Hey Girl U Up?

101 | FIRST DATES! | GUEST: DAHNIEL KNIGHT | DATING PODCAST

• Anna Moulaison • Season 1 • Episode 1

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First Dates: The Wild, The Unhinged & the Rules We Break 💥 | Ep. 102 ft. Dahniel Knight | Hey Girl… U Up?

Welcome to the first official format episode of Hey Girl… U Up? — the unapologetic, hilarious, and brutally honest dating show for grown-ass adults navigating love, lust, and whatever this dating landscape is.

🎙 Guest: Musician and man-extraordinaire Dahniel Knight (@knightmyxx)
🔥 Topic: First dates — the wild, the unhinged, and the totally unexpected.

In this episode: 💋 First-date sex: Yes, no, maybe…?
 ⏰ How long do you really stay after a one-night stand?
🎯 Flagged or Bagged: Red flag 🚩 or green light 💚?
🎰 Regret Roulette: Spin the wheel… spill the tea ☕
📱 Biohazard: The best dating bios of the week 😬
🧠 Terms of Endearment: Decoding modern dating lingo (because WTF is a “soft launch?”)

Whether you're single, divorced, re-entering the chat, or just curious what the hell is going on out there — this episode is for YOU.
This is dating after 40… and we’re not holding back.

New episodes weekly! Subscribe and follow — we’re just getting started.
👇👇🏽👇🏿

📺 WATCH on YouTube or Spotify:
https://www.youtube.com/@HeyGirlUup

https://open.spotify.com/show/2N7Di1jXkeE8Gyu74HQXOX?si=HRaeEXkZTmOeypcb0yOdFg


🔗 Follow the Madness:

📺 Youtube Video Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@HeyGirlUup
📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heygirluup
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🌐 Website: https://www.heygirluup.com/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573461766502


Anna:

Hey Girl, U Up? Hey Girl. Are you up? Well, I'm up. My name is Anna. I'm 40 plus and fabulous. Perpetually out there dating like it's the bloody Olympics, and there is nothing more terrifying, funny, exhilarating, and hope giving than a first date. So today's episode, we're calling first dates. We're focusing on them, however harrowing they can be. And I'm taking another fellow dater down with me. Hey, Danielle here? Mm-hmm. Musician, accomplished, handsome, tall man from the Midwest. No one here is a dating expert. No one is a relationship expert. We don't know what the fuck we're doing. No idea. We have no idea.

Dahniel:

All right.

Anna:

But welcome, Dahniel

Dahniel:

thank you for having me. I

Anna:

happy you're here. Oh, thank you. I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep you. That's cool. That's cool. So, okay. First off the question we ask everybody why. Are you single?

Dahniel:

Hmm. There's probably a lot of reasons that I'm single for. Go for it. Uh, um, I, I think honestly, a lot of it has to do, I'm, I'm very easygoing. Yeah. Shit doesn't bother me. And so like, kind like what you, what you get is what you get uhhuh, you know what I mean? And it's like, like a lot of people I meet, I, I meet after being on stage. And they expect like some crazy person whatever. And I like to watch TV and cook.

Anna:

Oh, you know? Okay. I think

Dahniel:

I might be bored.

Anna:

Well, that's interesting. Okay. Listen, no one has ever said I'm single because I'm easygoing. But you think in your line of work, you're literally born and raised in music because I think all. Women, if you are a five, if you're on a stage, you go to like a solid seven. There's two extra points for being on the stage.

Dahniel:

Yeah. But you have to talk to us afterwards. And we're, we're not socially correct and there's a lot of stuff wrong with musicians.

Anna:

There's a lot of stuff. Okay. Oh

Dahniel:

yeah, yeah. We don't know how to talk to people unless it's about music.

Anna:

Yeah. So easy going with poor communication skills offset. Or you just chill and you think they think there's like some rock or you just gonna come off and, oh.

Dahniel:

Well, I'm gonna tell you the secret about musicians. Uhhuh go. Most musicians are extremely shy. Most are extremely insecure. Right? Interesting. And our only safe place is on stage. So once we're off of that, we're a mess. Yeah. So

Anna:

you're an introvert.

Dahniel:

I'm, I'd say I'm loud introvert. Is that, is that a thing? Yeah.'cause

Anna:

I wanna say you don't come across as like.

Dahniel:

Yeah, I am Now, for me being introvert, my thing is I, I'm goofy as shit. Right?

Anna:

Okay. And

Dahniel:

that kind of gets me past the shy bull crap, you know? Okay. Yeah. So I mean, like, I mean, I can meet people, that's not a problem. Like, Hey, how you doing? Whatever. You know, me acting goofy is my comfort zone. That's kind of. In a way, I, how

Anna:

is that not made work? Okay. Are you married? I'm sorry? Have you ever been married?

Dahniel:

No, I've been engaged twice though.

Anna:

Engaged Twice. How long did that engagement last, or those relationships last? Uh,

Dahniel:

the first one was like a year.

Anna:

Okay. All in with the engagement?

Dahniel:

Yeah.

Anna:

Okay. Go ahead. Next one.

