{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.151,"endTime":2.752,"body":"You've heard that self-care isn't selfish"},{"startTime":3.032,"endTime":6.373,"body":"but let's be honest, it feels impossible"},{"startTime":6.573,"endTime":9.554,"body":"as a busy mom to squeeze self-care in"},{"startTime":9.755,"endTime":11.855,"body":"along with everything you're doing to meet"},{"startTime":12.035,"endTime":15.457,"body":"everyone else's needs. Sweet mama, I get"},{"startTime":15.517,"endTime":18.098,"body":"it. But as the statistics I'm about to"},{"startTime":18.158,"endTime":20.438,"body":"share with you show, the reality is that"},{"startTime":20.638,"endTime":23.119,"body":"if you don't make time for yourself and"},{"startTime":23.179,"endTime":26.401,"body":"what brings you joy The whole family"},{"startTime":26.541,"endTime":29.083,"body":"suffers and I know that is the last thing"},{"startTime":29.123,"endTime":31.705,"body":"in the world you would want to happen. If"},{"startTime":31.765,"endTime":33.586,"body":"you have been struggling to put yourself"},{"startTime":33.626,"endTime":36.448,"body":"first and have just resigned yourself to"},{"startTime":36.488,"endTime":38.989,"body":"thinking it just is what it is right now"},{"startTime":39.35,"endTime":41.691,"body":"or that you'll get to it someday, you"},{"startTime":41.751,"endTime":43.993,"body":"cannot afford to miss this episode."},{"startTime":44.673,"endTime":46.715,"body":"Welcome to More Time for Mom, where"},{"startTime":46.855,"endTime":48.796,"body":"overwhelmed moms get science-backed"},{"startTime":48.856,"endTime":51.158,"body":"strategies to overcome the hidden sources"},{"startTime":51.198,"endTime":54.08,"body":"of stress stealing your time and joy. I'm"},{"startTime":54.1,"endTime":56.682,"body":"your host, Dr. Amber Curtis. Ready to make"},{"startTime":56.722,"endTime":61.628,"body":"more time for you? Let's dive in. There's"},{"startTime":61.668,"endTime":63.451,"body":"something really scary that happens when"},{"startTime":63.491,"endTime":66.414,"body":"you become a mom. I know because I"},{"startTime":66.514,"endTime":68.737,"body":"experienced it all too viciously myself"},{"startTime":69.298,"endTime":71.661,"body":"and because I see it in almost all of my"},{"startTime":71.701,"endTime":74.264,"body":"coaching clients. As soon as you become a"},{"startTime":74.304,"endTime":78.028,"body":"mom, it's like you disappear. and you so"},{"startTime":78.248,"endTime":81.09,"body":"naturally, beautifully even, start to"},{"startTime":81.19,"endTime":84.272,"body":"sacrifice yourself for your kids. You"},{"startTime":84.312,"endTime":86.733,"body":"might think it's just temporary, such an"},{"startTime":86.813,"endTime":89.075,"body":"inherent part of the postpartum period,"},{"startTime":89.515,"endTime":91.556,"body":"but before you know it, you have put"},{"startTime":91.596,"endTime":94.618,"body":"yourself on the back burner so long that"},{"startTime":94.638,"endTime":97.46,"body":"your physical or mental health suffers and"},{"startTime":97.52,"endTime":100.402,"body":"you don't even know who you are anymore."},{"startTime":101.122,"endTime":103.665,"body":"Then bitterness and frustration set in and"},{"startTime":104.146,"endTime":107.65,"body":"you turn into a cranky, resentful mom. But"},{"startTime":107.69,"endTime":109.592,"body":"the demands are never ending and things"},{"startTime":109.732,"endTime":112.416,"body":"only get more and more complicated as your"},{"startTime":112.496,"endTime":116.801,"body":"kids get older. You feel so stuck. I know."