Spoonful of Polyamory Podcast
Spoonful of Polyamory is your cozy seat at the kitchen table—where love is abundant, questions are welcome, and the tea is always hot. ☕💕
Hosted by a real-life polyamorous couple Goro (Itsthemazoku) and Asani, this podcast dives deep into the world of kitchen table polyamory, where connection, compassion, and open conversation take center stage. Whether you’re new to polyamory, exploring ethical non-monogamy, or just curious about what it all means, we’re here to help break it down one spoonful at a time.
Each episode, we explore real-life scenarios, explain key terms, and offer a safe, judgment-free space to reflect, learn, and laugh along the way. From relationship structures and communication tips to navigating jealousy and defining your own poly journey—we’re serving up authenticity, vulnerability, and plenty of love.
So pull up a chair. Everyone’s welcome at this table.
Spoonful of Polyamory Podcast
Ep. 4 Braggin' Rights | Spoonful of Polyamory
Goro and Asani explore the things they brag about when discussing each other with friends and how childhood experiences shape adult love languages.
• Taking turns sharing their "brag lists" about each other
• Guru appreciates Asani's resourcefulness, supportive nature, and willingness to be his "better half"
• Asani values Goro' passion, emotional vulnerability, and willingness to try new experiences
• Examining how Guru's mother and Asani's grandfather modeled love languages they now use
• Discussion of "parallel play" as a neurodivergent love language both enjoy
• The surprising revelation that Goro never planned to marry until meeting Asani
If you've enjoyed our podcast, please subscribe, like, or share with a friend who may be interested in polyamory or just wants to hang out with us. We'd love to hear your suggestions for future episodes in the comments!
🍽️ Welcome to the Spoonful of Polyamory Podcast 🥄❤️
Hosted by ItsTheMazoku and AsaniDragonscale, this show is your cozy seat at the kitchen table where we serve up real talk about polyamory, relationships, communication, and connection. Whether you're polyam-curious, seasoned in ethical non-monogamy, or just love good conversation—there’s a spoonful here for everyone.
We break down terms, explore real-life scenarios, and create a safe, affirming space to learn and laugh along the way.
🫖 Pull up a chair. Pour some tea. Let’s talk polyamory—together.
we are live and we are back again. It is your boy, guru masoku I'm asani dragon scale of course you do that little. Anyway, guys, welcome back. That's episode four of a spoonful of polyamory podcast.
Speaker 1:Um, last time we talked about things like boundaries and stuff like that, and today, uh, this is kind of like I guess you could say a cutesy episode, because we're gonna go more into I get to brag about you and I also get to interrupt me we're actually going to talk about, um, another topic that we brought up in the car actually, the um, the love languages we kind of learned from going growing up and shit, yeah, that um. So we want to bring that up in conversation as well. Also, if you know, if you've enjoyed our podcast so far, please just be sure to subscribe, like or even share it to a friend or someone in general who may be interested in polyamory or just want to hang out with us in general.
Speaker 1:Uh, I mean, granted, our youtube is specifically polyamory you know, and stuff like that, but we, we're still people, we still like to have fun and do our thing. So, um, but I definitely got a lot of comments, uh, pertaining to the last episode, pertaining to, like, uh, boundaries and some people really worried about setting those boundaries and wondering, if you know, will people be?
Speaker 1:accepting yes, of those particular boundaries and stuff like that. So, um, now you got into the point where you are talking to your person, you're excited about your relationship, you're gushing over them and you have those particular things that you like to gush about, and that's what this episode is about. Is um, us getting to gush, and probably some of the things you guys. So our objective was well, at least apparently to me, our objective was, uh, to write down a couple of things that you um tend to tell people when you are bragging about your person. So, so you know what time it is rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot.
Speaker 1:All right, that's me, so that means I get to go right yes all right, so this is not hard, but I wanted to write down so many of the things I can think of because I know there's a lot, and so when I'm bragging about you, I I wrote down a particular. So the first thing is I talk about how resourceful you are, and it's so ridiculous, like I'm literally on the phone with somebody who may also make sure you're not slapping the table, if you can. Okay, um, stuff like that. I didn't mean to do that, I'm just gonna leave it open for now, yeah yeah, yeah, um, so we're talking about how resourceful you are to me.
Speaker 1:I'm literally having a conversation about something with somebody and they brought up like oh yeah, I need to go do something with my sprouts. And I was like what is a sprout? And then, out of nowhere, here comes asani, like a sprout is a particular lizard and I'm like it's a skink a skink you you were just talking about, like bean sprouts or whatever the fuck it was called.
Speaker 1:I don't give a damn, but the statement still stands the fact that you automatically know almost anything that I need. Remember when I talked about, oh, I want to get my hiotis done, and you were like, oh, you probably need to find a seamstress. And I'm like what the fuck is a seamstress? Somebody is probably going to be able to do that. Okay, cool. Where do I find them? I don't know.
Speaker 2:And I'm like bro.
Speaker 1:Just because I know what you need to do doesn't mean I know where to find them, but that's what I'm talking about, but like you're the handyman, you're the handyman, you do all the handy shit in the house and I'm just a techie, like, if you have a tech issue, I'm here I cannot do tech worth shit yeah, so that's what I'm talking about. Like you, that's you, you you do all the handy stuff.
Speaker 2:They look, they, my strong little handyman, um you know what that comes from what that comes from growing up in a as a military brat and dad not being home 90 percent of the time, so mom had to do everything around the house and I just watched her okay, I can't really say if it's very much of a similar situation for me, but I can.
Speaker 1:I can understand that. To say if it's very much of a similar situation for me, but I can, I can understand that. Um, also leaning a little bit too much, you gotta keep keep your frame.
Speaker 2:All right, keep your frame.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know what my frame is, so the frame is the frame is here, all right, uh, minor adjustments, y'all um, but, as you know, we're still a growing podcast.
Speaker 2:We're trying to find the perfect format for everything honestly, I think having the cameras on a stand that's not on the table would help a lot see the camera, it has no effect.