Dahniel:

And then the second one was, uh, about two years.

Anna:

What's your longest relationship?

Dahniel:

My longest relationship was the first one I ever had.

Anna:

Okay. Eighth

Dahniel:

grade until my, almost my second year in college. First Girlfriend. That's legit.

Anna:

Yeah. And what happened?

Dahniel:

Uh, I went off to college

Anna:

and then we met

Dahniel:

a lot of other people. New ladies. Yeah. And I played college football and I played, I was a musician too.

Anna:

I mean, do you understand musician college football? We get it. This is why Danielle is single. So I became single in July. Are

Dahniel:

you on the dating apps?

Anna:

Oh, I'm on all the apps.

Dahniel:

I've never been on the single. You are no apps. Hell no.

Anna:

You've never been on them.

Dahniel:

Never. Yeah, they could be eating babies and possums,

Anna:

dude. They could be dude, they could be. They lie about fucking weird people out there are 40 plus. They lie about their age. They lie about how much money they make, they lie about their job. And I think it goes for men and women, but mostly men. So it's definitely a thing. The way I approach it personally, it's a little different. Like on, I'm on Tinder and I just put a bot me, I just put here just for enemies. Stupid. And if you get that, you're, and if you swipe on me, I know already at least there's a basic level of laughter, right? Yeah.

Dahniel:

There's a humor. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Anna:

On Bumble, I've just put, uh, uh, please be yourself.'cause everyone else is taken. And then I put also, this is ridiculous. Yeah. Um, Raya, a lot of people put like, you know, director, CO, uh, innovator, uh. I put, uh, I put cashier in and out. We just, we just again,

Dahniel:

see that, see how would, see, I would, we would've swiped them. Like, it's

Anna:

funny, but buyers are different and they attract different people.

Dahniel:

Snappy dancer. Snappy. Snappy. Michael, you could

Anna:

be like a snappy dancer. So you just meet women in the wild? Yeah. How do you pick them up? They pick you up.

Dahniel:

I don't, I don't, no, I don't. Last person I asked out was. I have to think about that. It's been a while. I don't, I don't, eh, because you know, every relationship is a little different, right?

Anna:

A hundred percent.

Dahniel:

And so you can't take. The baggage from the previous relationship into the next one. But you can take what you learned from the previous one into the next one.

Anna:

Well, listen, that's the Instagram quote. We all want to happen, right? Like what do I not want to take into really my next relationship from the previous, right, right. But I also try to be nice to myself. And be like, Hey Anna, if you hit 75% of that goal, good for you. Longest relationship, which ended a long time ago. Yeah. And since then, are you like a one, a six? Like what are the relationships since then?

Dahniel:

Usually about two years.

Anna:

Okay.

Dahniel:

Yeah. She's like a two year shelf, shelf life. And then like, you know, they get real comfortable and like, Hey, can you, oh,

Anna:

so you think it's the mystery killer that killed it the most kind of. In a way. Okay. One are the things that happen in those relationships. Oh. You know, like I

Dahniel:

look, okay, so

Anna:

gimme some example.

Dahniel:

Alright. Uh, okay. There's this, I'm not gonna say no, there's, uh, an actress, comedian I'm supposed to go on a date with, right? Sure. And I was actually excited about going on a date, and then I got to thinking, I'm like, you know what? I'm not gonna go on a date with her because she's the kind of person that like, I could see her like farting in bed and then putting the blanket over your head. Oh. You know what I mean? And I, I, I, I think I have, I don't know.

Anna:

She didn't, she didn't do that. I never went on a date with her.

Dahniel:

She did. I she's You think

Anna:

she would? Yeah.

Dahniel:

And I'm like,

Anna:

so you dumped someone? We didn't,

Dahniel:

we didn't go out. I figured out you

Anna:

did not agree to go on a date with someone because you think she might kill a mystery.

Dahniel:

Yeah. Hundred percent. And that would

Anna:

ruin your image of her being a hot. Actress. So you'd rather keep the fantasy?

Dahniel:

No, it's, no, it's not the hot actress thing. It's just I put women like on a super high pedestal. Oh, well you gotta lower a little bit, babe. Yeah. Well, I know they're humans. I know. I get it. This is horrible. But my ex-fiancee, right. Went to the bathroom once. And she didn't flush the toilet

Anna:

uhhuh,

Dahniel:

and it was horrible. It was a, it was a mess.

Anna:

Okay. And I

Dahniel:

told her, I go, you know, this is the beginning of the year.

Anna:

You know what I mean? Okay. I think I cracked the case. Maybe you were more in love with the mystery and the woman thing. Or the romantic version, then a real, when it get real. No, I, I just don't want 'em

Dahniel:

to be, do stuff I might, do, you know what I mean? I'm a great first date, by the way. I,

Anna:

we are gonna get into first date, the second one, Mike, because this is kind of like a, this is kind of like a first date. I've had some. Interesting ones. Pick a story. You go first.

