26. You Weren't Made to Do This Alone: God's Design for Support in Labor

In this episode I'm diving deep into a topic that's been on my heart—how you can experience professional doula support while keeping your birth intimate and private through virtual birth support. This option could be the perfect solution for mamas who are torn between wanting expert guidance and maintaining the sacred space of birth with just their husband present.

After supporting many families as an in-person doula and experiencing my own intimate birth with my husband as my primary support, I've seen firsthand how powerful it can be when couples work together during labor. But I've also witnessed how having professional guidance at key moments can make all the difference. That's why I'm passionate about sharing how virtual doula support bridges this gap beautifully.

Whether you're facing financial constraints, living in an area without faith-based doulas, or simply preferring a more private birth experience while still wanting expert support—this episode will show you how virtual support can transform your birth experience without compromising intimacy.

In this episode, I share: 

🏡 My own birth story and what I wish we'd had for guidance during critical moments 

💻 Exactly what virtual doula support looks like from prenatal prep through postpartum 

👫 How this model empowers husbands to be confident, capable birth partners 

💰 Why virtual support costs a fraction of in-person services while still providing comprehensive care 

🙏 The biblical foundation for seeking wise counsel and community support during birth

Scripture Shared: 

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Mentioned in this episode: 

📞 Free 15-Minute Discovery Call: Schedule your no-obligation consultation with me today! I would LOVE to connect with you to see how I can serve you!

✨ Christian Mama Birth Prep Library - Free birth prep tools, worship playlists & more

✝️ Online Christian Childbirth Education - Explore my complete birth preparation self-paced course

💛 Work with Me 1:1 - Personalized pregnancy and birth support that integrates faith and evidence-based care, including virtual coaching, doula support, and comprehensive childbirth education

If this episode stirred hope in your heart about having supported yet intimate birth experience, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mama who might be searching for this exact solution.

Let’s keep choosing faith over fear, one birth story at a time. Go here for the full blog post, show notes, and all resources mentioned!