Speaker 1:It's the microphone that we're having issues with and, yeah, that would probably be effective, but if you wouldn't lean and on and off on a dog on top, anyway, we need to get a stronger table, regardless. We need to get a stronger table. So, um, oh my god, I could talk about this for hours how much you support me in all my passion projects. I I can't say this enough, especially coming from a relationship where all I wanted to do was make a wrestling promotion with some friends, like a video game wrestling promotion, and, um, it was frowned upon, you know. And to have someone who's like, yeah, that's just something you want to do, go ahead and do it. And with my former music career, oh, that's something you want to do, go ahead and do it. And then, doing this, oh yeah, if you want to do that, I'm here to support and it makes you happy, do it as long as you're not hurting someone, I don't care, don't even go there.
Speaker 2:Don't even go there. We both know that's not what I meant yeah, video games.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we be hurting people anyway, um, but yeah, you support me on all my passion projects and I love that. And, um, especially with the cooking channel, we started doing too, and you know just anything that I say, hey, I want to do this, you know I think that's really fun to do with you the cooking.
Speaker 2:So yeah, because we get to spend extra time together and we're making, we're being self-conscious about what our our food intake is that part.
Speaker 1:But I think the biggest thing is, yeah, we do get like, like I said before, like we, we, we value this time together to sit here and chat, because it's like yo, we get off of work, we do our thing and we kind of focus on our own little personal worlds, but, like, this is us like actually getting to talk, like and have conversations, and that's what I love about it, because you know, throughout the day you think about like how's this person doing? We pretty much are very much like an old-fashioned couple before cell phones, because throughout the day we don't text each other like unless someone needs something, unless something important goes down.
Speaker 2:Good luck um, because that's what work phones are for no, I mean, I'm just saying in general.
Speaker 1:We're not like constantly texting each other, so when we get home, there's that I missed you. And I'm not saying that everybody needs to do that, but I just know it's worked for us. But sometimes you'd be like I missed you. I'm like you literally just left the house. How did you miss me? What are you talking about? So, yes, you support me with all my passion projects. I love that. You are literally my better half.
Speaker 1:I I can't express this enough when I say like, you complete me in those ways that, like I look at a photo of us when we go out, like I I'm so glad that we started doing this, because before I never did it. When we take photos, when we go out, and I'm looking at the photo, we went to the comedy shop and I was like man, I, I fucking love her. Like I. I I couldn't see myself with anybody else in that. In that world of like my nesting partner, the person I'm going to marry, like for people who know me, know 2010 me, and like who I was then, marriage or, like me, settling down, would never exist. That that wasn't even a part of the fucking conversation.
Speaker 2:So I don't. I don't think it's something from what you've told me. I don't think it's something that you were actively thinking about, but I think I do think it's something that was it like in your subconscious that you wanted I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, I I enjoyed, and this is I I guess how I kind of found that I was more poly after that last relationship. I enjoy the, the relationships that I have with other people and connecting with them on that level, so I definitely knew I was not a one person individual well, I, I figured that out pretty early too, yeah so.
Speaker 1:But to like, say, like hands down to, to actually put a ring on innocence no, I never thought of like essence of settling down, so that wasn't a thing. But like when I say you are my better half, like I mean that without a shadow of a doubt I would probably not be where I'm at right now if it wasn't for you.
Speaker 2:You know, I could say the same about you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I think about at times. There's so many moments where you I mean shoot, we talked about it when you helped me move into that apartment. Like you've helped me, especially when, in August, like that was a really tough time for me. Like to go from us having that stable situation to then me gambling on something like going into education and then not having like a job for like almost half a year, like you holding down the fort and saying, hey, no, go to school, do this test, take it as many times as you need to. I got this. Like there were so many days that I just was like yo I. I can't express how much I appreciate the fact that they are so supportive of that and, granted, I never got the role that I wanted to get into.
Speaker 1:But at least you can say you tried yeah I can say that I can definitely say that I tried, but during that time, man, um, I sat there and just did not feel like like I knew you, you loved me, no matter what happened. But for any, for any, I guess you could say male presenting individual when you don't affect anybody, when you don't feel like you're able to bring to the table, like it affects you, like mentally. I had depression, I had all these other things going on, and there were times where you just be like no, we're good, trust me, we're good. You, you were my rock, you held me down.
Speaker 1:Like I could say without a shadow of a doubt that if, if, whoever one of us gets older and not able to do stuff, you know we are gonna take care of the other person. Not saying that you know nobody else would do it, but I just know, hands down, this is why we kind of already established to each other motherfucker you ain't going nowhere and motherfucker I ain't going nowhere, like that's that level of of I would say that better half. I don't know if you ever noticed this too, because it's funny thing this is side note.
Speaker 1:Have you ever noticed some couples like but the amount of years they start being together, they kind of start having similar facial expressions yeah yeah, so I know ours is smiling and I want to be able to continue smiling with you for years, however long that takes and I know we debate on like all right, I'm dying first, you better you know, we do all that shit all the time and I don't care too much about that.
Speaker 1:I'm just, I'm glad that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I honestly couldn't say I would not want it with anybody else. Like I, I truly love you, I truly love you and I love you too. So that's uh. One of the biggest things I get to brag about is that they are literally my better half. And to say, even from my mom, my mom has never liked anyone, dated, never except one person but like she found out like. But to say my mom has like generally never was like one of those situations like yo, you better not fuck this up. Like I'm gonna mess you up if you, if you mess this up.
Speaker 2:So wait, your mom's actually said that to you yes, she said I like this one.
Speaker 1:Do not fuck this up. I have the receipts. I can call her after this and she will tell you that. Which is funny because now I look at my thing, um, when I talked about, I never thought I would marry until I met you. That was actually one of the other things uh, because I truly never felt like it was gonna be a thing. Um, not saying that marriage is bad, but it's just like. Like I said before, uh, I wasn't aware of the realms of polyamory and how I could have commitments with multiple people. I just know I didn't want commitment to one person right now. Granted, we have expressed that. You know, if down the road that stuff doesn't work, that we're able to just lock in and just be us. But, um, I just know that was kind of a thing. And um, uh, I'm trying to think of what the other thing I was gonna say. But, yes, uh, you make me think outside of the box with life.
