Episode 24: Finding Yourself Again- One Adventure At A Time with Tracy Miller

Finding Yourself Again One Adventure at a Time with Tracy Miller

On this episode of Faded to Fabulous, Kim and Vicki interview holistic health and life coach Tracy Miller, founder of the Women’s Wellness Exchange and creator of Adventures Within. Tracy shares how she reinvented her work over 20 years and, during COVID after being laid off, began hosting nature-based retreats that emphasize safe, optional adventure for women—especially 50-plus—such as snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, and whitewater rafting, plus travel experiences like France. She discusses common barriers women face, including busyness, guilt about leaving family, and fear of trying new activities, and stresses giving oneself permission and removing pressure. The conversation explores midlife identity shifts, grief and letting go, vulnerability, and using discomfort as a signal for growth, with Miller advising women to “shake things up,” seek silence, and create space through solo time or travel. She directs listeners to adventureswithin.us and mentions future trips and ideas like mother-daughter retreats and destinations such as Patagonia and Peru.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:29 Tracy’s Coaching Journey
02:27 Adventures Within Origins
03:52 Retreats and Safe Adventure
05:21 Barriers and Permission
09:29 Midlife Identity Shifts
13:51 Letting Go and Grief
17:38 Shake Things Up Reset
21:04 Solo Travel and Ripple Effects
22:41 How to Join and Closing

To start your own adventure please visit: https://adventureswithin.us/

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Getting out of the mindset that things are not optional, right? That the garden isn't optional, that the care of the family isn't optional. When the natural fact, all of that stuff, like not to sound mean to the garden or the family, but all of that is optional. There's no kitchen fire determining that you have to garden or that you have to make, you know, whatever X amount of meals for your family. Like that's optional. But the care and keeping of us is not. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to Faded to Fabulous, the podcast for women who know that midlife is not the end. It's the beginning of something bold. Let's get into it. Hi, ladies. Good morning. We are so happy to be here today, and I'm gonna let Vicky introduce our amazing guest to this Faded to Fabulous podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Yay, Tracy Miller is an amazing woman who I've known for how many? It's it's been a while. Six, seven, eight. Yeah, we go way back. Um, Tracy is an amazing health and life coach and a million other things. That was in her spare time. And she created the Women's Wellness Exchange, and I think that's really where we connected. Yeah, and that was for female entrepreneurs in healthcare in New Hampshire, which was really a great um resource. And Tracy once again is reinventing herself. The title of today is Finding Yourself Again One Adventure at a Time, and I think you'll see why. Um, Tracy, do you want to introduce yourself and talk a little bit more about you? Sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

So um, yes, I am a holistic health coach the last 20 years, and I have reinvented myself a lot. Starting out, you know, as a health coach, having a young daughter, I taught cooking classes for moms who wanted to feed their kids healthy foods but didn't know how. Um, and I did I've done women's conferences, farm to table health programs, and I think my my work has evolved as I have evolved, and really just following my own passion and knowing that if it's something that I'm excited about or challenged with or um interested in, that other women would be too. One of the things that I really like to think of myself as even just now is just a facilitator bringing women together because we don't need people telling us what to do. We need places where women can express themselves and feel safe in the space.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Speaking my language.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

Purpose of this podcast. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

So talk about your new business venture called Adventures Within.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Where did that come from? Why to Target midlife women specifically? And was there a little aha moment you had that sparked this for you?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Well, it was, you know, this was after being in the wellness world for, I don't know, 12, 15 years. And so I'd again done a lot of different things. It was during COVID when I was, I'd been working for a nonprofit and was laid off. And, you know, we had a lot of time on our hands during COVID. And so I got to really percolate. And I'm like, okay, this is what I want to do. I want to host retreats for women in nature doing adventurous things. And it wasn't initially a 50 plus thing. That kind of came of, well, of course, why not? These are the women that I resonate with. And so I started this business, I think about six months into COVID and planned my first retreat and up in the White Mountains and um brought women together. And I just found my happy place. And someone asked me once, you know, what makes you why do you do retreats? What do you love about them? And I just feel so aligned and so in the moment because it's not about me, it's about the space that we create. And so I really started there and then started adding on other types of trips. I like to bring in the adventure part because I think women like to get outside of their comfort zone. So I've done retreats in uh white water rafting retreats out west in Oregon and Idaho. Um, the ones that we do in the White Mountains are snowshoeing and cross-country skiing. And they're all just fun. Most of the women have never done any of these things. So it's not for experts, it's for people who just want to try something different in an environment where they feel safe and they don't feel like they have to like prove themselves to be an expert at anything.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

