Painful Growth

This is a conversation for the ones who feel like they’re changing… and don’t fully recognize themselves anymore.

In this episode, we sit with the weight of growing pains, grieving who you used to be, navigating the discomfort of boundaries, and facing the reality that not everyone will accept the version of you you’re becoming.

If you’ve been feeling the tension between who you were and who you’re becoming… this is for you.

Transcript

Warm Welcome And Real Talk

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Family, family, you already know who it is. It's your boy Prince here, and you already know what to do. Come on, bring it in. Come get this hug. How you doing? You alright? You good?

When The Old You Stops Showing

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Well, family, listen, I thought something was wrong with me. Because I didn't respond the same anymore. I didn't laugh the same, I didn't show up the same, I didn't give the same access I used to. And people noticed it. They called it distance, they called it attitude, they called it you've changed. And maybe I did. But what they did not see was I was tired of overextending myself. Tired of saying yes when my spirit was screaming no. Tired of being available for everyone, but unavailable for myself. So when I started choosing me, it didn't feel like growth at first. You know, it really felt like guilt, felt like a loss. It felt like I was becoming someone I didn't even recognize. But maybe I was not breaking, maybe I was finally becoming someone who knew when to stop, when to pull back, when to say that's enough. And not everyone was going to understand that. So, fam, let's talk about it. Welcome to another episode of Against All Odds Podcast.

Growth Can Feel Like Anger

SPEAKER_00 2:20

The way you think, the way you respond, the way you show up, and instead of feeling proud about it, you start questioning yourself. Like, why am I so different now? Why am I reacting like this? Why do I feel so off? I had to sit with that some days because family, for a while, I thought something was wrong with me. I thought maybe I was becoming too guarded, too distant, too hard. I started noticing I wasn't saying yes as quickly. I wasn't as available. I wasn't stretching myself the way I used to. And for a moment I almost tried to go back because being the old me did feel easier. It kept the peace. Um, it kept people comfortable. But the truth about it is I was not becoming a worse version of myself, I was only becoming aware. And let's be honest, sometimes growth doesn't feel like growth, sometimes it feels like anger, sometimes it felt like frustration, it felt like distance, because um you're finally seeing things you used to ignore, because you're finally feeling things you used to suppress, and you're finally acknowledging what did not sit right with you in your spirit, and that can feel overwhelming, I would say. Um, so you start asking yourself, am I changing for the better? Or am I becoming something I don't

Boundaries Look Like Rejection

SPEAKER_00 3:56

even recognize? And then comes the boundaries, because that's the part right there, you know. Um, that's where everything really starts to shift because now you're not just growing internally, you're moving differently externally. Um, you start saying no, you start pulling back, you start choosing yourself in ways you didn't choose yourself before. And for you, it can feel like alignment, but for others, it can feel like rejection. And no one really prepares you for that part. The looks, the comments, the distance, people questioning you, misunderstanding you, even rejecting you. Um, not because you did something wrong, but because you stopped allowing what was wrong, right? Um, and that hurts. It really does. Um, because now you're in this space where you're doing what's healthier for you, but it's costing you relationships, comfort, and familiarity. Um, and so you start wondering, is this worth it? Is this the way I'm supposed to be moving in life?

Stop Arguing For Basic Respect

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Um, but this is what I had to learn. Um, I don't have to fight to be respected, okay? I don't have to argue my boundaries into existence, I don't have to convince someone to treat me with care. Because the right people, they may need time to adjust, but they won't require you to shrink. Yeah. They won't require you to betray yourself just to keep them in your life, yeah. And this is the part that takes real strength because um being okay with letting people go who don't respect your boundaries as you evolve in life, um, you don't let them go in anger, not in bitterness, but in clarity, understanding that just because you love someone does not mean that they're aligned with who you're becoming now. And that does not make you wrong, it only makes you honest. So now, instead of saying something is wrong with me, um, you know, I started saying, I'm changing, I'm learning, I'm becoming someone who honors myself. And yeah, it's uncomfortable, yeah, it comes with losses. Yes, it can feel lonely at times, but it's also freeing. Because on the other side of this is a version of you that's no longer overextended, no longer overlooked, no longer taken for granted, a version of you that knows when to say yes and mean it, and knows when to say no and stand on business, a version of you that's at peace, at true peace. So when you're in uh so when you've been in that space, questioning yourself, feeling like you're changing too much, losing people, feeling misunderstood.

Nothing Wrong With You

SPEAKER_00 7:05

I want you to hear this clearly. There is nothing wrong with you. You're not becoming worse, you're becoming aware, you're becoming intentional, you're becoming whole, you're evolving, and not everyone is going to come with you into that version, and that's okay. Take your time with it, stand in it, trust it, you're not broken, you're only becoming. That setting boundaries wasn't me pushing people away, it was me finally choosing where I stand. And yeah, it will cost you. It will cost you comfort, it will cost you familiarity, it will cost you some people, some people that you would you think would really understand. But what you will gain is yourself, not a version that's overgiven, not a version that stayed too long, not a version that made yourself smaller to be accepted, but a version that stands in truth, a version that stands in truth when it's quiet, when it's lonely, and when it's misunderstood. So if you're in that space right now where choosing yourself feels heavy, where growth feels like loss, where boundaries feel like rejection, just know you're not wrong, you're not too much, you're not broken, you're finally honoring yourself. And the people who are meant to be in your life won't require you to abandon that.

Final Reminder And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Family, that's gonna do it for this one. Until the next time, I'll see you in the next one. Peace, family.