show. We're your hosts, Kayla Becker and Vanessa Curry. You look so good right now.
SPEAKER_01:You do too. I love like you guys, these we got these for obvious foods. Are we like bat? I feel like bat wings. Yeah, I don't know if turkeys actually like have these, but this right here is uh ball sapping. I just I would like to talk to the manufacturing company because I just like this doesn't make sense, but I'm gonna roll with it. Just roll with it. Just good up.
SPEAKER_00:There you go. Oh man, it is yeah, Thanksgiving, which is crazy that we're already on our second to last holiday of the year.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's insane. Yes, it is literally insane. How are you doing?
SPEAKER_00:I'm good. I am good. We are a little hungover today because we celebrate the day before Thanksgiving. But what isn't it called something? People like get hammered on Wednesdays before the Thursday of Thanksgiving. It's like a tradition because a lot of people go home to see their families. Right. And then they like connect with all their high school friends and go to the local bars and the watering pools. I think it's like a Friendsgiving, probably. It's called like Wasted Wednesday.
SPEAKER_01:No, that's not Wasted Wednesday.
SPEAKER_00:Every Wednesday.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, sounds like every Wednesday here.
SPEAKER_00:Well, how are you? I know you had a little family vacation recently.
SPEAKER_01:I did. I went to Fort Lauderdale uh to go visit my family, and I hadn't seen them physically in 11 years uh since my sister's wedding, which is crazy. Uh I got to visit my a hundred-year-old great aunt who is in like pristine health condition, minus she does have dementia. So, so you know how old is she? 100. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:She's allowed to have if I was 100 and I didn't have dementia, I'd at least pretend that I did. Right. So yes, that we could remember things. I wish I could see that now, to be honest.
SPEAKER_01:But like it was, it was so great. Like she's still in such good spirits, even though sometimes she forgets certain things. And um, my auntie Carol, she's just amazing. She introduced us to a woman named uh Jeannie Alba, who is the founder of Showering Love, which uh provides a variety of critical services to families, women, men, and children who are experiencing homelessness uh with a special focus on veterans. And they provide showers on the bus. They have uh two ADA compliant buses that are equipped with laundry facilities, medical examination rooms, and even a barber station. So um they come, they take care of people who are unhoused at the moment and try to help them get off their feet. Uh Jeannie herself was uh um unhoused for many, many years. And now she owns this nonprofit, and it's just amazing. So cool. And uh she has so much love and around the community. They have kids around the neighborhoods uh create lunch bags, brown paper bags. They decorate them depending on what like when what time of the year it is. And um, Bomba is one of their sponsors. She gets free uh underwear, bras, socks, so that people come when they shower, they can do their laundry there on the bus, which is crazy. We'll cut to a clip because I went to go see it, and it was amazing. So if you haven't heard of it, look her up. They're they're doing wonderful things and helping the community, and she's the only one. Um, and it was really cool. It was really cool to take my niece, who's nine years old, to just show her something different, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And like the way people give back. Absolutely. And like those are like things that like we take for granted, which is so cool. You kind of went right in this like this the season of thanks because you know, we all have showers and uh the ability to wash our clothes and things that we, you know, do every day and take for granted. So that's really great that she's providing that for people who otherwise wouldn't have be able to.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and she said when she was um living on the streets, the only thing that she really wanted that it was so difficult to get was a shower. Yeah. Uh and just to clean herself. Um, and she's she's incredible. I met with her, she's an amazing woman. She won't take any credit. She's just like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, you know? And uh it's really awesome. They do have an Amazon link that we will share. And if you are feeling, you know, yeah, feeling a little gracious this holiday season. You can go and help her uh purchase some things that she needs. And uh yeah, it was just really awesome. All of us being able to go and and give the sandwiches to her and get a tour and all these things. Excuse me, my phone is not on silence. How dare we? So unprofessional. So unprofessional. Oh my gosh, I'm blowing up. What is happening? Oh my gosh. But yes, so I I was able to do that, and that was really awesome just to spend time with my family on a lake, but also, you know, get to know this person who does amazing things. And my auntie Carol, she um does a lot of things when it comes to veterans uh and donations and giving her time to the community. So it was really cool.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I loved it. Good. Well, yeah, like go check out that link and yeah, if you feel compelled, donate and at least check her out and see what she's all about. Yeah. Well, yes, the season of thanks. You know, it's funny that we like get to Thanksgiving, like, oh, now we're supposed to be thankful when we should be thankful all year round, but I guess it's a good reminder. Right. But let's talk Thanksgiving. Gobble gobble. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? You're gonna hit the road and head to see your family in the bay. I am.
SPEAKER_01:I'm going to the Yay area this week, and I'm so excited. Uh, I drive because I have two cats and they have to come with me, Romy and Michelle. Roman have to come. Uh, I used to be able to fly with them in one carrier when they were kittens, but they're too big now. So you only get one. And I, it's just they're more comfortable driving. They I let them roam the car. Like they own the car.
SPEAKER_00:Do you sleep while you're they with the car?