Speaker 2:I love that and do you care to elaborate on that a bit?
Speaker 1:yeah I'm going to um, so you help me think, you help me take into perspective not just what I'm thinking, but think outside the box when it comes to scenarios. So like trying things I've never tried before that I was like I would never try that. So, like your flammit from fermented garlic and honey, never thought to combine those two things together. But it's apparently a good seasoning and apparently it's good for other things health-wise, and I'm like, yeah it's, it's really good for if you have colds.
Speaker 1:A lot of people do it with onions as well as garlic and to me I'm just like the thought process of actually consuming it like it's strong, like I'm talking like strong, but it's not bad, it's fucking strong, okay, really strong, and um, I I say to this point like it's a lot to me sometimes, but I will say the one thing that you brought to me that really I tell this to everybody. Oh, you got a sore throat, take some orange peels, get you some raw honey, put that in a jar, let it sit. I never tell them, like, how long you're supposed to sit it, like, is it 24 hours?
Speaker 2:No, actually. So it's full. You can take a full orange and slice it into like discs, yeah. Then you stuff that in the jar and then you cover it with raw honey, yeah, and you let that sit. It has to sit for at least a week, and every now, every day or so, you burp it.
Speaker 2:So you open the jar a little bit to let the gas out and then you close it back up and you shake it really, really well, and then you let it sit until the uh, the week is up, and then you have fermented uh, citrus honey yeah, and when I tell you, we both, I think we both had coven around that time we did and I was like my throat is killing me.
Speaker 1:You was like man, try this, it's gonna work. I said orange, orange and honey. What, the what? No, this is dumb. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:it's better than orange blossom honey but when I tried it, my throat cleared immediately. So I will never like. There are certain times where I'll tell asani I'm like, look, I don't want to try that because I know the combinations of what those things would taste like. But when it's something like, hey, this would be good for you to heal this thing, I, without a shadow of a doubt, I take it because I know, hands down, you know, and I've you haven't steered me wrong since that day, um, but there's other things you do it with even if you didn't like it very much, like the time I made you take a spoonful of the garlic honey for your knee, yeah, and I actually did help the inflammation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did um which, again, the combination of the two. It just sounds gross when you think about it and, yes, it smells the way you think it does it just smells like garlic and honey, very strong garlic and honey, um so uh. Next is you are great at communicating your needs and confronting your fears with me head on. Like I never have to worry about you opening you. You're not opening up something to me like why you feel or what's going on.
Speaker 2:Like I feel like no matter what you are going to express yourself and we've had moments like that even with the previous person, and stuff like that it's like, hey, I kind of felt this way and you know, just kind of talking about um, like I like to call it once a jealousy in relationships, but it's just like those well, jealousy is an is an appropriate term for it, because there have been times where I was jealous, but I did sit there and I unpacked it to figure out why I was jealous, and nine times out of ten it was just because it was something that I wanted to experience with you that you had done with that other person first say word.
Speaker 1:Oh snap, I don't think you ever like told me exactly like that in my eyes it wasn't a big deal.
Speaker 2:It was like well, I can do that with him at a later date, and we did.
Speaker 1:We did go do things together at a later date that's why I never, I I never knew it was like that, I never not not all the time yeah, well, I know which one you're talking about. That's what I'm saying. Like, we're not specifying specifically, but I know what you're talking about, so it's interesting. And, um, yeah, I never have to worry about you not being able to express yourself and your needs, your wants and your requirements and your relationships. So that's great and I appreciate you for that. What are you doing?
Speaker 2:It was shaking.
Speaker 1:Shake, shake, shake. Anyway. Next one I will have to say Is going to be oh, the fact that you helped me with my hair Like I can't express this enough for any person who obviously has type 4 hair like myself, uh, the fact that this one's able to detangle or untangle my hair whenever I wash it, it's a blessing in disguise sometimes you know, I actually looked up what type of curl you had before I tried to figure out what I can do to help you? No fucking way, uh-huh.
Speaker 2:I thought you just like, because you're familiar with that, with your no, I did not do anything based off of what I do with the dogs oh, well then like I literally looked up what different curl sizes and and kink sizes are and I was sitting there because you wanted me to detangle your hair and I know you hate it when your hair is just flying all over the place. So you remember the first time I did twists in your hair.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I learned that like two hours before I did it.
Speaker 1:No, freaking way. Oh, they came out really good too. I wish I could show a photo of that.
Speaker 2:I have photos of that.
Speaker 1:Of course you do, of course you do, of course you do. Um, but yeah, the fact that you're willing in taking up the time to learn that stuff like that still means a lot to me. That still means a lot to me, so I appreciate that. Um, I remember I made that tick, talk it too, and everybody was like she can do that, like, hold up a second. How was she able to know how to do that? You know, or we, we, we was particularly picking my hair, it was that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Next one is going to be you always love doing the little things, like when we cook. It's little, but it can mean a lot to us when we're doing it, or when we both just got off of work and you're playing your Switch and I'm doing my thing, but we're in the same room but still in the same energy.
Speaker 2:I love parallel play with you. That's what it's called it's yeah, it's a love language.
Speaker 1:It's called parallel play I did not know that um.
Speaker 1:It's specifically a neurodivergent love language I'm gonna put the definition up, okay apparently I didn't know that um, well, I just know I enjoy being in the same space with you and doing our own little things, because it's like sometimes you want to be all over each other but you ain't got the energy for it, and this is our way of showcasing that energy, even if you know we don't want to. But, yeah, just the little things. Um, you know, when you made my bracelets, uh, my, my beads and stuff like that, um, anytime you want to help me with those things, just like they. They're small to me. They may be major somebody else, but they're very small, little like teensy little things. Um, that I always appreciate you for.
Speaker 1:Um, what's the next one? Uh, uh, oh, you let me know how much you love me constantly, as many times as you might. Like, literally, when I say this, y'all like they will say I love you and then, like 30 freaking seconds later, be like I love you and I'm like you just said that. Like again, like, yeah, I know you love me, but like it's I don't know. You have to explain, like, why you do that.
