What’s Life Coaching Like? Behind the Scenes of a REAL Call with an Overwhelmed Mom

What is life coaching really like, and is it actually worth it? In this special behind-the-scenes episode, I’m sharing (with a client’s generous permission) a REAL coaching session so you can hear exactly how a powerful breakthrough unfolds in real time. If you’ve ever wondered what happens on a coaching call and whether personalized support could help you, this episode pulls back the curtain to show you my coaching in action.

What starts as a simple weight loss question reveals deeper emotional wounds around body image, infertility, shame, and self-worth. Just one compassionate coaching conversation creates a profound emotional and mindset shift. This episode will help you understand how my trauma-informed life coaching works, why nervous system safety matters for behavior change, and why goals must always come from self-love—not pressure or self-criticism. You’ll see what’s possible when you’re truly seen, held, and supported by a coach who cares. 

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:

• “Surface goals” are always rooted in deeper emotional stories; coaching helps uncover what’s really driving your struggles and desires
• Unprocessed past experiences subconsciously shape how you see and feel about your body
• Coaching is not about getting advice; it's about shifting and expanding your perspective through skillful questions and emotional attunement
• Emotional release is not weakness; it’s nervous system healing in action
• “Unhealthy” habits are actually your nervous system’s coping strategies—not character flaws
• You cannot outthink your nervous system! Real change only happens when your body feels safe, not pressured

FOR SO MUCH MORE:

Book a free consult to learn more about healing your nervous system so stress no longer sabotages you—or your relationships: https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult)

Get on the waitlist for the next round of my 6-week program, Moms Made NewTM to learn the six most powerful life coaching tools every mom needs so that you and your family can flourish: https://solutionsforsimplicity.myflodesk.com/mmn-waitlist

HOMEWORK:

Let me know if this episode resonates! Share your thoughts with me via email through the link in the show notes or DM me on Instagram @solutionsforsimplicity. 

COMING UP NEXT:

Join me back for a new episode next Tuesday at 5am Eastern to keep unpacking the hidden sources of stress stealing your time and joy.

Don't miss my LIVE masterclass on "13 Things Nobody's Telling You About Your Nervous System" on Thursday, July 9th at 3pm Eastern. Use code EARLYBIRD13 for $20off through June 30th. Sign up here: https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/

Loving this podcast? Please help it get found by more listeners by taking quick minute to leave a rating & review in Apple Podcasts. Take a screenshot of your text review before you submit it, then email that to help@solutionsforsimplicity.com and I'll send you my powerful Happy Mom Protocol™ (a $297 value) FOR FREE!

CONNECT WITH AMBER: Website | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn 

Ready to finally get to the root of your problems and change your life FOR GOOD? Book your free 60-minute consult to learn more about working 1:1 with Dr. Amber.