},{"startTime":118.022,"endTime":119.744,"body":"I want to share with you some really"},{"startTime":120.044,"endTime":122.586,"body":"eye-opening statistics, both to help you"},{"startTime":122.646,"endTime":124.768,"body":"know you are not alone if you are"},{"startTime":124.828,"endTime":127.65,"body":"struggling to, as they say, put your own"},{"startTime":127.811,"endTime":131.073,"body":"oxygen mask on first, but also to maybe"},{"startTime":131.113,"endTime":133.536,"body":"light a little fire under you to start"},{"startTime":133.596,"endTime":136.738,"body":"making some changes now before neglecting"},{"startTime":136.778,"endTime":139.24,"body":"yourself and your dreams really hurts"},{"startTime":139.381,"endTime":142.73,"body":"those you love the most. With that said, I"},{"startTime":142.81,"endTime":144.812,"body":"do want to offer a little trigger warning"},{"startTime":144.872,"endTime":147.994,"body":"that some of these statistics might feel"},{"startTime":148.214,"endTime":150.776,"body":"very threatening to you, and that is not"},{"startTime":150.836,"endTime":154.239,"body":"my intention. Believe me, I would include"},{"startTime":154.299,"endTime":156.901,"body":"myself in all of the statistics I'm going"},{"startTime":156.921,"endTime":159.343,"body":"to share with you, at least my past self,"},{"startTime":159.463,"endTime":161.925,"body":"and that's why I am so adamant about"},{"startTime":162.025,"endTime":164.928,"body":"speaking out about these things. So please"},{"startTime":165.129,"endTime":167.473,"body":"be gentle with yourself, but hear me out."},{"startTime":167.693,"endTime":169.977,"body":"And then as you hopefully know, the entire"},{"startTime":170.137,"endTime":172.922,"body":"point of this podcast is to equip you with"},{"startTime":172.982,"endTime":175.766,"body":"solutions so that you don't become one of"},{"startTime":175.827,"endTime":178.763,"body":"these statistics. According to Motherly's"},{"startTime":178.923,"endTime":182.485,"body":"state of motherhood survey, 93% of moms"},{"startTime":182.625,"endTime":185.567,"body":"report feeling burnt out, especially"},{"startTime":185.647,"endTime":189.049,"body":"because they are in such short supply for"},{"startTime":189.129,"endTime":192.471,"body":"alone time. And as psychologists point"},{"startTime":192.631,"endTime":196.212,"body":"out, alone time needs to be real time to"},{"startTime":196.252,"endTime":199.333,"body":"yourself, time for doing things that give"},{"startTime":199.373,"endTime":202.994,"body":"you joy and energy, time that's free of"},{"startTime":203.194,"endTime":206.334,"body":"obligation or mental load. It's so much"},{"startTime":206.414,"endTime":208.855,"body":"more than just running errands by yourself"},{"startTime":209.135,"endTime":211.275,"body":"or getting those few peaceful minutes to"},{"startTime":211.315,"endTime":213.936,"body":"yourself in the car before you go back"},{"startTime":213.996,"endTime":216.737,"body":"into the crazy house. It's more than"},{"startTime":216.937,"endTime":219.677,"body":"having a quick shower or getting a few"},{"startTime":219.737,"endTime":222.558,"body":"hours of sleep. It really is about having"},{"startTime":222.898,"endTime":226.939,"body":"space to think and act on whatever you"},{"startTime":227.159,"endTime":229.901,"body":"want to do. If you don't feel like you"},{"startTime":283.931,"endTime":286.17199999999997,"body":"have any alone time, you are in good"},{"startTime":286.23199999999997,"endTime":289.353,"body":"company because a 2024 study by Motherly"},{"startTime":289.673,"endTime":293.975,"body":"finds that only 39% of moms get an hour to"},{"startTime":293.995,"endTime":297.437,"body":"themselves a day. Even one hour, I almost"},{"startTime":297.477,"endTime":300.639,"body":"find that 39% number high because an hour"},{"startTime":300.659,"endTime":302.76,"body":"a day still feels impossible right