Dr. Trish Leigh | How Pornography & Social Media Are Hijacking Your Brain | #147

This week,

 I sit down with Dr. Trish Leigh, a neuroscientist known for helping people break free from pornography addiction, dopamine dependency, brain fog, and the mental rewiring caused by constant overstimulation. Through years of research and coaching, Dr. Leigh has built a reputation for teaching people how to take back control of their minds in a world engineered to hijack attention.

In this episode, we dive deep into how pornography, smartphones, social media, and nonstop dopamine hits are changing the brain on a neurological level. Dr. Leigh explains why so many people feel mentally drained, unmotivated, anxious, distracted, and disconnected — and how modern technology is silently reshaping focus, discipline, confidence, and even identity.

We also talk about dopamine addiction, brain optimization, rewiring unhealthy habits, the psychology behind overstimulation, and what it actually takes to get your mind back operating at full capacity in today’s digital world.




Trish's Links:


https://share.google/BJEfw8SzZDVEMB6ox

https://share.google/9en5oK2UirohBM97a

https://share.google/AXgMiXOlghc5djuQb

https://share.google/rIxKY5k96A6rfpWxf

https://share.google/btPO1YDbv7SgYFOdb


Mind Over Explicit Matter Book - https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0DXLDNSRB




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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:12

Yo yo yo with your boy. It's Phil Wham Bam Benamino, baby. It's another Wambam Wednesday. You know the show about ordinary people who've done extraordinary things. And as always, we're gonna ask you first, give us a little bit of love and go ahead and subscribe. Hit that button below. It takes zero, zero effort to go ahead and do that. All right, and it costs you nothing because we bring so many great guests in. And today I got a treat for you. If you got a brain problem, okay, and what I mean by a brain problem, meaning, you know, you're just not motivated. Maybe you got anxiety, maybe you watch too much pornography, you know, and you think, huh, it's me. What if it wasn't you? What if your brain was actually hijacked? Well, I got Dr. Trish Lee in the house, so we're gonna talk about it, all about how your brain could be hijacked. How are you doing, doctor?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

I'm doing so great. Thank you for having me. So glad that you're here. I'm psyched to be here.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

We're pumped too. How can your brain get hijacked, first of all? Like that doesn't even make sense. Like, who can take your brain?

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Yeah, it's pretty wild because it's insidious, it's sneaky, it happens over time, so nobody sees it happening. So for the vast majority of people, it's dopamine. And many people have heard about dopamine. Dopamine is a molecule, it is a neurotransmitter in the brain, it is associated with pleasure. But what people don't realize is that it's actually more about pursuit. So when you seek out something over and over, and especially with novelty and intensity, the dopamine in your brain gets linked to it. And then what happens is you want to keep going back for more and more and more. And before you know it, other things don't compare.

SPEAKER_04 1:54

I mean, when you like something, is that considered dopamine?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

So if you like to do something or you like someone, or you like sometimes uh there's also serotonin and oxytocin, those tend to be the other two players in the neurotransmitter pool. Serotonin is more about joy, so think like a sunset. Uh oxytocin's about connection. Think about your honey, right? So you want to be with your people, that's connection. Dopamine really is more about hits, hits of pleasure, spikes. So uh think rock climbing or think about being with a partner, you know, intimacy. Those things register on the dopamine scale.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

So a lot of things like jumping out of a helicopter, you know, airplane, doing, you know, roller coasters, people want that dopamine hit. They talk about that quite a bit.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Um, as a human being, we want dopamine to be flowing in our system, but it should be linked. And I don't like to use the word should. So I would rather say in a healthy brain, it is linked to your job, to your relationships, and to your hobbies. And so, yes, we do want that. We want dopamine flowing, but at healthy levels, I call it the happiness trifecta. So the happiness trifecta is dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin flowing in combination. So it makes you feel pleasure, joy, and connection at the same time. And just to go back to something that you said, uh, a roller coaster, we'll make a roller coaster eight, a level eight, you know, pleasure on a one to ten scale. We'll put jumping out of a helicopter at a 9.7.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

So we want people to get those, you know, smaller but still healthy hits within that one to 10 scale. When you are constantly searching and seeking for a hit that's above 10, that's when we run into the hijack.

SPEAKER_04 3:45

Okay. I'm trying to understand this because realistically myself, I have no desire to jump out of a helicopter or anything like that. I really don't like roller coasters. I could care less. But there are some people that they want, they want that adrenaline rush. So let me try to understand that.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Let me ask you this. What do you think the most exciting thing that you like to do is that makes you feel great in your real life?

SPEAKER_04 4:05

Winning. Winning makes me feel great.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

See, so winning's gonna be, yeah, winning's gonna be a dopamine hit for you. Yeah, like same thing. I love to work in my business, and when I'm accomplishing the thing that I want, like I'm all fired up.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

And then in my life, I like to box. I have two boxing bags. I have a boxing dummy, I call him the general because he's got his like dirty look on his face, but then I have a bag. Love to hit the bags. So when I go hit those bags, I am like really flowing with more dopamine than when I'm sitting in my chair. But I also have serotonin and oxytocin because it's purposeful for me. So you know when you're balanced, you don't need spikes. But there's many millions and millions of people who are hooked on the dopamine spikes from level 11, and I'll be graceful and I'll go up to 20. And it goes past 20. But when people um are pulled towards explicit content, like it can be a level 20 max, right? You know, maxed out.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

Wow. You know, how did you get into the study in the brain? Like, how did this all come about into your life?

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Uh-huh. So um I always half joke that my life exists in seven-year chapters. And actually, this has been the longest chapter, uh, which is pretty cool. But um, I have my education's actually varied. I have uh doctorates in two areas, not that that matters, but it matters because I've been on this journey of like figuring things out for a long time.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

Where'd you go to school?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Uh I went to school at the university at Buffalo.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

Buffalo, New York, in the house. Of a Buffalo dude. Yeah, exactly. Because the Sabres right now are playing pretty good. Yep. So yep.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

I'm still, you know, uh, you can take the girl out of Buffalo, but you can't take the Buffalo out of the girl, right? I live in Chapel Hill, North Carolina now.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

But, you know, I've always been intrigued by human behavior, um, especially especially cognition thinking, um, how our thought processes are informed by how our brain is performing. So uh, you know, it's been a journey of taking me from, you know, thinking about relationships and communication and then cognition thinking and then brain performance. But I've been doing it a long time, like in chapters.

SPEAKER_04 6:09

You know, you talk about that as you get older too. A lot of people are having more and more brain fog. You hear a lot about that. I mean, that's a real thing.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:15

You know, um, what what creates that? How do you stop it?

SPEAKER_00 6:19

It's very easy for most people, but most people are not going to want to hear what I have to say. You ready for it?

