TSLP Season 4- Break Free From Stuck

🎙️ New Episode Alert: Break Free From Stuck with Polish Peter Kolat
Sometimes the greatest barrier to growth isn’t lack of potential, it’s staying trapped in the same mindset, patterns, and limitations.

In this episode of the Transformation Station Leadership Podcast, I sit down with Polish Peter Kolat to discuss how leaders and individuals can break free from stagnation and move forward with clarity, confidence, and purpose. Growth begins the moment leaders stop waiting for the perfect moment and start moving with intention.

Learn more about Polish Peter Kolat:
Website: https://polishpeter.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HiddenMasteryMindshifts
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/peterkolat

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Until next time, stand tall, step bold, and own your transformation.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Many leaders believe that they're stuck. They believe that they're stuck because of external barriers like lack of opportunity or limited resources or difficult circumstances. But what if the real reason most people stay stuck is internal? What if unseen human drives are quietly shaping our decisions, our habits, and ultimately our leadership outcomes? Well, we're gonna talk about all of this today. Come on, let's get started. And joining me today is Peter Polish. Peter Polish, Peter Polak. He's a leader. He's a thinker who brings insight into what he calls the seven human drives. His work helps leaders understand why progress often feels harder than it should, and how awareness of those internal drives can unlock clarity, momentum, and purposeful action. Peter helps entrepreneurs and high achievers cut through the self-help noise, reconnect with their true identity, and build lives and businesses rooted in peace and purpose and personal freedom. I love those three Ps and beyond the mindset. He works, he grows purpose-driven companies, consults for equity, and invests in the coaching and personal development space. Absolutely honored and thrilled today to welcome Peter, Peter Collat. Thank you so much for joining us. Peter Collat, glad to have you here today.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Well, thank you. I don't know how I'm gonna follow this intro. Like what you do, your energy, your spirit, I don't know how I'm gonna follow this now. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