Dahniel:

All right. So, okay, this is back in, uh, when I was back in Minnesota, right? So me and a buddy of mine went to a Rochester, Minnesota go party, right? Mm-hmm. And I met this Girl and she was beautiful. Just beautiful, stunning. And, uh, this is like pre emails, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. That tells you how old I am.

Anna:

Yeah.

Dahniel:

And so I went back to, uh, I was gonna school at Mankato. I was playing football at Mankato State, and so we're writing letters to each other, right? And so I ended up moving to Minneapolis and we're still writing letters. And she writes me this letter. She's like, Hey, I just moved to Minneapolis. Let's, let's go out. I'm like, yeah, all right. Cool. Blah, blah, blah. And so we both knew in Minneapolis, and she's like, I'll pick you up because I think I know the city more than you. I'm like, all right, cool. So she picks me up and, and we go out, we have some dinner, we have a couple drinks, and we decide to go to another bar across town. Right? So we get on the freeway and we get pulled over by the state trooper. Right? Oh. So I'm like, no big deal. We've only had like one or two drinks. She'll be fine, whatever. Keep in mind she's driving. Um, so he takes her driver's license, he goes back to his cop car, he comes back and he asks her to step outta the car, right? I'm like,

Anna:

shit, well, field sobriety test or something.

Dahniel:

That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Didn't even get that far. He throws her in the cop car, right? And then comes back. He goes, Hey, how well do you know the woman driving? I'm like, this is our first date. He goes, what's her name? So I told him what her first name, and he goes, well, that's not what it says in her driver's license. Oh, she had a fake driver's license. Oh, the plates on her car were stolen from her sister. Oh, she had a warrant for her arrest. Oh yeah. Get out. Yeah. So she got arrested on our first date. I got left on the side of the highway. Right. They towed the car, the whole thing. So I had to call my buddy Hank to come pick me up. I'm like, dude, you gotta come pick me up. So what did I do? Yeah. Takes me to the ATM. I got cash out and bailed her outta jail. Yeah.

Anna:

My God. You must have had such a good time until that moment for you to do that. I was having a, I was having a blast. Yeah. Like a blast.

Dahniel:

Yeah. Yeah.

Anna:

So wait, so you go, Hey, I gotta, you gotta take me to an et tm. I need to bail her out.'cause I don't think she has money. Yeah.

Dahniel:

So bail her in jail. Take

Anna:

me to jail. Yeah. I mean, come on.

Dahniel:

Bail her outta jail.

Anna:

Bailed out of jail. So, uh, did you have the best sex ever with her after that she had to pay you back in, in love affection 22 positions. Like something Well, that

Dahniel:

Well it got, well we dated for like a year.

Anna:

Oh yeah. She paid. Yeah.

Dahniel:

And then, uh. I found out that she had a boyfriend while we were dating.

Anna:

It is a little shady start, but, but you

Dahniel:

know what? I've taken a chance, you know, but you, Hey,

Anna:

you taking a chance? Mm-hmm. I like, I like that. I like that. Like all these, you know, some people we talk about red flags, you know, but we're talking like, you're talking about like a, like a, I don't know, national mall size red flag a lot. And you still went for it? Yeah, I still went, but that's kind of, you know what, it's very gentleman like Uhhuh. Okay. Another first date story. Um, oh, I ended up at, at someone's 50th birthday party for one. On my first date.

Dahniel:

Wait, what?

Anna:

It's crazy, right? Okay, so I'm on the apps,

Dahniel:

okay?

Anna:

So this guy swipes on me. He goes, hi Anna, nice to match with you. I'm at the W Hotel in West Hollywood if you're around today. And it was like three o'clock. And I'm like, yeah, I'm around today, right? And I said, gimme two hours. So I show up to actually only have a drink, but we get along. So we have this one drink, then two drinks, then three drinks. And then he, and I said, you know, this was nice. I, I was gonna go out with my friends. I actually really enjoyed meeting you. And he goes, what is a bummer? And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, well, it's actually my 50th birthday today. Oh my God. I said, I can't leave you on your 50th birthday. So I go out and I call my friends. I say, Hey, dinner's canceled. I'm gonna celebrate the 50th birthday with a stranger. So he goes, I said, what's your favorite restaurant? He goes, I like sushi. I said, let's go. So we enter the sushi restaurant and I go and I'm like, Hey, it's his 50th birthday, and they're all like, yay. And he excited. He goes, you know what? This is the best birthday ever. Really? Yeah. So I went, anyway. Then I went back and I spent the night in a hotel and I knew Danielle that it wasn't a relationship I wanted, but I enjoyed that night. Oh yeah, I did my stride of pride through the lobby.

I stood on Sunset Boulevard at 6:

00 AM calling an Uber, and I was like. I think nothing has changed in 20 years. I was at this crosswalk, I think 20 years ago, and potentially in the same dress.

Dahniel:

Fuck it.

Anna:

And I went home and, you know, and that's the best part about being single, that I think people are missing. Mm-hmm.'cause yes, I wanna find someone, and don't get me wrong, like this is I, I'm dating with, I'm personally dating with intention, but on that journey. It can be a lot of fun. Yeah. You know what I mean? It

Dahniel:

would be, and I, I like going on dates, to be honest with you. Me

Anna:

too.

