Redefining Wealth: An Exhale Every Black Woman Needs

Success isn't just about what you're building—it's about whether you get to experience peace while building it. After the stress of tax season, it's time for an honest conversation about mental health, support, wealth, and the pivots that shape our entrepreneurial journeys.

In this EmpowerHER Financial Table discussion, Linette Cottrell welcomes back Rhonda, Monique, and Nikki for a powerful exhale session designed to encourage, empower, and remind Black women entrepreneurs that thriving in business starts with taking care of themselves.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How to protect your peace while growing a business 
• Why mental health is a critical part of entrepreneurial success 
• What it means to redefine wealth beyond money and revenue 
• The importance of community, support, and not doing it all alone 
• How life's pivots shape us as women and business owners 

👉 Follow the podcast and share it with a sister who needs this conversation. We’re on a mission to help Black women make it through the first five years in business — and thrive far beyond them.

#BlackWomenEntrepreneurs #WomenInBusiness #BlackWomenInBusiness #EntrepreneurMindset #MentalHealthMatters #BusinessSuccess #FinancialWellness #WealthBuilding #WomenAndMoney #EntrepreneurLife #SmallBusinessOwner #ProtectYourPeace #BusinessGrowth #WomenSupportingWomen #BlackExcellence #EmpowerHERPodcast #LeadershipDevelopment #MindsetShift #PurposeDrivenBusiness #FinancialFreedom

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hello and welcome back to the Empower Her Business Podcast. I'm your host, Lynette Cottrell, founder of Empower Her Bookkeeping and Advisory, where I support women in building businesses, they don't just generate revenue, but actually support the life they're creating. I guide female founders with compassionate accounting to eliminate guilt, shame, and avoidance around their finances and embrace relief. This is my calling. In this space, the Empower Her Business Podcast, is dedicated to bringing expert advice, resources, solutions, and support to Black women founders who were bold enough and brave enough to step into this business journey. So welcome to another episode of our financial roundtable. You know, in the past we've dedicated this space and this time to talk about numbers, revenue, profit, taxes, and strategy. But behind every number, behind every business is a woman. A woman holding a vision, responsibility, growth, and sometimes a weight that isn't always seen. So today we're stepping into this space differently and taking you beyond the numbers. This is our exhale session of the financial roundtable. So our fabulous superstars that you are so familiar with by now, Rhonda, Nikki, and Monique are going to empower us to exhale today. We will be talking about mental health, protecting your peace, being supported, redefining what wealth really means and the pivots that shape who we become, not just as business owners, but as women. Because success isn't just about what you build, it's about whether you get to experience peace while building it. So these incredible women, each accomplished in their own right, are bringing honesty, wisdom, and lived experience into this space. Collectively, we decided that we all need a break. We need an exhale session after tax season, and it's not really over. So, audience, we're delighted to have you here with us today. And my hope for this exhale session is that you hear something that feels familiar, something that reminds you that you're not alone, and something that gives you permission to define success in a way that truly honors who you are. So let's take a breath and step into this conversation. Ladies, welcome. So let's start with this for each of you. In one sentence, who are you outside of what you do? And I'll start with you, Rhonda. Who are you outside of the work that you do?

SPEAKER_04 3:24

I'm a woman that loves life. That is my one sentence.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

I love that. And I love those colors you have on. I love those flowers. Oh, thank you. It gives me life. Now we go to Nikki. Nikki, who are you outside of what you do?

SPEAKER_02 3:44

I'm a woman of faith, wife and mother, and someone who values peace, grow and move a meaningful connection. That is me.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Love that. Love that. Monique, who are you outside of what you do?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Honestly, I could take Nikki's words and just repeat it verbatim. Everything she just said. That's that is as well.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

Wonderful, wonderful. So I have a question for you guys. Um, as a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? And is it in any way related to what you're doing now? And you know, we have uh uh I don't know about you guys, but I know I went through like iterations of what I wanted to be when I grew up. So I would like for you guys to share with the audience a little about what you wanted to be when you grew up. Rhonda, I start with you.

SPEAKER_04 4:44

So you know what's funny is I can't say that I wanted to be an accountant when I was younger, but I always loved numbers. So when I was a kid, my dad would, you know, whatever reason he needed to go to the office supply store, I always wanted to go. And not because, you know, you know, just wanted to pick up office supplies, but I like I loved playing with the calculators and the cash register. Of all things, it's so funny. But, you know, I didn't realize until later on in life that okay, that's showing your pequenity to want to work with work with numbers and specifically money around it. I mean, I always enjoyed playing with that kind of stuff. I didn't know I wanted to be an accountant until late high school years when I took a class. But but yeah, that's where it started.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Oh, wonderful! I love that story. How about you, Nikki? What did you want to be when you grew up?

SPEAKER_02 5:42

I wanted to be a lawyer. Ah but the funny thing was that um I will always give advice to my dad regarding his financing because it had a consortium company.