SPEAKER_04 6:24

I'm listening.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

It's screens. It is screens. Your phone, your uh social media. We know this. It's proven scientifically that um screens themselves are called supernormal stimuli. They produce more dopamine in the brain than level 10. They're at 11, 12, 13, it goes up from there. So if you are pulled back to your screen for a dopamine hit, um, it creates a brain pattern that I call strained brain. It's a wired and tired brain pattern. So we know this, it's proven there the trajectory of when the internet came on the scene and the trajectory of anxiety and attention issues and that brain fog that people feel, it's it's correlated, it's parallel.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

So since phones came on the scene, people are going back to them for the dopamine hits, and unfortunately, it wires your brain, then it tires it. And in the tiring, there's fatigue and brain fog.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

You know, I can see that when you when you mention it makes sense because everybody wants that like, right? You want to hit that like and people want to know, people look to see, okay, how many people are watching me, you know, and and people want to know that. Even in today's day, even what we do, you know, for sponsorships and stuff like that, they want to know, hey, how many people are reviewing you, how many people are watching you. Yeah. So that is important. So you have to put some effort into those types of things.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Yeah. And I have a saying, I always say the algorithm is not neutral. People do not understand that they they get a little to a small extent that they're training the algorithm with what they watch and what they like. What they don't understand is the algorithm is training their brain. Right. With the interactions and with the dopamine that comes from all of that. Now, and just to frame one other thing is that I have the luxury of being able to look into people's brains. I use technology called EEG, electroencephalogram, um, which now it's a wearable um using an app on a cell phone. So I work with people all over the world's world. I can see how people's brains perform. I can see the dysfunction. I show people the dysfunction with their own eyes from their behaviors.

SPEAKER_04 8:31

You're scaring me now. No, it's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

It is literally the and I got into that um probably like 17, 18 years ago, um, long before other people were into this type of thing.

SPEAKER_04 8:43

Uh is this something you really saw was a problem then? People's behaviors, you saw it first.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Yeah, I've done studies on it. Um, some of the largest brain map studies. A brain map is called Q EEG, quantitative measurable EEG. Um, studies on how screens, especially explicit content, is creating this dysfunctional pattern. I told you about strain brain, strain brain wired and tired. There's another pattern, I call it drained brain. Um, when the brain becomes so drained, it's so desensitized from dopamine that people need the hits just to get through their day.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

Now you talk about explicit. Are we talking about pornography?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

We are, but yes, the answer is yes. Um, but an even larger concern is social media, uh, especially in a hyper-stimulating way. So that might be drama, that might be violence, it might be explicit content. So um what it is it is true, man.

SPEAKER_04 9:41

People like to watch other people hurt or get hurt or do stupid things that really aren't normal. Yep. You know, and you know, they're the ones that get your your your viral hits, right? And stuff.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Exactly. So that's the drama and the violence, right? Think about why most people are um on their phones. It's usually for some hit from something like that, or even the news. People are addicted to the news and the drama, the the politics, the you know, it's all just to feel, right? But it is all of that distorted feeling is what's creating the hijack in people's brains because then they go back to their kitchen table, which actually nobody's sitting at anymore. You go back to your kitchen table and there's your family, and there's no hits there, right? So then it feels boring and it feels not enough. So then, you know, you'll notice, or I guess I'll challenge you to notice, you know, when you're sitting with people, they reach for their phone for no reason at all, right?

SPEAKER_04 10:38

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Like in the middle of a conversation, you don't need to check it. Everybody's on their phone, they're just looking for a hit, they don't even know it.

SPEAKER_04 10:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

And my I have five kids. So I also have five children. Uh, my youngest is um 15, my oldest is 23. So I always joke that, you know, I'm your frontal lobe until you're 28. Brains develop until the age of 28. So I always they're done. Well, they start degenerating tragically. Oh man. But you know, how do we fix that? Well, you you can train your brain. I help people train their brains with technology. Um, you can train your brain, you know, so that it stays stronger into adulthood and aging. So people understand the concept of training their bodies, right? Sure. Like people work out, people eat well. What I help people do is train their brain, work their brain out, the most important muscle that they have. And then I think of the nutrition piece as the behavioral changes. So being able to balance screen time, being able to stay away from those biggest hits that they know they're going back to that are taking them away from their life.

SPEAKER_04 11:41

Wow. Are people rewiring themselves without actually realizing that?

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Um, they're miswiring themselves. I like to think of it as um, not like to think of it, but I characterize it as inadvertently or on accident, people are miswiring their brains out of their purpose, out of their lives, into their phones and whatever passive content they're consuming. We know scientifically, for younger people, that it's actually causing identity fragmentation. So, what that means is that, you know, our identity used to be built from the inside out. I love boxing because I thought boxing was cool. You know, I've never watched one boxing influencer, and I would like to come back to the concept of that. But, you know, inherently I wanted to try boxing. My daughter's an equestrian. She's always loved horses since she was three. We didn't have horses. That was innately in her. So identity was, you know, grown that way. And then, of course, it was also impacted by the family and your community, which comes with its own dysfunction. I grew up in a family of six, also. So, but now what's happening is kids and adolescents are on their phones all the time, and they are consuming the passive content from influencers, which are having influence on them. So now people's identities, and this is scientifically proven, are being formulated by the algorithm.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

Right. How do we fix that? I mean, be honest, you know, having five kids your own, you know, you're a parent and you worry about this. Obviously, I worry about my kids, but you know, really the whole world. I mean, today, because with AI now being such a major part part of it and so many things being out there, you don't know what you're watching is real, if it's fake, if it was created, uh, you know, if it's genuine or if it's just some marketing tool. Yeah. You know, so absolutely. Yeah. How do we fix that?

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Well, as a parent, it's slightly exhausting. So parents out there, you know, and I've been doing it for uh 23 years, is you do have to co-regulate your children. It's all called regulation. Regulation is neurological regulation. You regulate your brain, which allows you to self-regulate. So if you're a parent, you have to be the co-regulator. Um, I'm working on my next book. I have a book out, Mind Over Explicit Matter, um, that does focus on explicit matter. I'm working on my next book that has to do with being miswired by the algorithm.

SPEAKER_04 13:59

But now hold on, hold on, I'm gonna stop here because I don't I want to talk about this book for a second. Okay, because it says quit pornography and improve intimacy through neuroscience. So you what you're saying is this is a problem. Yeah. Pornography is a problem.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

When so you know when COVID So you know when COVID hit and everyone's like, we have a pandemic.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

I'm like, we have a bigger pandemic that nobody realizes. And it is true, when COVID hit, pornography consumption skyrocketed. You can look it up if you don't believe me. It never came down.

SPEAKER_04 14:30

Really?

SPEAKER_00 14:31

So it was huge before that. The internet came on the scene in 1991.

SPEAKER_04 14:35

So is that just like the intimacy? And you think relationships, people's relationships are not what they used to be? Nope. Or what is what is the reasoning behind it?

SPEAKER_00 14:43

And people always kind of mock me for my uh, I guess my confidence level in it. But again, so, anyways, if we think about it just logically, I'm a logical kind of girl, right? So if we think about it logically, people find explicit content when they're eight, nine, ten. They're children. We know this.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

It's scary because now they have you know, growing up, me and my father had to find his Playboy magazines that were hidden somewhere throughout the house, right? That was the only thing you you saw. Yeah, and you didn't have the internet. You didn't have access to the.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

In the book, I talk about that. I talk about classic pornography um addiction, or I actually like to call it a compulsion because people don't really uh, you know, relate with addiction until it's late in the game. But there's classic, you know, you got the magazines off the shelf. Now it's contemporary. Um, children, adolescents, they all have phones in their pocket. So it used to be the age 14. Now it's the age of eight, is the average age of first exposure. And I already told you, brains developed till 28. So now we've got 20 years of male development or development in the wrong direction. So it's not about relationships at all. It's about brains that were trained to seek that high level of dopamine from the screen and from that hyper-stimulating stimulus, level 20, from the age of eight. And that's why we're at a critical mass.

