Episode 22 From Stiff to Strong: Mobility meets motivation

From Stiff to Strong: Mobility meets motivation

In this episode of Faded to Fabulous, the hosts welcome Emily Boynton, owner of The Fit in Derry, personal trainer, longtime student of women’s nutrition, and aspiring certified life coach, who shares how women’s health became central to her life after losing her mom to health issues. Emily describes The Fit as a co-ed, safe, supportive gym focused on strength, conditioning, mobility, flexibility, injury prevention, and programming that helps people move better. She discusses her past struggles with body image, why tying worth to looks is risky as standards change, and encourages women to “wear the bathing suit” and live without constant self-scrutiny. Emily explains why resistance training is non-negotiable (“badass and bone density”), emphasizes it’s relative and accessible, and offers strategies for moving from knowledge to action, managing discomfort, shutting down negative self-talk, and building self-trust through safe, purposeful challenge and fun, gamified workouts.

00:00 Worth Beyond Looks
00:21 Podcast Welcome
00:50 Meet Emily Boynton
02:27 What Makes The Fit Different
04:00 Body Image Journey
06:08 Wear The Bathing Suit
06:35 Badass And Bone Density
09:58 From Knowing To Doing
12:16 Let It Be Hard
13:18 Getting Back In
14:22 Come As You Are
16:16 Quieting Negative Self Talk
17:06 Try Fail Grow
18:28 Trusting Future You
20:02 Coaching With Joy
20:47 Games That Make Fitness Fun
22:08 Gratitude And Sendoff

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I knew probably right around the age of 25 that if I kept hanging my worth on my looks, I was headed for trouble because it's constantly changing and the standards are constantly changing. So I needed to really become very okay, not looking the way that people thought that I should look.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Welcome to Faded to Fabulous, the podcast for women who know that midlife is not the end. It's the beginning of something bold. Let's get into it. Hi, ladies. Welcome to Faded to Fabulous. So glad that you're with us.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Hey, we have a guest. I love having a guest. And this is actually a very, very special guest. So I like the what what do we call this? And from stiff to strong, mobility meets motivation. Yeah. I figured that covered you really well. So here with us today, we have Emily Boynton. She is a very special person to me. She is the owner of the fit in dairy. And I believe I met you a year and a half ago. So I said, I'm gonna come try a class. And of course I'm addicted and I'm never leaving. You can't get rid of me. But there's something very special about Emily and the way that she takes care of people who are there. It's so much more than a place to move your body. Like she legitimately just loves everybody there and wants the best for us. So I think you're wonderful, but I'm gonna let you introduce yourself a little bit too.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

I heard she's a little bit tough.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Oh, she's mean. We'll get to that.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

We'll get down to this beautiful woman in front of me right now. Like not looked tough. Not at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

That's how she gets away. That's her superpower.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

She has this like beautiful warm face and smile. You know you're screwed. Yeah. Oh yeah. How am I even gonna begin to talk? My God, I'm Emily Boynton. I am all of those things. I also have studied nutrition for women for years. I'm coming up on 19 years of studying nutrition, which is crazy important to me. I'm the youngest of four girls, and I have a younger stepsister. I'm totally in love with my mom, who we lost too early because of health issues. So women's health has been a center point in my life since I was 21. I also am studying to be a certified life coach, which I'm really excited about. And I'm a personal trainer. And November 2024, I jumped into owning my own business, which is a wild adventure, as you know.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

Tell us about the fit. It's is it women only?

SPEAKER_00 2:31

No, no. So we talked about being women only, but for me to have that influence, men need safe spaces to work out just as much as women. And I also think it's incredibly empowering for men to see what women can do. We tend to attract the type of man who is going to sit there and not only cheer and try to keep up with these phenomenal females, um, but just be excited for them. Like it's just an amazing, yeah. And so for us, it was really important that we stayed co-ed and had that because men need safe spaces too. And honestly, a lot of times when women start to work out with us, we get their people and we want to take care of their people too. Awesome. So if you have, you know, your boyfriend who is like, Planet Fitness is boring, or you know, I go to a gym and no one knows my name, or I keep getting hurt. Um, we want to take care of you, and that means taking care of your people too. We try to incorporate movements that keep people moving. So everything from strength and conditioning to mobility and flexibility, stimulating muscles in all different parts, including conditioning, which people, you know, the cardiovascular health. Um, those are the parts that I think she says that I'm tough, okay. Okay. So it's a space for people to come and not have to worry about being on their guard while they work out where they're challenged. We're gonna do the workouts for them as far as programming goes. And we do a ton of injury prevention. Love that.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

