Unhealthy Patterns

In this episode, I share the principles that changed the rhythm of my life and helped me break out of unhealthy patterns I didn’t even realize I was repeating. We talk about how simple, everyday habits can quietly shape our lives for better or for worse, and how staying comfortable in those patterns can keep us stuck longer than we intend.

This conversation is about releasing the pressure for overnight change and learning how to stay committed when results aren’t immediate. I open up about what it looks like to stay consistent, trust the process, and resist giving up too early, especially when growth feels slow.

If you’ve been wanting change but feeling discouraged by how long it seems to take, this episode is a reminder that progress often starts subtly and momentum builds when you keep going.

Chapters

• 0:27 Welcome And Call For Honesty
• 2:28 Principle 1: Morning Mind Programming
• 7:12 Identity And Behavior Visualization
• 7:12 Principle 2: Think It Forward
• 11:35 Personal Ownership Over Circumstances
• 11:35 Principle 3: The Do-It-Now Rule
• 20:34 Closing Loops And Mental Clutter
• 22:14 Principle 4: Speak Your Reality

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:27

Family, family, what is going on? Oh my god, it's your boy Prince here, and I want to welcome you to another episode of Against All Odds Podcast. But first, you know what to do. Come on in, get this hug. How you doing? You good? You alright? Alright. Family, listen, it is time for us to be beautifully honest, okay? I did not notice it at first, but I was living the same week on repeat. No, not in a dramatic way, just quietly. Um, same pace, same choices, same results. And I kept telling myself I wanted more, even though nothing around me was changing. Truth is, I used to say I didn't believe in principles like this. I thought desire really should count for something, right? I really had it in my mind that wanting better meant that I was already doing the work. But I stopped debating it and I tried something different. So for one week I committed myself to five principles. Not because I felt ready, not because it felt comfortable, but because staying where I was felt heavier than trying something new. And almost immediately the rhythm of my life began to shift. In this episode, family, I'm sharing those five principles. What challenged me, what stretched me, and what finally moved me from morning change to acting on it. If you've been quietly stuck or circling the same patterns, this conversation is for you. So, family, lean in, stay with me, and let's go on a journey. So, family, listen, the first principle that I had to deal with within myself was what I want to call morning mind programming. Okay, so they say the first 10 minutes after you wake up matters more than almost anything else in your day. Um, because your brain is in this unique state where your subconscious is most accessible. Um, you have direct access to reprogram your operating system. Now it's true, yeah, most people grab their phones immediately when they wake up. They scroll social media, check messages, emails, or immediately want to see what you missed. And what this does is let everyone's agenda program our brain before we even get out of bed. I did this for years and I didn't see a problem with it, y'all. But my brain was being programmed by external noise before I even had a say in the matter. Reading up on drama, taking on problems that belong to other people, comparing myself to others, and offsetting my mood for the rest of the day, and I literally did not even see a problem with this. But family, listen, here is what works. Take 10 minutes. As soon as you wake up, don't grab your phone, don't have conversations in your mind about last night troubles, but just stop to prepare your mind for the day. 10 minute breathers, meditation, or even affirmations. They have so many on YouTube that are free, so we have no more excuses. The breathing shifts your state almost immediately. It gets you out of what we call reactive mode into intentional mode. While breathing, you focus on two things, okay? And that is your identity and your beliefs. The way you claim something shapes how your mind accepts it. What I claim becomes who I am. Like when confidence is presented as present, it settles in. When discipline is spoken as current, it roots deeper. What I mean is it's almost like they say you have to fake it until you make it. You have to rewire your brain to believe exactly what you want it to. Now, this will feel strange at first, yes, you'll constantly be in dialogue with your own thoughts, often repeating patterns that weaken your confidence or slow your momentum, but replacing those patterns with ones that support you becomes a steady mental upgrade. You do this consistently, and your beliefs about yourself actually begins to shift. About what's possible, about how you show up, how you don't show up. You don't have to show up like you're working for a seat, family. You have to show up knowing that there is a seat for you. You have what it takes, and you do belong there. You just have to know that. You have to show up in that. Secondly, we focus on your behaviors, right? Your behaviors for the day. Visualize how you want things to go and see the outcome. See yourself handling that conversation well, see the outcome of your work paying off, see yourself sticking to your diet or your health plan. You have to see yourself going up to that person and putting yourself out there. I know it sounds silly, but what you're doing is creating in your mind, it's