{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.331,"endTime":2.834,"body":"This episode is undoubtedly controversial"},{"startTime":2.934,"endTime":5.777,"body":"because some of you listening may be"},{"startTime":5.997,"endTime":10.441,"body":"appalled or even offended that a mom would"},{"startTime":10.501,"endTime":12.924,"body":"admit the kinds of things I am about to"},{"startTime":12.984,"endTime":16.067,"body":"say. But they need to be said. Mother's"},{"startTime":16.087,"endTime":18.289,"body":"Day is one of the hardest days of the year"},{"startTime":18.449,"endTime":21.732,"body":"for many moms. If you've ever felt let"},{"startTime":21.772,"endTime":23.394,"body":"down and disappointed on Mother's Day,"},{"startTime":23.794,"endTime":26.456,"body":"then keep listening because we're going to"},{"startTime":26.496,"endTime":29.459,"body":"break apart why and five things you can do"},{"startTime":29.539,"endTime":31.961,"body":"to make it better. Welcome to More Time"},{"startTime":32.001,"endTime":34.203,"body":"for Mom, where overwhelmed moms get"},{"startTime":34.303,"endTime":36.625,"body":"science-backed strategies to overcome the"},{"startTime":36.685,"endTime":38.667,"body":"hidden sources of stress stealing your"},{"startTime":38.727,"endTime":41.509,"body":"time and joy. I'm your host, Dr. Amber"},{"startTime":41.549,"endTime":43.751,"body":"Curtis. Ready to make more time for you?"},{"startTime":44.351,"endTime":48.856,"body":"Let's dive in. Be honest, how do you"},{"startTime":49.056,"endTime":51.797,"body":"really feel about Mother's Day? If it's"},{"startTime":51.857,"endTime":54.399,"body":"not your favorite, or worse, a day that"},{"startTime":54.439,"endTime":57.741,"body":"you dread, you're not alone. I'm secretly"},{"startTime":57.781,"endTime":60.102,"body":"hoping my husband doesn't hear this"},{"startTime":60.202,"endTime":63.143,"body":"episode, because it is a really vulnerable"},{"startTime":63.303,"endTime":66.585,"body":"one, and one I hope you actually can't"},{"startTime":66.765,"endTime":70.267,"body":"relate to, but imagine you will. If you"},{"startTime":70.307,"endTime":72.53,"body":"are listening to this in real time, it is"},{"startTime":72.61,"endTime":75.953,"body":"the Friday before Mother's Day in 2025."},{"startTime":76.634,"endTime":80.337,"body":"And Mother's Day is a day that we build up"},{"startTime":80.417,"endTime":83.08,"body":"in our minds. The media goes crazy with"},{"startTime":83.24,"endTime":86.824,"body":"advertising, but it's often just a letdown"},{"startTime":87.224,"endTime":89.967,"body":"and brings up all your underlying pain and"},{"startTime":90.147,"endTime":93.01,"body":"rubs it in your face. I want to petition"},{"startTime":93.05,"endTime":96.773,"body":"to end Mother's Day. Seriously. There have"},{"startTime":96.813,"endTime":98.914,"body":"been some really sweet moments with my"},{"startTime":98.975,"endTime":101.196,"body":"family over the years, like when my"},{"startTime":101.276,"endTime":103.318,"body":"husband helps my kids fill out those"},{"startTime":103.358,"endTime":106.48,"body":"little worksheets about my mom, or they"},{"startTime":106.52,"endTime":108.382,"body":"bring home some cute little craft they"},{"startTime":108.422,"endTime":110.864,"body":"made from school. But on the whole,"},{"startTime":111.204,"endTime":114.308,"body":"Mother's Day and my birthday usually end"},{"startTime":114.388,"endTime":117.911,"body":"up being days that just make me feel worse"},{"startTime":118.211,"endTime":121.094,"body":"than any other day of the year. And after"},{"startTime":121.154,"endTime":123.717,"body":"talking with hundreds of other women, I"},{"startTime":123.817,"endTime":127.22,"body":"know I'm not alone. No one can possibly"},{"startTime":127.34,"endTime":129.763,"body":"appreciate just how much you have"},{"startTime":129.803,"endTime":132.245,"body":"sacrificed as a mother, how much"},{"startTime":132.425,"endTime":135.248,"body":"motherhood has changed you, how much"},{"startTime":135.408,"endTime":138.511,"body":"you've given of yourself. And if you're"},{"startTime":138.551,"endTime":140.673,"body":"like me, it's not that you want"},{"startTime":140.793,"endTime":143.735,"body":"recognition. You