SPEAKER_05 5:56

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

So I will always give him advice. Say, oh, you don't have to do this, you have to do this way, you know. And one day my mother told me, I don't think you're gonna be a lawyer. I'm seeing you as an accountant. Yeah, so and I was really mad that day, and I said, No, I want to be a lawyer because I want to, you know, I want to protect women, I want to do this, and she was like, nope, I'm not seeing you like that. And finally, she was right. So when I reached, I when I graduated from high school, for some reason I decided to be an accountant.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

For some reason, huh? Just out the blue, huh?

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Yes, out of blue, I decided. Yeah, she was right. So I I you know I like numbers, I like to give advice, yes, and it goes hand in hand, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Nice Monique, what about you? What did you want to be when you grew up?

SPEAKER_01 7:01

When I was growing up, I wanted to be the boss, it didn't matter, it didn't matter over what over I have pictures of myself as a little girl, and I'm just looking like because I said so.

unknown 7:17

Right?

SPEAKER_01 7:18

And it has truly tracked with me throughout life. Like, you know, there are some people that just innately have leadership qualities. I cannot sit in a room and like sit in the back and be quiet. Like it's just I'm gonna see something, I have to say something, and over time I've tried to pull back, but that whole I want to be the boss, it just it just takes over.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

I love that. I love that. Awesome, awesome. Okay, next we're gonna talk a little bit about a little more about Beyond the Work. So, what is something people would be surprised to learn about you beyond your professional role? Nikki, I'll start with you this time.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

So I would say that beyond what I do, my work, um I like quiet um environment. And I would say I like to be around with my kids and you know, um I like reading, so that is why I really like to read, you know, and keep thinking about, you know, what to do next.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Got it, got it. You're a reader and you like your peace and quiet. What about you, Rhonda? What is something people would be surprised to learn about you?

SPEAKER_04 8:54

Surprised to learn about people who didn't, who don't know me outside of work. Um, I used to be a boot camp instructor um for some time. I mean, that was not my official profession, but outside of working, then that was where I was going in the evenings. Like it, it's time for us to work, it's time for us to work out. Um, and I did it for years, I loved it. Um, but now I spend most of my free time. If I'm gonna be working out, I love step class. It is my absolute, hey, nothing's gonna get in the way of this. Here's where we're going, this is what we're doing. I feel like it's a good brain activity, but it's almost always fun. You always bring on the music, bring out my step, bring out my friends, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Nice, nice. What about you, Monique? What's something people would be surprised to learn about you?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Uh, I don't know. I don't know if it's a surprise, but um I don't think people realize how huge um my spiritual life is. Like it is um it's something that even as I run my business, like that's the foundation of it. So um it it plays a like when I when I'm dealing with clients, the decisions that I make, there is just such this huge role where I'm I'm going to God about everything. I'm going to God about you. I'm going to God about you know my next decision. And so it is a huge part of my life that I don't um speak about all the time. I mean it it is a conversation that ends up coming up. And I noticed and realized even within my business with my clients, and especially a lot of my female clients, when they do find out that piece, it's kind of like a sigh of relief, like, okay, I'm with the right person. You know, I don't bring it out at first, but it just it does come out as a part of me because it is it it's another piece.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Got it. All right, wonderful, wonderful, beautiful. All right, Rhonda. This one goes to you. What does a day that feels peaceful and aligned look like for you now?

SPEAKER_04 11:17

Peaceful and aligned day starting out on the right foot. Right. I I usually my calendar doesn't open up until about 10 a.m. So before that time, I usually get up about 6:30 or so. But this is my my time of quiet, my time of peace, where I'm getting up, I'm reading. I have whatever devotional is in that I'm on at the particular moment. I do that. I've been on this challenge lately of doing my push-ups after when I get out of the bed, it's time to do my push-ups. However many we're getting to. But that's our day is is getting started out. Um, if it's nice outside, I like to go and take a walk and then start to ease into the day. But if I don't have time to myself before we get started, I don't I don't want to think about work until, you know, until it's a good, until I have gotten past all of the things that I wanted to do for me before we get into that. So that's uh that's what a peaceful day looks like for me. It starts outright.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Right. Now, have you always started your days like that?

SPEAKER_04 12:19

Not always. The older I get, the more and more I put priority on that, just because I realize how important it is and how easy it is for people to kind of take away your time with whatever their priorities are. I decided, you know, I gotta focus on what's going to be best for me and my mo my growth and my development rather than putting everything else in front of in front of that. Like there's a time and place for taking care of everybody else, but I can't pour from an empty glass. If I don't take care of myself, I cannot take care of anyone else.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

I love that, I love that. Wonderful, wonderful. What about you, Nikki? What does a day that feels peaceful and aligned look like for you?

SPEAKER_02 13:05

When I'm not rushing and when I'm clear in my mind and I'm grounded with faith, and also when I'm I have my family present with me. So yeah, so so that is how I recall my day um peaceful because I'm not moving, I'm not under pressing.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Got it, got it. So you're not rushing and you're spending quality time with your family. Yeah, that sounds peaceful. What about you, Monique?