Speaker 2:I do that because I believe in saying something when you feel something, and a lot of times I'll just randomly be like I love you, because at that moment I recognize that I really, really love you. And sometimes that happens multiple times in a row. And when you have ADHD, you have issues with object permanence, which means if you can't see it, forget it's there, which also can apply to emotions such as love and grief and anger and sadness and stuff like that. So when you see something that reminds you or triggers that emotion, it's a re? Um, not a reflux. What did I lost what I was saying um, um, it's like a reminder maybe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a reminder that you do have these feelings, that these do exist, and I believe that when I have those feelings, I should vocalize it okay, I can respect that.
Speaker 1:Let me actually put this water down because I feel like it's kind of sturdy the the table probably a little bit can you see it in the camera?
Speaker 2:uh, just the edge of it. It's you're. It's gonna fall off the table. Don't worry about it you see it still.
Speaker 1:no, okay, cool, alright. So next thing, you never force anything on me. You let me be me, like, whether if it's my style or anything else, especially with helping me explore the queer side of me. Like I know, like when you painted my nails the day before I proposed to you, you didn't know what the fuck's about to happen?
Speaker 2:No, I did not. For two months he hid this shit from me and he told everyone around me about it and drove everyone crazy Because, according to our friends, he would pull the ring out behind my back and show everyone and then he would hide it as soon as I turned around and the entire time he was stressing everyone out Because they're like she's going to fucking see it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had the whole theatrics, the whole. Like I was so upset upset because when I asked the dude about the uh, the um projector screen, I was like, hey, it's gonna be in a daytime, it's gonna like illuminate. He was like, yeah, you should be able to do, as long as you got some shade and a good. You know you should be good and shit didn't work it did not work you know, and nothing in life happens perfect, but you know, the moment with you was perfect.
Speaker 2:So, yes, and I remember you was going to try to put eyeliner on me with this, with the glasses on, yeah, so specifically with the headband that you had on the other day with the flowers on it, I thought it would look really cute.
Speaker 1:With eyeliner. I'll have to try it. I'll have to try it at some point. But I always tell myself I appreciate you allowing me to express myself in any way. I want to try it at some point. Um, but I always tell myself I appreciate you allowing me to express myself in any way I want to um you do the same with me yeah, I mean, of course.
Speaker 1:I mean that's kind of why I appreciate it so much, because it's kind of like a both in kind of thing and um, let's see here. The other thing is obviously I talk about technically. You're a future business owner, technically.
Speaker 2:I am technically a future business owner. Yes, I brag about that.
Speaker 1:And I brag about your baking background. Anytime when I'm doing my current profession, I always bring up. If I'm talking to somebody about it, I bring up like oh yeah, they did this and you know they teach me about all these things like mise en place and all that kind of stuff, so I always brag about your, your background in baking, and, um, you make excellent brownies. They're like top notch. Um, we still gotta do those cinnamon rolls, though.
Speaker 2:We do still gotta do those cinnamon rolls I was thinking we could do the cinnamon rolls but I could do them a little differently down, like we can do it the original recipe first and then I can do them a little differently down the road oh, so you want to make it more than once, obviously um, I would like to make a chocolate version of them.
Speaker 1:How would you make chocolate dough?
Speaker 2:Um, you'd add cocoa powder to the flour.
Speaker 1:Beforehand. Oh, so you want to make original flour for that? Yeah, okay, well, no.
Speaker 2:You'd like you get your flour. You use however much flour you're supposed to you add. Let's say you use about a cup, one and three quarter cups of regular flour, a cup and one and three quarter cups of, uh, regular flour.
Speaker 1:you would then add like a quarter cup of um cocoa powder, and then you'd add your binder see, this is exactly what I'm talking about with this information, bro, like, come on, man just always always got information always. I'm telling you you might need to make a segment or something like that, I don't know that would be cute.
Speaker 2:You could just like randomly ask me shit and he'd be like a random thing.
Speaker 1:He knows, oh, random thing, asani knows um. So, uh, next one, um, the fact that you don't need me in your life. I am just an extension to your life. Like you, you say like a lot of times that you, you're able to do your own thing, and I've had many relationships where people are very clingy, like they can't exist without you. And, granted, I know you would like to exist without me, but like I, don't want to exist without you.
Speaker 1:Well, what I'm saying is like you can do it like you, if, like, obviously you can move on, you know, say you can move on and still exist, where, if some people are, like you know, very clingy and not giving that person space, like you give me space you know, I'm saying like you give me that ability to do me. I guess I would say at the end of the day, you're not clinky but you are clinky, but not clinky is that what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:I'm I'm affectionately clinging, I'm not, uh, necessity, clingy.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, you are affectionate all the time, all the time, like they're. They're. One thing they love to do is they'll come up and just fall on me and I'm just like, can I help you? And I just like I just want to fall on you and hold you. I'm like, okay, you can get up now. Just random stuff like that. And that's, these are the things that I brag about you. And then the next part is what you may think the other one says about you. So I have to guess what you may say about me when you brag about me. So I think you talk about the fact that I can make a good steak.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, Okay, but I don't stress you compared to most individuals.
Speaker 2:You don't talk about that, okay, you don't talk about that, okay, um, I don't talk about that, because I don't talk about stuff like that unless the person is stressing me okay, then I I don't know, I don't know what you probably say when you brag about me, honestly.
Speaker 1:well, I guess that leaves your opportunity to do such and the floor is yours.
Speaker 2:You know, we probably should have done the guess what the others said about each other before you went into your list, probably.
Speaker 1:Probably. But hey, that's okay, it's organic. You know what I'm saying? We do our thing, so go for it it's organic.
Speaker 2:You know I'm saying we do our thing, so go for it. I one of my favorite things to brag about you is the fact that you love what you do. You give 110, no matter what you're doing. Um, for example, when you were really big on tikt TikTok and you did all of those uh, street Fighter videos you were, you were doing those almost every day and you were into it, you were excited about it, you were happy with it. Uh, even when you had some really off days you were like, man, I should really just go make a video. And you did and you'd cheer you up because it's something that you love to do. And you have that attitude about pretty much anything that you do, unless it's something that you're required to do because of your job and you just don't really want to do it.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's one, because it's true, it is true. You know, I can't take compliments for nothing, I know.