Transcript

Natalie Portman: 0:45

Hey there, sweet Mama. Welcome back to Faith Over Fear, the Christian Pregnancy and Birth podcast. I'm so glad you are joining me here today because I've really been praying over this episode. I just feel like there is a mama who's listening to this right now, and you're expecting your sweet baby soon. But your heart is torn between wanting an experienced doula or birth support. While also keeping your birth an intimate and private space. So maybe you've looked into hiring a doula before, but the cost feels overwhelming for your family or your situation right now. Or maybe you just really have not connected well with a doula. A doula who shares your faith, who understands that birth is a very sacred and spiritual experience, and you don't wanna just have. Anybody invited into that space? So if any of that resonates with you, I pray that this episode is an encouragement to you and just provides you with some hope, because today I'm gonna be sharing something that could possibly change a lot about how you're approaching your upcoming birth. If you don't know me already, my name is Natalie. I am a Christian birth doula and childbirth educator in Jacksonville, Florida. I am certified as a birth doula through DONA International. I'm a body ready Method pro and also an advanced VBAC doula, meaning I've had extra training for supporting families who are wanting to undergo a VBAC or a vaginal birth after cesarean. And I've had the privilege of supporting many families through birth doula support. But then you know much more than. Just certifications. I'm also a mama myself, and I really do understand just the sacred nature of birth and its significance in your life and in your family, and also understanding the importance of having support you know, for your family, for yourself, and your family's unique needs. So today this show episode will be about how you can find doula support and also having an intimate birth experience that honors and glorifies God with your husband as the primary support person through virtual doula support. So we're gonna dive into what that looks like, what virtual doula support looks like, and. See if that's the right fit for you. So whenever I was pregnant for the first time with Ellie, this was during COVID, and the hospital restrictions were changing all the time. It ended up being that I could have two support people with me by the time I actually had her in June of 2021, but it was so up in the air. I didn't even look into hiring even a virtual doula because I didn't even first of all know that existed, but I did not understand how that could be helpful for me and my husband at the time. So Brian, thankfully, is such a supportive husband and he really stepped up in the most incredible ways. To make me feel like he was going to support me in my birth experience. So I inadvertently, I joke like"daddy doula-ed" him and taught him comfort measures and labor positions. And we talked through ways to advocate for me during the birth and like all these things. And so when the time came for. The birth itself. He was such an incredible daddy doula as we called him. And that experience that we had together of him supporting me through the labor up to that point, you know, granted we had been married for not even two years, but it was one of the most bonding experiences we had ever shared at that point. And Brian wasn't just. Standing in the sidelines, like timidly, like I don't really know what to do. He was an active participant in the labor and it was so beautiful to just see him stepping up in that way. But here's one thing that I do wish we had done differently, and I do wish that we had a little bit more expert guidance during some very critical points in the labor. So I mentioned it in my birth story, but I labored standing up for a lot of my labor, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but I labored for 12 hours and standing up for most of that time completely wore me out. And Labor's gonna wear you out no matter what, but if you can find labor positions that are comfortable, but also help, you know, progress, the labor you save yourself, the energy waste of. Finding positions that just take more energy, like standing up. Another thing is we ended up having some medical interventions, like I mentioned, breaking my water and things like that. And it would've been so nice to have been able to talk with a doula or someone more experienced with the interventions and just been able to know what questions to ask and all the things. And that would've also just been another critical moment during the labor. Not that I regret my labor, of course I don't. But just, you know, thinking back to that experience, I think Brian would have succeeded even more. And there could have just been a couple tweaks that would've just made it even better. You know, I'm bringing up this because while in-person doula support is absolutely incredible. That is obviously what I do for a living. And so I love in-person doula support. However, that is not an option for everybody, both financially and geographically, or you just don't have a good connection with a doula in your area. And the Lord really just showed me this virtual birth support option, and I have just really embraced this as a way for the Lord to use me to support families through this very intimate, vulnerable experience of preparing for birth. Giving birth and then that early postpartum time. So if you have a husband or it's a different partner, it's your mom that's gonna be your birth partner, or your sister or a friend whoever that person's gonna be. So I'm gonna say, you know, husband probably primarily because for most of us, it's gonna be our husband that will be our primary birth partner. But whoever that partner is, you know, they. They want to step up and be that support for you, but sometimes they don't have the knowledge, the information, the experience to draw on, to be able to give you the support that you need. And they just might need a little bit of extra support. And so that's exactly what virtual birth support does, is it's just providing that extra just layer of support for your birth team. And so I would love to share with you, I always, tie scripture into what we talk about on this podcast, but the Lord drew me to Ecclesiastes four, nine through 10 and it says. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. So I read this and I immediately think God designed us for community. Throughout all of scripture, we see how the Lord, has been providing exactly the right helper at exactly the right time. So some examples of this. He gave Moses, Aaron, whenever Moses felt inadequate. Remember he had like a speech impediment or something where he didn't feel adequate and then we have David who used Jonathan. Jonathan came at just the right time to help encourage him as he was fleeing from Saul in the wilderness. And then. Mary had Elizabeth who was there to just rejoice in her pregnancy and all that the Lord was doing, even though Mary was a virgin and the circumstances were wild. I hope you can see your husband as not only your primary support, but he's gonna be the one. That is providing the hands-on comfort measures, holding your hand, speaking life over you, praying over you, and being your strength when the labor gets intense. Because, you know, God designed our marriage to reflect our relationship with him. But then there's also, like I'm saying, so much throughout scripture that just shows how the Lord designed us for community. That when we surround ourselves with wise counsel, with people that are just pointing us to the truth, pointing us to Jesus there's such a beauty. In that group effort, in that community effort because that's how he designed us. So a couple things I wanted to address in regards to virtual birth support, because I think some people hear that and they're like, okay, that seems like way less appealing to me than having an in-person doula. And for some that is absolutely the case. But I think for many couples having virtual birth support, it can really enhance the birth experience. It's not adding an extra person into the room. If you're a private person, this is probably gonna be your preference anyway. Your husband will be trained. To be that primary support, which most husbands want to do that, they want to be that. But then you just have that expert in the back pocket to be able to advise and encourage and to give suggestions throughout the labor and pregnancy. And then, others might worry that virtual support might not be enough in the moments of intense labor. But when you're in labor, you tend to focus more inward. And during those times. You are not needing somebody to be touching you at all points in time. Sometimes you might at certain points in the labor. But really it's having timely hands-on comfort measures. So like knowing what comfort measures to utilize when and how and then having appropriate labor position suggestions. So like I mentioned. Me standing up and laboring for hours and hours was not a bad thing, but I certainly could have saved myself a lot of energy if I had found and been suggested some better labor positions. I think at one point they were trying to get me to sit down in a rocking chair that was in the room. It was so uncomfortable. I would leap up as soon as the contraction started. So like we were just having a hard time. My husband Brian and my mom, who I think was at the, in the room at the time for my labor they were trying to find different labor positions, but they just didn't have a lot at their disposal to be able to suggest. And then also being able to, just navigate decisions with wisdom. A calm, knowledgeable voice can be so powerful in certain moments of the labor. And so this, virtual support is not less than traditional doula support. It's certainly different, but it could be exactly what you need. So I wanted to paint a picture of kind of what virtual birth coaching birth support might look like for you during the actual labor. So I want you to imagine you are in early labor, or you're thinking, maybe I'm in early labor and you're starting to have some contractions or maybe some cramping. They're starting to get stronger and you're not exactly sure if this is it am I in labor or not? And you're wanting to know when should I notify my birth team? When should I call the hospital to let them know I'm in labor or call my provider? And I shared with you on my birth story with my second, my son, Daniel, how even I as a birth doula was unsure when my labor was starting with him because I was having so much warmup labor beforehand. It was like I was having a hard time seeing the forest through the trees, a situation. And I was texting my doula. To tell her like, Hey, this is what I'm experiencing. This is what, what's going on? What do you think? Do you think I'm in labor yet? And so I'm just saying if I'm a birth doula and I'm, I can have a hard time in my own body discerning what's happening. I am sure that this happens to other women as well, where it can just be very tricky to understand when labor is like really getting started or if it's just another warmup that you want to try to minimize your attention to. So with virtual birth support, you would just simply text me or call me and be able to have that conversation, that reassurance. I can ask you questions about what you're experiencing. I can even help give you some suggestions or give some guidance to your husband on Hey, maybe draw her a bath, or let's do this position that we practiced. Before, like during the prenatal visits to see if it helps baby come down or this, that and the other. Like just giving that practical support in that moment. And then as labor progresses, like you realize you're actually in labor. I'm gonna be there every step of the way. Via phone. So your husband can call me, can text me, or like in early labor you can even be calling and texting me. When things start to get more intense, say, you know, we're talking about some interventions or transition is coming up and you're starting to doubt yourself. Just being able to create a space or to just invite the Holy Spirit into that. There have been so many times where I will just say, Hey dad, this would be a great moment to just pray over her and. The beauty of that moment of just being able to come to the Lord kind of refocus have your husband or your birth team just praying over you, that is so powerful. But if not even on your radar to think to do that. It's gonna be hard to remember those types of things. But yeah, so you know, your husband's gonna be the hands-on in the room or your birth partner, whoever the birth partner is. They're going to be the hands-on in the room and they're gonna feel confident to know. That I'm doing the right thing, I'm doing it in the right way, and I'm doing it at the right time. And so this is about your birth team feeling equipped, empowered, and just being able to be fully present for you. Because I think that's one of the things that so many dads come away, like when I'm doing the postpartum visit they come away from the experience and they're like, I benefited so much from having you at the birth. Like obviously you were there to help support, you know, mom through the labor, but I felt so much more confident just being able to ask you if this was normal, is this progress normal or no. Or whatever. Like it, it really