SPEAKER_04 16:00

How is it? Like, do people know they have this as an addiction? Like, is it really considered an addiction? You know, somebody that's watching pornography all the time, it's it's you know, if they brush their teeth every day, is that an addiction?

SPEAKER_00 16:14

No, you know, so that could be an obsessive compulsive diff disorder. So if you're doing it every time. Like if you're brushing your teeth too much, that's a compulsive disorder. And this falls into the same category. So, you know, I do want your viewers to know that the World Health Organization does classify uh screened-based uh compulsions into compulsive sexual behavior disorder. It is recognized, it's recognized as a brain dysregulation. And so, do people know? Yes and no. And that's how people find me. I have a YouTube channel and I'm always, you know, blah, blah, blah. And they're like that lady and her hyperbole until they do. I already told you, it's sneaky. It happens over time, like a domino effect. So as that escalation behavior, tolerance building, basically, but as that domino effect happens, uh, people see themselves in what I'm saying more and more.

SPEAKER_04 17:06

It, you know, it seems like a lot of people would just uh assume it's just uh curiosity. You know, people are curious to see what it looks like, what other people are doing, um, you know, how it's formatted, uh, who's you know looks, you know, better than others, and and just curiosity. Yeah. That that curiosity you're saying is actually a problem and it can be an addiction.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Well, it's fair, that's a fair uh you know, assumption on many people's part, but um, the way that addiction basically brews is that it starts as use, right? You're using something, then it then it goes into misuse. You're using it too much, you're using it at times you're not supposed to, then it goes to abuse. Then from abuse, it springboards into compulsion, and this is where things change. What happens is you now need it. It's controlling you, you're not controlling it. And my tagline, which I made up on accident many years ago, was control your brain or it will control you. So when it when it becomes a compulsion, then an addiction is you have to do it or you don't feel good. You're no longer doing it to get that little hit of feeling good. You're doing it because you have to or you can't get through the day. So people are doing that with their screens inadvertently. They don't even know. They're picking it up, they need a little dopamine hit because now they got to get through that conversation with their dad, right? But you know, so, and then when it comes to very high hyperstimulating content, it desensitizes the dopamine receptors even more. That need happens faster and harder.

SPEAKER_04 18:35

You know, it's funny. I actually did a podcast with uh Vegas Poly C. Vegas Poly C, if he's out there listening, and you know what? One of the things that he has, he has an issue with his dopamine. So he actually gambles and he says that's part of his, you know, his treatment to give take care of his dopamine. So he needs to go gamble every day, which I found like you're sure you're just not an addict, but there's a real thing. That's a real thing.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

It is, that's a dependency. I like to use the word dependency more than addiction or compulsion because people do resonate with dependency. Dependency is I've got to do this thing every day or I don't feel good. But what most people don't know is it's been created over a very long time by doing the very behavior. So even if you're gambling every day, we know that gambling is a behavioral addiction. So it is in the same category as screen-based addictions. It's a behavior, not a substance. So it's a little different mechanisms, but the dopamine mechanisms in the brain are actually the same. But so the idea is you go and you do that behavior, it makes you feel good by hitting those dopamine receptors, but then it hits them too much, they desensitize, you have to do it every day, and then you actually have to do it at higher levels to get the same reward. We're talking about the reward system in the brain.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

Right. So, and and I'm gonna use a gambler again because I know another person who gambles almost every game. He has to put money on every game. And the money goes up higher, it starts at 10 bucks, goes 100, ends up a thousand, then 10 grand, and it till he's broke. Yep. You know, type type of thing. But um, you know, that's a problem. Obviously, he's an addict. Can you fix that? Can you rewire somebody's brain? Absolutely to fix it. You can.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

I can.

SPEAKER_04 20:18

More people seek out for that then.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Yeah, I want I'm on a mission that people understand because a lot of people think this is now my reality, and there's nothing I can do about it. So I try to empower people to tell them you can rewire your brain using your mind and your body up until a certain point. The more miswired it is, then you need high-level professional help, especially using technology. So the technology that I use, I can identify the dysfunction, but I also have created and um established protocols for arousal dysfunction. And what we're talking about is arousal dysfunction. Anxiety, attention, and intimacy, they all are characterized as arousal dysfunction. But I can set these protocols that basically rewire your brain for you. It's like a personal trainer in the app. And so if you can't do it yourself, you need technology to do it for you.

SPEAKER_04 21:15

Wow. We have to we have to put put all your uh numbers up there because I'm sure there's a lot of listeners. Go to Amazon today and purchase money management for beginners, a book for everybody, especially younger kids. Kids that get money and don't know what to do with it. This is the best $20 you'll ever spend. We'll save you millions. That's right. I said millions of dollars if you start young and earn you the same. A M A Z O N Amazon. What percentage of the listeners out there that actually deal with pornography or watch, you know, that or have problems with their brains. With the brains.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

With there's many studies, but one of the latest uh studies identifies over 91% of men and 48% of women. But you know.

SPEAKER_04 22:00

I also want to share that I is that why it's more men than women?

SPEAKER_00 22:03

It's it is vastly more than that. I would contend it's even more than fifty, you know, that's a 50% differential. I would contend it's even more. Um, evolutionarily, which I write about all this in the book too, not you know, too scientific, but to give the background, evolutionarily, um, men are drawn to sexuality in terms of visual and auditory stimulation. Women are more into uh the connection and the story and the uh yeah, and when it comes to like content, they're into more of the eroticism, the emotional aspect, exactly. So um, you know, there's an evolutionary component to it, but it becomes totally distorted. That is that's what I want people to understand. You know, I want people to go have an amazing time with your partner, but not in these parasocial, it's called parasocial relationships. They're transactional, right? And it's fantasy, it's unreality. And if you're getting these high dopamine hits from unreality, your reality doesn't do it for you anymore.

SPEAKER_04 23:01

That's the do you feel like though, you know, because there's such a high standard of men doing this, do you feel like in a relationship it's better for the man and woman to do it together because then it's out there, or is that gonna affect it?

SPEAKER_00 23:13

No, because two alcoholics can have a great time, right? But it still makes them two alcoholics who are in a downward spiral. Um, I also say, you know, I have a lot of cheesy aphorisms. You know, I have cheesy aphorisms to help people understand what's going on. I always say there's no such thing as a horizontal spiral. And in neuroscience, they're called feedback loops. You're either in a positive one, the upward spiral, or you are in a negative feedback loop, the downward spiral. So you're not in a horizontal spiral. So if you have two people who are consuming pornography together, which by the way is like very small percentage, it's mostly men consuming in secrecy. Um, I also work with women.