Speaker 2:I'm just waiting for you to say some bullshit uh no, I ain't gonna say nothing.
Speaker 1:I ain't gonna say nothing. This is all, you right here.
Speaker 2:I like to brag about the fact that you are so good at housework and I am I'm crap at housework. I I did it for so long for all of my other relationships that I just I don't have the patience for it anymore. And you do pretty much everything around the house outside of the dishes, and even then you do the dishes sometimes, because sometimes I'm just not up for it. I know exactly what you want to say right now. It's written all over your face.
Speaker 1:I don't do shit. I don't do shit. I tell them every day uh, they'd be like well, I appreciate you, I don't do shit I love how emotionally vulnerable you are.
Speaker 2:I love the fact that, with me specifically, I love the fact that you are comfortable enough with me to show me you when you're emotional, regardless of whether it's you being happy or you being sad or pissed off at something.
Speaker 1:You don't hide it from me like most men would are you talking about, like when I cried when I was listening to Howl's Moving Castle?
Speaker 2:no, not just that. Like there's multiple um well. I'm talking about recently well recently, yes, but that's not not the only time I'm talking about recently. Well recently, yes, but that's not the only time I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know I'm talking about in recent events.
Speaker 2:I love the fact that you give me space when I ask for it, Especially on days where I've just had a really shit day at work and it was loud and obnoxious and I just I need quiet. When I come home and you will go ahead and you'll wait for me to come up to you and like I'll, I'll say hi when I walk in and I'll come over and give you a kiss and then I'll go do my own thing for a little bit and then I'll come back out and, like spend time with you.
Speaker 1:Or it, and then I'll come back out and like spend time with you or uh, similar to when you get really, really hot, really quick and you gotta run off and cool, yeah, and I'll be like it's just. This is florida, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2:it's always hot, but, um, okay, okay, I'll accept that, I'll accept it I love how excited you get when you're playing video games even when I'm yelling in the house yes, because I can just stick my earbuds in and I'll be fine with it oh my god there are times where it's like a little loud, so I'll leave the room for a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll be mad when you do that, because I'll be like, damn, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:No, it's like, I'm not mad at you, it's just I was sensory overload for that small period of time, like I'll come back out.
Speaker 1:But yeah, they're talking about specifically when I'm playing Dead by Daylight or if I'm playing fighting games. For sure you get so loud. I love you Some of the BS that happens on those games. You kind of have to scream it out. So that's besides the point. So you enjoy the fact that I'm passionate about my fighting games.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love how passionate you are, regardless of what you're doing.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I love that you have a good relationship with your mom.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're one of my only partners that I've had that has had a good relationship with their parent my mom was literally like my best friend, like in my early 20s, like we literally had a system of like some college frat boy type stuff where uh, my mom would be like, hey, this person I'm talking to is coming over, address them appropriately.
Speaker 1:Or sometimes she'd be like yo, go back, go in the room and act like you're not even there, like, or something like that, and same thing applied. You'd be like you know she's in the house and I know some people be like yo, it's kind of wild for you to bring people over your mom's house.
Speaker 1:And you're hey, look man if your mom knows about it, it's not that bad my mom was just like, pretty much, just give me a heads up so that I know, depending on what it was, if I need to leave the house or not, and that was fair game. So we was, we had that system and you know my mom is very much a person who keeps to themselves a lot. But other than that, man, uh, I trusted with everything, um, everything that I do in my life. I trust the way and, honestly, the funny part about it were her. Her response to everything is good, no hard drug good you ain't in jail, good you know that's.
Speaker 1:That's pretty much her response. So whatever I do, it's like okay. So you ain't in jail, all right cool. You ain't doing this, all right cool.
Speaker 2:So it's pretty much it, but yeah I love the fact that you don't begrudge me spending time with my mom, even though I work with her why the heck would I ever do that like, or anybody would ever do that?
Speaker 2:looking back at my previous relationships I had, a lot of them were like jealous of the fact that I had such a good relationship with my mom that I wanted to spend time with her outside of work no, like do your thing, because then sometimes you know, as as the gamer go, do your thing, how much you gain, you know.
Speaker 1:So that's, that's really weird and it's a lot more common than you think I don't know, man, I wouldn't give a damn how the relationship between even with my pre I had a previous ex who they hung out all the time. I didn't care because it's like that's your friend and we're back. Um see, you were talking about, uh, the relationship that you have with your, your mom and me not being stressful about it. That's your best friend. Do what you do, give a dang. I want you to have a friend. Sometimes, you know, you don't really have that many people you can hang out with in our current area. So if that's your mom as your friend, I don't give a dang.
Speaker 2:I love the fact that you are not afraid to do new things, specifically, do new things with me oh, you mean like you want to do the ballroom dancing thing yes.
Speaker 1:I know I'm going to regret it later.
Speaker 2:I also love that you're not afraid to go do cutesy things with me, like when we went to the butterfly exhibit.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, that was adorable. That was adorable. That was adorable. You know what? Yeah, like we used to do a lot of stuff like that back in the day when we could. Right when we had the time to but um, like the concert that we're going to in november bro it's in august it's november august 8th november 8th. Trust me, it's in november. You can look at your phone right now.
Speaker 2:I swear to god, you told me it's november 8th. Bro you it because it's 11 8 hang on, I'm gonna pull this up right now, so we got tickets to go see joji, and I'm telling you this is why I know.
Speaker 1:It is because I remember looking it up and it said he was in Orlando in November. Fuck, exactly I knew what the fuck I was talking about.
Speaker 2:No, because I put in August 8th for my day off, so I have to switch it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go switch that now like ASAP Shit. We ain't missing that fucking concert, Not for nothing.
Speaker 2:That's going to be my birthday concert.
Speaker 1:Pretty much. I'm going to cry so hard I might.
Speaker 2:That's gonna be our anniversary concert pretty much wait is it actually, though, yeah?
Speaker 1:low-key, you know. Stop playing with me right now, like is it legit?