do all you do out of"},{"startTime":143.835,"endTime":146.798,"body":"love. And most of the time, you are glad"},{"startTime":146.858,"endTime":150.341,"body":"to sacrifice for your loved ones. But then"},{"startTime":150.441,"endTime":153.042,"body":"Mother's Day just adds all this trouble"},{"startTime":153.122,"endTime":155.802,"body":"because you are painted this picture of"},{"startTime":155.862,"endTime":158.963,"body":"what the perfect motherhood looks like,"},{"startTime":159.563,"endTime":162.824,"body":"and it's not your reality. Celebrating"},{"startTime":162.864,"endTime":166.045,"body":"that day just adds more pressure, more"},{"startTime":166.165,"endTime":168.805,"body":"unmet expectations, on top of all the"},{"startTime":168.885,"endTime":171.486,"body":"emotions you are already dealing with on a"},{"startTime":171.546,"endTime":173.686,"body":"day-to-day basis. You don't want your"},{"startTime":173.766,"endTime":176.467,"body":"family to honor you out of obligation and"},{"startTime":176.547,"endTime":179.889,"body":"custom. You want it to be real, genuine,"},{"startTime":180.069,"endTime":183.31,"body":"and spontaneous. You just want every day"},{"startTime":183.71,"endTime":186.972,"body":"to go smoothly, right? Is that too much to"},{"startTime":187.092,"endTime":191.493,"body":"ask for? For your kids not to fight. For"},{"startTime":191.533,"endTime":194.154,"body":"your family to put their clothes in the"},{"startTime":194.194,"endTime":196.796,"body":"dirty clothes hamper, not just strewn"},{"startTime":196.856,"endTime":200.037,"body":"about the floor. For once, just once,"},{"startTime":200.812,"endTime":202.754,"body":"Everyone to like what you made for dinner."},{"startTime":203.394,"endTime":206.877,"body":"For someone else, anyone else, to know the"},{"startTime":207.037,"endTime":209.699,"body":"full weight of your invisible mental load"},{"startTime":210.159,"endTime":212.901,"body":"without you having to explain it to them."},{"startTime":213.602,"endTime":216.744,"body":"For things to stay where you put them. And"},{"startTime":216.864,"endTime":219.066,"body":"kids to not take your tape and your"},{"startTime":219.106,"endTime":221.047,"body":"scissors so that you can't find them when"},{"startTime":221.067,"endTime":224.129,"body":"you go looking. for everyone to sleep"},{"startTime":224.269,"endTime":227.632,"body":"through the night and let you wake up on"},{"startTime":227.672,"endTime":230.494,"body":"your own glorious time, not to them"},{"startTime":230.554,"endTime":233.496,"body":"needing you or to an alarm so you can get"},{"startTime":233.557,"endTime":236.219,"body":"them ready for school. On that note, I"},{"startTime":236.239,"endTime":239.201,"body":"will never understand why Mother's Day was"},{"startTime":239.281,"endTime":241.723,"body":"scheduled in May of all the months in the"},{"startTime":241.763,"endTime":244.345,"body":"year. It's already otherwise known as"},{"startTime":244.525,"endTime":248.768,"body":"Mayhem or Maycember because you have so"},{"startTime":248.868,"endTime":251.63,"body":"much going on with spring sports and"},{"startTime":251.73,"endTime":254.152,"body":"school concerts and Teacher Appreciation"},{"startTime":254.192,"endTime":256.633,"body":"Week and spirit festivities and"},{"startTime":256.853,"endTime":259.676,"body":"end-of-the-year activities. The petty,"},{"startTime":260.056,"endTime":262.418,"body":"crabby, selfish, childish part of me"},{"startTime":262.799,"endTime":266.102,"body":"thinks it's so unfair that Father's Day"},{"startTime":266.162,"endTime":268.604,"body":"comes in the middle of June, which is one"},{"startTime":268.644,"endTime":271.647,"body":"of the nicest, most relaxing months of the"},{"startTime":271.687,"endTime":274.009,"body":"year, right? Why can't those be flipped?"