now"},{"startTime":302.8,"endTime":305.962,"body":"with four kids 11 and under. It's a real"},{"startTime":306.002,"endTime":310.265,"body":"challenge. Of more concern, 34% of moms"},{"startTime":310.485,"endTime":313.267,"body":"admit putting themselves very last on"},{"startTime":313.307,"endTime":315.548,"body":"their to-do list, according to a survey by"},{"startTime":315.608,"endTime":318.15000000000003,"body":"Baby Center. And in that same survey,"},{"startTime":318.55,"endTime":321.772,"body":"nearly one in four moms defined their"},{"startTime":321.832,"endTime":325.494,"body":"entire identity by motherhood alone. and"},{"startTime":325.55400000000003,"endTime":328.115,"body":"reported that they had lost touch with who"},{"startTime":328.15500000000003,"endTime":331.996,"body":"they are apart from parenthood. A 2023"},{"startTime":332.176,"endTime":335.696,"body":"Forbes article reports that 78% of moms"},{"startTime":335.877,"endTime":338.377,"body":"admit to sacrificing sleep to take care of"},{"startTime":338.41700000000003,"endTime":341.718,"body":"their families, and 80% of moms had to"},{"startTime":341.778,"endTime":344.259,"body":"turn down social invitations due to"},{"startTime":344.319,"endTime":346.86,"body":"parenting responsibilities, That article"},{"startTime":347.04,"endTime":350.846,"body":"also reports that 46% of moms, almost half"},{"startTime":351.00600000000003,"endTime":354.832,"body":"of moms, are currently seeking therapy as"},{"startTime":354.952,"endTime":357.135,"body":"mental health concerns have surpassed even"},{"startTime":357.21500000000003,"endTime":360.039,"body":"financial concerns as the top source of"},{"startTime":360.099,"endTime":363.502,"body":"worry. A 2012 Gallup poll of over 60,000"},{"startTime":364.522,"endTime":366.903,"body":"women found that non-employed moms who"},{"startTime":366.963,"endTime":368.444,"body":"stayed at home with young children"},{"startTime":369.184,"endTime":371.625,"body":"reported significantly higher levels of"},{"startTime":371.746,"endTime":374.327,"body":"sadness and anger and were much more"},{"startTime":374.387,"endTime":376.868,"body":"likely to be diagnosed with depression."},{"startTime":377.946,"endTime":380.32800000000003,"body":"The American Psychological Association"},{"startTime":380.709,"endTime":383.31100000000004,"body":"then shows that children whose mothers are"},{"startTime":383.391,"endTime":386.093,"body":"chronically stressed are significantly"},{"startTime":386.254,"endTime":389.496,"body":"more likely to have ADHD, depression, and"},{"startTime":389.697,"endTime":392.659,"body":"substance abuse. There have been many"},{"startTime":392.779,"endTime":395.502,"body":"studies on how maternal depression is"},{"startTime":395.582,"endTime":397.884,"body":"correlated with an increased risk of"},{"startTime":397.98400000000004,"endTime":400.206,"body":"children having a developmental delay,"},{"startTime":400.606,"endTime":403.169,"body":"behavioral problems, or other physical"},{"startTime":403.249,"endTime":406.808,"body":"health issues. So again, these are just a"},{"startTime":406.94800000000004,"endTime":409.33,"body":"sample of the many statistics out there."},{"startTime":409.35,"endTime":414.154,"body":"And I want to pause to underscore what a"},{"startTime":414.294,"endTime":416.696,"body":"hard thing this is to hear. It is a"},{"startTime":416.796,"endTime":420.039,"body":"catch-22 because moms often make their"},{"startTime":420.119,"endTime":423.10200000000003,"body":"happiness dependent on how well things are"},{"startTime":423.142,"endTime":425.464,"body":"going at home, how well the house is kept"},{"startTime":425.504,"endTime":427.746,"body":"together, or how good the kids are