Speaker 2:the date. Look up, we should look up when we went to that. Uh, the japanese festival the first time we went because that's literally. That was in november yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:It's always in november. That's why I love it. Um, I'm gonna have to look at that, because that's that's true boy.
Speaker 2:That's wild um can you imagine that actually, like I'm pretty sure it is. But like can you imagine us going on our anniversary and then him playing the song that we picked for us?
Speaker 1:I again would cry, and I am not afraid of crying. Um, I, low-key, want to do certain things to prep for it, but no, no, I might have to save up money for an Uber that day, or something, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we can Uber. We can get a hotel for out there, nah.
Speaker 1:I want to go. After my experience with the sleep study, I don't feel like sleeping in no other beds now. No other beds, bro.
Speaker 2:Well then, we'll have to set aside a budget for uber, although I did pay for parking.
Speaker 1:How much it was 24 at the amway yeah, that was, and that wasn't even for, that wasn't even for good parking that's what was how much?
Speaker 2:was good parking. Good parking was 75 chill bro.
Speaker 1:Oh man, chill bro. Yo man, we might just have to Uber bro. I don't know, man, if parking is bad like $24 is $24. I'm not gonna be mad at it we'll Uber. I wanna be able to have an experience, bro. I'm gonna be like the whole time anyway, so trying new things, what, what else you have?
Speaker 2:um, I love the fact that you let me explore my different styles and my different clothes and hair and my gender identity and you're not like mad at me for it. You don't get mad at me when I change my hair, even though you don't like it sometimes when I change it's more so I'm, I'm, I have to be used to the change you're.
Speaker 2:You are averse to change yes which is one of the reasons why I think you might be a little autistic yeah, I don't, I don't really like change unless it's like a necessary change.
Speaker 1:But if you're just doing to do it like why are we changing?
Speaker 2:this. If it's something that you can prep for, you're okay with it yes, but if you come home and like I, dyed my hair blue and I'm like, which I tend to do quite a lot. This is the longest time I've gone without dyeing my hair.
Speaker 1:Yeah and yeah, yeah, yeah, and the fact that you've been growing it this long too.
Speaker 2:Well, I like kind of fried it the last time. I dyed it.
Speaker 1:More of the reasons why you should probably stop for a minute.
Speaker 2:What do you think I've been doing? Plus, I want to grow out my hair for a wedding.
Speaker 1:How long are you trying to make it?
Speaker 2:Like as long as it'll be before we get married.
Speaker 1:Well, you got a couple more months left, right, better get on the ball with that. Okay, the fact that I allow you to be able to explore you, allow me to be unapologetically me, yes, with your little goofy ass, giggle and stuff, and then um, speaking of goofy, I love the fact that you are goofy when you're around me like you're saying, as if I wouldn't be goofy if I wasn't around you.
Speaker 2:Like like, compared to how you are around, uh, new people versus how you are around me or people that you've known for a long time you're not afraid you're not afraid to be goofy around me yeah, no, because it's you.
Speaker 1:You know I'm saying, like most of the jokes is, is I'm trying to either make you laugh or make you say, like you know, that little tongue nonsense you be doing, sticking your tongue out and stuff, whatever joke that makes you give me a reaction is the big thing.
Speaker 2:I love the fact that you can keep up with my sass. Oh yeah, Because yeah, Anytime you want to try to give me shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm right there with you, like the whole milk carton incident.
Speaker 2:It was my milk.
Speaker 1:I don't care.
Speaker 2:You didn't drink it and we didn't have any guests over at that time. It was fucking quarantine all right.
Speaker 1:So look here y'all. This is the scenario. Okay, we got milk in the fridge and they felt like, oh, I'm gonna pull the milk out and drink from the carton.
Speaker 2:I said it was my I don't give a damn.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing. I'm like yo, what are you doing? Get a glass and they're like, no, it's my milk. And I was like, but yeah, but why are you drinking out the carton like a barbarian? Because I freaking wanted to Get a freaking glass. So you know, we got in a little scuffle.
Speaker 1:Not a scuffle, but like a little back and forth. Um, how about it's mine now? So it's just one of those things that we do Every once in a while. They'll give me sass and I have to get right back to them, otherwise you probably walk all over my ass.
Speaker 2:No, I ain't gonna never have it.
Speaker 1:Cause I'm gonna sass you back all the time, but the fact that I can handle your sass Okay.
Speaker 2:I love the fact that you don't begrudge me my animals. What do you?
Speaker 1:mean.
Speaker 2:You're okay with me having my animals. You don't?
Speaker 1:you're not resentful of me all right, I mean I may not be that much of an animal person, but I continue was that it don't be like, as in the animal statement?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, because after, because after a while, when you got certain people like bear the best dog. You kind of just, you know Not think about it as much, but bear is the best dog. No answers or bugs. I've made my statement.
Speaker 2:I think I've pretty much covered what I brag about.
Speaker 1:Now, even though I already told you what mine were, could you guess what you have in the book?
Speaker 2:Well, I figure that you brag about my degree and I figure that you brag about the fact that I know a crap ton of things. Um, I honestly, what I was expecting you to brag about was probably going to be the fact that I um know so much about animals, specifically nah, because that just kind of comes with you.
Speaker 1:so like, yeah, that's something people learn, like when they start talking to you. What I do I also I don't brag about it, but I brag about it to you is the fact that you know another language, and I always tell I always tell them this every time If you went to that set country right now and the only thing they spoke is that language, you'd be good. Me, on the other hand, I'd be fucked. So the fact that I'm trying to learn something like Japanese or just another language in general, especially when we try to travel to Japan, I want to be equipped. You're starting to lean out of the frame. Thank you for telling me. I want to be equipped. You're starting to lean out of the frame. Thank you for telling me. I want to be equipped and I'm able to do what I do.
Speaker 2:Here's another one.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:I love the fact that you want me to hold you accountable.
Speaker 1:Oh, when I do something.
Speaker 2:Like for things you say or things you do.
Speaker 1:You want me to correct you yeah, uh, because at the end of the day, like I'm not perfect, and how will I ever understand certain things if you don't tell me y'all gotta also realize. It's like seven at night, well, 8, 30 at night we normally it's 8, 30 we normally film at like the daytime. So all these yawns and all that kind of stuff are just coming from a very long day. A very long day. But um, you said that's all of yours yeah, that's pretty much all right.