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Um, a peaceful day for me is getting up and having that cup of coffee and not accepting phone calls. Everybody else's, you know, problems and issues, and when I have a quiet day of phone calls, that in and of itself is peaceful. I will accept two calls outside of the home because my husband and my son's here, but my two girls, they're in different, you know, states right now. So I get their calls and that puts me at peace once I know they're good after that. If I don't hear from anybody else, I'm good. I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Got you. I love it. I love the way that you all um prioritize your teeth as you start your day. That's very important because a lot of times when we can jump into a day, I remember um when I was um in the phase of raising my kids, how I would just jump into the morning, right? There was no me time at the beginning of the day. That concept never even entered my mind. It was like, okay, what do I need to do for everybody else? And now I'm like you, Rhonda. I have, there's just a certain number of hours in the beginning of my day that's for me. It's for me to make sure that the way I step into the world, I step as a whole person. Like I'm not going out there and interacting with other people and I'm frazzled and I haven't centered and grounded myself. So I I love to hear that you guys are, you know, taking the time to make sure that you do that for you. And like you said, Monique, there are some days when the phone, this phone calls are not going to be answered. They'll be all right. I get to them later.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

You know, the other night I was scrolling uh through social media, and I don't know why Bruce Lee was um in my algorithm. Ah but he was, and he was being interviewed, and they asked him a question related to peace. Uh and I can't remember the way the question was phrased, but he said, Um you have to choose peace. And when he said that, I was like, absolutely like you have to choose, right? So when I do decline, like that is seriously me choosing peace. When we wake up and we choose to take that walk or whatever it is, it's a choice. We can either jump into the chaos or like Nikki said, I think it was Nikki that mentioned being slow, you know, into that day. Yeah. Well, that's a choice that we have to intentionally make.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Yeah, because the world's not gonna give you that peace. You have to create that peace for yourself. Absolutely. Yes, yes. All right, love that. So let's talk a little bit about mental health and pressure. As high achieving women, how has work impacted your mental and emotional well-being over time? And I want to start with you on this one.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Wow, if you had asked me this question two weeks ago about mental health, probably would have been on a ledge. Don't ask me nothing about mental health. But um, you know, over time, it's kind of like this roller coaster, it has been this roller coaster um thing because it depends on the phase in life. Um, when I was trying to work and I had young kids, well, that was just like, you know, again, I'm I'm on the edge, I'm at the edge of the cliff, ready to jump off. But as we just um talked about peace, right? And how yes, you have to choose it. And so for me, as a tax preparer and an accountant, I take spring break off with my kids, right? And and we do, we we will go somewhere. And yes, it is the worst time to take off because the clients are like, what are you doing taking you know a week off before the tax deadline? But no, I I need that pause. And because everyone else, there there are so many people that will come at the last minute, say, I need this done, I need this done. I make my cutoff March 31st because I'm not killing myself. I've learned I can't kill myself right up to that deadline. I do take that step back. Um, and so again, it's something that when when we see that we're going through these periods of yes, immense pressure, it's up to us to say, I need to pause. And I have learned that in life. Now, my kids are older, so it's easier for me because I feel like when you have like younger kids, it's hard to pause. Their schedules don't align with yours. But when I am, you know, today, I do have to intentionally pause because I I've sit my my eyes will be bloodshot red, it'll start twitching. I get issues in my jaw, it's it's a whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Like your body starts talking to you, right? It does, it's like if you won't you won't just automatically, you know, act right. I'm gonna send you some signals to help you figure out you need to change some things.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

All of the signals, exactly, and that's key too, because a lot of times we cannot listen. We can be like, oh, I'm just gonna do this one more thing. I got headache, but let me go ahead and get this done, right? I'm tired, but let me just push through and get this done. And then something breaks and you gotta rest, right? Your body forces you to rest. So, yeah, it's a lot better when we listen to those signals.

SPEAKER_05 19:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

What about you, Rhonda? How has um work impacted your mental health or emotional well-being over time? And has it changed over time?

SPEAKER_04 19:50

I feel like it definitely has changed over time. And the older I get and the more intentional I try to be about protecting my own peace and my own sanity, then it's just gotten better over time. I remember earlier in my career when I was still working for others and there was, it felt like there was a lot of stress, especially, you know, at that particular phase of my life, I was um a manager and I had people across the country. And you start thinking that anytime things go wrong, then it's a reflection on you. And I used to take a lot of that things personal and recognizing that, oh, you know, how much stress it was adding to my life unnecessarily. And then as I transitioned out of that role and then eventually out of the company completely and moved into my own working environment, I realized that I was taking some of those same habits and bringing them into working for myself.

SPEAKER_06 20:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:46

And, you know, it takes a while before you recognize, like, wait a minute, the stress that I'm that I'm experiencing, I brought it on myself.