does go a long way to just have a support person even for dad. And so I will take just a moment to go over what exactly virtual birth support looks like with me just so you can get a sense of what this exactly entails. So during the pregnancy, I will do two comprehensive. Prenatal visits with you over Zoom, and this is where we're gonna build rapport. We're gonna discuss your birth preferences and really practically prepare you with actionable steps for your pregnancy. And I say this all the time, we don't know what we don't know. There will be things that are so important to prepare for, but they're not even on your radar. And I love to be able to give that information, to give those resources so that you can determine the things to prioritize as you're preparing during your pregnancy. And, you know, I just joke all the time that preparing for birth can feel like you are trying to drink out of a fire hydrant where it is so much information all at once, but. When you have an expert, like a doula or like I'm saying, virtual doula guiding you, we are able to slowly and more manageably help you through, sort through the information that you're getting so that it's not overwhelming and that you can actually take it in. This is why I tend to prefer to start working with clients earlier in the pregnancy, like in the first trimester. Because it just gives us more time to work together and more time to work through, like I'm saying all this information. However, I have had people hire me very last minute whether that's like days, weeks, and I even one time had someone hire me and then she signed the paperwork and then literally her water broke. It is definitely possible to hire me very literally last minute. And at that point I would prepare you with okay, these are the things we need to go over if we're in the later end, but. Yeah, so you know, the point of those prenatal visits ahead of time is so that you feel very prepared during the pregnancy to face your upcoming birth with faith over Fear. And that is one of the biggest components to the support that I feel like I offer is that. I want everything that we do to be glorifying to the Lord and birth prep and the birth itself and the postpartum time and the bond that you're creating with your family that is, is so like that is ministry. And so being able to focus on the faith aspects of, coming alongside of you, speaking truth into you. Not just the practical side, but also the spiritual. Just ways that the Lord meets us and the things that he's taught me in this season. All the things, and like I mentioned, just having that prayer time can be so powerful. But if you find yourself not aligning with a doula in your area or you just feel connected with my heart and my approach to labor and birth it really does go a long way to connect with a doula that is of like. Faith and like-minded and then when it comes to hiring me for the virtual birth support. On a more practical note I also will give you access to my full faith Over Fear Childbirth Education online course. This is a course that you would do at your own pace. I have easy to digest modules and extra resources to prepare you again, practically and also spiritually for the pregnancy, the birth, and your breastfeeding journey. I give free access to the Christian Mama birth prep library, but that's really just a taste of all the resources I provide to my clients. My clients also gain access to a full resource library. It includes, you know, things like birth preferences a checklist for that which we go over during the prenatal visits the hospital packing list, I also include a Comfort Measures packing list which is a bunch of Amazon links to all the things that I find to be essentially important to have whenever I am supporting birds in person. And so that's just a really great resource to have as well, you know, just simple things like, hey, a starry nightlight projector for just changing the room, certain essential oils that are nice to have on hand, things like that. You would also have access to unlimited phone and email support throughout your pregnancy. You know, any questions you have concerns and even just like prayer, there have been so many conversations where I'm just on the phone because mom's really stressed out about something and we just talk through it and I pray. And again, it really does go a long way to just have somebody who is of like faith and just supporting you in that way. And then during the birth itself because like I've mentioned before, labor comes on anytime, day or night, usually at night. You can call me or text me whenever you think you're in labor. And then we can take phone calls up to 30 minutes during the labor itself so that you can get that real time guidance. The reason I keep it shorter is so that you guys are focused and in the zone during the labor, not feeling like you're just constantly, you know, just getting information from me. But just, those quick kind of coaching calls, figuring out what the next game plan is, and then of course, like unlimited texting and all that kind of stuff, just to keep up to date with what's happening during the labor. But we're gonna try to keep phone conversations to a minimum so you can focus and your husband can be like. Doing all the things to support you during the labor and the birth. And then, you know, that also goes hand in hand with me being able to provide that step-by-step coaching to your husband or whoever your birth partner is so that they can be the hands in the room. And then having conversations if and when needed to talk through interventions or communicating with your medical team. And then I even provide like a handout that goes over different labor positions. We'll talk about breathing techniques and other relaxation techniques. So all of these things are gonna be things that will be utilized through virtual support. And then after you deliver, I like to do a virtual postpartum visit usually within two weeks from when you have had the baby. And it's a time to reflect back on the birth, to just get a like a debrief on what all happened and then. A check in on you. How are you doing? How are you feeling? How's your husband? How's the baby? How's breastfeeding going? And then you get continued six weeks into that postpartum time of phone and email support. And then just that continued spiritual encouragement. There's been a mama that just delivered recently and she's been going through some stuff even after she had the baby and being able to just. Speak encouragement with her and navigating some medical stuff that's happened after the fact. But then also just being able to end our phone call with just praying over her. And I know she's told me so many times