My Hair Went Silver And My Care Went Queen

A single proverb flipped the mirror for me: gray hair as a crown of splendor, not something to hide. From that spark, we dig into how culture, chemicals, cost, and time can push us toward default choices—and how stewardship brings us back to what truly matters. I share why I’m embracing silver strands, how that decision challenged my assumptions, and the way it opened a deeper path into self-care that actually fills the cup.

We get practical and honest. Meditation becomes the daily anchor—starting with YouTube guided tracks and growing into quiet sits and breath work that cut through noise and ego. I talk about journaling to capture clarity, reading Scripture to center my spirit, and choosing active meditations like dance, cooking, or walking to find flow. We also go where burnout hides: constant yeses, late nights, and endless scrolling. You’ll hear the boundary that saved my sanity, why sleep is a sacred practice, and how limiting screens restores presence, focus, and joy.

Along the way are real stories: the salon saga, girlfriends’ getaway magic, and the unfiltered truth about feeling “high maintenance” versus being well cared for. If you’ve wrestled with hair norms, felt stretched thin, or wondered how to balance faith, family, and your own needs, this conversation offers both comfort and a roadmap. Expect simple, repeatable habits you can start today—no fancy gear, no perfection required—just honest steps toward a lighter, steadier life.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs permission to rest, and leave a review with your favorite takeaway so we can keep the conversation going.

Transcript

Worship Warm-Up And Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Where is the air that I'm breathing? My eyes are rolled and I ran out of that grave out of the darkness into your glorious day. You called my name and I ran out of that grave out of the darkness into your glorious day. He is so so good. Here to testify testify the good news who's with me Are you with me? Are you with me? Come and join me. It's the feel good type of song. Yes it is, yes it is. Woohoo!