},{"startTime":274.229,"endTime":276.612,"body":"Or why can't Mother's Day be some other"},{"startTime":276.672,"endTime":279.795,"body":"month where there isn't already so much"},{"startTime":279.895,"endTime":282.537,"body":"that you are juggling? A lot of how you"},{"startTime":282.637,"endTime":285.32,"body":"feel about Mother's Day probably comes"},{"startTime":285.4,"endTime":287.843,"body":"from how old your kids are and what your"},{"startTime":287.903,"endTime":290.365,"body":"love language is. If you don't know the"},{"startTime":290.386,"endTime":292.728,"body":"five love languages, I will drop that book"},{"startTime":292.768,"endTime":295.231,"body":"link in the show notes because it is so,"},{"startTime":295.411,"endTime":297.873,"body":"so good and something we'll come back to"},{"startTime":298.053,"endTime":300.395,"body":"in future episodes. Mother's Day is"},{"startTime":300.555,"endTime":304.196,"body":"especially hard for moms who work their"},{"startTime":304.236,"endTime":307.157,"body":"tail off day in, day out and never get a"},{"startTime":307.197,"endTime":310.118,"body":"break. For single moms who don't have"},{"startTime":310.198,"endTime":312.459,"body":"someone to appreciate and share the load"},{"startTime":312.499,"endTime":314.939,"body":"with them on a regular basis, let alone"},{"startTime":315.1,"endTime":317.64,"body":"even on Mother's Day. It's hard if you"},{"startTime":317.68,"endTime":319.621,"body":"have a painful relationship with your"},{"startTime":319.661,"endTime":322.202,"body":"mother and maybe didn't have a great one"},{"startTime":322.282,"endTime":325.242,"body":"growing up. It's hard if you've lost your"},{"startTime":325.282,"endTime":328.063,"body":"mom, so Mother's Day just brings up the"},{"startTime":328.143,"endTime":331.284,"body":"grief of their absence all the more. It's"},{"startTime":331.324,"endTime":333.445,"body":"hard for moms with children who have"},{"startTime":333.505,"endTime":336.366,"body":"special needs or challenges that make you"},{"startTime":336.446,"endTime":339.567,"body":"question your abilities as a mom. It's"},{"startTime":339.587,"endTime":341.627,"body":"hard for women whose kids are grown and"},{"startTime":341.667,"endTime":343.548,"body":"might not be around to celebrate with"},{"startTime":343.608,"endTime":345.848,"body":"them. It's hard for women who so"},{"startTime":399.898,"endTime":402.399,"body":"desperately want to be a mom but, for"},{"startTime":402.439,"endTime":404.88,"body":"whatever reason, aren't able to have kids."},{"startTime":405.6,"endTime":407.963,"body":"This was a struggle that I actually had"},{"startTime":408.14300000000003,"endTime":411.407,"body":"for years, where my husband and I had"},{"startTime":411.827,"endTime":415.13100000000003,"body":"always prayed for a family, but it took us"},{"startTime":415.531,"endTime":418.314,"body":"four plus years to be able to have kids."},{"startTime":418.795,"endTime":421.858,"body":"And in that time, I just bawled my eyes"},{"startTime":421.999,"endTime":425.882,"body":"out. I hated Mother's Day because I would"},{"startTime":425.922,"endTime":428.925,"body":"see all these other moms stand up and get"},{"startTime":428.985,"endTime":431.767,"body":"blessed at church. They might get flowers"},{"startTime":431.907,"endTime":435.17,"body":"or some sort of special gift and, you"},{"startTime":435.55,"endTime":438.39300000000003,"body":"know, all the advertising. It's just such"},{"startTime":438.51300000000003,"endTime":442.076,"body":"a painful reminder of what you want but"},{"startTime":442.156,"endTime":445.258,"body":"don't have. So if you are someone in any"},{"startTime":445.318,"endTime":447.62,"body":"of these situations, I just want you to"},{"startTime":447.66,"endTime":450.983,"body":"know I feel you. I've been there. I've"},{"startTime":451.063,"endTime":455.106,"body":"lost my own mom. It's a hard, hard day for"},{"startTime":455.286,"endTime":457.848,"body":"the vast majority of us. But after"},{"startTime":457.94800000000004,"endTime":460.249,"body":"overcoming our infertility struggles, I've"},{"startTime":460.289,"endTime":463.151,"body":"now swung so far to the other side. I've"},{"startTime":463.19100000000003,"endTime":466.73400000000004,"body":"got four kids, 11 and under, and every day"},{"startTime":467.014,"endTime":471.336,"body":"is just so much. We have no family nearby."