So don't be worried about being silly.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Exactly. And I cannot tell you, I will never forget one time a woman came into our retreat. Uh, it was the first retreat, actually, and she had been going through a really challenging time. And I remember her just coming in and sitting down at the circle, and I just watched her body melt into that floor. It was just the space that she needed, and still to this day, she tells me that it was life-changing for her because she really you have to give yourself permission to step out of your day-to-day lives and your comfort zone. So it just creates that space for women that really uh gives them time to reflect.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

I love that. Thank you for allowing that beautiful woman to have that opportunity. Like, what what a gift.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Yeah. It happens to be my hairdresser, so I get to see her all the time. And she always reminds me, oh my God, that was so lovely.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

That's wonderful. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

What are some of the common fears or hesitations that you would see, you know, from women that are considering signing up for one of your adventures? Like, what is the barriers? What's getting in the way of every woman doing it?

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Well, you know, women, we are always so busy and we don't like to take time out for ourselves. And so really it's just giving yourself the time and the space and the permission to really take a weekend off or a week off, whatever it is. Um, and secondly, I think it it it is that like, what will they do without me? I need to be here for the kids, I need to be here for my husband. And we really need to challenge that because we need that space to take care of ourselves. And um, so a lot of women are so happy that they've done it. I have a a friend who I've known for years and has never come to any of my events or anything. And I used to we do like high school reunions with all the girls. Never did any of that, can't do it, don't have time. I'm doing a retreat in France in September, and she's like, Tracy, I'm coming to this damn thing. And she is so excited. You know, the kids are older now, but you really need to give yourself permission. And if you're using other people, your kids or your spouse or partner as an excuse, it's usually just you, I think. Um I think women are also a little bit afraid if there's a little bit of adventure adventure involved. And we always make things optional. Obviously, if you were on a white water rafting trip, you have to get on the boat. That's on that one. Believe me, I sign me up. It was my first one, and I'm afraid of water a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

So I would do it with a group of other women for sure. I would be nervous about going with you know a group of 27-year-old men because that would scare me. Yeah. But if there were other kind of scared women, I would already assume that yeah. It's gonna be more at my level, right? And maybe I'm gonna be in double life jackets.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

I don't know, but you know, no, it's we we were all in it together. Yes, that's for sure. Yes. Um, yeah, so I think women is just giving themselves permission and then knowing also that they can opt out of things. You know, when we do the snow show snowshoeing and cross-country skiing, it's very much like, listen, if you're not feeling up to it and you just need to go sit in your room for a couple hours, that's okay. Um, so really, I guess, just there's no pressure there, which is wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

No pressure, and just sometimes I think sometimes women and myself included sometimes, we get in this go, go, go mode, push, push, push, get the to-do list on. Like for me, like the weekends, um, it's like, oh, I gotta do the gardening, I gotta do the laundry. It's like you just don't feel that you have the time. And I think that is the biggest mindset change is saying it's gonna be okay, you have the time, you can step away for three days. And I think as we get older, as we were just talking about, we're wanting to get out more and more and more and giving ourselves permission.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Yeah. You know, it's something that came up for me when you were talking about that is getting out of the mindset that things are not optional, right? That the garden isn't optional, that the care of the family isn't optional. When an actual fact, all of that stuff, like not to sound mean to the garden or the family, but all of that is optional. There's no kitchen fire determining that you have to garden or that you have to make, you know, whatever X amount of meals for your family. Like that's optional. But the care and keeping of us is not. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Right?