Proverbs 16:31 And Gray Hair

Hair Stories And Style Experiments

Why I Won’t Dye My Hair

Gray As Confidence And Culture

Audience Reflections On Going Gray

Pivot To Self-Care

Nails, Fun, And High-Maintenance Myths

The Great Broken Nail Saga

Self-Care Mindset And Joy

Meditation As Daily Anchor

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Okay, I think we are ready to rock and roll. I can't always be sure, but sure enough that things are rolling, things are recording red, and life is good. It was funny before I was to get into the mindset, get into the zone of podcasting and sharing in this capacity. I have my trusty and handy dandy Bible Bible here. And sometimes I'm like, Lord, tell me exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. And sure enough, I open it up and it comes to Proverbs 1631. And I'm curious if you guys have heard of this before. I needed this reminder because I was like fluffing up my hair, fixing it up. I'm like, oh my goodness, am I getting gray? Like, I know I was getting gray, right? Like, I have been getting gray, I would say, over the last 10 years, honestly. Gray hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained in a way of righteousness. You heard it here first. It is right here in the Bible. It's kind of crazy. And so now I'm gonna go down this rabbit hole a little bit and be like, wait just a minute here. So, like, gray hair, it's a natural process of what happens when we're aging. We all will go gray. Or for some, go bald. We lose our hair, unless you do your scalp oiling. It's gonna go gray. And that's just a natural process. And a lot of the times people resist the gray, but I am here to testify to us earning this gray hair. It is earned over time. This is wisdom, this is knowledge, this is experience, this is knowing, this is age and aging naturally. I just never got down with dyeing my hair. Honestly, I've done sun in before. Who has heard of sun in? I'm aging myself a little bit, but where you would put that and it would look like your hair was like touched by the sun. Well, I used way too much and end up like bleaching my whole hair was a disaster. And I don't know if it was because of that why I never dyed my hair again. I have put like peekaboo highlights in my hair just when I got like super bored of like the long hair, because sometimes it's like, all right, we got long hair. I know I like it long, and so I wanted to switch it up with the peekaboo highlights, which was fun, and they were blonde, and then I absolutely loved them because that they would just like peek out when you wanted to. When I threw my hair up or when I curled it a certain way, they would the peekaboos would come out to play. And so that was kind of fun, but and I didn't have to maintenance it, so it wasn't like at the top of my head, you couldn't see the roots growing out with the peekaboos. They were kind of just like tucked underneath, and so I could just let them grow out naturally, which worked well for me. And I have cut my hair really short a couple times and donated it to cancers that collect hair for or which has always been gratifying. And it's like, ah, I'm glad that you know, all my hair has gone to a really good place. This makes me feel good. But as soon as I chopped it off, I was like, wait a minute, what did I do? Like, I didn't want to chop off my hair, did I? Like, was that the best decision? Yes, because I you do need to switch it up. I chopped it off so short one time that it was like a bob, like, and they had to shave the back of my head to like kind of blend it all in and it kind of like face framed to give me a little bit more shape that way. And I was like, as soon as I chopped it off, I was like, no, I missed it already. I feel like my hair is like almost like a prop, right? Like I like to float around, I like to wave it back and forth. I like to whip people with it sometimes if you're lucky, or just you know, like for dramatic effect, right? Like I love my hair and it's pretty low maintenance. I think I've talked about in the past episodes here. I only wash my hair twice a week, although it is, you know, it does take a bit to manicure. I do use uh Moroccan oil frizz control when the days where it gets a little wild and I need some extra help. And I love the Moroccan oil detangler too, that has saved me in a lot of sticky situations. But, anyways, back to the gray hair. I just can't get down with dyeing it. Like, I think part of me is there's it's twofold. Like, I do not want to put chemicals on my head. Like, that is where my skull is, that is what's keeping my brain safe, and I just cannot justify like dumping bleaches, dyes, and chemicals all over my scalp that's protecting my brain, that could leech into my brain. And we wonder where like brain cancers are coming from. I'm not to say that like dyeing your hair is totally it, but like it's unnatural, and that's not how God created us. And so I can't get down with it. But this is even before my spiritual journey that I decided that dyeing wasn't for me because uh for the twofold for the second part is that the time, like I just couldn't imagine going every I think it's six weeks to go sit in a chair for like hours to redo your hair for the roots. Like for me, I'm like, no, like I ain't nobody got time for that. Like, this mama's got on the move, she's gotta go. Like, I can't go sitting in the make that time for myself. But uh, that's what kind of segues into this episode and what I want to talk about this week, and that's all about self-care. So I have to like back the train up for a little bit to be like, okay, if dyeing your hair makes you feel beautiful and makes you fulfilled, and you just absolutely love that time with your beautician and you love the way you look, more power to you. That is self-care. So you keep doing your thing. It just doesn't always align with everyone, and it just doesn't align to me. But I had to get a super big chuckle when I opened up the Bible to say that gray hair is like a crown of righteousness. Because yeah, we used to earn it, and then it kind of gets me back to thinking to the colonial times. Well, you know, you remember our president George Washington, and he wore a gray wig, and that was to make him more distinguished looking and very knowledgeable because people with gray hair are assumed to have a lot of knowledge. And I was like, haha. So, like back in the day, people used to pay to have gray hair. Like they and even now people dye their hair gray. It's like the fan. So I don't know if I'm just like out here living my best life and just embracing the natural aging process, or if we're just making ends setting trends, or I'm just a rebel without a cause and just refuse to dye my hair just because that's what the norm says. And my mom does not like it. She's her mom has always dyed her hair, she has always dyed her hair. She's like, Ashley, a lady needs to dye her hair. And I'm like, says who? Like, this lady doesn't need to dye her hair, and that's what that's what box I'm standing on. Like, no, I am not dying my hair because of the chemicals and the time. And for me, that's