Dahniel:

Um, you might need some more booze for this one.

Anna:

Okay.

Dahniel:

All right. So, uh, I was living in China. I was there for like a year. Right. Uhhuh came back to Minneapolis Uhhuh. All right. So every year Rick's, they have this party and they invite everybody and it's like a thousand people. They have live music and they have food and all that stuff. And it took me like 15 minutes to get my drink. So I get my drink, I turn around and I see this Girl walking through and I drop my drink. I. She was that stunning.

Anna:

Wow.

Dahniel:

Like my whole body just gave up. She gave me her number, Uhhuh, and I called her two days later. So she's like, Hey, let's have dinner. She's like, I don't know who you are. I'm like, I get that. She goes, is it okay if I bring my friend? Do you have a friend? You know, I, her friend went home and we decided to go to the lounge for last call. Right. So we walk in and this is the bar I used to hang out at all the time. And we walk in and the first person I see is Prince. I. Right.

Anna:

As you do. Yeah.

Dahniel:

And so Prince and I used to hang out.

Anna:

That's a great way to start a sentence. When Prince and I, uh, hung out, go ahead. We used to hang out. It's fucking amazing, which

Dahniel:

is a weird story in itself. I'm like, Hey, what's up Pete? And he looks at me and he looks at her, he looks at me, he looks at her, looks at me, looks at her, and then walks away. And I go, that was weird. Doesn't say a word. Doesn't say a word. I go, that was weird. She goes, yeah, we used to date. Oh. I'm like, what? You dated Prince? She goes, yeah, broke up great diamonds

Anna:

and pearls. Yeah.

Dahniel:

First off, I was surprised. I'm like, you used to date Prince? She goes, yeah. And then when she said she dumped them, I'm like, oh shit. Okay. We have her last call at the bar.

Anna:

Yeah.

Dahniel:

And we decided to go to Lake Calhoun, which is one of the thousands of lakes in Minneapolis. It's beautiful. Uhhuh. And she stole a boat. What this should be a red flag.

Anna:

It should be just goes down in the harbor and she's like that boat.

Dahniel:

Yeah. And we got on the boat, we stole a boat. Who was

Anna:

with you? Like going along with this? You're just like, yeah, it's okay. It's cute. No, but you know what? You know it was cute.

Dahniel:

So she steals a boat. We steal the boat, we go out to the middle of lake, we make out for a while, and then we start dating. Okay. And we dated for God, I think we were together for like three and a half, almost four years.

Anna:

Hey, I love that you go, day one was an issue. Yeah. Did you just try to make it work or she was just so fucking good looking that you were like again? Well, I mean, when,

Dahniel:

when things are good, it was great, but it was, yeah. But when it was dysfunctional,

Anna:

when I go on a first date, uh, I was go, I was intention of this could be my next long term relationship. As in like, it could be, it could be, I don't know this person, but once I land mm-hmm. There's three folders. There's the hard, no not gonna see him again. Then there is, oh, I wanna see him again. There is long-term relationship possibility. Right. Or three. I'm gonna, I've just got a new lover. You can only hit those three. Yeah. That's how it goes. You know, so if it's, if I knew it's a lover, uh, I have no issue with a one eye stand. But if I like you, I drag it out. I can't explain it, but I find that men get a little. Uh, ah, let me show you all my, it's it, I call it, lemme show

Dahniel:

all the moves

Anna:

I show, call it the peacock factor, where they're like, look at me right now. Sometimes, sometimes it's got to do with property or houses, whatever they got. Yeah. But some men, uh, sexually are like, I I'm gonna show you all my moves.

Dahniel:

And this is a conversation I've had with a couple of my buddies and of course my brother.

Anna:

Yep.

Dahniel:

Um, again, 'cause like my brother, people fall over and his whole thing is he's like, you know what, man? I'm really arrogant. I'm like, what? He goes, I can't give him like the C game. I gotta give him the a plus game. Because like everybody knows somebody, right? So say, say you pick up, uh, Susie, right? Yeah. And he gives Susie C game or just whatever, blah, blah, blah, uhhuh. She's gotta tell her friends. But me being cocky and arrogant, I gotta give the A game and that can get you in trouble. So you still have to give the A game. But you wanna give the C game because you don't want to necessarily stick her. You're not into her.

Anna:

Right? Here's what I don't understand. If I like someone, I don't necessarily want to be bent into a pretzel the first time, right? Because I just wanna connect. And then I know if the sex hits, like let's say a hundred is pretzel sex, like everybody's crazy. There's gossip where there are legs where you didn't even know you could bend that way, right? But if the sixth, the first time is more tender. Sweet. I know there's potential now, and now I feel like the rest of it is gonna be this magic onion unpeeling. First time is so fucking special. If you like someone, there's nothing better than the first time with someone you care about. It's just like yummy. It's intense. It's building up. Right. What about you? Like what do, what do you do? You can eat

Dahniel:

pretzels every day. I'm just saying,

Anna:

do you always do pretzels, eggs from the top? Yeah. I dunno

Dahniel:

why I

Anna:

call

Dahniel:

it

Anna:

principal sex.