I love it. I've been looking forward to this conversation because I think that this is a conversation for leaders that's really important for us to have. And I can't think of a better guest than you to be here with today. So, Lino, you know, Peter, one of the things that as I look through your work that stood out to me is your perspective, your perspective that reminds us that growth is not always limited to circumstances, that many times it is often uh influenced by deeply rooted patterns of thinking and behavior. So I want to start off by asking you this question: the seven human drives. What are the seven human drives and and how do they influence the decisions that leaders make often without even realizing it?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Yeah, so that's a great question. And um, one of the reasons is that so originally this work was done with uh Tony Robbins and Chloe Madonna. I don't know if you ever heard of them, but they created something called six human drives. And now as I was looking through this particular methodology and the framework that they've developed, I've discovered that there's some missing elements that I think are really important. And it's not so much that something that I need, but something that drives me, drives me, moves me forward to get things done. You know, if you really think about this, every single human being on this earth, and I don't care if you're black, white, green, yellow, whatever, you wherever you come from, you have to meet those seven drives. And they come in at different levels, you know. So for one person, one of the drives could be really high, like uh the drive for certainty, drive for comfort, drive to feel like there is something that is your comfort zone, right? We've all heard about this idea of comfort zone, right? So different leaders have different levels of these things, and we go and about life to meet those drives, to kind of pull those drives for us. So we can use them for good, we can use them for bad. But uh, what ends up happening is we all have them different levels. So I'll go through them very quickly because we can just literally in this one particular conversation, we can spend an entire hour just talking about that. So, drive number one is drive for comfort, like I just mentioned, right? We all have some kind of drive for comfort. Now, for some people, it might mean that I need to know everything, how it's gonna go, when it's gonna go, what my calendar looks like, what is you know, like everything is down to a T. You know what I mean? When you go to their houses, every single thing's got its place, you know. I mean, there is nothing misplaced. Now, if you're looking to grow in life, that's gonna be very difficult for you to grow. So if someone who feels there is a lot of uncertainty with that drive is really high high for them, and there's things outside of them that are feeling like, whoa, what is happening? All of a sudden they feel like quote unquote stuck. You know what I mean? So that's number one. The drive number one. Number two is that drive for variety, the uncertainty, you know, the spice of life. Because think about it this way: if we knew everything, how it's gonna go, when it's gonna go, how it's gonna happen, pretty quickly life is gonna be what boring. Yeah, so we need some spice in life. Now, the way it shows up sometimes is we look at them as problems. We don't like problems, problems are just basically surprises in life that we didn't expect, that we didn't anticipate, right? Okay, now, for instance, one of my kids, I know one of his top drives is variety uncertainty. Because, for instance, when we went to Cedar Point, which is a uh amusement park in Ohio here in the United States, he went on every single ride, every single roller coaster until he puked, and then he went back on more. You know, that's his variety. He doesn't care when he does, but he just wants to do all kinds of different things. The next one is the drive for significance, feel like we matter, feel like we're up to something because if we don't feel like we're significant in life, we feel like there is something, you know, what's the life about? You know, so there is an importance for one leader. It might mean that the significance is I'm gonna be on a podcast and I'm gonna speak to people, I'm gonna impact their lives. For another leader, it might mean that I'm gonna write the book. For another one, it might be that I'm gonna start a business, right? But it's about looking good. A lot of it shows up. So now for some of these leaders, when things are happening in their life, when you know, let's say there's problems happening and it looks like they are the reason for the problem, now they feel like they have to defend themselves, and now all of a sudden they feel stuck per se, right? So again, it's an outside circumstance. So let's keep moving forward. Now, another uh fourth one is the drive for love and connection. Love and connection are together because some people are afraid of love and they're just settled for connection. So the way it looks like when if I don't know if you ever met someone who is constantly looking to connect with somebody, hang out with somebody. Sometimes we may look at them as they're needy, right? But if you just recognize there it's a connection piece, now they want to be connected. So that's number four. Number five is growth. I mentioned that a little bit at the beginning, but growth is really important because guess what? If we're not growing, what are we? We're dying, right? So we need to feel growing. So it might look like we're listening to podcasts, like this particular amazing podcast here, or some reading a book, or whatever it might be, right? The problem with growing, because sometimes what we do is we get so much into growth in one area of our life that we forget and ignore all other important areas of our life, like let's say your marriage or your kids or whatever it might be. Ask me how I know that, okay? And then number six is the um drive for contribution. I feel like we're giving back, like we are helping someone, like we are contributing to the humanity, whether it's to let's say nonprofits or just helping someone and a neighbor or whatever might be, right? And the last one that I feel like Tony didn't um really address, which I think is really important and drives a lot of people. And when you actually go and focus on that particular drive and you are driven by that one drive, what happens a lot of times is those other drives are not as important, and that drive is drive for faith, something bigger than us. Faith is that there's something bigger than us that's more impactful than us, more powerful than us. Because now when we have the faith, guess what? Certainty is not that big of a deal. Connection, uh, significance, uncertainty, variety, all kinds of different things like that kind of go on. So I know I went count like very quickly over these, but in every single one of them, it can be stuckness and it can also be a way to help you grow. So if you discover and you know which ones yours are top ones, like for me, it used to be that my top one was significance, and every single time I would, you know, go out there and do something in life, I was driven by that. And there's a good thing and a bad thing. So once you discover that, all of a sudden you know how you operate in life. Hope that makes sense. And if you have any questions, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Yeah, so I want to ask you this, right? As you look at the seven drives and you look at your experience of working with leaders, is there a drive or a driver to that many leaders seem to be challenged with?

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Well, so I think it's very personal. It's a great question, but I think it's very personal to the person. What I mean by that is as you grow in life, each drive, depending on the person, is higher than other ones, right? You typically get the top one that's for you. Like for me, it used to be significance. Now it's I'm driven more by fate, I think. You know, for you, it might be connection. So if it is, let's say, connection, that's the one that's gonna challenge you. It's helping you, but at the same time, it can be hindering you, depending on the circumstances in life. So it's very personal, I think.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

So let me ask you this question why is it then, and I want you to take us just a little bit deeper, because I think you started talking about it, but why is it that capable, intelligent, even highly motivated people, why do we still find ourselves feeling stuck or unable to move forward?