almost like a mental vision board, fam. Um, because when similar situations show up again, uh um your brain remembers the patterns of past experiences, okay? Um, so that familiarity will bring will will slowly build confidence. Think about the times when you see a guy nervous to talk to a girl, and so he replays what he will say over and over and over and over again in his head. What this is doing is slowly building his confidence to actually say it. You're setting two GPS coordinates. That's how I put it. Your emotional GPS, you want to feel, and your mental GPS. What you're going to actually do. Because, family, most people, most days, like I used to do, just wake up and accept whatever mood hits them, whatever mood pops up, and we keep failing at the same things over and over again because of it. Let's shift our minds, let's take control of our day. Principle number two. I had to learn how to think it forward. Listen, family, we have to think it forward. When I first started my business, I had this false reality that because I had this promise, right? And this ambition, and honestly, because I had suffered enough in my mind, so I made up that this was going to be easy, that I was going to post I was starting a business, and overnight I was gonna blow up and I would be on top of the world. So when the responses wasn't what I thought it would be, or what I expected, I can't lie. Now, I was put into a place, a huge place of disappointment, and I got real lazy. I wouldn't post, I didn't want to do the work. Um, when I did do things, I would post and build my portfolio. People would like and love the stuff, but no one was booking me or booking me the way I thought they would, or that they should be, anyway. Um, so I started making excuses as to why I wasn't growing at the rate I wanted to grow or expand. I made so many excuses. I blame my circumstances. I said I didn't have enough time, I'm juggling work, church, business, and home. Um, you know, not enough resources, I got more bills than I have money, you know. I ain't got enough help, just you know, all that good stuff. A mentor once said to me though, he said this when a company grows, all of the responsibility or weight is on the founder or the creator. When that same company loses or fails, people will scatter, they will go on to the next, but all of the responsibility is still on the founder or the creator. He pushed the idea even further, saying, if you wish to live a life of health, peace, strong connections, love, it all still comes back to personal responsibility. Ending up unfulfilled with regret or falling short of potential carries the same weight of responsibility of your own choices. You must treat your life like something you actively lead. See, I was letting circumstances take the driver's seat, and I was waiting for the ideal moment that family honestly sometimes may never even come. Every outcome, both the progress and the setbacks, traces back to how I choose to show up. It was this moment for me. I choose to move my focus away from feeling targeted by circumstances and focused on choosing a response that pushed life forward. You see, when you're playing the victim, your brain scans for evidence that the world is playing against you, that you can't catch a break, and it's everyone's fault. So when you take personal ownership, your brain scans for solutions that you can't actually control. Truthfully, there is very little that we can actually control in our life. We can't control the economy, we can't control the past, we can't control people people's actions, their thoughts, um, random events, you can't even control failures, okay? But you can't control what we can't control is your effort, how you show up, how you perceive setbacks, your determination to not be stopped, your attitude, your choices and responses. See, when something turns out well, that comes from me. When something turns out not so well, that also comes from me. Okay, excuses stop making sense when you realize that you're in control, even when it feels like you aren't. So no more it was traffic, the way I grew up, just not the right time. It's not saying that things that happen to you is your fault, okay? Because bad things will happen to you that are not your fault, but you are responsible for what you do next. That's where your power lies, family. Principle number three. I had to really learn a do-it-now rule. And this is very important because here is something that will seem really small, but it really works. Okay? If something needs to be done and it only takes a few minutes, just do it now. No more arguing with yourself on if you feel like doing it now or doing it later, or just finish it. I would get messages and see them and mentally say I'll respond later, right? And the whole day it keeps popping up in my head on break, I didn't respond. On the drive home, oh, I didn't respond. In the shower, oh I didn't respond. But every time, it still never gets answered. And though that's one, I have many things that I would write off to do later and hours later, and I would realize I never did them. I had so many of these what I call brain loops, almost like a computer browser that has too many tabs open, right? Each one of these tabs pulls a little focus. If your mind feels cluttered or overwhelmed, you may have dozens of these loops competing for your attention, and you don't even realize it. I would postpone everything, so so much so when it came down to doing graphics and media. Now, as many of you may know, or some of you may not know, um, you know, I'm also a content creator. So when