enough reason. And plus, why would I want to dye this crown of righteousness? Like that back in the day, you used to, you know, identify me as a distinguished madam. So I'm just gonna embrace it and roll with it. And I want to just thank the Bible, Proverbs 16, 31, for reminding me of my crown of righteousness and embracing the gray. And I feel like I've been talking about it so much, maybe I should show it a little bit. Okay, hold up. I'll show you guys. I'll show you this gray hair. So it's like it is like worse in the middle, right? So that's why it's like really coming through. And I feel like it's been blending in nicely. Me and my hairstylists are like, okay, well, as this gets a little wild, we might have to like blend it a little bit so it doesn't look so stark. I mean, I get a lot of compliments on this crazy wild gray hair. And some people think that I, you know, pay to get this gray hair in there. And I've even been asked if it was tinsel. They're like, Ashley, do you put tinsel in your hair? And I'm like, no, I do not put gray tinsel in my hair because it's like kind of shiny when like the sun hits it. I'm like, absolutely not. No, I do not put gray tinsel in my hair. I took it offensively, but then I was like, wow, I think she actually really meant that as a compliment. I really do. She she said it was beautiful. And so I want to say thank you for that. And also thank you to all the people that when I was starting to get my gray hairs, and you get the like wild, unruly ones that pop out and are like just there, like out there, that like really are hard to tame. Like people come up to me and be like, oh my gosh, Ashley, look, you have a gray hair. I have like several instances where I was at a public event, like, you know, around my peers, around people, and people have like come up like behind me and been like pointing out my gray hair and been like, look at this, look. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, earned that. Thank you, Nevea and Nixon, my children, for probably giving me all those gray hairs. But I do think it's a natural part of aging. And I remember my dad had the same color hair as me. His is a little bit darker, is a little bit, his is, I would actually call his like black. And some people think my hair is black. I think it's more of like a dark brown, but he was gray too. But I don't remember exactly the age where he was completely gray. And, you know, I just love those gray vibes. I married a man, Danny, my husband, he was gray. He was beginning gray when I met him and he was 25. And I remember he would dye his hair. So he would, he had like all kinds of funky like highlights that he would put in his hair. One time it was like like looked like almost like leopard spots. And I was like, Dan, what are you doing? Like, I think your gray hair is so sexy. Can you stop dyeing it for me, please? And he's like, What? Like, you think this gray hair is sexy? And you know, it doesn't age me. I'm like, no, you are the silver fox. That's what we used to call his dad because he looked really good with his gray hair. And I was like, You are now his nickname has been adapted to Silver Bullet because he's super fast on a snowboard and he just moves fast regardless. But silver bullet, silver fox here nor there, he looks sexy as all could be. And I was like, you rock that gray hair, okay? You rock it because he looks darn good doing it. And so that kind of gave me permission to rock my gray hair too. Now on the flip side, I was I asked Danny like how he felt about my gray hair. Because of course I want to keep my man happy and make sure that he he thinks that I'm looking fly. And he was kind of like, Are you sure you don't want to dye it? And I think he knew just by like the look in my eyes. I'm like, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I don't, um no, I'm not dying it. And he like kind of knew to back off. And he's like, babe, you look great. You look beautiful and wonderful, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And I was like, thanks, honey. See, he knows better. We got we got him trained well to just agree and tell me I'm beautiful, even if you think otherwise, because it's my body and it's my time and it's my energy, and I am protecting it in this matter and honoring what feels right for me. And again, I am not putting anyone down who chooses to dye their hair. I just find it interesting the thought process behind of why we do things. And I'm just kind of giving you a sneak peek into what my thought process is and why I choose not to dye my hair. And I'm curious out there to see what your process is. And if you dye your hair, why is that? If you don't dye your hair, what's your thought process like? And let's compare notes. I find it so interesting about what other people, you know, what they think. So it's an interesting topic and kind of controversial to talk about. I feel like not enough people do acknowledge the gray hair and their reasoning why. Uh, recently I was at a fundraiser event and I noticed a lot of ladies that were embracing the gray hair. You're seeing it a lot more and more now. Or maybe it's kind of like when you buy the car, you see it everywhere. It might be that like now that like I'm fully committed to embracing the gray hair, you see it everywhere. And a lot of these women are like hair goals, like they're beautiful with their gray hair. Like their gray hair has like all kinds of layers and dimension, and it's just like still shiny and gorgeous. And you could just tell they're just like very attuned to and confident in their own skin. And I strive to be that as I progress here on this journey. But it's fun asking them. And some teep people said, you know, time, the chemicals, a big one was money. You know, people didn't want to waste their money. Dye is expensive, and especially to go to the stylist or the beautician to go get it done. So a lot of people do box dyes at home. But even then, they they said they were very expensive. I feel like everyone just has their own reasoning, and I'm curious to know what it is. So go ahead, drop it in the comments, let me know, or you know, hit me up and maybe we could further this conversation. If I'm missing something, I'd love to be able to hear any feedback or commentary. All of it is welcome because that is why we're here to engage with each other. How much fun! So, yeah, tell me about your journey, okay? It's also interesting to see like who's watching and like the like who's tuning in and listening. And a lot of females out there that are my same age and are going through the same thing. So I'm just curious as to to what your journey is like. I'm here for it. I want to hear all about it. Extra, extra. Let's go. So, this crown of splendor attained in the way of righteousness is a whole vibe, and it kind of brings on to self-care and what that looks like, talking about money and time and chemicals. And I just feel so called to touch on a little bit of self-care and how we're taking care of ourselves. And that is a serious question. Like, I want to know how are you taking care of yourself? Can you think of