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Right. So that's a great question because here's the thing if you really think about this in life, as you go through life from a very young age, remember when you're eight, nine, ten years old, you were like a sponge, and you learned everything, you accept everything as basically like that's just how it is, right? Right, and we created our what I call a story, and that story is created based on all the different beliefs that we have, the values that we created, and all kinds of different things, and becomes our story, right? So now when we are going through life, because of that story, we formulate this idea that that's who I am. This is Peter, kind of a thing, right? Now, what ends up happening is when things are going well according to that story, then we are flowing, we're doing fine in life, things are working well. Now, if something happens where it actually goes and against that, let's say the beliefs, or goes against the values, or goes against that story, or creates a real hindrance in a story, all of a sudden we call it stuckness. I'll give you an example. So in 2011, I ended up getting divorced, and it wasn't something I was expecting, but in retrospect looking at it, there was a two sides of the table, and you know, I was as much of a fault as anybody in this particular conversation. For the next two years, I went into what I call optimistic depression. And I don't know if you ever heard that kind of an expression, but that's what I went through. Now, in that space for the next two years, I was quote unquote stuck. One of the reasons why that was happening because I kept asking myself the question, why is this happening to me? What did I do? Right? It's happening to me, right? And that was from coming from my beliefs and then the story that I've created over my life, and I couldn't move, sort of speak, right? I was trying to, you know, get out of this what I call stinking thinking, but nothing was happening. Now, at one point, I've learned that maybe it's not happening to me, that life is happening for me. And then I started looking from a different perspective, shifting that belief system, that story that everything is happening for me, the good, the bad, and the ugly. All of a sudden I have a different opportunity to make decisions, right? Because if everything is happening for me, then there's lessons that I can learn from that. Yes. What are the lessons? And now I start learning new things and I start to be able to take action.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Does that make sense? Absolutely. Yeah, I love this 1000%. So here at Transformation Station, we always give our listeners and viewers an opportunity to pause and reflect because we want to make sure that we're taking it in. So, leaders, what's resonating with you right now from what Peter is sharing? I know that there is a lot that's resonating with you because he's speaking our language, he's talking exactly about the journey and the experience that we are on. Peter, I want to ask you this question. How can we as leaders begin to recognize when one of these human drives is limiting our growth instead of supporting it?

SPEAKER_01 13:40

That's a good question. And I think it's being aware. You know what I mean? Being aware, like being present in a moment. Because I think, think about it this way: as we go throughout the days, majority of the time we're just running on our pilot, don't we? We just go around and do certain things and we don't actually pay attention to what's happening. But when we become aware, then all of a sudden we can start to discover that there's limiting me. So I'll give you an example. When I was married to my first wife, what I did not recognize is that one of my top drives was this significance. So every single time I was looking for her to make me feel good, make me feel like I'm the top of the world, you know, like I'm a great husband. And every single time she had some kind of a complaint, even if it was something minor, I felt like I was being attacked. So I had to defend, right? I had to put on this armor, I have to defend and deflect and make excuses, right? And guess what? Create more problems. So when I started to discover that, be aware of that conversation, now all of a sudden I started asking myself a question well, is she really saying there's something wrong with me, or she's just complaining about something is not working? And if I started to shift that reframe that conversation, I started like, you know what? She was complaining about this particular, nothing some specifically about me, but this problem. So let's now resolve it and let's create a different solution to it. And when we become aware, all of a sudden we're not running on our pilot. I think that's a big missing in today's society, especially here in the United States, because we're constantly go, go, go, go, go, and we're not present to what's going on in life.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

I love this. Here's a leadership principle that aligns with exactly what you just said. And actually, I think I oh here we go. Leadership principle. What drives us can also confine us, but awareness creates the freedom to choose differently. I love the way you reframed what you just shared with us. Man, that would save so many relationships, work relationships, family relationships, if we were to reframe as we're engaging. So let me ask you this question. What practical steps can a leader take to shift from reactive patterns, right, that may be driven by fear or comfort or habit? How can we shift from reactive into intentional action and forward momentum?