SPEAKER_01 8:47

So And we always say you say to people too, you know, if because you think you ha you are the only one that can do X, Y, and Z. And I always say to people if you get hit by a bus tomorrow, somebody's gonna figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Yeah, it's our own internal BS factor. Yeah. Like we convince ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

And you know, from the work situation when people say, well, you know, everybody's replaceable. Like the tasks that we're doing, we are replaceable in many of those tasks, right? Maybe we have to lower our standards a little bit about what is an expectation, right? So if you let go of the garden to, I don't know, uh person that you pay, maybe they may not do it exactly the way you do, but that's okay. Yeah, yeah.

unknown 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

What are some of the things? So you I spend a lot of time with women in midlife. What are some of the things that you're seeing come up for them in this season that are challenges? Um you know, in particular regards to like identity and shifts.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

So big one and big one for me, um, hitting 60. Um Welcome. Yeah. Um I was kind of in denial and then it just kind of kicked me in the butt, and and then now I'm embracing it. Um you know, Richard Rohr, who's a Franciscan priest, um, said that in the first half of our life we build a container. The second half of our life we get to tear that down and see what's inside. And I think women need to embrace that. And again, we're we're really good at the building, we're really good at the proving, we're good at raising kids, and those are all awesome things. We need to build a container. We need to have structure and systems, we need to prove ourselves a little bit in our work environment, all those things. I think this second half of our life, this next chapter, is really tearing down those walls, making our own rules and finding what is yearning inside of us. And, you know, I've just spent the last two years reading every single book about aging that I could find and really trying to figure out what this means for me. And it took a little bit of intellect to kind of get down deeper because they're like, oh, you need to look at your shadow sign, you need to know what your soul is saying. I'm like, well, what the hell's your soul? What the hell's your shadow? And all these things. Sounds like a lot of work. And then I started really diving deep, seeing what other people were saying, reading about what the, you know, um experts or whatever, all these, you know, spiritual, soulful priests and and prophets and all these things have been saying, and really just like unraveling and really finding myself. And it requires a lot of letting go.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

It requires a lot of melancholy because the last several years, my 50s, I lost a lot of people. I had a lot of grief. So you kind of hold on to that past because, you know, you're really loyal to your past. It's it's it's who you've been and and who you are now. But what I'm finding is the more you can let go and reinvent yourself, it's almost a place of being vulnerable. I've had to really sit with like, what does this mean? And um they talk about this kind of liminal phase where you're kind of looking at the past, but you don't know what the future is, and you're open to to being seeing something different in the present. And for me, that's been a lot of vulnerability and um sitting with the unknown and sitting with um, you know, the feeling of maybe losing part of my past and letting go of it. And I think there's a lot of work that we have to do. I mean, I've written hundreds and hundreds of pages just for myself, you know, unwinding, unraveling. And I think a lot of it is just asking yourself questions as things come up within you. Stop looking for answers from everybody else and start asking yourself questions. Is this true? Is this really what I want? Is this am I expressing myself? And it requires a lot of thought and a lot of um just deep work. So I that's what I really challenge women to do. And I I think that's one of the reasons I with these retreats, I started focusing on the 50 plus, because we are reinventing ourselves. So we do ask a lot of more thought-provoking questions again about like, what is this gonna look like? And when you're lying on your deathbed, it's like you want to look back and say, I really I I did it all. Like I didn't play small. And then that means that you take risks, that means that you uh make yourself vulnerable, you get out of your comfort zone, and even if it wasn't perfect, at least you gave yourself that chance. At least you said, I'm gonna just like squeeze the fragrance juice out of the lemon and and no regrets. And you won't look back and say, I was so good at saving money.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