Transcript

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If you've ever wondered whether coaching is worth it or what it would be like to get personalized one-on-one support, you are going to love today's episode. Welcome to More Time for Mom, where overwhelmed moms get science-backed strategies to overcome the hidden sources of stress stealing your time and joy. I'm your host, Dr. Amber Curtis. Ready to make more time for you? Let's dive in. With permission, I am sharing the behind-the-scenes coaching I gave one of my clients so you can see how profound a shift is possible in just one call with me. If you didn't already know, I am a certified life coach and trauma-informed neurosomatic expert, which means I am trained in all things psychology, neuroscience, how trauma lives in the body, and so much more. You are so, so invited to use the link in the show notes to book a free 60-minute consult to get clarity on whatever might be stressing you out these days. But I know when I first heard of coaching, I was initially so sure I didn't need it and prided myself on being someone who always figured things out on her own. I learned the hard way how doing that actually cost me way more in time, energy, and tears, and that there was so much I would never figure out myself because as I now know, your own nervous system will always protect you from change and growth until it actually has the safety and capacity to do so. Even once I was finally open to the idea of coaching, It still seemed vague and confusing, which made it hard for me to see how very, very valuable it is. I want to offer this episode to pull back the curtain and take you inside what it's like to work together, or at least so you can see how powerful life coaching is whether you choose to work with me or someone else. The bottom line is we can only see things through our own perspective. Having an objective outsider willing and wanting to hold space for you, gently offering alternative perspectives, and pointing out the places you might need healing It's incredible. To protect my client's privacy, you are going to hear me recap what she says and then replay my exact response. So you're not only experiencing her transformation in the moment, but getting a sense of how a coaching session flows. I sincerely hope you will listen to the whole episode to get the full effect. In this particular session, my client started by sharing how frustrated she was with her weight and that she didn't like the way her body looked after having two kids. She asked what tips I had for losing weight and getting in shape, something that many of my clients want. I am always looking for what is not being said, for what might be beneath the surface level desire or goal. Take a listen to what I shared with her. It is so so normal, so motivating that we want to look better. And yet, I just love this opportunity and I wanted to really hit this home for myself at the start of my journey too. That is so true. I want to look better. But looking better isn't going to make me a better person. My worth doesn't depend on what I look like or even what I feel like. Because what we feel like is more directly related to how we treat other people. If we feel good in our body, then we have more patience and we're happier and things are better. Whereas when I felt so bad about myself, I just let that kind of spill over negatively into other areas of my life. So even then, right, feeling better. doesn't mean we're a better person. It doesn't increase our worth. I ask you these questions because I want us to talk about how amazing you are and how your worth is already infinite. This isn't going to change your worth. It's just going to help reveal more of the beauty that you know you have to share with the world and for yourself. It's all for your own self more than anything. But we want to start from a place of self-love and appreciation, not shame and judgment, which is a little counterintuitive because I know when I would see my pictures, I'm instantly feeling shame and judgment about myself. And the research is very clear that that kind of shame and judgment doesn't help us stay motivated for the long term. It's more of that extrinsic approval seeking that we might then do something for a little bit, but it's not enough to help us do the really potentially hard things that are required to see big changes. That being said, little changes can result in big changes over time. But again, like we want to just make you feel so good and so motivated from the beginning. I love starting from this place of you are already so incredible. This is not about you or your self-worth. This is just about helping you blossom even more. So let's start with what you do love and appreciate about your body. Not necessarily even what it looks like, but like, what are the good thoughts you have about yourself right now? This is where my client acknowledged how much her body had been through after a miscarriage and two IVF journeys, at which point I said, have you paused to really appreciate all your body carried you through? before, during, and after the IVF and the births and things. She said no and realized she hadn't ever considered the positive side of all her body had done the last several years. She so vulnerably shared that she had always viewed her body as a failure because of her infertility journey, one that I can definitely relate to on a very personal level. She was taken aback and said she'd never even considered how all that had played or was playing into how she felt about her body today, particularly the disappointment or even shame she felt about her current appearance. even if you're not consciously thinking this on a regular basis, you're sharing that you have some negative thoughts about your past body or your past experience and that will always be there until we work through it and help you come to peace with it so that you've emptied out all of the shame or negative emotions you have and are left with just appreciation for yourself and your body. So, gosh, I mean, that goes deep. Are you comfortable starting to explore some of that? Please know that a good coach will never, never force you to explore anything you don't want to. I always ask my clients permission and am gauging their level of comfort not just from what they say, since so many of the women I work with are, like me, classic people pleasers who might feel compelled to say yes. but rather from other visual somatic cues from their body. It is so, so important to tread slowly and gently, particularly in situations like this, because