Speaker 1: 0:13

Good afternoon everyone, and thank you so much for taking some time out to be here today with speaking with Sandra L, the Patient Experience Podcast. With speaking with Sandra L the Patient Experience Podcast, and today I have a lovely, the very, very lovely senior subject matter expert when it comes to cancer, ms Talia Dandy. And before I go any further with today's podcast, what I do want to say is this there are some people that get things in life because, hey, they were born with a silver spoon. There are some people that get things in life because, you know what, maybe somebody likes them and they just got it and they got it easy. Well, our senior subject matter expert today, ms Talaya Dente, she is nothing of that. She is a 2025 Bush fellow, which, if you don't know what that is, look it up and she didn't get that way because anybody gave her anything. This black woman, my sister, my queen hood, she received that honor because she worked for you.

Speaker 1: 1:24

Anyone that knows cancer knows Talia and they know just how awesome she is and they know that she leads from the heart. She leads because she cares. She leads because she was a cancer and she was a cancer patient and she's now a cancer survivor. So when we look at the patient experience, we have to take a look at what does this look like when someone is being a patient? What does it look like when someone's given a diagnosis that you have this horrible, dreaded disease?

Speaker 1: 2:03

Does it look like, hey, we close up the books and we don't do anything else? Or does it look like we take a look at that hourglass and say, uh-uh, my life has just begun and we flip it and we do it in reverse, and we do it so much that it becomes a part of us and it's embedded in us. And so, without any further ado, I'm going to go ahead and actually start questioning this beautiful like I said, my beautiful sister, a sister from another mother, but she's still my sister and if you know Talia, you know that she's your sister too. So, without any further ado, I'm going to go ahead and go on with this conversation. So, ms Talaya, can you tell us, before we get into the question part, can you tell us just a little bit about yourself, without giving away what the cancer doula in you is, because of course, that's one of my questions.

Speaker 2: 3:01

Sure Well, first of all, sandra, thank you so much for that warm and beautiful welcome. I so appreciate you. It's just an honor to be here with you again. So I am a 14-year now cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2011. And I always say I was diagnosed out of the blue because I never had any health issues. I was pretty healthy. You know, I was rarely a health care consumer other than you know annual exams and eye doctor appointments, dentists so really I didn't know much about the health care system. In addition to being a cancer survivor, I also I love to travel, I love to walk. So this time of year is my time of the year. I like to just go to different parks and check out the walking trails. So that's just a little bit about me.

Speaker 1: 4:02

Thank you so much for that and I'm here to be having an issue with this. So I'm going to go ahead and keep you on the camera with your beautiful face the whole time, and they'll just hear me talking and asking you these questions. So my next question to you is this what for those unfamiliar with the term cancer doula, what exactly is a cancer doula?

Speaker 2: 4:26

That's a great question, sandra, and I often get that question a lot. So what I like to do is start with the word doula and a doula at its core. Just strip away anything from in front of the word doula and a doula is someone who supports another person through a major life change or significant health-related experience. And so major life change, significant health-related experience that is definitely cancer. Many people are familiar with birth doulas. Of course. They help women before birth, during birth and even after birth. There are now death doulas who help people transition at the end of life.

Speaker 2: 5:08

And as a cancer doula, I focus on the present and I am walking with my clients through their cancer journey. And so essentially a cancer doula in my perspective, in my meaning, is I walk with people and also their family that have been diagnosed with cancer. They're trying to figure out how to navigate cancer, to navigate the health care system, but then my major focus is on the emotional support aspect of being a cancer doula. It is about focusing on the present and helping individuals and families get on the other side of their cancer diagnosis.

Speaker 1: 5:52

Thank you so much for that, and so, once again, as I stated when we first started, a beautiful, beautiful person, and the fact that this work that she does, it doesn't come with fanfare, it comes straight from the heart. And so my next question is this what inspired you to become a cancer doula?

Speaker 2: 6:16

Yes, thank you for that question. I love this question because it just really takes me back to where I was at that time when I was diagnosed, and it really helps me to reflect on where I am now. And so when I was going through my cancer journey, I had a great health care team, a great oncologist. I had the support of my family, but, of course, family they love us, they do the best that they can, but sometimes it's hard for them to relate if they have not been through what we're going through.

Speaker 2: 6:47

And so for me, there was a big void, a big gap when it came to having someone to talk to who understood what it was like to go through cancer. There was really no one who could take my hand and say, talia, here's what's coming around the corner, here's what you need to prepare for, and so I found that to be very isolating. So, essentially, what I started doing was figuring out ways to support myself, and you know, just doing research, learning about yoga, learning about meditation, learning about the importance of being mindful, you know improving my journaling skills to really help me through a lot of those tough days. So really, sandra, it's to fill a void. It filled a void for myself, and now I want to fill that void for other people who may feel like, hey, no one gets what I'm going through.