My closet was really tidy. Yes, like you know what I mean. I made a lot, you know, one of the things that you were just speaking about um really, really resonates with me. The the letting go of the old. And I am deep in that work right now. And so interestingly, even in the last week, somebody came up to me with an opportunity to do the next big thing. And in the years past, that was what I did. I did the next big thing, and I helped to create it and I did the things. And there was I went, that's not it doesn't fit me. Yeah. And it it put me in a place where I started looking back a little bit on some of the other people I've been through the years and things that I've done. And I think it um I had I had to realize what was I was experiencing was grief. A little bit of grief about the person who got wicked excited to go into schools and talk to kids. I'm not her anymore at all. Yes. Do you know what I mean? I know exactly. And uh, and it really hit me exactly what you said. I am really just processing, doing a little bit of grief, but I have to do that to make room for what this next part looks like. Um, and it's gonna be a lot more of me on a plane, I will tell you. Yes or in a boat, maybe, maybe not whitewater wrapping, but it will definitely look like a lot of other baby girl. Yeah. But but it is an interesting season. And do you see that type of um grief? I mean, it's part of it.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Uh well, it's it is letting go is is grief. And I think, you know, like any kind of grief, whether it's for a person or letting go, sometimes all you have is to hold on to the grief, right? And so, you know, sitting with that and giving it the space that it deserves. Like grief is important. We need to to nourish and nurture ourselves around that. I don't think in this world we give enough space for that. So whether it's the loss of a person, which is huge, to the loss of part of your identity, one thing I think is really interesting. I have a 20-year-old daughter who is finding herself, right? And they this individuation, as they call it, and and they say that's supposed to happen at like in the second half of life too. We're supposed to rediscover a whole nother person. So it's almost like we're teenagers finding ourselves again. So I kind of kind of compare myself to my daughter, like at the first apartment and all these things. I'm like, okay, so this is the new me, and who's that gonna be? Makes it kind of fun to think about.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

You mentioned something a minute ago about you know, sitting in some of the discomfort. And I'm a firm believer in sometimes we have to sit in the discomfort in order to understand the messaging. If we're so quick to get out of the discomfort, because obviously that's you know what our brain would intend us to do is to get out. But sometimes those messages, you know, to your point, right? Like when we're offered something that might be a reach or a stretch, and you know, why am I uncomfortable? Why is that coming up for me? If it were something like an adventure, like a whitewater rafting trip, why is that feeling uncomfortable for me? Well, because I'm a little afraid, right? And so exploring that. What am I afraid of? Am I afraid of drowning? Am I afraid of the water? Like what is it I'm afraid of? And right, yep. And and likewise the you know, sort of the letting things percolate to is this something that I just clearly don't want to do, right? And I'm uncomfortable because my past self would have said yes. Yeah, but if I don't listen to my discomfort, then I don't learn anything about me. So I, you know, there's such a connection between this stage of my life.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Yes, it's the only way you can expand is if you go through that discomfort. If not, you stay in your comfort zone and you play small.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Right? Tracy, what would you say to somebody who is so a woman who's like, I'm not ready for an adventure, that it's not gonna work for me in this season, but I'm stuck, I'm in a ri what advice would you give to for a woman to kind of get to that place?

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Yeah. Well, it kind of comes back to what Kim was saying too. It's like, what do you need right now? What do you need right now and what's making you uncomfortable in your life? And for me, you know, when I'm feeling stuck, I actually I I call what I did last um end of last summer, a shake shut up tour.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Please, I uh I had closed one of my businesses, which um was a really tough decision, but it was the right one. Um, and I went off social media and I said, I need a break. I was burnt out. This was my I've got 60 and I'm fine. And then, you know, come crashing down. Okay, I need to learn something here. So I within about two weeks booked a trip to um France and Spain. Um, one part of it was to do some research for a trip in the Alps that I'm hosting. And I booked an Airbnb on the beach in Spain. I rented a car, I hiked in.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

I loved those pictures, by the way. They were so good. I can so good. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