Dahniel:

Don't necessarily principal.

Anna:

I mean, you know,

Dahniel:

I'm a Virgo.

Anna:

What does that mean? I. Uh, are you into star science?'cause I don't know

Dahniel:

what that means. Uh, I'm into, I know about Virgos. Oh.

Anna:

What's the deal with Virgos? Because

Dahniel:

initially, so apparently Virgos are supposed to be like very in tune to who they're with, right?

Anna:

Oh,

Dahniel:

right. And I'm, I've always been like that

Anna:

Uhhuh.

Dahniel:

Um, and I we're also kind of overachievers. We like to do a good job.

Anna:

Oh,

Dahniel:

you know.

Anna:

I've learned that if I talk about sex from the first or second date, then, then I put a mind, a man's mind there. Mm-hmm. And then they get really sexy with me quickly. Does that make sense? Right, right, right. I basically learned that by talking about sex in what I think is in a mature, connected, normal way. Mm-hmm. On first, second, third date. Uh, then they might think that I'm either like, and this is typical for women, women get this stigma that, that I'm like, I don't know, uh, loose. Like, no, I'm actually just comfortable talking about sex. Right, right. Because I'm 48. Like,

Dahniel:

well, we're humans. We should be comfortable. I mean, look, that's how we got here.

Anna:

Yeah, it's true.

Dahniel:

You know what I mean? And we do things that we like.

Anna:

Yeah.

Dahniel:

And we, like, we do things that feel good, whether it be cooking, eating, whatever it may be. Yeah. You know, so I, I, I think it's, it's weird when people get a little butt hurt and weird about, so I

Anna:

just think we should be open about it. Like, we're like, whatever, HBR, we don't have any sunsets are left sunrises. I just think we should make the best out of it. Yeah. There's a certain stigma and judgment if you go out a lot as, um, when you're 40 plus or mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying?

Dahniel:

Mm-hmm. I mean, being a a musician, I got a shit load of stigmas as it is. Right. And I'm not even doing shit.

Anna:

Are you the famous Bachelor in your neighborhood, do you think? Oh, no. Here comes Dahniel uh,

Dahniel:

you know, I don't, I don't think I get looked at as the Bachelor. I'm always, I show up by myself. I leave by myself, but I also get that stigma, like he's meeting up with blah, blah, blah.

Anna:

Right.

Dahniel:

All the time.

Anna:

So they're like, you think there's a little bit of a shady player? Yeah.

Dahniel:

Yeah.

Anna:

You got stuff going on. Yeah. Okay. So if it's a one night stand mm-hmm. What's an acceptable time to stay at your place after when you wake up?

Dahniel:

There isn't a set time limit, however. Two days is too long. Oh.

Anna:

Someone stayed for two days on a one night stand. She just moved in. Like, how did

Dahniel:

she have clothes? She wouldn't leave. Oh. Which, and you know, and that sounds like, okay, so one night stand, whatever. I'm like, Hey listen, I gotta go to work. Uh, just pull the door closed behind you. Okay. I came back from work still there. Right. I'm like, Hey, I gotta go to rehearsal. Okay, cool. The second day, I'm like, look, you got to go.

Anna:

If I generally wake up in the morning and they say, would you like a coffee? Then I feel like it's polite to stay and I have a quick coffee. Right, right. Like they wanna make a coffee. We both know. And I'll have a quick sip and I'll be thinking so much.

Dahniel:

Well, I don't do one nice thing to my house.

Anna:

You don't? Oh, you don't do When I step in the house?

Dahniel:

No, not after the two day thing. There's only five people in town that even know where I live at.

Anna:

Oh

Dahniel:

yeah. So if, if it's gonna happen, I'm, it's not gonna be at my house.

Anna:

Okay. Love and dating mm-hmm. Is not in short of regrets. So I don't know if you're a gambler, but I'm gonna play regret roulette. Alright. Now you'll spin it lands on something and you spell, but these are categories. Worst text, worst sex, cheating. Cringe age gap. And you have to share a story. Oh God. I already know what this basically, I already know what this is gonna and, and go pretty hard.'cause this is from Amazon and cheap. Oh, cheating.

Dahniel:

Oh, oh, oh. Oh. That's a bummer.

Anna:

Okay. Yeah. Not, have you ever cheated? I did. Yeah. What happened? I was

Dahniel:

young.

Anna:

You were young? Mm-hmm. How young?

Dahniel:

Late twenties.

Anna:

Late twenties. Yeah. And do you regret it?

Dahniel:

Yeah, a hundred percent.

Anna:

A hundred percent. What, what was the, what were the circumstances? Um,

Dahniel:

I was actually at the tail end of a relationship with my second fiance.

Anna:

Got it. And

Dahniel:

we were not getting along at all. It just, it was, it was done.

Anna:

Yeah.

Dahniel:

But we weren't finished. Right.

Anna:

Yeah.