SPEAKER_05 20:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:56

And what's funny is there was one day that I went to the gym and I was talking to one of my buddies there, and she was asking me about how the day was. And I said, well, you know, it's been, it's been a little, it was, it was a long day. And she knows that that I am self-employed. And she's like, well, sounds like you, you uh you brought all the these is this a stress of your own doing? And you know, she said it jokingly, but I realized I was like, you know, but you're so right. You're so right. Every bit of this is something I've I've established for myself. And to realize, like, hey, this is not, this is not the way that I need to function. And from really from that period on, just that random conversation with a friend, I said, okay, I gotta be more intentional about setting my own standards for what this looks like and how I'm gonna protect my own sanity, my own peace. And ever since that time, it has been so much better. You start realizing, like, no, I don't need to answer calls. I don't need to take quick cut note. If you want to be on my schedule, you you'd plan it. You book time. This is the dedicated time that you have to speak with me. You're not gonna throw off my schedule because. Hey, I got an emergency right now. That's not my problem. I just started realizing that that is okay, Rhonda. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Isn't it amazing the habits that we carry over into our entrepreneur journey that it it really takes something to make us look at it, right? Like you said, for you it was that conversation. But it's not a natural process that we move from being an employee to being an entrepreneur, and then we just naturally change everything. We usually either keep the same schedule or even work more hours, right? Like we get up earlier, we work later, right? And there's there's like no line between, oh, I need to take a lunch break now, or I need to stop and sit down and eat dinner away from my computer. So it takes it's it really is a learning process. And and I say it's one of those, I think there's a lot of nuances to being an entrepreneur that are not spoken about. So when you when you start being an entrepreneur, there's a lot you have to learn on your own, right? Because they're not spoken, no one says you you get to set your own schedule. Now you can set your schedule for the person you are. Like if you're a morning person, you can set your schedule that you do your work in the morning. If you're an evening person, you can set your schedule to do your work in the evening because you couldn't do that as employee, right? So there are things like that that I'm with you around. You have to learn that, okay, wait a minute. I am in control of this, so let me make some changes. Right. So, Mickey, um, can you share something you've learned about protecting your peace? Have has there has that been something that you had to work on or situations that made you realize, okay, it's time for me to do something differently to protect my peace?

SPEAKER_02 24:03

I always say that what um I learned from my first job. My first job was very tough because um I worked uh in the bank, the financial institute, and we have different we do not have different software for um for the accounting or and the bank transaction, the bank activity. So we have only one software, so everything is so true. Um so we have some moments that we have to you know sleep at work. Oh wow, yes, to get yes, yes, to to close the year, yes, yes, um, because it was a process, right? So we can close if we have to do some transaction, the back date. You know, we cannot do any backday when the bank is open, when the activity is flowing. Uh we have to wait for the day to be closed before we open the system to do some adjustments, and you know that was that is how we would, you know, maybe stay there for two days, three days, and that is where I learned how to drink coffee. I took a lot of coffee, so when I leave that job, the first thing I want, the first thing I needed to do was to adjust what uh I was like first, I won't work anymore in the in the in the financial exit for the peace of mind. I say that one is done. Yeah, the second thing that I have I have to adjust was the the time management. So I decided to have to set up my time. I said, okay, if the work is for eight for eight to five, I have to do everything that will happen between those days between those times. I know that I have my lunch time and everything, so I learned to manage that, and the best way I learned to manage my time between those was to make a list. So I start with the list of the stuff that I have to do for the day. When it's done, it's done. If there's something that comes, like we sometimes we have urgency, so I will I will know how to balance between those, but after five, I'm done. No, we my weekend is for my family, yeah. Yeah, so that is how I learned was I think it was the best way, was the best thing that I have implemented for myself, right? And when I started being on my own, I continued that as well. And uh my customer know Nikki worked from eight to five. After five, she's not with you, yeah. And then the weekend, she's not with you, yeah. And I make my so I make sure that everything is done on time, yeah, so I don't have to do any overtime.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Yes, love it, setting those boundaries around the time. Oh, I I just I can't imagine having to sleep at work, you know, having to be there so late that you have to sleep there, then get up and keep working because the system was so connected to everything. But yeah, I can see I can see how that would work. I remember working in uh my first um when I first started in accounting, my first job was working for a CPA firm. And I worked for the CPA firm for one year and then I got out. That's what I call it. I got out because in my experience, they kind of wanted to own your life. It was kind of like they call it paying your dues, and paying your dues was you're available whenever we need you to meet whatever deadline. You didn't have a weekend, right? That was like that was like you didn't have a weekend, you didn't have a nighttime, right? It was kind of like whatever needs to be done within whatever time frame we've promised this client, this audit would be completed. That's when it's need to be, that's the timeline needs to be completed in. So you you weren't allowed to say, Well, I'm tired, I need to go home. Uh-uh-uh. I don't want to come in on the weekend. We have deadline, so we need everybody to come in and get this done. I was like, you know what? This is not the life for me. I I can't see myself ever enjoying this. So let me switch and do something else. So definitely figuring out things and setting those boundaries. Wonderful, wonderful. So I often talk to my clients about um, we're not meant to do this alone. And I find that it can be a struggle, especially for women, to ask for help or support when we need it, as opposed to um plowing through and getting things done. And especially I find it for black women because we've had to figure so much out with so little support, right? We don't we we've we've historically gotten so little support from the system that we've had to figure it out anyway, because it's like, okay, I'm not gonna stop here and just drop dead. So you're not gonna help me. Let me find another way to get this done. But that can turn into us being um not being able to see when we should ask for help when there is support available, and understanding that we're not meant to do it all along. So, as an entrepreneur and as a woman running your own business, what did you have to learn, or did you have an experience? Did you have to unlearn um how to ask for help, or was that something that came easily to you? Rhonda, I start with you.