five things that you do daily that make you feel really good? I just I am becoming the queen of self-care. And I feel like self-care is kind of a new notion. Like, people are like, what is self-care? Is it selfish? Are we supposed to be taking concern with ourself? Because I feel like, especially when you're a mother out there, you know, or a business professional, like you pour so much of yourself and your children, you pour so much of yourself into your work, you pour so much of yourself into your friends and your family that a lot of the times we run ourselves ragged and we forget about ourselves. And you cannot pour from an empty cup. Okay. That's why it is a constant effort to do the self-care and fill up your cup, muzzle top. So, what do you do for self-care? I'm really embracing the notion of becoming the queen of self-care. I will never look back and regret it. I'll never look back and be like, wow, I wish I didn't take such good care of myself. And a lot of sometimes people will misidentify this with high maintenance. And I don't feel that I am high maintenance, okay? I think the most high maintenance thing about me recently are these nails. Like and I absolutely love them. They are acrylics, and they're because of my daughter Nevea. She wanted the acrylic nails and brought me with on her journey. Of course, I had to fund it. And I'm like, wait a minute, why do you get to have all the fun with these nails? I'm gonna do it too. But I assure myself that it is just for winter in this season. And I'm just having fun. I'm rolling with it, I'm having fun with it. And I do, I don't feel like totally like myself with them because I rocked the natural nail for so long because there's no way these nails are lasting while I'm out there gardening this summer. And the dirt underneath them and just like the cleanliness of it all will just totally turn me off. So definitely taking them off in the springtime, but I'm enjoying them a lot in the winter time. And the ASMR is real. Like sometimes I'm like dirt dirt, like it's just a lot of fun. And like I feel more fancy when I have them on. Like my gestures and my movements are like, oh hey, like, I don't know. I'm just enjoying these nails for the moment. Plus, when I scratch my husband's back, he absolutely loves it, right? Or yeah, just and that like sensory aspect of it has been a thumbs up. But honestly, I had to be reminded that these things are not tools. Like I was trying to like open boxes and like open things or like even scrape things off with them, and then that's how I can get it, fall down the trap of ruining the nails. And then I had a moment where I actually broke a nail, and I was like, oh no, I broke a nail. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm that girl. I was like, how did I get here? I had to do some serious, like come to Jesus moments of like, what am I doing? For how long am I doing this? Is this really my true authentic self? Am I living my truth? I went down the rabbit hole of like, what's going on? I am that girl right now. I am that girl right now. I had to go get that nail fixed. There ain't no way I was going to Cancun with a busted nail like that. No, no. And then I like went through the process of like, should I just take them all off? Is this it? Is it done for? Because I just like it was kind of cringy, even saying, like, I'm out a nail, because so much connotation just comes up with that. But I did actually go and get the nail fixed. And the guy that I went to to go fix the nail, I'm sorry, hanging in here with me. He actually took a shortcut. And I could tell he tried like building up the nail with like the acrylic powder that they use. And he tried to like, and he and he got it. It still looked janky. I was like, what is this, sir? But I was in a hurry and I didn't have time. I'm like, okay, this is gonna last, right? He's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, this is gonna last. But you could tell he was just like taking a shortcut, right? Like, that's not how he was supposed to fix the nail. And go figure, the very next day that thing just broke right on off and looked janky as ever again. So now I'm like, oh great, like now I gotta take even more time to go fix this darn nail again. What the hey? Okay, let's go. So I went to a different place. Well, I tried to go back to that place, and I was gonna be like, bro, what happened here? Like, you did me dirty. Like this nail is looking pretty janky here. But turns out he was gone for the day. He was done. And the guy that was there that told me that he was gone, he's like, I can't do nails. I'm like, you're you're we're we're at a nail spa. Like, you you can't you can't fix this nail? And he's like, Nope, nope, can't do it. Come back, come back tomorrow. And I was like, okay, I don't have time tomorrow, sir. Okay, like this is an inconvenience for me. So I was like, okay, we'll do things, have a great day. And I took my little happy buns up to the nail spot across the street where the guy actually did it proper by taking off that the whole like fake nail part of it all and like starting from scratch and having to do it. Thank goodness I had a French tip on so he was able to easily match what was already on my other nails. And he actually gave me a card because I feel like he knew that the way that guy fixed it was janky. And he's like, when you need a filler, your next set, you come to me. And I'm like, maybe I will. And I and I will, because he actually took the time to fix it proper. And kudos to him. Anyways, wow, that was a digression of the nail journey. But yeah, I feel like this is feeling a little high maintenance for me and my normal typical self. It's kind of deviating from the norm, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. This was actually my Valentine's Day nails, and he put a heart on there for me, and I just absolutely love it. Every time I look at him, I smile. I'm like, yay, this is so not me, but I really like it. It makes me feel pretty and witty. And who else does something from just because it makes them feel good? That is all a part of self-care. Yes. But going back to the notion of self-care, it is not selfish, it is not new. We need to keep pouring into ourselves. So I feel like a routine is something that that you do every day consistently is really at the core of self-care and what makes us live our best radiant lives. If I could recommend, if you are open to the recommendation, of course, the piece of self-care that you can do for yourself that is absolutely free, takes no money to do it and no thought, and that's the goal of it, is meditate. And I know I've talked about meditation here on here a number of times. I just think it's so important. But I feel like when I go out into the wild and I talk to people, you know, just talking to my friends, my family, my loved ones, my coworkers about meditation, they look at me cross eye, they're like, meditation? Like, what? What is that? I don't know how to meditate. I don't know what that is. And I hear this all too often, but I just I love meditation. I'm a huge proponent of it. And I think that