Navigating BIG Back-to-School Emotions

Transitions like back to school season bring up all kinds of emotions—for you and your kids.

In this episode, I review all kinds of transitions moms can face and normalize how stressful and emotional transitions can be, even when they’re “good” change. Using going back to school as an example, I review the many conflicting feelings you might experience and how important it is to acknowledge and process them.    

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:

• Why the back to school season can feel so stressful
• Four kinds of reactions moms might have this time of year
• 30+ different kinds of transitions you might encounter throughout parenting
• 11+ different emotions that naturally occur whenever things change
• Why it’s so crucial to learn the skill of emotional regulation to help yourself (and your kids!) navigate challenging times

JOIN MY FREE MASTERCLASS:

Sign up for my FREE masterclass: “Transitions Without Turmoil: A 4-Step Framework to Graceful Change” happening August 15, 2025 at 12pm Eastern. (Replay included.)

FOR SO MUCH MORE:

Ready to take radical responsibility for your own happiness so your kids see you living your best life and know that’s possible for them, too? The Happy Mom ProtocolTM will fundamentally change your perspective on prioritizing your happiness above all else and equips you with six simple “Happiness Habits” that are scientifically PROVEN to help you be significantly happier in just seven days!

Join the Moms Making TimeTM Society to get the structure, resources, motivation, accountability, and SUPPORT you need to reclaim your time, rediscover yourself, and reignite your joy so your whole family can flourish. Every month you’ll be guided through a new personal development theme based on the life-changing principles of seasonal living.

HOMEWORK:

Your homework for this episode is to identify what transitions you are presently going through or have coming up soon, and then reflect on the many emotions you might have about them. DM me on Instagram @solutionsforsimplicity or email me to let me know what comes up for you.  

COMING UP NEXT:

 Join me back next episode to continue unpacking the many hidden sources of stress stealing your time and joy.

CONNECT WITH AMBER: Website | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn

Ready to finally get to the root of your problems and change your life FOR GOOD? Book your free 60-minute consult to learn more about working 1:1 with Dr. Amber.