Dahniel:

And, uh. I was out at this bar called Lyles, and I was out with like four buddies of mine who are all single dudes, whatever. Mm-hmm. And this group of Girls walked in and I saw her and I was just like, who's that? Who's that Girl with their eyes? She beautiful eyes, right? Yeah. And I ended up, uh, hanging out with her and we ended up dating for like five years. So you met that

Anna:

night and then you basically became a couple?

Dahniel:

Yeah.

Anna:

How long was the cheating for before you, before, uh, and how did she find out? Just

Dahniel:

a couple months.

Anna:

Couple of months. Yeah. And then did you tell your, uh, fiance? Yeah. Did you ever say I met someone else, or did you just break up? I

Dahniel:

broke up.

Anna:

You just broke up? Yeah. Because you didn't wanna tell her. And then how long did it last with your a affair partner? I guess like

Dahniel:

five years. And we bought a house together. And to this day, she's my best friend.

Anna:

My cheating regret is on the, on the receiving end. So my last relationship ended with cheating.

Dahniel:

That happened to me too,

Anna:

and it's, it was brutal. Yeah. I found out on an iPad when he went to work. Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. Okay. There was something about that day where now six years in, I felt I got a feeling and then I went up to it and it was locked, but it had a message in Russian. I, I screen grab it. I put in chat. DPT. And the message says, how's your day Sunshine? And I fucking knew the dumbass iPad code was 1, 1, 1, 1. No joke. It's like something outta space balls. Anyway, so I found out it was, it was six months. It turns out later, it was 10 months, so I ended it that day and never saw him again. But my, my cheating regret is I fucking felt it three, four months prior.

Dahniel:

Mm-hmm. I

Anna:

felt it. Something was off and I, it

Dahniel:

sucks ass. It's horrible.

Anna:

I fucking felt that he's sneaking around. But you know what? I was like, I love him. So that is my regret. Yeah. Like when you instantly tells you they're seeing someone else. They are, they are.

Dahniel:

Hmm. Yeah. Well, I dated a Girl. Uh, and she cheated on me with a actor. Right? Oh, right. And so she went down to Vegas with my buddy's wife, and she came back all teary eyed. I'm like, what's matter? She said, well, I fucked up. I cheated. And she slept with Steve Gutenberg. Oh, right. But Police Academy was one of my favorite movies. It's one of the best movies. Yeah. You can even make that today. I know. And so I'm like, I wasn't. Upset. Is that weird? You're like, fuck, I love that guy. Yeah. I'm like, I'm just glad it wasn't the dude that made all the weird noises with his, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm like, I, here's my thing. If people are gonna do some shit, they're gonna do it.

Anna:

It's a good segue to our next thing, ohoh. Okay. You have heard of course about green flags and red flags, so I'll read you a bunch of dating scenarios.

Dahniel:

Alright?

Anna:

And you, Danielle, you're gonna tell me if it's a green flag, all right. Or a red flag for you.

Dahniel:

This might get weird.

Anna:

Okay. It's time for flagged or bagged. All right.

Dahniel:

Flagged or bag. All right.

Anna:

Flagged or bag. Alright. Okay. These are first dates.

Dahniel:

Okay.

Anna:

Someone who is very obsessed and focused on their career. You are both agree and already.

Dahniel:

Yeah, because I like people to be independent and do their own thing,

Anna:

Uhhuh,

Dahniel:

but depending on how obsessed they are. You know, I do want to hear about who they are.

Anna:

Ooh. So this is like a Could be good, could be bad. Yeah. As someone who's been giving like an ultimatum. It's your career with me. I agree. I like someone to have a career.

Dahniel:

Yeah, me too.

Anna:

Uh, someone who brings up previous relationships on a first date, you're okay with that?

Dahniel:

Totally cool with it.

Anna:

I'm borderline. Uh, here's what I don't like. Oh God, my ex, blah, blah, blah, my ex blah, blah, blah. My ex. Yeah. That's different. Yeah. But I don't mind in a natural con if it's on a topic.

Dahniel:

Right.

Anna:

Or if I directly ask you.

Dahniel:

Mm-hmm.

Anna:

A woman who is sober.

Dahniel:

So a woman who's sober. I have no problem with that.

Anna:

No. With that green fact. Uh, a woman who is separated but not yet divorced.

Dahniel:

I'm gonna say green, but I have been through that situation. Well, did it work out? Uh, I, we dated for a while, but her divorce with him for like four years.

Anna:

Oh.

Dahniel:

You know, and at the end of the day it's like, okay, you know

Anna:

you're gonna first date. Mm-hmm. The next day she texts you first. Mm-hmm. That she loves to see you again. Green flag, red flag, green flag.

Dahniel:

Well, it depends on how the date went.

Anna:

Right. If she, but if she's texting

Dahniel:

me from jail.

Anna:

Well, no. No. Well, she won't because you'll be bailing her out.

Dahniel:

That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.

Anna:

Okay. Sex on a first date. I have no problem with

Dahniel:

that.

Anna:

No problem with that. No. And would you, Jo, would you judge her and not be in a relationship with her if she does that?