SPEAKER_04 30:25

Um I feel like asking for help has been a piece that was already kind of incorporated into my career before I started my own business. Um, just recognizing, especially in leadership, that you can't you can't do everything. Matter of fact, you don't have time to do anything, everything, and you don't know how to do everything. You know, like that's why I'm like, I am I am here to both protect my team and help my team get whatever it is that they need to be successful. And having that experience, especially now that I look back upon my career before I started the business, like it helped me to get to a place where you recognize I don't have to go out and try to do all of the things. Like there are so many talented people out here in this world. Yeah. Tap into them. Tap into I'm good at what I'm good at, but there are a million other people that are excellent at other things. And yes, come on, come, come hither. Yeah. I have a place for you. And like the the the longer I am in business, the more I'm trying to figure out what are some of those things, what are the things that I'm doing that I don't need to be doing anymore? What are the things that I need to focus on that only I can do? And everything else, let me spend my time finding who's gonna be the person that can take this from me. In the last couple of years, I felt like it's been really great with finding great folks who can take a lot of things off of my plate. And we've added a few more people to my team that's just kind of made it wonderful. And you start realizing, like, okay, if you can get it to the point of even 70% of what I was doing, that's great.

SPEAKER_05 32:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:10

That's great. Take it and run with it. Right. It does not, it does not add any letting go of this idea because I I I like things to a certain standard, right? But trying to let those things go and figure out, okay, what what does the standard need to be? And not what does Rhonda think the standard needs to be, but what does the standard, you know, universally speaking, what does that need to be? And then let folks thrive where where they can and where they do, and taking some things off of me so that way I can focus on all right, here is just as Nikki was saying earlier, here's the time that I work. And in this amount of time, this is what I'm gonna get done because this is all I'm gonna focus on. Everything else, prepare the others.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

I love that. I love that. And you know, you brought us something that I never thought about being in management. And when you're in management, you get used to working with others and knowing that, you know, you delegate, right? So I think for people who step into the entrepreneur experience and they haven't been in management, so they never had the exercise or the experience with delegating, they've had a position that they had to do everything in that particular position. They kind of bring that energy into the entrepreneur journey. So I've never thought about that. That's hard. Yeah, I've never thought about that when I'm working with people that okay, it makes a difference if they've been in management or not, because they've had they've had the experience of it's okay to delegate. In fact, it's necessary to delegate because you cannot do it all. But if you've been used to working and doing it all, and especially when you're working at companies that don't hire to the correct capacity, like they have one person really doing the job of three people, and if one was you, and then you move into your own business, you tend to really do the same thing, exactly. Do the same thing, and then when you look back at that company you used to work for, they've hired three people now to replace you. You're like they couldn't hire not even one person, and now that I'm gone, they hired three people, right? And they already told me I wasn't doing enough. Wonderful, wonderful. So, um how has being in supported spaces with other women helped you feel supported in your business?

SPEAKER_01 34:43

I think as with any other type of space that you're in, um having a support group, it's super important, right? Um, what first comes to my mind is um the fact that besides the workspace, right, I'm married. And so we had started, a couple of us started a Bible study for married couples. And we were just like, okay, you know, let's do this and and and just you know, let's see how it goes. And we actually loved it. And so we finished the reading and we're like, no, we need to continue to do this. I mean, the men are saying yes, but you know, they might but they're still saying yes. But I and I just I say that to um because when you're in a space of like-minded individuals and you know, you're asking each other the the questions, and some of us have the experiment experience and some of us don't, you're learning from each other, learning from each other's mistakes and and the successes, um, it can only bring you to another level. And so I think that um if you can find that support group, it is the best thing that you can do for yourself, for your business. Um it's a must, is what I'll say.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

If you don't have that thing like that um within your community, and um, Nikki, so for the woman out there who hasn't um who's still in the phase where she thinks she has to do it all herself, and she hasn't really tapped into a support group or a circle of sisterhood or any type of group for support, um, what would be your your advice to her? Like what would be what would you say to her would be the benefit of tapping into that and looking into that?