We need that. So, Emily, you did a post recently on social media that I think was it was surprising to me. So, hearing your history of you were in soccer and you did all these sports and you've always been in fitness, but you kind of made a raw post about your struggle, younger years with body image. And so, what was that journey like, if you don't mind talking about it?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yeah, absolutely. Um, so unfortunately, it's completely everyone can identify with some type of body image. And um I actually coach a lot of women. We have our women's retreat next week, which I'm so excited about. And one of the evenings we spend is talking about body image and body confidence and that view of self, because everyone struggles with some type of body image sticky spot. And for me, I grew up, I was a really overweight kid, and I knew probably right around the age of 25 that if I kept hanging my worth on my looks, I was headed for trouble. Um, because it's constantly changing and the standards are constantly changing. So I needed to really become very okay, not looking the way that people thought that I should look, and try to pivot and find my value in other places. And that became a mission for me to help other women do as well, because you you have no idea what you're gonna look like two years from now, five years from now. And so to put all those eggs in that basket of if I look right, I will do it. And the other piece for me is I just want women to step out of their head a little bit and stop thinking about what they look like while they're living and live their life, regardless of what it looks like from the outside. Um, growing up as a female athlete, you saw that a lot. I mean, female girls at the age eight start dropping out of athletics. It's horrifying to me. Not because they don't enjoy it or because they're not good at it, but because they fear the way that they look while they're performing that sport. So yeah, that struggle was real. And I've also watched my sisters go through it, my nieces. I mean, every woman I can identify with, I have a sticky spot when it comes to body image.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Wow. Yeah, I loved your post about wear the bathing suit.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Yeah, and that's that's the other thing. Like, if I ask people all the time, if you never saw another image of yourself, what would you wear? Like, how would you dress yourself to be comfortable and be comfortable in your own skin? And you know, when you go to a beach, do you really want to be covered from head to toe, or would you wear that bikini? Because you like from the inside out, how are you gonna make those choices about how you want to be living?

SPEAKER_01 6:33

I love that. I love that too.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

So my one of my favorite conversations with all of our clients is that resistance training is not optional. And I don't believe that it's optional for anyone, any age, any gender, at any stage in life. I think it's really, really important. But I want to hear what you have to say about resistance training. Like what's your mantra?

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Yeah. Um, a lot of times it's badass and bone density. Love it.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

So I love it. Yeah, I love it. You know what? That's a really good tattoo. Resistance training is badass. What's the other part? Bone density. And bone density.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Love it. I think a lot of times resistance training gets a people look at it in the wrong light. So resistance training or, you know, progressive overload or heavy lifting is all relative. And I think we lose that in the conversation a lot when we talk about weightlifting because people think that they need to be putting these heavy loads, um, moving all of this weight in a really uncomfortable manner for their body. And most of the time when people are starting, they just don't have the mobility to do it. And again, weight training is relative. So if you have been lifting no weights and you go to lifting 10 pounds, congratulations, you've just done some resistance training. And for me, it's fundamental not only for you know that badass portion of the confidence building that you have. And it's confidence not only because wow, I just lifted that weight, it's confidence because you start to move better and life becomes easier because we're stronger now, right? So, and we have better mobility, but it's everything from you know your insulin resistance to the energy you have to how you feel the fact that you can bend over and put your shoes on. So, yeah, I agree. Resistance training is non-negotiable, but I do wish that people would realize that the dosage is different for everyone and it is accessible to everyone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

And and I like the way that you do things because, and I explain this to people that I'm like, you have to go try a class. Yes, you push and it's good. Uh the way you talk about the reason that we're doing these things, it always for you. How many times do you say 80-year-old you getting off the toilet? Yeah. 80-year-old you getting off the floor. And that's like that's something that we talk about all the time. And it's tough for women, I think, in midlife to shift away from I would need to be in a smaller, more attractive body into I need to take care of this body so that it's really functional at 80, and it's really a shift. But you, I feel like you're just on that messaging all the time, which is so important.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