},{"startTime":471.777,"endTime":474.217,"body":"Both my and my husband's moms have passed"},{"startTime":474.277,"endTime":476.738,"body":"away. And I know my husband would agree"},{"startTime":476.878,"endTime":479.778,"body":"that parenthood is completely different"},{"startTime":479.918,"endTime":482.319,"body":"than we thought it would be. We are still"},{"startTime":482.579,"endTime":485.099,"body":"really in the thick of it, exhausted,"},{"startTime":485.38,"endTime":487.66,"body":"always trying to catch our breath. And yet"},{"startTime":487.84000000000003,"endTime":491.06100000000004,"body":"life seems to only pile on more and more."},{"startTime":491.481,"endTime":493.701,"body":"So we feel like we're just always caught"},{"startTime":493.761,"endTime":496.822,"body":"off guard by new fire after new fire. I"},{"startTime":496.842,"endTime":498.945,"body":"don't know about you, but if I'm honest,"},{"startTime":499.546,"endTime":502.61,"body":"what I really want for Mother's Day is a"},{"startTime":502.731,"endTime":507.357,"body":"day off. Completely off. And most of the"},{"startTime":507.397,"endTime":510.281,"body":"moms I talk to share the exact same"},{"startTime":510.44100000000003,"endTime":514.145,"body":"desire. You don't want a bath set, a"},{"startTime":514.2049999999999,"endTime":517.126,"body":"kitchen appliance, flowers that just cost"},{"startTime":517.186,"endTime":519.4879999999999,"body":"three times as much as usual because it's"},{"startTime":519.528,"endTime":522.35,"body":"a holiday but then die within a week. You"},{"startTime":522.37,"endTime":524.351,"body":"don't want jewelry that you didn't get to"},{"startTime":524.411,"endTime":527.293,"body":"pick out yourself or a gift card that"},{"startTime":527.333,"endTime":529.614,"body":"you'll just end up using to buy the kids"},{"startTime":529.774,"endTime":533.136,"body":"something. You want a day and night to"},{"startTime":533.196,"endTime":535.898,"body":"yourself. Maybe in a hotel room, right?"},{"startTime":536.018,"endTime":538.319,"body":"But somewhere that you don't have to"},{"startTime":538.459,"endTime":540.98,"body":"anticipate or think about anyone else's"},{"startTime":541.06,"endTime":544.481,"body":"needs, plan, make, or clean up any meals,"},{"startTime":544.961,"endTime":547.942,"body":"take anybody anywhere, entertain anyone,"},{"startTime":548.443,"endTime":551.524,"body":"deal with everybody else's emotions, and"},{"startTime":551.644,"endTime":553.865,"body":"do all the day-to-day stuff you normally"},{"startTime":553.905,"endTime":557.526,"body":"do. Somewhere where your mind finally gets"},{"startTime":557.706,"endTime":560.446,"body":"a real break, so you can hear your own"},{"startTime":560.526,"endTime":563.847,"body":"thoughts, do whatever you want to do, or"},{"startTime":564.067,"endTime":566.908,"body":"zone out doing nothing and not feel bad"},{"startTime":566.948,"endTime":570.129,"body":"about it, where you can sleep, right? The"},{"startTime":570.169,"endTime":573.87,"body":"kind of deep, restorative sleep that only"},{"startTime":574.01,"endTime":576.75,"body":"comes when you know you don't have to be"},{"startTime":576.87,"endTime":579.511,"body":"on alert for anything. It's such a luxury."},{"startTime":580.4110000000001,"endTime":582.712,"body":"And then where you get to come home and"},{"startTime":583.013,"endTime":586.254,"body":"everything is exactly as clean as you left"},{"startTime":586.3340000000001,"endTime":589.076,"body":"it. I know that's not in the cards for me"},{"startTime":589.276,"endTime":592.438,"body":"anytime soon. And the rational part of me"},{"startTime":592.618,"endTime":595.359,"body":"also knows that when that day is a"},{"startTime":595.399,"endTime":598.221,"body":"possibility, I'll just be heartbroken"},{"startTime":598.421,"endTime":601.163,"body":"because it means my kids will be grown up"},{"startTime":601.323,"endTime":604.484,"body":"and won't need me anymore. These days with"},{"startTime":604.544,"endTime":607.865,"body":"young kids are so precious, but they're"},{"startTime":607.985,"endTime":611.967,"body":"also so non-stop. And I really feel like"},{"startTime":612.207,"endTime":616.388,"body":"Mother's Day just rubs your face in it. If"},{"startTime":616.448,"endTime":619.009,"body":"you share this feeling and you're just one"},{"startTime":619.029,"endTime":621.57,"body":"of those people for whom Mother's Day