SPEAKER_02 36:36

So for what I know, me personally, I always uh look for information. So, um because I know that information is very important. So if you are a woman and you need a support, you are not open up, maybe because you don't want to talk to someone else, I will I will say the best thing to do is to first find yourself, but know what you really need, and then and look and then you can do some research and learn a little more because more you do research, more you open your mind up, and more you are uh uh more you open your mind up, more you you feel comfortable to share what you feel it is. So I know that um that is why I would say, you know, we know we have a lot of support out there, and we don't want to open into it sometimes we don't even know, but find yourself first that will guide you.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Okay, so yeah, I think it's very important too to have you know sisterhood circles and not just sisterhood but also sisters in business, I find is very meaningful because I think it's a different language between an entrepreneur and someone who's not an entrepreneur. Um, I find that a lot of women experience that, you know, when you get hit those days where you're like, why am I even doing this? You know, I'm just tired of this, right? Or you hit an issue or a problem that just breaks you down, you really want to have a safe space to go to to talk about that. Just the vent and get it out of your nervous system. And you know you're gonna get up the next day and you're gonna figure it out. You the solution's gonna come to you, you're gonna work through it. But a lot of times when we find ourselves sharing these struggles with people who are not entrepreneurs, it's like we're talking a different language, and they may say something like, Well, go back to work and go back, well, I don't know why you even left that job, right? Uh you know, it don't sound like this is gonna work out for you, right? And that's not what we need to hear. So being in spaces where you're with like-minded women who are going through what you're going through, they understand, they know, yeah, you're just having one of those days, sis. Yeah, I'm gonna be an ear, I'm just gonna listen. I'm not judging you. You don't really need advice, you just need to vent. And I and you just need someone to say, Yeah, I see you, I I understand, yeah, that's horrible, right? And those safe spaces are very important. So I think when I feel when I look at the statistics of black women on businesses that go out of business before we reach year five, I think a big part of that is that we didn't find that safe space to talk to someone and realize, okay, I'm not the only one who has bad days. It doesn't mean I need to quit, it just means I need to keep putting one step in front of the other, and the solution's gonna come around the corner. So, all right, let me let me figure this out. So, yeah, safe spaces are very important, very important. So, let's talk a little bit about redefining wealth, and so this one is for you, Rhonda. How do you personally define wealth today beyond money?

SPEAKER_04 40:16

Flexibility of time and being able to use your time the way that you want to, is that something that you can never get back? Like, I don't care how much money you've got, you cannot buy yourself additional time. And I had a couple of friends of mine that told me that it kind of walked along the journey, a long journey from transition of working for others to working for myself. And somebody once told me, she said, you know, Rhonda, I am super happy to see that you are living the exact life that you said that you wanted to do. But you didn't just talk about it, you actually did it. And all the things that I hear you saying now about, oh yeah, I'm gonna go and spend a few months down here with some, you know, whoever it is, family or in a different place of the world, you're you're you're doing that. You're doing that. You're doing exactly what you said you wanted to do. And that when she said that, it was I took a moment and just realized like that's how I define wealth. You know, being able to use my time the way I want to. And and and leave it at that.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

Yeah, that is very important, isn't it? That's very special because I I don't think before I became an entrepreneur that I understood the value of that. Like I didn't understand how um my time was being captured by others, right? How much time I was giving to doing things for others or building someone else's wealth, right? Until I got into my own business and I and and then it it kind of hit me. So, yeah, that is very valuable. Being having that flexibility to define your own time and own your own time. I love that. What about for you, Monique? How would you personally define wealth today beyond money?

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Um, I I kind of alluded to this a little earlier, but health. Because I've experienced, you know, like being an entrepreneur and not having clear boundaries. You know, there's things that you guys talked about earlier, which I feel as though there's room for improvement for me because I've created some boundaries, but I don't feel as though I've created enough boundaries. So I don't, I it it takes everything inside of me to say I'm not gonna answer that call right now or that message. At I have clients that will text at 12, you know, a.m. Right, right. Because I am just like, let me let me just get it done because then I'll put it aside. But there's always something, right? So I battle with that a lot. And in me, battling with that, my health, like I bought the ring to to show how much how my stress level goes because I like stress has will take forms in my body that is just so horrible. And so when I get to this point, especially like you know, in the tax season where I'm like, no, I will go take a walk because I I won't do it, I will not even give myself that time during certain seasons, and my body it will show up in my body. So then when I feel it all lifted, it's just like, oh my gosh, like this is so precious, it is so precious for these aches and pains and twitching and you know, everything to not be here, and so that for me is like, thank you, God, like this is wealth, like all my faculties and like the this for. Me is well, forget about the money.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

I got my body, yes, yes. I love that, definitely worth taking care of, right? Absolutely. So, Nikki, if you could speak to your first five years in business self, what would you tell her?

SPEAKER_02 44:24

So I would I would say that the first five years of business, we all know that when we started, it's when we start is a little bit difficult. You know, we sometimes we we we ask ourselves, wasn't the good decision?