Thank you. Yeah, it's powerful. Resistance training means you're taking some of your power back, particularly in midlife at a point where you don't feel like yourself in your own skin. So, resistance training always for me is like this is their first step to getting your power back, to feeling like yourself again. Um, and that's learning to maybe move your body in a different way, but certainly moving your body in a way that is an investment in your future. And so, yeah, that's a cornerstone to when we're talking to people about why we have to do some of these exercises and have to, I should say, we get to, because a lot of times once we lose that mobility, it struggles to get back. So we want to keep it for as long as possible. And and I mean, women are so hyper-independent for so many different reasons, and resistance training allows us to be independent for longer and be that caretaker without the back at back end burnout of our body, not just, you know, body, mind, and soul going through perimenopause.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

So this was this, and yeah, another sticky point for me too. Transitioning from knowing you need to do something to implementing, right? So, do you have particular strategies that you like? You know, someone comes to you, maybe their first time, and they have been told by Vicky and I that, you know, resistance training is not an option for you. You need to figure out a way of making it happen in your life. How do you help that person get from knowledge to implementation?

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Yeah, and some of that is different for everybody. Some people need more of a push, some people need to be more educated on it. A lot of the time, it is as simple as something is always better than nothing. Yeah. So, whatever you can give me today, you need to meet your body where you're at and then move forward. Yeah. And looking at it from a long-term perspective of this session right now, of you being totally uncomfortable and not knowing any of the movements, is going to build to you eventually knowing the movements, feeling comfortable when you step in the gym and then making it about seeing what you can do. But a lot of times it is the sticking point of I can't do what I used to be able to do, which is huge. And the I'm completely and totally uncomfortable because I feel as though I should already know how to do these things. And I remind people a lot, you do not do this every day. This is not your job to do push-ups. This is not your job to learn how to do, you know, a dumbbell row. So stepping into the gym and realizing just continue to meet yourself where you're at. It's the only way in which you can move forward. And the big piece of that is we we really try not to have people abandon themselves in the gym. Yes. And say, just try it. You never know. Just take a deep breath, give it a try. If that doesn't work for you, we will find something that works for you. And I think that messaging of not being in the black and white of you got to step in the gym, you got to do it perfectly and do it like you did when you were 22, and everybody's gonna laugh at you if you don't, um, giving them that space to, you know, get it wrong, to try, to fail, to be totally uncomfortable, and then also accept the fact that where you are today is just a starting point. But if you do not get started, we're not gonna go anywhere. Yeah. You're just gonna be standing right where you are. So it is, it's a huge, it's a huge conversation that we have in a lot of subtle ways with people when they get in the gym.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

It's interesting. I had a thought of a yoga instructor that gave me this great point one time, working on balance. And she said, you know, the intention of this is not to be balanced. The intention of this is to live through the imbalance. And I'm like, right? Oh yeah. So that fight to stay in a tree pose and you're all over the place and your brain's like, what's wrong with you? Why can't you balance? And she's like, that's where you're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

The goal is not perfect balance, the goal is to live in the imbalance.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

I'm like, the goal is to practice getting better. And a lot of times when we're in sticky situations, one of the things that I say to people is just let it be hard. Yes. Like, yeah, yeah, but let it be hard. It's not supposed to be easy. I don't mean that as a tattoo.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Yeah, yes, it could be construed inappropriately. So I just said, maybe not that tattoo, but she's gonna love it. I like doing some particularly hard things. I feel like you can read mine sometimes. I feel like you read mine because I think where I get stuck and where a lot of people get stuck is always in the brain. It's not the body, it's the brain. And so I can see it as I'm in some position, leg shaking, holding it, and knowing there's 15 seconds left and thinking, I don't think I can do this for much longer. And you're really able to say, Don't give up on yourself. This is 10 seconds for you. And but you you do a really great job of helping people horse stalk. And that is probably a huge part of your job. And you see that with people who, for example, stop showing up because they have stuff going on in their lives. And I'll tell you uh a personal, I had gone through just a series of just life mess, and uh I was not showing up at the gym. I didn't have it in my tank to give, but I all of a sudden I start getting messages. Come Emily, I missed you today. And then I start getting messages from other random friends of mine from the gym. Anyway, I what kinds of things do you do besides reaching out with kind messages to help people with overcome that stuck in their head?