is"},{"startTime":621.65,"endTime":624.872,"body":"hard, Reach out to me, DM me on Instagram"},{"startTime":625.032,"endTime":627.113,"body":"at Solutions for Simplicity, or you can"},{"startTime":627.173,"endTime":628.875,"body":"contact me through the link in the show"},{"startTime":628.9350000000001,"endTime":631.937,"body":"notes. But just know that I get it, and"},{"startTime":632.057,"endTime":635.5,"body":"I'm here with you and for you. We can't"},{"startTime":635.58,"endTime":637.701,"body":"stop Mother's Day from happening. It's a"},{"startTime":637.761,"endTime":639.663,"body":"national holiday, and it's so"},{"startTime":639.743,"endTime":642.965,"body":"well-intentioned. But what can you do to"},{"startTime":643.045,"endTime":645.847,"body":"make Mother's Day feel a little better"},{"startTime":645.907,"endTime":648.95,"body":"this year? Here are five recommendations."},{"startTime":649.865,"endTime":653.807,"body":"Really grieve what you've lost, what never"},{"startTime":653.907,"endTime":658.348,"body":"was, what feels so hard, what's so far"},{"startTime":658.468,"endTime":660.889,"body":"from what you want in this current moment."},{"startTime":661.65,"endTime":664.131,"body":"Allow yourself to mourn the fact that"},{"startTime":664.231,"endTime":668.092,"body":"things do look and feel so different than"},{"startTime":668.172,"endTime":671.033,"body":"how you imagined motherhood would be. Give"},{"startTime":671.073,"endTime":673.9540000000001,"body":"yourself time to journal or take a bath"},{"startTime":674.134,"endTime":678.135,"body":"and cry. Really feel those emotions"},{"startTime":678.4350000000001,"endTime":681.336,"body":"instead of repressing or numbing them. And"},{"startTime":681.376,"endTime":683.196,"body":"again, if you need someone to pour your"},{"startTime":683.236,"endTime":686.157,"body":"heart out to, I am always here. Second"},{"startTime":686.177,"endTime":688.678,"body":"thing to do, and I'm just offering this,"},{"startTime":688.878,"endTime":691.338,"body":"but it's what I've come to do because"},{"startTime":691.558,"endTime":694.699,"body":"otherwise Mother's Day and my birthday can"},{"startTime":694.819,"endTime":698.701,"body":"just feel too painful. That is, consider"},{"startTime":698.761,"endTime":701.864,"body":"it just like any other normal day. It"},{"startTime":701.944,"endTime":703.825,"body":"really comes down to a concept called"},{"startTime":704.125,"endTime":707.548,"body":"relative deprivation, which is feeling"},{"startTime":707.648,"endTime":711.471,"body":"discontent or dissatisfied because of the"},{"startTime":711.611,"endTime":714.934,"body":"gap between how you think things should be"},{"startTime":715.575,"endTime":718.998,"body":"and how they are. It doesn't matter how"},{"startTime":719.038,"endTime":721.861,"body":"much you have or how objectively good"},{"startTime":721.961,"endTime":724.905,"body":"things are in absolute terms. It's all"},{"startTime":724.945,"endTime":728.469,"body":"about your perceptions based on social"},{"startTime":728.529,"endTime":731.172,"body":"comparison and expectations, whether"},{"startTime":731.192,"endTime":733.434,"body":"that's comparing your current reality to"},{"startTime":733.474,"endTime":736.558,"body":"what someone else has, to what you used to"},{"startTime":736.618,"endTime":739.981,"body":"have, maybe before kids, or to how you"},{"startTime":740.141,"endTime":742.864,"body":"thought things would be in this moment."},{"startTime":743.585,"endTime":746.227,"body":"When your life doesn't look and feel like"},{"startTime":746.328,"endTime":749.351,"body":"what you see others having, or match the"},{"startTime":749.391,"endTime":751.513,"body":"depiction you had painted in your mind"},{"startTime":751.553,"endTime":753.4350000000001,"body":"when you were a child dreaming of these"},{"startTime":753.495,"endTime":757.197,"body":"days, then it's normal to feel deprived"},{"startTime":757.397,"endTime":759.8580000000001,"body":"and discouraged that things aren't what"},{"startTime":759.918,"endTime":762.559,"body":"you thought they would be. And don't feel"},{"startTime":762.619,"endTime":764.9590000000001,"body":"bad about that. This is just a normal"},{"startTime":765.019,"endTime":767.92,"body":"thing