SPEAKER_01:They do. Uh they do, but they have their moments where they're just like roaming, walking around the car. Oh, yeah. That would scare the hell out of me. No, I love it. They're not allowed down in the cockpit. You know what I mean? Like where the pedals are. Or hang out in the pasture seat, come say hi mom. They can sit on my lap. Like some like Michelle likes to perch over and look outside the window, see what's going on.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, but I'm excited. What's your family uh Thanksgiving traditions like? Are you are do you are you gonna help cook or is that gonna be taken care of by your family?
SPEAKER_01:My sister is the queen of Thanksgiving. Okay. This is her, this this is her Olympics. Like she she's preparing for this. Oh, yeah. She has her menu. She has her binder that she opens up every year. All the pages have, you know, stains from the year before of her cooking, and you know, all the love is in those pages. And um, her turkey is just Yeah, she she got.
SPEAKER_00:I've never attempted to make a turkey, and I've that's like terrifying. It's an intimidating piece of meat to make.
SPEAKER_01:I'm just there when she needs me. Um, I make the mashed potatoes. There you go. That's the sweet potato casserole. Okay, those are your two? Yeah. Do you put marshmallows and pecans and the sugar thing on top? I'm not a huge pecan person, but I do put marshmallow and what did you say? The brown sugar, like the butter. Oh, yeah, girl. So good. Oh, yeah. What about you?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I'm gonna just chill here. I I like to spend holidays by myself and people don't realize that. I just I've always kind of just liked it's like a day to just be alone. Um, maybe I'll order a rotisserie chicken or something. Um, but yeah, growing up though, it's really big of my family because I come from a giant family with all these siblings, and like our grandparents would come down to Alabama, and then my dad was the cook. I like to cook, but he would not let us in the kitchen during the Thanksgiving if I get the hell out. I can help prep the onions the day before. Sure, dad, you're welcome. I'll do that. I'll do like the hardest thing. But he is like the best freaking cook, and I hate stuffing. I've always hated stuffing. I will only eat his because it's so freaking good. But yeah, it was always a big, big thing in my family. I love that. Is it is it still like a big thing for them? Oh, yeah. Okay. They they they throw down the holidays, which is a big like eating day. Yes, and they like go full force into it.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. I definitely, yeah, I give my my sisters the queen. Like, like I said, I help where whenever she needs my help, but she's she's in it in like Thanksgiving morning. We always watch the Macy's Day Parade. Okay, and then we watch the dog show. And so during all of that, we like crack open some wine and like we start cooking, and it's just, I love it. It's very special. Like her, my dad used to be the one that would really prep and do all the cooking for Thanksgiving. And so when he passed, my sister kind of like took the torch. I mean, she took the torch over before he passed. Like he was just preparing. She was almost like he was like giving her, and then we started doing it at her house instead of my parents' house, you know. So yeah, it's fun. It's nice.
SPEAKER_00:Do y'all start like decorating for Christmas right after? Like my mom, as soon as like everyone leaves the house, they're putting up decorations.
SPEAKER_01:I'm already decorated for Christmas. Oh, you're already decorated. Yeah, like right after Halloween, I was like, you know what? Too early. I mean, we already have Black Friday sales. I'm like, I'm putting up my Christmas tree. And because I'm I'm not really here during that time. So the amount of time I am here at my house, I you want to come home. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Well, speaking of Black Friday, that's one thing we I would always do. Um, my town, there's not much going on in Wadley, Alabama. If you hung out, you'd hang out like in the parking lot of the gas station or of Walmart. And so Black Friday would come around. Me and my friends would drive 15 minutes down the road to Walmart. We would bring tents and we would camp out because we wanted to be first in line to get all the good stuff for Black Friday. Right. And then we would get in there. People were like fighting. I mean, like I got like knocked out over a not really, but this woman like attacked me over a griddle. And a griddle? A griddle, which I never opened. It was like a griddle. And then there's one guy peeing in where the the plants are to distract, to get like security run after him, to distract his friends to steal stuff. It was a really great tradition. Wow, okay.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, I I'm I've definitely gone to the malls on Black Friday, but I've never experienced it.
SPEAKER_00:You should come do a good old country Black Friday at the Wally World. I'm good. I'll watch it on the news or my TikTok. Um well, uh, I think, like I said, it's all year round we should be expressing gratitude, but it is always a good reminder to sit down and think about things that we are grateful for. So we're gonna do a couple little things like that in this episode. So oh, we're talking about some like three small gratitudes for us. You think of yours as well. So do you have three on the top of your head that you can that you think of?