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Well, one of the things that I started doing long time ago, which I think it helped me, is spending time with myself. And I'm a Christian, so spending time with the Lord, right? So first thing in the morning when I give up, I have this quiet time. And that's one of those practical ways that has helped me becoming more present. Now, the reason for that is this if I'm sitting quiet and I have to think with myself, like I call this um in a way, sometimes staring at the wall time. Uh, there's been times where actually I stare at the wall, and what ends up happening, you start to become aware of what are the thoughts that are going through your head. And it teaches you to be with yourself, right? And not so much go, go, go. And what ends up happening when you go through that entire process, you learned a lot about yourself. And I think most people are afraid to just sit down and be quiet and not having this conversation because they're afraid of what might actually come out, right? In this head. So what ends up happening is that quiet time is so powerful, you know. I mean, so that's one practical reason, and the other thing is I do this with all my students and everybody that um you know come to my coaching program when it comes to being present. When you are having a conversation with someone, I want you to in the back of your head have this statement that after this person finishes talking, the first thing that's gonna come out of your head is what I heard you say was, and then you have to basically say what you heard them say, not to repeat like a parrot, but to just you know give like see what they were saying, try to look like listen to understand. Yes, you know what I mean. So that statement, what I heard you say was, you know that you will have to be in there listening and pay attention to them, because if you're not, then when you start saying what I heard you say was, and you're like, um right, uh so you know right away that you're gonna have to be able to be in there listening. So that is one of those statements that I think has helped a lot of my students because what ends up happening, what I heard you say was, and then you you know, and then you ask, like, did I hear you correctly? Did I hear what you were saying? Especially think about if you're married, that is a great way to have when it comes to conversation between husbands and wives and your kids.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

I love it 1000%. So, so talk to us just for a moment, you know, over the years as you have been developing this and you're teaching it, how have you seen this actually work in the lives of your students or leaders that you're you're connecting with, you're coaching?

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Yeah, it's a really good question, you know, and it happens, I think, over time. And the reason why I'm saying this is think about it this way we're not human doings, we're human beings, right? So, what does that imply? It implies that we have to we're always being in a certain way. So when you shift this framework, the way of thinking, you shift how you operate in life, how you do things. Like if your belief means that everything happens for me, then guess what? All of a sudden, when you're driving down the road, you don't get upset when someone cuts you off. When let's say someone is challenging you, like let's say you, for instance, let's say you lost a client. All of a sudden, you're like, Well, maybe this is happening for me, right? Maybe that door is closed in order for me to be able to open another door. So now all of a sudden you start to react differently, you talk differently, you show up differently in people's lives. When it's with a client, whether it's with a wife, whether it's a husband. I've seen marriages being restored. I've had, you know, one couple, for instance, that came into me, they were on the verge of divorce, and they basically had papers signed and everything, and just having those kinds of conversations and just looking from the perspective, what I heard you say was all of a sudden the couple started hearing themselves differently, and they're like, hmm, maybe they're not so bad, and then started shifting, and before you know it, they reconciled and have their marriage restored. You know, if I've seen companies grow, uh, clientele being coming into their business. So I can I had one student, for instance, that she worked with this particular framework, and she had like when she came into machine, her left hand was paralyzed, and she woke up one day and was just paralyzed. As we started working together, all of a sudden, a lot of the tension, the stress, the forgiveness went away, and uh, and it started regaining you know, strength in her arm. So it's some crazy things that happen.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

Yeah, that almost reminds me of uh the book, The Body Keeps the Score. You know, as you talk into this, you don't realize, you know, how the the um the nervous system and the stress and all that, how it really impacts us. So I have two final questions I want to ask you. This first one here, how does understanding these human drives, because now I'm gonna ask you to focus and talk to leaders specifically, how does understanding these human drives change the way we as leaders influence culture, performance, and the development of our teams?