that your brain does, even though"},{"startTime":768.16,"endTime":770.421,"body":"there's plenty of other room in your brain"},{"startTime":770.761,"endTime":773.202,"body":"for recognizing your blessings and"},{"startTime":773.242,"endTime":776.683,"body":"appreciating how good you do have it. The"},{"startTime":776.743,"endTime":780.086,"body":"bottom line is that things feel so much"},{"startTime":780.246,"endTime":783.288,"body":"worse when reality falls short of what"},{"startTime":783.508,"endTime":786.29,"body":"feels right, of what you thought things"},{"startTime":786.63,"endTime":790.453,"body":"should or would be. So give yourself"},{"startTime":790.653,"endTime":793.975,"body":"permission for Mother's Day to be however"},{"startTime":794.035,"endTime":797.1370000000001,"body":"it's going to be. Maybe don't have high"},{"startTime":797.237,"endTime":799.399,"body":"expectations, right? Really set the bar"},{"startTime":799.4590000000001,"endTime":802.901,"body":"low. Just think of it as any other normal"},{"startTime":802.941,"endTime":806.045,"body":"day of the week. Don't expect special"},{"startTime":806.125,"endTime":808.667,"body":"gestures or gifts. If it's really"},{"startTime":808.727,"endTime":811.309,"body":"important to you that you are recognized,"},{"startTime":811.73,"endTime":814.672,"body":"then the third tip I have for you is to be"},{"startTime":814.912,"endTime":818.716,"body":"very explicit in asking for what you want."},{"startTime":819.376,"endTime":821.759,"body":"If you know how you want your family to"},{"startTime":821.819,"endTime":823.88,"body":"recognize and honor you for Mother's Day,"},{"startTime":824.321,"endTime":828.0840000000001,"body":"then be extremely clear about that. But"},{"startTime":828.124,"endTime":830.946,"body":"that's still so hard to do. So the real"},{"startTime":831.066,"endTime":834.389,"body":"tip and the way around that is to simply"},{"startTime":834.669,"endTime":838.0310000000001,"body":"celebrate yourself. One of the recurring"},{"startTime":838.111,"endTime":840.9540000000001,"body":"themes you will hear on this show is that"},{"startTime":841.134,"endTime":845.517,"body":"you are the only one responsible for your"},{"startTime":845.677,"endTime":849.482,"body":"own feelings. This is a hard truth to take"},{"startTime":849.502,"endTime":852.126,"body":"in and one I have really wrestled with."},{"startTime":852.206,"endTime":855.391,"body":"I've really learned the hard way. But the"},{"startTime":855.431,"endTime":859.016,"body":"reality is that it's not anyone else's job"},{"startTime":859.196,"endTime":862.462,"body":"to make you happy. It's not your husband's"},{"startTime":862.502,"endTime":866.626,"body":"job. It's not your kid's job. It's yours."},{"startTime":867.2860000000001,"endTime":870.529,"body":"And the blessing, the benefit here is that"},{"startTime":870.589,"endTime":874.352,"body":"it feels so good when others do recognize"},{"startTime":874.412,"endTime":877.015,"body":"and appreciate you. But you don't have to"},{"startTime":877.115,"endTime":880.298,"body":"wait for them to do that. And you also"},{"startTime":880.618,"endTime":882.82,"body":"can't make the fact that they haven't"},{"startTime":883.6,"endTime":886.442,"body":"imply that they don't. Your brain wants to"},{"startTime":886.582,"endTime":890.423,"body":"jump to conclusions and sulk and feel so"},{"startTime":890.523,"endTime":893.684,"body":"bad for yourself when others don't seem to"},{"startTime":893.784,"endTime":896.625,"body":"see and appreciate you. But that's not"},{"startTime":896.925,"endTime":899.486,"body":"probably what's going on at all. And we"},{"startTime":899.526,"endTime":901.787,"body":"just want to really always honor that"},{"startTime":901.867,"endTime":905.308,"body":"people are doing their best. And for so"},{"startTime":905.368,"endTime":908.789,"body":"many reasons, our families are doing what"},{"startTime":908.869,"endTime":911.73,"body":"they are able to do. If it doesn't feel"},{"startTime":911.95,"endTime":915.152,"body":"good to you, then you need to make it feel"},{"startTime":915.292,"endTime":918.115,"body":"better for yourself. If there is something"},{"startTime":918.155,"endTime":921.299,"body":"that