SPEAKER_01:Um there is definitely one where we've talked about this before when someone does hand you a in the morning, even when I was in Fort Lauderdale, it's like I my uncle would come and like get me my coffee, and it's just like that warm cup in your hand. Yeah, it just makes you feel yummy and it's it's morning, and you're waking up and it's warm, and like they had a lake view, so like just that simple as that. And that's what I always tell people. It could be a cup of coffee in the morning that's simple to have gratitude for.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Um, what about you? Water pressure, you know, it's kind of the same, same kind of theme. Like wake up in the morning and it's cold because it is cold for some reason in the mornings in LA, although I've cranked up my thing like 75 degrees, but getting in that hot, hot shower she talked about earlier, like the thing we take for granted that we have a shower to get into. Yes, it's so and hot water. Hot water, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because I I remember I've visited places before and like you didn't have hot water, and you you went in there and took that shower real quick. There was no salivating in the hat, and then you're shivering all the way to like and then I I'm I'm washing, I usually wash my hair like maybe once or twice a week. And at that point, you're washing it maybe like once every two weeks. Yeah, avoiding it as long as possible.
SPEAKER_00:Uh Uber Eats, you know, or you know, I like having food delivered to me. I like to we like to cook, but I like to be lazy and have the ability to get on my phone and just like order Taco Bell whenever I want to.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. Uh, we always ask people to text us when they get home after a late night. And most of the time people don't. Um, but it is really nice. And I I love when people actually text me when they're home after a night. Even if I forget, it's always nice just to for me to be able to heart it. I'm like, oh, okay, they're safe, they're home. I forget to do it sometimes too, but I try. Yeah, I'm pretty good at it. I feel like I'm really bad at it. You're very bad at it. I have to text her and say, hey, did you make it home? And then yeah, she doesn't respond, and I'm like, okay, this is why we need each other's locations. You know, I just need to make sure she's in the hype.
SPEAKER_00:No, I have my location. You have my location? No. Hell, how do I turn that off? I am not gonna tell you that. I'll figure it out after this. Um, I'm thankful for people who laugh at my joke before I've even finished it to just validate how funny I am. So me. Yeah. So she's thankful for me because that's what I do. You do. You do make you do make a funny girl or even a not funny girl feel funny.
SPEAKER_01:I know. And sometimes, like, I like I need that. It's funny. I joke with Ozzie, my boyfriend, all the time, and I'm like, I I say, hey, Google, good morning, and every morning my Google will give me a dad joke. Oh, god. And sometimes they're just so good. It's like, it's like, why did uh the I don't know what it was. Killed it! Yeah, I killed it. Hold on, I don't remember it. This morning, it's so funny, right? It was really funny, actually, but I can't remember what it was this morning. She'll remember it and we'll post it on Milton Handy's Instagram. Yes, absolutely. But yeah, it's like just laugh at it. I know it's not that funny, but like give me a little validation.
SPEAKER_00:Um, it's it is fun like to see that sometimes like the smaller gratitudes kind of are more impactful sometimes than the bigger ones. We walked around Wee Hill, we're gonna post that these videos, um, asking people what they were thankful for. And people always resort to the same ones, which is great. It's like I'm happy or I'm thankful for my friends and my family, which I love because I think that's an easy one to do. But like you really have to sometimes sit and think about those really small things that we take for granted, um, that not everybody gets to, you know, experience and I know relish and people get scared to say what they're really thankful for if it doesn't have to do with family, right?
SPEAKER_01:If like I think it's like selfish or yes, where it's like if you asked me, I'd be like, oh, I'm thankful for you know, gaining more courage this year and and releasing a little bit more of my like fearful energy and letting that go. Like that is that's that's genuinely something that I am thinking. I'm I of course always thankful for my family, my friends, my circle, my authentic relationships. But I even was like, are you thankful to be going home for Thanksgiving? Because I know a lot of people, it is way more stressful than like Troy Fall. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:Like the time you get there, you're just ready to kill everybody. Then you get around the dinner table and everyone decide to talk about their political views and you're running off two hours of sleep.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, or it's like, you know, you have a family member who's like, it's a joke like that in in my family, where it's like this person would always say, Oh my god, like you're so brown. And I'm like, You mean tan? Like, wait, what? Yeah, she would like there's somebody that would always one and say, like, oh my god, like you're so brown. Your skin is just like say tan, glowy, right, bronze. And then I wanted to be like, oh my god, you're so pale. You're so pale. Like, that's crazy. How do you get like that? You know? It's just so funny. How do you get so pale?
SPEAKER_00:Are you a vampire? Did you not go out in the sun this year? Isn't that funny though? But like families, it's like always like during the holidays that we're supposed to be enjoying each other, but there's gotta be at least one person to like ruin it, like say some stupid shit at the table. That's also sometimes where I don't like to go home. Because I have very different like views to the rest of my family. Right. And they always want to say something to set me off, and then I have to like walk away.
SPEAKER_01:And that's the thing, like, I've learned meshing uh, you know, like I don't have a lot of family anymore. There's about five of us left. So like I don't have that many. But you know, obviously, we celebrate with my my brother-in-law's family as well. So meshing those different energies together is is always tricky. You know, like there's always gonna be someone's gonna say something, but at the end of the day, I've just realized just to laugh it off. Because like, there's no point. Like, I'm full, I want turkey, go lay down, mashed potatoes, I want stuffing, and I want to go to sleep and take a nap, and then I want to wake up and eat again again. Yeah, we see how much we can eat.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, how much, yes. Um, but yeah, I will miss going home this year, but I'll go home for Christmas and get to see everybody and see all the siblings. Does it snow where you're from? No, I mean, like it has kind of like our snowmen were made mostly of pine straw, which is some snow helping it stick together. Got it. But no, not really. I didn't even see snow probably until I was like a preteen.