Transcript

0:00

Here is your friendly reminder that all change, even good change, is still incredibly hard because your brain subconsciously perceives it as a threat. You come to know and love what is familiar, so any disruption to routine, any adjustment to expectations, and any life event can evoke a big emotional reaction, if not from you, then from your kids. But I'm here to help guide you through it. Welcome to More Time for Mom, where overwhelmed moms get science-backed strategies to overcome the hidden sources of stress stealing your time and joy. I'm your host, Dr. Amber Curtis. Ready to make more time for you? Let's dive in. How are you feeling about the back to school season? There are so many different emotions that come up this time of year. So in this episode, I want to really normalize that and guide you through not just what to expect, but how to make it even easier. We are delving into why transitions feel so hard and lots of examples of the kinds of transitions moms face of which kids going back to school is just one. I'm going to review why transitions bring up such a rollercoaster of emotions and equip you with a really helpful free masterclass that's going to help put it all in perspective. If you are listening to this podcast in real time, it is Monday, August 4th. Some schools are starting back. My kid's school starts back next week. In my mind, summer doesn't officially end until after Labor Day, so if you are one of the lucky ones whose kids' school doesn't start back until then, I am thoroughly jealous. But for most of us, this is one of those things that we don't have a lot of control over, unless you homeschool or your kids are young enough to not be in school, the academic calendar really does regulate your life. I find that moms have very different perspectives on whether the back to school season is good or bad. There are firstly the moms who cannot wait for their kids to get back to school. They might be going crazy after a summer with kids home and feeling like everything is out of routine, unstructured, kids have just had way too much screen time because it's too hot to go outside. These kinds of moms are really craving the structure and the regimen that goes along with having a normal school schedule. The second kind of mom I encounter is the one who is in denial that school is starting back soon. This mom is loving the go-with-the-flow time with her family, really leaning into being able to make up their own schedule, not have to run out the door. School can bring up so many negative emotions that she just doesn't even want to think about it. The third mom I see is the one who is filled with anxiety and dread. She may be glad that school is starting up again or not, it doesn't really matter, but one way or another, she is a realist and she knows that because school is starting back, that means all kinds of battles, like making sure the kids are up on time, everyone remembers their lunch, and Has shoes as you're headed out the door. And then, of course, we could go on and on about the homework battles or test anxiety that come up during the school year. It can be really rough. And then the fourth type of mom I see is the one who doesn't have young kids anymore. The back to school season doesn't necessarily apply to you, and it could bring up a lot of emotions that you're not in that younger season of life. Or maybe it feels extra raw because you are sending your first or your last kid off to college and beginning the transition into a quote unquote empty nest. I hate that term, but you know what I mean. Going back to school is just one example of a transition that you might find yourself in any time. The benefit of the back to school season is that you do know it's coming, and it's usually around the same time every single year, so it doesn't catch you as off guard as some of these other kinds of transitions. Let me give you a whole bunch of examples of real life transitions moms face, because as we will soon talk about, the emotions are relatively similar regardless of the specific situation you are in. We firstly have family and parenting transitions, like becoming a mom for the first time, adding another child to the family, sending your child to daycare or preschool, navigating school transitions from elementary age to middle school to high school, sending your child to college or launching them into adulthood, Having a child get diagnosed with some sort of medical condition or special need. Parenting through puberty and adolescence. Coping with that empty nest we just talked about. Or becoming a grandparent. Then there are life and identity shifts. like returning to work after maternity leave, shifting from full-time to part-time work or vice versa, starting a new job or career path, maybe leaving a job to stay home, deciding to start a business and become an entrepreneur, relocating to a new home or a new city or new country, ending a significant friendship, or outgrowing your old social circle. Experiencing a personal identity crisis or period of reinvention where you're trying to figure out who you even are anymore. Milestone birthdays like turning 30, 40, 50 plus. Those naturally bring up such a time of reflection. And then experiencing changes in your own health or maybe being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Lastly, there are big emotional and relational transitions that you might go through, like separation or divorce, and maybe not for you, but for another loved one or your own parents. navigating blended family dynamics or remarriage, coping with the loss of a loved one, caring for your aging parents, managing mental health challenges like burnout or depression, just generally feeling lost in motherhood, and then rebuilding after that kind of burnout. So again, the back to school season is just one kind of transition. But the whole point is that any transition, any change, any big alteration in your life circumstances brings a natural rollercoaster of emotions, especially for moms. Today, I just want to break down some of the most common and as you will see, conflicting feelings that you may experience because I want to normalize them and I want to help you realize that if you are struggling and if you are feeling any of these emotions, you are so not alone. So we're going to talk about all these emotions in the context of the back to school transition. But again, that's just the example we are using. Insert whatever transition is applicable for your life or return to this episode if and when you have another kind of transition and apply the same methodology. The first emotion you might feel is relief that finally you can get back into routine, maybe have some peace and quiet. And one way or another, this emotion of relief is just knowing that something is going to stabilize. Perhaps after a long summer of juggling kids at home, you know, you might feel really relieved to regain some time in your day or at least a little bit of perceived mental space as your kids are then out in someone else's care. And that gives you a little bit of a break in your caregiving intensity. But then you might also feel sadness. You might immediately miss your kids and just really ache to be with them, feel like you're missing out on their moments of the day because they go off to school and you don't really know what's happening for them. The house can suddenly feel too quiet. And this is especially noticeable if you are experiencing one of those big milestone transitions like sending your first kid to kindergarten or your child off to college. Thirdly, you really shouldn't, but you might feel guilt, right? You might feel guilty that you're glad they've gone back to school and that you're happy to have some time and peace and quiet to yourself. A lot of moms really wrestle with guilt over enjoying the predictability and the time to themselves during the school year. And then they also might feel guilty wishing that the summer had gone differently. This can be different for every unique situation. But as I've said before, mom guilt is just so vicious and it really comes up for every mom at so many different times, trying to steal your joy and make you feel guilty for things that you really have no need to feel guilty over. One of the most common emotions that goes along with any transition is overwhelm. In the case of going back to school, there is so