Speaker 1: 7:44

You know, talia, what I do want to say and unfortunately, like I said, I'm not sure what I did wrong, but we're not on the same screen, so I'm very mindful of that but what I do want to say is this full of that, but what I do want to say is this on October 25th, here in Chicago, our foundation is actually doing something that speaks to the work that you're doing. So we're actually having a healthcare summit and it's called the Unseen Health. Right, because there are plenty of times and you probably have seen this where within our community not even within our community outside our community, people are silently suffering with different types of cancers. Right, you know, we hear about breast cancer, we hear about lung cancer, we're now hearing about colon cancer and skin cancer, but there's so many other cancers that impact and affect our communities that we don't know about it, sometimes until it's, you know, either too late or we're sitting there suffering when we don't have to suffer. We don't know that there's resources available. We don't know that, hey, stomach cancer is one of the leading cancers in African-American communities. We just don't know that because we don't have the resources that we should have available to speak to us.

Speaker 1: 9:05

So, to have someone like you available, who is a cancer doula. You're not concentrating on the lung or the skin or the breast. You're like all. Cancer is cancer, no matter who you get it, who gets it and what type of cancer you get. It's something that we need to talk about more often than what we now talk about. We need to talk about more often. So to have your services available and I do know that you do you know you're in Minnesota, but I know that you do, unless I'm wrong but I don't think I'm wrong that you offer telehealth services so that someone that needs help that doesn't live in Minnesota can call you and say hey, I'm struggling with this. I was just told about this. I've never heard about it before and I saw you and your cancer doula, so can you help me? Where there's help across the board, there's help all over, no matter where it is that you live at.

Speaker 1: 10:07

And the important thing to know is this and I am going to put the disclaimer out here because I know that you put it on your personal documents and your email documents, but we all need to know this, because I come across this a lot as well you or I are not doctors. We're research resource warriors Once again, research and resource warriors. We don't take the place, we don't claim to take the place of your doctor. If you have sitting down and having that conversation with your doctor, your doctor is a very vital part of the whole equation when it comes down to sustainable health care and we need both of us and anyone else that's in the health care field, that's not in the clinical side. We need you to know that. It's important for your patient experience, whether you're the patient or you are the loved one of a patient, a caregiver. We need you to know.

Speaker 1: 11:11

Stop looking at Dr Google, mr Firefox.

Speaker 1: 11:16

Stop saying, oh, I can call Talia because she's a cancer doula, or I could reach out to Sandra because she does X, y, z, because we're not your doctor.

Speaker 1: 11:28

You really need to have a conversation with your doctor and if your doctor is not available or you feel like your doctor's gaslighting you or maybe you don't like that particular doctor, neither one of us want to see you go without healthcare, but what we want to do is we want to see you with a doctor that you feel comfortable with. So you can call either one of us and you can say and even my board member. You can call and say, hey, I need this doctor and I'm having a problem with this doctor, and we'll help you look for a doctor that fits what you're looking for. But please don't take this podcast to be oh well, I can just listen to them. The disclaimer, the disclaimer see your doctor Get off of Dr Google and Mr Firefox, because and I know because I hear it all the time right, you know well, the doctor's doing it, yeah, but the doctor knows what's credible.

Speaker 2: 12:31

Yeah, and to your point. You know, when you are on the internet, look for credible sources that end in the URL that ends in edu, org, those kinds of things, to really make sure that you're getting good and actually recent information, because that information changes so fast.

Speaker 1: 12:54

Right, you're right, and that's another point that I do want to bring up. And so in January of 2026, there will be a digital health platform that will be launched under Choms Many Helps, for that very reason, because we know that a lot of patients don't know, so they don't know what they're looking at. They have no idea what they're looking at. And it all starts with education, and that's where myself and Talaya come in is educating. That's where you, as a patient, come in, is in using the digital platform that will soon be launched to actually go in and learn the things that no one else is telling you you can learn on your own. It's called self-care and it's called self-advocating, and it's a tool that will help you self-care and self-advocate. So, off my soapbox now.

Speaker 1: 13:48

But I had to put that disclaimer out there because people will hear us and they're like, oh well, they're a doctor and so, and that doesn't mean they're all doctors. That does not mean that all doctors that you will be coming in contact with, that doesn't mean that they're going to be knowing what they're knowing just because they're a doctor. But, once again, it goes back to having that conversation and if you don't feel comfortable, find another doctor, but don't stop seeing the doctor, because you're not hurting the doctor when you don't stop seeing them, you're hurting yourself and your loved ones Right. Thanks for that. In your journey as a cancer survivor, what helped you to see that there was life on the other side? Look at that beautiful sign on the other side. What helped you to see that there was life on the other side?

