Episode 11 – Matt Coldry – Where Different Minds Can Thrive

In this episode, we’re joined by Matt Coldry, a coach and consultant specialising in neuro-inclusion, mental health, and equity. Together, we explore what it truly means to create environments where different minds can belong and thrive.

Matt brings together lived experience, academic insight, and coaching practice to challenge deficit-based thinking and highlight the power of kindness, self-reflection, and strength-led approaches — offering a thoughtful lens on neurodiversity, leadership, and what inclusive cultures really look like in practice.

Transcript

Nick:
There we go.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, Nick.
Here we are again, another episode of The Coaching Lens.
We've just lost our podcastee — he's just walked off camera.
Oh, there he is.
There he is.

Matt:
Sorry, the washing machine was on, so I just closed the door.

Nick:
That was the shortest ever podcast.
And we’re out of here.

Alan:
Yeah. And 3, you guys, I’m out of here. We’ll start again.
Hey, Nick.
Podcast number 11 for Coaching Lens. How are you, fella?

Nick:
I’m very, very well. You?

Alan:
I’m good, I’m good.
I know you don’t like me to say anything that places this podcast in space and time, but we had a great Christmas party this week, didn’t we?

Nick:
We did, we did. Funny.
Creating memories, as it should be, mate.

Alan:
Well, it’s lovely to have Matt Coldry here with us.
Hi, Matt.

Matt:
Hiya. How are we doing?

Alan:
Great, super. Brilliant to have you on the podcast. Really excited to talk to you and learn more about your lens of coaching.
So let’s dive straight in — introduce yourself to the viewers.

Matt’s Introduction

Matt:
Cool, so yeah — I’m Matt Coldry. I’ve got a background in coaching and academia, which I’ve recently left to go out on my own as a consultant.
I specialise in all things EDI reflection, but my main focus is neuro-inclusion — looking at neurodivergence, mental health, and how to create environments that are conducive to including people with the natural neurodiversity we see in the world.

Alan:
Fantastic. That sounds really interesting.
What gets you out of bed in the morning as a coach? We always ask that.

Matt:
Yeah — I’m very values-driven. My purpose is helping people live happy, healthy lives.
Through my life, I’ve experienced discrimination and ableism that held me back as someone neurodivergent. So I’m passionate about creating a world where people like me — and people not like me — feel they belong.
That’s what gets me out of bed.

Alan:
That’s lovely. And I guess it’s not hard to motivate yourself when your work aligns with your values.

Matt:
Yeah, but it didn’t come easy. It took a lot of reflection and introspection to understand that about myself — and to turn it into a career.

Ableism Explained

Nick:
Can I quickly butt in? Ableism — what does that mean?

Matt:
Yeah, sorry — academic jargon.
Ableism is systemic discrimination against people with disabilities.
It can be institutional — like inaccessible buildings — or individual, like assuming someone autistic can’t do a job without asking.

Nick:
Right. If I struggled with that word, others will too.
When you talk about being values-driven, that resonates…

Values, Education & Systems

(Nick shares story about becoming a headteacher, “DHBs” — decent human beings, values-led leadership, authenticity.)

Matt:
What’s interesting is you were trying to do that inside a system focused on quantitative outcomes.
My work bridges sociology and psychology — systems and individuals.
You can’t develop individuals without appreciating the system they operate in.

Nick:
One thing I love now about being a one-to-one coach is you can throw that system pressure out.

Matt:
Yeah. I never fit in at school. Later I found out I had undiagnosed ADHD.
The system wasn’t built for me.
Before diagnosis, I saw myself as flawed. After diagnosis, I realised these weren’t flaws — they were attributes and strengths.

Strength-Based vs Deficit Thinking

(Discussion about strength models, sport, interest-based nervous system.)

Matt:
ADHD isn’t really a deficit disorder — it’s an interest-based nervous system.
If I’m interested, I hyperfocus and become incredibly productive.

Nick:
That reframing is powerful.

Matt:
By age 13, someone with ADHD may have received 20,000 more negative feedback messages than someone without it.
That conditions self-esteem.

Burnout & Self-Kindness

Nick:
When I burnt out as a headteacher, I didn’t reflect at the time. I should have.

Matt:
I’d gently challenge that.
You weren’t the person then that you are now.
When we’re stressed, our brains physically can’t think logically. It’s not that you should have — it’s that you couldn’t.
Self-kindness matters.

Alan:
Self-kindness is interesting. I’m not very kind to myself. Is that learned?

Matt:
It’s a skill. Hard, but learnable.
We’re conditioned not to be kind to ourselves.
But it’s essential for mental wellbeing.

Diagnosis & Confidence

Alan:
When were you diagnosed?

Matt:
At 30.
It helped me understand myself. It removed the idea of personal flaw.
It helped me ask for what I need and work in ways that suit my brain.

Neuroinclusion for Coaches

Nick:
If coaches want to be more neuroinclusive, what should they do?

Matt:
First — neuroinclusion benefits everyone. It’s not just adjustments for one person.
It reduces burnout, stress, and plays to strengths.
Second — distinguish performative inclusion from meaningful inclusion.
Lots of organisations say the right things but don’t act accordingly.
True inclusion is pragmatic, not performative.
And it links back to authentic purpose.

Ending Coaching Relationships

Alan:
How do you end coaching well?

Matt:
By ensuring the client develops self-reflection skills.
If they can authentically link actions and behaviours to their values, they can continue autonomously.

Kindness vs Niceness

Nick:
I love that kindness thread.

Matt:
Kindness and niceness are different.
Niceness can hide behind performance.
Kindness sometimes means hard conversations.
Kindness isn’t always comfortable.

Closing Reflections

Nick:
That’s beautifully articulated.
We’ll take this into our day-to-day work.
Thank you.

Matt:
Thanks for persevering to have me on.

Nick:
Thanks, Matt.

Matt:
Cool. Thanks, Nick. Take care.