doing,"},{"startTime":428.18600000000004,"endTime":430.468,"body":"as if those things are judgments on who"},{"startTime":430.569,"endTime":434.421,"body":"you are as a person. Here you are"},{"startTime":434.661,"endTime":438.044,"body":"sacrificing yourself precisely for what"},{"startTime":438.084,"endTime":440.56600000000003,"body":"you think is the good of your family, only"},{"startTime":440.606,"endTime":442.94800000000004,"body":"to be hearing that that could be causing"},{"startTime":443.048,"endTime":446.031,"body":"harm to your kids, if not now then down"},{"startTime":446.071,"endTime":448.974,"body":"the road, in which case your happiness is"},{"startTime":449.014,"endTime":450.875,"body":"then that much farther out of reach"},{"startTime":450.975,"endTime":453.918,"body":"because you're not okay if the kids aren't"},{"startTime":454.01800000000003,"endTime":457.041,"body":"okay and it just becomes a really, really"},{"startTime":457.121,"endTime":460.243,"body":"vicious cycle. That's again why it's so"},{"startTime":460.403,"endTime":463.446,"body":"important to start making changes now. No"},{"startTime":463.486,"endTime":465.988,"body":"matter whether you are a brand new mom or"},{"startTime":466.188,"endTime":469.27,"body":"even an empty nester, you can start today"},{"startTime":469.81100000000004,"endTime":473.533,"body":"to make changes and improve your own"},{"startTime":473.634,"endTime":477.196,"body":"happiness specifically by making more time"},{"startTime":477.336,"endTime":480.919,"body":"for what matters to you. That is one of"},{"startTime":480.959,"endTime":483.301,"body":"the things that is shown to help boost"},{"startTime":483.401,"endTime":487.159,"body":"mental health. On that note, a 2019"},{"startTime":487.639,"endTime":489.7,"body":"article by the Institute for Family"},{"startTime":489.74,"endTime":492.803,"body":"Studies shows that mom's happiness has a"},{"startTime":492.903,"endTime":495.58500000000004,"body":"bigger, more crucial impact on the whole"},{"startTime":495.805,"endTime":498.487,"body":"family's well-being, much more so than"},{"startTime":498.527,"endTime":501.249,"body":"dad's. That's not to say that dad's mental"},{"startTime":501.289,"endTime":503.411,"body":"health and happiness don't matter, just"},{"startTime":503.591,"endTime":506.874,"body":"not as much. This overtime study found"},{"startTime":506.894,"endTime":509.21500000000003,"body":"that the happier moms are in their"},{"startTime":509.255,"endTime":511.777,"body":"relationship with their husband, the more"},{"startTime":511.918,"endTime":513.9789999999999,"body":"likely the couple was to stay together,"},{"startTime":514.4399999999999,"endTime":516.882,"body":"which is then linked to more stability,"},{"startTime":517.222,"endTime":520.244,"body":"less financial stress, and kids better"},{"startTime":520.304,"endTime":522.646,"body":"performance in school. In fact, the"},{"startTime":522.686,"endTime":524.788,"body":"National Institutes of Health show that"},{"startTime":524.8679999999999,"endTime":527.89,"body":"children whose parents divorce have, on"},{"startTime":528.111,"endTime":530.673,"body":"average, lower academic achievement scores"},{"startTime":530.813,"endTime":532.934,"body":"compared to those with married parents."