Dahniel:

Nope. Not at all.

Anna:

Don't care.

Dahniel:

No.

Anna:

It doesn't have to be three days, four days, five days. No. I mean, what's, what's the time limit on sex? I agree. Your date is a mouth breather. It's, it's a tough one. It's a tough one. Okay. Paragraph texting had a green flag.

Dahniel:

Um, a little bit of both. I'm a phone talker.

Anna:

Oh, you prefer the phone? Yeah. Over texting. Yeah.

Dahniel:

I'd rather talk to somebody.

Anna:

That's kind of interesting because that shit

Dahniel:

can get lost, like conversation can, can get weird and lost.

Anna:

But I think that is a 40 plus thing. We are still kind of remembering the, the phone days. Yeah.

Dahniel:

Yeah. I mean 'cause anybody can be anybody over the internet or through texting.

Anna:

Exactly. I That

Dahniel:

could be a fucking cowboy pirate.

Anna:

You are not online. No, but. We have some interesting bios from online, so it's time for what we call biohazard. Um, okay. I'm gonna read you a bio that someone posted, okay? And let's pretend you're online. Okay. And swiping left is a no. Okay. Online swiping right is a yes. Sorry. Cool. Let's say you like her picture. Okay. She writes, cat Mom, who can't wait for you to meet my pussy. I bring my cat on every date. Because she's the best judge of character. Would you swipe left or no? Or swipe right?

Dahniel:

Left

Anna:

hard? Left.

Dahniel:

I'm allergic to cats.

Anna:

So if someone did bring their cat on a first date, it would be a hard pass. Yeah.

Dahniel:

No.

Anna:

Okay. This is another post. This is what she writes. Okay. Single mom of six kids. Okay. Non-monogamous. In search of thoughtful, generous, age, appropriate man who can meet in real life and isn't afraid of emotions. Bonus, I am funny and flexible. That's it. I that,

Dahniel:

that's good.

Anna:

I. So nevermind the six kids. We're okay with that? Yeah. Okay. Funny and flexible.

Dahniel:

Mm-hmm.

Anna:

She says she's weird, friendly, loud, and she's weird. She writes,

Dahniel:

I'm, I'm loud and weird, so it's just Ah, yeah.

Anna:

So she's upfront about loud and weirdness and you like it.

Dahniel:

Yeah. I come from a loud and weird family.

Anna:

I like that. And

Dahniel:

I'm loud and weird

Anna:

if you're loud and weird. Danielle is your man. So let's pretend it's the 1980s where people actually make VHS dating tapes. Oh God. You remember? Can you be,

Dahniel:

hi, I'm Maurice. I'm an executive by day and a wild man by night.

Anna:

Um, I like to talk to people, uh, deep into the night. Hi, I'm Fred. I do consider myself a refined valley dude. I'm looking for the goddess. Are you the goddess? So, if you had to look into this camera Oh, no. And do a one minute pitch. Oh no. What would it be? Give your best shot. 10 seconds.

Dahniel:

Uh, it was a, I make chili. I like to have concerts in my kitchen. That's about it. Uh, let's see. Hi, I am Dahniel I make a chili. I don't like to wear pants. That's

Anna:

really all I got. I like it. Yeah. I make good chili. I don't like to wear pants. Yeah. Okay. I like, Hey, it's good. Yeah. Okay. Another thing that happens out there dating may or may not be on your terms, right? Yeah. But there are some new terms out there dating like terminology that you might have to get with, there's a lot of terminology. So I have picked three. Okay. And you're gonna guess what they are and I'm gonna tell you what the actual, and hey, you might get it right. Alright. In dating terminology, it's time for terms of endearment, everybody. Okay? Here comes the first word. Floodlighting

Dahniel:

Floodlighting. Mm-hmm. Um, what do you think it could be? I'm gonna say Floodlighting is, fuck flood. I don't have, I have no idea. Uh, somebody that over texts like too much.

Anna:

Okay. Floodlighting is oversharing deep emotional baggage early on in a relationship with the intention of then invoking, you know, sympathy. That's floodlighting you're blasting them with are emotional shit. Um, okay, next one. Flash panning,

Dahniel:

uh, sending a shit load of photos of yourself. I dunno.

Anna:

No, no, it is not, it's when a relationship starts off super intense but burns out quickly.

Dahniel:

Mm.

Anna:

Flash panic.

Dahniel:

Mm. New love.

Anna:

Yeah.

Dahniel:

Yeah.

Anna:

But it also burns out quickly. So it's, it's like intense and then we're gone. Okay. Next one. Paper clipping.

Dahniel:

My mind went somewhere else. Oh, go with

Anna:

what? It went. When did it go

Dahniel:

paperclip fucking paper clipping.

Anna:

No, it went somewhere. Tell us the first, what was your first instinct? Just,

Dahniel:

well, I, this is

Anna:

a sexual position. Like, what is it?

Dahniel:

Well, I thought a nipple clips. I don't know why nipple clips the paper. That's not the same thing. Is it?