SPEAKER_01:I know.
SPEAKER_00:We should have, we should, well, should have. We still have time. We should see the snow. I can see it on the television.
SPEAKER_01:I know, but it's so fun to stick your feet in and like.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, I've I've gone like skiing before. Were you good at it? No, I did the bunny slope once, fell down, and said, Fuck this. I'm going to the lodge. I'm gonna drink some whiskey, text me and y'all are done. But it looks really cute in my snow outfit. My little snow outfits. I took all the little pictures on the slope at, you know. Yeah, as long as you have photos, a proof of it, that it looks like it's like I'm seeing these little like five-year-olds just like whizzing down around me, jumping with how are you falling down? It's getting right back up. My thing with skiing, it's like, it's always like drop-offs on like how do people not just fall off the side of the mountain?
SPEAKER_01:I I understand that I've tried both, and I've never been taught properly. So I think if I've been, if I was taught properly, I think I could, yeah, I think I align more with skiing than snowboarding. Than snowboarding, but I have tried both. I mean, they're both very hard. Yeah, but skiing, I did stay up more, but I will say snowboarding, it's easier to get back up. Like when the ski, when you fall, you have these huge things. Like you try to get back up, you just slip back again. You know, like at least the board, you can shove it in this the snow and stand up. I haven't tried that and then go. But they're both very difficult. I mean, I I give props to people who it's so cool when you do tricks and flips and all that stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Cause I'm like, I think you have to get off the ski lift. That right there is scary enough. Like, I'm like having to hype myself the whole time. Like, just do it, you can do it.
SPEAKER_01:If I had to work at a ski resort, I I would want to be the person at the lift because working the lift? Yeah, because like I know I've embarrassed myself coming off a lift, and I know almost probably everybody has. And it's it is really fun.
SPEAKER_00:All right, we're gonna do some Thanksgiving confessions now. So we're gonna run through these and then you think about yours as well. So let's start with this one. What is a dish that you always pretend to like, but you actually hate?
SPEAKER_01:It's always green beans. It's green beans. Do you like the green bean casserole? No, we do like green beans with like maybe the casserole will be different because there's more to it. Yeah. But just like the sauteed green beans, it's like the saute is good. It's just the green beans. Sometimes I'm like, what's the point? Chewy.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I'll make you my green beans. Okay, perfect. Um, mine would be like cranberry sauce because I feel like you have to like buy I hate it.
SPEAKER_01:I actually that might be over the green beans. Yeah. I do I don't even think about it because I don't like it. So I don't even know. It's not even on the menu to me. Do they put it out? Yes, who eats it? Everybody but me. I don't eat it. I don't eat it. I'll try, I'll I'll literally put like a if you know I want to try everything. I just put like the tiniest little scoop on my plate look like just to like say I had a bite. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Um, but yeah, no. Because that was awkward when like someone's at the table is like, you should try that dish. No, I didn't put it on my plate for a reason. And now you're calling it out, and I have to like pretend to like it. I don't like it, Becky. Don't like it.
SPEAKER_01:Just give me the mac and cheese and the mashed potatoes and the turkey. Okay. Okay, a family Thanksgiving moment that lives rent-free because it was chaotic or iconic.
SPEAKER_00:God, I mean everyone. Um, so when I was younger, my little sister, she had a speech impediment. And so she like she didn't say milk, she would say like moop is the way she would say it. But then it got to a point where she was learning how to spell and she would just spell out everything. And so we had a youth pastor at the time who was a little heavier, and she kept saying something to him. We're like, what is she saying? And then no, no, sorry, no, she was no my little brother was learning how to spell, so he would translate. Oh. She kept saying something to him. Like, what is she saying? And he goes, Oh, she says you're fat. F-A-T, fat. Oh my god. Like, oh, good job, chance. But Olivia, no. You're fat. F-A-T, fat. Oh my God. He's probably so proud of that too. He was so proud. Are you past her just like goes beat red and has to walk out of the room? We're all trying not to laugh. Oh my God. Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_01:Oh man. Um, I think every year, my sister, we break the turkey. So like we like we mash it so that it's flat. Like a spatch cook. Spatch cook, spatchcock. I don't know. That doesn't sound right, but you know. Mark, a dispatch cock, a spatch cook. What is it? Yeah, but yeah, it's a big thing. Like a butterfly. It's like a butterfly. I think it's whatever. And I'll never forget there was one year, like my brother-in-law could not crack it. Usually he can like, he's pretty, he's like taller, so he could just bend over and crack it. Spatchcocking. Spatchcocking. You sat when you go home. I'm gonna be like, you guys, we need to spatcock the turkey. Spatchcock.