},{"startTime":533.6949999999999,"endTime":536.2769999999999,"body":"This is not to make you feel guilty or"},{"startTime":536.4979999999999,"endTime":538.68,"body":"worried if you're a single mom. I'm just"},{"startTime":538.78,"endTime":541.382,"body":"citing some findings and there are all"},{"startTime":541.442,"endTime":543.3439999999999,"body":"kinds of factors that go into mom's"},{"startTime":543.384,"endTime":545.826,"body":"happiness for sure. It's much more than"},{"startTime":545.9259999999999,"endTime":548.148,"body":"just your relationship with a significant"},{"startTime":548.2479999999999,"endTime":551.0509999999999,"body":"other. But additionally, that Institute"},{"startTime":551.071,"endTime":554.0939999999999,"body":"for Family Studies study found that teens"},{"startTime":554.234,"endTime":557.1569999999999,"body":"with happier moms reported far fewer"},{"startTime":557.197,"endTime":560.419,"body":"mental health problems They were much less"},{"startTime":560.4789999999999,"endTime":563.9399999999999,"body":"likely to engage in risky behavior like"},{"startTime":564.02,"endTime":566.442,"body":"drinking or drugs. It showed that the"},{"startTime":566.522,"endTime":569.003,"body":"happier the mom was throughout the teen's"},{"startTime":569.063,"endTime":572.865,"body":"childhood, the closer relationship she had"},{"startTime":572.925,"endTime":575.426,"body":"with her kids when they became teenagers."},{"startTime":577.147,"endTime":579.908,"body":"Again, I know that all of this can feel"},{"startTime":580.068,"endTime":582.909,"body":"like a lot of pressure and only add to any"},{"startTime":582.969,"endTime":586.151,"body":"mom guilt you might feel like you have to"},{"startTime":586.191,"endTime":587.972,"body":"be happy so that you don't mess up your"},{"startTime":588.032,"endTime":591.87,"body":"kids. That's not the intention here. I"},{"startTime":592.01,"endTime":594.893,"body":"simply mean it as a plea, as a gentle"},{"startTime":594.953,"endTime":597.296,"body":"wake-up call, if you will, that if you're"},{"startTime":597.436,"endTime":601.801,"body":"not happy, you are not alone, but let's do"},{"startTime":601.901,"endTime":605.125,"body":"something about it. Just anecdotally, you"},{"startTime":605.145,"endTime":608.088,"body":"should know that I wasn't happy for a long"},{"startTime":608.188,"endTime":611.65,"body":"time. And I've seen incredible changes for"},{"startTime":611.69,"endTime":614.972,"body":"the better in all areas of my life once I"},{"startTime":615.072,"endTime":617.9540000000001,"body":"started making more time for myself and my"},{"startTime":618.054,"endTime":621.356,"body":"own happiness. Once I really realized and"},{"startTime":621.416,"endTime":623.997,"body":"internalized that it wasn't a trade-off,"},{"startTime":624.017,"endTime":626.919,"body":"that making time for myself didn't have to"},{"startTime":626.999,"endTime":629.52,"body":"come at the cost of being the wife and the"},{"startTime":629.58,"endTime":632.962,"body":"mom I wanted to be. If anything, it's just"},{"startTime":633.042,"endTime":636.644,"body":"made me better. So then how do you make"},{"startTime":636.724,"endTime":640.475,"body":"yourself more happy? It's part mindset,"},{"startTime":640.575,"endTime":643.316,"body":"yes, knowing how your brain works and"},{"startTime":643.5360000000001,"endTime":645.636,"body":"reframing your thoughts to find peace with"},{"startTime":645.856,"endTime":648.557,"body":"all the things you can't control while"},{"startTime":648.617,"endTime":651.977,"body":"taking ownership of what you can. But it"},{"startTime":652.318,"endTime":655.9780000000001,"body":"is also hugely about making more time for"},{"startTime":656.038,"endTime":659.279,"body":"you, for what you enjoy, for a creative"},{"startTime":659.4590000000001,"endTime":661.999,"body":"outlet, a hobby, time with friends,"},{"startTime":662.7,"endTime":666.41,"body":"whatever fills your cup, so to speak. And"},{"startTime":666.671,"endTime":670.855,"body":"it's just about having time apart from the"},{"startTime":670.915,"endTime":673.739,"body":"kids in addition to all of the great time"},{"startTime":673.799,"endTime":677.202,"body":"you are hopefully having with them. It's"},{"startTime":677.242,"endTime":679.545,"body":"about not taking on guilt or making"},{"startTime":679.585,"endTime":682.268,"body":"yourself feel wrong for wanting to do"},{"startTime":682.348,"endTime":684.29,"body":"something other than be with your family."