much to organize. The logistical demands of a new school year often feel like a whole second job. You have to fill out all kinds of paperwork, coordinate all the school supplies, figure out lunches and snacks, make sure you get everyone signed up for activities, and get all the equipment they might need, and get the doctor to sign off that they're approved to play sports. and then there's homework and calendars and all of the teacher and school communication emails. It is so much and I for sure am feeling bombarded by this even though it's not my first rodeo and part of me really even enjoys the back to school shopping and things like that. It's just logistically so much to manage in your mind. And so it's normal that that occupies your brain and causes you a lot of stress because it's rumbling around in your head and preventing you from even enjoying the last little bit of time you get with your kids before you send them back to school. Sending your kids back to school might bring up nostalgia for you, where you think back to your childhood memories. Or maybe you start to worry that your kids are growing up too fast. You take those first day of school photos and you watch your child walk into a new grade. It can trigger such tender memories. of when they were younger, and then really fill you with that sense of time flying by. You worry, like, am I appreciating all of this enough? And how have they gotten so big? And oh my goodness, next thing you know, they're going to be moving out, right? We often tend to make what's called the fast forward error, where your brain automatically jumps to the future and assumes that things are going to be a certain way, overlooking how much time there actually is for intentionality and enjoyment between now and then. I would imagine you, like me, are filled with anxiety, wondering, are they going to be okay without me? How are they going to perform in this environment? Is the teacher going to like them? Are they going to make new friends? Is everybody going to get along? It just goes on and on. But you, as the mother, so beautifully often worry about how your child will adjust academically, socially, or emotionally. So you're feeling their feelings and your own. You might feel ambivalence and feel both excited and sad, energized and exhausted. Or, you know, maybe once your kids are finally back in school, then you have so much you're dying to get to, but you just feel paralyzed because there's so much you've put on hold for so long that now you don't even know where to start. It is so common to hold many feelings at once, and that's okay. Don't ever make that wrong. A lot of moms get very hopeful and really idealize the fresh start that a new school year presents. It's like a natural reset where you have the chance to do things differently, maybe more mindfully, put better systems in place. You're hopefully feeling very empowered that now, with the kids occupied during the day, you can rediscover your personal space, make some traction on your own goals, and carve out that elusive you time that you probably didn't get over the summer. So many moms feel frustrated, particularly because the mental load spikes during this season. And it can really highlight existing inequalities in parenting responsibilities. You're just so frustrated that it seems everything falls on you. And you know that's not true. But it is, as we said, logistically, just so much for moms to manage. And a lot of what you're doing goes unnoticed or seemingly unappreciated. Lastly, I see so many moms put immense pressure on themselves that they've got to get it right from the start or there is one right way to do this, especially when you are sending your first child, say, to preschool or kindergarten or, again, another big transition like sending your child off to college. You've idealized this moment in your mind and you want it to live up to expectations, so if it starts to deviate from that, then it's really normal to feel discouraged. I could go on and on. There are so many different emotions that I know I'm experiencing and my one-on-one clients are as well. The whole point is that any transition is hard. It's new. It's unfamiliar. And even when there is some semblance of familiarity, right, like going back to school, you've probably done it before, or there are other people that have done it and can offer advice and be there to help and support you. But no matter what, you're rarely ready for the transition when it occurs. It's this impending deadline where you know it's coming, but it's a lot to build up to. And then sometimes there are those very unexpected transitions that seem to come out of nowhere and really knock you down. No matter how much you plan and prepare, you rarely anticipate everything they entail. In case it's not obvious, I spend so much time thinking about you and thinking about All of the struggles that we moms go through at every different stage, and then I work with so many women in so many different seasons of life, and my advice is always the same, that it really comes down to reflecting on how you feel and recognizing that your emotions are signals of deeper subconscious thoughts and beliefs that you might not even realize you have. I am so big on helping you actually acknowledge and process your emotions, whatever they are. I think so many women rarely let themselves go to the full extent of joy and celebration and appreciation of all the good emotions, and then they definitely try to numb or repress or dissociate from the negative emotions that come up because you were never allowed to feel those things. without feeling like an outcast or being judged or seeming to make someone else unhappy. A lot of women have just never learned how to handle their emotions, good or bad. That's one of many things I am so passionate about helping you learn to do. Because if you don't process your emotions, they just fester and come out in some other way, whether it's an emotional outburst or a physical issue, chronic disease. There is so much research that repressing your emotions as a woman can lead to chronic illness. And after watching my mom go through that, I'm just so fired up about this because The skill of emotional regulation is one that I can almost guarantee you were not taught. I sure wasn't taught it. But as I've learned it, I'm so determined to now incorporate this into my parenting and help my kids learn not to fear any emotion, but to process and re-regulate their nervous systems regardless of what it is. Here is your friendly reminder that all change, even good change, is still incredibly hard because your brain subconsciously perceives it as a threat. You come to know and love what is familiar, so any disruption to routine, any adjustment to expectations, and any life event can evoke a big emotional reaction, if not from you, then from your kids. But I'm here to help guide you through it. There are so many resources out there that are pushing you organization tips, scheduling strategies, and school supply hacks, but I really want to go deeper. I want to help you understand what's happening in your nervous system when you are going through a transition, whether that's back to school, moving, starting a new job, adding a new baby, switching daycares, I want to equip you with my signature science-backed framework for navigating transitions with as much peace, joy, and grace as possible so that you and your family come out all the better for it. That's why I'm hosting a free one-hour masterclass on Friday, August 15th, 2025 at 12 p.m. Eastern. There is, of course, a replay available if you can't make it live. The masterclass is officially titled Transitions Without Turmoil. a four-step framework for graceful change. You are so invited to attend. I will, of course, put that link in the show notes. Your homework is to identify what transitions you are presently going through or have coming up soon and then reflect on the many emotions you might have about them. Don't forget to sign up for my free masterclass as well. And do me a big favor, please, please, please share this episode with another mom that is struggling with the back to school transition so that she can get the support she needs too. Join me back next Tuesday for another episode of the More Time for Mom podcast. Until then, remember nothing you do changes how wonderful and worthy you are. Have a great day.