Speaker 2: 14:37

Yes, that's a great question.

Speaker 2: 14:39

Well, for me it was a renewed sense of purpose and a new direction, and so, prior to being diagnosed with cancer, I was in corporate America, climbing the corporate ladder, like we were told we're supposed to do, and I just really found my purpose and that's really what helped me to see that there's life on the other side of cancer.

Speaker 2: 15:00

But then also, your perspectives your perspective about a lot of different things change. So I was looking through a new lens. I was able to see things differently, just look at things from a different angle, and when you are faced with the possibility of reaching the end of your life, you really just recognize what's important, you recognize what really matters and you start to shift. Well, I me, I started to shift my focus. I was focusing on things that really didn't matter, that were really not important to me, and so it was really about fulfilling my purpose, figuring out what that was and fulfilling my purpose and really just shifting my focus from things that really didn't matter, from things that caused me a lot of stress or that I couldn't control, and so all of those, in a nutshell, helped me to see that there is, of course, life on the other side.

Speaker 1: 16:05

Thank you so much for that. Now, what's a story whether it's personal or with someone that you worked with before that reminded you that presence is more powerful than work. So being there for someone is more important than calling a person and saying, oh, I'm so sorry you're sick or I'm so sorry that you're suffering through this. What's the story that you can share with us where that proved the point?

Speaker 2: 16:32

Yes. So for me it was really my mom. We had this conversation several years after my diagnosis and several years after I completed treatment, and we were just talking and she had said you know, I wasn't really sure how to support you or if what I was doing was the right thing to do. And I said you know, mom, there's not a manual on how to be a cancer patient or how to be a caregiver, but what I can tell you is, every time we talked, every hug, every hand-holding, every time you accompanied me to an appointment, that was your presence. You were a force of presence is what I call it, and I think society tells us and teaches us that we have to have always have these profound things to say, and that's not always the case. Sometimes silence is golden, but just being there holding the person's hand, giving them a hug, just letting them know that you got them, you're there with them, and so that's one example, a very personal example.

Speaker 2: 17:40

Another one is with a client that I worked with. She actually felt like no one understood what she was going through. She was having a tough time at work and she was someone at work who everyone always relied on for everything, really, and she had that role at home, outside of work. So she just felt like, wow, I'm always giving, giving, giving. I don't have time to take care of myself and because I'm the person who's always giving, people don't know how to support me, and so I just let her go.

Speaker 2: 18:22

I just let her get her stuff out, all the things that she needed to say, and I just sat there and she's like you probably think I'm nuts, don't you? And I said no, I said what I think is you just needed someone to listen. And she just started crying. She's like I that's it and I'm like that's it. And so just really being there for people, holding space for people without judgment, letting them know that they're safe that's another way. So you don't always have to have the right words to say, but your presence, and your genuine presence, is golden. So don't ever feel like, because you don't have the right words, that you are not being supportive. Showing up is just as important as saying anything.

Speaker 1: 19:05

And for that I say thank you so very, very much. And for everyone that's listening to today's podcast, you might be like, well, she sound like she do more than some cancer doula, and that's because not only is she a Bush fellow, not only is she a cancer doula, but she's also a health and wellness coach. So how is that going?

Speaker 2: 19:32

That's going pretty good. My focus on health and wellness I call it well. The health and wellness portion of my business is called Lea's Haven and it's really a place where people can come and get support for, you know, whatever it is in terms of their health and well-being that they want to improve, it's not about me telling you what you need to do. It's about us working together to explore and bring to the surface what's already inside of you.

Speaker 2: 20:01

So some people have come to me and they said you know, I really want to get more sleep, or I really want to manage my time better, or I want to reduce my screen time, but I have all these things to do. So I just support them in making those changes. I don't make those changes for them. I don't tell them how. Support them in making those changes. I don't make those changes for them. I don't tell them how they need to make those changes. I just really, again, hold space for them. You know, if there's any particular resources that they're looking for, I help them find those resources. But really it's using evidence-based coaching techniques to help people achieve their goals and have long-standing, long-term success with the goals that they want to achieve.

Speaker 1: 20:49

Now my next to my last question is and I see that you have your QR code on the screen. However, portions of the banner that are down at the bottom page are cutting off and I can't move the banner. So what I do want you to do is I want you to tell everyone exactly where they can find you, how they can find you. And guess what, if you're listening to this podcast and you're like well, I really want to reach out to her, reach out to me and say hey, sandra, you know what? I would love to speak to that person because I'm going through, or my loved one's going through. It's called collaboration, and me and Talia have collaborated on so many things and, once again, I am so proud very, very proud of where I'm seeing her come from, where I see her now and where I see her going in the future. So if you can go ahead and tell us verbally, tell us where they can find you at, and that will be greatly appreciated.