SPEAKER_00:How many times? And then they're gonna get people to say spatcock. Everyone takes a shot when they say spashcock. Such a funny word.
SPEAKER_01:And one year, um, I literally had to lift my mom up so that I could get her at the right angle to actually crack it. Wait, really? And yeah, and so there's photo, we have photos of it, and it's just like it's uh it lives red-free. Like I just envisioning yes, in that photo, we need to see that holding my mom up by the legs, and she's like bent over like a you know, like a downward-facing dog basically trying to crack the bone amazing, and it worked. It did work. Well, usually my brother-in-law can do it on his own. It was just that turkey, she was he, she, they, them was not ready to go. Like they they were like, you are not spatchcocking me today.
SPEAKER_00:Spatchcocking. No, this feels like assault. What's a weird holiday tradition you didn't realize was weird until adulthood? A weird holiday. I mean, a weird tradition that they, or maybe a weird tradition that your family has. What's the one that what's mine? I guess mine is it's not weird, but just yeah, decorating for Thanksgiving. I mean, decorating for Christmas.
SPEAKER_01:This may not be uh like holiday, but for some reason, you know, everyone like gets kind of sick around like the holidays, you know. And there is this weird tradition that my family used to do where they put like, I think it was like uh thread, and you would like put it in the middle of your forehead and like some it's supposed to be. Yeah, that'll that'll do it. That's pretty weird. So like help you feel better. I don't know. It's like a circle. I don't know, like yeah, I don't, I don't know, but like I just remember my aunt doing that one year to like my niece, and then she did it to me one year too, and I just was like, What? Like, I still feel like shit. Thread on the forehead. Yeah, it was very interesting. I don't know, it's not like a holiday should, but it just reminds me of the time of year because we were getting sick. Everyone's already sick around then, you know? That's funny, but yeah, that was funny. Um, the dish I bring versus the dish I want to bring.
SPEAKER_00:So I typically, well, I can make a bomb ass mac and cheese. It's not my recipe, it's teeny teeth or teeny from TikTok. Her mac and cheese is the best. Get the little cava-pole cava-pole. Wow, let's rewind the corkscrew noodles that everyone they sold out last year because everyone was trying to, you know what I'm talking about? No, this TikToker, she's like super big and she made this mac and cheese. Everyone on TikTok was trying to make it, but she's specific about the noodles, and it's like corkscrew noodles because all the cheese like gets like locked in there. Um smart. But I made it last year, and which was a big change from the normal just Velveeta mac and cheese that my parents always made, and it was a freaking hit. But I really would like to bring baked beans, but baked beans aren't a Thanksgiving dish because I love a good baked bean. Ooh, but it is like like the sweet. So I do. We do um like Bush's baked beans, saute some um green peppers and onions, get uh Jimmy Dean hot breakfast sausage, put it in there, and then put brown sugar. Wow, you bake it, yum.
SPEAKER_01:My mouth just watered. I'm so hungry. They're so good. Ooh, okay. I don't know. I don't know. Like I bring the dishes that I want to bring, like like the sweet potato casserole. I just started doing that maybe two years ago. And so that is like I'm I'm proud of that. I mean, my mashed potatoes are fire. My mashed potatoes are, I've been doing that since what do you put in your mashed potatoes? I mean, sour cream, butter, load it up, milk, salt, sometimes garlic salt. Yeah, garlic salt. You know, put the garlic in the five. I even like when I'm peeling them, sometimes I'll leave a little bit of skin.
SPEAKER_00:Just a little skins, like every now and then you get a little Are you using russet potatoes or using the gold gold it? Uh no, we're using like the big ones.
SPEAKER_01:The big ones, like the big yeah, yeah, yeah. We just like and then I and obviously I cut them in fours so before putting them in the boiling water so that way they uh they boil faster. Do people put whole ass potatoes in water, but everyone cut them up first? I mean, I don't know. I do, but I don't know. Maybe some people do. Well, if you don't, you should do that.
SPEAKER_00:You just start cutting your potatoes before boiling them. It will cut the cooking time in half. Um, okay, stuffing or mashed potatoes. Obviously, mashed potatoes for you. Yeah. And only my dad's stuffing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So that's do you like stuffing?
SPEAKER_01:I do like stuffing. I like my sister's stuffing. I don't like all stuffing though. It has to be, I don't know what she puts in it, but I don't like sage.
SPEAKER_00:And I feel like they sage goes and stuff. I like stage. I like sage. I think that's a flavor I don't like that a lot of people put in their stuffing. My dad doesn't. Okay. Um, okay, cooking all day or ordering out. I mean, that's just I mean, for Thanksgiving, obviously cooking all day order and yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But I mean, I will, obviously, but I'm alone. You're not the only person that said you'll order Chinese food. Because I have a couple friends who are like staying home or just, you know, being by themselves for the holidays, and every single person is like, yeah, I can't wait, just like stay home and just like order Chinese food.