just what a help that is. To be able to just have somebody in your corner in that way. Yeah, so that's, an overview of what that virtual support looks like. And just to highlight again, that typically this type of support when it's in person is thousands of dollars. My in-person package right now is like over$2,000 and you know, this virtual support option, not only geographically. Has a greater reach for people that don't have access, but also financially. That is, it's a huge difference to be able to have this type of support at a fraction of the cost. So if that's something that is appealing to you, something to keep in mind the kind of perfect fit for the families that are wanting or, you know, thinking about virtual birth support I find this is most helpful for Christian families who are wanting. Faith at the center of this season. This is for families who see the wisdom of inviting professional expert support but again, are needing that more affordable option. This is also great for mamas who have a really supportive husband. A husband who is. Eager to be that hands-on support. They're just needing like that extra guidance to know what to do, when to do it, how to do it. Also helpful for women who value and want more privacy during their birth experience yet still wanting. The kind of safety net of having a professional to, to help guide if and when needed. This is also helpful for couples if they're facing like hospital restriction or other just like limits that would, you know, inhibit them having another person during the birth. And then this is especially. Great for somebody who just believes that we were not meant to walk this journey alone. And I really do believe that virtual birth support is not settling for less. This can be exactly what your family might need. Just a way to, to receive that support and that encouragement through the power of technology, which has grown so much, especially since COVID. Really just as far as like technology requirements, you would just need to have a reliable internet connection. Something like a smartphone, a tablet, or a computer that has video capabilities. So we can do our virtual visits and things. But. But that's really it. Like virtual doula support is literally like having a doula in your pocket whenever you need it. That's so cool. I created this virtual birth support option because I kept seeing such a gap in, you know, mamas wanting to feel supported, but feeling like only option was to have an in-person doula or. Just trying to go at it alone, but like I'm saying, God just really did not make us to navigate this alone. And it really is such a blessing and it's his grace that we have, the technology that we have so that we can have access to this level of expertise and encouragement and prayer in a virtual setting. It also just really empowers husbands to be able to step into the calling they have as head of the house as protector of their wife. To be able to just make it a bonding experience like I know it was for Brian and me to be able to go through that labor together. And then what I love most of all and what excites me most is just the beauty of inviting the Lord into this experience. That he gets to be front and center of this whole birth experience He already has this story written, but it is beautiful to be able to just be reminded of that because I think it is really easy to forget that, especially when you're going through such an intense thing like giving birth to somebody so if this conversation is like stirring up some stuff in you, stirring up some hope or an encouragement and you're maybe thinking. This honestly sounds like something I could use like. I would absolutely be honored if you would schedule a free 15 minute discovery call with me. This is an absolutely no obligation consultation where we're just gonna talk about your specific hopes and dreams and goals for your upcoming birth. How virtual support might be a good fit for your situation. It's also a time for me to see if we're a good fit for each other because doula work is very personal. And then I can answer any lingering questions or concerns you have about this support. And things like that. But yeah, if you're feeling at all interested in this, I would love it if you would go to my website, it's faithoverfearbirth.com and just book a 15 minute discovery call with me. Spots for this type of support are limited. Like I only take on a couple clients a month. And so I, you know, just so that everyone's getting the attention they need, I can't take endless mamas, but. But yeah, so go there. faithoverfearbirth.com. Fill out the form to to do a discovery call with me. I would just absolutely love to be able to support you. And then before we, we close out today, I just wanted to just pray over you and just speak this truth. Over you. Lord Jesus, I just, I pray for this sweet mama that's listening right now. Lord Jesus. You know her heart and you know her hopes and just the desires of her heart for this birth but you're perfectly writing her story. God, I just pray that right now. You would just give her clarity. About the support that she needs in this season, I ask that you would prepare her husband's heart as he's stepping into his calling as a husband and as a father. And I pray that you would just strengthen their partnership and their bond and their marriage. And Lord, just let this birth story, reveal your faithfulness in new and beautiful ways. I just ask that you would cast out all fear about her birth story, about finding the right support, and Lord, just replace it with confidence in the means and the ways that you are providing for her. And we love you, Jesus. I ask this all in your name. Amen. If this episode was a blessing to you and you feel like this could be an encouragement to some other mamas, you know, please feel free to share it. And, you know, who knows, this could be an answer to the prayers that she's been having, the concerns that she's been having about her upcoming birth. And like I said, if you're ready to take that next step with me remember to schedule your free discovery call. And I'm just so excited to connect with you. I just love being able to use this podcast as a means to pour in and encourage and just use the gifts that the Lord has given me, the knowledge base that the Lord has given me. But just really felt like this was a very timely episode to put out that there's some mamas out there that would just so benefit from this type of support. Even if it's a little bit unconventional. But I'm praying for you and just keep praying that the Lord would just continually remind you to choose faith over fear in this season. But until next time, we will talk soon. Bye-bye for now.