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Great question. So let's say you are a business owner, you have employees, right? You want to make sure that you in some way influence, persuade, and create a relationship, powerful relationship with these employees to be able to have them to their job. So if you understand those seven human drives and then you start looking and understanding what is The top drive for one of your employees, and let's say you discover that is one of the top drives is connection, then guess what? Having them go and do work by themselves in the office, separated from everybody else, is probably not a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

So you're gonna put them with a team, you're gonna create some kind of a project for them that involves other people because connection is really important for them. And guess what? By doing that, they're gonna feel more empowered, they're gonna love the job more because it feels like it's that's just how I love doing stuff. And now you'll be able to go and uh have a much more impactful company. Same thing when it comes to persuasion, like when you're looking from the perspective of having a conversation with a boss or a leader or whatever it might be, and you understand that it's a significant, make that person feel significant and look what happens, and you'll see what happens. So knowing about these drives and what the top drives are for the other people as you're talking with them completely changes how you communicate with them, and you end up communicating in much more effective way.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

This is like a masterclass today. I'm absolutely loving this. It's very cool.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Yeah, it's very way, it's a great framework. It changes like every single time I talk to somebody, I see like over their head there is those one of those top drives in a way.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

I love it, I love it. So, final, final question. I'm gonna ask you now to just talk to us as leaders because I know that there are leaders that are listening and watching. There are there's that large 99.5 percent that's saying Adrian and Peter got it. Yes, this makes sense, but I know that there's that 1% that's saying, Okay, okay, sounds good. I don't know if I can change. Talk to that leader right now that that is kind of on the fence when it comes to the human drives and how it can benefit as they lead in their own life and lead others.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Well, so great question. I will tell you this you change all the time, whether you realize it or not, you're constantly changing. You know, I wrote uh Jim Ron once said, You're now a tree, move, you know, and we all do this all the time, you know. The way you were today in the morning, now you've learned something new on this particular podcast, you were a different person. So when you start looking from the perspective, all of a sudden you start stop resisting the change, you know, you stop resisting the stuckness. And when it comes to those seven human drives, whether you want to deal with it or not, they're there. It's just how it is. So embrace and look from that perspective, how it can actually help you. Because when you're more aware of it, you can actually have much more effective conversations and relationships with people.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Love it, love it. Listen, Transformation Station, I know that you've enjoyed this. So, Peter, I know that there are people that want to keep in touch with you. What's the best way for us to be able to tap into the resources that you have? Tell us what resources do you have?

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah, so I wrote the book recently, it's called The Authentic Self-Rebirth. And I think it's the first book ever we can actually put your name on the top cover. So we like, you know, Peter's authentic self-rebirth and so forth. So if you want to pick up a copy, they're sold everywhere. The books are sold, or you can go to my website, myauthenticrebirth.com. That's myauthenticrebirth.com. And I'm paying for the copy of the book. All you just gotta pay, just some shipping and handling fee. Um, and if you want to see some of the little clips and videos, I have a channel on Instagram called Authentic Self-Rebirth. I share a lot of these kinds of 90-second real tips that can help you, whether you're a leader or well, you're a leader all the time, everywhere. So would love to see and connect with me and shoot me a message. Then I can have a conversation with you.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Love this. All right, Transformation Station. You see the link here on the screen. It's also in the description box. We're going to invite you, as we always do, to support our guest, support Peter today. Go forward and click on that link, get his book, tap into the resources, watch the clips, and also send him a private message. Let him know that you saw or you heard this episode. Share with Peter what resonated with you and ask questions because he is a wealth of knowledge. Peter, thank you so much. It has been absolutely phenomenal having you with us today here on Transformation Station.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

Absolutely. All right, well, there you have it. Today's conversation reminded us that leadership transformation begins on the inside. When we understand what drives us, we, you and I leaders, we gain the power to lead ourselves more effectively and create lasting change in our lives and organizations. We thank Peter for helping us to see that being stuck is not a permanent condition. It's often a sign that awareness and intentional change is needed. Now, listen, I know this episode resonated with you. So be sure to subscribe to Transformation Station Leadership Podcast and share this conversation, this conversation, this conversation with another leader that you know who is ready to move forward and break free from limiting patterns. So until next time, stay aware, stay intentional, and keep on leading with clarity.