SPEAKER_00:So I would do like if I didn't go home for the holidays, Thanksgiving or Christmas, I would go to the theater, buy like three movies I hadn't seen, and just do a marathon day at the theater. I love that. Swap out for some Chinese food and go back because like typically the only place that's open. And then I would get like a big bucket of white claws. And the funny, I did that when the uh Last Incredibles movie came out. Uh-huh. Because it was for our age people, but they're all children in there. Because that movie came out when we were kids. Right. And I'm just sitting back there with a bunch of kids around me, just cracking open my white claws. Their parents are looking at me.
SPEAKER_01:With your cartoon. They're actually looking at you like, damn, why didn't we think of that? We should have brought our own. Okay. Okay, football naps or pumpkin pie naps. I don't even like pumpkin pie. I do like pumpkin pie, but like a sliver. Like, I'm not, I'm not having a full piece. No. And I I just I yeah, I love hearing people scream at the television and then I get to sleep. And yeah, you can just like wake up for a second and see what's going on and go back.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm like this, I'm just like, go sports. Yeah. I do love that. Like it's something comforting about going home and like the game is on, everyone's kind of around the TV and you can doze off.
SPEAKER_01:And yeah, I do love that. I do. I love like even when we're having dinner, we'll have like the game, but like it'll be muted. But at least like so the guys that are, you know, really into it. You can't like take that away from the men, okay? Or the women who love their football, you know, but most of the time in my family, it's all the men who are sitting on this side of the table so that they can see the TV that way. Yep.
SPEAKER_00:You know what I mean? Exactly. Um, dinner at 2 p.m. or at normal human hours? Do y'all do early Thanksgiving? Two. We actually do two. 2 p.m.
SPEAKER_01:to 2 30. Yeah. That way you can like again take a nap and eat again. And eat again.
SPEAKER_00:You have to do it early because you have so much leftover food that needs to be eaten that day.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, we do like 11 a.m. It would be a real one if we just really early. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:We we're still cooking at that time. The turkey's still in the oven at 11 a.m. at our house. Dad preps everything they did before. We pre-carves everything. I love well, no, my sister does prep a lot the day before. But it still takes like, I guess, like a good what, like four, some four plus hours to cook the turkey. And then, you know, you gotta get like the juices that drip and use that for like the stuffing and yeah, all the goblets and all the things.
SPEAKER_00:Have you done a fried turkey before? I don't think so. So good. But people, if you're gonna do your fried turkey this year, every year someone burns their house down or like loses a face because I'll stick to my sister's turkey then. It was like such a trend a couple years ago. And people are like dropping their like cold ass turkey in boiling oil without. I mean, I don't really know what the actual, but yeah, it would just like explode and like what? Yeah, but turkeys are big. You have to have like they're big, like outdoors. They do like outside, but it would always be like yeah, people would always get injured. Bless you. Bless you. Uh uh. Uh thank you. Well, uh, as we mentioned earlier, going home can sometimes lead to some like annoying, uncomfortable conversations with certain people, and just somehow like being able to keep yourself grounded and not get worked up if someone says something that you know irks you. Um, and so how do you emotionally pay?
SPEAKER_01:yourself during the holiday so you're not just completely suspense I walk around okay I just I just walk around um I probably will have like you know my weed pen oh yeah that's nearby that is always good um so I take breaks I take breaks um but yeah that's kind of what I yeah I just I just have my wine yeah give me my wine yes uh you know give me my weed pen make sure I have access to outside and yeah but like I said my family's not like crazy it's just it's just you know like you said it's a lot of energy in one space yeah yeah well our we're a dry a dry household so there's no alcohol out and of course no weed it's Alabama oh girl but but no like nope it is a not even the blood of Christ there is a dry it's a dry household wow so I have to so I just like keep my mouth shut I've learned just like just pretend like if I hear something I don't like I did I didn't hear it and just keep my head down. Because I don't have any way to like I would just have shooters in my bag if I were you just like every now and then go to my body take a little shooter and just keep them in my little pocket. I know. Yeah because that's crazy that's hard. I could never imagine like my sister and I crack open the bottle of wine at 10 a.m like on on turkey day. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:Like we're like it's it's time it's time we have our coffee we have a bottle of water and then we crack open the wine your family's doing it right um what's a holiday expectation you decided to let go of as adults I mean this is more of the same just like that everybody is going to agree and get along and just like you let that expectation go and just kind of roll with the punches and chill that's what like it's not it's not always just one big happy family gathering you know but like if you go in there with a mentality that you're not gonna get worked up or like feed into the negativity I'm saying this in such a personal experience because there's always like a negative sibling or two. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And just like you have a lot of siblings so it's like there's you know different like I only technically have one. Yeah so you know we and she's like like I said she's the boss I just I just follow her her her lead on on Thanksgiving day as well. There's not too many cooks in the kitchen as they say just let her do her thing. Nope it's her myself and then my brother in law obviously will you know help out wherever he's needed pouring the wine. Pouring the wine that's a very important job. Yeah yeah um what about like boundaries with family or like social guilds yeah like do you laugh about it like do you laugh it off or or no or or do you get into it?