},{"startTime":685.2090000000001,"endTime":687.172,"body":"And it's especially about surrounding"},{"startTime":687.192,"endTime":690.438,"body":"yourself with other women who get it, who"},{"startTime":690.618,"endTime":694.2040000000001,"body":"uplift and inspire you to take better care"},{"startTime":694.304,"endTime":697.57,"body":"of yourself so that you can be that much"},{"startTime":697.69,"endTime":701.135,"body":"better for those you love. Now, making"},{"startTime":701.195,"endTime":703.876,"body":"time for you is what this podcast is all"},{"startTime":703.916,"endTime":706.617,"body":"about. That's the title. But it's way more"},{"startTime":706.657,"endTime":708.738,"body":"than we can fully cover in any single"},{"startTime":708.818,"endTime":711.359,"body":"episode. It is one of those things that"},{"startTime":711.499,"endTime":715.34,"body":"sounds so simple, yet is so, so hard to"},{"startTime":715.38,"endTime":719.2620000000001,"body":"put into practice. Trust me, I know. But"},{"startTime":719.302,"endTime":721.082,"body":"we are going to keep unpacking this and"},{"startTime":721.162,"endTime":724.322,"body":"help you do just that. Your homework for"},{"startTime":724.362,"endTime":727.447,"body":"today is to make two lists. One of all the"},{"startTime":727.487,"endTime":730.592,"body":"things you want more time for, and another"},{"startTime":730.672,"endTime":733.015,"body":"list of all the reasons your brain might"},{"startTime":733.0550000000001,"endTime":735.759,"body":"be offering you as to why those things"},{"startTime":735.98,"endTime":738.723,"body":"aren't feasible. If you want to share"},{"startTime":738.883,"endTime":741.5840000000001,"body":"either or both of your lists with me, you"},{"startTime":741.644,"endTime":744.1850000000001,"body":"can either email me directly using the"},{"startTime":744.225,"endTime":746.585,"body":"link in the show notes or DM me on"},{"startTime":746.665,"endTime":748.846,"body":"Instagram at solutions for simplicity."},{"startTime":749.246,"endTime":751.207,"body":"Join me back next episode where we are"},{"startTime":751.227,"endTime":754.068,"body":"going to dig into the epidemic of martyr"},{"startTime":754.1080000000001,"endTime":757.548,"body":"mentality that is rampant among moms. You"},{"startTime":757.568,"endTime":759.869,"body":"will be amazed to learn where it really"},{"startTime":759.929,"endTime":762.29,"body":"comes from. And as always, we'll talk"},{"startTime":762.35,"endTime":764.931,"body":"about real proven ways to break free of"},{"startTime":764.991,"endTime":767.991,"body":"its harmful grasp. Until then, remember"},{"startTime":768.211,"endTime":770.892,"body":"nothing you do changes how wonderful and"},{"startTime":770.952,"endTime":774.873,"body":"worthy you are. Have a great day. I know"},{"startTime":774.933,"endTime":777.074,"body":"more than anyone how precious your time"},{"startTime":777.214,"endTime":778.995,"body":"is, so the fact that you spent it"},{"startTime":779.195,"endTime":781.475,"body":"listening to this podcast means the world."},{"startTime":781.956,"endTime":784.096,"body":"Make sure to subscribe and if you got"},{"startTime":784.136,"endTime":786.457,"body":"value out of this show, I would be so"},{"startTime":786.6370000000001,"endTime":788.898,"body":"honored if you'd leave a review and share"},{"startTime":788.958,"endTime":791.158,"body":"this episode with another busy mama who"},{"startTime":791.198,"endTime":792.999,"body":"needs to hear it. We've got this."}]}