SPEAKER_04 23:51

I have a women, if you think your your man's out there not watching, he's probably watching. That's what I'm saying, right? Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_00 23:58

Yeah, and I want people to get on the same page. I have a program, it's called Sanity After Betrayal. Betrayal trauma is real in women's brains. They find out about a behavior, whatever the behavior is, and they have a moment of disillusionment. They thought they had relationship A, they find out they have relationship B. And that creates a huge rupture in the relationship. But I don't want anybody to not be together if they truly want to. And that's why I want people to know that man's brain was hijacked when he was eight. Like it's not about your relationship at all. It's about the dopamine hijack. And so I work with women. Um, my goal is not to have women stay, it's to empower everybody so they're the best versions of themselves so they can choose each other every day. And I've been married for 24 years, so we've been choosing each other every day for 24 years.

SPEAKER_04 24:47

That's great. Now, did you hijack your husband's brain?

SPEAKER_00 24:50

Uh no, but he may think I have, right? Exactly. You know, it is a journey of emotional intelligence, which is an important one. And you're into it because, you know, like when you win, you're growing, right? So like it's never stopped growing. So uh the way I think of mine and my husband's relationship is like it's called an interdependent relationship. You're both strong, but like one person might be a little ahead on the journey in any season, right? And then that person pulls the other one, and then you're you keep pulling each other forward. Right.

SPEAKER_04 25:19

You know, well, you know, it's it's funny because I do work with a lot of you know, kids and and in groups and stuff, and uh even in the in the Christian and in the in the faith world, uh, you know, a lot of kids, some of the the problems that they have is lust. And they and they talk about it, you know, like I have this lust and I wish I didn't have it and I wish I could get rid of it. And what you're saying is there's actually a solution for that. It's not just hey, stop, but you know, there's a way where you can reprogram to help them.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Yes, because the question is if you have l many lustful thoughts, I love this question. Thank you, because this is great. If you have many lustful thoughts, where'd they come from? So that's the question, seriously, to people. So it's conditioned. So when you talk to those young people, they may not tell you, but in their heart of hearts, they know they've been conditioning their brain in the direction of objectification. So lusting is objectification, it's checking a person out for a body part that gives your brain a dopamine hit. We know this, we've proven scientifically again.

SPEAKER_04 26:17

So is it healthy or unhealthy?

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Very unhealthy. Lusting is unhealthy. Attraction and desire for one person, right? So, like, let's conceptualize it. You walk into a restaurant and like you see a beautiful woman. Right. There's 25 women, but you see one and you're like, you feel this, like in your in your being, right? You want to spend time with that person. That's attraction and desire. You walk into the same restaurant, there's 25 women, and you scan each and every one of them to look at what their bodies are like. That's objectification. Right. So when I'm working with people to step away from lusting, I tell them, go old school. Like, don't look at 25 people. If you walk into a room, yeah, you can quickly scan. Like if people are they're looking for girlfriends, usually. Um, and then in dating apps, I'm like, dating apps are no because it just breeds objectification. But if you are going into a dating app, find one person and build a connection with one person. Do not find 50 people that you're going back and forth with because again, it becomes dopamine hit.

SPEAKER_04 27:20

You know, I I don't do dating apps, but I but I found out that the ones that do, it's pretty much just uh I don't want to use the word escorts or stuff like that, but it's a hookup place.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

It is.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

It's really not, you know, I I know there's some people that actually have found love, you know, with that, but the majority of them it's for you know, it's for a good time.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Yeah, I tell I tell my clients all the time if you can get a woman to come over to your place immediately, you do not want that woman to come over because she's not emotionally intelligent. Right. Right? Like, especially if you're looking for a relationship. Anyone who's willing to come over 20 minutes later, like that's their dopamine.

SPEAKER_04 27:53

Maybe they need to feel wanted, right? Yeah. So that might be a problem they don't even recognize that maybe you could help them with.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

Young women have learned to be self-objectified. So, and this is what social media is doing self-objectification. And again, I have three daughters. Um, and what I was gonna say about the book I'm working on now, um, I'm affectionately calling it miswired by the algorithm, but it'll probably be changed because the publisher wouldn't usually make you change it. But um my daughter Fiona has given me permission to share her story um with the world because it was a big one and I won't tell the whole thing. But basically, like she got into this thing with a boy who was basically liking and hearting all these different young women strategically. I don't even think he knew he was doing it, but the less clothes and the thinner they got, the more you get the likes and hearts. So she literally became anorexic. She developed an eating disorder, she went down to a rail. I did not know this was going on. Um, and then uh, you know, the clothing started coming off. And then I interjected, going back to, you know, the difficult part of parenting. I took her phone away, absolute meltdown. And then I told her, when you can regulate yourself, you can have it back. This was years ago. She's 21 now. She's doing wonderfully too. And she is like such a success story, and she wants me to share her story. But that's great. Um, you know, I took her phone away, total meltdown, very difficult summer for the Lee family. And um, I said, when you can regulate, you can have your phone back. She wasn't able to. I had to cancel her phone number and she went totally off the rails. And then we worked our way back together. Uh, but you know, this is creating well, I can see so many kids today.

SPEAKER_04 29:27

I mean, you know, but that's the reality. When you look online, that's what you're looking at. And I don't care if you're superstarly, you got JLo out there, yeah. You know, she's showing her butt and everything else. You know, everybody wants to see that, you know, and and she knows that, so she's showing it. So then everybody's like, well, shoot, if they're she's gonna show her butt and get attention, right? Let me show mine.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Well, totally. Then it goes back to what you said. That's why it's difficult for me because I'm not willing to go there. Right. And it's really interesting because if I did, I could increase my everything.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

But like I have to stay in integrity, and it's interesting for me to watch influencers be influenced by their algorithm and crossing over boundaries that they might not have a couple of years ago, but it's difficult to exist within it without, you know, going there. So people do for all different reasons.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

It's so funny because you know, we live in a society that, you know, right there it's at our hand that we can see the whole world and what's going on. And, you know, whether we want to be a part of it or not, whether you think it's real or not, it is real because it's yours, you know, at that point in time.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

I was just going to say to you, people don't. This is what uh my point about training the algorithm. People think when they go on their phone, that is the world. That is the world as they've trained it to be fed to them. Everybody's existences are different now based on how they've trained their algorithm. So, like my world's filled with motivation, and my world's filled with people who are ahead of the journey that I'm trying to create for myself and my family, because those are the only people that I follow. Um, but other people's worlds are um filled with heartache and tragedy and drama and violence. So, you know, that's why another one of my cheesy sayings is curate your feed. You want to change your life, curate your feed to serve you, to have you look every day at the life you're trying to create, the couple steps ahead of you. That's how you're gonna pull yourself forward, not you know, get into a downward spiral.

SPEAKER_04 31:25

It's so interesting. This whole topic is interesting to me because you know, you know it's a problem. And the more we talk about it, the more you know, you realize that, yeah, everybody that's probably listening can tune into this and understand that okay, I'm I'm a piece of this as well. How do they go about fixing themselves? How do they go about changing who you know, who they think they are and actually become who they really are?