you want, find a way to afford it and"},{"startTime":921.339,"endTime":924.342,"body":"go buy it for yourself. Don't just drop"},{"startTime":924.402,"endTime":927.265,"body":"hints or hope and then throw a pity party"},{"startTime":927.325,"endTime":929.147,"body":"because no one gave it to you. I've so"},{"startTime":929.207,"endTime":931.569,"body":"done that in the past. If there is"},{"startTime":931.63,"endTime":934.5310000000001,"body":"something that you want to do, like get a"},{"startTime":934.572,"endTime":937.554,"body":"massage or a nice meal you didn't have to"},{"startTime":937.634,"endTime":941.916,"body":"cook, go get it. It may be unlikely that"},{"startTime":941.976,"endTime":944.418,"body":"Mother's Day will be a super special day,"},{"startTime":944.898,"endTime":949.041,"body":"but you can plan another day that you do"},{"startTime":949.141,"endTime":951.123,"body":"the things you want to do for yourself."},{"startTime":951.763,"endTime":954.926,"body":"Put it on your calendar now. If not on"},{"startTime":954.966,"endTime":957.6080000000001,"body":"Mother's Day, when are you going to make"},{"startTime":957.668,"endTime":960.41,"body":"it happen? And then ask for the help you"},{"startTime":960.49,"endTime":962.973,"body":"need with the kids to make that possible."},{"startTime":963.553,"endTime":965.855,"body":"Don't feel guilty about letting someone"},{"startTime":965.975,"endTime":968.537,"body":"else step in to be with them, because the"},{"startTime":968.6370000000001,"endTime":971.44,"body":"more happy and refreshed you come back,"},{"startTime":971.92,"endTime":974.723,"body":"the better off the whole family will be."},{"startTime":975.263,"endTime":978.186,"body":"Tip number four is to find the balance"},{"startTime":978.306,"endTime":983.05,"body":"between toxic positivity and gratitude. If"},{"startTime":983.09,"endTime":985.953,"body":"you are lucky enough to be a mom, you,"},{"startTime":986.173,"endTime":989.617,"body":"like me, probably feel horrible for"},{"startTime":989.817,"endTime":992.279,"body":"admitting that there are parts of"},{"startTime":992.339,"endTime":994.361,"body":"motherhood you don't love, like Mother's"},{"startTime":994.421,"endTime":998.543,"body":"Day. and then you shame yourself for not"},{"startTime":998.643,"endTime":1002.184,"body":"appreciating your blessings more. But you"},{"startTime":1002.324,"endTime":1004.985,"body":"can be grateful for your incredible kids"},{"startTime":1005.6850000000001,"endTime":1008.546,"body":"and mourn that mom life isn't how you"},{"startTime":1008.586,"endTime":1011.447,"body":"dreamed. You can be thankful for what you"},{"startTime":1011.5070000000001,"endTime":1015.708,"body":"have and sad about what you don't. You can"},{"startTime":1015.828,"endTime":1018.869,"body":"love your family with your whole heart and"},{"startTime":1019.089,"endTime":1022.01,"body":"still feel heartbroken because it's so"},{"startTime":1022.11,"endTime":1025.251,"body":"hard and lonely. I promise you are not"},{"startTime":1025.3909999999998,"endTime":1028.572,"body":"alone. The final tip is to remember that"},{"startTime":1028.712,"endTime":1031.633,"body":"Mother's Day is just one day out of 365,"},{"startTime":1031.773,"endTime":1034.8139999999999,"body":"right? Maybe two days a year if you're"},{"startTime":1034.854,"endTime":1037.494,"body":"counting your birthday. But it will pass."},{"startTime":1038.154,"endTime":1041.9959999999999,"body":"Try not to care so much about how any one"},{"startTime":1042.056,"endTime":1044.816,"body":"day goes. I know you've heard it before,"},{"startTime":1045.0159999999998,"endTime":1048.378,"body":"but it's so true. The days are long, but"},{"startTime":1048.4379999999999,"endTime":1051.558,"body":"the years are short. You know you're going"},{"startTime":1051.599,"endTime":1055.48,"body":"to look back and miss this. So use that as"},{"startTime":1055.68,"endTime":1059.521,"body":"inspiration and motivation to find ways of"},{"startTime":1059.661,"endTime":1062.042,"body":"making it more enjoyable for yourself"},{"startTime":1062.502,"endTime":1064.943,"body":"along the way. Your homework for this"},{"startTime":1065.043,"endTime":1068.164,"body":"episode