SPEAKER_00 44:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Yes, so I always say being yourself, so being uh starting your own business is always a good decision. So the only thing the thing the only thing you have to learn is that you like Ronda said earlier, you cannot carry everything on yourself. You have to you have to um choose what fits you the most and focus on that and don't get distracted. Whenever it's hard, the harder it becomes, the stronger you become. You know, um if you already understand that you have a good foundation to overpass that five years.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

Right, right. Most people don't get there, so they don't get there, yeah. So yeah, I hear what you're saying. So just know that it's you they're gonna be tough times, but after those tough times, going through those tough times, you're growing and you're getting stronger. So look at what you've learned from those tough times. And if you keep going forward, you'll make it through that five-year mark.

SPEAKER_05 46:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

Got it. What about you, Rhonda? What would you say if you could speak to your first five-year self? What would you tell her?

SPEAKER_04 46:13

You're exactly where you need to be and keep on going. You know, um there I I've told so many people who ask me about just the entrepreneurship journey or what it's what it's like running running your own business. I say, you know, I feel like in in a matter of six months, I'll learn more than I learned in 10 years of my career. Because there's always something new that you know you didn't know. You know, when you are working for someone else, then you are usually focused in a particular area, is your area of expertise. But when you are running the business, then you're getting out of more of the technical side of things of okay, I know how to do these tasks. And now you're looking more strategically of how, where do I want this business to go? And what do I want this to look like five, 10 years from now? And what can I be doing now to get to that point? And who do I need to align with to be able to get to that point? And thinking about things from that perspective rather than okay, I gotta figure out how to do this task. And like, yes, you know, when I referred to you earlier about focusing on the things that only I can do, I'm like, I can find somebody to do the task, I can teach them how to do the task, or I can write up standard operating procedures of how to do the task. I need to focus on something else.

SPEAKER_05 47:35

Right?

SPEAKER_04 47:35

You know, because if if I am not focused on where this business is going to go, then this business is not going to go anywhere.

SPEAKER_05 47:42

Right.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

It's gonna be stuck in day to day finishing the tasks. I'm like, that's not what I'm here for. That's not what I'm here for. I'm like, yes, I am an advisor. However, the strategy needs to be something that I am focused on. And I try to work with my clients the same way. And especially like if they're whether they're in those early stages or they've kind of gotten beyond that back of all right, well, what are those things that you need to be focusing on to get this business to the next level? So I just you know full circle was thinking about what would I tell myself is you're exactly where you need to be right now, but keep on focusing on where you want to be in the future.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

I love that. And and that's what people call working on your business versus in your business, right?

SPEAKER_03 48:27

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 48:28

In your business, you you at the details, but on your business is a strategy. Where are we going? I love that. What about you, Moni? What would you tell your first five year in business self?

SPEAKER_01 48:42

I would tell her to set your boundaries. The clients will continue to be there and they will come. I I wouldn't have gone through what I've been through if I knew to do that much earlier in the process. You know, in those first five years, you want to please everyone and you want to do everything. And set those boundaries. You can still have a great business, you will still do well. If some people leave, that's their business, they need to be your client in the first place. But set those boundaries, protect your peace.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Love that, love that. All right. What does having an all mean to you now? And has that definition changed for you, Rhonda?

SPEAKER_04 49:31

What is having an all now? Peace. You know, a life of peace. And I don't know if that's really changed for me over time. Um, even when I was younger, then that was important to me. It looked different, but it it was always important to me. And at the end of the day, you know, that's what having it all looks like to me. Monique was mentioning that earlier, your health, um, being able to get out and take that walk, having the luxury of being able to get out there and and take that walk. Um enjoy and enjoying the sunshine and you know the simple things in life. Yeah, um, that's what having it all is to me.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

Yes, I love that. Love that. Nikki, what does having it all look like for you and has that changed over time?

SPEAKER_02 50:22

I always say peace up mine and be able to do what you want to do.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

I love that. What about you, mommy?

SPEAKER_01 50:32

Um, having it all has definitely changed for me over time. Um, you know, because if you asked me five years ago, then it would have been like, well, I need this much money, I need this car, this house, this, you know, whatever. But today, you know, even when I think about being a small business owner myself, um, having it all means to be fulfilled in what I do and what I'm giving, right? And so it's what I'm giving to my clients that they walk away feeling better. It's also as I grow, you know, my team, like when I see some of the people, they're like, oh no, I understand because of this and that and that. I'm like, look at you. Like that really makes me happy. So being able to, yes, be compensated for what I do, but the fulfilling part is to still be that mentor and to be that resource for individuals. That is what having it all um means for me, to me.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

Love it, love it. And our final question to all you ladies, and I'll start with you, Rhonda. Um, what has surprised you about your entrepreneur journey? What have you discovered about yourself, about business, uh, about life as you've gone through this entrepreneur journey that kind of surprised you? It was something you didn't expect, or maybe just never took the time to think about. Is there something about this journey that surprised you?

SPEAKER_04 52:00

Um I feel like every day there's something that surprises me.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

Right to the point where you just break it. Yeah, yeah. It's not static. It's it's just all something, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:13

I get there's gonna be something new every day. And if there's not a surprise, then okay, well, what's going on? Like, well, what's happening today?