anyone can do it is so accessible, and it's really the best way to kind of get your mind right. And if you, you know, self-care is really all about mind, body, and spirit. So I feel like using this meditation to kind of align all three of those bodies, all three of those energies, you're really gonna be pouring from a full cup, which is the name of the game with when it comes to self-care. So a couple tips for meditation, just right off the top of my cuff. Don't overthink it. So I feel like when I first started my meditation journey, I actually went on to YouTube and Googled some guided meditations. And that really helped me do a jump start of getting my headspace where it needed to be. And there's a ton out there. Really, your vibe attracts the meditation that you need. And I just went on there and I would listen to it kind of like as background noise. So it was, I didn't know at that time that. Meditation necessarily meant to sit perfectly still with your eyes closed in the humana hummana fade the position. It was actually like it was while I was like getting ready, putting washing my face, brushing my teeth, putting my makeup on, brushing my hair, so on and so forth, that I was listening to this kind of guided meditation because I didn't honor that in myself, the stillness that I needed. I didn't realize that I needed it at that point. So that was like where my meditation journey started. And it kind of just progressed from there. Like that felt so good. So then I started like slowing down and actually sitting with that guided meditation and became more still while I was listening to it. So then I'm like, all right, like I just I really want to be able to retain this and and get my head where it needs to be. So I'm gonna actually sit down and listen to this. And so I started doing that. And sometimes it would only be I could only have time to listen or make that time for two minutes before the kids were running in the room and wanting breakfast. And or sometimes at night before I closed my eyes and actually went fully to sleep. But I stuck with it and I and that guided meditation on YouTube really, really helped. And it was kind of different each time. And it was kind of like speaking to what I was experiencing that day or what I needed. I mean, I mean there's millions of videos out there for you to choose from. So really what just choose what aligns. And you know what? If the the first video that you choose isn't speaking to your soul, then forget it. Move on to the next video or try it without a video. But they're out there to be used as a tool to kind of help you drop into the headspace of being able to clear your mind and not think about anything at all. And what you'll find is that you will be listening to this guided meditation. And what first you might only have two minutes, maybe you make out five minutes the next day. Maybe by the end of the month, you've fully meditated and listened to that video without interruption and letting your mind float and wander for 10 full minutes and then 30 minutes and then an hour, and then you're gonna be like a monk and meditate all day 24 hours a day. No, just kidding. But, you know, that's kind of just where the journey, just kind of lean into where it takes you and don't really have a ton of expectations with it. I feel like a lot of people have these expectations of what they think meditation is or what it should look like or what it should be, and really just scratch all of that. It's really just kind of taking that time for yourself to organize your thoughts and or or not organize your thoughts because you're, you know, not supposed to be thinking of anything. And a lot of times when the the voice comes over it, that's your ego talking, and that's your ego telling you that you should be doing this or you should be thinking of that. But really, like the spirit and divine just wants you to clear all that out so you can have a direct channel to source energy. For me, it is Jesus or God, but sometimes it's even my dad or uh other loved ones that is past, kind of like a higher power out there and a tool that really helps you drop into this meditation. And a lot of times these guided meditations online will walk you through some breath work series. And I know we've had some guests on here that is kind of gave us a little taste of what breath work could look like, but that somatic breathing, tapping into your body and the power of your breath will kind of help you drop into that meditative state where you're able to clear out any energy that's not serving you and make space for the energy that is gonna help you live your highest and best in. And by all means, like if you want to organize your to-do list in your head, if that's something that you need to put together before you're able to clear the space, do that. Um, if you want to think about how you should respond or react to a certain situation in your life, do that and do not be afraid to ask for help. So a lot of the times, if I'm struggling of getting into this space, I'll be like, Dear Lord Jesus, please help me. Please help me to listen to your voice, listen to your word, listen to what you want me to do here today. What how can I further your kingdom work? How can I help? What can I do? And sometimes the voice is really loud and clear of what he wants me to do that day. And then sometimes I don't know if it's my ego talking and I have to check it. I'm like, wait a minute, like, did Jesus shed his blood for this? Someone taught me this in church today. I'm gonna still read a little bit more about it. I don't think I can totally talk about it just yet. But he was trying to tell me a way to check the voice in my head and see if it really is coming from the divine or if it is coming from my ego. And so that's something I'm kind of tapping into and working through when I meditate. But being consistent with some kind of meditation of whatever it looks like every single day is muy, muy, muy, muy, muy importante. And I need you to do it almost every day. It's a concerted effort. For me, I love doing it in the morning, in the a.m. That's when I'm my freshest. That's when I wake up and I'm not always so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but by taking that time to calm my mind, it gives me the energy clearance to be able to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for my day. But I remember when mornings were kind of rushed and I wasn't making that effort. It's it's okay to do it in the night, too, before bed. I just found that I was really tired and it was kind of like I was dazing off and drifting to sleep, and maybe that's the point of your meditation. Maybe you just want to get a well-rested night's sleep, and that's all good too. Do that. I posted this week about you are a whole person and you have all the answers to heal yourself. And I really want people to tap into that intuition, and by meditating, you will be able to listen to your body, listen to your mind, listen to spirit, source, or divine, and figure it out is what it is that you need for the day.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