we never want to re-traumatize you or force your body and brain to relive something really painful. That said, when properly supported and in a truly safe space, bringing hidden wounds to light is so freeing. Let's keep going. I always want all this to be okay with you. I know it sometimes doesn't feel okay as we start to delve into hurts and wounds that maybe we've repressed or we're just think we think we've moved past it. But that was a really big breakthrough to realize that you have some thoughts about your body in the past that maybe we haven't come to terms with and we can, right? Let it pour out. What are some of the thoughts you had as you were going through all of that or the thoughts that your brain was offering you in those hard moments, what was it saying? Here's where my client went even deeper into how others, especially in the medical world, had always made her feel like her body had failed because it hadn't been able to get pregnant or sustain a pregnancy on its own. Even if she cognitively knew that wasn't the truth, that her body wasn't a failure, it was easy for her to blame herself and wonder why it was so hard for her when other people made having babies look so easy. Oh, yeah, these are big things. We think it's not supposed to be this hard. You're right. Then it can so easily feel like something is wrong with you or that something you did caused this. I want to offer that, A, what if that's not true? We don't know why, but this is just part of your journey. And maybe one thought, I'm just offering it, one thought that could help, right? It's like, yeah, look at your boys. They would not be in this world if you hadn't been on this journey. And God wanted those boys. At this point in our call, the tears just came out. Big, beautiful tears, and I could tell she was feeling things she had never, never allowed herself to feel before. Especially tears of relief. No, please, let it out. Please let it out. You know you're safe with me. This is so big because we can't see in the moment what it's all for. But now you have your sweet boys. And I know that as painful and horrible as it was, you would have done it again in a heartbeat. So what if, I'm just offering you this thought, that what if it was not at all about you? It was never your fault. It was all God's plan to bring these boys into the world, to love them into existence. And it's not to negate the hardship either. We're not to say like, oh, you shouldn't have had those feelings and thoughts. Like it was so hard. But the healing that's available to you now is to have the answers, to have the boys as the answer. So it was never about your body. It was never about your not being enough or you not being able to do this. It was that God had something greater planned, not just for you, but for them and for the world. She adamantly agreed, and it was touching to see how certain she was that this was true. For the first time, it was like she saw how all the pieces lined up more perfectly than she could have ever planned herself. The pain and struggle, while absolutely still there, had a whole new meaning, maybe even started to feel worth it. It's kind of replay in your mind how all the pieces do fit together as you look back at them. There's so much pain, but there's always so much beauty alongside. And Now that you're more removed from that pain of thinking it wasn't going to happen or not knowing how it was going to turn out, can you go back in time and kind of speak back to your former self in those moments and just offer her so much love and compassion that it really does turn out okay and that it's not her body. She's not doing anything wrong. The emotions kept coming and I am always so here for it. You don't ever have to censor yourself with me and I can't say enough how important it is that you have someone in your life that you can really let go to. Sometimes, I'd even say most times, That really isn't the people we are closest to. They know us too well, love us too much to be objective and hold us in our biggest emotions without us feeling like we are burdening them or them getting upset because they take something we say personally. This is one of the many, many things a personal coach is invaluable for. I just want that love to wash over you. That peace that surpasses understanding. Because even as we understand a little bit more of the pieces fitting together now, there's always more than we can see. Always more than we know. But, ugh. I hope there's this big weight lifted. Yeah. Because this is really, really big and profound. Wearing around guilt and responsibility that were never yours to carry. This may continue to like surface for you now that we've unleashed it. What's so incredible about this work is like your body and your brain are always working together and they want you to thrive. They want you to live your best life. But somehow we learn to ignore the bodily signals and sensations we have, and the brain is shutting those things down, and then the brain is coming up with all its alternative thoughts and rationale for why things are the way they are, or this is too painful, we can't go there, or we are in so much pain that we want to blame ourselves or blame others or whatever. It's just always maybe more than we even know. And when we open ourselves up to that possibility, it can be so freeing because you are so loved. Your worth is so infinite. Your boys are so loved. Their worth is so infinite. I love that this is helping you reframe all of that hurt. It's not that it didn't hurt. It absolutely did. This is the point where things really clicked, and my client realized if she hadn't lost her sweet first baby, she probably wouldn't have the two sons she does today. She kept saying, I've never thought about it that way, and I affirmed. It's just so big. It is so big. But it's very wonderful timing now because if you're carrying all of those past thoughts and hurt inside of you, then your subconscious is never going to love your body and how hard it worked to get you through the hurt to get to that. next phase of life now we can keep processing all of that and again it's not like an instant switch although hopefully a big weight has started to be but like we we love you and your body so much because they made this happen who allowed this to happen through you for the boys and infinite goodness. We don't even know all the great things that are yet to come. But then we love your body so much and it worked so hard and you're gonna keep giving your body what it needs and it wants to thrive. All of the changes you might