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Yeah, and I it always is the just get in here message. Like it doesn't have to be pretty, it never really is. And getting the momentum going, the stagnancy of being somewhere that you know you don't want to be, knowing that you should be doing these things. A lot of times you feel alone or you're embarrassed to get back in the gym. So reaching out and letting people know, like, come back anytime. We'll take you however you are, take some of that pressure off of them. And even one of my favorite things is when someone comes back to us, I'm so excited to see them, but it is never a message of, oh, where have you been? Oh no, zero effect know already what they should be doing. And for me, I always am trying to message to them that this is your time. And I know that if you are not in here, where is your time? Where is your time in your day that is just for you to step out of your head and into your body a little bit to create all those feel-good chemicals? Um, sort of remind them that, you know, you are actually worth this 45 minutes of work that we're gonna do. And if you're not plugging and chugging in the gym to give yourself that space and time, where is it coming from? And are you okay? And I think that's the biggest piece that I think sometimes we miss is um we should be working out, but a lot of times working out is what helps us be okay for various amounts of reasons. Um feel good chemical muscle contractions, all of that. But also it's a lot of for our participants, the only time that they are just them. No one needs anything from them. They get to step in, they're no longer mom, boss, brother, caretaker. They're just them. So for me, I'm constantly asking people, you know, are you showing up for you? Like, where is that space in your life that is just for you where you can just be Vicky? Um, so it's really important to me when I don't see people to make sure that they are still okay and they are creating that space to be themselves.

SPEAKER_03 16:16

How do you help women who bring with them into the space negative self-talk? How do you what's because it's pervasive. It's pervasive. Yeah. Do you just shut it down? Sometimes, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I do. But my road is like, okay, no negative narrative in my space.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Yeah, truly. And sometimes like we make a joke of it, and I'm like, well, that's a ridiculous thought, Kim. Yes, yes. Yes. You know, when they're saying something out loud, or I'll say, so is that a true? Is that a fact? Like, would everybody agree with that? Would everyone agree with that? If you know, I went and asked your best friend, would they be like, yes, Kim is ridiculously lazy, probably not. Um but I think acknowledging it and normalizing it somewhat helps, and then realizing after a few sessions with us, like no one cares. And that helps them settle down that negative self-talk a little bit and reminding them we're practicing these things. You, this is not an Olympic sport, we're taking care of ourselves. Um, you're gonna fail at stuff in the gym. And if you're not failing at stuff in those walls, you're not trying hard enough. You're not trying hard enough, but also like it's a place of incredible growth for people when they have in a really safe environment to try something to fail, and then a lot of times to realize that they can do more than they thought they could. So it's kind of yeah, it's kind of cheap.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

They scare me too, though. I can do them, but they scare me.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Yeah, but remember how first time you can did it frighten you? Oh, yeah. I was like, I'm absolutely not doing this. Emily's like, You are, yeah. And I did.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