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Yep. It's so difficult. And this is what this is my point about Fiona. I she had to cancel her phone number. She was out of the algorithm for a month. Just a you know, so a major reset. That's why I want people to know every time you go to your phone, you are getting dopamine hits whether you want to or not. Seeking and scrolling is a dopamine behavior. Dopamine is the pursuit of pleasure. So you're training it. So the way to untrain it is to rewire your brain by giving yourself a break, curating your feed so it serves you. Identify anything that is a higher than 10 dopamine spike. Many people can feel those spikes in their brain at a certain point. They know, they know exactly what I'm talking about 11, 12, 13, 14, 20 plus. Um, curate your feed so you're not doing that to yourself. And then what happens is your dopamine receptors will regenerate, and then your life will come back online and you will suddenly find that your work is more exciting, you know, because your work can't compare. So you have to reset from your screen use. And I'm not anti-screens, I'm on them all the time, you know. So um, but I really want people to be responsible.

SPEAKER_04 32:55

Right. Well, to understand that this can happen to you and there's a reason for it. Right. Yeah, not can.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

It is, unless you're a top one percent person.

SPEAKER_04 33:05

You know, talk about the rewiring of brain because you know, I I've been taught before that there are ways where people actually go into like a holistic approach where you know you're you meditate, you can meditate. There's been people that have used, I think, mushrooms and stuff. There's uh different ways where they say they go in and re- re you know, re trigger your brain. Is that is that true? Does that really happen? You know, where some people are doing this?

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Yeah, to a certain extent. So the easiest way to think about it, and this is paring it down a lot, is that there's basically like three gears in our brain. So there's breaking, which is to slow it down, there's neutral, and then there's acceleration. So when you use mushrooms or meditation, you're trying to tap into more breaking, which many people do new, do need because they're anxious and they're ramped up using too much acceleration. But like when you do that, the idea behind mushrooms is to kind of like slow your brain down enough so you can have some realizations, right? But like that's not inherently rewiring your brain back to baseline when you go back to your life. People have had amazing experiences, so I don't want to take away from that.

SPEAKER_04 34:12

But is experience just kind of re releasing what's inside of you is that you can do it.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

It can, like for trauma, it's very powerful for trauma. Um, I'm a huge fan of meditation, um, but I would contend that the vast majority of people, the ability to meditate would um preclude them. They would not be able to do it because their brain is too ramped up, it's too wired and tired. To be able to meditate, that's a skill. Um, what I do using the technology actually can be um a gap closer for people to be able to meditate. After my program, I teach people how to use technology by themselves and then how to tap into meditation as a tool to use long term. Um, but they're powerful, but many people can't do it because of the level of dysregulation. And then the dysregulation that people experience, they wouldn't call it dysregulation. They would call it their personalities. That's why this is so tricky, right? I'm just a I'm I'm a stressed-out person, I'm a busy person, I'm a go-getter, or um, you know, I'm a little on the lazy side, or I'm unmotivated, it's difficult for me. I'm not a I'm not a starter. Like these are all descriptors that are based on how a person's brain is performing.

SPEAKER_04 35:22

Ultimately, they're excuses.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

Yeah, they just they don't even know though, right? Like what people call me all the time, and they will be, they'll say, I heard you and I felt like you were talking to me, and I had no clue that this was going on in my brain.

SPEAKER_04 35:36

Um, you know, people using drugs though to kind of settle down. Some people are using marijuana. They want to, oh, it helps me sleep. Some people say, Oh, it's like my Red Bull, it gives me energy. How do you feel about all that? I mean, is that is that a thing? Because I think it's all a cop out. I think it's all an excuse.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

Well, well, you know how I told you that the word's regulation, right? And that what I focus on is neuroregulation, which then then transcends into self-regulation. So when you go to substances or, you know, even coffee to something outside of yourself, you are either upregulating or down regulating. So you get coffee, nicotine, red bulls, energy drinks up, up, up in the morning. Then at night, marijuana, alcohol, um, pornography, screens, like down regulating. So um, you know, I always try to have viewers have some takeaways that they can do. Think about how many things you're using to upregulate your state and to downregulate. The more things that you are using, you're not able to do it yourself, which I see in people's brains. I can see that that neutral speed, people can't tap into it. So, like you and I, you know, perhaps at the end of a day, we can sit on the couch and just chill, hang out with people. 30 minutes later, we're calmer, the work's leaving our minds.

SPEAKER_04 36:56

I wish that was me. That's regulating. I wish that was me, unfortunately. I'm the guy that's the brain's working all night.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Yeah, see, like if your brain's working all night, which sleep. Don't get me wrong, mine sometimes does. Thankfully, I can sleep really well. If you can't sleep, your brain's not turning off. I see that in your brain map. And then for peak performance and optimized brain function, you need to be able to get restorative sleep. So my work only optimizes. It would never make anything worse for you. So, like for you, you would still be a go-getter in the day. You would just be able to turn it off at night. And when you woke up, you would feel refreshed beyond what you felt in a long time.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

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SPEAKER_00 39:48

That's regulation.

SPEAKER_04 39:49

That sounds so refreshing.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Yeah, and and you know, just just to again, like, you know, I'm a human being with five children and multiple businesses. I and I have seen my own brain performance over years. Like 15 years ago, if you met me, I'm a different person now, maybe 20, um, just because of all the work I've done with neuromodulation and then with behavioral change. You can only change your behaviors if your brain is more regulated. And then it becomes the upward spiral, right? More regulated, you get better behaviors, which helps you be more regulated. So, like I'm the poster child for this, where now um, you know, I've been busier than ever, and I've been really psyched with myself being able to get um beautiful sleep. We have a sleep number bed. I got a 98 last week. How do you do that?

SPEAKER_04 40:36

I know, and I'm like I got I sleep eight too. And let me tell you what, I think I hit a 56 last night. Yeah, you know, and yeah, if I can go to 70, I'm doing good.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

It prompted me to send my award to my husband. Like, and he's like, congratulations. I was like, no congratulations necessary, but he knows how many balls I have in the air right now. So that is that's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 40:55

So, all joking aside, seriously though, how you know somebody is struggling with sleep, like myself. How do we how do we shut it down? Like, what are some of the things, routines that we can do? And I've heard about them all, you know, shut the lights off, get rid of the screen time, you know, take the magnesium. You know, you're doing all the things that you know that you're supposed to do, but sometimes the brain just doesn't want to go with you. Yeah, you know, you're like, please fall asleep.

SPEAKER_00 41:18

The most powerful thing, yeah. No, the most powerful thing you can do is to take micro breaks throughout your day. They are understated. There's a scientific study that shows three minutes of mindful breathing, just breathing slower, it stimulates your vagus nerve, which calms the whole nervous system down. Three minutes. Y'all have you have three minutes, I have three minutes.

SPEAKER_04 41:40

Three minutes is a long time when you just take three minutes.

SPEAKER_00 41:42

It is. It's a very long time, but it's so powerful.

SPEAKER_04 41:44

I get a cold plunge for three minutes, and trust me. Oh, yeah, well, cold plunge forever.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Yeah, those are different. I could tell you the neuroscience behind cold plunges because it's totally awesome.

SPEAKER_04 41:52

Yeah, I'd love to know that.

SPEAKER_00 41:53

But the idea of taking these three-minute resets throughout the day is all day long, especially if you're performing and you're working like we are, your high beta, it's called that fast speed acceleration in your brain is going up. It is going up. You can't stop it. The more you work and don't take a break, it is going up and it creates anxiety or a brain that doesn't turn off. But if you turn it off throughout the day, now your trajectory at the end of the day isn't here. It's here. And now you can sleep. And then number two is your evening and um bedtime routine. Evening routine, you have to create time and space for the energy to come down and not go to something that suppresses it. It's called suppression. So you have three cocktails, suppression. You go on your screen for two hours, suppression. You consume explicit content, suppression. And that's what I said earlier. The muscle memory of your brain being able to turn off, you lose the muscle memory. And now you're dependent on something else to do it for you.