Speaker 2: 21:49

Absolutely. Thank you for that. So you can find me at ontheothersidelife, and that is where you can find more information about my cancer doula services, but then also you can find out information about my podcast, Navigating Cancer Together. I also have a website that I'm currently working on and it should be up and ready in a couple days. And if you are someone who is in the community space where you are looking for support with research advocacy if you are looking for someone to collaborate with in terms of a community advocate, clinical trials, things like that or you're looking for a speaker in a couple days days, you can go to talayadendypro. That's spelled T-A-L-A-Y-A-D-E-N-D-Ypro, and, again, that should be ready in a couple of days. So there's a couple of different ways that you can reach out to me. I'm on LinkedIn as well. That's the primary social media platform where you can find me.

Speaker 1: 23:00

Thank you so very much for that. And, as we go, I once again know that I put a disclaimer out myself when we were doing a description on this, saying that this subject might be a little bit tense for some people because they're either going through or they know someone, they've lost someone or you know something of that nature. So I just wanted to make sure that people knew that. You know this might be a tender subject. This might be something that you know, a podcast that you want to take and listen to a little bit later, but what I want you to do for me, talia, as well as for all the patients that we service and those who you know, feel as though their voice has been lost and they don't really know what to say or how to say it. Can you just give us some parting words on? You know what it is that cancer patients, whether they're going through or whether they're surviving, or know someone in that instance, what we should all be doing?

Speaker 2: 24:02

Yeah. So my advice, my recommendations, really is to number one be true to yourself, listen to your gut, Listen to your instincts. Always ask questions. If you are not getting a good feeling about any healthcare provider, seek a second opinion. The other thing is, don't be afraid to use your voice and make it clear what your cultural preferences are, any other preferences that you have, make those things very clear. But the most important thing is to try not to let fear dictate your decisions, and I know that that's really hard when you get a diagnosis. But whatever it is that you do to help you get to a calm place if it's prayer, if it's, you know, exercise, whatever that is for you try to not let fear lead you, because it can maybe lead you in some places you really don't want to be. So try not to make decisions out of fear. Make decisions out of education. So that means gathering the information that you need, credible information that you need to make informed decisions about your care. Also again, I can't say this enough If you feel like something is not right with the way that you're being treated, if you feel like you're not being heard, seek a second opinion and don't focus on death Just because you get a cancer diagnosis, it doesn't mean that you're going to die.

Speaker 2: 25:48

Of course people do pass away from cancer. But just use me as an example. I've been here. But you know, just use me as an example. I've been here. I'm here 14 years later after a diagnosis. So focus on what you want your life to look like. Focus on your why. Why do you want to live? And I think, if you put that in front of you why you know why do I want to live? Just really think about that. Keep your answer in front of you and I'm telling you on the really hard days, that's going to help to keep you going. So those are my parting words.

Speaker 1: 26:24

Thank you so much for that and thank you so much for taking the time today to once again sit with us and give back to our patients. That's what we do. That's why we do what we do. It's not for us, it's because we know that there are patients who are suffering through things that they really shouldn't have to suffer through. We know that there's resources out here that are available for patients. They just need to ask. And they need to ask the right person. And, like you said on the, you know, yeah, I've never had cancer, but I lost my sister, I lost my grandmother to cancer, so I had to walk that cancer route as a second party to seeing those that I was close to lose their lives to cancer is hurting, but we have to keep our eyes and our mind focused on that big, beautiful graphic that Talia has, where the sun is out. Yeah, it's dark, but look above it and see that sun and see that on the other side. And that goes along with what I always say at the end of each podcast Be kind, it costs us nothing, it's free, it helps.

Speaker 1: 27:42

Not only does it help you, but it helps the other person who you're being kind to. And yes, sometimes people may aggravate you and you might be like I don't feel like being kind. But look at it this way. Maybe something was on that person's mind and they really weren't able to think through it, but you being kind helps them to see that at the end of the day, there is another chance to live. I thank you again. I thank everyone for listening. Hopefully this comes out correctly. If not, I'm going to be really upset, but I'm going to be kind. I am going to be kind and I thank you for giving me grace to walk through this journey that we went through not only today, but that we go through all the time.

Speaker 2: 28:28

Thank you, Sandra. It's just always a blessing to collaborate with you and I appreciate you. Thank you for everything that you do for the community.

Speaker 1: 28:37

Thank you and you have the rest of a great day you too, appreciate you, thank you for everything that you do for the community. Thank you, and you have the rest of a great day, you too, thank you.