Anna:

Is that when you wear them on a date, you think or when 'em first time you maybe. Okay. Paper clipping is not nipple clipping. Okay. So sorry to disappoint. No, it's all good. I get that. It is, it is. I have

Dahniel:

bad nipples, so I don't

Anna:

paper. You have bad nipples. Nipple. What does that mean? I never heard of anyone who had bad nipples.

Dahniel:

Uh, my nipples got ripped off.

Anna:

What? How

Dahniel:

I used to race bicycle and I had a crash and yeah.

Anna:

Your nipples are gone.

Dahniel:

No, they sewed it back on. They're just, they look like sad faces now.

Anna:

So like, are they normal looking nipples? No, they, they look like sad faces

Dahniel:

now. They're weird.

Anna:

Sad faced

Dahniel:

nipples. Yeah. Yeah.

Anna:

Oh my God. Are nipples a erotic zone for you?

Dahniel:

Yeah. Well for me. I mean On someone else.

Anna:

Sorry. On you first. No,

Dahniel:

no.

Anna:

I can be in not a sexual mood. I can be cooking dinner and if I'm with someone and they go by and they touch my nipples, I will put down this pan and I'm got, it's like my eyes turn black. Like I was like taking into some zombie world that not come out of that is fantastic. It's, uh, I just give up my secrets. Don't, don't grab my nipples in public people. Well, that's

Dahniel:

fantastic

Anna:

because I will not have sex at Whole Foods Paper clipping. It is an ex sporadically reappearing in your life with seemingly innocent messages or interactions after a period of silence without any intention of meaningful connection. How's that? I, what's the link? We think, I feel like through when you're on a Microsoft Word doc and the little paper clip pops up and says like, can I help you?

Dahniel:

Thank God. Of course I went way over there, but whatever.

Anna:

Okay, I like it. Thank you for a young crew who actually knows what we're doing. I thank you to Rachel for making sure we are not sober. Our final piece, Danielle, we think all our guests are a perfect 10. With a perfect 10 comes 10 quickfire questions.

Dahniel:

All right.

Anna:

To take us home. Alright, are you ready?

Dahniel:

I'm ready.

Anna:

Alright. Okay. What is the most romantic gesture someone has ever done for you?

Dahniel:

Remembered my birthday.

Anna:

That is the cutest. When is your birthday? September 5th.

Dahniel:

Last Girl all dated, dumped me on my birthday.

Anna:

You got dumped on your birthday? I. Anyway, go. Next question. Okay. Dona got dumped on his birthday. Everybody that's just fucked up.

Uh, you could literally waited till 12:

01 AM Yeah, and it would've been better. Well, maybe this birthday. We'll, we'll, we'll hang out. We'll make it better. Alright. What is the best piece of dating or love advice you've ever received

Dahniel:

to be you? How, no matter how weird you are.

Anna:

Love. Yeah. So like, lean into yourself no matter what. Yeah.

Dahniel:

Mm-hmm.

Anna:

What is the one thing you would lie about on a dating app?

Dahniel:

Uh, maybe my age. Maybe.

Anna:

Okay.

Dahniel:

Yeah.

Anna:

Very common for men. Yeah. A lot of men go, I am 57, but I feel like 54, so I'll put 54. I'm not joking. Very common. Well,

Dahniel:

I'm 56, but I act like I'm 17.

Anna:

We're going with 18. That's as good as it gets. Okay. What is the quality you most delore in a partner?

Dahniel:

I hate when people are rude to other people.

Anna:

Lack of kindness, lack of empathy. I

Dahniel:

hate, I have a friend of mine, she's beautiful, beautiful. But she's so shitty to other people and it makes her unattractive to me.

Anna:

That would be a major flag for me. Yeah. Like, Don, what turns you on?

Dahniel:

Um, a genuine smile.

Anna:

What is the most unusual place you have had sex?

Dahniel:

Oh, in a convenience store. Oh, good one. Yeah. Like during the, when the store was open.

Anna:

When the store was

Dahniel:

open? Yeah. In the potato chip aisle,

Anna:

uh, ever sent nudes to one.

Dahniel:

Yep.

Anna:

What's a love lesson that you had to learn twice?

Dahniel:

That you have to let people be who they are.

Anna:

What is a toxic trait in a woman that you secretly enjoy?

Dahniel:

Fuck. Can we come back to that one? Uh, those dangerous women that do really fucked up shit, but don't get me in trouble.

Anna:

Right? So it's bad, but it's good. But it's good, but it's bad. Okay. Here's the last, very last one.

Dahniel:

Okay?

Anna:

Let's say you and I meet again,

Dahniel:

right?

Anna:

Exactly. A year from now. What would we be celebrating?

Dahniel:

Uh, and a year from now, I have made you chili.

Anna:

We're gonna be toasting over your amazing chili. Yep. And I cannot wait. Thank you, Dahniel I'm so excited. Listen, me too. That is it for us today. This my friends is, Hey Girl, you up. The answer to that is always I see you next time. Next up on Hago You Up Love and lunch Halls, two single parents, one honest convo about dating with kids in the mix.

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Anna Moulaison

Host