SPEAKER_04 42:53

You know, the one thing I learned as again older, trying to biohack, um, you know, working and learning, and Gary Brecka, a really good friend of mine. Uh, in fact, we also had the the boys from the cold life. So we talked about the cold plunge and how effective that is and stuff. But you you know, having a sleep routine is important. We we have a morning routine when people wake up, whether it's go to the bathroom, put water in your face, clean your eyes, brush your teeth, whatever that you're morning, but we don't think of it at nighttime as a sleep routine. You know, going in bed at a certain time, you know, to me it was always when the body shuts down, it's ready to go to bed.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:24

You know, but you really do have to program it. You do, you know, be because of things and because of health to just to stay healthy.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

I got pretty good at that. I got very good at that, I should say. About um maybe 10, 15 years ago, I set an alarm to go to bed. And, you know, I have a lot of kids, so that's what I do.

SPEAKER_04 43:43

I'm like my 10 o'clock. It's like, boom, you better get in the room.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Yep. You get in and you start winding down. And then uh, you know, when I was younger, we'd go out and we'd stay out super late. Like now I turn into a pumpkin. Midnight, the latest. You know, like my friends were we all went out last Friday night, I think it was midnight. I'm like, goodbye. Friends, they're at my house, you know. I've gone to sleep in the middle of parties at my house because I'm like, midnight is just not worth it the next day because I have, you know, it's purpose again, it goes back to your identity. My identity, I there I have more in the day I care about than you know, staying up from 12 to 2. My husband stayed up last week and he's like, I cannot regret that decision more. You know, I'm like, and we had a great time from seven to midnight. Like 12 to 2 wasn't necessary in my mind.

SPEAKER_04 44:25

Yeah, the old saying, nothing good happens after midnight. It's exactly it. I tell my kids that.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

And you know, you have to protect that. And sometimes it becomes challenging to protect it, but again, your priorities, right?

SPEAKER_04 44:35

Yeah, exactly what it turns into. Um, you know, what do you think is the biggest problem that's out there today with people's brains?

SPEAKER_00 44:43

Um, basically what I've said that people are stuck in strained brain, they don't identify it as a problem, it eludes them until they have um some type of health crisis, which I do think anxiety, AD, ADHD symptoms, which is comes from everything I've talked about, and then arousal for intimacy, the three A's. Um, and then they don't realize it's an issue and it's behaviorally driven. Um, I have I have another unique perspective in, you know, I've had thousands of thousands of conversations with people once they've hit this critical mass from whatever thing they've been doing. I've heard the phrase, I thought I was taking this one to the grave more than probably any other middle-aged woman has. Um, but you know, it's because people have been doing a thing and they could kind of feel it getting worse and worse. And they're not crazy things, they're just things that other people are doing too, but they could feel it getting worse and worse and they know they can't stop, but that gets scary. When you have a behavior and you know you can't stop, you don't want to say, okay, I have an addiction. Uh, friends, I have an addiction. Let's call the recovery van, you know, like you're kind of panicking in silence and not sure what to do about it. So that's why it's insidious. Insidious is a great word. It's happening to millions of people. You know, that's why I say it's a pandemic, right? Like COVID, but it's not going anywhere. It's in the free fall, and it's happening in silence in people's homes.

SPEAKER_04 46:13

Well, you know, you talk about addiction too, being a one of the gentlemen actually started the cold plunge. Um, he was addicted to Adderall and stuff, ADHD, he was a kid, and more and more and more got to that point, and he found that cold plunging actually helped him. Yeah. And that really got him his sobriety. So, you know, he's no longer, you know, on that. But yeah, now that's the case.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

Yeah, cold plunges, cold, yeah. Yeah, cold plunges release more dopamine than like other healthy, natural, real life. And the dopamine stays around longer than any other activity. So that's a really powerful way to get that dopamine, especially if you're if you have conditioned your brain to need it from something else that's unhealthy. Right. Like I always say to people, you know, uh, progress, not perfection. So whatever you need to do to stop doing the least worst thing and be on the journey towards healthier and healthier behaviors can be really powerful. Um, but uh cold plunges, I do want people to know that they are a stressor. So that's really cool for regulation, though, because you get into a cold plunge and it hits you, and now you have to regulate. So if you can stay in for three minutes, you basically are training your brain, the muscle, right, to handle a stressor and then keep regulating within a stressful situation. That can take you so far, right? Most people don't. Most people are trained for comfort. That's what dopamine is. Comfort all the time, no discomfort. So when you put yourself in a position of discomfort and then you can move through the stress of it, you know, boom, you're training your brain back to real world.

SPEAKER_04 47:47

Right, right. And you can overcome a lot when that happens. You can, you know, talk about some of these um healthier things and talk about sauna stuff. Does that help the brain? Does that hurt the brain? Yeah, you know, I know it helps the heart. They say that's a good thing, but talk about some of the some of the things that that are really good for the brain that maybe some of the viewers don't know or you know, haven't you?

SPEAKER_00 48:06

Definitely, and my work falls into the category of biohacking.

SPEAKER_04 48:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

And I own one of everything just like you do. I have a full spectrum uh infrared sauna in my home that I use frequently. Uh, yeah, really powerful. Um, in our in our cells, there's mitochondria. They're the powerhouse of the cell. So, like, also all of these modalities get to every single cell, even your brain cells, and basically like rejuvenating them from the inside out. So, and heat's different than cold. Um, one caution, because I know a lot of people like to go from heat directly into cold. You are that can be dangerous for some people, long story short.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

So they say the opposite's even worse, or right, cold in the heat.

SPEAKER_00 48:45

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can really uh put your system in, you know, a funk from going from one extreme to the other.

unknown 48:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

So powerful. There's so many things that you can do at home. But I would encourage people to find the thing that works for them and pace it because you can get addicted to trying all the things, and before you know it, um, and I have a few clients in this category, which they know who they are because I'm always telling them this, is that less doing, more being. Because the doing of things is a high beta activity. It will make you need dopamine to offset all the doing that you've done all day long. People have forgotten how to be. Right. And you know, the people say to me, What do you mean? I don't understand. I'm like, just literally sit on your couch, don't do anything else. Don't put your phone away, sit there for 10 minutes. You would think I said, go solve world peace.

SPEAKER_04 49:33

They can't do it.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

They can't do it because the you know, that mode in their brain of getting to calm, calm engagement, just being alert and calm, has is deteriorating. But, you know, by practicing that, I do that myself. I will sit in these chairs that I have. And usually, no, now my kids, well, they'll be home from college now for the summer, which is fun. Um, but like I'll just sit around there in the evening and then they come in and out. So it's a way that I'm just around and I get to have these spontaneous conversations, but I'm also continuing to teach myself to do nothing and enjoy it, and also in the evening, bringing all the energy down. Gotcha. But there's lots of things you can do, but find the things that I use my sauna a lot. I don't cold plunge as often. I'll I'll take cold showers though. But my sauna is kind of that thing that is in my routine, and I really love it. You know, I have vibration plates. My husband and I were naming all the things. He's like, you should really do that. Um, my husband's chiropractor, he has something called superhuman lab, all the really cool red lights. Um, we have all the lasers. I have a red light at home, but you really can just be in this go, go, go, do, do, do mode. So I love people to know doing and then do brain neutral activities too.