Speaker 1:Well then, this kind of gives us an opportunity to tell everybody. If you have this opportunity, uh, share with your person to be able to say, like, hey, let's write about the things that we gush about or brag with your partner because, honestly, it's interesting to know what you say, you know. I find it quite interesting to know what you say, you know. I find it quite interesting to know what they may say about me to people, and not in like a bad way, obviously, but like what are the qualities that you truly enjoy about me, you know? And, yeah, I encourage everybody to get the chance to do that with your person. So the next thing we definitely wanted to get a chance to do that with your person. So, uh, the next thing we definitely wanted to get the chance to talk about was, um, your sinus is kicking in completely right, my allergies have been kicking my ass all day apparently, and it's summertime, which is wild, but uh, the next conversation was talking about was um learning about your love language from, I guess, your childhood.
Speaker 2:Comparing how you prefer to be loved with how you were loved as a child.
Speaker 1:There we go. So certain things that I kind of noticed as I've been dating Asani. They do a lot of things similar to what my mom does. Uh, they do a lot of things similar to what my mom does and my mom has always called me snuffleupagus or banana bread and they would just smother me with kisses. Asani does that, but just says I love you. So it's like I noticed these things and I was like, wow, my mom used to do that when I was a kid.
Speaker 2:And then other stuff like Like the other day when we were talking about prepping for something and I was standing there and I really had to pee.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you had to really use the bathroom and they would start doing this little dance thing and anytime my mama had to use the bathroom and she'd be like wanting to talk to you but has to use the bathroom.
Speaker 1:I'm like why are you dancing? Go to the bathroom, what are you doing, like, go. So there's that. There was another thing too I forgot to write it down that she does that you do, it's not. It's not?
Speaker 1:Oh, the fact that you like sitting and watching me play video games. So my mom used to do that when I was a kid. Whenever I used to play wrestling games, she would actually sit there and watch me for maybe like a good 30 minutes and just allow me to um, play my game. Um, my mom my mom also bought me a tape recorder when I was younger and she encouraged me to record music that I found soothing to me. So I always recorded, uh, songs from video games and I would play them in the house, just just vibing, and my mom never found it weird, but she found it really like cool that I could find a way of expressing myself with music.
Speaker 1:And then I had a futon and the futon broke because I used to do wrestling moves on it. So I kept the mattress and I took the mattress and put it in my closet. So my closet became my chill space. If I need to get away, I would have the futon in there and I would just play my music and I would just vibe and my god uh you know, we could do that in our closet right now, our current one in our bedroom, no, yeah, we could, we could, but no, it'd be weird to sit in because like it has to be a closet where, like the door opens in.
Speaker 1:Like the opposite way, because when I, when I used to, when I used to sit in it, I used to just fall in it like, fall in the closet and just, and I can get up, close the door, whatever, um, I feel like in our bedroom because of like I can't necessarily fall in, I have to lay sideways. That makes sense. So I mean technically we could, but not in that way, and plus we would not have enough space for both of us. So why?
Speaker 2:not. I don't think we would. The closet space is like twice the size of this table, maybe, if not more maybe I just don't.
Speaker 1:I don't feel like we may have enough space for it. Just knowing how I lay and how I am, I'm a very fidgety person, you know this you know what's funny, what I?
Speaker 2:I considered turning our closet into a reading nook y'all see what I'm talking about, bro.
Speaker 1:Y'all see what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Uh, better half anyway, um what?
Speaker 2:the fact that we had similar ideas?
Speaker 1:yeah, pretty much and uh, yeah, those are some of the things that my mom did and kind of helped me understand my mom definitely words of affirmation always bigging me up and and stuff like that and that's all you do. So, yeah, I'm trying to think of the other things that she did. But my mom was definitely very loving. You know she obviously had the wrath of a black mom, but, uh, very loving more than anything. So, but, yeah, how about you?
Speaker 2:so my role model I have to preface this with saying that my role model that I looked up to when it came to relationships and being loved was my grandma and grandpa. Um, my mom and dad have a great relationship, but my grandma and grandpa had an amazing one, and my role model specifically was my grandpa. So a lot of the things that you do that he used to do with grandma was he would like just randomly dance with her. They used to do square dancing all the time. They were literally part of a square dancing club. I would sit there and I'd watch them and be like that's so fucking cute. I really love that. He would spend time with me. We would go out for drives and we'd have just random songs playing. We'd listen to new music together. We'd get to spend time together just chilling and vibing, and we had great cuddle sessions. I loved cuddling with him and I love cuddling with you. That.
Speaker 1:I know that, I know, I know that all so well.
Speaker 2:He used to be really goofy too. Okay, I love the fact that you are similar to him in that aspect, that you can be that carefree around me, okay.
Speaker 1:I can respect that Kind of keeping the level of energy and being goofy and just being myself.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 2:I can see that goofy and just being myself and just okay, I can see that. Um, so we used to go and we would. He he's the kind of person who would go ahead and burn like dvds onto cd-roms for us to play, and he was constantly asking what my interests were and he would go and he'd find movies and tv shows that I thought were funny or interesting. Like we had a whole collection of like dinosaur movies, because for the longest time all I was into was dinosaurs I mean, I can definitely tell that that's your thing.
Speaker 1:I mean, you like dino nuggies?
Speaker 2:no, not really. You don't like dino nuggies no, you'd be a first.
Speaker 1:Everybody likes dino nuggies.
Speaker 2:Um, but land before time yes, my girl all right um, but also like dino documentaries all right, you lost me.
Speaker 1:What do? You mean I'm not watching no documentaries I think they're interesting of course you do, you find almost I like.
Speaker 2:I like documentaries in general, as long as they're, like, nature related or things that I'm interested in in my actual life I like different.
Speaker 1:Obviously you know what I like. I like. I guess you I remember you called it was like they were gossipy driven or like uh what was that one um when? I watch um and people talk about like certain situations that happen and like their, their commentary on it and stuff like that you?