it was time to finish editing and doing the work, I kept putting it off. And half the time I was putting it off for smaller stuff that I should have done earlier that I put off, and now after playing cleanup, I'm too mentally tired to sit here and edit these videos for hours. You know what I'm saying? So here is what we have to do, fam. Start closing the loops. After dinner, just go ahead and wash those dishes. After you wash clothes, just go ahead and put those clothes up. Complete things as they appear, not put them off for later. As each small act reinforces a habit of taking responsibility and building structure. Again, I know it seems simple, but it really does work. One thing is if you're deeply focused on something, of course, something meaningful, don't break that connection for small stuff, just create a checklist if you have to. But as you're moving through your day and you're transitioning between work life balancing, this structure will change everything. If you're feeling worn out or mentally tired or drained, it could be because you have too many tabs open, draining your focus. But completing the small things trains you to become someone who actually finishes things. Okay, most people are great at starting, but not so great at completing. Handling small tasks like this throughout the day is like doing small reps at the gym. You're building the muscle that follows through. You're proving to yourself repeatedly that you can't complete what you start. Just set a timer. I I'm I'm I I'm gonna give you some um homework, okay? Just set a timer one day and see how much you can complete in 30 minutes, and see that you will do a whole lot more, much, much more, than you probably ever expected that you would actually do. And notice how much calmer and quiet your mind will feel afterwards. Not to mention the peace you create for yourself when things just get done. Okay, so close one loop and see how many others are draining you. Take care of today so you'll have time for your tomorrow, family. Principle number four. I had to really being saved all my life, I knew about speaking, but principle number four I had to learn is speaking your reality into existence. Family, do you really understand that you have all the power to speak your reality into existence? Use your words to aim your life where you want it to go. This principle is not just for positive thinking. Language literally shapes your brain, your attention, your emotions, your identity, your beliefs. You will act in alignment with what you believe. Confidence is treated as part of who I am, and success treated as already realized. I speak about myself from the perspective of the person I already embody, not who I hope to become, is what I'm saying, in other words. You can be afraid of something that hasn't even happened yet in the future, right? Anxiety is literally the fear of future events. So if you can emotionally experience fear about something that has not happened yet, you can also experience gratitude for something that hasn't happened yet. You can thank God or whatever you believe in, you know, um, for the things you're calling into your life right now. Like when you focus on health, frame that that that request with gratitude for your well-being. In other words, I'm not saying, oh God, please heal me, but God, I thank you that I am the healed of the Lord. I thank you that I have everything I need. I thank you that I am the head and not the tail. See, you have to speak from the place of which you are going, from the place of which you already see yourself. I can't see myself- oh, okay, okay, okay. So the mind can support healing, okay, just as easily as it can worsen symptoms. Every word you use shapes that outcome. Your language shapes everything. What you notice, how you feel, what you think you are, and ultimately what you do. We act again in align with what we believe about ourselves. Behaviors don't define identity, though. Experiencing anxiety does not make someone anxious by nature, it simply means that they have gone through anxiety. So that distinction matters and how the mind perceives itself. So, yes, you may be broke right now, but I don't call myself broke. I mean, I have money right now, but I'm not gonna call myself broke. I may not be able to go out and just spend a thousand dollars on a t-shirt, but I'm not gonna call myself broke. I see it, so I'm gonna keep calling it in, but I'm not gonna speak from the place that I actually y'all speak your reality into existence. The guidelines is simple, okay? Avoid attaching limiting labels to your identity, and don't use statements that diminish your worth or your ability, don't reinforce the wrong wiring, shift towards describing or shift towards descriptions that recognize your capacity and your growth. Identity should reflect possibility, not limitation. You can really do all things. There is a Hebrew word that says abracadabra, and most people think it's what magicians say, um, but the actual translation is as I speak, I create. Abracadabra, as I speak, I create. Whatever you speak, you're literally creating into your reality. What are you speaking over yourself? What reality are you creating with your words? I'm not just talking about what comes out of your mouth, your internal dialogue to the voice in your head that narrates your life. That voice is creating your reality every single day. Make it work for you, not against you. I try to imagine all of the cells in my body hearing everything I say and fully believing it. So, how can I speak in a way that makes every cell in my body align