SPEAKER_04 50:43

Yeah, that's important. Um, knowledge is strong. And I don't think people get enough of it. And you know, we talk about influencers and what people are watching. Now, you mentioned you're in the boxing. I gotta ask, you know, you got in the boxing, you're about, you know, you enjoy it clearly. Now, do you reach out and look at it online when you're on social media? Do you never pay any attention to it? You still. I really like it, you don't pay attention to it. Honestly, I should. Yeah, I think. I mean, I'm just curious about that because that's the one thing. Like, if you like something, you're gonna reach out to that because you want to learn new techniques, new movements, new things, uh, and it helps you grow, right?

SPEAKER_00 51:15

I have the fight camp app. So I use the fight camp app, and then my youngest daughter will drive in October. And I have been dying to go up to Title Boxing and join it, but I just not have not been able to because I've been driving kids for 23 years. But um, I have the Fight Camp app and I practice uh different moves, but I don't. But that's basically my Instagram was hacked last week, by the way. So my personal account is gone, and so is my professional account. But in my personal account, it was all like motivating feeds. Um, my daughter rides horses, so I follow a lot of horse stuff. Like that is one thing that I do. I love the horse equestrian world. I'm really um getting into it.

SPEAKER_04 51:51

So now they're not she's not riding like the fake horse in the fake equestrian because they have that.

SPEAKER_00 51:56

Yeah, I know they didn't. What's up with that? Like right there. Talk about where we're at.

SPEAKER_04 52:00

You know what I'm saying? Like I'm I'm like, boom. I'm confused. No, she jumps.

SPEAKER_00 52:05

Uh she's up to the phone.

SPEAKER_04 52:06

Well, they jump too, but they go with the two legs.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

Nope. She's jumping, I jump. She's really cool. So I should follow boxing. Yeah. I took motorcycle lessons a few years ago. Like I was following motorcycle influencers at that point.

SPEAKER_04 52:19

So you got your little dopamines in you. Totally.

SPEAKER_00 52:21

Yeah, like and I think go try all the cool, funky things in the world.

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 52:25

Like, go try them all, because why not? Like, I'm into that. I think people should explore anything that comes into their heart and mind. But like, you know, I don't think I people should go do a thing because they see Susie Q doing it and now they feel like they have to. But I think if you follow people passively, you no longer know what you inherently like or not.

SPEAKER_04 52:46

I'm just against somebody that has to do something in order to do something. Yes, yes. You know what I mean? Because to me, it's like if you gotta be on something to do something, then that's really not your dopamine head. You think it is, but it's really not.

SPEAKER_02 52:58

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 52:58

You know, because whether you gotta get high, whether you had to get drunk, whether you had to do, you know what I mean? You're doing things and you're saying, oh, but I have to do this to do that.

SPEAKER_00 53:06

Yep. That's a problem. And that's a disinhibition. You're and many people do this. You need a disinhibitor to go do the other thing because you can't do it in a regulated state. You you have to dysregulate yourself more. So, like, even just socially, right? Like, um, you know, I probably was guilty of this because I'm an introvert. I was probably guilty of this back in the day. Um, thankfully, my husband and I have we've barely been drinking, like in the grand scheme of things. But you know, I'm not one to go into a huge party and um, so you know, you'd have a cocktail before you went to disinhibit. So, but then I came up with a strategy. Uh, my strategy, uh, which I've been talking about for years, is I still use it, is when I go to a party, I will introduce myself to every single person when I walk in. Sure. And then I'll say, How do you like to spend your time? And then they'll tell me all about themselves. And then if we we hit it off, we have a conversation, but then I'm free to not have to like be on because I'm on a lot. So at a party, I just want to turn off and be with my friends, you know. So, um, but you know, I used to like just drink to be on the whole time. And now I'm like, I don't even need to do that.

SPEAKER_04 54:10

You know, and there's some people that are afraid to have those conversations. Yeah. So they want to just fit in.

SPEAKER_00 54:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:15

And therefore the drinking happens. Like, I gotta order a drink to do this and fit in. Um, not too many people, you're seeing it more nowadays where you people you can go out and you can go to a bar and not have a drink and be socially acceptable. Whereas in the past, you know, people like, oh, you wimp, or you know, you know, you know, you would you do you have a problem with alcohol or something? You know, you get you get judged, right? And a lot of people wouldn't do that because of that reason.

SPEAKER_00 54:39

Yeah, and you know what's interesting about that, which just culturally, less people are drinking because more people are getting their hits from their screen and there's more vaping.

SPEAKER_04 54:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:48

So just inherently less young people drink, right? Which I think is pretty wild, right?

SPEAKER_04 54:51

Well, and I think also a lot of more people are on a health kick. Yeah. So I think the the health kick is really, really helping, and people are now less, you know, drinking because they are trying to focus on health.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

Yeah, for sure. And that is good.

SPEAKER_04 55:02

Yeah, yeah, for sure. All right, so this is a part of the show where I do a little rapid fire question. So gonna go ahead and throw some things at you. I just want some quick answers to see what you think. Cold plunge or cardio for brain reset?

SPEAKER_00 55:13

Cardio.

SPEAKER_04 55:14

Delete social media or limit it.

SPEAKER_00 55:17

Limit and curate.

SPEAKER_04 55:19

Okay. Biggest mistake high performers make.

SPEAKER_00 55:22

Um, never turning off.

SPEAKER_04 55:24

One habit everyone should stop immediately.

SPEAKER_00 55:27

I would say pornography.

SPEAKER_04 55:29

All right. One habit everyone should start tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

Start tomorrow reading. Less people read than ever.

SPEAKER_04 55:36

Dopamine destroying relationships, or is it people doing it?

SPEAKER_00 55:39

No, it's the dopamine. It's the hijacker.

SPEAKER_04 55:41

Brain more important to health or diet?

SPEAKER_00 55:44

Brain all day long.

SPEAKER_04 55:46

First thing to do to see if your brain is hijacked.

SPEAKER_00 55:48

Get a brain map. That's what I help people do.

SPEAKER_04 55:51

Why can't people focus anymore?

SPEAKER_00 55:53

Uh, because their brains are hijacked. They don't know.

SPEAKER_04 55:56

Is porn running is porn ruining relationships or making them better?

SPEAKER_00 56:01

No. Ruining.

SPEAKER_04 56:03

Who focuses better? Men or women?

SPEAKER_00 56:07

Regulated people. It's actually not gender-specific. Better functioning brains, they focus on that.

SPEAKER_04 56:12

Look at you're saying all the right things.

SPEAKER_00 56:13

It's true though.

SPEAKER_04 56:15

A couple more. Could someone be addicted or uh to dopamine?

SPEAKER_00 56:19

Yes. To high levels of dopamine.

SPEAKER_04 56:22

What do you do to fix that if you are?