aspire to make are not because anything is wrong with your body or was wrong with your body. You love your body and you want to love it even more. You want to hear what it's saying and hear how it wants to be loved, how it wants to be treated, and that doesn't always feel good to exercise. It's hard to change our diet or see what you want to do. There's any number of tactical strategies for getting stronger, maybe losing weight, all those things. But the core motivation needs to come from positivity and love and appreciation and gratitude for all that you already are. And then we're just letting your body feel even better. My client underscored how much she wanted to take care of herself and felt bad that she wasn't right now. I could sense the guilt and the shame coming right back up. So I said, okay, but there's another good opportunity to pause and reflect, right? Everything we do is done to stay alive, conserve energy, and avoid pain or seek pleasure. So if we're feeling pain, emotional, physical, of course we turn to something to make us feel better. So a lot of our eating habits are unintentional. Aside from the fact that, of course, the junk food tastes better by design, how companies have made it. You always have a reason why we're reaching for the thing we want. And it's oftentimes because we're tired, we've had a hard day, we've had a disagreement with our husband, or issue at work, or, again, like these big, deep, latent feelings like, something is wrong with my body, so I'm just gonna eat to feel better, kind of thing. I just can't say it enough. When we're starting from love and appreciation, there's less of a need to make ourselves feel better through the habits we've acquired that may not be in our best interest. One of the most essential things to know about coaching is that it is never about me telling you what to do. but rather inviting you to search yourself and come up with your own answers, ones that might not have been accessible without the questions and invitations I offer. In this case, I had my client list off what kinds of things she thought she could do to feel better about her body. It was amazing how many ideas flowed out of her. But even then, I reminded her, there's no objectively right or wrong answer. And we don't want to take on too much at once. Right now, you listed off plenty of ideas of changes. And the big thought I want to offer is that anything can work. Anything can help. if you are really invested in it, if you really believe it's worthwhile. Because none of the things you mentioned, and it's not just what you mentioned, it's just none of the things that we would change, will feel easy and good as we're doing them. And so we not only want to start from a place of real appreciation and gratitude for your body, right, your infinite self-worth, but we also want to start from knowing it is hard to change. We really only change when the pain of staying where we're at becomes greater than the cost of changing. Because there is a cost to taking something out of your diet or making more time for exercise or getting sore muscles. Like, all of those things are costly and painful and time-consuming in their own way. We just have to reach this tipping point where those are the lesser costs compared to continuing to allow ourselves to feel bad about our body or not look the way we want or that we're having physical pain because of our health or our weight or something like that. If you're not fully at that point, I just want you to be gentle with yourself. Of the things you proposed, are there one or two that you're like, oh, I think that's where I want to start or I feel more motivated to try those things? She quickly narrowed in on two things that felt easy and doable to her. Those are great ideas and simple, right? We like that they're small and simple. I'm just so supportive, encouraging you to start with those two simple things as little things you add in. To just kind of recap, I think the biggest takeaway for today is that we gotta start from a place of complete love and appreciation, and really just awe, awe of all you've done, how amazing your body is, and how it was all for a purpose. Maybe didn't click until today. Yes. So thank you, God, for that. Start from awe and appreciation, never from lack or shame or judgment. And then secondly, How can we just start with very simple changes that feel good and feasible given how much else you're dealing with? Thanks for always being so open and vulnerable with me. It's my honor to be alongside you on this journey. I would love to know whether hearing this behind the scenes episode resonates with you. I find my client's story so relatable, whether it's the weight loss goal, or body shaming, or the inner critic. We all have our wounds, and until you let yourself feel them and heal them, just know your nervous system will always, always try to keep you safe by sabotaging your efforts and keeping you from what you say you want. In the case of health, one of the biggest takeaways is that if you're trying to lose weight from a place of judgment and criticism, that will only invoke more stress. So your body will only stay in a state of threat and cause you to quote-unquote fail As a way of trying to protect you from perceived harm, it doesn't matter how much you intellectually and cognitively want something, you can't outthink your nervous system. You can't change until your nervous system feels safe enough to do so. Full stop. Alright, your homework for this episode is to book your free 60-minute call from the link in the show notes so we can talk through what is bothering you and get you started on your own healing journey. Don't forget that if one-on-one coaching doesn't feel financially accessible yet, I have a six-week program where you will learn the six most powerful life coaching tools every mom needs to flourish. Link in the show notes for that as well. Please, please, please reach out to me by email or on Instagram at Solutions for Simplicity to let me know how this episode lands. And then join me back next Tuesday at 5 a.m. Eastern for another episode unpacking the hidden sources of stress, stealing your time and joy. Until then, remember nothing you do changes how wonderful and worthy you are. Have a great day. I know more than anyone how precious your time is, so the fact that you spent it listening to this podcast means the world. Make sure to subscribe, and if you got value out of this show, I would be so honored if you'd leave a review and share this episode with another busy mama who needs to hear it. We've got this.