My I have never felt more grounded. My nervous system was completely relaxed. I had no to-do list, no one around me telling me that I was a shitty driver, my daughter, um, or my husband, or whatever. And so I think you just need to shake shit up. Yeah. Go on a hike by yourself, go on a day trip by yourself, sit on the beach by your get out of your your comfort zone. When we're at home, it's great to meditate and do all these things, but you know, you still see the dust on the on the table, the dog hair. Get out of your space and make space for yourself. I love it. And honestly, you know, just you know, I have this friend, she always calls it like let the mud settle. And she she is like, no tech, no nothing. She'll she drove up to one of our retreats for two and a half hours, no radio, no nothing. She just drove in silence for hours. Like, and I'm like, how did you do that? But give yourself silence, let the mud settle. Just we're always reacting to things, whether it's the emotional song on the radio or the news or the bed driver or whatever. Give yourself time to just be, just relax, just turn everything off. And you know, there's I was listening, they have these new things, these dark retreats which scare the hell out of me. Yes, could not do it. But they're like even just closing your eyes in a meditation for a long period of time helps you let that um your nervous system kind of relax. So I just say get out of your comfort zone, do something crazy, and just like reset.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

So I'm driving, I took Friday off, I blocked my schedule. I don't do that. I'm not doing anything with anybody. I'm going to go to the beach by myself.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

It's one of my favorite things to do.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

I think I'm gonna try. Maybe I'll try it. Well, I don't know if I could do the no 80s tunes on the way to the beach, but maybe I'll try the drive and see.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

And that and music's a good reset too. It is so it's all good. And I, you know, uh that's one thing that I am noticing in this whole like aging sphere is and and travel sphere, is the solo travel is more, you know, more time alone doesn't mean you're lonely. It means that you're okay with being by yourself. Yeah. And I'm really, I mean, a part of me and this aging process is like get connected. That's so important as we age. But it's also me embracing time alone, whether it's solo travel or going to the beach by myself. I really want to do a hike by myself this summer. You know, I did my first hike in France all by myself, six hours in the middle of like a country that, you know, I didn't even know very well. And I cannot tell you how satisfying and calming it was. I love that. Yeah, to really rely, to feel that you can rely on yourself.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Do you know it's really neat too? I was just thinking about this. So I've had the opportunity to take a leap and travel with women. I went to Greece with 24 women I'd never met before, and it was the best thing. It wasn't just the actual joy of the trip, the ripple effect after those experiences is like nothing that I would ever predicted. Like, and you don't even know what your presence at an adventure such as that could create for another traveler. Yeah, like the impact. It's phenomenal. So yeah, so it's the gift of being with women, doing exciting things, doing an adventure, and I'm all about like a little challenge, you know. So if it's a little scary, it's great. Yeah, um, but that ripple of when you come back to your regular life, you will not be the same. Yeah, you won't.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Tracy, if somebody is looking to join you in an adventure or like me more, yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

I I I'm like, is there any room left in the trip to France? I think I'd like to go.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Um where how do they reach out to you? How do they find you?

SPEAKER_00 22:56

So um you can go to my website, ad US Us. Um uh the France trip is full in September, but I've got another one in June next year. Okay. So very excited about that. Okay. And um planning more, planting seeds for more. Looking to do some mother-daughter retreats and looking at Patagonia and Peru and some fun places like that. So it's it's stretching me, and um, we'll see what comes over the next couple years.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

So just repeat one more time your website. US. Perfect, because I really want people to be able to find you, at least to see your website and see what you're doing because you put good content out there. Yeah. Which is great.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

And uh hopefully starting a sub stack soon. That's on my list. So I'll be on there. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Thank you, Tracy.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Thank you both for all the conversations that you have, your honesty and authenticity, and this is exactly I think what women need right now. So thank you for everything that you guys do to bring us together. Thank you for adding to our platform.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Thank you for joining us, ladies. Bye, Tracy. Bye. Thanks for spending time with Vicky and I today on Faded to Fabulous, where midlife is just the beginning of your boldest chapter yet. If you got something out of today's episode, we'd love it if you'd share it with a friend and leave a review. Hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. And if you're looking for more support, inspiration, or sisterhood, come join us at faded to fabulous. Because you were never meant to do midlife alone. Until next time, stay fabulous.