But I also tell them all the time, like, you gotta get out of your head and into your body a little bit. And one of the things I say is, can you just stop standing in your own way and just try it for a second? Yeah. And see, see what you can do versus see what you think you can do. Yes. But yeah, we shut it down, but also replace it, man. We need to replace it because once you get that neuroplasticity going in the right direction, where you have a new refrain when you're doing something challenging and your brain can grab onto it, and that's what it thinks every time you come up a bit with a challenge in the germ versus like I'm not strong enough. Or, you know, someone said to me the other day, they're like, I just feel so weak. And I was like, that's awesome. That means that you're getting stronger. Like if you're putting it your body in a situation where it feels weak, guess what, babe? Yeah, you're getting stronger. Yep. Um, so I think the challenging it a little bit, making it normal, but also replacing it for them with a new message. So, you know, they remember, like, oh, that's right. When I did that box jump and I said to myself, just try versus you can't do it, you're gonna fall, you're gonna look foolish. No, just try. And guess what? That's a whole lot of self-trust that comes to know that future you is gonna be able to handle it if you fall off that box. So that's a big thing too. When I when I set a heavier weight down in front of someone, I know that I'm asking them to trust future them to be able to handle that weight that I just put down in them. And that's a really sticky situation for some people to be in, to sit there and go, okay, I trust myself that I can try this and maybe I can do it. But if I can't, I can trust that I can handle that I can't do this. So it's always an interesting thing when we're talking about that self-talk and narrative that you have going on in the gym.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Failing forward almost. Like allow yourself to try it for the benefit of actually failing. Failing with a purpose is what we call it.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Absolutely. So we're gonna fail and we're gonna push, and I'm gonna make you totally uncomfortable, but know that it is with a purpose. Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Yeah, and she does it with a smile. I'm just gonna remind you anybody, anybody who goes to our gym is is if you're listening to this, you're laughing because you know what I'm talking about. Uh when she brings over the heavyweight or who wants to help you adjust, the adjustment is always harder. And you know you're in trouble when Emily says something is fun. We do have a fair amount of fun. We do have fun, but the things you consider fun, I don't think everybody else does.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

And I mean, part of the one of the aspects I love about my job so much is that we do not see ourselves clearly. And I get a front row seat to have people realize what they're capable of, and I get to see them, that version of them before they do. So when I set down a heavier weight, I'm looking at you going, I know you've got this. Yeah, I just need you to come along and realize you got this.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

So you wouldn't put it in front of somebody that couldn't do it that couldn't do it. Like, why would you do it?

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Yeah, and honestly, like when you see them step up to it, and I'm looking at it going, I see that version of you that's sitting right there waiting for you to come over and claim this weight and do it and feel like a badass, and they do that. That is not that's not just a gym win. That's like it cascades everywhere for them. That's a dopamine hit, yes, yeah, in the making. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

So I'll give you an example of fun. There's a song. And so you know if you see on the board that we're doing Sally, there's a song. I don't know how many minutes long it is. I think it's 12 hours. It's probably only up two minutes, but it's Sally Up, Sally Down, Sally Up, Sally Down. So picture you're doing something band around your knees, holding um not a plank, but you're holding a gloop bridge. Yeah, gloop bridge, and you're pulsing every time throughout the song. Anyway, that's what Emily considers fun.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Yeah, and it is, it's a good time.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

It's fine. I because you do it and you're proud of yourself.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Exactly. And there's a lot of situations that I put people in. Today we played a squat game and you grab the ball out of the center. Like adults need to also have fun. Yes. And if you can gamify and make exercise fun and engaging, and you feel ridiculous and you're laughing with your friends in the gym, like why would you not want to start your day like that? So we do gamify a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

And yeah, it you know, I like the do you ever do the plank game where you pass the ball to the next person? I love that one. Yeah, because you're paying more attention to get you know, getting the ball and not spinning it off so the other person can't get it, and you forget the fact that you're in a plank for a minute.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

You play like musical lunges, similar to musical chairs. I mean, yeah, there's endless things. But yeah, adults find to have fun and exercising too. They do.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Emily, thank you so much for being you and bringing fitness, nutrition, well-being, a place for women to train and be safe, and your personal self. And thank you also for caring for Vicky because that up until you we were kind of, I don't know how you had the attitude. You knew you had to do the resistance training, but yeah, I'm not gonna do it at home.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Like I knew I was just not gonna do it at home. Yeah. And I wasn't finding my place that found her place.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

You already, as women in particular, there's so much mental load to then think, okay, now I have to take on resistance training and do it well. And the mobility piece and stability piece that we do too. Yeah, that's a lot to ask of yourself. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

Well, thank you. They're so very welcome. Great. Thanks for spending time with Vicky and I today on Faded to Fabulous, where midlife is just the beginning of your boldest chapter yet. If you got something out of today's episode, we'd love it if you'd share it with a friend and leave a review. Hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. And if you're looking for more support, inspiration, or sisterhood, come join us at faded to fabulous.vis because you were never meant to do midlife alone. Until next time, stay fabulous.