SPEAKER_00:You're like you're like I used to get into I've learned not to because the one thing about people from my town like everyone is very stuck in their ways and I don't want to say narrow minded and I know like a lot of people have never like left the state line and so they don't know or they haven't like seen outside their world so I'm not gonna like sit there and try to change their viewpoint on anything during a one hour dinner. So I think I'd just rather just sit back and just not let it get to me. And I know my mom really appreciates it because like someone one of my siblings is something negative about the gay community because they're just so they don't they've never met a gay person before. And my mom looked at me immediately because she knows how much the community means to me and then afterwards she's like thank you so much for not like getting combative or fighting them. I know that was hard for you. And so I just try to like keep peace.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. You know because and it's like we said it's only one day it's only one one day one day get there but also get me back to California but also it's one day like just let's just like not talk about things like that.
SPEAKER_00:I think that's you know I think families honestly should have that role do not talk why does it always have to be political religious controversial what do they always say don't don't talk politics or religion yeah like just you don't see your family members all year round and so this is what you want to talk about like you asked me about like what good shows I'm watching or something like that.
SPEAKER_01:Ask me about this onesie that I'm probably gonna wear to Thanksgiving where did I get it? You know what I mean? Like what am I doing with it?
SPEAKER_00:There's so many things we could talk about so many things. Well as we're rounding out the year um I feel like you and I have experienced a lot of personal growth and professional growth um we're still learning a lot about ourselves and about life um but what do you think one thing which is like one thing each of us is learning is about love and like life family relationships friends and I think for me that it's not transactional love isn't transactional. You know I feel like I've had to we've both experienced that with people in our lives who I feel like it's like a tit for tit tit for tat um kind of thing like I'm gonna I'm gonna show you love but then you better you know do this for me. And like no that's not that's not what it's about.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And I and I think it's I think what I've learned about love is that there's I mean I've known this but there's different levels of love. Yeah. And and that's that's okay. Like you don't have to love everything or everyone the same way. You could still have love for people maybe like you know I have love for people that I don't necessarily really talk to anymore but I still have love for them. And so I think I've realized that it's okay to still uh send love to other people even if like we said like some people grow apart or you're not in the same space with that person anymore or those family members or whatever. So I think yeah I think just like remembering like exactly what you said where your love comes from and not to expect anything back from them. Yeah it's almost like you know my mom had this saying if you loan somebody money don't ever expect it back. Yeah it's like like you should be able to if you're loaning somebody money it's because you can and you're not gonna suffer without it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so if they do pay you back which of course most people do which is amazing but if they don't just already know like it's like a it's like a pleasure to meet it days but yeah yeah but yeah also like kind of what you said like being able to love people from a distance if you're not like what did Tupac say something about like I ask just because we're not each other's life whatever I still want to see you eat just not at my table kind of what was that it was such a good quote oh that's such a good quote right like I still I don't want to see you starve but like just eat over there. I'm all should we look it up yeah it's it's a good quote I'm like Tupac we're quoting Tupac over here. Tupac I mean duh yeah so something like I I still want to see you eat just not at my table.
SPEAKER_01:So I still love you but like just from a distance because his quote is oh uh well I put my phone on airplane mode on accident so oh great so I have no service so hold on one second here we go we must remember oh wait maybe I don't know if did I miss quote we must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark so you will always be in my heart with unconditional love and love is a battlefield that is that that is Jordan Sparks but yeah that sounds like a song uh eat at my table maybe I made this up oh yeah just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy um yeah his his main quote is I still want to see you eat just not just not at my enemy yeah just not at my table yeah right we we got there Tupac we got you yeah but you were right just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy I'm bigger than that I still want to see you eat just not at my table and that's period period that's on everything.
SPEAKER_00:Okay what's something we're learning about rest well that we need to do it honestly yes I do not sleep enough but then sometimes I do sometimes I sleep a lot though like there'll be times I'll sleep for 12 hours I'll fall asleep on my couch at 5 p.m and not wake up to the next day.
SPEAKER_01:Right you do yeah it's all do today I don't do that I I do try to get sleep she just wakes up at like 7 a.makes at 3 a.m you're waking up at 7 and I'm like how can I not?
SPEAKER_00:I have blackout curtains and everything it's just my body just wakes you yeah no I can't do that.
SPEAKER_01:I rest is um I've learned to not feel guilty about resting. Yeah I feel like especially in our careers and our lives like it's very fast paced. It's always go go go and so I feel like sometimes when I have rested in the past and just like put my phone down or just veg and be a couch potato for 12 hours or whatever um instead of being like I should be doing X, Y, and Z, it's just knowing no like it's almost like a meditative state.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Just sit there, relax, be bored a little bit or or be embedded in a show for a second or read a book and just like you have to just rest your body and not necessarily like sleeping but like just because you're resting. Like turning turning off all the you know the bells and whistles in there. Yeah there's a lot they're always going off. Uh something you're learning about community or or friendship.