is to treat yourself how you want"},{"startTime":1068.204,"endTime":1070.444,"body":"to be treated for Mother's Day, whether"},{"startTime":1070.504,"endTime":1073.205,"body":"that's on Mother's Day or not. What"},{"startTime":1073.405,"endTime":1076.426,"body":"self-love can you show yourself out of"},{"startTime":1076.4859999999999,"endTime":1079.327,"body":"Thanksgiving for all you do? And really"},{"startTime":1079.367,"endTime":1082.108,"body":"get honest with yourself. What do you"},{"startTime":1082.208,"endTime":1086.249,"body":"want? What do you really desire? Why do"},{"startTime":1086.31,"endTime":1089.209,"body":"you want those things? How is it you think"},{"startTime":1089.249,"endTime":1093.05,"body":"you will feel because of them? And are"},{"startTime":1093.13,"endTime":1096.251,"body":"there any ways that you can create those"},{"startTime":1096.471,"endTime":1099.612,"body":"feelings for yourself now, even without"},{"startTime":1099.692,"endTime":1101.753,"body":"having those things? All right, sweet"},{"startTime":1101.773,"endTime":1105.053,"body":"mama, I hope that was helpful. I am still,"},{"startTime":1105.473,"endTime":1107.914,"body":"again, really wrestling with this myself,"},{"startTime":1108.394,"endTime":1110.735,"body":"wishing that I could just fast forward and"},{"startTime":1110.795,"endTime":1113.636,"body":"get on to next week and skip over Mother's"},{"startTime":1113.676,"endTime":1117.54,"body":"Day altogether. But we can't, right? Above"},{"startTime":1117.76,"endTime":1120.445,"body":"all, we have to realize that how we feel"},{"startTime":1120.585,"endTime":1123.59,"body":"on Mother's Day, how we make Mother's Day"},{"startTime":1123.891,"endTime":1128.408,"body":"make us feel, is on us. You get to"},{"startTime":1128.468,"endTime":1131.529,"body":"choose how high you set your hopes, how"},{"startTime":1131.609,"endTime":1134.47,"body":"you react to whatever your family does or"},{"startTime":1134.55,"endTime":1137.431,"body":"doesn't do to celebrate you, how"},{"startTime":1137.711,"endTime":1140.251,"body":"disappointed you let yourself feel if"},{"startTime":1140.431,"endTime":1142.972,"body":"Mother's Day ends up being just another"},{"startTime":1143.032,"endTime":1146.133,"body":"day of carrying the brutally heavy load"},{"startTime":1146.173,"endTime":1149.074,"body":"that you do. You have the power to"},{"startTime":1149.174,"endTime":1152.475,"body":"recognize and celebrate yourself, to know"},{"startTime":1152.555,"endTime":1154.835,"body":"that you're an awesome mom no matter what"},{"startTime":1154.875,"endTime":1158.117,"body":"your kids think, say, or do, and to claim"},{"startTime":1158.277,"endTime":1161.119,"body":"a different day for yourself, one where"},{"startTime":1161.159,"endTime":1164.921,"body":"you can really do what you want. We are in"},{"startTime":1164.961,"endTime":1168.624,"body":"this together. I see you. I appreciate"},{"startTime":1168.684,"endTime":1171.646,"body":"you. And make sure you join me back next"},{"startTime":1171.786,"endTime":1174.068,"body":"episode, where we are going to talk about"},{"startTime":1174.308,"endTime":1177.851,"body":"three things you need more than time in"},{"startTime":1178.051,"endTime":1181.193,"body":"order to really be productive. Until then,"},{"startTime":1181.393,"endTime":1184.315,"body":"remember nothing you do changes how"},{"startTime":1184.415,"endTime":1187.297,"body":"wonderful and worthy you are. Have a great"},{"startTime":1187.337,"endTime":1190.259,"body":"day. I know more than anyone how precious"},{"startTime":1190.299,"endTime":1192.561,"body":"your time is, so the fact that you spent"},{"startTime":1192.621,"endTime":1194.762,"body":"it listening to this podcast means the"},{"startTime":1194.8220000000001,"endTime":1197.544,"body":"world. Make sure to subscribe and if you"},{"startTime":1197.584,"endTime":1200.146,"body":"got value out of this show, I would be so"},{"startTime":1200.326,"endTime":1202.567,"body":"honored if you'd leave a review and share"},{"startTime":1202.627,"endTime":1204.849,"body":"this episode with another busy mama who"},{"startTime":1204.869,"endTime":1206.67,"body":"needs to hear it. We've got this."}]}