SPEAKER_00 52:23

I get that, definitely.

SPEAKER_04 52:24

But yeah, I guess that's that's one of the things that you know I didn't really expect it. And if if you had asked me that same question 10 years ago, that would have been something I'd be afraid of. Um, because I was used to knowing how things were gonna go. And A plus B equals C, one plus one equals two. But I was used to that kind of a world. And now we're, you know, one plus one could equal five sometimes. And you know, you wake up one day and it's like, oh, that's not what I expected. But it's it's part of the excitement. Um, part of the excitement of running a business um and learning something new every day, I guess is one of those more exciting things to me. It's like, okay, well, what am I gonna learn about today? I tell people stories all the time. I was like, there are a million ways out here that people make money.

SPEAKER_06 53:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:13

And being an accountant, you start to see, you're like, you you do what? Right.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

Like I didn't even know that was it does make sense. We do need that, but yeah, it's not one of the business that we hear about all the time.

SPEAKER_04 53:26

I guess definitely, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:29

What about you, Monique?

SPEAKER_01 53:31

Anything surprised you about you know what has hyped me up and kept me going is I can do all things, and I don't mean it in terms of having to do all things within the business, but there are times um, you know, within this journey, within this path, it's just like, wow, I I got it, I know it, I can do it, I can do all things, and so that is one of the biggest things that um, you know, I trust in and I believe in for myself.

SPEAKER_00 54:02

Got it, got it. So so kind of like a reaffirming your greatness. You you're seeing your own greatness. You're like, wow, I love that. Because so many times we we do, we accomplish things and we just let it go past us because we're on to the next. And I love that you're able to sit in and claim, okay, I did that. Oh, I did that. That's wonderful. I love that. What about you, Nikki? Anything about your entrepreneurial journey that surprised you?

SPEAKER_02 54:35

Yeah, is that um I would say that what has surprised me is I didn't so you know something, but you don't you didn't you don't know that you know it. So like yeah, so you when you work for somebody or for someone else, you focus on one area, right? And when you start on your own, and when you start getting customer, you are facing a lot of um new new things, yeah. And the first thing you are afraid, right? Because you don't know if you can do it until you have it, and you you can you've started doing it. So that is something that has surprised me. I was like, so I know a lot of things like that. Do I know that I can't do it, yeah. And and also the constant uh what is uh you have you you are constantly learning, yes, always in in continued education. I would say, you know, you are always in continued education because you are having you have a a lot of the different um different, I would say different situation on each situation you have to learn. So because you have to learn, that is how you are gaining a lot of knowledge, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:05

So you're learning in real time, right? When you real time you're picking up, okay, because you have to figure it out, okay. What's yes? So okay, I've learned that I've felt that all right now I know how to do that. Okay, what's next? Okay, yeah, let me learn this, and I got that. Yeah, I got that.

SPEAKER_02 56:22

Yeah, I I would definitely say that I on uh I learned that entrepreneurship is a is like a school. So when you are a business owner, you are you are you like a teacher and you know that always looks for something new. That is why we say you're always in school.

SPEAKER_00 56:44

Yeah, and I love how you share that. Yeah, a lot of times we don't know how much we know, right? Because if we've been doing one main thing, there's also some um things that go along with that that we we are aware of. I always, when I do my self-talk, I tell myself that I am 10 times better than I realize I am, right? Because what what I am aware of is probably 10% of what I'm really capable of. But like you eloquently put it, but when I get in that situation, then that part of me comes out. I'm like, ooh, I can do that. Okay, you did that pretty good, right? So I always, when I think I can't do something, I tell myself, no, you're 10 times better than you know you are. And when you go through in real time solving the solutions, finding the solutions, then you realize you've proven that to yourself. So I love that. That and that is a surprise, right? Because you think you know everything about yourself, but you don't. You know, someone once told me um on one of my podcasts, I think it was Bianca, she said when she was living in her comfort zone, she said, when you live in your comfort zone, you really don't know who you are as a person, right? You don't know all the stuff you're capable of because you've stayed in this little room right here. So when you get out of the room, you give yourself space for all that talent, all that knowledge, all that energy and creativity to come out. So, yes, beautiful, beautiful. So, ladies, thank you so much for being part of this exhale session, for showing up fully, not just as professionals, but as women. And to the woman listening, I hope you take a moment to just breathe, to release the pressure, to have everything figured out, to release the expectation that you have to carry it all on your own. And to remember, you are allowed to build a life that feels as good as it looks. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for continuing to do the work of becoming. So I want to leave you with this. Build the business, but don't forget to build the life that allows you to enjoy it. And if you appreciate anything you're experiencing with us today, we ask you please be sure to do four powerful actions. Subscribe, comment, rate us five stars, and share the podcast with sisters in business you care about. And as always, I wish you the very best of joy, health, and wealth. Until next time, be well.