SPEAKER_00:I mean kind of like kind of what we touched on just like the importance of keeping people in your circle that are uplifting you and not causing you more stress because I feel like the community that you choose to be a part of in the friendship should not feel like a like a job or like an obligation.
SPEAKER_01:And once that starts happening or you feel like forced to do things you don't want to do just to appease to another person it's it's like that's a it's like a negative it's uh you know the wrong direction you know right because I feel like I always feel like I'm a I'm a people I'm a people pleaser and so I feel like I'll put my wants and needs aside because I want to you know don't want to upset somebody um but that's not you should never never feel that way in a friendship you know absolutely not I yeah I mean I I feel like with friendship too I have a lot of people that I've known some since I was five some since high school and we don't talk that much like we said but I still know how much our love uh has grown over the years even though we may be a little bit more distant you know what I mean and then we have like holidays and we get together and catch up and try to you know tell each other what our life's been up to for the past year in like two hours at a dinner, you know, but it's always just so fun and I just think that friendship and community should be light and life is already extremely heavy and and there's a lot of things going on and a lot of people are struggling. And so if if I can at least be that person that makes you laugh or like feels a little lighter that day then that's what I that's what I want in return to you know so it should be we're it's not easy in a sense we're all different like we're different very different but we we learn how to like not just coexist but also understand each other's uh you know maybe I don't want to say downfall yeah it's each other's or our shortcomings and then we well you know like our quirks or our shortcomings or you kind of you like help you know lift up the other side. Everyone's had everyone's been through it. Everyone has had something happen to them in their childhood. That's like I hate when people start using that as an excuse and I'm just like victims.
SPEAKER_00:We've all had stuff happen to us as we were younger and now we're all now this is we have this has been the hardest year for so many people we are all going through it. But you know what? Buck up and don't be a dick like it's you know it's so easy to not be a dick. It's so easy. You would think right you would think speaking of a moment that surprised you with softness this year. Speaking of dicks I think I've become a little softer. I feel our friend Patty even said that she's like I feel like she's she said she seemed like a softer side to me which I feel like I've always been really soft.
SPEAKER_01:But yeah I see I feel like I'm I've always been extremely soft. So I think for me this year I've learned to speak my mind without losing my softness because that's always been very hard for me. I don't like confrontation. Yeah I don't like having hard conversations I like having conversations but I don't like having hard conversations but I have felt this switch happen and and I think it's because of the people around me like you everyone in my community right now allows me to speak my truth and have an actual discussion about it instead of it being so intense and everything has to be an issue and blah blah blah. You know it's like now I feel as though I can speak my mind and I know how to do it with that softness so that I don't want to hurt somebody's feelings.
SPEAKER_00:And even though oh they've they did something they should and I can't wait to go like make them feel bad about it.
SPEAKER_01:Like that's not what you're I spitefulness is just like it's such an icky feeling and an it's an icky word and I just it is I don't want to be spiteful. It's like just because you slap me in the face like maybe I'll punch you back but like I don't want to I mean that's a lie but you know what I mean we're working just because you do something negative to me I I'm I'm really I really don't want to I'd rather just walk away because I feel like I am struggling with that with like in certain relationships where I'm like trying to grow because if you like really hurt me it's hard for me not to want to hurt you back.
SPEAKER_00:And it's it's growth. I know I'm not supposed to be like that but we're working on it. It's one day at a time it's awareness. One day at a time yeah well before we sign off we just want to send out some blessings uh people blessings for people who are cooking alone this year uh blessings for the girlies carrying everyone's emotions blessings for friends who become family blessings for anyone grieving or healing or quietly rebuilding because we know that that is probably applies to almost everybody listening right now. So um yeah we hope everybody has a beautiful Thanksgiving with your family or friends or if you're gonna be alone like me I hope you get to rest.
SPEAKER_01:Yes and uh you know tell some tell one person something oddly specific that you love about them. Yeah I think it I one thing I've learned is when I haven't seen somebody in a very long time I'll ask them tell me something good yeah that's happening in your life and I know I keep saying this but it's like it could literally be like this morning I woke up in a good mood or I had I made the perfect cup of tea or you know whatever. It can be something so specific but um yeah telling that to people they get so caught off guard and it's like it's in a good way. They're they're like oh shit wait I most people are like wait tell me something good okay they have to really think about it. And then I tell them it doesn't have to be that deep you can it could literally be that we bought these. This is the good thing today is that we're wearing these turkey costumes and they're so cozy and comfy.
SPEAKER_00:You know so yeah but it can change the whole course of someone's day and mood if you do force that to like deliver things like that. And yeah go make or buy yourself something cozy or tasty. Eat the extra piece of pie. Eat all of the pies go back for a fourth plate. You know just do whatever makes you happy. Yep and make sure you load up on Tums.
SPEAKER_01:Lots of Tums if you're over 30 years old that should be the party favor at every party is just like a box of Tums for everyone. Yeah. But no honestly you guys have the sweetest turkey day all to all of our honeys and remember we're your two favorite ingredients for the best tasting tea around town. There you go.
SPEAKER_00:Happy Thanksgiving gabble gabble bye