Speaker 2:you like the uh, the commentary docu-series yes I love that especially.
Speaker 1:My favorite one is um, um summoning salts, and somebody saw dark side of the ring. Yes, I love dark side of the ring. Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it. New Jack's episode is one of my favorite episodes because that man knowing he's on camera and he says some of the most wild stuff Love it, my, some of the most wild stuff.
Speaker 2:Love it. My grandma and I used to watch MMA and boxing and wrestling together when I was over at her place. They had MMA like that back in the day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, y'all was watching Ultimate Fighter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whatever we were able to get over on the German cable networks.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, german. Yeah, yeah, yeah Y'all probably would have that?
Speaker 1:I don't. I remember seeing in america the only mixed martial arts thing I remember seeing. It was fabricated though, but it was like beast warrior something. Um, it was like live action and martial arts stuff. I started watching it again recently, uh, because somebody brought it up, because one of the martial artists came from. It was in mortal combat one, the first movie. So I remember somebody brought it up and I was like, oh snap, I remember this is crazy, so yeah um that spending that time with my grandparents is also where my love of horror movies comes from what is your favorite horror movie?
Speaker 1:I don't think I've ever asked bram stoker's dracula. Is that the one where he's like? With tom cruise and uh keanu reeves is that the one where he's like really like the dracula, is like really old and like um. There's a part where he has like his whole white hair. He has a red dress, looking in that gown thing I think so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or are you thinking of the new dracula?
Speaker 1:no, it's a very old it's. Yeah, it was a video game off of it too, and it was trash um, so it's the one with what's her name, the girl who plays the daughter in um Beetlejuice. I probably have to watch this with you, um, cause you've watched all my horror movies except Chucky. I don't think. I don't think you watched.
Speaker 1:Well like I've watched the explanations that you've listened to, but watch Child's Play with me. Chucky's the man, bro, chucky is the man anyway. Um, was there any other thing before? We kind of uh this one can you show me the image of the actual dracula? Yep, that's the one yeah yep, that's the one.
Speaker 2:Yep, that game was trash like trash um one of my other favorites that I want to get a scene tattooed from uh is the howling five, not five, four you're gonna have to tell me about that another time I don't even know what the heck, that is because most of my movies, I guess you could say like it's an I love.
Speaker 2:the thing I love about it is the special effects that they use, because they they don't use special effects in terms of they, because they didn't have the computer capacity for it back then. They used more practical effects, which is really cool, because they actually put in time and effort into the makeup that they did for the movie.
Speaker 1:I can still only say Child's Play and Halloween. I would be Michael Myers for Halloween if I could, but I'd probably be a little too into that character, a little not like. I'm not, I'm actual myself it's just like you know method actors. You know method actors, you get into that role. I mean, anytime I put on a mask, like my pentagon junior mask, I I'm into that like I'm I'm that person now.
Speaker 2:So, um, I feel like I would be a little too into it my uh, one of the other things that I I like to do with you is the parallel play, which I picked that up from my parents so um.
Speaker 2:So one of the things my parents do and I don't think that they realize that this is a a thing that they do um. Or, more specifically, I don't think my mom realizes that it's a thing that they do that is considered a love language um is the parallel play they um. Dad will get home and he'll sit on the couch and he'll watch his TV and Mom will sit on the couch with him, but she'll be on her iPad or on her phone.
Speaker 1:Okay. Yeah, it is parallel pie Pretty much. You're doing your own thing, but we're still in the same space.
Speaker 2:Right, you're spending time together. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:You drink from yours, I drink from mine. We got both two gallons. We both have gallons of fluids. Uh, they drunk more than me today, though, and I need to get better at mine anyway. Um, what do you think we should talk about next week? Um, so, remember we talked about the whole unpacking jealousy in relationships.
Speaker 2:We did. We did say we were going to talk about that.
Speaker 1:We also would love. Oh sorry, oh, actually no. Next week we have our first guest.
Speaker 1:I think we have our first guest next week. We have an individual coming from Tampa. Uh wait, no, that's next next week, that's on the 25th. We actually have two guests. We have one on the 25th and the one that may be either on the 18th or the 26th, so we might have double whammies. We'll see, but regardless, we should have either a guest next episode or, yes, we'll be probably talking about unpacking, jealousy and relationships and please, if you guys have a topic that you would like for us to talk about, feel free to put it in the comments and also please ask questions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're struggling for content right here we ain't really struggling for it. I'm struggling to think of ideas for the podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, how about this? I ain't struggling, but I would like your suggestions, mainly because this is a journey for both of us Journey for both of us, but also a journey for you guys too, because you are part of this with us and we appreciate you guys following us and enjoying our content. So please feel free to let us know some of the topics you'd like for us to talk about and we will give our best opinions on it and make it fun and educational. But overall, I hope you guys are enjoying the cooking channel. If you haven't yet, please subscribe to the cooking channel you know, I still haven't seen any of the videos.
Speaker 1:I haven't had the chance to, because the first one you got to do the voiceover yeah yeah did. I did no member yeah you gotta redo it so what you could do when you get back. But I had to do voiceover on mine too and I think the other one we did as well.
Speaker 2:We have to do?
Speaker 1:We had to do voiceover for the first three.
Speaker 2:We did, but otherwise Did we do three of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did your enchiladas, we did my steak and then we did the burgers.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's right. Yeah yeah, so we did three. I'm still so mad I didn't hit record on that freaking button. I'm still so mad about that because that was a good those were good shots.
Speaker 1:I saw you when he was moving and everything those were going to be good shots I'm so mad at that Well, I bet you know next time to hit the record button. I hope you hit the record button on mine.
Speaker 2:I did hit the record button on yours.
Speaker 1:All right, making sure, but uh, uh, here, guys, that this is going to be for us today. Uh, we definitely again. Appreciate you again. If you haven't subscribed yet, if you haven't done anything of that nature, please do so. Like the video, let us know what you think in the comments. And, uh, this is your spoonful of polyamory. Um, we hope that you leave nourished, filled and refreshed and able to come back to see us next time. Until then, is your boy, goro masuku, and enjoy the rest of your day until next time bye.