Because you gotta get what you need every day, all day.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

And it's different every single day. So just take it step by step, moment by moment, and get in the vortex. And meditation really helps you get there. So can you do it?

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Yes, you can. Si se puede, si se puede.

Guided Practice And Starting Small

Discernment, Ego, And Prayer

Girlfriend Getaway And Rest

Journaling And Active Meditation

Lightness, Energy, And Flow

Boundaries To Beat Burnout

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Oh, yeah, I love meditation. And I also love Spanish. And I don't know if Bad Bunny Super Bowl performance kind of like seguayed into this, or it was that I was just in Cancun with my girlfriends. But what an excellent form of self-care. And I loved the vacation with my girlfriends as a form of self-care. Yes, I mom guilted myself. I mom shamed me. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be leaving my children for five days. What are they gonna do without me? Are they gonna be able to survive? Thank goodness I have help at home, my husband, to be able to hold down the fort and hold down the ship. He didn't even have to call grandma to help. He did it all on his own. And I think that's so good for his relationship with the children, too, to kind of lean into that and get them that one-on-one time that's so needed. Because as mothers, we kind of just take over. But I put that aside at the mom guilt and the mom shame. I'm like, no, I'm with them the other 300 and some days of the year, right? Maybe not exactly 365, not 360, maybe not even 355, because my husband and I do like to take a vacation for just him and I for our own relationship maintenance. But I'm with them all the other days. And I know the days and the years go by so fast, but it is really important to take that time to fill up your cup. And what better way to do it than with your girlfriends? It was so good to be able to hang out with my friends and on this adult level, be able to have adult conversations, and they were meaningful, and also take full advantage of all the amenities on the resort from the water aerob aerobics to the yoga to the cooking classes to the hydro spa. We did it all. We did all the things and shamelessly we're like, and ate all the dessert. Oh my goodness, so much dessert, so much food. And we just said yes. We're like, you know, we're throwing it away, all of this. It's kind of nice to just be able to unplug. And I was super mindful of my phone consumption and making sure to be fully present with my friends when I was there with them. And I think we made some really lasting memories that we'll look back and cherish for a lifetime. And I absolutely loved it. Highly recommend going just anywhere outside of your normal surroundings and experience something new together. Because really, the laughs that we had, just the belly laughs and the laughing till we were crying, and just you can't put a price on that. I would have I would pay anything in the world to be able to do that, do that again with the girlfriends. And, you know, it was priceless, I think is what I'm trying to say. And I feel like they they feel the same way. And we're already like, where are we going next, your girls? Let's suit up and go. And it was, yeah, it was just very needed and all part of self-care. And don't let your guilt you into not going and taking those trips without your family, without your children, because it is so important because a ma can't pour from an empty cup. And what better way to go with some of your best girlfriends where you're all speaking the same language and you can be your true authentic self and do what you want, when you want, all you want to do, and that's just that. And I'm not apologizing for any of that either. So that was self-care in and of itself, spending time with friends. Absolutely loved it. Also, what I found myself doing on vacation was doing a little bit of journaling. And I feel like that is really important to actually put your paper, pen to paper, and write out what it is that you're feeling. So a lot of the times when I'm dropping into the meditation, I'll want to write, get out of it and write a thought down that I had or some like epiphany that came. I'm like, all right, I gotta write that down. And I try to resist the urge to do that while I'm in this deep thought, but definitely purging it all onto paper after I'm done with my meditation has been so satisfying. You just feel so good writing things down that were like the main key points because not only are you kind of getting it off your chest and out and you're putting it on a concrete piece of paper, but then you can reference it and you'll look back on it and be like, aha, yes, that's where I was at, or that's what I was thinking, and kind of can get back to that space of that all that good energy and that channeling that you're doing, and then reference that to kind of go off of and and keep on keeping on when you need a little encouragement or a little reminder of what it was that you're doing. And also, too, I guess what just came up for me was the meditation piece is that a lot of times right now I'm talking about stillness and sitting with yourself. But that doesn't go to mean to say that there isn't active meditation. I feel like a lot of times I was dancing on the beach when I was on vacation, and I felt like I was like in an active flow state of meditation. It just felt so pure and natural, and I wasn't thinking about my next move or what I was gonna say or do. I was just kind of in that flow state. I'll get that way a lot of times when I'm cooking or listening to music or even reading the Bibles. I don't want to put meditation into the, again, that's sitting still and having to like sit, stop, separate, and listen. But I do w wanna, you know, pay homage that there is active meditations and things that you love to do, and those epiphanies and and realizations can be drawn out from doing those things. You cannot put meditation into a box. I just think it's like the conscious effort of connecting with your higher self, which is ultimately the best self-care that I could think of that's free to do. And there's so many different ways to do it. You just really gotta kind of trust your intuition, listen to your inner voice, and figure out what works for you. And with this, this conscious knowing, you can heal yourself. Your body will talk to you, your