SPEAKER_00 56:24

You have to reset and get uh I call it a pleasure pathway reset. You have to reset your pleasure pathways in your brain to not need as much dopamine and reset them back into your life.

SPEAKER_04 56:35

And how is that done?

SPEAKER_00 56:36

It is done by not getting above a 10 in the dopamine, which it's most, it's all screen based. And then the screen base bleeds out into the world.

SPEAKER_04 56:45

But if you had to teach somebody and tell them, okay, this is what you got to do, you tell them, get rid of your phones. Yeah, most people put them down for a few days.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

Get your get rid of your phone, curate your feed first, get rid of your phone. Um, anything comes towards you that you now have identified as a dopamine spike, block it, unfollow. And uh I've I've on my intake form, there's question what do you do for fun? What how do you express your creativity? And you know what's there most of the time? NA, not applicable. Like, get back to having fun, get back to expressing your creativity.

SPEAKER_04 57:16

Right. What happens people say though? Pornography is fun to me.

SPEAKER_00 57:18

Uh, they do say that. And then what happens? Uh I say that's a hijacker comment. When people say I can, like, you know, and I say it lovingly and non-judgmentally, when people say things to me that are clearly informed by the hijacker, their brain is very hijacked.

SPEAKER_04 57:33

But you've never watched pornography. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 57:35

I haven't consumed pornography regularly. Like I've seen pornography, I've never gone out of my way to watch pornography. But now I'm guarded against I would never watch pornography. Like, you know, I've seen pornography.

SPEAKER_04 57:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

Before I pivoted into pornography, I didn't care about it at all.

SPEAKER_04 57:51

Right. Which the in my book I write the study in it, you would think you'd have to know a little bit about it.

SPEAKER_00 57:55

So that's why I think in my book, I write the story that the reason I pivoted into this is because someone I care about, I figured out they were addicted to it. And it blew my mind. And I I literally had to, I did it affect a relationship. I yeah, there is it was it's a man. Um, his relationship in the throughout the entire book, I talk about his relationship with his wife and the things that were showing up and how it was deteriorating. And um he, I knew about this before I had pivoted. I couldn't stop thinking about this. Once I looked into the science, I'm like, this is just insane. This is the number one way I can make impact. And I used to have practiced with my husband in our office. I left the office, created my business, and have doubled down on it since because yeah, so it's ruining relationships.

SPEAKER_04 58:45

Well, I know that you've done some real successful people you've worked with and you've helped them out of certain things. What are some of the some of the biggest problems or some of the biggest people that you've worked with that you've actually helped? You know, so people can understand that there is I can't say that because there's NDAs.

SPEAKER_00 59:01

There's NDAs, okay.

SPEAKER_04 59:02

But there are some people out there that there is an end-all. Now you've got some really good success stories based on your practice and what you've done with them.

SPEAKER_00 59:10

Yeah. So I work with a lot of high performers. I work with um a lot of professionals and uh, you know, famous people that their jobs are very dopamine producing, but they become hijacked, so then their performance decreases. And but here's one thing I've heard from a lot of my like top clients is like, I'm doing fine. Like, why should I really care? I'm doing fine. I'm like, you're doing fine, but you're addicted to this. Like you said, you need this to perform. You stop doing basically pornography, you stop this behavior, you will slide backwards because of withdrawal. Like, you you're not able to peak perform without high levels of dopamine hits. And a lot of them realize that. And then another thing that happens too, like, especially with professional athletes, you know, I work with a variety of professional athletes, they can feel the pull because their number one love used to be the game. And they can feel that there's more dopamine from you know, content and from these beh behaviors that are pulling them, and that freaks them out.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:16

Sure. You know, it and it's a big problem with that because of the social media again. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because, you know, you didn't hear about this 30 years ago, you know, with with professional athletes and and a show. You didn't know what people had or what they made and what they did.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:31

And now it's just like I said, you just open up your phone and and you can you can find out and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

Yeah, and messaging too. So, like for a lot of prof for a lot of high performers, we're talking about other human beings being involved. So, like, you know, a dating apps on steroids, basically, because obviously then uh they're you know sought after people, so it can get the that's the parasocial relationships. They're transactional, they're not like they don't involve intimacy. And then they lead to intimacy disorders. And that's when young people really start to, you know, the alarm bells are going off, something's wrong with me. And then I want people to know it's not you, it's your brain.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:09

Gotcha. So somebody out there watching right now wants to get a hold of you, got a problem, wants to use you. How do they find you? How do they get a hold of you? Yeah, and what does it take? Do they got to come to North Carolina?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

No, this is something you can do. So you can go to drishlee.com. Um, my last name's L-E-I-G-H, and there I do private consultations. It's really important, even though it keeps me busy. The first step when I work with a person is to have a phone consultation with me. It's phone on purpose so that it feels safe if you haven't told your story to anybody. Um, but then from there I work with people all over the world. Uh, I have partnered with the highest tech and the highest software company to be able to have the wearable in my own app. So I work with people in um many, many, many countries.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:55

That's awesome. So I advise you go get the book. Okay, get it on Amazon, I'm guessing. Yeah, and you get anywhere. Get anywhere. Go get go get the book, read the book. Um, believe it or not, more and more people have problems. You know it. You're sitting out there wondering, hmm, is my brain being hijacked? 99% of the time, it probably is. Okay. So are you expensive, Doc? This is an expensive treatment to get treated.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:17

Well, it's an investment, I will tell you that. But um, you know, the answer is no in the grand scheme of things, because uh, you know, expensive's a relative term. So something's expensive now.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:27

People gotta pay for it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:28

But you know, I it's very important to me to help all people. So to work with me directly in my program is a larger investment. I have an intensive where you can call me or text me. That's even more of a you know, an expense. Um, but I also offer a masterclass, which is more do-it-yourself, but there's group coaching with me. And then I have a YouTube channel with thousands of videos where all the information and brain hacks, as I call them, the book is $10, right? So that's a really good starting point. So uh working with me personally and know there's levels, and it's I I think it's important to have it be an investment because when you commit and you invest, uh actually, a gentleman told me this the other day. He's like, I realized I need to invest in myself because this has been plaguing me for years. And I'm like, let's do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:13

Yeah, absolutely. Anything left do you want to tell the viewers before we go?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:18

No, I think we've covered all the important things, but um, you know, back to the what's more important, um, of course, eating well, but I want people to know most of the challenges that they have do come from their brain. They just don't realize it. Your brain runs your mind and your body. It's the supercomputer. So if you're struggling, I've talked to so many people who stay in that struggle for a lifetime and they think it's hopeless. And there's a huge body of scientific literature on learned hopeless or helplessness. This is not helpless. You know, any of these things that come from your brain, there is technology that can help you. So I don't want people to sit there for one more minute thinking they're a lost cause. That's important for me to let people know.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:01

That's awesome. And there you have it, folks. You heard it right there from Dr. Lee herself. Listen, if you got any questions at all, if you're wondering, if you're stuck in any type of situation and you're wondering if you can get out of it, the answer is yes, of course you can. And you know what your boy Wham Bam always says remember, if your life was a movie, would it be worth watching? And if the answer is no, you have an ordinary movie starting. So next Wednesday, baby.