Ep. 13 - Candle Stick

It is ok to feel broken. And it is ok to reach out for help. We are not doing this alone. I promise.

Transcript

This is It’s Only in Trying — a weekly podcast about the beautiful messiness of becoming.

I am going to do something a little bit different this week. A few weeks ago I  wrote a journal entry that made me think of a friend. It ended up being a message that both of us needed.

So, this is for my friend Dana. And it is also for anyone else who needs a reminder that you don’t have to, and aren’t, doing this alone. So, here we go.

How can you light my way when you need someone else to turn you on before you work? The woman said to the candle stick. Why is it you that I must trust in, when you do not work, but for me?

Silence filled the darkening room, growing blacker as the night began to take over.
I cannot walk down the dark hallway without you, but I must first be the one to make you useful. How can this be true? 

Silence, yet again, but now filling with anger instead od just the darkness.
Why must I be the one to make the effort before you will help me? Why must I take the  first steps? Why, candlestick, can you not do it for me? Why can you not be the one to take the first step? 

I am tired. I am broken. I am in pieces. The last of me should be saved for me and not used on you just so you can get what you need before you help me. Can't you just do it this once for me? 

The room was now completely dark. The candlestick, once slightly visible in the light of the setting sun, now turned invisible, swallowed by the night. And then a voice came, unclear if it was coming from somewhere else in the dark room, from the candlestick, or from within the woman herself. Slowly, softly, the voice began. 

It is not that I do not work without you or that you do not work without me. It is that we work together. My job is to light the way while yours is to turn me on when you need me. Yes it will take some effort on your part but so long as you keep me lit, I will walk with you. Sometimes my flame will go out. It is fair that you ask why… but so long as you take the first step to turn me back on, to turn to me as your partner, even when there is doubt of my use, I will always be here to help you co-create. Our reliance on each other will ebb and flow. There are no bright lines between the beginning of me and the end of you. Please know that even in the times when you feel weak, or broken, or in pieces, I am here. 
Do not be afraid that using your last bit of strength to come to me will be your end. For the simple act of turning to me will be what helps you pull your pieces back together. It will be what turns the light on in the dark. If you use me until the last bit of my wax is gone, do not worry. I will send another, and another, and another. I help you; you help me because together we are stronger. 

The room again went silent. With the last of her strength the woman lit the candlestick and began to heal.

If you liked this, let me know. I would love to hear what style resonates with those that are listening.

And, as always, just remember, you’re doing better than you think.