mind will talk to you. Your the higher source, Jesus God, the divine, will talk to you. And all you have to do is ask for help. And in the Bible, I'll reference to it that you ask for wisdom and he will give it to you generously. So come to him, lay it all at his feet, and he will provide for you abundantly and with reverence, grace, and glory, and lots of mercy too. So anything that you need to get off your chest, leave it all out there in that when you're in that meditative flow state, and then you will be so surprised and amazed about what happens when you get out of this meditative state and how much smoother your day is gonna go. Of how people are gonna re- your energy field is just gonna be that much lighter and more vibrant, and people are just gonna draw to you, and doors are gonna open, and opportunities are gonna happen, and you're gonna create beautiful, amazing awesomeness. And I just can't wait for that to happen for you because it's so exciting when you do tap in and tune into this kind of energy that meditation can bring for you. So if there's something that you do while you're in meditation, please feel free to share that with me. I'm here for it. I would love to hear it, and I want to know more because I'm like in the learning process and phase of my life, and it's all about gathering the information. And I learn best is from other people. I am a big reader, so I learn a lot from what I read, but I am a doer as well. So I learn the best by interacting with other people. And so I'd love to be able to hear from you in that regard. Positive vibes only. Woot, woot. It's all love. All love. So I mean, it's not okay to be burnt out, right? I feel like we have this burnout epidemic, and we are the most connected with all of our technology and social media, yet we are the most exhausted generation. And look, I was there. I remember just running myself ragged. I just was like on the go mode. I'm like, go, go, go. I gotta be all the things to all the people all the time. And I've left myself feeling just completely exhausted and burnt out. And I realized by our human design, by my very nature, by the very fabric in which I'm woven, is that I need to take time to rest. And I'm getting really good at saying no to the things that don't serve my highest and best. And I channel my inner Sarah Schaefer, and I'm gonna swear here on this, but I gotta do it because she taught me, and I feel like I love people's reactions when I say this and when I share this with them because what she shared with me was so profound, and I'll take it with me for the rest of my life. And here it is. If it's not a fuck yes, then it's a hell no. Let me say that one more time for the people in the back. If it's not a fuck yeah, then it's a hell no, okay? And if you live like that and kind of making decisions and listening to your intuition of different things that are coming your way, if you really like embrace that, you are really gonna be in alignment with what is your highest and best for you. So I kind of just kind of play on those feelings and those vibes when I make my decisions, so I don't burn myself out completely and become totally exhausted, irritable, and unmanageable. And I don't want to take that out on my children. I feel like the kids are all like really watching and in learning. And it really stinks that when you see parents that are running themselves ragged and how that affects their families. And it just kind of sucks. Sucks for everybody when you can't live your best life because you're saying yes to all the things when you're really not listening to what you need to say yes for yourself. So taking this time is super, super important. Another thing for self-care, you know, I meditate, I journal. I think it's so, so important to read the Bible. You guys, it it helps me drop into my meditative state like no other. I feel like it's all positive vibes in here, especially in the New Testament. And the Old Testament gets a little rough and rugged, but after Jesus came, that man, he is just so forgiving, has so much grace and so much peace. And that's what we all want. It's just to love like Jesus, to be like Jesus. So reading his good word and strengthening my spiritual relationship with him in this Bible has been so rewarding on so many levels. And each time the Bible just speaks to me in a different way. So I actually like to start out my meditations by reading the Bible. It used to be starting out by like finding that YouTube video that's really like setting my soul on fire, but now it is reading the Bible. And I just, I just love it because he has a divine way of giving you exactly what you need when you need it. And I have a lot of trust in that. And so I feel like I made the commitment to myself to read at least one passage a day. And I'm finding myself reading two passages a day, maybe even three passages a day, sometimes even five passages a day. I'm not counting, but like, you know, just getting deeper and deeper into his word and excited to strengthen that relationship with God because it strengthens my spiritual journey and which that I can keep my channel, my crown chakra open to deliver these messages and hear these messages and know what's really his word and his will for me, and then just trusting, trusting in that and having a lot of faith that I'm exactly where I need to be, and everything is going according to plan. Indeed. And it's such a beautiful thing. So I don't want to get burned out. I don't want you to get burned out. Don't do it. Um, there's a ton of other different things for self-care, and remembering that it's not about self-indul indulgence, it's actually about stewardship. We are just jars of clay holding a treasure from 2 Corinthians 4 7. And if the jar breaks, the treasure is hard to carry. Don't break the jaw. And it's kind of crazy when you think talking about the Bible and Jesus and using that as a tool for your meditation, how many times Jesus himself withdrew from the crowds, withdrew from the spaces to pray and rest, just like in Luke 5.16. He didn't just give, he replenished. And he knew the importance of kind of withdrew and going within to be able to give outwardly. And so I feel like you can see it right in his holy word how important it is for this self-care notion. And honestly, your body is a temple and we need to treat it as such, moving from body image to body function. And I feel like honestly, sleep as faith is such a good part of self-care. Make sure you are getting enough