with what I say? And when I got clear on this and I started being intentional with my language, everything shifted. The way I saw myself changed, the way I showed up changed, and even the results I got changed. Nope, no, no, not overnight, but through consistency over time. Principle number five. Friction design. Okay, family, listen. It's true that humans follow the path of least resistance. You design your environment so good habits are easy and bad habits are hard. If you want to read more books, then buy and place books in IV or place them in the places that you normally sit. You want to exercise more, then pull out your gear and leave it on the chair or stand where you can see it. Or even if you want to go the extra mile, then sleep in your gym clothes and wake up and go to the gym, whatever motivates you. If you want to eat better, then prep, then meal prep. You know, put them in the fridge at high levels where you can see them, not hide them in the back where it's out of sight, out of mind. You see how easy it is to start good habits? Now reverse this for bad habits. If you want to stop mindless scrolling, then delete social apps. Or set a strict social media time limit and actually follow it. If you want to stop snacking, then don't buy junk food. You can't eat what isn't there. Family, listen, every behavior has friction points. Add friction to behaviors you want to stop, and remove friction from behaviors you want to start. Your willpower is limited, it depletes throughout the day. So friction design removes the need for willpower. Examine your environment right now. What's the easiest thing to do? If it's grab your phone, scroll, or eat junk food, or do the things that you don't want to do, then your environment is working against you. Redesign it. Make the right choices, the obvious choices. Because making the wrong choices will require effort. Family, your environment, even if it's that place within your mind that shapes your behavior more than your intentions. Change your environment and you'll change your life. Family, listen, change fails because people attach symptoms instead of systems. You're frustrated with your weight, so you force yourself to eat less. You're anxious about money, so you work longer hours. You're unhappy in your relationship, so you try hard to please people. But none of this will actually work long term because you're treating outputs and not inputs. Most people try to change results directly. They set goals, make plans, use willpower, but this approach depletes fast because it fights against how you see yourself. You see, identity drives behaviors automatically. Someone who identifies as discipline doesn't need to show up as discipline. It's who they are. Like someone who identifies as healthy doesn't need to debate whether to exercise, it's just what healthy people do. You see, the behavior flows naturally from identity. You got me? So stop setting goals about what you want to achieve. Start building your identity around who you want to become. Don't aim to read 50 books this year, just become someone who reads daily and watch yourself grow. Don't give yourself an unrealistic target of losing 50 pounds. Just become someone who actually moves their body and eats well. And slowly shift into that person. This distinction matters because one requires constant effort. You see, I'm no longer lying to myself, while the other becomes automatic, is just who I am because that's who I want to be. Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become. And small votes count, fam. And no, one workout won't transform you, but it's evidence that you're someone who puts exercising seriously. No one healthy meal won't change your body, but it's proof that you're someone who's taking yourself more serious. You accumulate enough evidence, and your identity is going to shift into when your identity shifts, behavior follows effortlessly. Here's something no one wants to hear, family. Consistency beats intensity every time. You see, the issue is we're addicted to transformation, quick transformation, like lose 30 pounds in 30 days, or promises like change your entire life this weekend. And yes, these narratives will sell because they promise results without the boring middle part where nothing seems to happen. But a family. Your bank account looks the same, your body may look the same, your life may feel identical, and this is where 95% of people quit. We assume the work is not working because we can't see the immediate results. But understand this habits compound like interests. The effects multiply over time, but the early returns will feel worthless. You won't notice progress day to day, you'll barely notice week to week. But if you compare yourself month to month or year to year, that gap becomes undeniable. So this means show up when it's boring, show up when nothing changes, show up, especially when you can't see the progress. That's where a transformation lives, in the invisible middle where most people quit. But the gap between who you are and who you're capable of becoming is not closed or filled with more information. It's filled with immediate action that makes you slightly uncomfortable right now. Family, don't wait. Start the work now. Do it now while that little spark of possibility is still alive in your chest. Because that spark dies fast, and the version of you that could have changed is gonna die with it. You got this family, and I believe in us. That's gonna do it for this one. I'm gonna see you in the next one. Thank you for listening to another episode of Against All Odds Podcast.