rest, allowing yourself enough rest. And maybe meditating will help you get there. I know hemp really helps as well. I'm just putting that plug in for DNA hemp because it's got the goods that were given to God to support your endocannabinoid system, which brings out balance and more peace and use that before bed, just saying. But, anyways, being able to sleep is an act of trust that God is in control of the world while your eyes are closed. It's kind of wild to think, right? Hey, even when I'm sleeping, God is working and He is working on the outside forces instead of and especially intrinsically too, and helping me heal myself by giving it the proper rest that I need. And so I feel like so many times people are like, put sleep on the back burner, and it's like, wait a minute, y'all, we're supposed to be getting eight hours of sleep. Now, typically I'm only getting six to seven. I miss the days where I was getting eight. My kids are getting 10. I'm making sure of it. I'm making sure that we're getting everything aligned where it needs to be so they are in bed to get 10 hours of sleep because their sweet brains need that time for rest. And so do you. So I feel like putting sleep as a priority on your self-care list is gonna change your world, change your life. We are not bat, okay? We're not vampires and we need our beauty sleep, okay? So make sure you prioritize that in your self-care list because Lord knows that we need to sleep. Also, you know, um, you can ask God to help you sleep too. Just don't think about that. And then when you do get a night's rest, make sure you wake up with a super grateful heart and thank him for your good night's rest. I feel like a lot of time we take sleep for granted and don't be that person. Acknowledge it, enjoy it, prioritize it. It's so, so necessary and so, so good. And what else do I have here? Mm-hmm. A lot of times, self-care, we we talked about withdrawing and kind of going within. And I just want to warn everyone of social media. I feel like a lot of times at mindless scrolling, people are like, this is my self-care. This is where I can like turn shot my brain off and just focus on everything else. But you know, social media can lead to comparison and it's the energy, the enemy of spiritual peace. So just know unfollowing things that don't lead to fruitfulness or shutting this off is not a bad idea. As a matter of fact, a lot of times they'll say, give yourself a good solid chunk of the day where you put the phone down and you're making a conscious effort not to look at your phone. People are addicted. I must even say that I myself am addicted to some degree, and I see it through my children too. And it's scary to think because their sweet little brains, they are addicted to that dopamine response of the notifications and whatnot. And so are we. I'm making a really conscious effort to not be on my phone, especially when I'm around my children and is setting out periods of time throughout the day. where I will go on my phone and honoring the times a day where I am not on my phone. And so I am still trying to still my mind and listen to that voice and stop the temptation and the urge because that is just the enemy trying to do its work. It's a no. No, not today, devil. I will not my good and precious time where I could be out here creating and co-creating with my fellow partners while I'm on my phone. It's just so sad to go out in social environments and see like people on their phones while they're sitting across from their their best friends with people on their phones while they're I mean I work at the bar, Cheryl's Club, people on their phones at the bar. Like I get it. Like check your phone. There's things happening. There's important things going on. But I think it's really missing that connection, that face-to-face connection with people. And I just hope that the phone doesn't replace that. So just kind of being aware of that social, that social awareness is really important and your surroundings and when is a good time and when it's not a good time. And kudos to the people that have to be on the computer for their job eight to 10 hours a day Lord be with you and strengthen you and give you the discernment and in time for yourself where you don't have to be on the screen. So that's kind of that's kind of wild to think that that's where society is going, but it is what it is. And I want to just let you know kind of wrapping up here that self-care is not a destination. It's a journey. It's the journey with God. You're traveling with him it's love your neighbor as you love yourself, right? And you must actually take really good care of yourself. It's so necessary. So I'm just gonna wrap this up by saying a prayer together here if you want to join me you can fold your hands and bow your head or you know just just try to silence the noise and hear this prayer that dear God thank you so much for letting us hear these notions of self-care and giving us the permission to know that we our body is our temple and we need to care for ourselves and thank you for allowing us this beautiful body to be able to care for ourselves and other people around us. And and we know that you are with us before us in front of us and beside us every step of the way and that is so comforting to know that even though yesterday we might not have taken the best care of ourselves in this moment we can take the best care of ourselves and in the future we can take the best care of ourselves with your grace, mercy and peace. And it is just for today just in this moment that we can make these decisions to draw closer to you and your purpose and how you want us to carry out this big bold and beautiful life not apologizing for anything that has happened or anything that will happen but revering in what is happening and having this conscious awakening to your goodness and to your love and knowing that when we love ourselves we can love other people and especially love you. And in your sweet name may you bless us as we continue on this journey and give us the grace and peace that surpasses all understanding as we cast all of our worries and anxiety anxiety onto you Lord and know that we are perfect in your divine eyes and we are all just children of you God living loving and learning thank you for the opportunity to be able to do so and thank you for the different ways of self-care that has been put out there in the universe and may we pick and choose what is going to best serve you.

SPEAKER_00 47:53

In Jesus' name Amen